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WTF News all the news That is news that makes you say WTF
30 Plays6 days ago
We're going to dive a little bit into history of weird crazy things and of course we're doing the penis report but with a twist or a gash bio.link/nonsensicalnetwork
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Transcript
Introduction and Casual Banter
00:02:57
Speaker
What is up, everybody? It is Hope Day, and you know what that means? It's Duh The Book News Wednesday! What was that? It's dirt to good to good news Wednesday. Sorry, my brain's off. Fuck you. You know what? the fuck wins are they bro That's what I said. Just.
00:03:19
Speaker
supposed of funny my good look at Anywho, it's me, Jeff, with your with your co-host for the evening. clickck How are you doing, sir? You had a long day, night. Fucking exhausted, bro.
00:03:36
Speaker
breaking news.
Personal Story: Appendicitis Experience
00:03:38
Speaker
Um, news, go ahead and run it down for us. Yeah, man. My oldest daughter was having some stomach issues. Austin, most of you guys that watch the shows on the networking, and you know, my kids are seeing popping in and I think I've been in and talk shit. Imagine that my kids talking shit. gra i know so and But my oldest one was having some stomach pains and wasn't feeling good. And she was basically,
00:04:05
Speaker
in tears last night. So while I was, while we were doing the show last night, and he came back and said she was taking her to the hospital. And of course, you know, every time you go to the hospital, they take your blood, they scan your cat, they touch your wiener, uh, which is weird because she don't have a wiener. I was saying, wait, Austin's got a wiener?
00:04:24
Speaker
Yeah, sure. I have a wiener and that guy wasn't a doctor, but nonetheless, whatever. mind your jani age yeah you warmmaa go with it yeah just smile ah So after ah several hours, I'm laying back here. I get a phone call two o'clock in the morning.
00:04:44
Speaker
She has appendicitis and she's fortunately, it's not at risk of rupturing. they They did catch it super early. The surgeon said today that she probably could have gone another three or four days ah before there was a major problem. because you know i was like We're the same way. you like We won't go to the doctor until we're dying. Oh yeah. I would have literally been half dead on the bathroom floor.
00:05:10
Speaker
And Nikki wouldn't have found me until she has done a watch. Um, yeah i'll be on and um so needless to say, I have been up since six o'clock yesterday morning. Uh, Nikki was up all night, uh, pretty much. She didn't come home and get a little bit of sleep before the surgery today. And then when we came back, she took a little nap. Um, so it has been a very,
00:05:37
Speaker
long last couple of days, but Austin is home. It was a, uh, outpatient. They were able to do outpatient surgery because it wasn't, um, it wasn't did your surgery anymore back in the day. it was so Yeah. If, if it would, if it had been more inflamed or if it had burst or whatever, she would have, she would have been admitted. Um, so we have that going on. And now of course, um,
00:06:06
Speaker
I agree with but Wally here. He says, we're glad, we're, everybody's glad she's okay. Yeah, she's, she's, oh, she's sore, a little tired, a little groggy. But other than that, all in all, good it's just, yeah. Yeah. She's a good, tired, groggy, grumpy. Grumpy? Yeah. Sounds about right. That makes sense.
00:06:27
Speaker
That basically sums up my my mood tonight. So it's a normal fucking Wednesday. I'm not super grumpy. No, I'm glad she's okay. Obviously, we were we were all worried and concerned about her her. Yeah, you said you were getting ready to go get Tupperware.
00:06:48
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I made it. I did. I did. I did. I'm sticking with my emergency pick of Austin, and I'm calling it. She's only maybe got maybe seven days. I'm sorry. She's not famous enough. You're just not famous enough. I mean, she's a celebrity's kid, though. Yeah, but calling you a celebrity is like calling me Peyton Manning. I mean, I'm the world champ. I mean, I'm the world champ.
00:07:12
Speaker
That's a perfect fucking analogy. I 30, 30, 30, 30 plus times over. I've lost count at 30. I'm like, fuck it. I'm not counting anymore. It's 30 plus times. I'm the greatest champion in the world at this point because nobody has more championships than I do.
00:07:29
Speaker
like you yeah but and then this exactly chance then this fake channel yeah then this picture yes changing the rules just like cash yeah see one how does a chair i mean i' will change one like wall he tells it i straight I haven't changed any rules. Uh but uh but uh Yeah. So, so that's been, that's been exciting, which just pile on everything else that I've got going on currently. Why not have one of my kids have to go in and have kind of a major, minor. That was my first thought. I was like, yeah, cause Glick needs more fucking girls. A minor, major surgery. You know what I mean? Uh, but yeah, so she's, she'll be off work tomorrow. She'll go back Tuesday. Her boyfriend's going to come over.
00:08:18
Speaker
Obviously nikki has to go back to work tomorrow. I gotta go back. So, uh, so various is gonna That kid's gonna snap one day if I don't learn his fucking name but That's okay. He's been dating austin. How long i've never even Learned his name. I refuse to until I get married yeah, uh He's gonna come over and spend the night. I think he's gonna wind up spending the weekend Uh, just to help out, help her out and whatnot. Cause I told him, I said, you sleep on the couch and, uh, you have to share the couch with, you have to share the couch with cash and if he moves.
00:08:55
Speaker
You come and get me and I said, you see, I got a gun. I got a knife. I've got a machete. I've got a ball bat. I've got a guitar. shoes-shirt I've got nu the position I played in football and garden tackle. yeah I've got belt shoes,
00:09:11
Speaker
yeah choose choose your weapon of destruction. So, but now she's a, she is good. However, um, speaking.
Celebrity Death Pool Discussion
00:09:22
Speaker
of the celebrity death list. Uh, your boy is making moves, they can so make it move making moves again. I mean, we're, we're barely into February and I've already blown my second of three emergency picks on David Johansson. I think this one's going to bite you. I think this one's going to bite you because you're great. By the way, I'm just saying I don't, I don't, I don't think so. David Johansson, uh,
00:09:48
Speaker
former the last surviving singer last surviving member of the New York Dolls and ah for all of you 80s one-hit wonder fans uh he had uh he created an alias well not an alias an alter your ego buster poindexter and had the hit song in 87 china It's like, yeah if you Google it, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. I was going to say, yeah, he's going to Jimmy Carter your ass. I agree in with Wally. And Jeff movie guy, movie buff guy. I know you guys watched this during the Christmas season. He was the ghost of Christmas past in Scrooge with Bill Murray. Okay. Okay. So yeah, now I got to look him up. Oh, he's the cab driver. He was the cab driver. Yeah.
00:10:39
Speaker
Okay. I know who he is now. He's the most recognizable face in that movie because he's, he's iconic in that movie. He has a distinct face. Y'all are extremely like Facebook. Yeah. So unfortunately,
00:10:55
Speaker
unfortunately uh, he has been battling, I mean, big, big up major ups to him. He has been battling stage four cancer for the last decade. He was diagnosed with, um,
00:11:09
Speaker
uh doesn't say what what type of cancer but he but he's also but but he's also got a goddamn brain tumor and then on thanksgiving he fell down the stairs and broke his back so since thanksgiving he has been bedridden because he can't move he can't do anything And as I told you, Jeff, and the clo Homeboy is fucking wreck. Well, and as I told you, when you're like, he's not going to die, I'm like, this motherfucker makes Mick Jagger look young, scrying. He's going to pull off a full Jimmy Carter and wait till one day after.
00:11:49
Speaker
Ah, man. I don't know. Ali's finally end, and he's going to Jimmy Carter you so hard that he's going to be on your list of people you're going to go after in the act. Well, as I said. And I think the entire group of us are all rooting for that except you. I think there are people on my list. Well, there are people on everybody's list.
00:12:15
Speaker
I don't even remember, that like like I had Diddy on there. I don't think Diddy's gonna die. I had Christina Applegate on there. I don't think she's gonna die. um There are people that I think are gonna survive the year. right But I don't have the, the pressure's not on anybody like like it was on Jimmy Carter last year because who the fuck goes into hospice and then lives for two years in hospice? Jimmy Carter.
00:12:41
Speaker
Yeah. Fuck you, Jimmy Carter. You just say, I'm just saying, I mean, you you asked for cancer. and I gave it to you anyways. we're like Look, look, man. We, we, we, we changed things up with the angel of death competition. We all agreed on it to make it a little bit more spicy, a little bit more entertaining, entertain ah yeah a little bit more competitive. And there's the angel death list. And, uh, you know, um,
00:13:09
Speaker
when they're blacked out. on I did change the color of David Johansson's name showing that that's one of your goals. Blackheart was one of your goals that he did die. But, you know, i'm ah I'm over here, you know, I'm having a pair of balls. I'm not afraid and make to make a risky move.
00:13:33
Speaker
Make a little wager, if you want. No one said I was afraid. I just have it. We don't have time to read news. Also, Joe Henson wasn't even on my death watch. I just happened to get a news article about him did yeah this morning as I'm sitting in the hospital. That dude's not in the fucking news, let's be honest, ever. As I'm sitting in the hospital this morning, I'm like, oh, I know him. Damn, are you sure he's not already dead in that hospital bed? go you look I'm a little worried. But so if you're saying he's alive for the time being, I'm going to go ahead and pull the trigger. Notice I'm not calling my shot on him. i'm just I was just going to ask, are you thinking about calling your shot? I'm i'm going to i'm going to monitor this situation very, very closely. And I might call the shot down early. The next 11 months.
00:14:26
Speaker
But what's going to happen is the same thing I have with with black bark. I was going to call my shot on him on a Saturday. And then he died on Friday night. and I was like, God damn it. I should have called my shot in the comments. So your shot is is is a really busy move. It's it's so ballsy because you can get the negatives fucking quick and That or or that? There's nothing worse than not getting any than getting in a bunch of logics. I don't remember what the what the hit is if you call your shot and they don't die in that seven days. when i have it here So calling your death is what we're calling it. ah you
00:15:06
Speaker
So when you call your shot, you have seven days. If they die in that seven days, you get two points. If they don't die, you lose a point. So you only lose negative. haunt you You remove one. But if you if you make an emergency pick and they don't die in that year, you lose. That would make it four. he lose You lose what? Two points if they don't die in the year? Correct. if they if you So if he doesn't die this year, your five points will become two.
00:15:34
Speaker
because you're only going to get those five anyways. No, if he doesn't die, it'll become three. That's what I said. You'll lose, too. Yeah. Yeah, you'll lose, too. Yeah. So, I mean, like I said, it's a... I think you should call your shot and not let him die. That way, you have two points. No, no, no, no, no, no. Come on. Take a risk. Don't do this. See, that's like being a gambler and going to the casino and playing Blackjack.
00:16:02
Speaker
And you and you hit 20 Can't count to five without you. Yeah, you you have 20 on the board. You're like hit me 99 99.99 percent of the time you're gonna go you're gonna go over you know, you're gonna bust Nobody asked it's like a 52 percent chance Keep it up, Wally. I don't want to take your co-host away from you. There you go. but Well, speaking of news and breaking news, last week, and this was, I think this happened on, well, it was actually three days ago on, because I have it here, three days ago, damn it, I keep opening the wrong thing, three days ago to the, there was a massive
00:16:52
Speaker
8.0 earthquake in the Caribbean Sea, not far from me.
Earthquake Near Cancun
00:16:58
Speaker
And we are still on tsunami watch. um Are you the blue dot? No, we're correct. We are the blue dot.
00:17:08
Speaker
Okay. Oh, wow. Yes, not too far from it. Not too far. To the point where there are videos of people here in Cancun healing, like the the the higher rise buildings, their their windows are shaking. i didn't fit My power went out for about five minutes and I was like, what the hell? Because I was watching. Energy saving. I was like, an count oh, But it went out and I was like, that's weird. And then my wife sent me a message. She's like, did you feel it? And I was like,
00:17:37
Speaker
Feel what? She's like the earthquake. Must have you, no. Where can who was it away. Let's be honest. You asked your wife that question before. Don't be shy. Do you feel it? No. But it's one of those things. It's like, apparently, you know, ah where where you see the red area on Nicaragua here. Like what you say? They got what? Nicaragua. I said it correctly. Yeah.
00:18:04
Speaker
um I'm being very clear and speaking plainly and speaking slowly. Thank you, Jason. it my boss He might be watching. ah Um, they actually got like water. It's so it's showing a picture here of water up to the windshield of most cars. Wow. Well, better get your cousin on and go some gills. I'm not worried about it both.
00:18:32
Speaker
Because even during a hurricane, when it floods here, it never gets up to my house. Because I'm i'm a good, what is it? 15, 20 miles from the coast? I'm not worried. I thought you were closer to the water than that. Maybe it's loose. it takes ah It takes a half hour to get to the hotel zone, which is right on the coast. And that's with no traffic. With traffic, it's But yeah, I'm not worried about it.
00:19:01
Speaker
um I don't think anybody else is, but it's one of those things where it's like, huh, didn't know that could have happened in this area. Mexico City gets earthquakes all the time. I think it was last year or the year before, one of the buildings fell down. And there was videos where it was it like took forever while in Croke and then Saturday. Jeff will be underwater Saturday. Exactly. If I'm not work tomorrow, that's because a tsunami hit. But eight,
00:19:33
Speaker
0.0 earthquake. That's not small quake. I didn't even know we were as close to a tectonic plate. But apparently, I was wrong. I'm just saying, global warming. I'm blaming. But yeah, I thought that was interesting.
00:19:53
Speaker
I need to say this so I don't forget about it. Well, say that so you don't forget about it. I remind you. Yeah, I already did. I'm in the clear. I didn't need you to. Hey, that's what I do, buddy. I remind you of things that you need to do.
00:20:15
Speaker
There it is. I wish I put my rings on during the show and I forgot to put them on. um Yeah, no, I just... But yeah, like I said, it's... I would... I mean, you can see how far away it was. It's less than 100 miles.
00:20:31
Speaker
I mean, sure. there i'm I'm guessing, I don't know. But it's ah not in the Gulf of America. I see what I did there. It's below. Because that's official now. Like, if you go on Google Maps, it's literally been changed. Have you seen this? I gotta show you this. You'll get a kick out of this. Check this out. This is Google Maps ah two days ago.
00:20:59
Speaker
What do you see there? and I heard that they changed it. Yeah, it's official. FYI, if you immediately started calling the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America because someone told you it was a new name, you are very capable of respecting trans people's names and pronouns. That's courtesy of my broster. Wait, what? Say that again.
00:21:21
Speaker
If you immediately started calling me Gulf of Mexico, the Gulf of America, because someone told you it was its new name, you are very capable of respecting trans people's names and pronouns. I'm calling Nick right now. I'm on bitchy mouth. Like, shut the fuck up. I would respect your names if you weren't something. Anyways, I've just seen that as we were talking. you brought up You brought it up, but it was sitting right there in front of my face and I'm like, oh my God, shut up, Nick.
00:21:50
Speaker
fuck Well, once again, it was it was it was one side of the aisle that was changing names of everything. You know, there are certain schools that got named, statues were taken out. So we're just changing one more thing. i'm just like Well, and in a lot of those statues, eyes open the door out a lot, you know, so now that the new new people are the new administration is changing ship back to the original names.
00:22:18
Speaker
I don't blame them because you can't just whitewash themselves or erase your hand. My delete button does not work like that, buddy. I'm trying. Unfortunately, I'm trying to delete you like 400 times. It doesn't work. I'm trying to delete myself. I got you. I got you. I was ahead of that one because I knew you were going to use it against me.
00:22:44
Speaker
But walk um to walk up po what is your first story? I know you have some really so much news of what the fuckery, but it is something that we do every year. So not this Saturday because breaking news. I won't be here this Saturday. Um, well, I just found that out the other day. Um, apparently Nikki has something planned for Valentine's day. Um, she's gonna, I don't know.
00:23:12
Speaker
I mean, you better do it quick before my life, and while my life is trying to fall, she's still acting.
00:23:21
Speaker
stuff get her but here my the budy's beauty in the beard of course
00:23:30
Speaker
sorry Uh, not this Saturday, but next Saturday we will be doing a yearly thing because the 2025 rock and roll hall of fame nominees have been announced. This, I literally just got this right as we were starting to show really the nominees for the rock and roll hall of fame. This year are English rock, super glue group, bad company, not mad at it. Uh, Southern blues rockers, the black crows, not mad at it.
00:23:57
Speaker
I'm not mad at that. Powerhouse singer, songwriter, Mariah Carey, but... Bass. Early rock and roll, hit maker, shubby checker, not mad at it. I like that. Late blues belcher, Joe Cocker, not mad at it. I like Joe Cocker. Radio friendly punk rocker, Billy Idol, let's fucking go, baby.
00:24:25
Speaker
Uh, post-punk turned dance rock pioneers, Joy Division, new order. Uh, not mad at that. Uh, they've been up for a nominee a couple times. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Uh, pipe icon, uh, Cindy Lauper. I'm not mad at that. I love Cindy. Uh, Mexican records, manna. I think I'm pronouncing that right. Manna. Manet. Sure. I don't know.
00:24:53
Speaker
Uh, Brit pop legends, Oasis, get fucking bent, Oasis. Yes. I like one of those songs, but that's it. Hip hop favorites, outcast. Let's fucking go. Andre 3000, a big boy. Jam Band, Standard Bears, Fish, Get Fucked. Wait, Fish? Yes. Yeah. Grudge Ship Makers. Sound Garden. Let's go.
00:25:21
Speaker
Not mad at that. And rock minimalists, the white stripes, get fucked. Pass. Although, ah more than half of the nominees, eight of them, to be exact, are first timers on the ballot. Bad Company, Black Crows, Chubby Checker, Joe Cocker, Billy Idol, Mana, Outkast. Chubby Checker should have been there years ago.
00:25:43
Speaker
Yeah, you would think, um, so they will announce, so they'll announce the, uh, the hall of fame inductees in April. So not this Saturday, but next Saturday, we'll get the, we'll do our fix the, uh, we'll get the, uh, network together. We'll get everybody up and, um, we'll, we'll see who we think we'll get in. And then in April, we'll, uh, we're doing this competition style like we did last year, right? Um, did we do a competition style last year? I don't know. Did we just pick picks?
00:26:11
Speaker
I think we just make pics just to see if we're a writer, you know, because I know we all have different opinions, but I think we just think we're goingnna have a whole lot of difference of opinions on this one, buddy. I think we might. We're not a whole person that thinks Mariah Carey needs to be in the rock and roll hall of fame as Nick Cannon. So we can get Katie. Probably Wally is a huge Mariah Carey fan. Hey, as long as she can be quiet and just sit there and look pretty, I'm not mad at her. I'll find her. okay I do. I do. Well, she has a pulse and holes. Right? Breathing. Idol is vital, man. Hell, yeah. Hell, yeah. I don't need this as the big biker guy said in the winning singer. Don't you talk to Billy Idol like that?
00:27:02
Speaker
don't talk to i like Yeah. Jimmy Carter needs to be in the rock and roll Hall of Fame, right? but In two weeks, we'll get the guys together. We'll get everybody up on a Saturday. We'll do it early in the show, and we'll make our picks of who we think is going to get into the Hall of Fame this year. There you go. Not really a what the fuck news segment, but it is something. It's one of those things that we've done every year since we started doing the show.
00:27:32
Speaker
ah so We kind of stumbled across it that first year and went with it. Oh, I got to download something. Or maybe not. This is not on here. I can switch. OK, so we're going to take a real quick break. And while we do that,
00:27:50
Speaker
ah good Friday, Friday, but Friday, Friday, Friday is our friends. The Southern Outlaws has new album coming out and I'm going to switch over to one of our other channels. oh that's what for you is I'm pretty sure they're and you come tonight they have their new album nope follow soon called Outlaws and Bikers coming out. And this is their song. She can't even eat dinner. herself But I don't know if she would even want him. This is their song. Yeah.
00:28:20
Speaker
From that album, we'll be right
00:31:27
Speaker
Yeah, that was... Southern Outlaws Band will watch you burn on their new album, Dropping Friday. No, the new song's Dropping Friday. I don't think it's the album. No, I thought, I'm pretty sure all of a sudden Friday, the 14th, was the album. The song. We'll find out Friday.
00:31:52
Speaker
And I'm going to be right. So anyways, welcome back everybody to what the fuck news. Yeah, don't forget bio.link slash nonsensical network. Scroll on the bottom of your screen. Go on there, hit the like share and follow. And of course, don't forget in that same link, you'll find beauty in the beard creative corner where you can get our merch and of course your own personalized merch. You don't have to get our stuff. Just get something.
Salesforce AI Hiring Irony
00:32:18
Speaker
All right, so let me get rid of that. We don't need any more. Glick, not to put your business out there, even though we already have, you're looking for work. he Well, I have a job for you. No. The company's sales force is hiring a thousand salespeople. By the way, real quick i real quick, by the way, February 14th, is the new single Watch You Burn off the album Outlaws and Bikers that is yet to be released. Okay, copy that. I was right. She was wrong. and a Single out of my CD. It's an album. Calm down. Anyways, Salesforce is hiring a thousand salespeople to sell, and this is this is rich. They're hiring a thousand people to sell AI tools to replace salespeople.
00:33:16
Speaker
does It doesn't make sense. But AI to replace. So Salesforce is a like company, pretty much, apparently. So Salesforce, they've created an AI tool that will replace salespeople. But they need to hire a thousand people to sell the tool.
00:33:39
Speaker
Doesn't sound like it works to me.
00:33:44
Speaker
I don't know. I'm currently being replaced because they want to save money by two people that cost twice as much per a person. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'll sell it. I don't know how long it'll move around because once they sell a thousand people, that's a lot, man. I was going to say that sounds very temporary. Yeah, I was going to say because once it catches on, you're literally, I mean, however, I suggest a bunch of salespeople take these jobs and then just fuck up completely.
00:34:14
Speaker
so it doesn't sell, so we keep our jobs wherever we sell. I'm just saying, you know, I'm a salesperson, Rick's a salesperson, save our jobs. Anywho, but yeah, i thought i I heard that and I read it and I was like, hey, it kind of defeats the purpose of having the AI if you need people to sell the AI because it can't sell itself, apparently. Yeah, I mean, I guess. What are you going to do, What are you going to do, Rick?
00:34:45
Speaker
Because part of the job of sales is not selling the product. It's selling yourself. So if the AI can't sell itself, it obviously doesn't work, which would be my pitch. Just hire me and I'll take care of it. I was going to say, yeah yeah, you would think that the AI can sell itself. Well, let's, you know, they they sell, they say a good salesperson doesn't sell a product. He sells himself. So I'm just saying. Well, you're used to selling yourself on the streets. I am.
00:35:15
Speaker
I get it. What the hell are you talking about, Zambios?
00:35:24
Speaker
Mm hmm. Hey, picking fruit. Yeah, I know. Yeah, because nobody else could do it. What's that line? What's that line from teaching? Start with strawberries and work your hips up to the guy.
00:35:42
Speaker
i couldn't do it I love that movie. I do not know. But yeah, I just thought that was kind of weird. It's like, what's the point? It's a temporary gig. If you do really good, you're literally working yourself out on the job. And if it was any good anyways, it would they would just implement it and make it work. So. Oh, no, man. Oh, Zampia's got it. Yeah.
00:36:13
Speaker
Uh, real quick, before I get into my next story, just a little sidebar that all'll I'll, I'll dive more into on, on, on Sunday. Well, yeah, I don't know. We'll have to, maybe, maybe Saturday, maybe Saturday, I'll go into it. I'll go into a rant. No, I won't be there Saturday. Fuck. Okay. I'm going to do it now. It is what the, it is what the fuck news. It is sports related. I'm going to do it now. and to go i'll take my now um I'm go into my little rant now. I think you'll like this.
00:36:42
Speaker
As we all know, the Super Bowl was this past Sunday and the Kansas City Chiefs were absolutely decimated dogshit by the Eagles, the Philadelphia Eagles. Shout out to Cooper DeGene, Barkley, Jalen and crew. There's only a few players on that team that I like. However, the city is disgusting and vile city.
00:37:09
Speaker
And the people of Philadelphia are disgusting, vile creatures. And if you're from Philadelphia and you no longer live in Philadelphia, you are still a disgusting, vile creature. I hate the Kansas City Chiefs. I did not want Philadelphia to win because I hate the city of Philadelphia. And Philadelphia, thank you for being in Philadelphia and showing your true colors once again.
00:37:31
Speaker
Super Bowl celebrations descend into violence, as wild video shows brutal mass street brawls and looting, as the fans of Philadelphia Eagles in Philadelphia destroy decide to destroy the city and try to kill each other. So congratulations, you sorry sacks of shit. You wanted Super Bowl, but you're still disgusting vile human beings. And that goes for
00:38:01
Speaker
ah job dick kid that Good That goes for everybody, whether currently living and or formerly from Philadelphia, you can take the garbage out of the city, but you can't take the garbage out of the garbage. Well, well, sir, let me, let me make you a little bit happier. So a temple student dies after, uh,
00:38:29
Speaker
He climbed a pole during the eagles fill the Philadelphia Eagles celebration, and he fell off. He died.
00:38:40
Speaker
ah Darwinism, my friend. ah You play stupid games. You win stupid prizes. Let's be honest. Yeah. yeah won be most and my I called the Eagles, what, like a week before?
00:38:57
Speaker
called However, if the Eagles would have lost, they would have, their win loss, I think it was, I read it somewhere, it was the win-loss ratio for them would have been 666. They had 166 games and lost 666 games. But they didn't. So, 665 and 667. 67, yeah. I did that math right, right?
00:39:25
Speaker
It's late. I can't count. Because I don't like Patrick Mahomes. He's He's a mediocre quarterback at best. He was the best player on the Eagles, man. Yeah. And and like you even said this while the game was happening, you were surprised I was watching. And the only reason I watched is because A, it was Super Bowl B, I had money on. And I'm so glad I bet on it because I won. Just barely. Yeah.
00:39:51
Speaker
Uh, yeah, I think Patrick Mahomes is severely overrated. He's, he's a below mediocre quarterback at best. And he reads a fat fucking slob. I've never liked him. And I just don't like kids the city because they're a bunch of fucking cheaters. I don't care what anybody says. tools And I'm still a little sore and I'm still a little butt hurt that they had to cheat to beat the fucking Cleveland Browns in the playoffs. I would have sent the Browns to the AFC championship where they would have absolutely destroyed the Buffalo bills and got onto their first ever Super Bowl.
00:40:21
Speaker
That would have been. But they had to cheat. They had to cheat to win. That would have been another prediction I made when we started this. Kermit the... Yeah, Kermit the Great. And I don't like his fucking stupid brother. And I don't like his stupid-ass wife. I don't like I don't like his stupid-ass wife. I think he's John Cena or some shit. It's un-American too, like the Kansas City Chiefs. They're red. You know who else is red? Russia. Tom, I said. They're communist.
00:40:50
Speaker
So it's un-American to like the Kansas city. There's only one good commie and that's Blaze. just there Better be dead than red. I'm just saying. Yeah. Well, but yeah but I'm not mad at that temple kid falling off a pole. That's Darwinism. And, uh, you know, uh, sorry, i stupid is stupid it does. Did you see what they did in, in, in, in certain areas of Philly, they greased the light poles because of the halftime show, they had showed that dude lay on a light, they greased the poles. Yeah, they do that in a lot of cities. I've never heard of that. I was like, you know, it makes sense after seeing that because I wanted to lay on that light post. That was cool. They do that. They do that in a lot of cities in preparation for
00:41:39
Speaker
championships or big games and stuff like that rivalry games and whatnot, because they don't want people fucking, hey, they don't want them climbing on the pole and dying, but they also don't want them destroying the poles. I did see a video of some Phillies fans carrying a pole down the street.
00:41:54
Speaker
Oh, dude, they were carrying poles. They were smashing in storefronts. They were they had never been so excited about anything that I would do that. They had these big man. There's videos, dude. There's videos. They're destroying the fucking city. But there's like videos of them with the like, you know, the big like big fireworks display, like boxes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Shoots the mortars. They're like shooting these mortars at each other. Don't lie, you've done that.
00:42:22
Speaker
No, not no. really you never saw oh not big one No, a Roman candle. Yes. I'm talking about the view. When you go to see, when you go to the store and you, yeah, like, and maybe you can get a box and you can light it. And it kind of does like a grand finale thing. Yeah. There's a video of a cat holding it.
00:42:41
Speaker
Pointing it at people until the the kickback knocks it out of his hand, which said it falls on the ground and just starts shooting everywhere. That's just like the fucking I was home. It wasn't me. Yeah. Because I know I'm going for it. Yeah. And unfortunately, they unfortunately, he probably did. And unfortunately, the people of Philadelphia are breathing. So like rats. Speaking of stupid people.
00:43:10
Speaker
And we all, well, it's no big secret how I feel about these assholes who do pranks on on YouTube and and and TikTok and stuff. I just want to see them all get shot. Just this one time. Yeah.
00:43:26
Speaker
ah you know But shout out to Texas. but You fucking morons. Teens were arrested over TikTok rank, asking elementary schoolers if they wanted to be kidnapped.
00:43:41
Speaker
Two teenagers were arrested in Texas after originally approaching a pair of elementary school children and asking if they wanted to be kidnapped as part of a viral tick tock prank, according to police, uh, Kane, uh, Valorail 19 and Lane birch 18, both
TikTok Prank Arrests in Texas
00:43:58
Speaker
residents of Kyle, Texas were arrested on charges of terroristic threats. Last Wednesday, the pair allegedly asked seven and nine year old, a 79 year old walking home from school. If they wanted to be kidnapped.
00:44:12
Speaker
Uh, the creepy comments, move the kids who quickly contacted their parents to let them know that of the strange encounter. And the parents contacted the Kyle police department and the teenagers were arrested and hopefully beat after death in their jail cells. They weren't, but however, if you're going to do something like this, what you're, what you're supposed to do is check with the parents first as like, Hey, you might've, we test your kid to see if he'd do something stupid like getting a band for candy.
00:44:39
Speaker
cause i've seen those videos and they you know that they go the book i mean that's that's ah yeah That's Kane and Lane both tried to defend themselves by saying that they were just acting out of tiktok rank that they had seen According to the Kyle PD public information, special specialist, Ashley Bradshaw, she told local outlets that the two teens tried to prank once near the school. and The two children attended pranks that involve a threat or potential threat to other people or property are illegal. You fucking dummies. And Texas is a type of state where you will get shot. Yeah, that's not, that's not safe to play around in. Yeah. Uh, blah, blah, blah. You know, of course.
00:45:22
Speaker
letter sent to the school letting the other idiot students know this is not okay. Don't fucking do it. You will go to jail. Play stupid game.
00:45:35
Speaker
And of course the kids are okay and then they praise the school for and the parents for teaching them, you know, stranger danger and all that crap. That's what I say every time I see you. Ranger danger. Yeah. What are you gonna do?
00:45:51
Speaker
Anyway, fucking more. Squash, Squatch, run! that that that Well, I want to lighten this up. Squatches are like ninjas. We'll just creep up on you. Hide and seek. Squash, motherfucker! Well, to lighten this up, I want to ask you a question, and I wish Austin's boyfriend was there so I could ask him too. um Your first date with Nicky, where did you guys go?
00:46:20
Speaker
I know you guys got a medal in TikTok and all that fun stuff, but where did you guys go on your first day to eat?
00:46:27
Speaker
Well, I met her at the bar she was working at. And the next day, we went to a little sports bar. Breakfast? No, no. Sorry. That was just too easy. That was a softball. I didn't knock that off. Okay.
00:46:44
Speaker
Yeah. And yeah, but I know, I know. I was born at night. Like I wasn't born last night. I'm just safe. Yeah. We, yeah. We like went out to eat somewhere the next, like the next, because yeah, she was bartending. So she didn't, you know, we just hung out there after hours. Like her, like there was a couple other employees and they're like, okay, we're hanging out. You can hang out with fucking brain. Well, the next day we, the next day we went out.
00:47:14
Speaker
When you guys went out to to your meal, where did you go? Did you go to a nice place? Did you go to a fast food joint? What's up? Nah, we went to a restaurant. We didn't go to like McDonald's. Well, as of... Perhaps. The 14th of last month, Chick-fil-A is the number one preferred first date spot for American males. All those guys are garbage. I'm calling it now.
00:47:43
Speaker
never ever okay first and foremost never ever in my life have i ever thought first date let's go get fast food and in my normal day-to-day life i never think oh i'm hungry i want to go get sorry ass sad chick-fil-a soggy sandwiches well yeah hold on i have a list i mean i would i want you to guess i want you to guess the top five first date spots
00:48:09
Speaker
Chick-fil-A, number one. Obviously, that's number one, yeah, go ahead. ah McDonald's. Number five.
00:48:20
Speaker
Oh, it gets better. Taco Bell, baby. Give me Taco Bell. Not on the list, not on the list, unfortunately. Is there any other fast food on there? They're all fast food, I'm sorry to say. Wendy's, Burger King, wah-wah. No, no. Dairy Queen Sonic, drive-in.
00:48:39
Speaker
and Pizza Hut are the top five. Dairy Queen does have food, some of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, no, they all have food. But I could see like an after dinner dessert thing on your first date. I wouldn't be i don't i wouldn't be opposed to Dairy Queen. I love Dairy Queen. Go on and grab a dinner. We just had a nice dinner. Let's go get some blizzards.
00:49:08
Speaker
66% of women would agree that the perfect first date is at McDonald's. I mean... And I'm calling bullshit because there's a whole bunch of chicks on TikTok. This motherfucker took me to McDonald's and didn't buy food for that kid. So I'm calling bullshit, but... I mean, you know, tonight didn the nice thing about a first date is you get to know each other You want to go someplace where you can sit down and maybe talk. I think movies are a bad first date. Yeah, but not for a first date because you can't talk. Understood, but I always did. See, my first date's always dinner and a movie. Dinner first, then a movie. So you get to know each other over dinner, then you go and you don't watch the movie the whole time.
00:50:03
Speaker
But yeah, I thought that was weird, but the simple fact that I've never, like my first date, I have a routine. I do Olive Garden, because it's cheap and excellent. And then I go to the movies. That's my first date, because Olive Garden is not super classy. That was weird. I was dating in high school. We're adults. Dude, when the last time I was a date was fucking high school. So, you know. Yeah, no, I mean, no, I like,
00:50:29
Speaker
and I could, I could see this new generation that being a thing, fast food. It's quick. It's convenient. It's it's it's not, it's not super expensive. You can sit down and talk and get to know each other, but at the same time, you can go to a Texas road house and get ah a little bit nicer meal, still sit in Congress seat. Or right away i'm just saying if you're both, if you both like to have a couple of drinks.
00:51:01
Speaker
Yeah. If you'd like to have a couple drinks, if you both like to drink, go to a dive bar where it's low key, it's quiet, ish egg, set at the bar, maybe you order some bar food and conversate. But yeah, man, I don't know. But what the fuck do I know about first dates? I mean, I literally. Yeah. You're so quick to get engaged. You might get engaged by the time you get the fries. I'm trying to think.
00:51:30
Speaker
I'm sure to say. I wonder if they have, that you know what McDonald's needs to add? The Glick Special, you get a hamburger, fries, a drink, and an engagement ring. I honestly think that Mickey was the first person that I actually had like, quote unquote, first date with. You never took Courtney out for a meal before you guys. Well, I mean, you going I mean, like, since yeah you know, like, like since Courtney and I dated, like when we first started talking, but like, yeah, I don't think I ever did like the whole first date thing with the others after Courtney before Nikki. Yeah. The last date I was on before I met my wife was and updates was was in high school. And then everybody else I've dated since then it's like, Hey, what's up? How you doing? Let's go to the bar. And that's, you know, and then,
00:52:26
Speaker
Yeah. Like we went, we went on dates and stuff, but that, that yeah. But after you're dating. Yeah. Yeah. But I, yeah, I thought that was weird because those five. Yeah. Because I, cause I went, cause I surprised Nikki. Cause we were, we were going to meet halfway and I just was like, what's an extra hour and a half drive. I can go a surprise her and then and have a gift and have a beer.
00:52:54
Speaker
Yeah. And then, you know, I had a couple of wires there and then, and then we hung out after, like I said, we hung out afterwards and there was a couple, you know, her manager and her boyfriend and Sarah. It was just like, I guess it was kind of a first date hanging out there and chit-chat and drinking and whatnot. And then we went out the next, like the next, the next evening. Which will technically be a second date or whatever.
00:53:16
Speaker
Well, yeah, I just thought that was weird. It was like a weekend. That's not my first thought. Like, if I was going to ask somebody out on a date, I'd be like, yeah, and we'll go to McDonald's. What, are you broke? What, you don't like Abigail's? I swear to you. You're right. But you can order off the dollar, get you. Because I don't know if I like you that well. You can get that extra, extra apple pie. I was just saying. If you want an apple pie, I would. I'm not cheap. Find a good Brazilian to say hello. She's fine. I'll be right here, man.
00:53:46
Speaker
Like I ain't trying to fucking, I ain't trying to fucking shell out $200 on a first day. Like you got me fucked up. I agree. I might not like your ass. I might start talking to you in five minutes later. am I might not like you. So the fast food idea is not having so battery. I agree. It's, it's kind of like that. Let's meet for coffee thing, which is kind of, that was our generation, and our generation. There were so many coffee shops and ridiculous. And then Starbucks came along and took them over.
Fast Food as First Date Choice
00:54:16
Speaker
You're not a big coffee guy. I'm not a coffee guy. That's why you're a coffee. Anywho, I don't have anything wrong with coffee. Anywho, you know what? The other day you had, your Super Bowl Sunday, you had our boy on. So we're gonna play his little song here, Chevy Silverado, and we'll be right back.
00:57:06
Speaker
Well, Derek Wayne Douglas for your hair I didn't realize that is a short ass song. But it's so good, dude. I know yeah the other day, just because I sing along with like an idiot. Welcome back, everybody. Do what the fuck news? All the news is news to make safe. What the fuck? I have a little ah breaking news, not really breaking news. This happened. What was it? I have to actually look.
00:57:35
Speaker
um
00:57:38
Speaker
Yesterday, actually, my mom sent me something, buddy. And I'm going to show you some pictures. And as soon as I figure out, I said, well, I don't know why I'm doing this. I can really just do it on my computer. My mom sent me a video. So her neighbor's house caught fire. Now, as you know, my mom did move down to Florida. And let's see if I can do it here.
00:58:04
Speaker
and we So this happens about 50 feet from mom and dad's house in Florida. And I have a video from mom's ring camera of the neighbor's house. It's not the greatest view because the ring camera is in their porch. But check this out. I want you to see if you can see it. um And it's loading. So in the right hand corner of the video, you'll be able to see the fire actually start.
00:58:35
Speaker
Caught on mom's ring camera. And of course you see my mom being as short as I am, well actually shorter, leaving the porch. It's kind of funny. So it's just loaded in the back of the plate. Here it goes. 34 seconds. Hey. What?
00:59:01
Speaker
I can't see it. I don't know why, but I'm sure you can.
00:59:07
Speaker
corner right over there by the chair the same corner where mama's actually leaving the room we're leaving the area yeah i see it over there what the fuck it's like uh almost looks like a propane tank or something it's just like shooting Yeah, well, like I said, so what they did is when they moved down to Florida, they bought a ah lot and and they just have like a double wide trailer kind of thing because it's their summer area. This is before. That's the house from mom and dad's backyard. And then, unfortunately, and I say unfortunately, this was after.
00:59:55
Speaker
Damn. Well, yeah, I mean, if it's just a trailer, it's some bitch, man. Oh, great. Yeah, it went up quick. Mom said it was gone. And she said they, you know, they're kind of lucky. Okay.
Neighbor's House Fire Incident
01:00:05
Speaker
I think it was a wiring issue, is what Mom was saying. But unfortunately, so the house is a total loss. They only have their car left and some of their clothes. And they did lose two dogs, unfortunately, because the dogs couldn't get out of the house. So, yeah, they were they were not
01:00:27
Speaker
um when it happened somewhere like to bingo or some shit because they're old. But, yeah, I just thought that was kind of, wow, kind of holy shit kind of moment. Well, yeah, mom didn't say, like, I think they're, I think the the fire department and stuff are still um investigating what started because mom didn't say. She said,
01:00:51
Speaker
They were lucky that it didn't catch their place on fire because it was only 50 feet away. And as you see it, it kind of tore down some of their fence. a So, yeah, that's kind of scary, but I just wanted to share that. So shout out to mom and dad, but they're okay. Yeah. pizaia we' We're all the same age, 43. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. That's pretty wild. a Yeah. it was I literally,
01:01:18
Speaker
My mom sent me that like, uh, was it last night? And I was like, holy shit. wow looking wow marvelless um What's You're fan of Adam West, Batman, right?
Adam West's Humorous Orgy Story
01:01:36
Speaker
I mean, as much as any of us. Me or Arliss? No, you. Yeah.
01:01:45
Speaker
Well, I have a little story. A couple of decades before my time, but. Understood, but we used to catch some reruns when we were kids, you know, because it was the 7th. Well, so back in the day, this is dirty facts from history. So back in the day, Adam West and Frank Goresh, Goresh, Goreshine, sorry, Goreshine, who played Riddler on the Batman TV series, were both kicked out and
01:02:15
Speaker
the orgy ones because they were acting like happened to the Riddler the whole time. where they you were you were You were cutting out, you were glitching up. Oh, sorry. An orgy as in like, I'm going to do you, you do me, we'll do her. It was a group. And they wouldn't stop acting like Batman and the Riddler.
01:02:39
Speaker
So somebody was like, look, you guys got to fucking go. He's like, what do you mean, Batman? put And I'm like, you know what? I'm not mad at that because if I was Adam West, I would always act like Batman. Yeah. Well, yeah. six or But I saw that the other day and I died laughing because I was like, that you know what? Now I have a little bit more respect for Adam West because the guy is a method actor.
01:03:10
Speaker
you can He is somebody. He just couldn't get out of the backseat. I'm just saying. yeah Yeah. The backhand series is fucking hilarious. I'm just saying.
01:03:23
Speaker
that ah perfect
01:03:27
Speaker
Can you imagine leaving? Like, can you leave fucking Adam West and Frank Gores? They just wouldn't stop and act like fucking Batman and Riddler. You sprinkle me this, my man.
01:03:42
Speaker
Is it mine and hers or hers and mine? I just thought that was hilarious. You got something else? Oh, my God. Well, our stories, dumb people being dumb people, a woman's debt and 20 stab wounds was ruled a suicide.
01:04:09
Speaker
Now the pathologist admits he was wrong. you too The pathologist ah who ruled Ellen greenhouse Greenberg's death, a suicide said he was wrong to do so in a new sworn statement.
01:04:34
Speaker
The pathologist who ruled de-da to the the death of homicide before switching the ruling to suicide. Now says he was wrong. Greenberg, a 27 year old Philadelphia teacher. Once again, we're coming back from Philadelphia, a vile city, vile garbage, human beings that live there or are from there.
01:04:52
Speaker
the teacher was fat like the then The teacher was found dead with 20 stab wounds to the chest abdomen. I am i have a joke here, but it's way too easy and it's very ah offensive. 20 stab wounds. I'm going to but say this again. 20 stab wounds to the chest abdomen, head and back of her neck.
01:05:18
Speaker
was ruled a suicide. Now this came out in 2000. This happened in 2011, despite authorities ruling that Greenberg's death was a suicide after saying only her DNA was found on the knife and her clothing. Her parents have maintained the belief that their daughter was murdered. I'm not, I'm not a quarter. I'm not a detective. I'm not CSI. I'm not a pathologist.
01:05:41
Speaker
I think it's going to be very hard to stab yourself 20 times <unk> chest, back of the neck in the head. I'm going to play devil's advocate. devil's advocate um and playing devils i good on your suggestion. I started to watch that resident alien and the main character, he goes in to see a dead body. and The guy stabbed himself multiple times in the neck because he was poisoned, but it wasn't 20. It's a TV show. And yes, you could stab yourself two or three times in the neck.
01:06:07
Speaker
There it is. It's on its way. But but you're not going to stab yourself 20 times in the stomach, chest, head, neck, back of your neck. Yeah. Spasms. I'm calling spasms. Yeah. Yeah. Marlon Osborne, formerly of the Philadelphia Medical Examiner's Office, just said he said in a sworn statement that he should have not ruled Greenberg's death suicide, according to reports from Phil from the Philadelphia Wire and Pinlive.
01:06:36
Speaker
um
01:06:39
Speaker
On my consideration of the new information brought to my attention after leaving my position as a medical examiner in the city of Philadelphia, along with my original autopsy findings and information considered while I was actively involved in Ellen's case, Osborne wrote in the reported statement, which is part of the settlement agreement and a lawsuit involving Greenberg's parents. It is my professional opinion. Ellen's manner of death should be designated as something other than suicide.
01:07:08
Speaker
think it's ah Fucking you don't have to be very serious figure that out buddy. I'm saying Yeah When you've been stabbed 20 times, it's not hard for only your DNA to be on the knife Well, you know Dexter never got his DNA found I'm just saying but He also only stabbed people one time and then chopped him up Not according to the books. In a plastic room. In a plastic room. Hey, I get it. Some of us get it. Yeah, it's one of those things that's like 20 times. Once, maybe. Okay. Yeah, you ran into the door while holding the knife. Okay. Yeah. Suicide. Sorry, behind. 20. Because after the first one, you're you're hurting and you, you you know,
01:08:09
Speaker
You're like, wow, this actually does hurt. Maybe I don't want to continue. 20? I'm just saying. That's called commitment. She wasn't talking about it. She was being about it. She must have had a friend like that. I'm talking about a beer. I think I'm going to kill myself. I think I'm going to kill myself. Don't talk about it. I'm going to be about it. That's what happens when you have a friend like Glick. Well, in Ruzia,
01:08:39
Speaker
um For the past seven years in Russia, and this is about a week ago this happened, in the past seven years in Russia, they've been wanting to dam up a waterway.
Beavers' Impressive Dam Project
01:08:53
Speaker
And they've been planning and getting everything ready. Well, it's done. It took two days for a beaver to do it. Beavers.
01:09:04
Speaker
Yes, plural. They did it in two days. I'm just saying. good Government funding.
01:09:13
Speaker
I saw that and I was like, you know what? With Elon Musk running all this bad shit going on in the US. Russia's not that far off, apparently. Some beavers got it done. I wish I had a picture of the damn beaver.
01:09:28
Speaker
i've got Got rid of a lot of the red tape, ticky tacky, permits, saved. They saved. So I, I. You have that one too? I, well, I heard it on the radio that I seen it. They saved something like. It's like $27 million dollars or something like that. Yeah. Whatever rubles or whatever. Rubles. Whatever it is over there. I don't know if it's, I don't know what it is over there in the chat.
01:09:59
Speaker
Oh, yeah. That's right. It's just checking for public. Sorry. I'm just saying. and and it and it And it's working and it's sustaining and and it's doing the job. It's holding it. Yeah. I'm just saying. You ever want to build something? Call a beaver. And I like a good beaver. I'm just saying. Hey, see what I did there? Oh, you're tired. You know, you're going to wake up about two o'clock in the morning and go, ha, that was fun. I like it.
01:10:29
Speaker
No, I'm probably not.
01:10:34
Speaker
Well, sir, I have a question for you. What is your favorite pastime? I don't know that I have a favorite pastime, to be honest with you. Well, I have a new one we need to bring back from the, I want to say this is the 1920s is when this has happened, flagpole sitting.
01:10:56
Speaker
In the 1920s, it was a popular endurance challenge to climb to the top of a flagpole and sit on it for as long as possible, to the point where people would come from miles around to see that some idiot sit on a flagpole. And not just a flagpole. There's actually a picture of people sitting on, ah like, you know, those fence posts that the the metal ones, but they're, you know, they're in a pond.
01:11:22
Speaker
And they, they, people just climb up there and sit on them back in the 1920s. Obviously they didn't have TV and shit back then, but this, it was a popular thing. And like state fairs and stuff like that, they direct flag poles just for idiots to climb up there and sit there the entire weekend.
01:11:42
Speaker
ah weak electricity Kind of makes you want to grab it and shake it. Yeah. Pull on, pull on, uh, full on, what was it? Ace Ventura style? Earthquake. It's just kind of a weird thing. I know you're not going to do it because it's a flag. It's high off. It's more than a street off the ground. I don't know.
01:12:15
Speaker
i don't I don't know how to even climb a flagpole. You know what I mean? Well, yeah. but
01:12:24
Speaker
I was just saying. I'm trying to figure out why you're bringing me Jerry Vichy type. What the fuck were you doing? Oh, I saw this. I thought it was interesting. But we know how you don't want to get on airplanes. And I found something that's right up our alley about airplanes. So in 1916, the man who invented the autopilot for airplanes did so. The reason why he did so, he invented something else which is why he invented the autopilot. He invented the mile high club with his friend's wife. nice Unfortunately for the two of them, well, you know, as, as it happens when you're in the mile high club, you're moving around and somebody hit the off switch and the plane crashed and he explained, but oh, we were testing the autopilot.
01:13:21
Speaker
And the first question by the people that were investigating the crash was, why were you naked? Why do you get caught? They were, they were forking. They were forking because they were, they wanted to do while they crashed. Okay. Well, I'm reading it. They were testing. He created the autopilot so he could bang his buddies white.
01:13:50
Speaker
and somebody bumped it in mid-Coitus. It was a nice place. And the plane crashed. Apparently they obviously freaked the fuck out as the plane was going down and didn't think to get dressed. Yeah, I think I'm getting dressed. I agree.
01:14:15
Speaker
I agree. i You got time between the time when the plane crashes before the first ambulance or whoever saw the plane crash comes in.
01:14:46
Speaker
Like 15 to 30 minutes for what? What the fuck are you talking about, Wyatt? Go to bed. Calm down, Wyatt. Isn't it past your bedtime, child? But it's about that time, sir. I know you have something new for us, which is not even remotely close to about that time, but with your stories.
01:15:10
Speaker
with about 15 to 30 minutes left. This is why I have stories that I don't have to replace. Oh, I have extras. Because Jeff never shuts the fuck up. Oh, my God. Take a break and then we'll get into early. I guess apparently early. Yeah, I'm tired. I'm ready for bed. We're going to play a little Jules in the Howl with the Howl because I like this song. I'm tired. I don't want to fucking hear it.
01:15:40
Speaker
I know you don't. So just just sit back, relax and listen to Jules in the howl with the howl.
01:16:36
Speaker
Now's the time to raise your voice and let it out
01:18:20
Speaker
Out of the darkness Embrace your catharsis
01:18:56
Speaker
Can you feel the hope?
01:19:39
Speaker
yeah I like that song. I really do. I guess so too. You should have played a new song. I didn't want to scroll down that far. I wanted to show you why it's comment here. He said, do you have like 15 to 30 minutes before the ambulance drives? Put it all in one comment. Why? Good Lord. Maybe Twitch has, um, Oh, no. Oh, wait. There you go. Characters yeah like limits. What?
01:20:09
Speaker
like you can only have you can only type so many letters like character okay i understand maybe i don't know i i'm just saying if that fit that would fit i'm just saying this is on matter why it this is true i don't know i don't go on twitch because i'm no no the audience
01:20:32
Speaker
We're the audience. There's literally a little emblem beside their names. No, I said I'd never been on Twitch, so I don't know. I've been on Twitch? That's why it is. He's on Twitch. You're on Twitch seven days a week. Well, we can't do two days. Yeah, but I don't comment on Twitch. Three days. Three days. Three days. Actually, it's two because on Fridays, we do, we use Rumble.
01:21:01
Speaker
Uh, speaking of shows, the line, Monday's speedway stories. And then of course, men caring for men Tuesdays is Clint south music. like Maybe i try the whato call men hear him for in it might be on a little bit of a hiatus. Understood. Yeah. like right over yeah Cause you need another problem.
01:21:23
Speaker
Like you need a hole in your head. Um, Wednesdays, of course, is this show. What the fuck news? Where we talk about all the news. It is. news basic Tuesday's all together. I said Tuesday, actually, but you interrupted me. So because you weren't paying attention, I'm going to keep going. Tuesday's. Let's have some music. Tune in this Tuesday. I said that. I'll have Gino Jobare on the show. Gino Jobare. Where's Gino from? New Orleans. Nowlands. Nowlands. Oh, yeah. Some crawdads. He's friends with Arliss.
01:21:53
Speaker
Okay, cool. And then Thursdays is going to be cold-blooded conversations. The one Joby comes to with Wally again. Fridays, of course, is nonsense and chill where we watch these weird... Oof, my brain's off, dude. I've been... I've been at this i've been sitting here since 9 o'clock this morning. I'm just saying. But we watch weird, crazy movies, and then...
01:22:22
Speaker
talk shit about them or say how much should we like them. Saturdays, of course, is the open door challenge where we open the door and everybody can come in and say what they got to say and be part of the conversation, not just be in the comments. And then Saturdays, sorry, is unnecessary of this where the boys talk sports now that foodie football is over. is over, right? NFL is over. Yeah, that's all it matters.
01:22:51
Speaker
ah That is the nonsensical network. Don't forget, bio.link slash nonsensical network can find all the shit. Yeah, starting in March, we have spring football, UFL. So I'm sure we'll be talking about that. No, no, no, no. We're going to talk about sports, but I'm sure we'll talk UFL. I want to be there for the rugby talk, or not the rugby, the the what what possible ah cricket one, when you guys figure out how to play it.
01:23:18
Speaker
So I can learn too. There's just some, there's just some sports I don't understand, but I'll talk about it. I get it. All I know is there's a ball of three sticks and weird baseball thing. Yeah. That's not really a bat. It looks like a bat. It looks like a paddle. It's so weird. We call it something. Cricket. It's called a bat. Who's it called a bat? It's called a cricket bat. And the only reason I know that is because there's Shaun in the dead.
01:23:47
Speaker
Because that's what he uses a cricket bat. So Sean carries his cricket bat. Anywho. It is called a stick or a willow. Wait, what? Willow just looked it up. A cricket bat is also known as a stick or a willow. An English willow or a cashmere willow. Like a weeping?
01:24:13
Speaker
yeah oh man it just what fault Yeah, will i lower stick you know the Brits are not the smartest you explained everything that what do you what do you what are you gonna call this stick here stick? What are we gonna use it for? To play cricket. What is cricket cricket? You mean the insect? No the game. What's it? how How's it played? You hit a ball ah you allow They literally have three sticks behind them with little connectors. I don't understand the concept. I don't know, man. Nobody's ever explained it to me, and I don't know if I want to know. I kind of like having the mystery, but I want to know because not that I watch it, but if I do happen upon it, and I'm like, what the hell are they doing? And they throw the ball weird.
01:25:05
Speaker
Because if they don't throw the ball, they bowl it. But if you're throwing overhead, is that really bowling?
01:25:15
Speaker
Come on, you're a sports guy. You should know this stuff.
01:25:21
Speaker
show first guy now so called those They fries chips. They're stupid. Yeah. They're dumb. They call chips crisps. and they use and And they use the metric system. I don't know if they do or not. So it does most of the world, by the way. Yeah, well, most of the world's fucking wrong. So...
01:25:48
Speaker
ah punctuious second us s is like the only one that doesn't use the writer don't do it it all god damn but
01:25:58
Speaker
by the way as some of them went from empirical to a metric i still have i still have to look it up every time that's why i have to take many things on both sides i'm just saying
01:26:13
Speaker
I still know. Well, it's 14 inches. How many? Okay, it's this many millimeters or something. I mean, I measure my wiener in centimeters because it sounds impressive. Right? 275 centimeters. I do it in micro millimeters.
01:26:29
Speaker
275 centimeters. Yeah, you like that, don't you know? You got a thousand millimeters. Hopefully, she's dumb. Otherwise, if she's smart, she'll be like, that's two inches, asshole.
01:26:41
Speaker
Take what you can get. You it. You what you get and you don't pitch a pic. Just eat your vegetables. I call this a potato.
01:27:08
Speaker
We're big dumb animals. He's a zasquatch, so I'm a little teddy bear. He's a fucking gardener. Don't disrespect my people. I am the giant amongst the midgets. Just saying. I can say that. Chop you down to size. I'm chopping down to size with my willow.
01:27:32
Speaker
I'll throw records at you. Yeah. yeah and Yeah, we brought it back to the side of the dead. So, it's that time of the night, and you have a twist tonight. yeah And I don't know if we should play our normal little clip, because it's technically false advertisement tonight.
01:28:02
Speaker
It falls under the guise. Penis! YEAH! let me try that again. Penis! YEAH! Firmly grasp it in your hand. Firmly grasp it. Firmly grasp it!
01:28:33
Speaker
Were you trying to delve over? Yeah, I was trying to. I seriously thought about getting the clip from from varsity blues. The penis painted thing is vagina, vagina, vagina. But I was like, yeah, that's a YouTube strike waiting to happen. So I did. You could have got the kids from kindergarten go. Boys have penises, girls have a vagina.
01:28:58
Speaker
Anyways, isn't that? This this is not necessarily your typical penis report. This is this is kind of the vine of a giant of a gene of a gene report ah You know the last couple weeks we were talking about We we had this list of this is gonna be a two-part thing I think because because I found two pretty comical different by different ah two different articles what's the same subject. So the last couple of weeks, we were talking about women seeing their first penis and their first reactions. And I figured quality inclusive. We're not doing DEI hires anytime soon around here, but we can be all inclusive and we can, you know, equal rights, you know, equal fights. First time Glitz, how do I get that in my mouth?
01:29:53
Speaker
Sure. So Bruce Willis said, when he looked through stalking, how am I going to get that thumb in my mouth?
01:30:06
Speaker
That's what he says. Some things just can go without being... I'm just saying. No, you first. That was me.
First Reactions to Male and Female Genitalia
01:30:20
Speaker
You're nonsense.
01:30:22
Speaker
is Very, very nice. right but anyways So, so, you know, we had we we we had the stories of women with their first time seeing a penis and their first experience seeing a but ah penis. And and and we're flipping the script from from She Knows, ah Health and Wellness, Women's Magazine, I guess.
01:30:44
Speaker
from their health and wellness slash love and sex column uh 12 dudes share their honest reaction to seeing a vagin for the first time uh dudes because mine was just like holy shit this is actually happening yeah everyone remembers their first kiss Well, but what about seeing your first real life vagina and candid coming of age X-rated wonder years type thread. One brave Redditor poses the questions males have read it. How do you react to the first time you saw a vagina in real life?
01:31:21
Speaker
Uh, like beep is a button. Ms. Bethany, Ms. Bethany Ramos, who, who wrote this article or who printed this article, uh, she says, old boy is a proud owner of a vagina. I can only imagine how this thread is going to shake down and an ask Reddit post with 6,000 comments and counting. The minute of Reddit had something to say about the first time they got up close and personal with the delicate leaf flower. Ooh.
01:31:51
Speaker
right before I took it to pound town. Yeah, I agree. You just suck that one dick and you'll be caught a cocksucker. Oh shit. that but's ah
01:32:06
Speaker
yeah There was a hundred cocks on the wall. How many would you? try because i always get ready get right do say god damn they do some of the things i did want to interrupt your you cause i was getting asscarre and glu but I knew you were fucking Well, answer the question. Every fucking one. You're going to do great. She's doing the slut. Yeah.
01:32:35
Speaker
up You dirty whore. I knew it. Here are 12 of the most memorable reactions to seeing a vagina in the flesh. Let's see. You were one second faster than me. I love this first gift. There's an Asian chicken sitting in a bathtub in a sundress with her legs spread in a mirror going, you, you.
01:33:05
Speaker
um
01:33:11
Speaker
the First one out here and what do we and what do we have here? Uh, stuck my finger in it. I was like a title toddler with a light socket. Nice.
01:33:34
Speaker
Uh, ah this This guy says, don't I know you from somewhere? Oh my god, I'm a huge fan. I've seen all of your movies. These are typical pro these are typical bro answers too. But the guy says, hi, I'm new here.
01:34:00
Speaker
thought i tell about He says, uh, gentlemen says, I don't know about gentlemen, but he, the guy says she pulled her pants down while we were behind the fence in a park during winter. I'd be in the amazingly intelligent 15 year old boy that I was thought it would be a funny, it would be funny to bend down below on it. She got really cold and punched me the end.
01:34:27
Speaker
That's not a blow job, dude. i care Why would that be your initial thought? I'm just gonna, first of all, what are you doing out in the middle of winter dropping trout? You little slutty 15 year old. Hey, those are the chicks I hung out with, I'm just saying.
01:34:48
Speaker
They all can't be classy, buddy. They got my hands on girls, man. <unk>
01:34:59
Speaker
ah board mission aboard mission what do you mind he he thought he'd be slick and he put his hand on the back of like but her act was too blank and he couldn't read
01:35:14
Speaker
why buddy jeremy did told me that and i was like dude that's fuck but he's like i couldn' read your as too big the Yeah. what you go do there so number number four here on this list this this guy says I don't know what this is, but I like it. He says first I sniffed it. Then I touched it. Then I probed it with my finger. Then I looked it. And then I put a tracking device on it so it can't get away. And I'll always know how to find it again. So you got her pregnant. I see what you did. If you need me.
01:35:50
Speaker
I'll be in the on call room. yeah And there's a gift of the Todd going. yeah how you do He says, I hope my boner doesn't show through my scrubs. Yep. The first time I saw a vagina in real life was on my OB GAYN rotation in medical school. Wow, dude, medical school. So you went through what four years of right ah two years so Two years of books. Because medical school is like eight years before you get into residency. No, it's the first two years you're... Well, no, I thought it was fourth year was one when you actually... but and And I referenced Patch Adams. Because third year is when you actually get the white coat and you can actually follow on rounds and stuff.
01:36:42
Speaker
I thought it was like eight years of school. Well, yeah, eight years of schooling, but it's, I don't know. Damn! I don't know, but either way, he was definitely, well, I mean, you know, yeah you know, some people, some people, you know, are aren't fucking whores, Jeff. And don't go trying to stick your little dick in every hole they find. Once again, buddy, the if you're if you're talking by your math, eight years of college,
01:37:14
Speaker
Like 25 26 there's a lot of virgins out there that are in their third. There's a whole movie about a 40 year old virgin Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's me though Well, I'm there's a lot of virgins out there in there Yeah, upper ages they're saving themselves Also as a lady, it would behoove you to be a virgin because how else are you? Or a movie If you're a whore you're dying in a horror movie I'm just saying, yeah, the Virgin always lives. I'm just saying, if I'm in a, if I'm in a, if I'm in a, if I'm in a Halloween situation, you know who I'm going to hang out with the Virgin girl, because it's a good chance of my survival just went up a lot. She won't be a virgin belong.
01:38:05
Speaker
Well, that's called rape and that's why you're in Mexico no it comes now to it's like You know kill her I heard a booming voice from within say my son this will be your demise My wallet started drying but I heard, I heard the angels sing from the heavens above. Oh, and a light shone down from the sky. i was like you want to hear such great gloriousious Not% off subject, but just a hair, you know, throat cancer, you can get from going down. No, if I ever get throat cancer, yeah. it oh there It's been debunked. It's been debunked because
01:38:49
Speaker
It's been debunked because, no, it wasn't George Burns. It was, uh, Kurt Douglas. try That's why he, yeah. that's so He said he, he tried to say that's why he got throat cancer, not the fact that he smoked 17 packs of cigarettes a day in the sixties. I'm just, I'm going, I'm going with the going down. It's actually, it's actually good for you.
01:39:16
Speaker
I neuter here. I'm just saying. ah ah Number six is that a banana in your pocket? This guy just simply says, I got an erection. The first time he's seen a vagina, I got an erection. Man, a few words, but he gets right to the point. He's just a little pregnant. no anybody yeah ah yeah It's magnificent. Yes.
01:39:46
Speaker
Sweet merciful Christ. It's more beautiful than I imagined followed by me going down on my girlfriend. This happened at him a month ago and I'm 24 says this guy. Okay. That was also my first reaction was like left it on my face. Right. i always I've always been happy. I've been doing that joke since I was like 13. Oh, you don't go to places. Here you go. Mhmm.
01:40:13
Speaker
doley I mean, I don't have to says it. It's not a beard. It's a saddle.
01:40:22
Speaker
and Well, I replied, now what's going on with you, brother? I was, I was jealous of my friends because, yeah, I see. the never kitchen although You know, I should really start reading comments thoroughly before I before start, saying out ah you know, confirmation.
01:40:43
Speaker
Yeah. I get that soul glow, baby. Some STI's can't, some STI's can't cause cancer. Yes. Uh, I think my other company.
01:40:56
Speaker
Nice. You got, you got competition. Uh, this guy is clearly gay. It says meh.
01:41:09
Speaker
but too nice listen all hold on Seem nice enough. I'd always like the idea of self lubricating sexual orifice and appreciated the fact that poop doesn't come out of them. So I figured I might like to try them out at some point. Wasn't disappointed. Wasn't particularly blown away either. But they lived up to expectations.
01:41:37
Speaker
He's happy. Gayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy to a woman to make Charlotte look small. His ex-wife turned him into a... That's what I kept telling her. I was like, yeah, see, you screwed my brother so bad he became gay. I'm just saying. Nice woman. This next guy. No, thanks. This next guy. No, thanks. I thought to myself... That's my brother.
01:42:36
Speaker
The guy says, I thought to myself, huh, I hope it would be more arousing in real life. And that's when I realized, am I like men?
01:42:48
Speaker
So that's the moment you realize all that game, right? That is a hell of a confirmation. Like if you're, if you're questioning and you're like, you know what, do I don't I yeah you know you're not really willing to take the punch and i see see if you like it, you know? Yeah. It's a burger. You can't try it. As that says a guy, it's much safer to try vagina.
01:43:14
Speaker
and realize you don't like it as opposed to trying to dick and realize, you know, not my thing because you can like, like Xanthia says, once you suck one dick, you're a cocksucker. Yeah, there's no coming back. It's 20.5. I don't judge. I'm just saying we saying. I guess that's a good point.
01:43:38
Speaker
ah this This next guy. Oh, this old thing. This guy, typical fucking Chad. To be honest, I acted like I've seen a ton before, and acted like I wasn't super stoked. And meanwhile, inside he was going, oh fuck. That's the greatest day ever. Let's be honest, that was all of us. Some of us just said it out loud.
01:44:07
Speaker
I said, sup, how are you doing? Nice to meet you. ah How you doing? the doorbell. Let me give you a little shake. How you doing? Oh my god.
01:44:28
Speaker
Rib for your for your pleasure. Yeah, that one chick found out that she was upset when it was rib. Yeah. all the last guys but it's This next guy. Tell me when I'm getting close. I thought I was messing around with the wrong entrance.
01:44:53
Speaker
That was the 7th. You failed sex ed, my friend. No, no, no, no. Because you and I automatically go to shade. This dude's dealing with the looks like your beard. and No, no, no.
01:45:10
Speaker
I'm thinking it's his first time. He doesn't, there's, there's two holes down there. Oh, I get that. But I mean, obviously you're going back too far. One takes you to pound town. One takes you to fudge town. I'm not bad at either one. must be a
01:45:31
Speaker
See, it goes all the way back to an earlier comment, uh, right there. There it is. And I kept reaching and reaching and I thought I'd pass it. She had those high-rise bands on, didn't she? It was just way back there. And and lastly for... What the hell?
01:46:05
Speaker
um but like but And lastly, where do I even begin? There's so many flaps on this thing. Do you remember the girl in one of our stories that was like, I've seen a lot of dicks.
01:46:30
Speaker
She's made a reappearance. with her roast beef with her Arby's roast beef sandwich yeah not not a fan of the roast horrible but a lot of flaps on this
01:46:56
Speaker
I don't know why I've had that with my buddy. I just picked your air graphic roller. Let the flaps down.
01:47:13
Speaker
I'm an idiot. and Pull the curtains back. Take a peek inside. Is anybody home? Yes. Hello, hello, hello, hello. Oh, I see you met Chris's ex. Which one? Hello, hello, hello. Throw a hot dog back. I don't know. All right, we're still in the deep. Remember, bells are gorgeous.
01:47:49
Speaker
Oh, that's horrible. Well, I know you're tired, sir, and you need to get some sleep. And I need to get something to eat. So let's play a divide song, or or let's just say rioting. Oh, wait. I just saw that. Ladies and gentlemen, it's the news that makes us say, what the fuck? What the fuck? That's all my eggs.
01:48:25
Speaker
and may see more Well, everybody from what the fuck news this is as Chris said the news that makes us say what the fuck and we will be don't forget tomorrow is Wally's back with cold-blooded conversation Well, he's gonna be talking to some reptiles. Does he have a guest? I don't remember I don't know if it's this week or next. I'm just trying to check my. However, on Mondays, Wally does have a new co-host. Uh, he does. Benji, our boy Benji, you guys have seen him on the shows before. You're seeing him in the comments. Benji will be joining Wally on Mondays. Nice. Yeah. goods box Thank you guys for being here. We definitely appreciate y'all in the chatters box as always, especially when you're a lively bunch, like y'all are, you're our people's.
01:49:19
Speaker
and our peoples that we love. Yes. You're like minded all going to hell and uh we will see you tomorrow. um Be good or be good at it, baby. Bye everybody. funny yeah
01:49:44
Speaker
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01:50:26
Speaker
nature's arrangement cars
01:50:36
Speaker
nas but the vot just right tune