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89: Using Your Platform For Good (Part 1)
180 Plays2 years ago
In this New Year, Jill Devine would like to challenge you to embrace the uncomfortable in 2024 and see how it provides growth in your life.
Joining Jill this week to discuss embracing uncertainty and discomfort, Emily Elam. Emily loves to travel, serve the community, learn new things, and have fun! Her self confidence had been shaken by a painful divorce and she was looking to gain back the confidence she lost. She discussed how an uncomfortable solo journey helped her mental well-being. Emily also referenced the retreat episodes Jill talked about in 2023.
Episode 79: YES Moments - The Importance of Retreating
Episode 80: YES Moments - The Importance of Retreating (Part 2)
Episode 81: YES Moments - The Importance of Retreating (Part 3)
Emily’s IG: @emcandoanything
Normal Goes A Long Way Website: https://www.normalgoesalongway.com/
Normal Goes A Long Way Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/normalgoesalongway/
Normal Goes A Long Way Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Normal-Goes-A-Long-Way-110089491250735
Normal Goes A Long Way is brought to you by Messiah St. Charles: https://messiahstcharles.org/
Two Kids and A Career: https://www.jilldevine.com/podcast
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Transcript
Introduction to the Podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
The following podcast is a Jill Devine Media production.
Critique of Christianity's Judgment
00:00:04
Speaker
Christianity has become known for judgy people, strange words, ancient stories, confusing rules, and a members-only mindset.
Jill Devine's Radio Past and Current Podcast
00:00:13
Speaker
This is why I stayed away from the church for so long, but it's not supposed to be that way. I'm Jill Devine, a former radio personality with three tattoos, a love for a good tequila, and who's never read the entire Bible.
Faith in Real Life
00:00:24
Speaker
Yet here I am hosting a podcast about faith. The normal goes a long way podcast is your home for real conversations with real people using real language about how faith and real life intersect. Welcome to the conversation.
Goals and Comfort Zones
00:00:40
Speaker
We are going to continue this journey that I have been talking about with goals, resolutions, just getting outside your comfort zone. If you haven't had a chance this new year, I started off with Audrey Fleetwood. We talked about
00:01:03
Speaker
some brave stuff that she did. She went on a solo trip to Europe and she's 19 and I am just completely taken back by that. And so I wanted to take season six and continue the stories and continue
Faith Beyond Church
00:01:20
Speaker
listening to others and how things are impacting their lives and also talking about faith and how it comes about. Because here's the thing. One of the things that we don't talk enough about, I feel, is that being with God can happen anywhere. Growing your faith can happen anywhere. It doesn't necessarily have to be in a formal setting. And so I want to continue that talk
Introduction of Emily Elam
00:01:45
Speaker
with Emily Elam. How are you, Emily? I'm great, Jill. Thanks for having me on your podcast. So let me explain how I know you. You attend the church that I attend and work at, Messiah St. Charles, and you're also like a powerhouse professional and you're on all these boards and you're just amazing.
Emily on Jill's Influence
00:02:08
Speaker
And I
00:02:10
Speaker
love seeing what you're doing in your life. And then we started talking about something that you did that was uncomfortable and was outside your comfort zone. And I mean, I'm really honored that you said some of it was you were thinking of me. You've been, you know, Jill, you've been such a
00:02:32
Speaker
spiritual leader, whether you realize it or not, for me and I think many others. I don't realize it. I don't think it should be surprising that I thought of you. Well, it is. But I think that that's what the beauty is because of these conversations. So I am really sure that somebody is going to be listening to this and they're going to think the same thing about you, Emily.
Retreat Inspiration and Challenges
00:02:55
Speaker
So I had some episodes about my first time retreating, and I will have those linked in the show notes at normalgoesalongway.com, but it was my documentation of my very first retreat, and you listened to those. Can you tell me a little bit about what you were thinking when you were listening to those, or what kind of stood out, because that is,
Emily's Divorce and Faith's Role
00:03:22
Speaker
Where you told me that you started thinking about this with what we're gonna talk about. Yeah, so I was you know feeling kind of stuck a little bit maybe and I've been through a
00:03:39
Speaker
some challenges in my personal life is, as you know, I had kind of a painful divorce, not kind of, it's never kind of painful, a painful divorce. A painful divorce and that really upended my life and shook my self confidence more than I could have ever imagined. And
00:04:03
Speaker
through kind of that recovery journey, if you wanna think about it that way, my faith was really the thing that kept me going. I mean, of course I had support from friends and family and my community here at Messiah, but I mean, literally, Jill, like there are so many days like my faith was just, that was it, that kept me going.
Faith as an Anchor
00:04:27
Speaker
And so I you know i'm kind of you know coming out of this season, just to sort of set the stage for when I first heard the particular podcast that we're talking about right now and you know i'm in this new home that i've moved into and i'm kind of getting things set up and.
00:04:44
Speaker
you know, doing things myself in a way that I maybe had never had to do before. And, you know, I don't have TV set up at this point, so, you know, your podcast is one of the things that I listen to for, you know, the sound of another human, right? Right. And so I'm listening to this podcast that you had, and it was actually three episodes that you did on the power of retreat. And you kind of talked about,
00:05:11
Speaker
getting outside your comfort zone and just connecting with the Lord and with yourself in a way that I actually wrote this down sometimes.
Questioning Faith in Hard Times
00:05:26
Speaker
And I think this is from a book that you referenced, but sometimes even with our best friends, we're not always our completely authentic selves. Yeah. Maybe we're trying to portray a little bit better image or we're trying to minimize some of what we're going through.
00:05:42
Speaker
And just this idea of going, going it alone and just your guard is completely gone. Before we get into that, what I loved, I just wrote it down is that you said through all of this craziness, your faith has kept you going. And a lot of times you will see the opposite. You will see people question their faith, which is totally normal. But when bad things happen, it's like,
00:06:09
Speaker
I don't know. How could you do this? How could this happen to me? And so I'm very interested in
Community Support in Faith
00:06:17
Speaker
that. Like, how did your faith do that? Was that more of a prayer every day? Was it more like how how did that work for you? Yeah, I would say. And certainly I had, you know, anger, not really at God, but just kind of why do
00:06:38
Speaker
things seem to work out better for other people. And I feel like they have for me. And there were so many times when I felt like I didn't even have the strength to pray. I didn't even have the words. And I am so grateful that I had a strong foundation of faith to begin with, that I just
00:07:04
Speaker
through all the pain, just, I just knew that God loved me and I, you know, still sometimes struggle to see what's the plan. You know, we hear all these verses about, you know, it, it's, uh, if it's not good, it's not over yet. And, you know, God works the good, you know, in all things for the people who love him. And, and that's something that's been a struggle, but I love the Lord and I know that he loves me and that
Jill's Personal Planning
00:07:31
Speaker
didn't change. I don't really know how else to explain it other than to say like that was my anchor and coming to church, connecting with my community group, connecting with you and others here in the church and just asking for that prayer and support was sustaining in ways that I can't even really capture into words.
00:07:52
Speaker
So, I have you here to talk about uncomfortable, talk about retreat, and it's the challenge. I said it at the beginning, I said this in Audrey's episodes, that whether you're a New Year's resolution kind of person, whether you set goals, whatever it may be,
00:08:16
Speaker
Let's do that. I will say for me, I don't necessarily do resolutions but I definitely prepare myself and each year is a little bit different and this year leading up to the new year, I was preparing myself a little bit different with this new planner that I
Setting Manageable Goals
00:08:36
Speaker
got a part of where you intentionally start figuring some stuff out. It's not necessarily goals. It's like, hey, let's look at this part of your life, this part of your life, this part of your life. Why are we feeling this certain way and how are we going to make sure that we are addressing whatever it is you want throughout the year?
00:08:55
Speaker
So for me, January, I'm just like kind of, uh, with my type A personality, like Monday is the start of the week. That's a reset refresh. Uh, January is the start of a new year and it's easy to fall off throughout the weeks and the months, but to always go back and to remember. And so that is one thing that I want to start with is, Hey,
Emily's Solo Trip to Honolulu
00:09:23
Speaker
When you set these unattainable goals or you put so much pressure on yourself, it's easy to fall away. But you have your life, you have your year, you have your five years, whatever it may be. But whatever is on your heart and your mind, let's do what we can to put it into action. And so
00:09:50
Speaker
get uncomfortable, do the things. And you did that. So take me to the planning of this amazing trip that you went on. So I went by myself to Honolulu, which is one of my favorite places in the world. And I
00:10:12
Speaker
I will say I didn't necessarily think of it as a retreat before I left in the sense of, you know, when I think of a retreat, I think of something more like what you described on your earlier podcast where you're going and there's some sort of structure and someone leading it. And it really wasn't until I got there and I think I texted you that I realized this is my retreat.
00:10:35
Speaker
This is what I needed to just kind of get away and recenter myself. But I didn't have a heavy agenda. And I wanted to be gracious to myself and acknowledge the season of life that I'm in and just kind of see how I felt when I got there.
Honoring Life Seasons
00:11:00
Speaker
And I knew that it was going to be uncomfortable. I'm not.
00:11:05
Speaker
you know, leading up to this, I was a person who wouldn't even go to a sit down restaurant by myself because that was just, you know, intimidating. And what will people think of me there alone? And no one cares, but in my mind, you know, I had that kind of built up. And so for me to decide I'm going to go to Honolulu by myself is totally out of my, my norm. But in some ways I think it felt inevitable. That's the place where I feel happiest in the world.
00:11:34
Speaker
And I got there and I was like, of course I would do this. Of course I would come here to recenter to find my piece. This is the place where
Commitment to Self
00:11:45
Speaker
I would do it. How many times have you been before this time? Well, to Hawaii, I think this was my seventh trip. Okay. It was maybe my fifth to Honolulu. Let's back up though. You didn't just book the trip
00:12:01
Speaker
like a week before you went, right? Or did you, did you? A couple weeks. Really? Okay. So this is so crazy because like Audrey explained that she knew her sophomore year of high school. She was taking a gap year. So she was planning and saving money. And so she knew, but she also said, no agenda. Like, this is what I want to do. I can do it by myself. But you're like, okay, wait. You just like woke up and you said,
00:12:31
Speaker
I'm going to go. More or less a little bit. So I, you know, I had been kind of banking vacation days thinking, oh, I'm going to, I'm going to meet somebody or my life is going to change. I'm going to take this fabulous vacation. And I kind of realized I can't wait forever to live the rest of my life for, you know,
00:12:56
Speaker
something magical that I need to start living my life now and using these days and I can either sit around my house and feel sorry for myself or I can do something fun. And so then I kind of thought, well, if I'm going to go by myself, where would I, where would I want to go? Where would I be comfortable and
00:13:18
Speaker
wanted to go somewhere warm and you know initially I was thinking well maybe I'll go to Florida or you know something perhaps more manageable and then I just thought I'm just gonna look at flights to Honolulu and from there I think you know it was totally inevitable at that point that this is what I was gonna do so I found some flights and
00:13:45
Speaker
I mean, I'm
Emily's Solo Journey and Reflection
00:13:46
Speaker
sitting here thinking, the woman that just across from me said, I do not go out to eat by myself. And then you booked a flight to Honolulu. We're not talking Herman, Missouri, where you could drive to. We are talking about completely mind blown.
00:14:13
Speaker
But in some ways, Jill, I think I needed to do something I couldn't back out of. So I booked these flights too far to come home early. And I booked a nice hotel right on the beach.
00:14:33
Speaker
You know, I'm not giving up that that money that I put down on, you know, you lose a night's stay if you don't go. And so it was kind of a way of holding myself accountable for doing it, too. You know, if I think if I would have just said, oh, I want to get out of town, I'm going to go to Chicago for the weekend or something, you know, real easy. I might have been tempted to back out.
00:14:56
Speaker
And to be honest with you, leading up to it, I was. I remember you saying this in your podcast. You wrote the dates in pencil and I did the same. I keep a paper planner and I wrote them in pencil. And I remember being on calls with people from work or telling friends, like, oh, I think I might go to Hawaii if I don't chicken out. But it was like, there's no, there's no chickening out.
00:15:24
Speaker
Just go in. All right. So you get on that flight and you get there, walk through the journey. Yeah. So I, like I said, I didn't, but I intentionally did not book a lot of activities for myself because I thought, I don't know how I'm going
Cliffhanger Ending
00:15:43
Speaker
to feel. I may just want to sit on the beach and read or, you know, I might feel sad. I don't know how I will feel.
00:15:52
Speaker
but I'm just going to take this step and remind myself that I can do things on my own. And there doesn't always have to be someone right there with me and see if I can have fun in this most beautiful place on the world. All right. Let's go ahead and leave people in suspense Emily, shall we? Let's come back in our next episode to finish up our conversation.