Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
87: Taking A Gap Year (Part 1)
160 Plays2 years ago
Welcome to a New Year and a new season of Normal Goes A Long Way! In this New Year, Jill would like to challenge you to embrace the uncomfortable in 2024 and see how it provides growth in your life.
Our Season 6 debut begins with Audrey Fleetwood. Audrey is no stranger to the podcast. She’s the daughter of Laura Fleetwood, Jill Devine’s spiritual mentor, and Audrey was on Episode 28: Two Public High School Students Discuss Their Faith Walk.
Jill invited Audrey back on the podcast to discuss Audrey’s decision to get uncomfortable and take a gap year.
From Wikipedia:
A gap year, also known as a sabbatical year, is a period of time when students take a break from their studies, usually after completing high school or before beginning graduate school. During this time, students engage in a variety of educational and developmental activities, such as traveling, working, volunteering, or taking courses. Gap years are not limited to a year-long break and can range from several months to a few years.
Normal Goes A Long Way Website: https://www.normalgoesalongway.com/
Normal Goes A Long Way Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/normalgoesalongway/
Normal Goes A Long Way Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Normal-Goes-A-Long-Way-110089491250735
Normal Goes A Long Way is brought to you by Messiah St. Charles: https://messiahstcharles.org/
Two Kids and A Career: https://www.jilldevine.com/podcast
Recommended
Transcript
Podcast Introduction and Focus
00:00:00
Speaker
The following podcast is a Jill Devine Media production. Christianity has become known for judgy people, strange words, ancient stories, confusing rules, and a members-only mindset. This is why I stayed away from the church for so long, but it's not supposed to be that way. I'm Jill Devine, a former radio personality with three tattoos, a love for a good tequila, and who's never read the entire Bible.
00:00:24
Speaker
Yet here I am hosting a podcast about faith. The normal goes a long way podcast is your home for real conversations with real people using real language about how faith and real life intersect. Welcome to the conversation. Welcome to a new year and a new season of normal goes a long way. I'm your host Jill Devine. And you know, we've had these different themes for the seasons and I don't necessarily know that I have
00:00:54
Speaker
a theme, so to speak, on this season, season six. But the stories will continue. I mean, that's what it's all about, the stories and hearing people walk through their faith journey, whether they're newbies or they've been in it forever like our pastors.
Reintroduction of Audrey Fleetwood
00:01:11
Speaker
But I just want to continue that because you can see faith everywhere and in different ways. And so I invited a repeat guest
00:01:21
Speaker
So Audrey Fleetwood, hello. How are you? I'm good. Let's go back to how you first came about this podcast. First of all, your mom is Laura Fleetwood, one of the other hosts here. She is my spiritual mentor. And you were on episode 28. That aired in July of 2022.
00:01:44
Speaker
And the title was Two Public High School Students Discuss Their Faith Walk. And so we won't get into all that. If somebody wants to hear how that works, what your background is, go ahead and listen to episode 28. But July 2022, that was the summer going into your senior year? Yes. OK, so a lot has happened since your senior year. For sure. And one of the things that
00:02:11
Speaker
I admire about you. I don't want to call you an old soul because you're not an old soul, but you are definitely mature. Does that label bother you or affect you or make you feel like you have to do certain things or not do certain things?
00:02:31
Speaker
No, I've gotten that label pretty much my whole life. You know, people say I was 13 going on 30 and all that stuff, but I've always appreciated it because I've always wanted to do things that kids my age probably
00:02:46
Speaker
couldn't do or shouldn't be doing. And so I just always had these ambitions that I felt like were older than my age. So when people told me I seemed more mature, it made me feel like I could actually do those things at a younger age. Like it kind of validated your feelings, so to speak. All right. And how old are you right now?
Breaking Away from Traditional Expectations
00:03:03
Speaker
19. Okay. 19.
00:03:04
Speaker
So one of the things that I feel, and you're going to definitely be able to provide some perspective on this, but where we live in the St. Louis area, we live in suburbs outside of St. Louis, but especially this Midwest idea is you go to school, you graduate high school, you go to college,
00:03:30
Speaker
you meet the love of your life in college, right out of college, you get married, you get that house with the white picket fence, you have kids you live happily ever after. Oh, and the career that you have is the career that you keep for the rest of your life. And I had talked about this on my other podcast, Two Kids in a Career with Someone, like
00:03:53
Speaker
The idea that someone could jump around from job to job to job has been like a bad thing when really it's not a bad thing.
00:04:06
Speaker
I sort of broke the mold when it was, I did go to college right from graduating, but I started at a junior college and then transferred to a university. And then I didn't even meet my husband until I'm gonna, it was 2010.
00:04:26
Speaker
And so we didn't get married until I was 36. And the common question that we both got was, is this your second marriage? Oh, wow. Yeah. And so then I've been very open and honest on the other podcast that I am the advanced maternal age parent. I am 46 and I have a seven and a five year old. And that's not the norm. However,
00:04:53
Speaker
It's starting to be a little bit more prevalent, especially other areas that's like, I can't believe she's talking about this. This is not a big deal. I am bringing this up because in your situation, are you at a four year college? I am not.
00:05:15
Speaker
Oh, see, I already know this. But anyway, I want to walk through this because I think that this is super, super important, and especially talking to you off mic. Like, I know when I started at the junior college, I wanted to be a speech and theater teacher. And that completely switched when I, you know, I don't know, literally woke up one day and thought, okay, I want to be in radio.
00:05:44
Speaker
And so there's going to be changes along the way and it's time to embrace them. And so that's one of the reasons why I wanted you on, especially the new year always brings embrace and change and goals and whatever you want to call them. So I am using you as an inspiration story. Let's talk about your senior year of high school. What was the thought process? What were you looking to do next?
Choosing a Gap Year and Travel Plans
00:06:14
Speaker
Yes, so this actually goes a little further back than my senior year. But in my sophomore year, I decided I was going to take a gap year after high school. So throughout high school, I worked and saved. My parents said, you can do whatever you want as long as you pay for it. So that was kind of my ultimate goal. So by the time I got to senior year, all of my friends were applying to college. They had these next steps all planned out. And I was on a completely different path. I was saving up.
00:06:44
Speaker
my money to go to Europe and then Brazil. And I was super excited. Like I was just thriving my senior year because I knew I had so many adventures ahead of me. And I was soaking up all these last moments with my friends. And I knew we were about to experience totally different things, but I was just so excited the entire year. What, for those that don't know, is a gap year. A gap year is
00:07:12
Speaker
basically defined by four things. It's a year that you take off, you're not in school. And for me, this was between high school and college and you can work, you can learn, you can travel and you can volunteer. Those are kind of the four pillars of a gap year to make sure you get everything that you can out of it. I never even knew there were four pillars. I just thought you were just taking a year off.
00:07:38
Speaker
It's a legit thing. Okay. So you knew that you were going to take a gap year. You're saving your money. You know that you want to go to Europe and you want to go to Brazil. Who are you going to go with? So Europe was just me for the most part. Um, it ended up that my mom came over for a little bit. I had an aunt come over, but for the most part it was just me. And then Brazil, this whole gap year idea started because I have an uncle in the Navy.
00:08:06
Speaker
And my sophomore year, he got stationed in Brazil and he said, we're going to be in Brazil right when you graduate high school. Why don't you take a year off and come live with us? So that's kind of where the idea started from. All right. You went to, well, your adventure, your adventure started what month of 2023? September. And you got home when? November. And
00:08:35
Speaker
You're telling me, I already know, but you did this all on your own by saving money. And like, did you just do research? Did you just, I am just, this isn't something that adults do. And I mean, I know you're an adult, but I'm talking about like me, like how do I sit down and even begin to make that happen?
00:09:01
Speaker
yeah that's the crazy thing like i just kind of set my mind to it and like i never second guessed it so as soon as i decided i was like i'm gonna take a gap year i opened a savings account
00:09:13
Speaker
Every job I worked, I saved most of my money. You know, over three years, I was able to save a significant amount. And then I had a lot of time, so I would just kind of research places.
Solo Travel Experiences and Challenges
00:09:24
Speaker
I would be like, oh, England looks cool. I don't know. It was basically just, I saw a place that looked cool, or like, I was like, I have to go to Paris, you know, see the Eiffel Tower. So that got put on. And then I started looking at Airbnb's, because those were way cheaper than hotels, and I'm not a hostile girl.
00:09:42
Speaker
I can't stay in a place with a bunch of other people like I need my space So Airbnb was amazing. I was able to book that years in advance You actually can't book them till you're 18 though. So I had to wait on my birthday I actually booked all my airbnbs is like my birthday gifts to myself
00:10:01
Speaker
And yeah, it was honestly totally random just so then how do you even know? How you're getting from one place to the next and when you're gonna do it I mean was it literally like this is where I'm gonna start and this is where I'm gonna end and I want to make sure I get these places in between but like I'm thinking I have to have a map and I have to have a calendar and an itinerary and I need to know how I get to what
00:10:25
Speaker
Yeah, so definitely itineraries were made throughout the years. Those kind of all got thrown out the window, though, because I was like, I'm just going to go over. All my places were pre-planned out, like all the dates were preset. And I did end up changing some of those while I was actually over there. But it just kind of turned into like, OK, I'm going to start in England and then I'm going to go to Paris. And it was cheaper to take a train from England to Paris than to fly.
00:10:52
Speaker
And then I went from Paris to Italy and that was a long distance, so I flew. So it just kind of turned into convenience and money and I could book plane tickets in advance, but train tickets, I did not book in advance. I booked those once I got over there. How did you do this by yourself? I know you had family come over. Well, let me go back. I'm thinking about your mom.
00:11:16
Speaker
and me being a mom. Now I also know that I'm in the little stage. So I'm really paranoid right now. I'm like, no. I know that your mom is very like, she supports you girls and your adventures and loves the fact that you're doing this and that you are living life. Like that's what she would want you to do. I know she had some worrisome too, their reduction, but like,
00:11:45
Speaker
I'm just thinking about how that works and how do I send my baby off and wow. Yeah. So she had a lot of time to adjust to it. You know, I basically told her I was going to do it and her knowing me, she was like, she's actually going to do it. So she, she was mainly just excited for me. Like right before I left, I asked her, I was like, are you like worried? Like,
00:12:11
Speaker
Is this really affecting you? And she was like, obviously, you know, I want you to text me every day, like just to know you're alive. I ended up not actually doing that. But mainly she was just excited. The hardest part of the trip was when we were in Italy. So she was with me for the first three weeks of the trip. And then in Italy, the rest of my family came over for kind of a family vacation, which we never do, by the way. Like this was our first international vacation ever.
00:12:38
Speaker
but she was the last one to leave. And so we were at the bus stop and she was gonna leave me to be in Europe for five weeks by myself. And I was like, oh no, now I have to be in Europe for five weeks by myself. And so that was really sad. And I think she had a hard time when she got back, but she knew I was living my best life. And yeah, I think she was really just excited and happy and- All right, so five weeks, you're by yourself. Yes.
00:13:07
Speaker
How does that look? I mean, I am sure there's lots of highlights, but were there any, you know, low times where, did you get lonely? Did you get sad? Like how, how? Walk me through that. Yeah. So I really was not lonely. Like you would think, um, I'm kind of an introverted person as it is. So like I, I like to be with myself. I'm fine going out to eat by myself.
00:13:37
Speaker
And I spent a lot of time with myself for those five weeks. And it's not like, you know, it's not like I like found myself or like realized different things about me, but just having that time to like walk around a foreign city totally by yourself. I would put my AirPods in, I would have background music. And it was literally just like I was on this huge adventure and it was so exciting.
00:14:06
Speaker
The world was my oyster kind of thing. Like I was just there and there was no one else to have an itinerary with. I could just jump in this shop or hop on this boat or get on this plane. Like there was one time I was in Turkey. That was actually a really rough time. Um, but I wanted to leave Turkey and I was like, okay. So I booked, it was, it was 6 PM.
00:14:29
Speaker
I booked a flight for 6 a.m. the next day, got up at 3 a.m., left the hotel, got on a flight and left. Like, when you're by yourself, you can just do that kind of thing. Yeah, you can. Yeah. It definitely can. And it was crazy. It was also crazy, you know, this was my first time, like, living on my own, so I had to go buy groceries. Oh, yeah. And the stuff you don't really think about as an 18-year-old living at home or even at college, like, you have a meal plan.
00:14:57
Speaker
Like my next meal was totally up to me. I had to either go out and find it, or I had to have groceries. There was this one time in the mountains of Slovakia. No one spoke English. I was in this little mountain town, literally like in a valley between two mountains, and there was one general grocery store. And so my first day there, I walked to the grocery store, because it was Halloween weekend. I was like, I'm going to get some chili. I'm going to get a pumpkin. I'm going to have this cozy little atmosphere.
00:15:28
Speaker
Well, they didn't have many ingredients. So I ended up making chili with prego, summer sausage, and kidney beans. And let me tell you, it was actually edible. I don't know how this thing was edible. I survived off it for four days. And I even, I didn't have an oven, but they had some corn meal. So I made cornbread pancakes and ate that with my chili and they had a pumpkin. So I ended up carving a pumpkin.
00:15:53
Speaker
So sometimes I really was like living, I like to say in the trenches, like I would just had to survive off of what I had, but it was so fun. And I never really like got frustrated or angry. Like, cause I was by myself, I didn't have anybody else to worry about. So I was like, I'm fine with this. You know, I'll eat the summer sausage chili and I'll read my book and I'll look at the mountains and I was fine. Oh my God.
00:16:20
Speaker
Gosh, I have so many thoughts and questions and like, oh, okay. Can we go back to Turkey? Yes. What was the problem with Turkey? Yes. So the week before I went to Turkey, I was in Greece and that is when everything with Israel happened. So my parents were kind of on edge. They were like, you're going to be in Turkey, which actually borders Israel.
00:16:47
Speaker
I was in basically the middle of Turkey and Israel borders the south of Turkey. So it wasn't like I was gonna be super close. But I was in this program with the government, I forget what it's called, but if you're traveling internationally, you can sign up and they can give you alerts based on where you're staying. And I got an email saying, if you are an American in Turkey, keep a low profile,
00:17:17
Speaker
Basically like don't go to any popular places like basically keep to yourself get out as fast as you can and so I'm about to go to Turkey and This was mainly directed
Overcoming Challenges in Turkey
00:17:28
Speaker
at Istanbul, which was gonna be the second part of my turkey trip So I nixed Istanbul and I was like, okay, I'm just gonna stay in this one Turkish town for the entire week
00:17:38
Speaker
And I originally went to Turkey because they do sunrise hot air balloon rides, every sunrise. And it's like 75 hot air balloons all at once during sunrise. And it sounded so magical. So I was like, I have to go. So I went to this town called Cappadocia.
00:17:55
Speaker
and I went solely for the hot air balloons and I was staying in a hotel slash Airbnb like the owner it was a small hotel so the owner just had it listed on Airbnb and he was super nice um so I checked in that first night and then my first day there I actually went hiking the only problem was I had absolutely no cellular connection oh so this this is the
00:18:20
Speaker
probably the dumbest thing I did on this entire trip, but I downloaded a Google map, like onto my phone so that I could see where I was, but I couldn't get directions anywhere. So I just kind of had to look and use it like a legit map. And then I walked 40 minutes to this valley. There's tons of valleys around and this landscape in Turkey was unlike anything I had ever seen before. There are these rock formations and I guess you could think of it like, like kind of,
00:18:49
Speaker
stalagmites in a cave like they're pointy, but they're huge and They were hollow on the inside and people could actually live there. Oh Yeah, and so they were like these windows and doors on these like they called them like fairy houses. Oh, okay. I could yeah, okay Yeah, so I was just walking through this valley and it was like I don't know it was it was beautiful and I spent all day out there and
00:19:16
Speaker
But while I was walking around, you know, I would occasionally run into somebody selling something or, um, there were a lot of men walking around. And especially when I was walking to and from this Valley, it was this long road, literally a 40 minute walk, but just on a straight road lined with vendors. Oh, wow. Yeah. And as I was a blonde,
00:19:40
Speaker
19 year old girl walking by myself There were a lot of comments made I got called Shakira a lot That was it was like, okay. Have a nice life Shakira. It's like, okay Honestly, that was like my tipping point. I have been dealing with these men all day. I would walk by they would try to sell me something I would say no, they would insult me cuss me out. Whatever I would keep walking it would happen again I was just so done and then one guy called me Shakira and I just broke down and
00:20:08
Speaker
Like I got back to my hotel room and I was like, I can't. So even though I had had this magical day, like hiking, it was basically ruined. And then I looked back and I was like, I really shouldn't have been out there without cellular service. Like there was no way for me to even call anybody if I had needed to.
00:20:25
Speaker
So then I had this realization and my hot air balloon ride was the next morning. So I was like, okay, I'm going to do that. That's what I came here to do. So I did it. It was magical. It was so amazing. I had never been in a hot air balloon before. No, me neither. It was so cool. Um, but then I was done with that and I was like, okay, now what I'm like, what am I going to do? So for the next two or three days, I literally just sat in my hotel room. Um,
00:20:50
Speaker
and it got to the point like there was this guy who would do these chants through a megaphone and I could hear that out my window like at sunrise and sunset like whenever it was dark so there's this like creepy chanting going on there were so many strays in the streets and I am such an animal person like when I see an animal that's struggling like that hits me so hard so there were these starves dogs I could hear dog fights out my window
00:21:17
Speaker
the people I couldn't even walk five minutes to go get some Thai food without being harassed by some men. And so I was just at the point I was like, I still have four days left. And I was like, I like, no, I can't even leave my hotel room. So I texted my mom and she was like, if you want to leave leave. So that's when I bought the ticket and left and the guy who owned the hotel was super nice. He gave me a refund.
00:21:42
Speaker
I lost some money because of all my flights and stuff, but it was totally worth it because I just, I couldn't do it anymore. I mean, you're on this, I guess that's the beauty of life and also the sadness of life. You're on this amazing venture and then you have to walk in the uck for a minute. And it just reminds you that there's
00:22:07
Speaker
It's not perfect. Yes. And that's got to be hard and scary too. Yes. Yeah. That was the only time that I was actually like, I was like, okay, I'm not fully safe here. Like that was the only time I ever felt anything other than complete peace walking around a city.
00:22:25
Speaker
And I would think that if I was your mom or dad, I would definitely, especially with everything that was happening and starting to ramp up, I would be like, bye, you need to go. Yeah, they were like, leave, leave as soon as possible. Okay, so.
00:22:44
Speaker
You know, we're in this new year, like I said, some people like to have goals, they have, you know, resolutions, they have different
Lessons Learned from Travel
00:22:53
Speaker
things. I personally, I am one of those individuals who's like, okay, January is a great reset, refresh. And that's kind of what I want to get into next. There's a couple of things I want to get into. I want to talk about, you know, your faith. Obviously, this is a faith podcast.
00:23:14
Speaker
And I know I don't ever want to force things, but I want to hear your perspective on some of that as well. But I also want to talk about these lessons that you learned. I want to talk about what we need to do as adults to get outside of our comfort zone, to actually, if we're planning everything out and we're saying we want to do this, we want to do that,
00:23:44
Speaker
How do we do it? So I'm going to hit pause on this. We're going to put them in suspense. I'm going to hit pause on this episode. Come back and join us for the next episode. And we're going to get into the real serious stuff. All right. Sound good? Perfect. OK.