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69: Ways To Stop Being A People Pleaser with Ulondia Tow (Part 1)
232 Plays3 years ago
Laura Fleetwood and Jill Devine sat down with Ulondia (Londi) Tow this week. Londi best describes herself in the following sentence, “I love God, people, clothing, and food.” Londi has five children, owns multiple businesses and is striving to live an unedited life.
Londi shared her insight, wisdom, and experience with people pleasing, burnout, and delegating.
Links to Hazel and Blues Boutique and My Beloved Bridal:
https://hazelandbluesboutique.com/
https://www.mybelovedbridalandformal.com/
https://www.instagram.com/mybeloved.bridal/
https://www.facebook.com/mybelovedbridalandformalwear
Normal Goes A Long Way Website: https://www.normalgoesalongway.com/
Normal Goes A Long Way Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/normalgoesalongway/
Normal Goes A Long Way Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Normal-Goes-A-Long-Way-110089491250735
Normal Goes A Long Way is brought to you by Messiah St. Charles: https://messiahstcharles.org/
Two Kids and A Career: https://www.jilldevine.com/podcast
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Transcript
Introduction and Jill's Faith Journey
00:00:00
Speaker
The following podcast is a Jill Devine Media production. Christianity has become known for judgy people, strange words, ancient stories, confusing rules, and a members-only mindset. This is why I stayed away from the church for so long, but it's not supposed to be that way. I'm Jill Devine, a former radio personality with three tattoos, a love for a good tequila, and who's never read the entire Bible.
00:00:24
Speaker
Yet here I am hosting a podcast about faith. The Normal
Introducing Co-host and Guest
00:00:28
Speaker
Goes Along Way podcast is your home for real conversations with real people using real language about how faith and real life intersect. Welcome to the conversation.
00:00:39
Speaker
I'm Jill DeMine here with Laura Fleetwood and our special guest to discuss stories. Londie Tao. Some people, I'm always correcting them, like, I am your backer. They're like, Londie Tao. I'm like, no, it's Tao. It's Londie Tao. It is Tao, yes. Welcome to the podcast. Thank you, ladies, for having me. So I will set this up and then let Laura kind of take over because
00:01:06
Speaker
I, well, first of all, I just cannot get enough of you and hearing you talk, Londie. But what happened was we were doing some filming for the church, Laura, and you always have good style. And I said, Laura, I need to come over to your house. Can I borrow some stuff? I just, and you're like, no, you can go see my friend, Londie. And I was like,
00:01:31
Speaker
I've heard about this Londie lady. I've heard about this lady from other school parents and churchgoers. You didn't really explain much about Londie. You said she has a place in her home that you can shop and she'll style you. I don't
Personal Transformations and Connections
00:01:51
Speaker
know if I expressed it so much to you. I can't even remember.
00:01:56
Speaker
Inside, I was just petrified. Oh, no. Yeah, because my and I have talked about this a lot on my other podcast, Two Kids in a Career, but I haven't really been super, super open on this one. But I have some major self image issues. And when you think about going to get styled, you think that person's just going to see all your flaws, at least the flaws you see.
00:02:24
Speaker
And how can you feel when you put on something and it's too tight and then you have to go up in size and you have to, it's just, it's a mental thing for me, but I heard wonderful things about Londie and I went with you, Laura, to Londie's house and it, I don't want to say transformation,
00:02:49
Speaker
it has opened up something in me when it comes to clothing and a person. I have a long, long journey ahead of me, but me and Londie, you sure did make me feel beautiful that day. And that turned into conversations that turned into conversations that turned into conversations that have now led you here to where I just,
00:03:18
Speaker
I can't wait to talk to you more. So that's how I first met Laundi. Laura, your experience. Well, Laundi and I first met serving coffee and lemonade behind a table for some kind of school event or something. Grandparents. Oh, it was a grandparents day. And I remember not, I wasn't in a good place that day. And I'm like, here I am serving this, you know, these drinks and there's Laundi and we kind of,
00:03:47
Speaker
I don't think you really wanted to talk that day either. We just were kind of like in our own thing. And then I was like, okay, God, you put me here with this lady, you know, gonna ask her what she does and all the things. And then lo and behold, like we had all these common passions and interests and you had done ministry and I was doing ministry for women and we met a couple times for coffee and then we've been able to
00:04:12
Speaker
be together on several events and in several different settings. And I just treasure Yulandia as somebody who boldly speaks the truth. And when I say truth, like not just the truth of God's word, but like the truth, like you're going to say it like it is. And I need people like that in my life because so many people just want to be pleasers and
00:04:38
Speaker
you know, just want to be on your good side. Not that you don't, but like I know I can come to you with anything and you'll tell me what you really think and it will have a God lens.
Pouring into Others and Self-Care
00:04:48
Speaker
Yes. And I don't ever feel like even in my short amount of time of knowing you, Londi, that like what you just said about coming to you with anything, like there's a judgment. You know, sometimes when you talk to people and you're like, oh, they're totally judging me, I can tell it. Like you listen and then
00:05:06
Speaker
you pour in. Yes. Yeah. And I allow other people to pour into me. Thank you ladies for that. I allow other people to pour into me so that I have more to give. And I can remember, um, post COVID, my husband and I having a really hard time and I needed a family timeout. Has anybody ever needed a family timeout? I needed one and I did, I could not gather myself.
00:05:37
Speaker
to either go to Thanksgiving or have Thanksgiving in my home. So I literally sent my family away to Thanksgiving and I went to Laura's and had Thanksgiving with her family and just sat and enjoyed their family. And that to a lot of people sounds very bold and scary. But I've learned that if I will do the bold and scary things,
00:06:04
Speaker
unto the Lord, meaning I'm going to go to Laura's and I'm going to let the gifts that God has given her and her family feed me. Then I'm going to, everything is going to be fine. It's when we try to do everything for ourselves at all times that we really, we fall short. We just do. And to be able to do that during the holidays as a mother of five,
00:06:30
Speaker
and say, you know what, honey, I love you, God bless you, you're released. Go spend it with your mom and your family and take the kids and enjoy yourself and I'll see you in a couple of days. And that was the best Thanksgiving I think I've had in all the Thanksgivings in 43 years. Oh my
Faith-Driven Fashion and Styling
00:06:52
Speaker
gosh, you're gonna make me cry. Cause that's the only Thanksgiving I've ever hosted. We always go out of town, but because of COVID,
00:07:00
Speaker
Of course we couldn't travel. And I just remember thinking, Londie's going to be all by herself. She needs to come here. And I didn't know if you would, but I'm so glad you did. We had so much fun with you. It was wonderful. I came home and I decorated my Christmas trees so my kids and my husband came back to our house fully ready for the holiday.
00:07:20
Speaker
It was wonderful. So thank you for doing that. And it kind of segues into, you know, those ideas of being ready for people instant as God's word says in season and in out so that when Jill shows up at my house and she's ready to be styled, I can be sensitive to what might be going on in her heart and give her my absolute best because I've taken those pause buttons and I've allowed other people's gifts from God to fill me. Cause that's the whole point of spiritual gifting.
00:07:49
Speaker
is it's one to another, not so that we could just say that we have these gifts, minus fashion and speaking God's truth over people, some hospitality, and on and on and on. But I think knowing who you are in Christ is the starting point to doing while on this earth, one to another. Okay, so tell us how you came to that realization, because that's not just something
00:08:15
Speaker
you know, that you one day wake up and go, oh, I know my purpose. It's to style people. And I can actually, you know, I can be with them physically, spiritually and emotionally while I'm doing that. How did you get to where you are today? And then just give us a little background about what exactly you're up to these days with your. Sure. So I believe
00:08:44
Speaker
God in everything that he says. And it really is a place of decision to believe God in everything he says. And his word says so many times that he will give us the desires of our heart. And I truly believe that our natural bent is the desire of our heart, what makes us happy, what brings us joy, what causes other people to see light in us. And for me, since I was young,
00:09:12
Speaker
It's always been fashion. It's always been garments, clothing, color. It's always brought me joy. And I've always used it as a place of worship and honoring God's word and creation and imagining when I read in Genesis what it looked like and what those colors were like in the palette of creating the Garden of Eden. And then just incorporating those desires and dreams
00:09:42
Speaker
to materials. So at one point I just decided when I was spending some time in prayer, I was just going to sit and I was going to dream and I was going to write down all the things that people would call foolish, but I called dreaming with the Lord. And if anybody's listening to this podcast, I want to encourage you to do that. Have a seat and as a posture of worship, grab a pen and paper and just begin to tell God what you
00:10:11
Speaker
desire to do for him on this earth, in this kingdom. And for me,
Businesses and Vision of Faith in Fashion
00:10:19
Speaker
that was styling. And I have big, big hopes and dreams with styling. I started out in a need for women that struggle with anxiety about body image and really bringing beautiful clothes in to a place of healing. And that's why I loved doing it in my home because I really wanted
00:10:39
Speaker
you know, the time and prayer and worship to be baked into that floor. So when women came in to get styled, they didn't have the trepidation that they would have if they went to any other shopping experience. So that's why I started in my home. And then my closest friend, Ashley McVey opened Hazel was going to open Hazel and blues. And she's like, I bought this farmhouse. I did this thing. I just bought this. And she gave me the address and I drove by and I'm like, Oh, what are we, what are we doing?
00:11:10
Speaker
But her gift from God is creating these beautiful aesthetic atmospheres where
00:11:17
Speaker
anything's possible. And she totally did that in that old red farmhouse. It's transformed. It is like when you walk in, you're like, wow, what? Cause I saw it as a residential. So I was like, what are we doing? But I trusted the gift of creation in her and she trusted it in me. So we just began to, to plan and cast vision. We went to LA on a buying trip and just,
00:11:44
Speaker
That was a year ago and now we're already talking about expanding. And in that, I remember having coffee with her and her saying, so what's your next dream? What's next for you? Because I know this is just not it. And I said, bridal. And I said, I'm thinking about
00:12:02
Speaker
buying this bridal salon that's been in business for 26 years. It was Lori's bridal and she's wanting to retire, but she's wanting to pass it on to somebody that really wants to take it to the next step. And I'm just believing God, massively believing God for the finances to do it. Three days later, my mother-in-law, Pam, approached me and gave me a check.
00:12:25
Speaker
So I was able to do that and to build it and it's for it to be a genuine towel family business. And it has been, it's been so much fun from brides to prom to homecoming to mother of the bride and gala. It, someone asked me why, why bridal? And I said, because it's like the apex of every woman's fashion experience.
00:12:53
Speaker
It truly is, it's the apex of your fashion experience in your life. So if I can take the same healing concept of common thread and hazel and blues and incorporate that into a bridal and to set a woman's marriage off in the right direction of her feeling loved and honored and being a daughter, whether she's a believer or not, I feel like that's contributing to someone's life and the way they start their marriage.
00:13:23
Speaker
That's where
Practical Faith and Bible Understanding
00:13:24
Speaker
I'm at now. Common Thread is thriving and well, and my beloved bridal, that's the name of it, is a Christ-centered bridal salon where we talk about the things of God and allow people in a safe space to ask the hard questions. I love that so much. And I'm curious when someone walks into one of your shops.
00:13:47
Speaker
And they're like, okay, I need help with this or that, or you know, I just pick something out for me. How do you, I'm so curious about like your process. Like what's your process for looking at me, say, and like I know when I went to Brazil, you helped me pick out some cute,
00:14:06
Speaker
that red dress. But what goes through your mind, because you're just not styling them outwardly, you're filling them inwardly too, so how do you do that? And you do it in a non-creepy way, by the way. Good, good, I'm so glad. I actually am praying at all times, and I ask the Lord to show me how he sees them.
00:14:33
Speaker
Show me God, when you see Jill, what do you see? When you see Laura, what do you see? So I try to just bring all the scriptures about who God says that we are and how much he loves us into fashion. So I'm pulling things like garments of praise. Like going to Brazil, that's like a very, just like raw, edgy, lovely experience. So you want to show up well with your beautiful Monteer and you got to put a red dress on with it. Yeah.
00:15:03
Speaker
Cause it's Brazil and it's joyful. So garments of joy to me are always like colors of red and just pinks and fuchsia and anything that sparks fire and joy and garments of like royalty or purple and blues. And like, what do I feel that that person gives off? And if they're giving off sadness, I do address it so that we can pray through that.
00:15:34
Speaker
And then we can put some garments of praise on a spirit of heaviness because that's the remedy that's in Psalms. So I'm always incorporating scripture because I can't lose. If I do it in my own strength, I will lose. I've tried and it was an utter failure. But if I do it in faith, according to God's word, I can really rest in that. Okay. For some of our listeners who don't really have a background of faith,
00:16:04
Speaker
What do you mean when you say that when you say do it in his strength versus my strength? Give him an example. An example of doing it in God's strength is first of all knowing God's word. You can't do anything in God's strength if you don't spend time in prayer and spend time
00:16:21
Speaker
feeding yourselves with the things that edify you and edify you in your faith. For example, if you are available on a Sunday and you need it to come to a church, come to Messiah, worship with a family of believers, and they're going to stir up faith in you and encourage you to read God's word and encourage you to be around other women and men of faith. And that's going to give you the content, the substance of God.
00:16:47
Speaker
the things about God that you don't know and allow you to ask those questions and show you in God's word where you can get some of those answers for yourself. And if you're feeding yourself well, you'll be able to rely on those things. It's just like, and I tell ladies all the time, don't be intimidated by the word Bible. Most of the women I know are highly educated women. Like they have studied
00:17:10
Speaker
more than I could ever think to study. It's no different. So if you're going to be a nurse, you're going to study the things of nursing and you're going to go apply them day to day. If you're a woman of God, you're going to study the things of God and you're going to apply them day to day. That is leaning on his strength. If you're a nurse, you're not going to be like, let me think about how I would come up with drawing blood.
00:17:31
Speaker
You're going to be like, here's the process of driving drawing blood. I'm going to grab this, this, this, this. I'm going to stick the person. I'm going to put a being date on it. It's the same thing. When I'm sad, what did God's word say for me to do? Oh, he said, enter his gates with thanksgiving and into his courts with praise. So that means I have to do something in myself and to come out of myself and apply the things of God in order to get the rewards of the things of God. So it's just application.
00:17:57
Speaker
And I think a lot of times in Christian and evangelical circles, we talk about faith, but we don't talk about how to do faith. Yes. So true. Yeah. We're like, just believe this and it'll be all great. Uh, no, no, believing looks like, okay, God, your word says that you are a safe place. So that means if I come to you and I'm crying and I'm telling you that I'm hurt, I can cast my burdens on you. I can lean into your word to get some remedy for those burdens. And I can walk that out day to day.
00:18:27
Speaker
it is an action oriented process. And then I just incorporate that into everything that I do.
Struggles and Growth in Faith
00:18:33
Speaker
And sometimes I fail and then I pick myself back up and I get back to that process. Something that is striking me when you said that we shouldn't be scared of the Bible. And I think for me,
00:18:47
Speaker
learning and going on this process is that so many times you hear this is the true story, these are the words and then I and I'm not alone in this but you read the words and you're like I have no idea what that even meant or when I get into these passages of son of so and so and so and so and father of and all these names I'm like what in the heck and so then I
00:19:14
Speaker
We'll come to Laura, I'll do whatever and say, what does this mean? Or I'll start looking it up. And for some reason, and I'm learning that this is not the way to think, I thought it was wrong to have to find an interpretation of the Bible. Like you should know what that means. You are not in your faith or your faith is not there because you don't know what these mean. But it's just like when you just said the nurse, it kind of hit me like,
00:19:42
Speaker
You have to do research. You have to get the idea. It's a different word and a way of like, come on, this is our ongoing joke, Laura, the Samaritan woman. You know how I thought I was like, well, Jesus sure didn't say please. He wasn't kind to her. But it's like not knowing the context. And so,
00:20:03
Speaker
It is scary, even for me opening it up new, it's scary sometimes when I read it and I'm like, I didn't understand anything about that. But what has helped me is talking to people like you and then my particular Bible too is a women's devotional Bible. So then there's something to back up that passage that I'm like, oh, well that makes sense. And that's what it should be. I don't know why I feel that way or why others do, but
00:20:33
Speaker
It does. It feels like since I don't know what I'm reading, then my faith isn't there. And I think that's a ploy of the enemy that he uses to get in our head because it is hard to understand. We need to say that it's Hebrew. It's based on Hebrew words that we don't have the same meaning for a lot of the same words.
00:20:53
Speaker
So it's finding that translation, whether it's the New Living Translation or Women's Study Bible. When I'm getting ready to teach, I use my student Bible. I'm 43 years old. I go back and grab my student Bible from 1995.
00:21:10
Speaker
And I bring it down to digestible text where you can actually apply it to your life. And then I also encourage women to like read the New Testament and read Paul's epistles like an email. It is a story. It has an opening and as a closing. It's got context and it's got meat. I think it's when we pull scripture out. Yeah.
00:21:35
Speaker
It'd be like you sending me an email and me just reading like a passage here, skipping down. No, it's a fluid letter. It is a letter. So when I'm studying God's Word, let's say I'm studying Philippians, I'm going to study Philippians for three weeks. I'm going to read it open to close in its entirety in the morning. And then I'm going to try to see where, what he's saying, why he was saying it to them at that time.
00:22:05
Speaker
Then God's word is still alive and active and sharper than a two-edged sword. That's what his word says. And how can I apply this to my space right now? Not looking to validate anything I'm doing, but looking to learn how to just live. And the world is so different and it's changing rapidly. So I think if we just learn to take it for what it is and then ask God to show us, what are you saying to me? He's faithful to tell you.
00:22:35
Speaker
That's the key. That really is the key is reading it and asking the question like, what is the heart of this? Like underneath the situation that he's writing about, underneath the people that he's writing about, like what is God's underlying truth or heart? And then God, how do you want me to apply that to the situation I'm facing? I love that. People ask me all the time, how do you have so much faith? Because I trust the character of God.
00:23:04
Speaker
I see his character in scripture. So it's not look, I'm not looking for like dudes and dotes and rights and wrong. I'm looking for the character because the reason that you trust people is because you have equity with people. I have equity with God because I can look back on my life. I think we've talked about this Joe before and see so many times where he really was there. I just didn't see him in the moment because I was so hurt or I had an agenda or whatever.
00:23:33
Speaker
but he's had equitable deposits in my life for so many years that I've been serving him that I can trust even the things that are hard for me to accept.
Handling Disappointment and Trusting God's Plan
00:23:44
Speaker
That's a journey in trusting the things that are hard to accept. Have you had faith like all your life? I have had faith all my life, but I was raised in ministry. My parents were in ministry.
00:23:59
Speaker
I had major disappointments in early adulthood. I got married when I was 18. I did everything the right way, everything the right way. And then my husband filed for divorce while he was in Iraq. So that was a huge, huge disappointment. And what does my life look like now? So what I like to say is the wheels came off the bus without divulging too much information.
00:24:27
Speaker
And I kind of just said, you know, I'm going to hit a pause button on my faith and I'm just going to do this like self serving thing. I remember you telling me that for some time. I'm going to take some time. And even in the most self centered moments of my life, his hand was still there. It's almost like the Holy Spirit was just standing next to me saying, OK, well,
00:24:54
Speaker
As soon as you're ready, time is ticking. So let's hurry up and wrap this up. And I can remember feeling those things. And then I had a moment of complete and utter breakdown post-river. My daughter River, who's seven, I had severe, severe postpartum depression and OCD that was, landed me in the hospital for five days. I called it a great vacation because I got to sleep.
00:25:25
Speaker
and just did some reassessing with the Lord and decided that when I left that hospital at Mercy and that behavioral health center that I was not going to re-emerge the same and I was going to deal with the things that got me there and what got me there was disappointment. I think as women we talk about
00:25:44
Speaker
like offenses that happen at a certain time. So and so did this, or I got a divorce, or my husband cheated on me, or my husband is suffering from pornography addiction, or my children, or I've lost a child. Yes, all of those things, however, however, it's the disappointment that pushes you away from the Lord.
00:26:06
Speaker
So if we can deal with disappointment and become resilient in disappointment, we'll have better reactivity when life swings on us because it will. Yeah, it's the whole expectation element of life. We have these expectations that God never promised us. He never promised us that life was going to be easy. He never promised us that we weren't going to feel sadness or anxiety or fear. So are we prepared
00:26:36
Speaker
for when we do encounter them and usually not. And that's where the disappointment comes in. Cause it's like, I thought it wasn't supposed to be this way. And it wasn't. No, it wasn't in the beginning. It wasn't. But it is now. Right. And there's a remedy and it's learning to live in the remedy every single day without pretending like the pain isn't there.
00:26:58
Speaker
You have to know that the pain is there. We have to address the pain. We have to address the sadness. We can't just pretend that it's not there and just like slap hope on it because God's word also says that hope deferred makes the heart sick. And what that means is if I'm hoping, hoping, hoping that, you know, I get to live out one of my dreams, which is to be a political stylist. Oh.
00:27:25
Speaker
Alright, any of you aspiring politicians out there, you know where to find your stylist. No kidding. I have to ask this, does it matter what party they're in? No, you don't care. See, that's what I love about you. No, kingdom is kingdom. Now listen, I may have to lay some hands on some people and cast some devils out.
00:27:53
Speaker
I'll do that discreetly and kindly, and then we'll get back to that fashion experience. But I'm just kidding. No, I'm not kidding at all. But there's a process that I have to get there. I can't just hope. Well, maybe one day I'll get to do that. I have to put the processes in place to get there. I have to say it out loud. This is what my desire is. This is what I'm wanting. And then I have to surrender that to the Lord. Lord bless me in that.
00:28:22
Speaker
Bless me in that. Open those doors for me. I'll do it unto you. And when I'm not doing it until you remind me and I will auto correct. You mentioned something that hit me when, and I'm going to say this and then I have a question for the two of you about this pain, but you said that I'm paraphrasing, but that you with trust,
00:28:49
Speaker
That's how you build equity. That's why you trust people and you trust God because he was there in all the things, good, bad, and ugly. And I was thinking about that because that's something I wrestled with and I still wrestle with like, oh, what if I would have had faith when this moment happened? What would have been different? And then it's like, no, no, no, no, I'm slowly learning.
00:29:18
Speaker
God was there all those times. And now I'm starting to appreciate that. And you saying that just made me realize that more like, Jill, look at all those times that you were disappointed or you were hurt or there was tragedy or there was this and then what came out of it. And you never really ever see it. And Laura, we've talked about this. We talked about this with your daughter. Like sometimes it takes devastation. And that's not necessarily what
00:29:48
Speaker
you want, but sometimes that's what happens. I can see the beauty in that. But here's a question that I think is often asked of pastors, but I'm asking the two women in front of me that I know have faith. What about those individuals who are not in the same realm as you two? And when that disappointment comes or when that hope and that prayer isn't answered, that they do blame God. I think blaming God is part of our process.
00:30:19
Speaker
I do. And I think he can handle it. And I know when I was utterly disappointed many times in my life and I was alike to the Lord, because I have a different prayer life. I'm like, you let this happen. You had the control of the situation. You could have allowed this thing not to happen. And yet you did. And I'm not speaking to you.
00:30:44
Speaker
Oh yeah, I've had yelling matches with God. Really? For sure. I've blamed God so many times in my life. He wants us to come to him with everything. He already knows it. So us pretending like we're not blaming him is not helping anybody. What if someone in this happens? They leave.
00:31:06
Speaker
They are gone. Their child was taken from them. They suffered tragedy, abuse, and they're like, uh-uh. Nope, not doing it. You know God. And I know in my heart, God doesn't want that. I know that this is sin. This is sin, but how do you?
00:31:29
Speaker
How do you get there? How do you get back? You allow people to see you broken. Yeah. You allow people to love you in your brokenness and you allow God to show him his, show you his faithfulness and it takes time. You know,
00:31:48
Speaker
Isolation does not allow anybody to give you the joy in their life so that you can get filled up a little bit and then you can pass that joy on. So human experience to me in a godly way is everybody taking turns and mourning
00:32:05
Speaker
and laughter and anger and joy and sadness and sorrow, but then exuberance and praise and thanksgiving. I think it's when we try to be all or one, all or the other, like all joyful or all miserable. I think that's really, we're selling each other short.
00:32:24
Speaker
If you're angry with God, be angry with God, but allow me to comfort you and share with you how when I was angry, this is what he did for me so that you can remember that. And when you journal, you can go back and say, well, I did come out of that. And when we're walking with people who are in that painful place, not trying to fix it and just letting them have the emotions and being there for them and that it's okay. I think as women, a lot of times we want to go into fix it mode.
00:32:54
Speaker
And some things we can't fix for each other. I mean, God can fix it.
Preview of Next Episode
00:33:00
Speaker
And that comes with time and understanding and relationship with each other. All right. We are going to hit stop. No pause on this week's conversation because we are going to continue this conversation with Londie in next week's episode. Here's a preview of that.
00:33:20
Speaker
And for some, for my husband and I, it was just a reevaluation and readjustment. For example, this year, Shane did all the parent-teacher conferences. There's as much to their dad as I am their mother. So it's just allowing grandparents to be grandparents and husbands to be husbands and friends to be friends. I don't have to be everything to everybody. I just have to be what I'm responsible to be. That was huge though. And I remember thinking, oh my gosh, people are gonna think I don't care about my kids anymore, because I'm so busy with my businesses that I don't even go to my kid's parent-teacher.
00:33:49
Speaker
No.