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WTF news- well if that dont make you say WTF
15 Plays1 month ago
On Tonight Show Blaze brings a new segment called what the fax along with news stories
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Transcript
00:00:29
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Thank
00:01:29
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We'll be right back.
00:01:49
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Thank
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Thank you.
00:02:59
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Timing.
Intro and Network Promotions
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Welcome everybody to What the Fuck News. It is Wednesday. Your hair looks really weird, dude. You need a haircut. Jesus. You look like a rag and a doll. You look like a rag and a doll. I just got out of the shower. I'm just letting it be all natural. I'm getting in touch with my emo side. Ah, I see. But yeah, we are live. It's not a face, Jeff. It's a lifestyle. Halloween's still going on, is it, everybody? It is. But yeah, you can follow us at bio.link slash Nonsensical Network and find all our shows, including Speedway Stories and Cold-Bloody Conversations and Men Caring for Men on Mondays. Tuesdays is Glick's House of Music. Wednesdays is this show, What the Fuck News. Every other Thursday is Cash's Corner where they talk some rasslin'. Fridays is Nonsense and Chill. We're watching a new movie this week.
Open Door Challenge & Technical Issues
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We're going to be watching The Great Outdoors. Amazing movie. Saturdays, Nonsensical Nonsense, The Open Door Challenge. We're going to be doing it a little bit different this week, but basically the same thing. Sunday's Unnecessary Roughness in a case like Jeff's Garage. How you doing, buddy? What are we doing different this week? Oh, you got to subscribe in order to comment this week. Oh, yeah, that's right. I forgot what to talk about. Yeah, Chaka's taught us some new things, so we're going to take advantage of them because I made the executive decision because somebody stepped down from doing all the stuff he did. No, I didn't. I did not. I stepped down from two shows. Yeah. So. I said, Saturday's not one of them. And I'm still having issues with that eight-hour episode you did on, we did on Saturday. For some reason, it doesn't want to load in. It doesn't want to load into my. No, like it, it, I was telling Blaze about it.
00:05:03
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Uh, when I go to put it, the, put the file into my audio splitter, it won't load. It like takes too long. And then the computer goes, yeah, it's taking too long. We're giving up. And so I have to fuck with it, but I'll get it eventually. I was going to share tonight's show out on Facebook, but apparently our host doesn't know how to do that. I actually already did it. Where'd you share it to? Everywhere, including X. Did you share it to the network page? I have to be able to sign into the network. No, you don't. You just have to go. No, for some reason, it won't let me post on the network page, oddly enough. You should be able to click on... Should be. Well, if you... I don't know if you can see it or not, but up in your right-hand corner, there's a little circle with three lines. Yeah. If you click on that, you can... But I did share it out. I shared it out. If you go to my homepage, you go to my homepage, I shared it out in like 15 seconds. Don't worry if you're on the network page. We don't give a fuck about you guys. I shared it out to the network page as well, too. When I shared out to the groups, the network page is one of them. That is the nonsensical nonsense fan page. That is not the network page. Somebody does a network page. So I do. I post every show there. Well, I know. So I don't know who that somebody is. No, the network page, you should be able to click on that little circle and swap back and forth between the pages. But you have to be on that page in order to share. You guys are a lost fucking cause without me. You better figure out how to get on there. It's the last time I'm sharing on there for a show I don't host. Nice fucking thumbnail. You like that? You like the thumbnail? I made that. I made that using Chaka's... Yeah, you sent it to me the other night. I like that one. Yeah, I saw that. And then, of course, I added the logo to it. I was just kind of playing with it. I played with it a lot that night. I made you something, buddy. I made you something just for you. I don't even think I showed you yet. But I made you something for you. I actually have two of them. Here's one of them. Because I think I can only put two things on here at once. But I made you this. Oh, yeah. You sent me those. I like that. Yeah. And then I got this. Well, I have another one that I didn't show you. Because it's supposed to be you. But what do you think of that one? Yeah, you sent too did i i wasn't even drunk i was just i the uh talk and i were talking about prompts and he he gave me a couple prompts that he uses and stuff like that and because the first couple ones i made were really kind of, I was just, I made one, I put, I was doing one for the nonsensical nonsense. And I put a chubby bearded guy and a tattooed little guy in a nut house. And I kid you not, what it sent me is this. It's not terrible, but it actually, if you see, nuts are hanging in the background. Yeah, you sent me that one too, and I was like, what the hell is going on there? You have to actually put asylum in order to get something better. I was like, well, words matter. Fucking hell. But I got a new segment on Bring It Tonight. Because I started watching a show that we kind of have to talk about. So I'm going to watch it so you don't have to. Why do we have
00:09:06
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well because if you look at your scroll yeah florida
Odd Requests and Bizarre Tasks
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manm i'm gonna i'm gonna eventually i'm gonna i'm actually gonna going to eventually watch so the first episode
00:09:21
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It's got like real actors. Well, it's got, you know, actually I have a photo from the first episode here. This is the main actor to talk about it? from the first episode and the girl actor from the first episode. Basically, his character is a real techno geek. Like he likes to go to techno concerts of this specific DJ. And he decides, he finds out that there's going to be a special concert. It's one night only, but it's halfway across the fucking country. And he does the math and he's like, it's going to cost, I don't have the money to get there. So this being several years ago, he went on to Craigslist and he put in it out an ad that said, I will do anything for money. And he got weird requests. Of course, somebody was like, will you let me fuck your wife? And he's like, yeah, I don't have a wife. Calm down. Will you watch me fuck your wife? Can I see you in the restroom? Yeah, go ahead. The second request he got, he was talking about, it was like, would you fuck my wife while I watched? And he was like, yeah, no, that's just too weird. And then he got a message after about 15 creepy ones that he was like, yeah, I can't help you out there, dude. I'm not doing that. Somebody sent him a message and the guy's name was Steve. And Steve sent him, I want you to help me fulfill my fantasy. Nothing sexual. I was like, yeah, that's sketchy. So he's like, okay, I'm game. What do you got? And he says, I want you to come over, cut off my toes and cook them and eat them while I watch. And he thinks about about it it. and And he he says, says, okay. okay. Cause Because I I gotta got to go, go. you He know, sees he sees dollar signs. And the video, they show another actor that you would instantly know if you saw him. But I have no idea what his name is. And he's kind of talking on the phone or typing while he's talking. And he's real creepy-like. He's like, I want you to cut off my toes and eat them. So he says, okay, I'm down. Give me an address and a date. He says, well, could you bring a friend, preferably female, so it's not so weird. He's like, wait, alone makes it weird? Okay. So he says, So he calls up his friend. She's a cheerleader for the Lakers or some basketball team. I don't remember what team, but she's a good-looking girl. And he says, will you come with? And she's like, and they've known each other as long as you and I have kind of thing. You know, high school friends and all that stuff. She's like, all right, dude, let's go. So they get over there, and as they're getting ready to knock on the door, they walk up down the driveway and there's one way in and that same way out. There's no other exits in this house. And they're like, oh, red flag. And as they're walking up the driveway, he's saying to her, he's like, you know, I guarantee you this guy is like super creepy and super weird and, you know, we're in his mom's basement and he opens the door and that's who it is. Oh, nice. So he opens the door and he's like, nice guy, well-dressed. House is perfectly clean. Nice furniture. Real nice place. And he's like, are you Steve? Are we in the right fucking house? He's like, yeah, you're whatever the guy's name was. He's like, okay. So they go in and the NBA finals are on. And the only reason this girl's not a cheerleader at the moment is because she had hurt her knee. So she's in a boot. Because she twisted her ankle or something like that. So she's in a boot. And the NBA finals are on. And he's like, you guys want a beer? And they're like, yeah, I guess it'll take the edge off. So they sit down on the couch and they watch the NBA finals. And Steve gets up and goes over. And you know those doggy pee pads that you buy when you have a new puppy? So it doesn't piss on the carpet. He lays out one of those and a brand new kitchen knife. And gauze and a bunch of antiseptics and all that stuff and numbing cream. And he says, he says, whenever you're ready. And he's like, well, you know, okay. So it gets up and he grabs a knife and he's looking at it. It's brand new. It's super sharp. And he says, I'm going to count to three. And Steve says, well, wait, wait, wait. We need to have safe word. Just in case I check it out at the last second. What's the safe word? He's like, well, I grew up in Connecticut. So let's use Connecticut. Our main character is like, all right, whatever. So this girl is holding Steve's hand. Steve is laying on his back. No shoes or socks on. And they've dotted out where dude needs to cut. And he's in the frying pan's ready. Stove's already on. Oil in the pan kind of thing. So my dude's up like this. He goes, one, two. He's like, what? He's like, I don't know, dude. I teach karate on the side. These kids are going to see my feet. I don't know. He says, hey, man, it's up to you. But, you know, I came all the way out here. He's like, you're right. You're right. He says, maybe if you don't see the knife coming, you won't freak out. He's like, all right. So he lays on his back. At the end of the episode, they show a photo that the main guy took of dude laying on his back. Laying on his back, on his stomach. Sorry, laying on his stomach with his foot out. And they've remarked so he knows where to cut. He's one, two, Connecticut, Connecticut. He chickens out three times. They finally decide not to do it. Main character dude is kind of mad because A, he went all the way out there. B, he's not getting paid. And Steve says to him, he says, you want to watch the game? So they watched the last half of the game in the most awkward silence ever. And then last five minutes of the game, the main character dude gets a Venmo of $4,000. Dude paid him anyways. Nice. So the main character, they all go to a bar because they're like, hey, we got money. Let's go. They start dating after this. This is what brought them together to date. They're still together today. The guys?
Unbelievable Stories and Creative Storytelling
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The guy and the girl. Oh. Because the main guy brought a girl over. So she's a cheerleader. And this is why they're still together. And every once in a while, he'll go on Craigslist asking for a couple bucks to do yard work or something like that. Nothing is crazy. And he'll get a weird message. I want you to help me fulfill my fantasy. He's like Steve. Hey buddy. How you doing? I was like, I can't not talk about this on the show tonight. So I watched two of them. There's the fourth one I think comes out tonight. The second one, this guy, he's played by the actor. Do you remember the scary movies? The parodies of Scream? Yeah. Do you remember the one where they did the parody of Signs? Yes. The dumb one. Charlie Sheen. And then, yeah. And then you got the guy that. Simon Rex. Simon Rex. Thank you. Simon Rex plays this main character. And he's down on his luck. He just. He'd been working for years as a gardener. And he lost it one day and quit. And because he quit his job, his girlfriend kicked him out. So he decided he's going to get in his. 2003 van, like pedo van, and he's going to go for a drive And he ends up somewhere In the Everglades that he's never been Next to a park So he parks And he's just kind of like You know what He's got this weird thing I'm going to live off the land at this point. He's kind of pissed off the world. And he sees, you know, this is a nice park. And then he sees a pile of trash, not in the dumpster. And he looks up and down the road and he sees a bunch of trash. He's like, this is too much nice of a place for people to just leave trash. So he starts collecting this trash and making little piles to eventually come back and throw it in the dumpster. And he gets to a point and he sees a fence. It's like made out of what you would use to put in concrete. You know, it's not very, it's not like a real fence. It's almost like chicken wire style. And he said something called to him that he had to go over that fence. Remind you, it's Florida. He's in the Everglades. You kind of see where the story is going. So he gets, he, for no reason whatsoever, he jumps over the fence and an eyewitness saw him jump over the fence, jump back over, climb under the fence, jump back over, climb under again. Then he decides to keep walking like nature is calling him. And he gets to this beautiful lake that he'd never seen. And he jumps in. And this time it's like 9.30 at night. And he's floating up and he's looking at the stars. And he sees a constellation. Or what he thinks is a constellation. He's looking at it and he's like, you know that looks like an alligator. Huh. That's funny. I haven't seen any alligators out here today. So he gets up and he's, you know, instead of laying on his back floating, he's now floating. And within two feet of him is an alligator that bites his arm off. And he fights with this thing because it's got his arm broken.
00:21:06
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And he fights with this thing and he's like, it's not going to take me, it's not going to death roll me. He loses his arm and then climbs up on the beach and thinks this alligator is stalking him for two days. And he swears up and down that the alligator was his mother that had passed away years before. um same Getting him on the right path. After two days of lying in the woods or in the swamps, somebody hears him moaning. Oddly enough, he because the way the alligator crushed his bicep when he ripped off his arm, he didn't bleed out. and This guy heard him scream about a mile from where he left his van. and The guy said, do you need help? and He's like, dude, you got some water? Now he goes around to churches and telling people his story on how Jesus saved him because his mother was a crocodile. I kid you not. The eyewitness stories on some of these because it's kind of shot documentary style with the the person that it happened to narrating it, the actors playing the role, and then eyewitnesses doing their, what they saw. I laughed so hard. I can't wait to watch the next one. Anna Faris is in the next one. It's called Mermaids. i haven't even I don't even know what that's about. But that's the first two. I think this it's a genius way to tell a story. Because they don't have... I mean, they they're small as actors. they're not you know It's not like Brad Pitt's out there playing a guy that got his arm bit off by an alligator. Yeah. But the Rex guy fucking killed it, dude. I laughed so hard. I can't wait for you to watch it because when you watch that first one, I guarantee you're going to mess with me going, you're right. This is fucking nuts. I can't wait to see you next week. They have experts on each show, on on each episode. was like They had a lady that claimed to be a a psychic medium, and she's asking this crystal penjaum pendulum if that was his mom. and see She first goes like this. Is this guy's story real? And of course it goes back and forth. And she's like, yes. And then she's like, did did he really survive? The reason he survived was to tell people about getting on the right path. That's a yes. And then was that alligator his mom? And then it starts going left to right. She's like, that's a no. yeah know and I was just like, wow. I'm so glad I don't live in Florida. such The sad part about it is. Those aren't even the weird stories stories I guarantee it because those are just the first two Yeah You know I think it's an eight part mini series If they don't do a second season Hey Blaze What's up gentlemen I know you have a segment you'd like to do tonight. Yeah, whenever you are done. I'm ready. I got a couple of stories. and then in this After we go to break, Wick's going to do his segment. Yeah. I can wait. I'll hold off for a moment. All right. It's going to be a few minutes you know telling a story. No, it's all right. Well, actually, I do have news articles. What is going on? So, a Florida man, because I found some more Florida stories because I want them to turn this into that. It's Florida Man series. A Florida man was bitten by a shark. Twice. At the same beach. A decade apart. So he got bit by a shark at this beach. Ten years later, we went back to the same beach and got bit again. fucking water. I'm sorry. At first, you don't succeed. It would only be funnier if it was like the same shark too. I don't know if there's a way to track that. ah DNA test. I don't know. I don't know if they caught it. I got to get by a car the same day one year apart. Oh shit. I saw i saw a story and this is I saw this on Reddit, and it was true stories. So this guy, he bought a moped when he was like 16, and he rode it. Or no, he was 19, and he had a two-year-old son. Same car, OG, same person. Well, that's the funny thing about this story. This dude bought a moped to get back and forth to work because he had just had a new baby boy and he was riding his moped and came to an intersection and got hit by a taxi and unfortunately he died
00:27:03
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eighteen years later his son was driving the exact same mopa at the exact same intersection and got hit by the exact same taxi and driver and died holy shit right I was like, maybe not ride a moped. That's the moral icon of the story. Because mopeds are slow. And if I was on a real motorcycle, he died. I could have gotten out of the way. I know somebody went down on a moped because of bad brakes and they didn't have a helmet on. And they weren't going but more than 35 miles an hour. And it fucked them up pretty hard. That's the funny thing about mopeds. They don't get the maintenance like motorcycles do. When you own a motorcycle, you keep up maintenance because this thing goes fast. It'll fucking kill me. Mopeds, you're like, this is a toy. I'm just putting around on it. Yeah. At 35, that's not that bad, but you hit a wall at 35, you're going to know it. Yes, I agree.
Strange Historical Cases and Incidents
00:28:10
Speaker
You guys ever had a part-time job at a place like Dollar General? No, I haven't. Can't say that I have. Well, a former Dollar General employee is accused of stealing $7,000 worth of returns. That's probably a lot of shit. Because it's a Dollar General, let's be honest. She's got a ban with $7,000 single items. It's a lot of cheap shit. Apparently, as people return them, she would give them their money and then she would put them in her purse. And at the end of the day, put it in her van and take it home and use it. I can imagine. So, it's kind of like OG said he worked a dollar. or I can imagine working at like Dollar Tree Dollar General or something like that would fucking suck. Right? I worked at Kroger's when I was in high school, but it was fun. Well, not only that, we could buy beer there. You can't buy beer at the... At the General Dollars, you could buy beer. Yeah, Dollar General. That's why we worked at K program. The family dollars. The family dollars you can't. We got both of those around here. Like literally like they seem to build up in rural areas because there's like four of each within like a drive distance. Well, the funny thing is they have a version of the dollar general here, but it's inside. So like if I'm at Walmart, it's inside the Walmart. Like you know where they have – The Peso General Luto. Do you know how they have – like they used to have McDonald's in a Walmart? Yeah. They'll have like a Dollar General in there. Inside the Walmart. Inside the Walmart. That sounds redundant. It's kind of genius. I buy hangers and shit there. It's like if Walmart's too expensive, we have a Dollar General for you in the Walmart. Right? But they sell stupid stuff that you can buy in Walmart for $2, but you can go out of here for $1. But it's also part of Walmart. So if they order too much of something, they put it in the dollar section. Interesting. But they have two different checkouts. Is it actually a Walmart or is it just like a... No, we're at Walmart. They also have them at a couple of different stores here. They have them at the Big Soriana I go through too. It's like they sell stupid shit. You can buy dog collars or cat collars or spatulas. Nothing you're like, oh my gosh, this is the greatest thing ever because it's a dollar store. Well, I mean, you can go to a porn shop and buy doll collars too. Well, yeah. This is true. Good to know. You can get shot collars if you want. Yeah. Pass. Pass. So, I understand you have a pack.
00:31:26
Speaker
I do. I do. It's ah another what the facts segment. In today's story, I'm titling i'm or I'm headlining the lucky rabbit's fetus. so b Fetus? You'll know after the story. So this this weird, weird, weird story comes at us from the 1700s. Approximately, it's 1726. And there was this lady by the name of Mary Toft, T-O-F-T. And she apparently was giving birth to rabbits. what Whoa. I know. Like, not she was breeding rabbits, but she was birthed. She was popping out rabbits from her. from i I know. know this story. So it became this this like, whoa, attraction. Stop fucking the rabbit. And so this doctor by the name of Dr. John Howard had her go, this was this happened over in England. I forgot what town she was in, but she ended up going over to a town, Gifford, where they were running, you know, kind of like figuring out why she was popping out rabbits. In total, I believe she had 18 quote unquote rabbit births. And so during this whole investigation, like this shit made it all the way up to like the royal family. Like what the fuck is going on why is there's this why is this lady like shooting out it's not normal right and and the thing is they're they're not live they're they're still burnt they're still born okay still born so yeah they're still born so this goes on for like a couple months and anyway they had like uh invest like um doctor investigators or whatever you want to call them coming from the from the royal family trying to you know investigating and she's sitting there like she'll start like having contractions and like popping out fucking stillborn rabbits but okay so after a few months that went on what had happened was she was bribing or her sister was bribing one of the bedchamber maids or whatever. She actually was a, she, she's from a poor family. Her husband's poor. So they were doing this for, for money. It was, they were taking animal parts and constructing them in a way to make them look like rabbits. And she would shove them upside inside her and like multiple. And she, yes, dead animal. and She had no idea. No, no, no. She had an idea. She was doing this on purpose to make money. She wanted to get famous as a tour. Yeah. You know, the lady who gives birth to fuck. Yes. So they ended up doing it unbeknownst to her. and No, no, no, no. Sheer are you? This was a money-making scam between her, her sister, and her husband. They ended up getting getting busted. Eventually, it was found out it was a hoax. They sent her to prison for like a couple months trying to figure out what the fuck to do with her. She didn't really commit a crime. i She didn't do anything wrong technically, so they let her ask her. Here's my thing with it. You're stuffing dead animal carcasses <unk> right up your fucking hoo-ha. Yeah. 18 of first believed her. The doctors believed her at first. They were sitting there watching her give birth to these and dead animals and they were like, oh, that must be real. Fucking weird. Yeah was 1700s and 1700s. I could be a doctor tomorrow. This is true. This is very true. so But yeah, if you won' to be able to get away with the hope went on the hoax went on for like a couple of months before she was figured out. But she ended up living to the age of like 60 something. She ended up trying to scam again and in a similar way, like a couple years after the fact. But again, it didn't didn't do anything. But she ended up dead having she ended up having five actual children all in all. The fifth one was born a couple years after getting busted the second or the first time. So like her part still worked after all that. So yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just like, if I were, if like, you imagine being her husband, and my name on this or but never that desperate. Yeah. Like, like it's like, I don't think I can put my dick in that afterwards after dead animals come out or in and out. It's just no.. so I thought I ran across it. I thought it was a pretty fucked up story from the past. I mean, yeah. ah Shoving dead animals up your cooter. But yeah, that's that's what I have today. And that's why my headline was Lucky Rabbit's Fetus. And on that note, we are going to take a little bit of a quick break. We'll be back here in a little bit. Play a little Jules in the house. Actually, you know what? what's I can't remember the guy's name. What's the dude that sings Shelby Silverado because I like that song. Derek. Derek. Yeah, I'm going to play a little. Derek Wayne Douglas. Derek Wayne Douglas, Chevy Silverado. We'll be right back after this and we're going to go into
00:37:15
Speaker
so more storie
00:38:46
Speaker
Chevy Silverado.
00:39:40
Speaker
yeah little dek wayne douglass with chey sorato i like that song have it on my spot but it's got like three new songs out it upload it on
00:39:54
Speaker
on. Yeah. So, yeah, welcome back, everybody. Once again, bio.link slash nonsensicalnetwork. You can check out everything we do, including you can find our merch store, nonsensical-nonsense at, or sorry, dot myspreadshop.com and spread us on you. Look, you got a story for us? Still not any less creepy. See? Damned if I do. Damned if I don't. It's creepy in general. It doesn't matter who the fuck says. Okay. Spread S on you. Yeah, you're right. Judging by somebody's OnlyFans promotion, it's not the creepiest thing we've done. You act like I got my fucking wiener out or something like that. It's literally shirtless fucking pictures. I saw a fucking little compilation video you made came up and you got your shirt up and your sweatpants on. I was like, oh my god! Yeah, they're shirtless pics. Deal with it. Act like you've never seen a guy with a shirt. No, I'm blocking your ass. You're also the guy that watches gay porn and tran porn, tranny porn for hours, and then all of a sudden... It's only gay if I don't know them. Not gay if I don't know them. So you... No, no, you said it right the first time. It's still gay because you don't know them. You're not helping your case. In breaking news, don't worry. Don't worry, Jeff. You're fine. You don't have anything to worry about. The gays are fine. We love the gays. I was going to say, Jeff, when Glick goes on vacation, don't expect me to argue with you like I'm your husband and you're my disappointing wife. Yeah, you caught that too, disappointing. I mean, Jeff seems to be the only one that has a problem with my TikTok page. I'll tell you just like I told my daughter. Don't fucking look at it. Scroll past it. Oh, I do. Trust me. You can't scroll past it. It sounds like you are thoroughly investigating them. No, because I sent it to Chaka on Monday when we were talking about it. You do know Chaka follows me on TikTok. He could just look for himself. She probably does. Don't hate the the hustle. hustle. Okay. Okay. Hate Hate the the hustler. hustler. Don't Don't hate hate the the hustle. hustler. Don't Don't worry. hate the Don't hate hustler. Don't hate the hustler. Hate the hustle. Yeah. Look, man. It's just a matter of time. I'm really grinding out. I got some stuff on the OnlyFans. Just got to get some more followers. I'll get some more stuff up the more followers I get. I might start making enough money off of that. I'll be like, fuck y'all bitches. I'm making $15,000 a month. Do you mind if I ask you what exactly you do on OnlyFans? Because I know OnlyFans isn't just sex. I get that. He... Porn objects. Porn objects in my pee hole. Fair enough. It's more suggestive than actual news. Jeff knows more about my... No, the reason why I say that is because he's explained it like 15 times. I don't... You know what? I apologize. I've missed it all 15 times. It's okay. I tried to block it out. I don't know exactly how to do sexy, but they're quote-unquote sexy pictures suggestive. They don't leave a whole lot to the imagination, but I don't got my wiener whipped out or anything. Fair enough. Nothing you can tell because your camera doesn't zoom far enough. Joke's on you. I got a new camera and it does zoom. But not far enough. Plus, I photoshopped my pics. I haven't figured out how to change the color of my dick. It's still black. I have a small deformity. Look, 14 to 16 inches of my body is black. I don't know what happened. My penis identifies as black. What are you going to do? Yeah, what are you going to do? Yeah, no, it's not like full-on nudity or anything like that. It doesn't leave a lot to the imagination. I'll say that much. Shows his booty hole. Booty hole. Can't see my booty hole because that's where my tail goes. Oh, God. What are you doing? A fox tail. What are you, Dragon Ball Z freaking Super Saiyan? Oh, no. There's chicks online that got like 400 different tails. Oh, the butt plug ones? Yeah, the butt plug tails. That's what he's talking about. That's why he can't see his booty hole because he's got his butt bug tail in. Maybe that's where I need to find some more scat stories around that area. It just looks uncomfortable to me. Can you serve me, man? I'm not going to try it because it looks seriously uncomfortable. Like it would feel like you have to shit all the time. I'm just saying. Anyways, Glick, you got any stories? Not about butt plugs? Don't have anything, I guess. No butt plug stories? Got a young lady here who has multiple intense orgasms all day long. Goddamn ads. That's why your mom's a fucking whore. You lost, Joe Biden. The obvious. Congratulations to 47. President Trump won the election last night. That's all we're going to say about it. 400,000 times. We don't need to go into it. That's all we're going to say about it. It's like old news by now. Right? I would have said the same if Kamala the Ugandan destroyer won. No, you wouldn't. Yeah, I would have. I don't give a fuck enough about politics. You were going to move to Canada. I was going to move to Zimbabwe. What are you talking about? Oh, Canada. Look, you know the rules. Canada and I have a peace treaty. I'm not allowed to go there. They're not allowed to go there. It's a whole thing. Failing miserably on both counts. Yeah, it's a declaration of war if I go over there and they don't want me to take over their country. I mean, I could single-handedly take over an entire country if I wanted to, but Canada would be the easiest to do something. Cause they just like, okay, have it. It's yours. Sorry about that. Sorry about that. What up, lazy? So anyways, this, this young lady says,
00:47:54
Speaker
but it can be a nightmare for sufferers a woman whose rare condition causes her to spontaneously become aroused, claims that the ailment has become so debilitating that she can't work and barely leaves her house. It's not something you want Amazing and good day. to have. It can be very distressing, warn the unnamed 29-year-old sufferer while describing her anticlimactic affliction in a viral Ask Me Anything on Reddit.
Unique Personal Challenges and Disorders
00:48:20
Speaker
She suffers from PGAD, which is Persistentital arousal disorder. I have that as well, being a guy. Yeah, which involves experiencing unwanted sensations of arousal around your genitals that don't resolve with one or more orgasms. Unfortunately, the sufferer cannot control when those changes begin, and orgasms don't relieve themselves. I did see a story similar to that. A girl had something similar to that, but it would only happen if somebody scared her, and her boyfriend at the time would constantly jump out like ah she'd have an orgasm and then until she broke up with him for it but yeah it sounds it does sound like a good whoa it does sound like a good time but it like it sounds like the first five, you're like, okay, I'm done. No, you're not. Yeah, no, it says it can be anywhere from a few, like three or five, to over 25 in one day. Jesus. And she says, I believe, Nikki's been there. Hashtag 25, baby. Yeah, but out of nowhere... Oh, no. Walking through the fucking mall to go get Burger King and you're like, oh my God, this is the most amazing Burger King ever. Yeah, no. Obviously, there was a reason why. It wasn't just randomly walking. Yeah. But nonetheless. She's super sensitive. Which is that goddamn good. Could be a combination of the two. Oh, God. No, but it's like, it's one of those things. Could you imagine, though, if they were like, like that scene when Harry met Sally, if every one of them was like, oh, my God. It's just like... To the person, anybody saying, that sounds awesome. Yeah, after the first day, you're like, this is horrible. I mean, I mean, if it was like an average of like three to five times a day, probably not that bad. I do that myself. Yeah. I'm just saying like, probably not all that bad, but when you're getting upwards of 25 and she said that she believes, she said one day, I believe I had 50 of them though. She said she could feel the sensation coming on mostly, most strongly in her cervix, but she's also noticed some tall tale or telltale warning signs of the impending titillation, explaining that sometimes she gets panicky or dissociative. She gets a tingling in her genitals, and I feel like a pleasurable buildup deep inside. She added that she will feel tingly in her clitoris, and then it spreads to her rectum and cervix area. She gets the buttgasms. I'm telling you right now, I bet she doesn't go to the park. She's going to end up on a list. She doesn't go to a lot of places. Yeah, she doesn't go to a lot of places there. I bet you any guy she's dating feels like the King. He's like, yeah, I did that. Or at least he takes credit for it. I would. I'd be taking credit for it. Yeah. You're welcome. You're welcome, by the way. You're welcome, Mitch. That sounds horrible. Like I said, the the first day kind of cool after about a week you're like I just want to die Yeah, no I'd be over it real quick and in a in a hurry at the end of the day But I bet she has to drink a lot of water. Probably got to do something. She gets dehydrated really quickly, you know? How did I get up there twice? I don't mean to do that. There it goes. I don't know. But other news, a woman had a bright tanning experience with fake bronzer, and it left her looking green. Mississippi Marketing Director Sarah Trent had a fake tanner on her face when she accidentally fell asleep, leaving it to develop on her skin for more than eight hours as opposed to the recommended one hour. Trent 30 woke up horrified and realized her face had turned into a deep, dark green color that would not scrub away. Trent says, she was like, I was like, oh my god. And I ran to the mirror and saw what it looked like. And I was about to have a panic attack because it doesn't normally look like that. Bitch, you fell asleep. The marketing director who hails from Tupelo, Mississippi. Sharon, of course, she went on TikTok, and of course, she's going viral everywhere. And the pictures that they show, it almost looked like she was going almost borderline blackface, like she was trying to go brownface. Oh. You know, fortunately, though, it did wash. It does wash off after a couple of washes and rinses. So, obviously, everything. She was a white girl, and now it's all back to normal, and she's fine. She just looked like an asshole for a day or two. Which serves you right. Now, because she's an asshole, she's fucking viral on TikTok and she's blown up and now she's famous. Yeah. There's that. Enjoy your 15 minutes. Stop taking naps when you're tanning. I miss going blackface. Dude, we were watching... Fucking Benji. Just so you guys know, that came from the chatterbox, not me. I'm glad you said that because I didn't have the chat up. And out of nowhere, you're just like, I miss going blackface. I saw it before he said it. I'm like, oh shit. He said it. Good times. Good times. However, I will say I was watching Douche Bigelow last night. We got done doing the show. Mickey was watching the hot chick. Then when I got done doing what I had to do and I went out there and sat down, she was watching Deuce Bigelow. I don't understand why it's okay to go whiteface. I say that because Eddie Griffin, who's in Deuce Bigelow, he's the man pimp. He does whiteface. Then the Wayans brothers do whiteface and white.... White chicks. And then there was a whole bunch of the last couple years people of not white complexion doing white face. Young people. Didn't you know when you're racist against white people, it's not racism? Because you can't be racist to white people. It's not racist when you're doing... It's not racist when you're dressed as a character and you face... There's that one chick on TikTok. She paints her face. That's a huge bitch. No, there's a chick. She does face painting. But she makes herself look like, you know, she did one. She made herself look like Brad Pitt. Like, you were like, holy fuck, that's perfect. And then she got in trouble when she did LeBron James. Yeah, get the fuck over it, you losers. It's one thing that she would have started with LeBron James, but it was like her fifth or tenth one. And people were like all pissed off about it. I was like, no, go back and watch her content. You can see she did like she did one of Jackie Chan and she did one of, you know, Martha Stewart. It's like, OK, yeah, she's leading up to that. I was I was seriously offended when we watched that, and I had to come into the bedroom and crawl in the fetal position and cry for hours. Because... Yeah, because Eddie Griffin was in Whiteface. Seriously offended. We should cancel. Oh, wait, he's irrelevant nowadays, isn't he? He's got a podcast. Everybody has a podcast these days. No, but he does a political podcast. It's actually
Podcast Industry Commentary
00:57:47
Speaker
funny. Eddie Griffith's podcast is actually kind of funny. Everybody thinks their podcast is funny. You know, that is the problem nowadays. Everybody's got a podcast. Everybody wants to be like us. It all started with us. We were the originators. What's that one guy's name? Oh, yeah, Joe Rogan. He's got a podcast. Go to hell, Joe Rogan. Stuck my dick and eat my asshole, Joe Rogan. You son of a bitch. I don't want to fight you, Joe, by the way. Just let that be known. I don't want to fight Joe Rogan. Oh, no. I thought you said you wanted to. I was like, oh, dude, I'll set that up tomorrow, dude. I'll make five photos. I'm in to watch that. Will we go live? Not unless I can take my 9mm. Not unless I can take my 9mm and shoot both of his kneecaps out and his hands. Joe Rogan goes to jail for killing a Sasquatch. Sasquatch had a mouth on him and started talking shit. He is now... If you look up in the dictionary, fuck around and find out, you'll see a picture of a Sasquatch named Glick. Fuck around and find out. Me too, MK. I want to see that girl that does all the face painting. MK said I want to see her pull off Glick and his beard. You want a piece of chocolate? Oh, yeah. Good luck with that. I want a piece of chocolate. Email that shit over to me. Email. Speaking of... What's that? that? Did What's you hear? Before you get into your next story, Glick, this actually portrays to what you guys just talked about, sending that chocolate. There is now, scientists have perfected to digitalize scent. They were able to digitize the scent of a plum and send it across the room or across the building. You know I'm looking this shit up. Oh yeah, I saw it the other day. They have to add a lot more stuff to it, but they were able to digitize it. In our lifetime, we can see Smell-O-Vision. I'm just saying. I'm good. What's that guy's name? The guy that does Dirty Jobs? I don't want his show to be on Smell-O-Vision. I'm just calling it that. Chaka. I would say Joe's one leg kick to Flick and down goes Frazier. Right? Glock. Glock, not Flick. Glick, not Flick. I'm sure you mean Glick, too. Oh, my God, Glick, not Glick. God damn it, it won't fucking do it. That's why I said if I can shoot both of his kneecaps out and shoot one of his hands, then, yeah, I'll fight Joe Rogan. But outside of that, I don't want to fight Joe Rogan. However, I will continue to talk shit about Joe Rogan. Fuck Joe Rogan. Not a man. See, I knew that. I knew it. Glick, not Glock. Damn autocorrect. It gets me every time. Especially when I'm trying to cuss somebody out. I'm like, duck you, duck you, duck you. Duck you, you mother ducker. What the fuck? What's wrong with this guy? He's went quackers. Oh, yeah. You looked up that story about the scent, right? It's true. It is a true thing. It is a true thing. This technology they've been working on since like the 50s and 60s. Yeah. I don't think it's going to be as like there's so many smells in the world. What it's supposed to do is it's supposed to fire off the synapses that makes that your brain has already like the smells we've smelled they're kind of like in our brain memory-wise. Right. And that digital olfactory thing, I forgot the actual name. It's supposed to bring that out. It's going to be going along with the goggles thing. The VR. The VR. Yeah, it just tricks our brain into thinking we're smelling something. Yeah, but what if you haven't ever smelt it before? Like, hot garbage. I guess you're lucky. He who smelt it dealt it. There you go. Oh, believe me. If that thing was real, like, if we could utilize that technology on this show, you guys would hate me. Yeah. My dog just farted. Yeah. You know that's what's going to happen. Because it'll be added to OnlyFans first. OnlyFans. So you can smell her fart or smell her armpit. You can smell and taste your bathwater through an email. Yeah, hey. No, because when it comes to, like, that's why Blu-rays were successful as opposed to Laserdiscs. Because porn went to Blu-ray. And DVDs were successful. You know what? Porn actually was most... Porn was mostly a high-def disc. It's Disney that went Blu-ray that caused that shift. But porn kind of drives the industry of... It did during the Beta and VHS tape wars. Porn was VHS. P make smell-o-vision a thing so you can watch oh absolutely smell what's going on you can smell jenna jamin's could you could you could you could fuck words are hard do you really want to though no not at all i mean not at all sir after i'm done i'm already disappointed in myself do i really have the smell lingering like so now i feel more like a lizard because i smell it but it took me a taste oh you dirty dirty soul dirty dirty soul anyway I think Glick had more stories. Got more? No, I'm good. Well, in other news, a Florida man is accused of hacking into Disney's system. Let's play a guessing game. What do you guys think he did when he hacked into Disney's systems? He found out all the mascot shoe sizes? No. Then I'm clueless. It's one of those things like it's Florida, so it's stupid. Obviously, that's why I said what I said.
Bizarre News and Mischievous Tales
01:05:08
Speaker
It's non-sexual. So a Florida man hacked into Disney World's menus and changed the font to Wingdings. That's funny, man. If anybody don't know what Wingdings is, it's the one where it's like hieroglyphics. That shit's funny, man. That's a, like, you're not even hurting anybody at that point. That guy's a winner in my book. You know, that's just like, those are like those innocent prank phone calls you make back in the day. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, your refrigerator's running. You better go catch it. I saw that and I was like, you know what? That's just fucking cute. Fuck yeah. That's some fucking Jim in the office type shit. Right? Bucking with Dwight. So he did this a couple days before the election. What was it? I thought I saw a number here.
01:06:01
Speaker
He was an ex-Disney employee. Oh, he also locked out 14 other employees out of their accounts. He did he now. Yeah. I'm just saying, don't fuck with the IT guy. No, don't fuck with the IT guy. I was going to say, did he really hack into the system or did he still have all of his credentials and just went into the system? He went in using their web browser and using passwords and cookies and financial information, among other data, and they say he stole over 107 million, 170 million pieces of information. But I guess he did the wingdings thing as a calling card. Like, I'm the wet bandits. The fucking sticky band of the tape bandit from Home Alone. Exactly. He left a calling card. But he sent out 189 free tickets to Disney as well. Robin Hood style. But he has apparently, well, they caught him about a week later. Yeah, he stole 170 million pieces of information, including, you know, when you go to those restaurants, you swipe your card. Yeah. You stole credit card information from enough people where he didn't have to work anymore. He didn't get a chance to use them because he got arrested because he left a calling card of Wingdings and they were able to trace it through that. What a fucking idiot. Not too bright. I logged in with my credentials from when I worked there. It was hard to track. My password was Bob 105. Real quick, let's take another quick break. That second half hour mark. I'm going to go ahead with Jules and the Howl. I like this song too. We'll be back in a few minutes. Don't forget when you go to buyer.link slash nonsensicalnetwork to check out our merch store. Check out our stuff. Buy some of our stuff. Buy something. Buy me a coffee. Put coffee money in my account. There you go. The force inside of me It's bred to break free A fluid storm underneath my skin Raging We'll be right back.
01:12:00
Speaker
Yeah, there's a kind of energy out here on the crowdl. Oh We are back. And once again, follow us at bio.like slash nonsensicalnetwork. You can find all our shows. We do every show, every week, every day, every week. Speedway Stories and Cold-Blooded Conversations and Men Care for Men. That's Mondays. Tuesdays, Clicks House of Music, Wednesdays is this show, What the Fuck News. Every other Thursday is Cash's Corner. You got one this week? I saw Cash running around. I'll take that as a note. Glick? Yes. He's muted. I think he's... He's not paying. He's like, I'm on vacation. I'm checking out. He's already checked out. Friday, of course, Blaze and I are going to be watching The Great Outdoors this week on Nonsense and Chill. Saturday, we have Nonsensical Nonsense, the open door challenge. We're doing a little bit different this week. You've got to subscribe to actually comment. And then Sunday, Unnecessary Roughness and occasionally Jeff's Garage. I have another story for you guys. This is recent. So, Blaze, are you following the war in Ukraine at all? Not too much. Not lately, I haven't, no. Well, I don't know if you knew, but the North Korean soldiers have showed up. And North Korea sent over some soldiers. And when they landed, Russia was like, okay, we have to be able to communicate with you guys. So they gave them cell phones. This is the first time these guys have had access to the internet that's uncensored. You see where I'm going. They have not done anything because now they're all addicted to porn. They found porn and they're like, there's boogies on this. I'll be back. And they're like, they can't get them to do anything. They're like, make love, not war. Right? That's awesome. I thought that was hilarious. I'm not mad at that. I'm not either. It's one of those things. North Korea, they have a A, most of their soldiers don't have access to. It's like apparently in, in North Korea, 90% of people don't have phones. If you have a phone in North Korea, if you're from North Korea, you're considered uber rich. Or very well trusted by the main man in control. You know what I mean because if you know you fuck up on that phone your head is it's gone yeah he's off with your head type and you gotta remember these are these are 18 to 20 year olds 18 25 something like that soldiers that this is their first access to a phone let alone the internet with everything there is to be on the internet. And as we know, so maybe they're watching us. I doubt it. They're probably still watching porn. Because there's a lot of them. Hey, North Korean. If we have North Korean fans out there, just unfollow us. Or do yourself a favor. Go back and kill the leader. I'm just saying. Yeah, I mean, do that. That's cool, too. Praise Allah. Praise Allah. In other news, a gentleman in New York started a business, gentlemen, and his first client was his buddy. And his business is cleaning houses. Naked. No, no, no. Fully clothed. He shows up and he just cleans. So his buddy was like, you know what? Come by, clean my apartment. I'll give you $200. He's all right, cool. He's in my house and pretty clean. He says, he's under the mat. Well, he had never been to this guy's apartment. He went in and spent six hours cleaning the entire place. It was fucking spotless. And he was like, I'll just wait for my buddy to get home. Yeah. Be like, what do you think? You know? So his buddy gets home and he's sitting playing on his phone waiting for his buddy to get home and he gets a text Dude did you even fucking show up? He says what are you talking about? I spent six hours cleaning He says No my house is still a mess He's like dude I'm sitting on your couch Playing with your cat And he says dude I don't have a cat He He was in the wrong apartment. So he left the cat and got the fuck out of there because technically, you know, it just happened to be he was on the wrong floor. Yeah. When the owners came home to a perfectly clean fucking house. I wouldn't be mad at that if somebody broke into my house and cleaned it. At the end of the day, I'd be like, hey. The lady was on the news. She was like, I came home and I instantly texted my husband. Did you clean? He's like, I haven't even been home today. We left at the same time. He's like, the house is perfectly clean. He's like, good for you. She's like, I just walked in the door. They ended up did paying the guy. They gave him $200. Once they realized the mistake, he went upstairs. He texted his buddy. He's like, well, okay, which house is yours? He's like, I'm one floor above you. And then when they came home, he went and knocked the door. He's like, I'm sorry. I cleaned your house. And they're like, wait, what? And he had to explain it to them. And he had the wrong house. Somebody cleaned the shit out of my house. I saw the story and I was like, that is so fucking cute. The cops show up. So what do they steal? They stole all the dirt. They took all the dirt. I was saving that dirt for a special occasion. It was one of those cute misunderstanding kind of things. He eventually realized they were home and he went and knocked on the door and he's like I'm. I was supposed to be cleaning my buddy's apartment. I cleaned yours. And they're like, you did a really fucking good job. He has a customer for life, apparently. Fuck yeah. They're like, you can buy by next month. I was like, that's one way to promote your business. I'm just saying. No shit. We break in and you don't even know it. We're ninja cleaners. Yeah. I saw that. I was like, that is the cutest, weirdest thing ever. And, you know, it could have gone really bad because, you know, it's not a good thing to just waltz into somebody's house. But if you left your key under the mat, you kind of deserve it. Fair. Fair enough. But the video of him cleaning, they did a reenactment, and he's got just a cut-off t-shirt on and basketball shorts, and he's got a little bucket with all his cleaning supplies, and he's mopping floors, and he's dusting TVs. He goes to town, dude. That's a fucking true crime reenactment right there. I was just like, how dumb? But his buddy's like, asshole, did he even come by? You imagine if he figured it out without talking to his friend, he just cleaned and left place man that shit would be on like unsolved mysteries his buddy texted like asshole did you even come by to clean my house today what are you talking about i'm sitting on your cat house playing sitting on your couch playing with your cat i don't have a cat really wait what like he took out the cat litter and everything. Damn. Really? Apparently they haven't been friends for very long. Well, I think it was one of those things like it was a co-worker kind of thing. You can go by and clean my house kind of thing. Fair enough. He's like, here's my address, man. Or he just moved in. I don't know. But he went to the wrong door. How did he? I mean, these people just leave their doors unlocked? No, no, no, no. His buddy said, when you get there, I'm going to leave the door, the key under the mat. So he got there, and they just happened to have a key under their mat they grabbed the key unlocked the door and went in and started cleaning not realizing he was on the wrong floor and the wrong apartment he had the the number of the apartment right it was like floor five and then every house on there was like one two three four four, five five. and And then floor six, one, two, three, four, five. So he went to apartment five. But he was on the wrong floor. He was on floor four instead of being on floor five. Yeah. But I just thought that was the funniest thing. But the video, he's scrubbing away. This house is the quote-unquote dirtiest thing he's ever seen. So he's on his hands and knees scrubbing floors, vacuuming. He found the vacuum. It was only a dramatized reenactment. It might have not even been really that intense. I don't think he probably was that intense. He was like, I just have to make it look like I do shit. But it's one of those things. Oh, it's fucking hilarious. Man, I don't know. They paid him. So he made 200 bucks still. I mean, if the house is as bad as he makes it. Yeah. If the house is as bad as he makes it out. No, because he said it wasn't that dirty. Because the couple, the house he cleaned, they had to be in the 50s. They were in their 50s. So, you know, the kids are out. They had just moved in a couple months prior, you know, because they they'd moved to New York. Now the kids were grown up and they got a smaller apartment. And this is what she was saying. It's like we've only been here a couple of months and now all of a sudden the house is clean. I was like, that's a hell of a ghost, man. Can I get one? Like I said, break into my house anytime, sir. I'll leave you the key, buddy. Yeah. But, you know, you don't hear stories of people breaking into houses and actually cleaning. No, that's the first I've heard that. Well, I watched a – there's a sketch show on British TV. Nick Frost was on it. And the show was called Oh my gosh. It was like it was called Men Spoofing Women. No, it was a sketch show. I can't remember the name of it. I have to look it up. But one of the sketches, this woman comes in. She's like, I am so tired. We just finished eating and I don't feel like doing the dishes. He he says, oh, you don't know. And she says, what are you talking about? He says, we have a magic table. And he's like, what do you mean we have a magic table? And he says, no matter what, if I put something on his table by tomorrow, it'll be gone and clean. And she's like, he says, but it doesn't stop there. If I put trash on the table, it's gone. If I put the laundry basket on this table, the laundry would be folded and put away when I wake up in the morning. And she's like, asshole, I do it. He's like, no, it's the magic table. It's called Men Stroke Women is the show. Men Stroke Women. It's basically what it is. Yeah. Men, yeah. But they do all sorts of skits on it. That would kind of remind me of that. That is funny. One of my favorite ones, Nick Frost wakes up and he's kind of hungover and he wakes up and he's like, oh, God. All of a sudden, this little kid runs in and he's like, oh, oh, shit. shit. The And the woman woman he's he's next next to to in in bed bed is is ugly ugly as as sin sin. and And he's he's like, like, oh, oh, man. man. And He he goes goes to to sneak sneak out out. and a And a little little girl girl goes, goes, hi, daddy. And he looks at the pictures on the stairwell. And it's his wedding. It's like been 10 years. He's like, oh. I need to send you some clips, ladies. Because it's the funniest shit I've ever seen. They do one where this guy goes, and it's one of those old jokes. A guy knocks on the door and this woman opens. And he's like, is Bob here? He's like, no. He's in the shower. She goes, come on in. Wait for him said, she's like, I hear you went to Ibiza. She said, yeah, it was really nice. You have fantastic kids. And she's like, wait, what? He goes, oh, no, yeah, Ibiza was great. He says, I'd like to see them. And she's like, what are you talking about? He's like, I'll give you 100 pounds. She's like, I don't know. How about 200? Show me your boobs. He's like, all right. Shows his boobs. He's like, I'd really like to touch them. I'll give you another 200. She's like, all right. Have a go then. He squeezes her boobs. He's like, oh, yeah. He's like, oh, well, I got to go. Here's the money. And then Nick walks out of the room. He's like, who was at the door? He's like, oh, it was Ben. He's like, oh, I just gave that 400 pounds he was supposed to give me. I've heard that joke. I've heard that joke before. Yeah. But they turned it into a skit, and it's hilarious, that show. If you go onto YouTube and put on Men Stroke Women, some of the things on there are so funny, I die every time. Glick, do you have any penis stories for us, sir? Because it's about that time. It's time for penis time. Somewheres. H Pump day penis story. Can't scroll. We have way too much music on here. It's in the background music. Penis! It's labeled. What? It's in the background and it's labeled. Yeah, I know, but I have to go from the picture and then scroll all the way down. But somebody has 400 pieces of music on here. Only 400. Yeah. Somebody doesn't have that much stuff on here. On the other one, yeah. A lot of stuff. Somebody's put a bunch of dumbass pictures in the overlay. Actually, I keep the pictures low because I can't put in more because somebody has so much music on me. Well, that's because somebody interviews musicians and I mean... On this channel? On this brand? You don't understand the concept of promoting and sharing and getting things out there. So, yes, we take music breaks. So I play the artist on the network. We play the artists that I interview to promote their music. Why is there a 25-second clip of Donald Trump then? I don't know. I didn't put it there. Ask the political guy. Oh, fuck with block. Did you do this? God, that's when right after Trump got shot. Yeah, that was for part of a news story. Yeah. It's still here. Yeah, it wasn't me. We don't clean this out enough. You or I put that up. That was part of a news story. So yes, there is music. We can get rid of this one. There is music. Stop trying to stick your dick in everything, Jeff. That's the... That needs to stay there. Because I feel like that. That needs to go on all the brands, actually. But we hear about Jeff wanting to fuck out everything that he can. I'm just saying, I still will fucking ally him. What's this? We don't need that. That was part of that same news story. Same news story, yeah. Well, yeah, if you got your penis stories, we're ready. Grumpy ass. He is. He's a big dumb animal, isn't he, folks? Maybe they'll... Maybe through being forced to... You I don't I have very low expectations, but Where the hell are my penises? I mean penis stories. I Got a few different things in here. Let's see We finished up the horror stories about small penises, right? Yeah. They weren't really horror stories. They were kind of just cute. Micro.
Humorous Penis Facts and Historical Oddities
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Yeah, the micro penis stories. Micro penises. You know what? I'm going to do another. Actually, I'm going to do this. Change it up a little bit. Change it up a little bit. This is still more informational. Okay. But nonetheless, still has to do with pen eyes. The penile gland, if you will, which has nothing to do with the penis. If you look up a penal gland. Right. It sounds like a good time, but it's not. This is also from BuzzFeed. It is 26 of the most outrageous penis facts. Oh. So just got lots of factoids. What the fact, if you will, Blaze. What the fact. The penises on Greek statues were intentionally small because the Greeks associated small peepees with moderation. One of the key virtues that form their views of ideal masculinity, according to classic professor Andrew Lear, large penises were often perceived as being associated with being a drunk and or elderly. This kind of goes against you, doesn't it? Because you have a small penis and you're drunk and elderly. Well, according to this, I have key virtues. But you drink a lot, so it's kind of... I'm just saying, if you got a small dick, you're smart. That's what the Greeks thought. That's why we have a podcast. We're smart. We are so smart. That's why I'm a fucking genius, because I got a micro penis. I think we just figured out why we're the smartest people in the room. What are you doing? You taking a shower, Derek? Yeah. Maybe. This kid just doesn't know. Just grab the hose and hose him off. Throw him in the pool call today. A box of H. It's raining. It's raining here. Just throw him out the door with a bar of soap. It might be raining here. Hey, come back here with us. It's raining. Go outside with the Dawn dish soap and hose him down with that. Let his clothes get clean, too. Can I borrow this real quick? I don't care. Somebody put it there. I got a snow for you to watch on HBO, by the way. It's called Extreme Cheapskates. So anyways, before I was so rudely interrupted, back to the penis factoids. Yeah. It is believed that there are... Well, there's that now. He just comes back in. It is believed that there are between 600 and 700 people in the world with diphylia, a.k.a. born with two penises. What? It apparently occurs in one in every five. There's that one chick. She's got one chick. She's got two vaginas. That means that you'd match up if you had that. It occurs in one in 5.5 million births. I'm just saying, don't smoke while you're pregnant. And it is caused when a cellular split occurs during the development of the penis. And the two penises are independently created. There's another article that I have that... I wonder if one could get hard and one could be limp. So, yeah, there's another article that I have saved from Reddit. And it's a guy who has two penises. They both work like normal. One's about seven inches long and the other one's about five and a half, six inches long when hard. I'm just saying, does he walk around like rabbit ears or does it like a dog with one up and one down? I think, I mean, I don't know. I haven't seen the picture, but that goes a little bit farther into the story anyways. Number three, effectoid. There is a form of kung fu called iron crotch. It teaches men how to lift weights with their penises and definitely receive hard penis blows. According to... Hard penis blows. Sorry. According to Wei Yao Bin, a master in Iron Crotch, the practice of being hit in the dick is good for health. Okay. No, but I've seen that. They did that on that one movie that guy bought the dick weights and you hang it from your junk. Yeah. Interesting. I don't want to. I'm good. Yeah, the last thing I really want to do is he buys it out of a magazine and his friend's like, look, this dude gives the guy's name. He's like, he lifts 500 pounds with his dick. I was like, that's great if he's in a tractor pool. Yeah. I definitely will not be participating in the practice of being hit in the dick. I'm good. Number four, daddy long-legged spiders aren't really spiders. Really? Yeah, because they actually have penises. Other species of spiders actually transfer their sperm via an indirect method. So daddy long-legged, also known as one of the most venomous spiders on the planet, but their fangs aren't long enough to penetrate our skin, also have penises. So you might get humped by a daddy long legs. That is interesting. I would have never known that. I've never been Facebooked by a daddy long legs. You know what they say? If you lay in bed, in certain parts of the world, when you're asleep, spiders will literally crawl on your face. They say the average human being consumes eight spiders a year in their sleep or something like that. Yeah, that's a lot. And there's a comedian. Technically, we've each all blown a daddy long legs once in our life. Maybe. Ancient Romans used to wear and decorate houses with fascinus fascinus which are basically penis totem poles. Like a phallic symbol. Yes. Children would wear penis necklaces because they were supposed to be the embodiment of divine fertility. Yeah. Interesting. Now you just see them at bachelorette parties, I'm just saying. Yeah. Let's not discuss too much what the ancient Romans used to do because they were fucking everything. Children, each other, men. Yeah, they were fucking everything. Romans would also host processionals of huge phalluses across the countryside as a part of the Festival of Liberalia, which celebrated young boys coming of age carrying a large penis around the country was supposed to protect crops to ward off disease. Don't they still do that? You're a man. Carry this penis. Don't they still do that? There's like a penis festival somewhere. I saw that. I saw it on like... Look, I'll have to Google that and I'll do a penis story on it one night. When male honeybees ejaculate whilst having sex mid-air in Japan, by the way, they actually die. The force of their ejaculation causes the tip of the honeybee's penis to rupture, which leads to death. RIP, honeybees. Yeah. Well, honeybees, don't they die when they sting you anyways? I think so, yeah. Typically, yes. I think so. I just sent you an article on the penis festival in Japan. Okay. It's in the nonsensical nonsense. Yeah, I got it. Napoleon's penis. Question mark. Oh. Oh, it belongs to the daughter of urologist who bought the dick for $3,000. John Lattimore purchased the penis in 1977, and when he died in 07, he willed the member to his daughter. Lattimore collected other oddities like the collar Lincoln was wearing the night he was assassinated and the the capsule, which contained the cyanide, Herman Gorg took when he committed suicide. I've heard about that. Napoleon's penis changed like four hands before it got to that dude. Apparently when he died, they castrated him and then sold his penis. Oh, okay. More power to it, I guess. King Tut was apparently mummified. King Tut was apparently mummified with his penis erect. Because why not? Let's not? Through the years, people have tried all kinds of bizarre methods of birth control. The Egyptians would apply various concoctions to the penis. Including onion juice, honey, and insect soaked in donkey milk to prevent pregnancy. Interesting. Also, I think in Egypt, there was this parasite or something in the water and a lot of the normal citizens thought it would make a men's penis bleed. Have we talked about that before? No. Yeah, it would make a men's penis bleed. A lot of people at that time thought that was just like men's menstruation. Nice. No, men do have a menstruation. cycle. Yes Yes, I understand. Can't say they don't. Can't say they don't. You're going to get in trouble. Jeff, please don't do this. Uh-oh. In 1988, a report was issued warning of the dangers of mixing penises with cocaine. After a man injected his penis with cocaine with disastrous results, the man thought it would heighten his sexual experience, but it resulted in doctors having to amputate both of his legs, nine fingers, and his penis. Interesting. How much coke did he use? I don't know. It doesn't say, but let's not experiment and see what the limit is. All right. I'll stick to having the hooker snorted off my cock. Yeah. Maybe, maybe sprinkle a little bit into the tip. I don't know. You'd be the coke penis bay. No. Cause like I'm watching that show, Broadway Empire, and in the second or third episode, the one guy is dying. They take him to a dentist, and the dentist gives him cocaine to wake him back up. But it's liquefied. So I think that's the kind of cocaine they used. It's like a liquefied cocaine. Why would you do that? Why would you think that would work? Just snorting. It's a waste of cocaine, dude. Look, people do drugs and do weird shit, man. As we all learn from Rick James. Cocaine's a hell of a drug, man. Why the hell would I rub my muddy feet on their couch? Yeah, I rub my feet on their dirty couch. Cocaine's a hell of a drug. That just seems like a waste of cocaine. I'm a Jane, bitch. I mean, at the end of the day, it's still going into your system. You're still going to get high off of it. Yeah, but at the risk of losing, how many fingers? Four fingers? Is your dick and your legs? Nine fingers, two legs, and a dick. In presidential penis news, Warren G. Harding. I chuckled at that, but as I'm reading this, I was like, you know, when I first started working at OSU, I worked at the old Harding Hospital, which was his brother's hospital. It was a lunatic asylum. It was crazy. It had all the different buildings. It was like a straight-up asylum. Harding used to write love letters to his mistress where he referred to his penis as Jerry. Jerry. Jerry Springer. I'm fucking Rick and Morty, but okay. Dear Martha, Jerry and I miss you. Jerry says hi. Jerry longs to be inside of you. And according to biographers, President Lyndon B. Johnson, since we're having fun here, named his penis Jumbo and would often whip it out and show his dick off to staff. And we're worried about what Trump's doing. Meanwhile, Lyndon B. Johnson's got this fucking giant hog that he's wiggling. Look at this, son of a bitch. He does that Jason Mewes thing, or he just leans back in the car. Is it cold in here? Why is this dick out? Because it's cold in here. And speaking of jumbo, bull elephants have a prehensile penis that is so big that it can act as a fifth leg. An erect bull elephant penis can actually swat away flies, scratching elephants undercarriage, and act as a stool to help steady the animal. That's a kickstand. I don't know if you guys would really be able to see it here, how well you'll be able to see it off of my phone screen. Turn down your brightness, yeah. But it does look just like this sumbitch has a third leg. Oh, my. It's like he's got a gimpy leg, but okay. He's just getting ready to... Yeah, man. It's way like four tons, dude. Hey, look. Don't knock the man's hustle, all right? Hey, I'm not mad at it. You get a lot out there joking about, oh, no, third leg? My dick's so bad. This son of a bitch literally has a fifth fucking leg that he can use. And it will swat flies away. That's kind of impressive. Swat flies, scratches belly. He can use it as a kickstand to steady himself. I'm sitting here thinking of like a Kung Fu Panda type movie, but with that elephant and he's like the crotch food guru. I can take the hardest thick punch of all. If that elephant practices crotch brew, we're all fucked. All fucking fucked. Can you imagine getting fucked up by an elephant dick? Because I like to party. That's why I put the cocaine in my dick. Wally said, try it, Jeff. I had to put the caveat on the beginning of that so Jeff didn't try it. You guys want to hear a fucked up story about cocaine and a dick? So when I was stationed in Guam, there was this fucking chick that worked out in the bomb dump and she was married, but she liked to fuck other dicks. And she got caught with another dude from the bomb dump fucking putting cocaine on his dick. I've heard that story. I've heard stories of people snorting coke off their dick. Or, you know, somebody else's dick. But it's like, thank God I don't do coke. Right? It was funny because everybody knew the story. That whole fucking story ran around the bomb dump. It was crazy. At that time. Dr. J.H. Kellogg of the cereal brand. We all know Kellogg's cereal. He was a weirdo. That dude's a weirdo. He advocated that children be circumcised in order to quell sexual urges. Kellogg thought that by administering a circumcision without any numbing or anesthesia, a young boy would associate masturbation with pain. The operation should be performed without administering any painkillers as the brief pain attending the operation will have a salutary effect on the mind, especially if it be connected with the idea of punishment, as it may well be in some cases. He wrote that soreness, which continues for several weeks, interrupts the practice. How did this not get shot by one of his patients? I'm just saying. And if it had not previously become too firmly fixed, it may be forgotten and not resumed. So here's something about, so for the very long time, the medical community thought babies didn't feel pain, like up until like 15 months. So anytime they would have to do surgery on a child that young, they would paralyze the child, of course, so they won't move around. But they wouldn't give the baby any anesthesia. So the entire time these babies are getting surgeries and they feel the pain. I found that out recently. I thought that was just like, oh, damn. What up, man? That is very horrible. Zippers are to blame for around 1,700 penis injuries a year. So go buy buttons. Yeah, or something. The Iceland Phallological Museum contains more than 280 penis specimens. It is thought to be the largest and most buried collection of penises in the world. And it also contains four human penises that were legally gifted to the museum. Yeah, we talked about that museum. We talked about that museum and we're going to go do a live show there and then take over security. Right? Alright, alright, alright. Here we go. We're coming into the home stretch. We're going to punch all 26 of these kids. Barnacles have the largest penises in proportion to their body size. A barnacle penis can grow up to 10 times the size of its body. All dick. That dude is all dick. That guy's a dick. Literally. Literally. That means how tall are you? I'm 6'2". 6'2"? That means your dick would be like 18 feet long. Yeah. Like 6'2", 6'3", something like that. Is that your bowl of food on the counter? No, I put my bowl in the sink. According to a 2011 study published in the Asian Journal of Andrology, people with shorter index fingers than ring fingers tend to have bigger penises. Be honest. You're looking at your right hand right now. I sure am. I sure am. Errol Flynn's penis was donated to scientific study because of the unidentified diseases he had upon his death. Jesus. Errol Flynn
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fuck everything that walk man
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um explains why my penis is so huge. Catherine the Great was a total perv and had tons of furniture pieces covered in dicks.
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Sadly, her collection of x-rated furniture was demolished during World War II, but she apparently was apparently a huge fan of penis furniture. I'm hoping that it was like wood carved into penis and not actual penises. She was Ed Gaines' number one fucking customer. Yeah, because that doesn't make you a pervert. That doesn't make you a pervert. That makes you a psychopath. She's got a hammer and nails and a knife cutting off dicks and nail them and furniture. No, it sounded like they were printed on or like screen, not screen hand-painted dicks all over furniture. Or carved. Yeah, carved or whatever. Channing Tatum accidentally burned the head of his penis in an accident with hot water while filming the 2010 movie The Eagle of the Night. Does anybody even remember that movie? I've never even heard of that movie. I just saw a thing about it. I saw a poster board. I don't know anything about it. There's a rare disorder called penis captivus or captive penis when a man's penis can get so engorged with blood that his member gets stuck inside a woman's vagina during intercourse. As Dr. John Dean explained to the BBC, not big black cock, Jeff. Don't get excited. I know what BBC is. British Broadcasting Hill. So does your porn search history. No. So the muscles of the woman's pelvic floor contract rhythmically. At orgasm, while those muscles contract, the penis becomes stuck and further engorged. Ouch. That's what happens to dogs. Yeah, I was going to say, that's what happens to dogs, but not. Yeah. You got to, what? In the second Despicable Me, in the background, there's two minions. They're both hitting each other with a hammer, but then the other one knocks the other one out. He's like scared. So he gives them CPR. Then when he gets them back up, he kisses them all over. Unlike many other mammals, humans don't have a baculum. They don't have a what? A baculum. Or penis bone. What's a baculum? Penis bone. Researchers think that humans may have evolved from having about vacuum when we decided on monogamy as a means of forming family units. With the reduced competition for mates, you are less likely to need a baculum, explains Research Kit Opie in the 2016 Guardian article. Did you go to war with your actual boner? That's why it's called a boner. The penis on a statue of Hercules in... This is in France. What is it? I don't know how to pronounce it. Archion? Arch? Archachon? Yeah. Nobody cares. It's fucking France. But anyways, the penis of Hercules in France kept getting stolen. So the artist created a detachable penis for the figure, for the statue. Nice. Somebody was coming by with a chisel and hammer and they're just like, ping, ping, ping, ping, ping, ping. Oh, there it is. Got it. Going home, and I was just walking to somebody else's house. Click, what is that on your wall? Oh, that's Hercules' penis. I got bored here today. Got it. That's the Hercules. You want one? They got a new one out there. We'll go get it. Get your chisel. Get your chisel, Click. I got an idea. It's so much easier now. Do they detach it at night? Maybe they just... Because it's detachable, they probably take it off at night so people can't steal it. Maybe since it keeps getting stolen, they just made it detachable so that you don't damage the statue. you know how at night you take down the flag? They just do it with his penis. I think it's more so that the statue... Basically, if you're going to go steal Hercules' penis, all you have to do... Polluting the penis? They made it easy for the... Basically, all you have to do now if you want to go steal the penis is unscrew it and go home. Hercules, Hercules. Hercules, Hercules. Says Mandy in the chat. That's what I want you to do. We need to go to France, steal Hercules' penis, and run around going, Hercules, Hercules, as we run around. Right? So, according to a... Hercules, Hercules! According to a 2015 study from the British Journal of Urology International, the average penis size is 3.61 inches flaccid and 5.16 inches erect. The more
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do do do
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you know. And in case you were wondering, a teaspoon of semen contains between five to seven calories. Ladies, semen is low in calories. It's good for you. High in protein. I heard something the other day that there's more life in semen than there is in blood. Why don't vampires suck dick? I'm just saying. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is all I have. Wait a on. I do want to do this real quick because we talked about it. The double dick dude. Yes, this man has two dicks. Maybe the most famous post in Reddit history. This post started as a photo and snowballed into some of the most fascinating AMAs ever. One Redditor summed up the points of his AMA and listed the best nuggets of information. This is Ask Min from Reddit article, and I'll get into this, but because we already talked about it. I don't know. I'm going to be the guy with two dicks. What? And I'm the pervert. I'm just saying. And I'm considered the pervert. She's like, I'm fucking doing two dicks. We've already had that discussion. One in each one. We can just pretend. We'll buy a strap on and I can pretend. Each dick is straddling the paint. I put dinner away, but I left it out. I got it out of the whatever. I left it out in case you were still hungry. The more you know. Yes, both of his dicks can get hard. The smaller one gets harder but takes longer. His dominant dick, which pees a bigger stream and shoots a majority of the semen when he orgasms, is the one that is the biggest and hardest. No, he does not have... He has an alpha dick and a beta dick. It's like the children's toy that you put in the yard to attach those, the water. The elephant. The water weasel. His dick just does that, but twice. He can sword fight in his own pants. Yeah. I'm just saying, my wife gets mad and if I can let him pee on the seat, this poor bastard, he just does it all the time. Even if he sits down. No, he does not have four balls. He has two. His alpha dick is roughly seven inches, give or take how turned on he is. His smaller dick, when full size, is about six inches. I feel so bad for this guy. I mean, he's got 13 inches. That's not bad. He's got 13 inches combined, and he can hit both holes at the same time. Yeah, but she can also be like, I feel like taking all the big ones. I want the little one today. I want the big one. I need the big one today. Sensitivity. Both dicks are equally sensitive, but he thinks the nerve endings are more receptive in his alpha dick. He can jerk off both and says that he does on occasion. He does it a lot more than on an occasion. He milks that fucker. Get the rhythm going. I'm in. That's awesome. To be in Jeff's head right now. Right? He says he usually jerks his right dick and the softer, smaller one just flops around while he does. How's it hanging left and right? Best sexual experience? A three-way with a chick and another dude. From what he tells me, the dude was straight. He was straighter than having a dick in his hand. I'm just saying. Yeah, he said, from what he tells me, the dude was straight, but when he saw Double D's dicks, he ended up playing with them and sucking them with the girl. I'm sorry. Just because you pull out two dicks out of your pants, it's not going to turn me gay. I'm not going to be like, hmm. I've got no idea. It's not going to happen. Yeah, they're already a little gay. Like, guy pulls out two dicks and all of a sudden, yes, queen. Yes, girl. That just changes the whole entire trip. If you're going to suck any dick, you got to be at least thinking about it. Oh, look, a cock. Because if a guy pulls out, if I'm like, you know... If a guy drops his pants and he's got two dicks, my first thought is going to be like, nice, bro. Yeah, exactly. I got so many questions. But my first thought is like, I need to suck that. Yeah, that's not going to be a thought that even comes into my head. Bro, you got two dicks. I ain't never sucked a dick before, let alone two at the same time. We're going to knock some shit on my bucket list tonight. I'm not gay, by the way, but... Yeah, I don't like it. This is my only opportunity to suck two dicks at once. Holes. He says that he has had them both in a girl's vagina and in a girl's ass. And he's had them both in a guy's ass. And he's had them both in a girl's ass and vagina at the same time. So they apparently, they do kind of... He can split it. He can straddle the taint. Yeah, he can ride the taint. That would be kind of cool to be able to do that. I don't know if I'm jealous or curious. I know. Right? I don't know. You're never going to hear a story of like, I was hanging out with two Dick Bob over here and I got bored and decided to suck his dick. You're not going to hear that story because it's not going to happen. It doesn't say if the guy-girl threesome was a couple or not, but I guess when in Rome. When in Rome, choke on the chrome. His name was Rome. Yeah. Ejaculation. When he shoots his load, the bulk of it comes out of his right dick. Some dribbles out of his left dick, and he usually has to milk it out of his left dick. Afterwards, he also said that once he pinched off his right dick while he came, the semen squirted harder out of his left dick. So he could like pinch it off like a hose and put a kink in it. Which means he can leave the love butter on her stomach without taking it out. No, no, no. He can leave it on her face without fucking moving very far. Just grab a hold and pinch it. Pinch it real quick because I'm about to blow, baby. I'll get you a towel after. He got that money shot. And then the last thing here is surgeries. It says he has no desire to have one of them removed. He did have to have one minor surgery in his teens to help split, to split, to help the split in his urethro form, form more completely. It had been ballooning inside from the pressure where his dick separated And they put catheters in him and did some minor surgery to make a Y, a Y intersection. Heal properly. So again, he can pee out of both of his dick. I've been here thinking like mechanic wise, you're putting in a Y split. So he's right dicks. Yeah, he's right dicks. If I'm born with two dicks and they both work properly and they're seven and six inches. I'm keeping them. If I wake up and I have two dicks like this dude, I'm going to be in the good movies tomorrow. I didn't come in you. Proof is on your belly. Proof is in the pudding. I'm just saying, I'm going to be in the movies. Right? Why isn't this dude in the movies? The good movies. You know? The good movies. I'm not quite sure what the good movies is. There's good porn and there's bad porn. Bad porn is what you see on Skinamax where they don't show anything but boobs. I'm wondering if there's a picture of this. Well, I'm sure there is. How many people? One in every 5.5 million. There's about 600 to 700 cases of it around the world. Blaze just found it. I don't need to share it with the rest of the class. I don't know if we can. I can't. This is for educational purposes. One of these videos is labeled guy with two dicks fucks a hottie. I'm just going to put it up. That's what I'm saying. Please do it straight to a porn. I mean, I bet you get paid extra for that. I'm just saying. Probably. The more you know. The more you know. The more you know. That is for sure. That's the last of your stories, sir. I am much like that guy's penis. I am out of juice. I'm going to split. Juice, juice. Well, the more you know. And on that note, say hello to my little friends. You know, that would be my line. Porn is the good. Okay, here it is. Two penises. That's just a dramatic representation. Yeah. It's a recreation for YouTube safety. Well, gentlemen, on that note, what do you got to say to the people, Blaze? I want to make like two dicks and come extra hard. What are you talking about? Jesus, it's only Wednesday. What do you got to say to the people, sir? That's the news that makes us say what the fuck. Be good. Be good at it, motherfuckers. If you come across two dicks in an alley, fuck them. Or like his three-way friend, fuck it. Yeah, if a guy drops his trousers and he's got two dicks, there's only one thing to do. I'm going to do it twice. Give him that old hot two. Give him the hot hook. Don't forget tomorrow. You guys got a show tomorrow? I have two shows tomorrow, actually. Cash's Corner, about 5, 5.30. And then at 7 o'clock, it'll be a Thursday edition of Glick's House of Music. I'll be hanging out with singer, songwriter, actor, screenwriter, producer, director, you name it, he's done it. Roland Jewett. Ask him if he sucked a dick. If the dude had to, because you said he did everything. Well, you said next week? No, he's doing that tomorrow. Okay, I was like, next week's Glicks of House of Music is going to be a tossback Tuesday, because Glicks on vacation. I'm on vacation. Yep. I don't know what Blaze has got up his sleeves. Next week, I am on vacation from the network. Yeah, but you're doing a staycation. You're staying home. I'm not on actual vacation from work. I'm just taking a break from the network. I still have to do my 9-5 gig. I still have to go to work. I'll be doing some social media stuff. You're going to be up here that Saturday, though, right? Yeah, yes. I'll probably come up that Saturday. I'll be up this Saturday. I'm left unsupervised this weekend. Uh-oh. Nikki and Austin are... I'm going to call a two-dick guy to come over to your house. I just want to interview him. I'm not doing anything. That's the dude we need to have on a Saturday night. My poor name would be Tony Two Pistols. Right? My rap name would be Two Cocks instead of Two Chains. There you go. Double barrel. Double barrel cock gun. Double barrel cock gun. Yes. Do a plump. Do a little. Instead of thug life tattooed on your stomach, it says dick life? Yeah, could you? I mean, just to like... I wonder if I could have that surgery done. Can you add one to it? Isn't that how they split it and turn it inside out? That's how they make a vagina. Just saying. True. I'm sure they can just 3D print the other half. I want it to be functional and I want it to work. They 3D printed a heart using a bio 3D printer. I'm just saying, if they could 3D print a heart, I'm sure they could 3D print a dick. Anyways, don't forget. 3D printed dick and put it right on your forehead. Like a dick of corn. I'd double dick of corn. I'd rock that. That would be the true definition of a dickhead. Tomorrow, you have two shows back to back? Basically back to back. Back to back? You're going to drop off and then come back on, or are you going to do them back to back? No, I'm going to have both studios set up. I'm going to drop off in cashes. I'm hoping to end cashes about 630. And then I'll be able to have a half hour, and I can get the invitation set out to roll. And huge shout out to Arliss for the hookup from the Southern Outlaws Band. Also, huge shout out to the Southern Outlaws Band. They are nominated for six awards. It is the International Red Carpet Music Association, I think is what it is. Arliss sent me a link. Arliss sent me a link the other day. It is... They're the newest member of the ACM, the Academy of Country Music. It's the one he sent me. Oh, no, wait. I had that all fucked up. I was thinking of something else. It is... Yeah, they are. It is the... Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, Earlis. I had that all fucked up. Nobody cares that you were on fucking... Well, I care, but... FPCM Media. Red Carpet... Yeah, the Red Carpet Award Show for Independent Artists. The International Red Carpet Award Show for Independent Artists by FPCM.media. They are nominated for Entertainers of the Year, Rock Original of the Year, Most Appreciated Band, Original Song of the Year, Cover Song of the Year, and Folk Original Song of the Year. Damn. And they are potentially...
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wheres it they are potentially to be nominated. Or they are up to be nominated. It's not official yet. For the Grammy nominations. Nice. Cross your fingers. Say your prayers. Do whatever it is you do. Send some good vibes out to our very good friends over at the Southern Outlaws Band. Great guys. Mama Sandy is amazing. A great group of people. And I got nothing but love for them. I truly do. And you're going to go live at 7 with the one they hooked you up with. Yeah, I'll be live at 7 tomorrow with Roland Gillette. And then Friday, what time are we going live on Friday, Blaze? 9 o'clock, Great Outdoors, watch it. Yes. Love that movie. I've seen it like 400 times. And then Saturday. Nobody asked you. Saturday, don't forget, Nonsensable Nonsense, the open door challenge. We're going to do it in the subscribe to actually leave a message. And then are you guys doing a show on Sunday? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Unnecessary Roughness will be on Sunday. No Jeff Garage this week because I can't be bothered. Don't forget bio.link slash nonsensical network. Yeah. And in there you'll find links to all our social media and including our merch store nonsensical-nonsense.myspreadshop.com and that is it for us tonight folks. We'll see you when we see you. Bye. A-
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beaches i
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We'll be
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nazis butga vo just right tune
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you next time.
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Always