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Finding Meaning in Quarantine with Guest Rachel Nielson {Episode 66}
74 Plays5 years ago
Welcome back! We're thrilled to bring you a very special guest today: Rachel Nielson, host of the super successful podcast 3 in 30: Takeaways for Moms.
Rachel helps tens of thousands of mothers every week feel confident and joyful in their attempts at motherhood and we loved hearing firsthand from her wisdom. Today she's taking us inside her own motherhood journey during this time of stress and quarantine due to the COVID-19 epidemic.
We know you'll appreciate her loving and gentle suggestions, just as much as we do.
You can find Rachel on any podcast app by searching "3 in 30" as well as on her website and on Instagram @3in30podcast.
Rachel's Takeaways
1. Don't judge yourself. Stay curious about your thoughts and motivation.
2. Do what you love with your kids. Explore everyone's strengths.
3. Set timers to help with focus and setting time boundaries.
Dr. Jennifer Finlayson Fife was mentioned as one of Rachel's favorite mentors.
Never miss another episode by subscribing to our weekly email HERE!
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Transcript
Introduction to Rachel Nielsen and Her Podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome back, friends. You are listening to Outnumber the Podcast, episode number 66. To date, we are thrilled to have joined us Rachel Nielsen of the ever-popular parenting podcast, 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms. Rachel is also a mother of two darling children, and today she's going to be sharing with us her down-to-earth and real-life advice regarding finding meaning in this strange time of stress and quarantine. We loved interviewing her, and she had so many wonderful nuggets of wisdom. We can't wait for you to listen.
00:00:35
Speaker
Hello and welcome to Outnumber the Podcast. I'm Bonnie. And I'm Audrey. We're experienced moms to a combined total of 18 children. Our mission is to help overwhelmed parents find peace in parenting and humor in the chaos. Come join us as we attempt uninterrupted conversation about parenting with joy and intention. Okay, so hello and welcome back. We are absolutely
00:01:04
Speaker
Breathless with excitement to have with us Rachel Nielsen of the three and 30 podcast today and welcome Rachel Thank you so much. I am so excited to be here Yeah, so we just like we share start most of our guest episodes. We would love to have Rachel share a funny mom moment with us I think this is really telling That we're all on the same boat when we can share these moments. So go ahead
00:01:27
Speaker
Well, and you asked me before the interview to think of something. And so I've been thinking, and I actually decided to share one from my own mother with raising me, if that's okay. Because now that I'm a mom myself, I'm like, this is all the more hilarious. So when I was in middle school, I could not get out of bed in the morning. I'm still that way. And I miss the bus so much that my mom
00:01:55
Speaker
told me she wouldn't drive me anymore. So she's like, I've fought you about it. I've tried everything. If you don't, if you miss the bus, you're going to have to figure it out. And one day I indeed missed the bus yet again. And I was so afraid to go home and tell her that I'd missed the bus again that I threw rocks at my little sister's window until she woke up. And then I just, I still remember her opening the blinds and looking out and her little face, like her jaw dropped.
00:02:24
Speaker
And she opened the window and I said, bring me a phone and my piggy bank. And so she said she came downstairs, came outside, brought me my little tootsie roll piggy bank and the cordless phone. And I called a taxi to take me to school.
00:02:39
Speaker
And I lived in Littleton, Colorado, so it's not a big city. You don't see taxis around, but a taxi came to pick me up. And of course, at that moment, my mom looked out the window right as I hopped into the taxi and went up to my little sister and said, is there something you need to tell me about Rachel?
00:03:03
Speaker
And so anyway, she called the school and said, just have Rachel call me when she gets there so I know she's safe. And she told me, I'm proud of you for figuring out, but you have to tell me if you're going to take a taxi to school. So so that's my funny mom moment. And I did take a taxi probably two more times that school year when I missed the bus.
Rachel's Life and Podcast Journey
00:03:24
Speaker
That is hilarious.
00:03:27
Speaker
So the question is, do you remember how much it cost? Yeah, I remember well, and this is just an added layer to the story. I have never had a good sense of direction. And so I couldn't tell the cab driver how to get to my school. And that was before GPS and all of that. And he ended up getting lost. And so I was watching like the meter going up and going up and going up. And I had no idea where we were. But once it hit like $18, which was all I had from babysitting,
00:03:56
Speaker
I said, well, this, I don't have any more money. So just drop me off here and I'll figure it out and I'll get there. And this poor taxi driver was like, I am not going to leave a 12 year old girl in the middle of, he's like, it's okay. And he called, he had to call back to the terminal to figure out where my school was. And he drove me there and I just gave him all the money I had, which didn't even cover the tab.
00:04:20
Speaker
So yeah, I don't remember what it ended up being, but he got $18 for that tax return. That is like the best story ever. It just gets better.
00:04:29
Speaker
Yeah, so anyway. I appreciate that. Yes. That is so good, Rachel. We'd like you to tell us a little about yourself. Well, your current day self, not your 12 year old self. Yes. And your family and your kids and what you do for work. And, and I'm sure everyone is familiar with the three and 30 podcasts, but tell, give us a little background.
00:04:53
Speaker
Yeah, so I am still not a morning person. And I live in Haley, Idaho, which is right outside of Sun Valley in the mountains. And we love it. And I have two kids. They're both I call them my miracle babies because Noah's adopted and Sally was conceived with IVF.
00:05:12
Speaker
And I was a high school English teacher before my kids were born and then decided to stay home with them. And I really missed teaching. So about five years into stay at home motherhood, I decided to start a podcast as an outlet to teach. And so my show is three and 30 takeaways for moms in each
00:05:31
Speaker
30 minute episode has three actionable takeaways and I love doing it. It's brought so much more fulfillment to my life generally and to my motherhood as I've been able to talk to so many great experts and learn and grow. So it's been such a great experience.
00:05:48
Speaker
That's so awesome. And we both totally recognize that feeling of fulfillment that comes from having a passion project, especially when you're stuck at home with little kids.
The Role of Passion Projects for Fulfillment
00:05:58
Speaker
We love our kids, but it's very difficult to find fulfillment in those day in, day out of changing diapers and being the only adult. So we love that you found that.
00:06:08
Speaker
Yeah, and for sure I feel like it's so important for women to use their gifts, whatever their gifts are, and I love to teach. And I feel so fulfilled and happy when I do it because I do think it's one of my gifts. And I found that in those early motherhood years,
00:06:24
Speaker
A lot of what I was doing was not tapping into my innate gifts. And so at the end of every day, I just felt really depleted. And so adding back in a little piece of what I'm naturally good at, what comes easily to me, has been a game changer for motherhood for me.
00:06:43
Speaker
I love that you mentioned that. I think so many of us put aside who we really are as people to become moms because our kids need so much from us. And yet I really think we do ourselves a disservice by not adding in those things that really fulfill us like you've done. So that's awesome.
00:06:57
Speaker
Yeah, and of course you can teach as a mom, but especially when they were little, I couldn't have like deep conversations with them. And now I feel like the stage they're in, I am having more fulfillment in the innate jobs that come with my everyday motherhood, but I wasn't finding that when they were really little. So I do feel like every stage, like different moms love different stages, you know? So that's, I'm really enjoying this elementary school age that they're at now.
00:07:27
Speaker
Oh, wait till they get to teenagers. You're really going to enjoy that one, too. Everybody talks about how horrible it is, but it's so fun. It really is. I hope. I think I will, too, because like I said, I was a high school teacher. I've always loved teenagers. So I hope that they will be nice to me when my kids are teenagers for the most part and that we can have a good relationship. I'm looking forward to that.
00:07:50
Speaker
So we would love to know a little bit more about why you began 3 and 30 and specifically why podcasts. Would you feel like you were led to that form of content creation? Yeah, I really do. I feel like I spent all these years teaching teenagers and young adults how to take complicated big ideas and boil them down into thesis statements. And a lot of times my students' thesis is
00:08:18
Speaker
had three points not always but a lot of the time they did and so that is a skill set that i honed for a lot of years that i'm now using with my podcast taking like a big complicated motherhood topic and then boiling it down to kind of some thesis points and so
00:08:36
Speaker
That's how 3 in 30 came to be. I was looking for that type of a podcast as a podcast listener. And I just couldn't find anything that had these really defined actionable takeaways in it. And so I decided to create it. And I do feel like I was really led as far as like, I feel like it's a calling, it's a ministry, like my work where
00:09:02
Speaker
God approves
Tips for Finding Meaning During Quarantine
00:09:03
Speaker
of it. God led me to it to use my gifts in this way. And I think that's why it brings me so much fulfillment. And I've always loved to teach. So, you know, the auditory teaching, the podcast format is a really good fit for me.
00:09:18
Speaker
So because you're kind of the expert at this, um, three and 30 and boiling down three thoughts, we, we want to know from you, if you can give our listeners three tips or three takeaways for creating meaning during this time in quarantine, because I think a lot of people feel like it's all about survival. And if they just get through it, and that's true, we do just need to get through it. But we want your help with adding another layer to this time in quarantine.
00:09:48
Speaker
Yes, well I want to start off by saying that I don't feel like I've been like a rock star at this yet so far during this quarantine. We've had some unusual, my husband and I both got COVID-19 so we were recovering for a while and then we had an earthquake
00:10:06
Speaker
And it's just been kind of crazy. And I do, so I feel like what I, my tips that I have today are more like things that I want to do that I know will help me, but I haven't been perfect at doing them. So just like all the grace for all the mamas out there and everything that we're facing right now. And cause I think there's a part of me that's a little bit disappointed in myself. Like I'm like, this is such a unique,
00:10:31
Speaker
opportunity and time with my family that we're never going to get again. Hopefully we're never going to get into something like this again. And so Rachel, you're wasting it. You know, I can kind of start to go there when really it's like, just have compassion and grace for where you're at and then try to add a little bit more meaning in every day, which I do feel like is leads to my first takeaway about this is don't judge yourself.
00:10:54
Speaker
So if you want to create meaning during this time, just try to notice those judgmental thoughts that we, I think most of us kind of naturally have and stop yourself. And just when you start to think of like, oh, I should have done this differently. Why am I not maximizing my time with these kids more? Why didn't I do that? Why do I feel this way?
00:11:20
Speaker
I think sometimes we judge our emotions where we're like, why am I disappointed that my, our family trip got canceled when there's people in the world that are dying? You know, and so we start to kind of judge ourselves when it's like, just take a breath and refuse to judge yourself and just have a lot of compassion and grace during this quarantine time.
00:11:39
Speaker
Wow. That is really an amazing first tip, first takeaway. Like I can just have this little visual picture of you taking your finger and flicking. You know how you see those comics and there's an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other shoulder. So during this quarantine time.
00:11:55
Speaker
You're just taking your fingers and flicking that little devil out the back door, and you can open the door again when the quarantine's over. But until then, he's gone. Yeah. And hey, I say never open the door again. Yeah. True. Get him out of here for good.
00:12:10
Speaker
You know, what I was thinking about when you were saying that is just kind of the mental work that life coaches teach us to do, right? Where instead of thinking about your thought like, oh, why am I so angry about missing the family vacation when people are dying? That's a great example.
00:12:25
Speaker
And just thinking about that thought instead of immediately judging it, just thinking, huh, what does that say about me being curious? They say, right? What does it say about me that I'm disappointed about missing my family vacation? Well, it tells me that I really value my time with my family. It tells me that I really needed a break. It tells me that I'm concerned about our
00:12:45
Speaker
finances because we had this money and maybe we lost some whatever. So I just love that to just sit with those thoughts and explore them and be curious and figure out what that says about you rather than jumping down your own throat. Yeah, I do feel like curiosity is kind of the antidote to judgment. So rather than noticing a feeling that you have and judging it, just notice it and get curious about it and have just compassion for yourself around it.
00:13:15
Speaker
Yes, definitely. That's such a good one. OK, give us another one. OK, so my second takeaway, and this is something that I know that you ladies really teach, is do what you love with your kids. That is going to make this time so much more meaningful than if you're trying to do the quarantine a certain way that maybe you feel like you should be doing it based on what your school district is telling you or what other moms on Instagram are doing.
00:13:44
Speaker
stop, like kind of loosen your grip a little bit and just do what you love with them. And that's kind of a little epiphany that I had last night where I was thinking, why does this feel so hard? Why isn't this more fun?
00:14:00
Speaker
And I thought, well, because I'm not doing the things that I love and I'm not allowing them to do the things that they love, I'm trying to force them to sit down and do school or do these different things. And so my husband and I sat down last night after the kids were in bed and I just asked him, because we're in a unique position too, where he's a pediatric dentist. So his office is closed right now. So he's here too.
00:14:25
Speaker
And I said, what do you love to do with the kids? And how can we work that in every single day? And his list of what he loves is different than what I love. But that's great, because he can go fishing with them, and then I can get some alone time. So I'm like, figure out what is going to make this time joyful. That's more important than making this time, quote, productive or perfect or look a certain way.
00:14:53
Speaker
Yeah, that's beautiful. I love that. And it really reminds you that you are your children's mother for a reason. You have unique passions and strengths and that you can communicate and pass on to your children that no other person can do. And I think so many moms forget that and think, well, I'm not this and I'm not that and I can't do this. But that doesn't matter because what you do have is essential for their wellbeing. So pass it on, you know? Yeah.
00:15:18
Speaker
And I have an episode on my show called how to accept the mother that you are instead of the mother that you thought you should be or would be. And there's some really concrete tips in that episode about figuring out what you offer and maximizing those things versus always trying to, self-improvement is good, but we shouldn't always be trying to build on our weaknesses. We should be taking our strengths and exploding those.
00:15:47
Speaker
amplifying those things in our lives.
00:16:03
Speaker
How are our kids when they're our age going to look back on this time? So like the perspective from the perspective of history. And if you're doing something with them that you love and working in your strengths with your kids,
00:16:18
Speaker
They're going to look back at that time with you and see you as just like shining through this time. Wow. Mom was just like a rock star. She was superstar. She carried us through that time when it could have been really hard or depressing or anything else because you were doing what you loved and that helped. And yes, you'll have days where you just want to curl up in a ball, in bed, in your pajamas. Got it. But the kids looking back. Yeah, they won't remember. They won't remember that. Yeah, that's exactly right.
00:16:48
Speaker
I mean, we all have such selective memory that I guarantee you your kids aren't gonna be dwelling on the times that you lost your temper and these other things. They're going to remember all the fun that they had during this time. They're somewhat oblivious to the hard stuff, which is such a gift, isn't it? That our kids aren't aware of kind of the hard, sad stuff that comes with this situation. They're pretty oblivious to that, and I'm so grateful for that. Okay, so we would love to hear your third takeaway.
00:17:18
Speaker
Okay, so this is something that I just tried for the first time this morning and I could feel such a difference. And I'm like, okay, using that, I'm gonna try to use that for the rest of the quarantine. And that is to set timers, to focus my attention and kind of put like boundaries around my time. So the way that I used it this morning was that my daughter really wanted me to play library with her.
00:17:46
Speaker
And I will admit that playing is really hard for me. I'm not really like a get on the floor imagination player. I'm naturally way more productive, like a productivity driven person more than a play person, which I don't necessarily love that about myself. But we get you with you. Yeah.
00:18:05
Speaker
And I'm just like, again, stop judging yourself, Rachel. It's OK if you don't love to play. But I found that when I kind of half-heartedly play out of guilt, I hate every second of it. Versus what I told my daughter is, I can play library for 15 minutes, but then I have to work. And she was OK with that. And I said, I'm going to set a timer and we're going to play hard. And then when it buzzes, I'm going to have to work.
00:18:31
Speaker
And I then leaned into that playtime with her because I knew it was going to end. I didn't feel resentful. I felt like, okay, I promised her this and I'm going to give it to her. And the difference between when I played library with her last night
00:18:47
Speaker
When I was like, my mind was on my work, I was kind of annoyed. I was like, I just had so much more, I had a much more enjoyable experience this morning with it because I was present and focused on what I was doing. And so I'm hoping that through this quarantine, I can just use more timers with my kids and say, okay, we're going to do this for 15 minutes, then mom's going to go work for an hour or whatever it might be to sort of have boundaries around my time and my focus.
00:19:15
Speaker
That sounds like such a sanity saver. And it goes back to something we were discussing on the episode of the podcast that we did with you yesterday. Yeah, on my show. Yeah, on your show about making the one on one time or the time that you spend with your kids meaningful in a way that is meaningful to them. So for your daughter, it's much more meaningful. It connects with her better when you play and throw yourself into it for 15 minutes.
00:19:45
Speaker
than if you play with her for two hours and you're not in it. You're not there for her mentally. It's much more meaningful. So that, yeah, making it meaningful for them is an excellent tip for, and if that means timers, do it.
00:20:02
Speaker
Yeah and I do feel like this tip kind of it brings in well that first takeaway was it the first one no it was the second one that I said about doing what you love with your kids. I feel like this takeaway kind of brings together the idea that but also do what they love but with respect for your own limits and boundaries so
00:20:25
Speaker
Because I'm like, I want to also do what they love at times, but I can respect that it doesn't have to be for hours. I can still have my things and my passions, and using timers and having some kind of containers around when we do things can make it so that all of our needs are met.
00:20:46
Speaker
Yeah, that is so brilliant. And I think it's interesting that you specifically said timers because not only does it put boundaries around the things that you might not love doing, but it can around the things that you do love doing. So let's say you like to get caught up in social media, even though we have an excuse of, I have to be on social media for my business. So you're on, but you could create a boundary around that with a timer or even do the same thing for your kids in their schoolwork.
00:21:11
Speaker
my 10 year old, I guess my 10 year old and my 12 year old recently got on Amazon and bought themselves some timers. They just thought they wanted them for their schoolwork. And so they got these little $4 timers and they slapped them up on the fridge. And my 10 year old has been more productive in the last three days than she has been.
00:21:26
Speaker
in the last year because she times everything. And that's just how she, that's how she's motivated. I know that that doesn't necessarily work for every kid, but she's like, okay, by nine 30, I'm going to be down here. Teethbrush. I'm going, I've only been trying to tell you this for a year, but because the timer had, you know, my shower was nine minutes and 37 seconds. And then I came down, I'm going, bravo. Why didn't I buy a timer years ago? Right? So it really can be helpful to, like you said, create boundaries for what kids are expected, what, what we expect of our children.
00:21:54
Speaker
Yeah, and I love your point about boundaries for ourselves around the things we do love doing. Because I love working. I love doing my podcast. But I could get completely consumed by it and ignore and neglect my family. And that isn't aligned with my values either. And so it's hard to put a boundary around the things that I love. When that timer goes off, I don't want to stop a lot of the time. But it is kind of a little reminder.
Addressing Common Challenges for Moms
00:22:22
Speaker
audibly that I hear of like, live according to your values, Rachel, stop working and go be with your family. Right. I'm so glad you discussed this because I really needed to hear this today. And I think our audience is going to be loving it too. Well, good.
00:22:41
Speaker
So we have just two final questions we wanted to ask you because we feel like you can offer a unique perspective into what a lot of moms both struggle with and what their strengths are because you communicate with so many women on Instagram and through your podcast and have these amazing guests. So my first question is in this experience that you have, what do you feel like is the most common issue that so many moms struggle with? Could you boil it down to just one?
00:23:07
Speaker
It's hard to boil it down to just one, but as I thought about that question, I came down, I don't know if this is the most, but I think a very prevalent one is negative self-talk. So it's kind of interesting, we already talked about this already in the interview.
00:23:26
Speaker
I think many, many women struggle with this, and they may not even realize it. I feel like that's the thing is that we can't, Jennifer Finlayson Five, who's one of my favorite mentors, she says, you can't fix what you can't see. And so if it's just the way that we have always thought, and we kind of always have this internal dialogue going, we may not even realize how negative our self talk is, or how judgmental we can be of ourselves.
00:23:54
Speaker
And so it takes some level of awareness to just start to notice your thoughts and think, well, that's not a very nice thing to say. Or like, that's not something that I would ever say to my best friend or my children. Like, why am I saying that to myself? So I feel like I've worked really hard on overcoming negative self-talk. I've actually gone to counseling and like, I have some formal tools that I've used.
00:24:18
Speaker
So in a way I feel like, oh, that's not a problem for me anymore. But then with this quarantine, I'm like, all of a sudden I realized it may not be as vicious as it used to be, the self-talk, but like, I'm still judging myself. Like I told you, I'm still having these little sneaky negative thoughts of judgment that are not empowering me at all. So why am I letting those in? So I think just getting awareness around negative self-talk could help women to live with so much more joy.
00:24:47
Speaker
Wow, that's really good. I think I'm going to have you can't fix what you can't see tattooed on my forehead or something. Yeah, you can see it in the mirror. Oh, right. Yeah.
00:25:02
Speaker
I've also heard it described as like, you can't read a bottle from inside of it. You gotta get outside to be able to read the bottle. And so if you just start noticing, even if you don't yet know how to fix the thoughts, if you just start to notice them, like over time, they'll slowly start to shift because you're aware that they're there.
00:25:24
Speaker
Yeah. You know, one thing, one thought that helps me with negative self-talk is when I realize, you know, when I see it and see it's going on, recognize it, then I think, is this the way I would want my daughters to think about themselves? And, and I really don't. I want my daughters to be strong, healthy, positive thinkers. And so then I'll just kind of like, okay, stop. If you don't want them to think this way, then don't model it before them. Because I think it does come through in our actions and our manner.
00:25:53
Speaker
And that's one thought that helps me with that negative self-talk because I think you're right. Yeah. Well, and I feel like I am one of my, I don't know, one of my like gifts, I think is, um,
00:26:08
Speaker
reassuring people like I can pretty much like anybody could come to me with anything that they were feeling bad about themselves and I would be like that's not true like look at this reason like this is why this is happening and you're such a good mom and you're and it's not that I'm making that up I truly see that in them and I feel like I have a way of explaining to them why they're okay and yet sometimes I don't do that to myself you know and so I've lately I've been thinking
00:26:37
Speaker
if a friend brought this to me and said, I've done a terrible job with this quarantine and my kids are running wild. And I would say, oh, but look at everything you've had going on and you've been sick and give yourself grace and you can do better. You got this, you know? And so kind of talking to myself in that same comforting way, like actually using that as a tool to like stop and think, what would I tell a friend in this situation? And then telling myself that I think has been really helpful for me.
00:27:07
Speaker
I love that you said that. It reminds me of something my husband says sometimes if I get down on myself and I start complaining about, I didn't do this right or this frustrates me about myself. He will sometimes say, stop being mean to my wife.
00:27:22
Speaker
Because I see him standing up for me, right? Even to me. That's not okay. And I'm like, Oh, why can't we do that to our own selves? Like, Hey, stop talking bad about her. I love her. She's wonderful. Oh, that's brilliant. Stop being mean to my wife. I love it.
00:27:40
Speaker
Okay, so Rachel, you said that you see the good in other people. So that's a great segue into our last question. What do you feel is most moms greatest strength and what we can focus on? Yeah, I think most moms greatest strength is that they love their kids.
00:28:01
Speaker
And really, that is the only thing that matters. So like when I try to get women to define what a good mom is, because women will say like, I don't feel like a good mom or I want to be a good mom. And I'll say, well, define that for me. What is a good mom?
00:28:19
Speaker
And sometimes they'll have a long list of like, she's organized, she has a routine, she has a whatever. And I'm like, no, no, no. Like a good mom is a mom who loves her kids and does her best. And like, if that's the definition of a good mom, most women in this world are good moms, you know, like almost all.
Strengthening Bonds Through Relationship Repair
00:28:43
Speaker
And so I just feel like that
00:28:45
Speaker
That just gives me so much relief when I'm like wondering if I'm a good mom. Like, well, do I love my kids and do I try my best? Even if my best looks different every day and sometimes my best is a lot better than other times. Like, I do love my kids and I am trying every day. So I'm a good mom. And that is true for 100% of the women that I've gotten to know for my podcast and in my workshops. They love their kids.
00:29:12
Speaker
That's so beautiful. And just think about how this opportunity of staying home can really distill that for us, right? There's no opportunity to give your kids extracurricular activities or play dates or eating out or all these things that we kind of classify as the fun mom or the good mom. There's just you and there's just the kids. Sometimes that's maddening, but also what really comes through is your love for them and just that you're here for them during this scary time, whether you get to the math worksheets or not.
00:29:40
Speaker
You're there. And when they need you, they know where to find you because you're always there. Yeah. And I feel like a really key component to love is asking for forgiveness. So it doesn't mean that you're never going to yell at them or you're never going to make mistakes. Like love is going to them and saying, I really messed that up. I'm sorry that I talked to you like that. That's not how I want to treat the people that I love the most. Can I try again? Will you forgive me? You know?
00:30:07
Speaker
So we are all going to have low days, hard days, times when we yell during this quarantine time. But if we can come back to the love and just keep asking for forgiveness and trying again, John Gottman teaches that repair is the most repair of a relationship, builds a relationship more than anything else.
00:30:30
Speaker
So when you mess up and you go back and you repair, just think, wow, we really strengthened our relationship today. And it's so true. Think about like those people that you've had to work through things with are often the people that you love the most fiercely because of the history that you have with them.
00:30:47
Speaker
That is so true because you've been vulnerable with them and they've seen you not at your best and they still love you and they're still there with you. And not just because they have to be quarantined with you, but because they love you and they're there.
00:31:05
Speaker
Yes, totally. So again, that's a little mindset shift of being nicer to yourself instead of thinking, I yelled at my kids again, I'm such a screw up. I'm a bad mom. Just thinking, I gave us the opportunity to really build our relationship today because I messed up and I and I went and asked forgiveness and look, our relationship is stronger than ever.
Conclusion and Farewell
00:31:27
Speaker
Well, Rachel, it has been such a pleasure to have you on the podcast today. And we want you to tell our listeners where they can find you on the web because if they haven't already listened to every back episode, they need to go do it right now.
00:31:42
Speaker
Oh, thank you. Yeah. So my, again, my, my show is called three and 30 takeaways for moms. And that's the number three I N three zero. And, um, you can find me on Instagram or in any podcast app. And I just love what I do. So come on over and listen. Yes. Thank you so much for joining us. We have really, really appreciated your wisdom and can tell that you have really been called to helping moms. And we're, we appreciate you sharing it with us today. Thank you so much for having me on.
00:32:11
Speaker
If you'd like to hear more of our conversation with Rachel, we also did an episode on her podcast, 3 and 30 Takeaways for Mom. It's episode number 125, three tips for the accidental homeschooling mom. So be sure to hop over to her podcast and listen to our episode there as well. Thanks so much for tuning in. Did you know you can help the podcast in several ways? First up, we're on Patreon and there are three different levels to support us there.
00:32:34
Speaker
Just head to patreon.com slash outnumbered. Next step, if you enjoyed this episode, please leave us a written review on iTunes. It helps other parents find the podcast and receive the help you're enjoying. And finally, you can follow us on Instagram at outnumbered the podcast. We're always having fun over there too. As usual, if you have any questions or ideas for future episodes, you can reach us at outnumbered the podcast at gmail.com. Thanks for all your support. We'll talk to you next week.