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88: Taking A Gap Year (Part 2)
206 Plays2 years ago
In this New Year, Jill Devine would like to challenge you to embrace the uncomfortable in 2024 and see how it provides growth in your life.
Audrey Fleetwood is no stranger to the podcast. She’s the daughter of Laura Fleetwood, Jill Devine’s spiritual mentor, and Audrey was on Episode 28: Two Public High School Students Discuss Their Faith Walk.
Jill invited Audrey back on the podcast to discuss Audrey’s decision to get uncomfortable and take a gap year.
From Wikipedia:
A gap year, also known as a sabbatical year, is a period of time when students take a break from their studies, usually after completing high school or before beginning graduate school. During this time, students engage in a variety of educational and developmental activities, such as traveling, working, volunteering, or taking courses. Gap years are not limited to a year-long break and can range from several months to a few years.
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Transcript
Introduction to Jill Devine Media
00:00:00
Speaker
following podcast is a Jill Devine Media production. Christianity has become known for judgy people, strange words, ancient stories, confusing rules, and a members-only mindset. This is why I stayed away from the church for so long, but it's not supposed to be that way. I'm Jill Devine, a former radio personality with three tattoos, a love for a good tequila, and who's never read the entire Bible.
00:00:24
Speaker
Yet here I am hosting a podcast about faith. The normal goes a long way podcast is your home for real conversations with real people using real language about how faith and real life intersect. Welcome to the conversation.
Audrey's Gap Year Adventures
00:00:40
Speaker
Now, Audrey is the daughter of Laura. She is one of the other hosts on this podcast as well as my spiritual mentor. And so in this last episode, we got to hear about this brave journey you went on, Audrey. You decided to take a gap year and go on this amazing adventure that I don't even think, I couldn't do it. And I mean that in a way of,
00:01:09
Speaker
I am a very independent person, but I'm also a homebody. I have lived where I live, the city, my whole entire life. It's not that travel doesn't excite me, it does. It's just not my calling. However, I love hearing about
00:01:35
Speaker
that from others. I love, even though I know in the last episode, you'll have to listen to it, but like the fairy houses that you were talking about in Turkey, I know that that wasn't a good time for you, but I immediately thought of my oldest daughter, Lou, who loves fairies and loves to decorate fairy theme. And I'm thinking, oh my gosh, in her eyes, how amazing would that be?
00:02:02
Speaker
I don't know if I'll ever be the traveling sort as far as something like that, but I believe there are people that are. And so I just want to talk a little bit more about that. I want to talk about what you learned, the importance of it, how it's changed you, advice, and then we'll go from there. Great. So somebody comes to you and they say, how'd you do it?
00:02:30
Speaker
Honestly, it's the most unhelpful answer ever, but I literally just say like I did it like So many people say oh my gosh. I wish I would have taken a gap year. I wish I would have traveled at that time Like okay, then do it You know like I get it when you have a job when you have a family it makes it a lot harder but if you really actually want to do something and
00:02:54
Speaker
just put your mind to it and do it. I was blessed enough that I had a community and a family where I could save that money for myself and I could work these jobs and I had the support. I would not have been able to do it if I was living in different situations or didn't have the support of my family. Um, but I just saved up and then I just had the mentality of I'm going to do it. Like I'm not backing out. I'm going to go over. If I hate it, I come home.
00:03:22
Speaker
I just had to at least try it because then it would have always been a what if.
00:03:28
Speaker
I think that that's very important with anything in life. If you just try it, you're not held to that. Just like we were talking in the last episode, you do not have to stay in the same career your entire life. Look at me, I'm in ministry. No, I went to school to be a teacher, then I got into radio, and then I did teaching, and then back into radio, and now here I am.
00:03:55
Speaker
like embrace it. That's the thing is like we have to not be so scared of change. Change is hard. Change can be good. Change can be bad. Nothing you we cannot
00:04:10
Speaker
guarantee anything, but if there is something on your heart right now that you want to change, small or big.
The Nature of Faith Discussions
00:04:17
Speaker
I mean, of course big is going to Europe, but maybe it's a 5K. Maybe it's a, you know, I don't know, learning a foreign language. It's just, you're right. Like I try to say, don't live with regrets. And we all have some, but the more we recognize that then moving forward, we can say,
00:04:39
Speaker
No, I'm gonna do this instead. Do you feel that, I don't know why this came to mind, but that you're more picky about what you say yes to now, or are you like, whatever, I'll just do whatever? No, I will definitely say yes to anything now. Like if anything it showed me, like you just do it.
00:05:05
Speaker
like Nike sponsor me, just do it. Because if somebody asks you to go, I don't know, cliff jumping, you could go cliff jumping and you might back out once you get up there or you might actually jump. But if you never took that step and actually went in the first place, you're always gonna be wondering what would have happened if I had gone. Like I would rather live with the regret of doing it than the regret of not doing it.
00:05:34
Speaker
And it's okay to go, like you said, to the cliff and then say no. Yeah, because you know yourself. Like you know if you're not actually going to enjoy it. And from the very beginning, if you're like, I hate heights, that I'm not a risk taker, that's fine. But for me, I would at least go because I want to see it. I want to be there.
Reflections on Faith and Travel
00:05:54
Speaker
When you were on your adventure, how much did your faith play a part of the day to day? Yeah.
00:06:05
Speaker
Honestly, I was hoping that this would give me like some faith epiphany. It didn't. You know, I grew up a Christian. I grew up in the church. And so faith has always kind of been like a comfortable thing for me. I've never had like that super lit fire on my soul that I hear people talking about, but I know that God is with me. And that is the main reason I was able to do this. Cause I was like, he has a plan.
00:06:35
Speaker
Like from the very beginning, I was like, if he doesn't want this gap year to happen, it's not gonna happen. And it happens. And then I got over there and I was like, okay, whenever something goes wrong, like I know I'm gonna be okay. I had to kind of just throw all my plans out the window and be like, okay God, it's up to you. And I never actively like did that in my mind. It was just kind of my mindset like the whole time.
00:07:00
Speaker
Um, about halfway through my trip, I was in Greece and I was sitting on the beach under the stars. That was like my favorite thing to do on this trip because I was by myself and by the time it got dark, a lot of people were like with their families or with their spouses, like having dinner. And so I would kind of go somewhere more secluded and like just sit under the stars and just kind of have some time to think about what I did that day or whatever.
00:07:25
Speaker
And so I was on this beach in Greece looking at the stars and I was just thinking about everything that had happened. Like I had just gotten back from, or I was about to go to Turkey. And,
00:07:38
Speaker
I was just thinking about all the beautiful things that I had seen. And I was like, this world is so freaking cool. And I was just thanking God because I was like, I really have seen you on this trip. Like I've seen the skies, I've seen the mountains, I've seen the stars, I've seen the beaches and I've been like,
00:07:57
Speaker
God made that like this is crazy. All the interactions I'd had with people. I was like, I really see you God. But then I was like, I don't really feel you. I know how that feels. Yep. And so literally out loud on this speech, I was like, let me feel you on this trip. And honestly, I never did, which is fine. And I know
00:08:23
Speaker
Like I know that seeing him also allowed me to feel him. I was like, I know you're here with me, but I never truly, I was hoping again for that epiphany for like that moment and it never happened. And so by the end of Grease, cause I had specifically asked like during Grease, I was like, I gave God a timeframe, you know, I was like, come on, like it was all in. Right, which is never how it happens. So by the end of Grease, I was like, okay, you know, Grease is the most beautiful place I went to by far.
00:08:52
Speaker
Um, so I was like, I still see you. I still haven't really felt you, but I was like, I, even though I can't actively feel you, I know how much you love me and I know, I know that you're here with me. Like I just know. So I actually ended up getting a tattoo in Greece and it says agape, which is a Greek word. I got it like in the Greek letters.
00:09:15
Speaker
because I was like, I'm in Greece. I want to get a Greek tattoo. And it means unconditional love. Greeks have different words for love. So I love pizza is different than I love my friends. There's like five or seven different words for love. Really? Yes. And agape is unconditional divine God's love. It's like a love that humans cannot experience. Agape is the love.
00:09:43
Speaker
So I got that tattoo just as a reminder for the rest of my life. Cause I was like, you were here in this amazing place. You saw God's creation. You still didn't actively feel him, but you still knew like with all my heart, how much he loved you. The feeling part is a struggle for me as well. I believe I mentioned this in the episodes I talked about retreat. Like I just said, I just want a hug. I just want a hug.
00:10:11
Speaker
I know from our original conversation in July, 2022, and you could tell me if I'm wrong, you've been wanting this epiphany for a while. Have you maybe thought that you've created the epiphany in your mind and you're looking for something, you know what I mean? You know exactly what it is you want.
00:10:40
Speaker
That's interesting though, that you went into the journey wanting that. Yes. Which says a lot as, you know, in itself, like that's something to, to, to kind of linger on. Like what does that mean? Yeah. But the fact that you even recognize that he was there with you and that he did all these things, I mean, that's,
00:11:09
Speaker
That's bigger than, I don't want to compare anybody or make someone feel less than, but that is a step in where you are in your faith. Like to sit there and actually be able to do that. Having that epiphany is like very difficult to
00:11:29
Speaker
want to have and not get it. So I understand and I don't have the advice for you. I can say I can sit with you on that and I can understand and know and that we keep trying and the fact that maybe it has happened and we just don't realize it. Like that's the other thing. That's hard.
00:11:56
Speaker
Did you visit any churches while you? I did. Yeah, because the whole like I get really hung up on this whole religion aspect like all the different religions and the rules and why this and why that and like you think you're right and we think we're right and it confuses me. So I'd love to hear a little bit about
00:12:26
Speaker
what it's like in Europe or anywhere you went. Yeah. Um, so I mainly went to churches in the beginning of my journey, which was, uh, most of them were in England. And that was honestly, because once I was by myself, I never had any idea what day of the week it was. And by the time I realized it was Sunday, it was already too late to go to church. Like that is legit the truth. It was so bad. So then I just ended up watching Messiah online.
00:12:53
Speaker
But listen, church can be any day of the week, so don't even worry, you're good. Yes, it was just the in-person services that I was like, oh man, I missed it. But I went to, let's see, I went to St. Peter's Basilica in Rome, which is the biggest church in the world. It was absolutely insane, but the most mind-blowing part
00:13:22
Speaker
was when you walk in, you know, it's gorgeous. There's murals everywhere. There's carvings on all the walls. Like the detail that they put into these older churches is amazing. And it all points to Jesus. All of it points to Jesus. But when you first walk in, this room is huge. All the way at the other side, there's like these four pillars and it kind of looks like a bed. It's like four pillars and there's like a top, like on top of it.
00:13:51
Speaker
And then there's a staircase going down. And at the bottom of that staircase is where Peter the disciple is buried. So St. Peter. Really? Yes, St. Peter, Peter the disciple was actually the first pope. Okay. And so he's buried there, which is, it's in the Vatican. That's where this church is.
00:14:10
Speaker
So, and I didn't realize that. I was like St. Peter's and they were like, oh, that's where Peter's buried. And I was like, okay, Peter, you know. And then my mom or sister said like something about him and Jesus or something. And I was like, wait, like that Peter is like underneath my feet right now. And so that was just a moment of like, okay, like this is real. Like the person who talked to Jesus, who was like Jesus best friend is literally in this room with us right now.
00:14:40
Speaker
So that was just like a mind blowing experience. And to know that all those people in that room were also sharing that same experience. It was just crazy. But then one of the sadder things, like I went to Westminster Abbey, which is where all the royal families get married and have all their ceremonies. And we actually went to an even song service there because the tours were done for the day. And we were like, oh, we want to actually experience what this is like.
00:15:10
Speaker
It's a lot of, you know, stand up, sit down, singing. It's Catholic. I don't know much about Catholicism. It was a beautiful service and all these people were sitting there, but then like 10 minutes in, a bunch of people stood up and left. And then more people stood up and left. And it was because the tours were over for the day. So they come into the church service to look around. They got bored.
00:15:37
Speaker
they stood up and left. And there was a priest standing at the doors and he would nod and say, God bless you to everyone who left. And it was one of the saddest things to watch because you're in this beautiful church, you're at this church service and people just come in and leave. And so it was all over the board of all the church experiences.
00:16:01
Speaker
Oh, you just have to maybe hope that something moved them. Yeah. I know. When I think about that, too, I remember my very first trip to New York, I was in college and going to whatever the bit, I mean, I feel like it was a St. Peter's. Yeah. Like going in there because it was like that was the church that everybody went and visited. And I never realized, like,
00:16:32
Speaker
It's a tourist thing. Oh my gosh, God's house has become a tourist thing, which I don't think is a bad thing if you're introducing, but at the same time, like what am I getting out of it? But it all goes back to we, no one knows except for him. And I guess I just have to think something, hopefully the Holy Spirit works somehow, but I could see, yeah, especially if you're,
00:17:00
Speaker
a Christian that understands how great it is to be in a service and what you can hear. Oh, wow.
Crafting Personalized Travel Experiences
00:17:10
Speaker
Okay, so are you going to create a blog and give people instructions on what to do and how that you can be their consultant? That's the problem. I honestly don't think I could.
00:17:24
Speaker
First of all, it took me so long to get everything in order. And I, you know, backtracked and started over so many different times. But it's really just like unique to you. I was just going to say, you have to figure out what it is you want. Yeah. Because that's the thing. My bucket list, my husband and I, we want to go to Italy. Yeah. And there are so many things that you can do. And I didn't realize I thought Italy, you would go to Italy. And it's like,
00:17:51
Speaker
Well, it's not just Italy. And then I've heard the Amalfi Coast and I've heard, so then I've been told like, okay, what is it about Italy? And I always keep joking around, I'm like, the food. And so then people will say, okay, then this is how you have to do it, but you have to do it for you. And that's, yeah, that's the thing. I mean, you gotta start somewhere and then cater it to your needs.
00:18:21
Speaker
biggest takeaway from your time there? Whenever people ask me like, oh, how was your trip? I always say it was the most humbling experience of my life.
Growth and Future Plans
00:18:34
Speaker
And I say that meaning like humbling as in I accidentally set off the fire alarm at Oxford, like made some really stupid mistakes while I was over there. I really learned to laugh at myself on that trip. But also humbling as in
00:18:50
Speaker
Like, this world is so big, and I went into it being like, I am gonna find what I wanna do with the rest of my life. Like, this is gonna be my big moment. No. If anything, I came out being like, it really does not matter. Like, I just have such a different perspective on the future now, and all my friends are stressing out about like, they're in college, so they're like, oh, what major am I gonna do? What job do I want? And I'm just sitting here and I'm like,
00:19:19
Speaker
It's gonna happen how God wants it to happen and we're gonna have to make some decisions along the way. They might be right, they might be wrong, but eventually we're gonna end up where we need to be.
00:19:30
Speaker
I love that you're not making something like a positive. I mean, it's a positive, but you're being very honest. Like, hey, I didn't get some of the things that I wanted. I didn't get to do this or I didn't feel this because I think so many times we don't talk about those things and there can be crap situations and that's okay. All right, so what's next for Miss Audrey Fleetwood?
00:19:57
Speaker
Yes. So I will be in Brasilia, Brazil for about three months. Um, I'll be living with my aunt and uncle who are stationed over there and there are three kids and I'll hop around South America. Probably. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do down there. I've been taking Portuguese lessons because they do not speak English there. They speak English in Europe. They do not in Brazil. So if I want friends, if I want to volunteer,
00:20:21
Speaker
I have to speak Portuguese. Um, but I'll just kind of figure it out when I get there. So you're going to be there for three months and then, and then what? And then I come home for the summer and it's college. So have you landed on a college? I mean, are you for sure? My dream is to go to California. If another thing this, uh, trip has taught me, it's that I can be away from home. Like I didn't get homesick at all. I thought I would.
00:20:48
Speaker
but I know I have such a great community to come back to and it's always gonna be here. So I'm like, I wanna go far away for college. I've applied to eight schools and I'll find out most of them actually while I'm in Brazil. And then I have to make my decision before I get back from Brazil. So that'll be a lot of FaceTime calls with the parents. Okay, so, but college is definitely in the cards. Yes, college is happening. Have you even thought about...
00:21:12
Speaker
career ideas, not just one, multiple. Honestly, not really. I have no clue. I'm thinking right now, communications, that's another thing. I met a lot of older people on this trip. I thought I would meet a lot of people my age until I realized, Audrey, a lot of people your age are not just randomly roaming around Europe right now. So that was kind of something I learned too. But all these people I talked to, they were like, as long as you have a good foundation for your education,
00:21:42
Speaker
Like you said, you're going to change your career. Like it's going to happen. So I'm thinking communications. I've also thought psychology, just something where I could specify in a master's if I wanted to. Yeah. Just something to go into for now. I like, I almost see you when you were talking about the, and I don't want to put things into your mind. I'm just telling you, it just came to my mind. Um, when you're talking about signing up for that program with the government and so that you can understand if there's anything going on,
00:22:13
Speaker
Man, I could see you being some sort of international ambassador. Oh yeah. That's definitely crossed the mind. Really? Yeah. It takes a lot of, a lot of work though. Like, well, if there's somebody who could do it, it would be you. Not that I'm against work, but that is a whole process. A whole process. I would love to travel for my job though. A hundred percent.
00:22:38
Speaker
The sky's the limit. And knowing that there are ups and downs that happen and that you realize that, you're already ahead of the game.
00:22:50
Speaker
It's just, I've told you so many times, I'm in awe of what you have done, what you continue to do. You're an inspiration. You're an inspiration, not only for me and for others that are listening, but for my girls. I want them to not feel held back.
00:23:10
Speaker
to, and I think that that is a big thing for parents too, to be able to say like, and I know that we could talk all about your parents and saying how they, you know, were there for you every step of the way, but to, to be there for our kids and their dreams and help support it. And then of course, yeah, I can go cry in the closet. They don't need to know about that and I can tell them later, but like I just,
00:23:36
Speaker
That's important too. Not only is that a great thing for you as an individual, but for us parents to know and see like, it's okay. It's okay to let them go. It's okay to let them mess up. It's okay to let them figure it out and
00:23:55
Speaker
I don't know. I don't know when the next time you'll be on, but I guarantee that it'll be something amazing. So thank you for sharing your story. And I mean, you have to keep us updated. Oh, I will. Okay. Well, thank you, Audrey. And like we talked about at the very beginning, if you didn't hear episode 28,
00:24:14
Speaker
And that's a great episode to hear your perspective of being a Christian your whole life, going to a private school and then a public school. And that's like a whole thing here in the Midwest. And then just hearing where you are and being honest and open with your faith life. So listen to episode 28 and come back because you'll never know what you're going to get from Audrey. Good luck with everything. Thank you.