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Nonsensical network open door challenge
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That's right are you brave enough to come and hang with the best talk trash hang out let's have some fun who knows what we'll get up to tonight I guess it's dealer's choice this episode got takin down bio.linlk/nonsensicalnetwork
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Transcript
00:00:00
Speaker
All right.
00:00:33
Speaker
Thank you.
00:03:01
Speaker
Yes, that's it.
00:04:15
Speaker
show.
Chaotic Monologue & Headphone Observations
00:04:16
Speaker
Hey, y'all but better look the fuck out today. My crayons are sharp, the box is full, my bottle of glue's topped off, from my helmet's on tight, baby. We're about to rhythm with the tism. Let's get with it.
00:04:30
Speaker
Suck my dick and eat my asshole, you sons of bitches.
00:04:36
Speaker
but What, baby? That's right, folks. You heard it. Suck my dick and eat my asshole. It is Saturday night. How you doing, Blaze?
00:04:47
Speaker
I'm sick. What the fuck? You already know that answer, asshole. I know. It's called content, you dick. no right yeah Yeah, me being a dick's content right now. I'm fucking sick.
00:05:00
Speaker
other Other than feeling like crap, like a fucking... Yeah, you were saying last night there's there's something going around in your area. Yeah, I got it. I got it, guys. What's up, Chris Technician?
00:05:14
Speaker
Chris, do you have the dinner report? Haha, I beat you to it. I sued you to there. I like that. But yeah, it you know is Saturday night. It is the nonsensical nonsense.
00:05:26
Speaker
Open door challenge. Don't forget, everybody, if you are brave enough or if you have a subject, because let's be honest, we don't. Come on up. Say hi Talk some trash or just be part of the conversation because ah you like that.
00:05:41
Speaker
I call it Jeff's our new resident e-girl. Still working on i need we do that I need to do that weird weird Asian dance. that goes on No, you don't.
00:05:54
Speaker
I don't know how to do it. i can't dance because I'm very, very white. um Very much so. You know, there's a crazy thing about these headphones. They're noise canceling. So I can't hear like my fan or my phone ding or anything like that.
00:06:08
Speaker
But I can't also hear myself speak. So if I get too loud, please tell me. Because I'm trying to speak so I can hear myself, but I can just feel the vibration of my voice. It's kind of weird. Interesting.
00:06:19
Speaker
Like it's freaky. you don't have no like and You don't have no internal volume control. You can just tell. no i guess How long have you fucking known me? No, no. Jeff and impulse control. What is that?
00:06:35
Speaker
I know. The cheat on the cocaine is back, sir. guys Because I start my new job on Monday. I actually start training tomorrow. but Rock on. Yeah.
DoorDash & Van Life Exploration
00:06:48
Speaker
it's You know what?
00:06:50
Speaker
I know you do the whole DoorDash thing, which I'm mildly jealous of because you can kind of work your own schedule. I love it. um I don't know. the The problem I have with doing something like that here is people drive like assholes.
00:07:07
Speaker
I mean, that's anywhere you know that. DoorDash here, everybody uses motorcycles. See... All right. And I brought this up before talking about van life. I plan on getting a, I used to own an e-bike. I got rid of before I moved Oregon.
Electric Scooters & E-Bike Adventures
00:07:24
Speaker
Plan on getting another one, something smaller, more compact. Maybe I don't know or go with what I used to have a Rad Rover, but either, or it's going to be in the van. So, cause I'm still going to door dash kind of like you side get one of those. And, like and I, what I can do is I can park in a city and I can just go door dash on an e-bike i am and there you go.
00:07:46
Speaker
yeah ah i bought couple years ago, I bought one of those electric scooters. And I bought it on a whim. They have this thing. It's kind of like Black Friday, but they call it Bien Fin, Good Weekend.
00:08:00
Speaker
And it's the entire four days it's four days, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, about right around Thanksgiving time, obviously. And I got my electric scooter for like a quarter of the price.
00:08:15
Speaker
Okay. I rode this out of it. Now, unfortunately, my dog chewed the charger, so I need to buy a new charger. but And the other problem with it is it only lasts about four hours.
00:08:27
Speaker
So, yeah, that's one thing I plan on mitigating when I get another e-bike. It's the first time I didn't have extra batteries because they're not cheap. But um I plan on having a couple extra batteries um just for swap-out purposes.
00:08:40
Speaker
Okay. what you would you know what would be Speaking of extra batteries, I didn't i didn't check my battery in my camera before we started. but so It is low, but I do have two backups going. so If I have to drop and swap... Actually, actually you you switched over very smooth the last night when your battery got.
00:08:59
Speaker
Yeah, I was able to do it pretty pretty seamlessly. so You know what would be really cool for you on your fan life thing? and it and I know it's it's it's like dating a really fat chick, a moped.
00:09:17
Speaker
It's fun if your friends get you doing it. But a moped is so much bigger and bulkier. And it's a motor and a pedal. When I can just get a pedal assist e-bike, and so and that's i the motor and p the the gas motor and all that, because it's just inefficient.
00:09:34
Speaker
I agree. I used to hold moped when i was a kid. I saw a dirt bike that's an equivalent of a 250 CC. It looks just like the real deal, but dead silent. And I was like, that's what happened. I remember a few years back, especially since the e-bike thing was really starting to become a huge thing.
Military's Interest in E-Bikes
00:09:59
Speaker
um There was, and I don't know how far the government contract went or if it went through, i didn't follow up on it, but apparently the army was talking about getting a
00:10:10
Speaker
I want to say they were Kawasaki or some other manufactured e-bike, but like top of the line fast fuckers and e-bikes are quiet. They're stealthy. And they were talking about getting some for, for recon missions and be able to traverse in, in a stealthy kind of way. i was like, Ooh, that's, that's pretty smart.
00:10:29
Speaker
Holy geez. I'm nerding out watching this guy. think of what? Chattermer. What? It's, it's, uh, it's, uh,
00:10:41
Speaker
Xanfius, you flummoxed me once again, my man. yeah How you doing? it's It's one of those things. I watched this guy on YouTube. It was a couple of months ago. He bought, it's an equivalent of a 250 or a 350cc dirt bike, but it's electric and dead quiet. As rode around on it, all you could hear was the springs compressed, which is not very loud anyways.
00:11:07
Speaker
And it was like, you know what? I would not be mad at that. Except for the fact that I would never admit that I had it.
00:11:16
Speaker
What, a moped? I had a moped when I was a kid. No, no, no. I had a moped. I love my moped. But I'm talking about an electric vehicle of any kind. i i i would never admit it. i'm like no Really? Why?
00:11:29
Speaker
That's weird. I'm a stuck-up snob. I guess so. umm I'm going to be a headhunter, ripdog. His new job is the resident e-girl. If you didn't notice his headphones, they glow in the dark.
00:11:45
Speaker
Get my ears, my bunny ears. I actually find out more about this. The spark is the fur is the fast e-bike that is like, yeah yeah. Who makes the spark?
00:11:56
Speaker
I know it's not just them. I know other people came out with one as well. I think this one, the one the guy was talking about was on KTM. Which
KTM & Ducati Bike Discussions
00:12:03
Speaker
KTM makes a good bike. So like I was like highly impressed with it. I am a fan of KTM quality.
00:12:11
Speaker
I'm not going to lie. I dig them. i From my understanding, I've never owned a KTM. But did their quality go down? Didn't they get bought by somebody? I don't know. I'm i'm not sure.
00:12:22
Speaker
I'm not sure. It's something I'd have to look into. I want a Ducati like you're reading about. But I can't afford Ducati prices.
00:12:33
Speaker
i are they are orous pike
00:12:39
Speaker
I sent you that red one. yeah It was crazy expensive. um I sent you that picture that red one like a week ago. as I have this weird thing. i The X Deval.
00:12:55
Speaker
It's a 2016 X Deval, the one I sent you. That is a gorgeous bike. However, they wanted like 26 grand. you know okay ah for for For those of you out there wanting to or interested in the e-bike, um I think Rad Rover's decent.
00:13:11
Speaker
the Rad Rover has this program where you order it straight from the factory and it cuts a lot of the fucking middle price down. but and They're so easy to assemble that you just do it right there it at home.
00:13:24
Speaker
Or if you're close to an e-bike shop, you can go pay them to do it. They usually have somebody there to do it. ah Rad Rover... has tutorial videos for you to do it while you're putting it together. Two, if you go to somebody like Harley-Davidson and buy their, they came out with their Edition 1 or Series 1 e-bike a few years ago.
00:13:42
Speaker
who so a rad rover a Rad Rover, you're talking around $2,000. I think I got mine for $1,500 a few years ago. It's not. But you go to Harley and you buy one of their Harley-Davidson e-bikes, like you ready regular seat ah city bike, like a City e-bike.
00:13:59
Speaker
Not a motorcycle. It doesn't look like a motorcycle. But it's supposed to look like Harley-Davidson's first bicycle at way back in the day. Oh, really? i but Anyway, but you're talking
1957 Plymouth Fury & Supernatural Cars
00:14:09
Speaker
like five grand for this because it has Harley-Davidson on it.
00:14:12
Speaker
but Right. a over fan through the like never name not but Not only is the Rad Rover like oh
00:14:20
Speaker
better because they've been out longer and they've they've worked a lot of their bugs out in their production. um it's the tires are typically Kevlar line juggernauts or you can upgrade to that so you can run over yeah so a lot of these e-bikes like the 26 fat tires they got Kevlar lining or you can buy aftermarket and line your own that way when you're going through the fucking trails and shit or you're going down the road or and you hit a nail or something you're good to go so every fucking time I talk to this guy yeah makes my head explode
00:14:57
Speaker
No, but this is that Duval I was talking about. That other thing is gorgeous. That is gorgeous. that's all That's an e-bike, right? No, that's that's the Ducati Duval, that 2016. That's the one I sent you.
00:15:08
Speaker
It's for sale. Oh, okay. yeah Yeah. I want that thing. I'm not i um not a giant fan of the naked bike like that. but Oh, man. That's gorgeous. And I hate red anything.
00:15:21
Speaker
I hate red any vehicle. but Except there's only one vehicle that I will ever own that is red. My wife won't let me buy it no matter how much money I have. It's the 1957 Plymouth Fury.
00:15:33
Speaker
Now, so if money wasn't an ah if money wasn't an issue, she still would not let you buy something like that. The reason why she would not let me buy the 1957 Plymouth Fury is because it's Christine from Stephen King's movie.
00:15:51
Speaker
You know, my ex-wife had had similar superstitious things like, Ouija boards. We're never going to buy one of those because they bring the devil. Yeah. Or the fucking ghosts and and shit. Like, my wife was...
00:16:03
Speaker
Ex-wife, I'm sorry. I should definitely fucking... Yeah. i correct that My ex-wife was supernatural in that way. like She believed in ghosts and spirits and stuff. I i wouldn't put my wife in that category. It just comes down to... You're just asking for fucking trouble. I'm like, ah duh, have you met me?
00:16:22
Speaker
What's that? Trouble for what? In general. just like but because a lot of There's a couple of people that own 57 Climbit Furies that they they fucking act up.
00:16:34
Speaker
The one, the guy shut it off. He took the key out of it, and it started up again. it was It turned out it was a short in the starter, but it restarted sitting in this driveway.
00:16:45
Speaker
like like Okay, okay. What year is this car you're talking
Car Pranks & Unwritten Rules
00:16:48
Speaker
about? nineteen fifty so 1957. Okay, so within your lifetime, no matter how many people you've met that's owned that car, that car already old.
00:16:57
Speaker
Oh, yeah. So it's going to have... So any issues any issues with that is probably because of that. I 100% agree. But people want to make that leap and go, ooh, it's ghosts.
00:17:10
Speaker
Hey, I get it. It's slow the grimmings. There's one guy. There's a grimmelie the wing. He owns a car museum. And he's got you know he's got like the Scooby-Doo van. He's got the A-Team van. He's got all this stuff where you can go in.
00:17:22
Speaker
And he's got a Christine. yeah And at night, he'll be walking through the showroom, close it up for the night. And the he's got red neon lights in the grill and underneath it.
00:17:34
Speaker
And all of a sudden, they'll just turn on no matter what. He says it's the weirdest thing. And I'm like, you know what? That's what I want mine to do. Because, you know, can you imagine sitting in a parking lot and fucking my car just starts beeping its horn and the lights turn on? Oh, my God.
00:17:51
Speaker
That would be the coolest fucking... I would be proud of that. I'm like, yeah, my car's fucking business. Go ahead. I dare you. I have one of those wireless key fobs for my car. when I'm standing in like a Burger King or somewhere where I'm in line, I can see outside. i can see people walking around my car and I'm just like filling in one of those I just want to fuck with people modes.
00:18:13
Speaker
Well, see, I want to do that. Have you seen the guys that do that? they they you know they They usually have like an overly expensive car, but they got like a cat-back exhaust on it that's stupid loud.
00:18:24
Speaker
And they'll get some goofy chick trying to take a photo photo, and they'll hit that button. And, of course, the exhaust is ridiculously loud. It scares the shit out of them they're taking their selfie.
00:18:36
Speaker
That's me every time. I have one rule of my life. You never mess with a man's ride or his woman. Period. End of story. Either one is dead.
00:18:49
Speaker
I swapped out the battery and nobody even knew. See? ah told you. It's awesome. Yes. I poke the button and I scare the people. Fuck you. That's like to do. That's hilarious. i don't care who you are.
00:19:00
Speaker
Especially when it's somebody like that just left the restaurant and their hands are full of to go food and they got like, yes, like this thing of like drinks and all it's all full and they got like two bags of food. No, I really I don't do it to somebody like that. no Oh, I would. Well, see, I'm not that big of a dick.
00:19:17
Speaker
I'm also the asshole that wants train horns on my car. Because I find it hilarious. I used i used to be that kind of guy. Have you seen the train horn drill you can buy? It looks like a drill, but it's got train horns attached. why so So you can fucking rock the train horn anytime.
00:19:37
Speaker
It's like you know you buy the air horn to do at the ah you know game or whatever. It's the same concept, but they're train horns. Well, they they're smaller smaller size than train horns, but they're they're the horns.
00:19:51
Speaker
What they've done is they've taken apart a drill like a used drill that's been broken. And they attach these train horns to it so that the battery still works and charges on your regular DeWalt charger or your Makita or whatever it is.
00:20:03
Speaker
But and when you pull the trigger, it blows the horn.
00:20:08
Speaker
And I'm like, you know... how much of those So this was, God, where was I stationed at when this happened? a story I'm about to tell you. This isn't about a horn.
00:20:20
Speaker
It is about ah something that's remote control that definitely made sounds. made fart sounds. Nice. And I was at an airport. So when I was in the Air Force, I was one of those guys who always liked to volunteer to go to the airport to pick up a new guy.
00:20:34
Speaker
Because I like to people watch. do too. But I like to people watch. i like to observe and learn. anyway, but I was sitting there one day. i think this might have been in Alaska, Alaska or California.
00:20:46
Speaker
I can't remember her exactly. But I'm sitting there. I'm just i'm just waiting, minding my own business. And I see these three kids. They're definitely, there you can tell they're brothers.
00:20:56
Speaker
I say from the ages of like eight to about, <unk>ish There's three brothers. okay two old is The two oldest ones convinced the younger brother to take one of those fart noise boxes that has a remote and put it on his backpack and go randomly stand next to people.
00:21:18
Speaker
And they're like, go stand over there. That's genius. And I'm sitting here just watching this. And the little kid walks over this old couple. And in the big brothers over there just hitting the fucking bunny the the button, dude. It was just funny.
00:21:29
Speaker
like It wasn't like no vlog creations prank style. No, but I used to do the same thing. My cousins and I would drive around. when My cousin, i had a i had my Dodge Neon when I first got it before I did any work to it.
Teenage Adventures & Car Culture
00:21:43
Speaker
yeah Yeah. See, it has three train horns on it.
00:21:48
Speaker
Those are awesome. Lazy has a huge net set hanging out the rear. We would we drive around in my car. And, you know, it was before I tinted the windows. So, you know, glass, bubble, kind of deal.
00:22:02
Speaker
And we'd literally pull up next to a car and just stare at them and go,
00:22:09
Speaker
entire Because like, or just stare and stare, like pretend to pick your nose, but like way up there, you know? And people just go, what the fuck, man? it's It's the funniest thing ever.
00:22:24
Speaker
And once again, this was back in like, what, 97, 98? So it's not like we were videotaping. We just thought it was hilarious. Yeah.
00:22:35
Speaker
But, you know, we we also would get in trouble... One day we were driving around And I had this had an 87 Buick Skylark Loved that car Clean I kept it pristine that that song that That specific car comes up In a lot of ICP songs It's so funny well how popular that fucking car is Man The Buick Skyline is one of those cars. They were K cars.
00:23:02
Speaker
They're a four-cylinder, not very big, but old triple car, plush as hell. But we were driving around, and the Buick Skyline that year had a small back window.
00:23:13
Speaker
It like scooped back, right? I don't understand blinds sometimes. Go ahead. the The back window is only about maybe 10 inches tall. And we're driving around and it's at night. And there' some asshole has got his brights on and he's flashing and shit. And i and my cousin, my younger cousin's in the back.
00:23:32
Speaker
And I'm like, dude, moon this asshole. So my brother, my cousin doesn't even think twice. He moons this guy. And this guy starts riding my ass. And we're... he's chasing us through streets and stuff.
00:23:44
Speaker
And finally I got to the point, I shut the lights off, started going down dirt roads. yeah Just, it was having a blast. Didn't care because if if he did catch us.
00:23:56
Speaker
Oh, it was game time. Cause there were six of us in the car and he's one. We got this. know I had a, I had a 78 Malibu in high school and me and my buddies were driving down the,
00:24:09
Speaker
In this area where I'm living now, ah when I went to high school, the back roads around here, country roads. Right. And there's not there's no there's no street there's no street lights.
00:24:20
Speaker
This was a 78 Malibu, straight six. I don't know what happened, but the lights went off when I just fucking built the headlights went off. Like it was a short or something. Eventually I fixed it. forgot what it was.
00:24:32
Speaker
Yeah, it probably was a fuse. But I was sitting there and we were miles away from anywhere. We needed to get some. And we had no way to light up the road except for I had a bunch of bottle rockets in the back seat.
00:24:46
Speaker
Nice. And I had my buddy Chris in the fucking passenger seat fucking lighting off fucking bottle rockets going down the road just so I can kind of see. Until I can pull off somewhere and figure out the headlights.
00:24:59
Speaker
We used to do that all the time. One of my first dates, I was – right after high school. like It was like three days before I shipped out.
00:25:11
Speaker
I was dating a girl. and You better do more than just stopping by and saying hi, buddy. You better come You're probably going to work. yeah Wally works the night. shoes But I had my 69 Chevelle and of course 69, you can cut the taillights and headlights with a single button. You know and you know he didn't have you didn't have to worry about daytime running lights that are always no matter what.
00:25:36
Speaker
And I was taking my girlfriend at the time on a ride. And I was like, you want to see something cool? She's like, sure. I pulled onto a dirt road that i've I've known this, we call it Batman Hill.
00:25:49
Speaker
And Batman Hill kind of, it's it's up up up in the hills and it's curves. And like, it's it's not necessarily the safest road. It's one lane and you can drift around it all day long.
00:26:03
Speaker
And it's dirt, gravel and shit. And it's like 2 o'clock in the morning. And I'm like, you want to see something cool? She's like, sure. it Killed the lights. but And floored it. Because I know. Because I spent my entire life driving up and down Batman Hill.
00:26:17
Speaker
You know? I know that road like the back of my hand. And I killed the lights. And we started flying up through there. And she damn her shit herself. It's funny you bring up Batman um
Media Consumption & Health
00:26:29
Speaker
before.
00:26:30
Speaker
OK, so just a little back story. I forgot Glick wasn't going be up tonight. I was not in the headspace even stream tonight. ah love ah i love all your motherfuckers. But last night I was like, yeah, Friday's done. I can just sleep all right.
00:26:45
Speaker
Anyway, so that didn't happen, which is fine. I'm not complaining. I don't mind being here. But i was sitting there. When I'm sick is the time I'll sit there and I'll binge watch shit and surf through shit and watch.
00:26:59
Speaker
That's like the biggest time when I do sit there and watch shit is when I'm sick. Well, I'll see you You're laying in bed, because you're too to anything else. Yeah, laying in bed with my fucking laptop on my lap, right? And so... so I was sitting there scrolling through Tubi looking for something to watch, and I found my first of all, who was the first TV Batman? Adam West.
00:27:23
Speaker
Nope. Christopher Lowry from 1959. There was a Batman series that came out. It was three fucking episodes. and and They played at the theater at that time. They were like 20-something minutes each. each so They were like commercials.
00:27:39
Speaker
They called it cynical. No, no, no, no. There were legit fucking shows. Do fooling fucking shows. No, but it was a three part. No, it was. No, this was back when you go to the cinema just to watch a 30 minute fucking talk. Okay. Okay.
00:27:52
Speaker
Yeah. It's all black and white and shit, but. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah. For anybody. My new. Because TV is all free. 1959 Batman and Robin. and rob Dude, I'm watching Highway to Heaven on Tubi. I don't know why, but I can't watch it. I can't look away.
00:28:13
Speaker
I'm sitting here watching Highway to Heaven with Michael Landon, the angel, the dude that was Little House on the Prairie. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I remember. I think my mom watched that shit. Yeah. I remember watching it as a kid.
00:28:25
Speaker
And I was watching the episode the other day. And it's about, ah you know, was a this kid, he was a, like a basketball or a baseball superstar in high school.
Nostalgia for Classic TV Shows
00:28:35
Speaker
Then he gets into a motorcycle accident because that's the thing you do when you're a big superstar. You start riding motorcycle on the road.
00:28:43
Speaker
And anyway, he ends up hitting a truck. and and truck And Michael and the the guy that helps him out, Mark, start volunteering at the hospital where he's doing recovery because he's in a wheelchair.
00:28:58
Speaker
And he's lost both his legs. And he's going to do the pummel horse. it was And and i what's crazy is he set a line because Michael shows him, or sorry, Jonathan shows him,
00:29:13
Speaker
The pommel horse on the TV. And he and yeah he's he's like, look, you don't need your legs because you use it's all off your arm. And then the guy does the dismount. And this guy said the same thing I did.
00:29:25
Speaker
ah you know but How the fuck am I going to do that? am I going to fall on my fucking face? And I was like, I remember that line. Because i that that episode had stuck with me for some reason. But I i don't remember the episode.
00:29:42
Speaker
But I remember that line of, how am I going to do the desk now? it's it And it does he you know he was a popular kid in high school. And now nobody talks to him.
00:29:53
Speaker
Except this one nerdy girl who's actually really pretty. When she takes her glasses. good And she's just gaga for him. And he's like, why are you hanging out with me?
00:30:05
Speaker
Are we talking about Highway to Heaven still? Are we still talking about Highway Heaven? Yeah, no. It was an episode of Highway to Heaven I watched last night. It was like episode four or five of Highway to Heaven, season one.
00:30:16
Speaker
And I was like, this is just good, wholesome TV. Is it, though? oh dude, it's it's steeped in religion, though. Holy shit. Yeah.
00:30:27
Speaker
See, I'm not going to lie. This non-believer used to be a big believer in my adolescent years. And I do remember those shows a love like that. Those shows like that. it was Little House on the Prairie. I remember growing up. Never could get into Prairie.
00:30:43
Speaker
Not me, but I know my parents watched it. But, yeah you know, our age, we didn't have multiple TVs. We had one fucking TV and three fucking channels if we were lucky where I lived.
00:30:54
Speaker
Yeah, so we we were we were that generation that pretty much started off, we watched what our parents watched. That's why I've seen every episode of MASH. yeah Now, by the time we got into our teens, ah internet was starting to come online. Usually, have more than one TV in a house. It was starting to get more.
00:31:14
Speaker
Cheaper that way, but but yeah, you pretty much watch what your parents watched. It's not until you leave your nest, you end up finding your own fucking shit. Well, it's like, you know... Exactly. exactly like High five, Zampius.
00:31:32
Speaker
However, I'm still watching 21 Jump Street. I think I'm on a season five. And I fucking love it.
00:31:41
Speaker
the The duo of Johnny Depp and the other guy, I can't remember his name. Love it. However, do you remember Booker? he He actually showed up in season three of 21 Jump Street.
00:31:55
Speaker
The dude's a complete douche. And then they gave him his own TV show called Booker. I think it was three seasons. I don't remember Booker. I don't remember that much of 21 Jump Street.
00:32:07
Speaker
I never watched it as a kid. i remember I remember one time, like my dad didn't watch stuff like that, so pretty much what was on TV is what my dad approved of. ah remember I remember we were we were traveling, and we were staying in a hotel.
00:32:22
Speaker
And this was this was back when Nickelodeon was really starting to become a thing. it was they They had that old show, You can't you Cannot Say This on Television. And just say, I don't know, you get slimed and shit like that.
00:32:35
Speaker
Nickelodeon had some crazy shows back in the day. And my dad absolutely fucking hated that shit. And remember sitting there trying to watch that shit in the hotel room. It would not fly. Nope.
00:32:46
Speaker
Yeah. Well, your your your parents sound like my parents. Like when you were riding in the car, driver picks the music. Which I found funny because as soon as I turned 16 and got a car, it turns out the oldest person in the car picks the music. And I was like, this is bullshit. I bought this car.
00:33:02
Speaker
Why do we have to eat listen to fucking Holdings? Oh, because your parents got in your car and they changed the rules on you, huh? Yeah, it was like, this is bullshit. I was just fucking with you at that point. about no but what Once again, me me in high school with my license, I listened to you know heavy metal and and you know grunge and shit. like And my parents were, my dad, I think he glued the knob on the van to the oldies station.
00:33:30
Speaker
don't get me wrong, I love the oldies station. because of it. But like yeah when we were watching TV as a kid, I've seen every so of every episode of MASH and fucking Andy Griffith's show.
00:33:41
Speaker
And I love the Andy Griffith show. Dude, I remember Andy Griffith's show was definitely one thing I absolutely loved watching as a kid. It was wholesome. I dug it. Right. And it wasn't preachy.
00:33:53
Speaker
I did not like Matlock. like and't know I loved Matlock. didn't like Matlock. That was grandma's house. Lazy Jedi. Get your ass up here. but When we go to my grandma what's up dude go to my grandma Hawk's house, and every time I don't know what it was, no matter what, every time we went to my grandma Hawk's house, because she actually lived in town, we lived my closest neighbor was like what, two miles in any direction?
00:34:19
Speaker
So we lived out in the fucking booties. And we'd go to Grandma's house and she'd have TNT. And every time I'd turn on tv the TV, Dukes had it on. Oh, I was in heaven.
00:34:29
Speaker
Because there was a car in it and that's all I cared him about. i would See, i was I was raised that way. I was i was raised to be a hot rod head and mechanic and all that. But I don't know.
00:34:41
Speaker
Over time, let's just kind of... I just know. Well, it's it's not that I just learned to appreciate other things, too. And it's like i realize that I appreciate so much stuff. There's so much little cool things i I enjoy absorbing that.
00:34:59
Speaker
Oh, I agree. It's not about one particular thing for me, but it's how much I can get in before I die. And if I spend my life focused on one thing, if I spend my life focused on one thing, just cars, and I have no problem with people that do that, it's your child. You're like, choose. But for me, it's, yeah.
00:35:20
Speaker
Like, I absorb car novels. I love it. Prima Genie. Very controversial. She showed her belly. Yes, I remember that Bewitched, i actually liked better than I Dream of Jeannie.
00:35:35
Speaker
and That one, for some reason, made a little bit more sense, even though they were both supernatural shows. Jeannie was mostly annoying. What's that? yeah She was annoying little cub.
00:35:50
Speaker
yeah She always fucked everything up. Blitz was actually trying to help. You know? The Hillbillies, dude. I love the Hillbillies.
00:36:01
Speaker
what What did you think of the movie with Diedrich Vader and shit? As Jethro? I'm assuming that you're one that came out in the 90s? Yeah.
00:36:12
Speaker
I dug it. From what I remember, I haven't watched it since then. i i thought it was perfect. The Diedrich Vader character of Jethro was kind of a little bit over the top, but But I was watching...
00:36:26
Speaker
dump straight Oh, yeah. I definitely tolerated her. I mean, his tea I'm not going to lie. I got stuck in her genie bottle with her, I wouldn't be complaining. Not at all. She still looks good. Well, she looked good.
00:36:38
Speaker
She was in Mallrats. She played the woman that told Fortune... That's an old movie now. She was topless and in Mallrats, and she looked good. No, but...
00:36:54
Speaker
yeah I was watching 21 Jump Street the other night and season four, like episode seven, Dedrick Bader's first acting role is on 21 Jump Street.
00:37:04
Speaker
And when I saw him, he's he he's not Dedrick. You know, he's just kind of this real mild-mannered guy and just, and he drove a 68 Camaro that was gorgeous.
00:37:19
Speaker
That's the best thing about that show. Everybody's got a cool ride, man. That's like a fucking, that's like, God the fuck's that movie. Oh God, why is that movie escaping me? It's like one of my favorite movies.
00:37:34
Speaker
No, it's not. know It came out in the 90s, like 96 or something like that.
Classic Cars in Movies
00:37:40
Speaker
That's what like about those high school girls. Dazed and confused. like Everybody had a badass car in that fucking movie.
00:37:48
Speaker
It's like in the 70s. In the 70s, everybody had a hot rock. That's bullshit, dude. That was so hyperbole the 70s. Oh, agree. The thing is, though, if you look back, everything anybody drove...
00:38:00
Speaker
oh i agree but the thing is though still don't look back if you if you look back everything anybody drove then by today's standard would be cool because like, even if it was a shit box, it was still cool where now, you know, like my second car was 97 Dodge Neon, not a cool car. i mean, it was when I got done with it, but you know, my first car being my 69 Chevelle, I mean, that thing was gorgeous.
00:38:38
Speaker
You're going to raise your kids to be gearheads? Oh, constantly. like every Every time I pull out the tools, it's not about being gearheads. It comes down to... what I like to teach my kids you know you don't need to hire somebody to change a fucking light bulb or change a light socket. or you know so i was never into I've never been into
Modern vs. Traditional Westerns
00:39:04
Speaker
westerns.
00:39:04
Speaker
There's a very few westerns that I'll watch. Team Stones won Young Guns is another. um There's a couple modern westerns like Old Have No Country or whatever with Tommy Lee Jones. No Country Old Men?
00:39:19
Speaker
No Country for Old Men. That's another good western. But you can't watch like Clint Eastwood's old shit. Oh, God. Those old spaghetti westerns. Oh, my God, dude. there i would Now, I love the old kung fu movies from that same time period.
00:39:31
Speaker
Really? I'm not that guy. Yeah. ah Fair enough. Fair enough. Like, d in in the In the mid to late 90s, I will think I've watched every 80s movie ever. Black Widows and Cowboy Hats? I don't get that reference.
00:39:48
Speaker
don't know, but it sounds hot. ah Anyway, isn't anyway any Any Which Way But Lose It, isn't that a Clint Eastwood movie? Yes, it is. so it's ah It's where he's got a monkey.
00:40:00
Speaker
I'll tell you what, Jeff, and this is we getting western this is just a side track. This is just a side side note for Fighting Nights. If you want to, I know I had brought up doing a movie talk and long form shows later on. If you want to, if you want to say, hey, Blaze, I want you to watch an old spaghetti western and let's talk about it, I would do it for that. but Yeah, I'm not going to do that, buddy, because I can't even watch a spaghetti western.
00:40:26
Speaker
Like, I've seen ah The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, and I fall asleep every fucking time. I've missed, like, half the movie every time. And there's only that one good thing.
00:40:36
Speaker
It's the Mexican standoff. I didn't watch Blazing Saddles. i know this isn't really – it's a Western comedy, I guess. yeah I didn't i didn't watch and didn't watch Blazing Saddles for the first time until, like, last year the year before.
00:40:48
Speaker
real Oh my god, i love that movie. The end of the movie is kind of... I watched the unedited version too. I got the original. it's ah It's a good movie.
00:41:01
Speaker
Don't be wrong, it's ah it's a very good movie. i mean Right? There for the longest time, i wasn't really a movie buff. I mean, I'm really still not. I just like movies. but right I didn't really care about...
00:41:15
Speaker
oh you know who made this movie compared to who made this movie. All these movies are made by this person. That's why they're all about... you know i didn't care about that shit. later That's my new thing. as I'm trying to learn that stuff. but and I always like to learn actors' names.
00:41:32
Speaker
Especially you know doing this and doing the tv the the movie show, Nonsense and Chill, I like to know their names for the simple fact that I'm referencing somebody, I'm going to be like, you know that one guy with the tattoo on his chest. What is Dirtworks? Sounds familiar.
00:41:48
Speaker
is dirt works dirt sounds familiar
00:41:55
Speaker
Started Dirtworks building mu lot of modified Modifieds? Modifieds. Modifieds are a type of race car.
Toy Factory Work & Highway Exits Analogy
00:42:02
Speaker
Oh. They're open wheel short track.
00:42:05
Speaker
Oh, okay. They're the ones with that weird goofy wing on the on the top. Almost like 20 car? they're, it's a circle track. And let me, hold I'll show you what a modified track is.
00:42:23
Speaker
have to look it up.
00:42:28
Speaker
Here we go. Here's a decent picture. not I mean, not best, but shit. Oh, dirt track. Dirt track modified card. Okay, that makes more sense. That makes more sense. I know. I get it, dude. I fucking hate.
00:42:42
Speaker
I hate. These. I'm not correct, too. Let me. Like these.
00:42:49
Speaker
These are modifieds. oh Yeah, they're dirt, short track. I mean, you're talking like the size of ah of a track that you would see at a high school track meet.
00:43:03
Speaker
But it's mildly banked and smooth dirt. And these things will do upwards around 70, 80 miles an hour sideways around the whole fucking track. I had a buddy of mine that used to race him.
00:43:17
Speaker
Hold on, I'm looking at some of this new shit you put up here. Like, what is this? that Yeah, I put that up last weekend. mean that I made that today.
00:43:29
Speaker
I thought that was kind of cool. That's so bad. Right? I liked it. Well, as you see, our background tonight. three-eighths mile. There it is. there's our That's you blowing my mind last time you were here.
00:43:45
Speaker
was just you and me. Yes. Hello Blue didn't exist. weird, man. yeah I find it weird that I told you that and you're like, oh, wow. And you looked up and you're oh, shit, that is real.
00:44:00
Speaker
Right, that's why my head explodes. but but But you have a hard time wrapping around the idea that free will does not exist. Don't get me started. You know, I don't need that headache in my life, Blaze, damn it.
00:44:14
Speaker
I'm trying to let it go. it it i wake up at 2 o'clock in the morning to the night and say, he doesn't believe it exists. God, I hope not. But I'm also proponent that it's not – um'm also proponent that – well, no, I should i take that back. I used to, but I don't anymore. was to say there's this idea that just going about your day as if free will exists is okay, but I think that has long-term problems.
00:44:45
Speaker
bad implications on society as a whole. That's a conversation for another. we'll see here's My thought on this is I always attribute life to your driving down the road and life is a series of exits.
00:45:00
Speaker
As in a series of choices. If you know The end is always death, no matter which way you're going to take. But because of your choices, sometimes that road is shorter than others.
00:45:12
Speaker
And as you make an as you make an exit, another exit shows up. You know you get multiple exits you know every time a choice, no no matter how big or small the choice is. It sounds like traffic would be too confusing in your head.
00:45:25
Speaker
Yeah, it's just crazy. i was like You were i take it we here's another exit You take that exit, there's another exit Is it like there any surface roads Just to get anywhere, is it all just exits? No, because Here's where's what I'm saying is Because life is a choice You can continue going straight But, you know if you if you Should you go to McDonald's or Burger King? That's an exit you know yeah If you go to Burger King, you might get in a car accident In the parking lot If you go to McDonald's, you might just get a really good burger Or or get in a car accident there
00:45:57
Speaker
And depending on the choice you make determines your destiny. Fair enough. I put everything into card terms to make sense for myself, not for everybody. Oh, no, you're fine. No, I understand your analogy. Yeah. yeah i i think everything I mean, I understand. simple I oversimplify.
00:46:18
Speaker
I understand your analogy. I didn't say agreed with it. I agree. i hate And I'm not asking you to because God knows you won't. But it's one of those things. It's like... I have to simplify stuff like that for myself just so I don't freak the fuck out and start to overthink it.
00:46:34
Speaker
You know what i mean? oh Are you scared of an existential crisis? Daily. they're scared they're that's definitely dude it's Existential crises are not something to be fucking take lighthearted.
00:46:45
Speaker
Well, speaking of crises, we're getting to that middle age era. Are you worried about having a midlife crisis? Actually, think I've already went through mine.
00:46:56
Speaker
actually i think i've already went through mine Really? Did you date a younger woman get a red carpet? no to No, I don't think the midlife crisis means the same thing for everybody.
00:47:07
Speaker
My midlife crisis was after my divorce coming to terms with wow, I'm not married anymore. This is my midlife. you know I'm kind of, whoa, what the fuck? kind of kind of deal right so It was very existential for me.
00:47:21
Speaker
It's one of those things like i don't want to be that guy you know because you get that stereotype. like For instance, and tomorrow I came into money and I go out and buy my dream car. Everybody's like, oh yeah, he's having a midlife practice. No, I've wanted this car since birth.
00:47:35
Speaker
Calm down. Yeah, I don't understand how people... like i can't I can see if you're doing it in a manic episode. like right po I can see how you can classify that as a midlife crisis. But i mean if if if you have the money and it's something that you've been wanting for a long time, you've plan for it and blah, blah, blah. I don't think that's a crisis at all. That's just finally getting what you had saved up for. ah Yeah. Well, it my wife, my wife always says the same thing. She says, you know, God help you if you ever get a billion dollars. I think, one I think, I think that, I think what would cause a crisis is if you scraped and worked hard and, and, and you finally get to that point where you can do it and you're ready to
Wealth Management & Personal Desires
00:48:18
Speaker
do it. If somebody comes along and takes that away from you, I think. Oh yeah. that That'll blow my fucking brakes out right then. Yeah. Yeah, that would lead to... That right there would lead to a crisis.
00:48:27
Speaker
Oh, I agree. No, but like my my my wife and a couple of my ex-girlfriends have said this. shes said they both They've all said the same thing. God help you if you ever get more money than you know what to do with.
00:48:40
Speaker
Because in the first month, you will spend like $10 million dollars on like 80 cars. Because I'm that a weird guy that's like... I love this car, but I love this car. And I love, I don't know which one to get first. I would spend a month going, should I get this one? Should get that? one Fuck it. I'll get both, you know?
00:48:58
Speaker
Because know at this point, I think if I had that much money, I'd probably give it a little all the way. I'd buy what I needed. to live off the off the grid per se and enough to make sure I'm good when I need it. but other than that, I'd give it out.
00:49:11
Speaker
I'd give it away. I'd donate it. I don't know about it. Well, I like the idea of like living off the dividends or something like that. like Enough money where the interest alone will keep me... Oh, yeah.
00:49:22
Speaker
Yeah, I'm fine with something like that. yeah I don't need to be fucking Elon Musk with more money than brains. I mean, I have that now. I got 20 bucks. I mean, does anybody need excessive wealth?
00:49:33
Speaker
no No, but I get the concept of like, i want to be able to buy anything. yeah I don't. i don't like Can you explain me? well okay I don't understand that concept. Can you explain that Well, for instance,
00:49:50
Speaker
if if let's let's let's put it in terms you'll understand. Let's say weed is unattainable. It's unattainable. unattainable like it's it's You have to have you know couple million dollars to buy ounce or something like that.
00:50:07
Speaker
You want that. and and you you know it all like say From today to tomorrow, it goes from $4 an ounce to $100,000 an ounce. You still want that. so You're like, I need this much money.
00:50:19
Speaker
but hold where's it Where's these $4 ounces you're finding out today? know' i knows that and I don't know. like like like like i never bought wheat I mean, we're talking like mid, like mids, like mid quality, an ounce would probably be at 150 to 200. Really?
00:50:37
Speaker
See, I have no concept. I want to see these $4 ounces, man. And you're, I'm joking. I know what you mean. and know No, but it's like, you know, it's it's like for me, i want to, the I have this, don't know how can I explain myself, I'm like a douche.
00:50:54
Speaker
You know how when you go into a building and there's like a bellboy or, you know, Well, not necessarily a bellhop, but like somebody that works at a security guard something. And he's got this, I'm a big bad guy and you can't come because you're wearing a fucking hat.
00:51:10
Speaker
I want to be that guy that walks and be like, you know going this fucking building just so I can fire that. Wait, hold up. You can't wear a hat in a building? Weird analogy. So I wouldn't just... i alright So I would turn around and just go back to that building.
00:51:27
Speaker
No, I'd buy the building just so I could fuck that guy up. really Like I'm that asshole. Like if if tomorrow I found out I had, you know, more money than Elon Musk, there's like nine buildings in Cancun that I would own by the end of the week.
00:51:42
Speaker
I think, I think if I had more money than I would just give them to the, i'd buy give them to the employees like a week later, I'd buy America back and give it back to the people. but like see But see, that's that's my thing. is like I would buy it just so I could fire that guy and then I would turn around and give it to you or give it to somebody. you i like i don't want it.
00:52:01
Speaker
I just wanted to piss that guy. you know i' give and everybody's And people say Kendrick Lamar had had the like the epitome of pettiness. I think that takes the cake. Oh, I'm petty.
00:52:13
Speaker
i'm I'm fucking Tom Petty.
00:52:16
Speaker
You're Tom Petty. It makes hearts break. my my ah I used to work at at Best Day. Best Day is a travel agency. and it's it's it's a you know It's in every fucking country. and My wife worked there as well. and Fucking parking lot was empty.
00:52:38
Speaker
I pulled in and the we weren't allowed to park there and until like 4 o'clock. It was 3.50. three fifty And the security guard being, he can't pull in until for so four o'clock. And i was like, so you're gonna be that asshole?
00:52:54
Speaker
And I sat there. I literally put the car in park and blocked the fucking driveway. Well, nobody else was going. you not blocking it from anybody. no cause that's gonna go You would have vendors coming in. You would have reps from other companies coming in I blocked it so nobody could come in. I was like, fuck it. You're that dick.
00:53:11
Speaker
You're like, oh, so. No, I was like, this guy won't let me go in for 10 minutes? Fuck you, I'll block it. So you're that guy that's like, oh, this guy won't bend the rules for me. So I'm going to fucking put a goddamn fly in the oil. It was 10 minutes. It was 10 minutes.
00:53:25
Speaker
ten minutes but which air one hundred and buck two hundred ballss fifty fifth parking lot He could have a boss that would fire him if he would have let you in 10 minutes early.
00:53:36
Speaker
um I agree, but at the end of the day, he didn't explain anything like that. He wasn't nice. He was you know didn't have explain it. He didn't owe you an explanation.
00:53:48
Speaker
I didn't say he did, but I'm wearing a uniform that has the same name as the fucking building. Mm-hmm. It's 10 minutes. And I get it. He could get in trouble, which he couldn't because he didn't work for Best Day. he They were an outsourced company as security.
00:54:06
Speaker
And all he had to do was like, you know what? Can you please run drive around the block or something that? so i'm ah okay He just straight up was a dick about you.
00:54:17
Speaker
so i to understand okay I kind of understand what you're talking about. There's there there's been a couple moments in my life where i have made i have caused a scene. This was my surprise. Nice!
00:54:31
Speaker
What's he talking about? Hold on. I'm going to show everybody. oh ah Yeah, go ahead. yeah You go ahead and show. anyway but I'm going to tell my story first. Go ahead. There was one time I got petty and I made a scene in a theater in Guam.
00:54:46
Speaker
Guam only had one theater and it was in the mall and it was up. It was, it was the second floor of the mall. mean, this shit could change, but this was back in like 06, 08. And it was when the Brandon Ruth Superman movie came out and it came out. ran roth Yes.
00:55:04
Speaker
ah rock And i just happened, I was off that day and I was like, I'm to watch a movie. I'm somebody that will go to the movie theater watch a movie by myself. If you think that's weird, um go fuck yourself. and so I get to the theater. I buy my ticket.
00:55:21
Speaker
and I'm like, cool. going go play video games. cause I usually get there to a theater about a half hour early just so I can like use the bathroom, get concessions if I need to. and I love going to play the arcades.
00:55:34
Speaker
and so That's what my my my routine is. I'm there by myself. I'm enjoying my time. bla bla bla and i start to walk in Because the the ticket booth is like right here. And then over this way is where the theater is, the arcade, the concession stands and all that.
00:55:53
Speaker
Mm-hmm. What I didn't notice was there was this line of people like behind this, this like, you know, the, the ropes at a bank or something where they partitioned people off.
00:56:04
Speaker
Yeah. It was a whole line of people. And I just didn't really care. I didn't fucking, you know, didn't, you weren't paying attention. Yeah. I didn't care. So the guy stopped me as I'm walking in. I'm like, Oh, here's my ticket, dude. I'm good. I just bought my tickets. Like, no, no, no, you gotta go wait over there.
00:56:17
Speaker
Like, what do you mean I got to go wait over there? There's like nobody in here. I just want to go play arcade games before I go watch my movie. He's like, no, you're with that group. You have to go stand there. I was like, I am not with that group. Well, that group bought all the, apparently this group in line had bought every fucking seat in that goddamn theater except for the one that I bought.
00:56:34
Speaker
ah So this guy was sitting there saying, because I was going to be in the same theater with them as their group, he automatically clumped me in with them and told me to go wait over there.
00:56:47
Speaker
i was like, no, you can go fuck yourself. like I'm going to go play video games while I go watch to play my, or watch i'm as I go away to watch movie, I'm not with these people. I came here on my own. I don't know even who they are.
00:57:02
Speaker
They were some church group or some shit. Right. And so the guy was like, I'm sorry, I can't let in. It's like, dude, there's nobody in there. There's not even a line at the concession stand. What do you mean? I can't go in and play fucking video games.
00:57:13
Speaker
And I said, at this point, I was yelling. Like you can hear me down the other side of the fucking wall. I'm that guy. And why y'all alone up there? Because Glick gli went to a yeah a concert. And Jeff's going to show us something. but I want to finish my story, Dan. No, go ahead. Finish your story first. Glick's not going to sit there and interrupt the show while I'm telling my story. Yeah, fuck him.
00:57:37
Speaker
He could have been here if you want to interrupt. He can't have it both ways, man. And so I was like, I want to talk to your fucking manager right now because this is bullshit. You're sitting here telling me doing.
00:57:49
Speaker
i did. i went Karen that day, man. I'm not going to lie. I went Karen before. I never... i never car so dirt street like an but Well, i was pissed I'm being told to go be herded somewhere with a group of people I'm not even with. Like, you're ruining my day, man. and This is like my day to come out, enjoy a movie, and play some video games. This is my time.
00:58:09
Speaker
How going to fuck my day up? Yeah, just because you've got your big pants on, you don't get to... Yeah, the manager comes out, I calmly explain the whole situation to him. He's like, ahead and go play video games. I was like, thank you.
00:58:22
Speaker
Yeah, no. Yeah, so. No, but like i said, it comes down to, it's like, if you're calm and nice and like, look, I understand it's only 10 minutes, like I said with the parking lot thing.
00:58:33
Speaker
If he would have been like, look, I get it. It's only 10 minutes. If you could take a ride around. He didn't do that. He just got, no. but she got get see And that's where I was like, when you fuck it.
00:58:44
Speaker
Put the bitch in park, block the road. Fuck you. yes see I think that situation is different because there was already established protocols that affected everybody equally.
00:58:54
Speaker
i showed up I showed up at a time under the impression without understanding that while I was not there, the rules changed. And then I had to just go by. Understood.
00:59:06
Speaker
However, I've literally been in that parking lot. I had parked in that parking lot the week before at like two o'clock. fair Without a problem. So it's it wasn't like I was trying to do something against the rules.
00:59:18
Speaker
There was no rule except for, you know, it was a general rule, but it wasn't really enforced. Yeah. but Because i like I was dropping off paperwork or something like that. It was like five minutes. but And I was literally going in for maybe 10 minutes.
00:59:32
Speaker
And he's like, no. And I was like, oh, you want to play this game. And I literally blocked two lanes of road because I had the Malibu. And that was 18 feet long. I'll drop that link again.
00:59:43
Speaker
Yeah. ie So Glick is not here for the simple fact he just sent us a video on what he's doing. He went to a Southern Outlaws concert. Yeah. And here's a little clip.
01:00:15
Speaker
Yeah. I can't wait to get my T-shirt. I can say that because I know Dave's not watching. That was Southern Outlaws playing, i didn't see what the surprise was. Oh, that Glick was there. That was the surprise. What's up, buddy?
01:00:27
Speaker
We already knew that. No, he didn't tell us. He said they were going out of town. No, I saw a post on Facebook saying, yeah, we'll be there. I'll be down.
01:00:39
Speaker
but he like i mean, i like I remember him not sick. I now remember him not going to be here tonight, but it did it didn't click because I'm sick.
01:00:50
Speaker
So it didn't. Anyway, I am trackable. what's up What's up, buddy? Yes. Good to see you guys. Thank you for having me. You're welcome here, buddy.
01:01:02
Speaker
It is open-door challenge. anybody is we're talking about We're talking about right now moments of pettiness. And Blaze gave a ah moment of his Karen-ness.
01:01:15
Speaker
Are you that petty guy on Dracomole? Hold on. Hold on. You thought I had a Karen I mean, I know I joked about it, but don't think had a Karen moment. No, no. No, but you know you rightfully had a Karen moment.
01:01:29
Speaker
You rightfully had it. I wasn't saying you had a Karen moment because somebody got you cold fries something. You see, I always think a Karen moment is unrighteous. Does that make sense? I agree. I agree. Fair enough.
01:01:39
Speaker
Fair enough. But you rightfully had that Karen moment. For me, a Karen moment is when you ask for the manager. I'm the asshole that just starts screaming until the manager comes over.
01:01:50
Speaker
i only ask I only ask for the manager when I know the employees are dumb fuck. If the manager would have told me no, probably would have been arrested. would have just shoulder checked him and went in. Hey, I don't i wouldn't blame you either.
01:02:05
Speaker
And I would have been in the back of that line going, fuck yeah, I'm with him! I don't want to go play fucking video game yeah games. Are you like that untrackable? Do you do your little...
01:02:19
Speaker
fuck you, you can't tell me what to do thing?
01:02:24
Speaker
i I have my moments, for sure.
01:02:30
Speaker
have to pick and choose them. There is no guarantee that ah you know, I have to try to foresee an outcome to my actions.
01:02:45
Speaker
Because it's it's easy to, you know, stifle someone else. But that the aftermarket winds up being, if you can think about what, you know, the possibilities after the fact are going to be.
01:03:03
Speaker
that Well, we were talking about how if if I had... Think before you do. Well, and that's that's what we were talking about. We were talking about the fact that, like, we were talking about how if I had enough money, I'd be the petty asshole that if the security guard told me I couldn't do something, I'd buy the building.
01:03:21
Speaker
Just so I can fire him and go, fuck you, now I can do what I want. Like, I'm that kind of guy. um And then I was explaining how... ah You do have to think within the possibilities that are within your range to have an accurate... um you know response oh ah Otherwise, you're just dreaming.
01:03:44
Speaker
I drive past a a billboard that says the lottery is a billion dollars. I don't get to treat people like my pipe dreams of winning a billion dollars. no no but i'm saying I'm saying that you know if I walk in a building and the security guard nice to me and everybody's not, I'm fine.
01:04:04
Speaker
But for no reason, if a security guard is like, hey, got to take off your fucking hat. No, not going to happen. i've had I've never been in a building where somebody told me to take off my hat. and Well, besides when I was active duty, I already knew I had to. well Yeah, that's different though.
01:04:17
Speaker
yeah but like I'm just using that as an example. like But I don't go anywhere that would tell me to take off my hat. The question goes on to be, do you want to be in that building and get where you want to go um without having to deal with this son of a bitch?
01:04:33
Speaker
Or if I'm going somewhere... and kate like For instance, I was talking about how I had to go and do... I knew the job I was doing one day, and they wouldn't let me go in the parking lot 10 minutes before 4 o'clock um so I could park because I wasn't technically allowed in there until 4, and I blocked the driveway because I'm that petty.
01:04:54
Speaker
was like, well, fine. If I can't go in, nobody's going in because it's only 10 minutes, i see as you just said. I'm to run downstairs and make me another cup of hot tea. How about that? So it was like, but like in that moment, if I would have Elon Musk money, I would have owned that building in that 10 minutes.
01:05:10
Speaker
I'd be like, you what? I'm buying this building just to fire this fucking guy.
01:05:15
Speaker
That's what, that's, that's the example I was giving. Like not for no reason, like because some security guard has his big boy pants on and thinks he's a Billy badass, Billy badass because he's got like a paper badge on. Oh, let's play this game.
01:05:30
Speaker
you know oh Well, I would ask you on the counter, if you own that building and you hired a security force to do certain things, um they would they would be gave vague rules.
01:05:46
Speaker
Right. But as I was explaining to Blaze, the day before, I was in the parking lot at 3 o'clock. So it was it wasn't established rule. It was like a general rule. Nobody really gave a fuck because it was a 200 car parking lot.
01:06:03
Speaker
And at the time that I was getting ready to go in, there was only four cars in there. But he wouldn't let me in 10 minutes early because he wanted to be Billy Badass.
01:06:14
Speaker
and And this was about a parking space, not access to the building. Access to the building and parking lot. Because they have a they have a giant, ah you know, they have a big fence around the whole lot.
01:06:26
Speaker
And you have to drive in through security. And he wouldn't let me in, even though I was wearing my uniform that had the same name as the building on it. And he's like, you can't go in and before four. and I'm like, I was here yesterday at three and parked right there where I always park.
01:06:43
Speaker
And he's like, nope, you're not doing it today. I was like, let's play this game. Because I believe in that moment, I was in the right because I'd done it like three weeks in a row prior.
01:06:56
Speaker
what What was your reaction to ah the note? Oh, I blocked the driveway so nobody could go in.
01:07:05
Speaker
And I sat there for 10 minutes.
01:07:08
Speaker
because what it what would it What if somebody that did have authorization to come in before four... Don't care....that one? Don't care because that guy was being a dick for no reason.
01:07:22
Speaker
Because it's well it's not like we were in a fucking hospital. you know It's not like it was emergency situation. It came down to I had worked there for a year and every day for a year I would get there at 3 o'clock, 3.30 and they would let me in. No problem. This guy was new and he was like, oh no, nope, nope, nope. And I was like, yeah, no, we're not playing this game.
01:07:42
Speaker
And he just wanted to be a dick because he had a sewn on badge onto his shirt. And I was like, no, no problem. and this one you I kind of ah kind of relate to this because yeah I have a job and um they changed it from clocking in 15 minutes prior to 10 minutes prior.
01:08:09
Speaker
But our our work on Saturday is released later on Friday.
01:08:18
Speaker
Which means as long as I have a teammate oh based off of what I do, ah which means I could get a random teammate, and the schedule says seven.
01:08:32
Speaker
Right. So you have to clock in 15 to 10 minutes ahead? I don't have to, but that is the allowance.
01:08:43
Speaker
That is the allowance. you clock in a half hour before. You have to wait at least 10 minutes. Yes. and So if you get there early, you have to wait. It used to be 15 minutes, so they've changed it to 10 minutes.
01:08:58
Speaker
But on Saturday, the work is released on later on Friday, which means it's sitting there waiting for me. Oh, okay.
01:09:11
Speaker
However, um I could get a... I do get um a different teammate than the usual teammate on Saturday because of the way our schedules work.
01:09:29
Speaker
On Mondays and on Saturdays, you get a random teammate because there's only two of us that do this and we get random teammates on those days.
01:09:43
Speaker
So thinking that it's Saturday, And there were some changes made um for what we do. I wanted to come and inspect what we do.
01:09:58
Speaker
So I clocked in on the dot 645 rather than 650. on the dot six forty five
01:10:07
Speaker
rather than six fifty
01:10:13
Speaker
ah no i've I've been doing this same thing for almost almost the better part of 10 years. How about that?
01:10:22
Speaker
Don't question my five minutes. right if If you want to make a big deal about my five minutes, go ahead and pull up the camera and watch me inspect what I'm about to walk into I agree when when i do my thing.
01:10:42
Speaker
um ah Ain't nobody stopping me. There's no security guard at the gate like you were talking about. And ain't no supervisor going to stop me from clocking in early.
01:10:54
Speaker
they They can adjust it later. Hey, go ahead and take take the whole 15 minutes from me and just make it like I clocked in barely on time.
01:11:06
Speaker
I don't care about the adjustment. Just, ah hey, the shit that I'm about to do, or I'm about to look at, it might cost me more than five minutes.
01:11:18
Speaker
And the last thing I want to do is look at as being late. So I'm here and I'm doing my thing, but ah I'm not a supervisor, but I am a supervisor of what I'm responsible for.
01:11:34
Speaker
ah So kiss ass at the end of the day. If you don't want to pay me for those 15 minutes, you are not going to hurt my fucking face. but I am going to take ah us a scope of what I'm about to walk into.
01:11:49
Speaker
If there's nothing to look at, yeah, I'm a, I'm a grab a drink. I'm a take a piss, maybe take a shit in a clean toilet and, and, and move on about my day. If you don't want to pay me for that, go fuck yourself. I don't care.
01:12:06
Speaker
But to think that I'm going to walk into a problem, ah because I'm not allowed to clock in at XYZ, you can go ahead and kiss my ass because that's exactly why I clocked in early because I was given privy that there could possibly be an adjustment to what I did yesterday that might need to be addressed immediately.
01:12:34
Speaker
I used to work at Step 2. I fucking hate this job. I don't know what that means. step Okay, so you ever seen those plastic mailboxes? Little Tykes came out with all these tools and they're step one, step two, step three, depending on the age of the child.
01:12:50
Speaker
And Jeff is short because of his stature. He plays with step two. yeah so Step two is actually a toy. They make they make ah like playhouses, the play kitchens, they make rocking horses and they're they're blown plastic.
01:13:08
Speaker
And they they actually, they're in powder form. And you put the powder in a mold, bolt the mold together, and it spins through an oven. And it spins in all directions, and it comes out as a mold.
01:13:20
Speaker
And then you pull the mold, and you you have to trim blast the excess plastic. And that was my job, was trimming plastic all fucking night. And I i built rocking horses.
01:13:31
Speaker
Three would come out at a time, and... I had it down to a science where I would have a good five minutes break in between each set because I would rock through it and I would keep my... ah they they They give you what looks like a bottle opener that's sharp and you you stretch it along the seam and clean it up.
01:13:55
Speaker
And then you put the stickers on it and the stick on eyes and all that shit. You know them little buggy? They're little buggies that They're red and they have the little yellow hood and kids ride on them and you got the handle, the blue handle. Oh yeah, yeah, a little tights car. Yeah. that's That's actually step two.
01:14:12
Speaker
I used to make those. And it to make one takes four people. One to trim it, one to put it together, one to put the wheels on, one to put the stickers on, and one to inspect it and then put the box.
01:14:24
Speaker
And how much did everybody get paid? The workers that put that together... What do they get paid? I don't remember how much those things cost. This is in two.
01:14:36
Speaker
This right before I moved here. So it was late 01 early 02. I don't remember. But I was making like 15 bucks an hour.
01:14:48
Speaker
Oh, wow. it' So four people making 15 bucks an hour to build a $50 product. Now, here's the thing. I know y'all built more than all that. just Oh, yeah. However, how how long did it take you guys build one?
01:15:00
Speaker
Oh, you can build one. From the second one tub comes off the line, you know, they you know what well, not that's not including the guy that puts in the powder, but he puts in the powder for four different lines.
01:15:12
Speaker
So there's four giant tumblers like like they are, i think they're 10 feet across and they hold four holes. I'm just trying look up the value of labor compared to wage compared to the price of the product.
01:15:27
Speaker
The second one comes off the line, I could trim one, yeah three would come off the line, I'd trim all three in about a minute and a half each. ah but Call it a minute a piece, then another minute for somebody put the wheels on it, another minute put the the but hood and the steering wheel on it, another minute to put the stickers on, another minute to test the handle, put the hole in the handle, and then put in the box.
01:15:53
Speaker
So call it four minutes, four or five minutes a piece. Call it five minutes. Call it five minutes each. And there's four people, five minutes each, for about 20 minutes.
Assembly Line Work & Unauthorized Activities
01:16:05
Speaker
So you know that you would build in three minutes, you would build three.
01:16:11
Speaker
Okay. So like if you're the wheel guy, all you do is put wheels on that fucker all night. You get handed one, you put the wheels on it and pass it along, put the wheels on and pass along. Um,
01:16:24
Speaker
and then i think had i'm just im just I was just curious about the... Yeah. Go ahead. It's called Teamwork. Yeah. Teamwork makes dream work, baby.
01:16:36
Speaker
This is what they look like, by the way. This right here. I used to build those all night.
01:16:45
Speaker
Okay. and i was thinking i was see you know what i was thinking and I was thinking it was the bigger. i I was thinking it was those, the red and yellow ones, but I got you. yeah my kid yeah yeah Those are like five bucks at at the at at Goodwill too.
01:16:58
Speaker
yeah And they fucking last long. Those things can take a beating. and laugh Oh yeah. Well, what was really cool is like the powder, the powder looked like, it looked like powdered sugar.
01:17:11
Speaker
and It had the tech dexterity of sand. Like it felt like sand. And you could you could ahead take... But it had the effects of cocaine. No, what was really cool about it is you could literally take a 20-ounce bottle, like your old Coke bottle, and fill it with powder. Take the powder home, and we would cover our keys with that plastic.
01:17:30
Speaker
You heat up your key and dip it in there, and then you've got a cover for your key. And we eventually got in trouble for it. But we would do it all. i would i would I had like nine colors because it doesn't cost anything.
01:17:43
Speaker
Excuse me. Because we would have these big, I think they're 500-gallon tubs of these it beach shredded plastic. Hey, Jeff. Knock, knock.
01:17:57
Speaker
What's up? Who's there? Break time. Yeah.
01:18:23
Speaker
crowd, try to have fun. Now the biggest light, they won't lose their glow. The fam will play. Go on with the show.
01:18:35
Speaker
You're gonna get your
01:19:58
Speaker
Don't you go too far. Just know this. Let me give you pause. For you melt your bones. For your inner sin of God.
01:20:09
Speaker
You're going to get your turn.
Music & Event Announcements
01:21:04
Speaker
and Watch You Burn by the Southern Outlaws, man. Their new single dropped yesterday. And by 8 a.m., I had it on my Spotify list because ah love that song.
01:21:18
Speaker
I've listened to it like, I think they have like maybe 500 plays and 400 more. I really like that song. Welcome back, everybody, to Nonsensical Nonsense.
01:21:29
Speaker
It is the Open Door Challenge. I'm going to ahead and drop that link one more time. Not that it's not there, but, you know, whatever. look I don't care. um
01:21:40
Speaker
Come on up Talk about us. Talk to us. Whatever. Click's not here, and I don't really care. When it comes to putting the link out there, and some when when it comes to ah you know ah putting a link out there but Why don't y'all post it up top?
01:22:00
Speaker
Oh, it automatically just goes in. and That way it's clickable. You talking on the link or in the in the description? um man Oh, is the link in the description?
01:22:12
Speaker
No, no. We post it in the chat. We put it in the chat. um The reason why we don't is because when we set up the studio, We could probably go back and put it in the link, but that's just sounds like a lot of work.
01:22:26
Speaker
Let's be honest. We're lazy. Well, I mean, ive i've been the but is I've been a bunch of places where it's it's posted at the top of the chat. um but I don't know how to do that.
01:22:40
Speaker
Hey, i'm I'm not questioning how you do what you do. I'm just saying what what I've seen. i yeah so like you and mean I understand what you mean. So Untrackable, when we start Saturday night's Open Door Challenge, we don't throw the link the first time.
01:22:57
Speaker
we Usually Glick likes to talk for a while and then then put the link out. the state itself yeah so we're just yeah but I do know what you mean. i do know what you mean Glick's not here, so we don't have any roles. So fuck it.
01:23:13
Speaker
hey do invited me And it's always good to see you guys. And thank you for responding. We appreciate you coming. And having me up.
01:23:25
Speaker
Yeah, sorry about the other the other Friday night when you popped up on a nonsense and chill. It was kind of a different sort of setup. It's different animal. It's a different animal. Yeah, we were having trivia night.
01:23:37
Speaker
We're trying to make trivia night. I tend to work drink a bit, so it's not your fault. I blame myself for not knowing what I was participating in. I think I interrupted one of your escapes.
01:23:52
Speaker
but No, you didn't. No, actually, that reminds me. I have a game for you, Blaze. I was going to play this with Glick, and I'm tracking what can play as well.
01:24:03
Speaker
and have you ever um go Have you ever heard Monkey's Ball? Yeah, I have, but one sec. I just want to do a shameless plug right now. Please. February. It's going to be our second trivia night for this year, and it's going to be action movies from the 80s, 90s, and the early aughts.
01:24:20
Speaker
Excuse me. Man, this is fucking cold or whatever. Oh, you know what? you I just thought of something you could tell yeah So, yeah. Go ahead. And it's open. It's open to everyone whoever wants to come and join. There's going to three rounds. Each round has 12 questions.
01:24:35
Speaker
ah The questions depends on what's... what's being picked by the contestants. So yeah if the first two rounds, all the ahlthough questions and scenes are picked, well, the last round's not been audio clips. But yeah.
01:24:48
Speaker
Because I still not. I just thought of something really cool you could do with those grenades. The first grenade, you put 80s. The second grenade, you put the 90s. And the third grenade, put the double zero.
01:25:02
Speaker
I'm not changing it. Send it to me, I'll fucking add it. it it's I don't give shit. Anywho.
01:25:13
Speaker
The point is February 28th is action movie trivia night. but im suck um Whatever these grenades say on top, it doesn't matter. I'm just saying.
01:25:25
Speaker
i'm I'm mildly disappointed that I can't be a contestant this time because that's one of my genres. Well, that's what happens when you're a co-host of a show. That's all right. i'm I'm technically not allowed to win anyways.
01:25:38
Speaker
Well, i got i got ah i got a I got a message from YouTube saying that was cheating and I wasn't allowed to do that. What? joking, man. Oh. Are you serious?
01:25:50
Speaker
No, have you ever played the game Monkey's Ball? No, i i thought you were telling I thought you were going to talk about the story Monkey's Ball. No, so Monkey's Ball is a game. You make a wish.
01:26:01
Speaker
However, and and I'm going to quote unquote grant the wish, but I have to throw a caveat on it that makes you regret the wish. Okay. So I think you need to go read the story of monkeys, Paul, because this makes well i you know the story.
01:26:17
Speaker
I don't know the story. Please go ahead. I'm curious. I want you to tell your monkey's paw game while I look the story up and I'll read it. Okay. so monkey's paw is simple. So for instance, you make a wish. Let's say you wish for a billion dollars.
01:26:32
Speaker
And my counter to that is, yes, you'll get the billion dollars all in gold and it crushes you.
01:26:38
Speaker
All at once. Now you're dead. and now you're So you got the wish, but the caveat is that you died because of Or let's say you're like, I want a million dollars. Okay, you're going to get a million dollars, but it's going to be Jamaican dollars. It's only worth about 100 grand.
01:26:57
Speaker
Yeah. So says make them regret it. I think that's been um I think that's so something that the making the wish. where you um you think you can make a simple wish, but you are entrusted to think that they have your best interests at heart.
01:27:19
Speaker
ah So how specific do you have to make a wish to make sure that you are not... Exactly, that's the game. how lost Better have a lawyer when you make a wish. I swear to God. the one The genius one I saw, this guy was like, I want to be able to leak tall buildings in a single bound.
01:27:37
Speaker
And he's like, yes, you can, but you can only do it once. And he's like, why can't I do it once? Because once you do it, you have to land and you're going to die. i want so They made that movie with ah Brendan Fraser and um that that hot chick.
01:27:54
Speaker
It's called Bedazzled. Bedazzled, yeah. So, like, he he got to be, like, the seven-foot tall basketball player. but holds the
01:28:06
Speaker
but like I was like, want to be the greatest basketball player ever. and And she's like, and I'll say the magic words, Michael Jordan. And much she first says Den Rodman, and then he's dressed as a woman.
01:28:19
Speaker
And then he becomes Michael Jordan. He becomes this seven-foot amazing basketball player, but he's stupid and he's got a little bitty dick.
01:28:30
Speaker
I mean, just look at real life. um Kobe Bryant. um he He had through a lawsuit. Somebody accused him of some stuff.
01:28:42
Speaker
Look at Shaquille O'Neal. ah He's not married to his first wife, and they have a happy family together. And a book was written that included him in the debauchery.
01:28:55
Speaker
oh Look at Allen Iverson. I would want to be Shaquille O'Neal, let's be honest. but look at Allen Iverson who, you know, made a bunch of money. He never got a championship, but he spent so much money that he had to do other things, you know, to survive. If could choose any career from the NBA, I would want Shaqs because that dude, he can't do no wrong.
01:29:21
Speaker
You want the synopsis of the Lucky Paul story? Please, please. I'm curious. ah Please go ahead. This is where the game gets its name from. So this this was a story that was originally written back in 1902. It's been adapted plenty of times.
01:29:36
Speaker
I'm familiar with it from different other medias, but the Symptoms did it. Yeah, yeah, One of the true house spoilers. Absolutely. All right, this is the plot. I'm just going read the plot because this is a long story. I'm not going read a little fucking story.
01:29:47
Speaker
oh there is a horror is's It's a horror short story. This is the plot on Wiki. Mr. and Mrs. White and their grown son, Herbert, are visited by Sergeant Major Morris, a friend who served in the British Army in India.
01:30:00
Speaker
During dinner, he introduces them to a mummified monkey's paw. He explains on how... What's going No. No, you're right. He explains how an old fucker or fucker or whatever has placed a spell on the paw. So, you know, this to be too long. So basically this paw comes with like, if you make a wish. Yeah.
01:30:21
Speaker
yeah So like they were in debt. one of their first wishes was to pay off their debt. Well, the money showed up. But how did the money show up? Through insurance policy or because their son died at work. And so the boss felt bad that their son died at work. So they paid. They paid for that. Right. The caveat.
01:30:38
Speaker
Yeah, the caveat. and then and then they were like, oh no, and then they wished for their son back, and their son came back, but it wasn't. But he was a zombie. Basically, yeah. yeah so Anyway, it's ah it's ah it's a horror story from 1902.
01:30:52
Speaker
It's a great horror story. I think if you read it, there's been video a adaptations. it's It's actually really good. Once again, the only reason I saw this on TikTok, and this guy was like, I'm the greatest at this game.
Horror Stories & Survival Scenarios
01:31:05
Speaker
And I was like, that would be a great game for Saturday night.
01:31:08
Speaker
because even Even one finger of that monkey's paw creates a whole movie because if you look at Pet Sematary where it was like the the kid got hit by a truck on the side of the road.
01:31:25
Speaker
One finger, bring my son back. Oh, well, that would that's a simple wish, right? But guess what happens? you've already You already know the story.
01:31:38
Speaker
yeah Guess what happens when you make a simple wish? Yeah, you gotta be specific when comes wish. The consequences are dryugh dire. it Sorry, I was checking my battery.
01:31:50
Speaker
I'm sorry. Oh, no, I'm just... Put a fresh battery in. I'm curious know how it's gonna last. I should be fine. I'm just trying to get a good good good headspace about it. What's up?
01:32:05
Speaker
Jedi, how you doing, man? Oh, not bad. What are you guys talking about? I saw this this concept of a game on TikTok and it's it's called Monkey's Ball. You make a wish and then I or whoever is playing with you gets to add a caveat to it.
01:32:26
Speaker
And the caveat is to make you regret said wish. And it's called Monkey's Ball. And then Blaze was explaining the kind the what but monkey Monkey's backtory All right, Jeff, you name you make a wish. I'm going to see how a hell fucked up I can get.
01:32:43
Speaker
Oh, I want to hear this. Make a wish, because I want to add the caveat. He wished he was a United States citizen again. can get a green card. and oh All right, I can play this game.
01:33:03
Speaker
Okay, let's do it simple. I'll start out simple.
01:33:09
Speaker
I can fly like Superman and I won't die from it. i can fly like supermans and i won't die from it but you But you're infected with herpes for the rest of your life and nobody's ever going to want to have sex with you.
01:33:24
Speaker
Is that how the game works? He already has that without the superpowers. I was like, I don't need this. Why, dude? I already got that.
01:33:36
Speaker
So nothing changes except now I'm just making sure I'm making sure i I'm getting the rules. Hey, Jeff, just so you know, you can't fly away from your problems, bro. Apparently not. No, I was just trying to make it simple.
01:33:47
Speaker
But I saw this game and the one guy was like, I want a million dollars. go Okay, you'll get it all in gold and it will crush you. And I was like, damn, that's fucked up.
01:33:58
Speaker
That's actually, that's a good one, though. Well, in the one there's ah there's a TikTok where this guy, this whole this guy's whole TikTok, every video is him deciding on the wish. He's like, let me run a scenario by you. And he's like, I want a million dollars. He's like, okay, you're going get a million dollars, but it's Jamaican dollars.
01:34:15
Speaker
And it comes up to about a thousand bucks. He's like, okay, I'd like a billion dollars in my name. Okay, it's a billion dollars, but it's your name, but not your social security number. And I was like, damn it, dude. I wish for unlimited supply of weed, but the caveat is it's only super weed. You can't smoke it. You have all the weed you can smoke, but with no lighter. But you have lung cancer, so you can't do anything with it. That's like being an alcoholic. Ooh, I got all these kegs, got a fucking tap.
01:34:48
Speaker
Oh, but it was it all right, yeah. You have all the weeds you want, but you got lung cancer with it. Yeah, that's it. You instantly get lung cancer and die. Fuck.
01:35:02
Speaker
You're so stoned you can't find a lighter. Then it then it becomes so a bit of an argument. can Could I make a wish like that you can't hurt me more than I could hurt myself?
01:35:18
Speaker
Can you make you possiblyly punch yourself in the face no matter the carry law ah can you make a wish where the caveat wouldn't be detrimental to your life? health. Is what saying? your health thing not nothing even even pleasure is detrimental to your health you' know what to mean too much like for yourself buddy but yeah so yourrow or not in my world the the the the example that i thought of was okay i am the only person left on earth right okay sounds like you're instantly lonely
01:36:00
Speaker
Okay, okay here's here's here's a caveat for that. it' not even a can actually melt into the wish You're perpetually horny for every waking moment.
01:36:13
Speaker
Well, with be for pitch being perpetually horny isn't death, but if I said that there was... yeah You're all alone by yourself. You have everything you need to survive.
01:36:26
Speaker
There are no dangers left. You have cancer. And there's only one gun. and you got a week to live. they are randomly hidden on the entire earth.
01:36:40
Speaker
ah the Every time you take a step, one of those guns goes off and shoots you. The caveat is it's it's water world and you can't swim. caveat, every single one of those guns have all the firing pins removed and they disappear. Yeah.
01:36:56
Speaker
okay I'm going to be honest. It is fun thinking of these caveats. what is i saw this Even if what you guys just said is like, I will never find the gun and I will never find the bullet.
01:37:10
Speaker
um that that That doesn't deceive me from oh living a life on the water. like i'm gonna i'm I'm going one or the other. You have thoughts on I watched that movie Waterworld and it's like, and even if I don't want anybody, I can still piss and a piss into a a cloth towel and drink water.
01:37:39
Speaker
You I'm saying? I don't know if you can do that. don't know you can Live your dreams. You can drink your own ear and it's sterile.
01:37:57
Speaker
But I don't know how long you can it. You got that from Dodgeball because it's sterile. I like the taste. No. ah What was that movie with Seth Rogen and James Franco? I have not fact-checked if it's the end. The darker, the richer flavor it is. It's You can survive on your own yarn. However, i don't know for how long. weve That's my question.
01:38:22
Speaker
i don't think he i mean i just I look at it like this. It's like waste your body's getting rid of. because That's exactly what it is. Why would you drink it? You're really going to put your... Okay, you're starving, Jeff.
01:38:34
Speaker
You're starving, Jeff. Would you eat your own shit? Exactly. Right? Right, Jedi? It's the exact same logic. I'm not saying I would do it. I'm just saying. Well, I mean, if if I actually got to eat something, ah maybe there's something in that shit that can be recycled.
01:38:52
Speaker
However... I was just going to say a piece corn that he didn't chew up properly. Ooh, a corn! Ooh, a peanut! This is right kind of coffee. No, but it's one of those things. It's like, if i'm the only human and I have no humans to compete against that that doesn't bar me from fishing does it no but it doesn't bar you from a lonely existence either yeah like you've added that caveat to yourself not even you know what I mean like okay oh ah here's something interesting
01:39:33
Speaker
So I'm going drink my own filtered piss, but I get to eat fish. So ah go fuck yourself. I don't know what to tell you. As long I can make it.
01:39:47
Speaker
Oh, boys, I just found the coolest website. Can a person survive? Yeah, we already know about Pornhub. Don't even bother. No, no, no. This is called this is called Backpack.
01:39:58
Speaker
And it says, can you survive on your own? Yeah, go ahead. Here's a question yeah because this randomly popped up in Google search before I finished typing the word urine that says, can a human survive off breast milk?
01:40:09
Speaker
I saw that too. Wait, what were you Googling? No, because I kind saw the same thing pop up. Oh, shit. Because I was typing in. how can i was actually using my talk text.
01:40:21
Speaker
Why is that the first thing they're like, hey, everybody wants to know about that? And it literally was like breast milk. was like, you know what? I'm not mad at that. I'm more curious about that. You have to get a date, folks. Well, that's that's like asking, can you survive without sexual assault?
01:40:38
Speaker
You know what I'm saying? So this website says, can you really survive by drinking your own pee? Tempted to go full Bear Grylls, we set the record straight with pros and cons, mostly cons, of drinking your own urine.
01:40:56
Speaker
This is called backpack. Is this the pros? I'm more curious about the pros. That's what I'm trying to find. I don't I don't. ah It's a just an article. OK, so I think I think you use rules of three. A person can survive roughly three minutes without air, three hours without your shelter and and in in bad weather.
01:41:18
Speaker
Three days without water and three weeks without food. If you're generally trapped somewhere far from a creek in a pond, securely, it's literally a high no I'm trying to find where it says.
01:41:29
Speaker
After two days, your thirst might be strong enough for you to be even stronger than your gag reflex. You can drink your own pee.
01:41:40
Speaker
Should you drink your own pee is the question, and the answer is no.
01:41:46
Speaker
You won't get any diseases, but it will it will basically dehydrate you is what it's saying. Then you can kind of ask a question. um Even if you could drink dirty water, talking about urine, right can and you survive without fire?
01:42:04
Speaker
Because that's how you, um with chemistry, could cleanse liquids into water. So,
01:42:15
Speaker
if if you don't have fire, then you're going to eat raw food. You're going to eat raw vegetation. ah fire Fire makes things work. ah agree so Have you guys ever heard of Kiliguan?
01:42:30
Speaker
Chicken Kiliguan? it's It's popular over in the Philippines and Micronesia and shit. It's where they take raw chicken and they cut it up. you know It's usually in strips or whatnot. They usually mix it in salad or whatnot, but Or on ah on a thing of lettuce. but Anyway, they chop the chicken and then they soak the chicken in lemon juice. And lemon juice cooks the chicken.
01:42:51
Speaker
It makes it safe to eat. Right. Yeah, so you don't necessarily need fire. Fire helps. It's like hillbilly sushi. Well, there's something we said there too, and that is um the quickness in which you do things.
01:43:10
Speaker
So holding. And yeah, you can't eat. Holding periods um would yeah contradict it like like you can't preserve chicken or beef or any and fish, anything just by squirting some lemon juice on it and save it for hours later.
01:43:31
Speaker
ah if If you don't eat it right now, yeah't give the bacteria time to grow. Right. Well, that's what the lemon juice does. It it it it kills. well That's the whole point. They make ceviche here.
01:43:45
Speaker
Ceviche, it's raw fucking fish, but it's completely coated in lime. Yeah, and same thing. it It's fucking I fucking hate fish.
01:43:57
Speaker
yeah but yeah i'm i'm hate might I'm not a fan of killing it. in-laws love it, and I'm like, I'm out. i'm out I'm not a fan of killing it. I'm just dont good this by saying... You can survive 40 days or maybe even indefinitely.
01:44:11
Speaker
I just think our idea of how to survive is sort of limited to by what we know about. Does that make sense? Right. well Then the you come into the ideas of ah what what smoking is.
01:44:26
Speaker
ah So that's, you know, with fire, you can just ah smoke something slowly, but you have to do it very quickly oh upon upon exposure.
01:44:43
Speaker
So that way you because jerky. um Let's try it out. It's protected from the exterior. ah You can carry jerky with you forever.
01:44:55
Speaker
oh Damn near. well and then guys ever go wait and the kids all What's Pemmican? Pemmican is something like the our our Revolution Days ah people. it was Actually, I guess they discovered it. Native Americans would make it.
Traditional Foods & MMA Training
01:45:10
Speaker
But it was just like this block of stuff they would make. I think there was some meat. It was ground up meat, ground up bunch of stuff. But it was packed in like little edible bars. And you would take it with you. And they were...
01:45:21
Speaker
and they were um they They just lasted a long time. And you can actually take the pemmican, break it off, like add it to some water, make it like a little broth with it or whatever.
01:45:33
Speaker
yeah it was just about calorie intake. because that's ah That's the thing with with survival. is is that so much You want to make sure you're not eating anything that's going to kill you because poison bacteria. blah blah blah blah It's about calories.
01:45:46
Speaker
your the more calories The more calories, the better. um Well, and and like salting things. Not that salt is always easy.
01:45:57
Speaker
Back in the day, there's there's a there's a house in New York and it went viral not too long ago on like Facebook or something like that. And they they it was a room in this guy's New York house.
01:46:10
Speaker
You know, city of New York. And he was like, I have this weird room in my house. And somebody commented, that's that house is old enough. Before refrigerators, that was the meat locker.
01:46:24
Speaker
And they would hang it in the house. to pemmican is a high energy food made of dried meat fat and sometimes berries invented by indigenous peoples in north america um but yeah so yeah it's there' actually something something i it's something kind of want to make just to see if i can make it and see what it tastes like there's different there's different versions there's fruit versions it's just it's like Back in the day, man, like when you like when you went hunting, you didn't just, it wasn't going to the grocery store, I'll be back in an hour. It was like, hey, I'm going to go hunt. I'll be back maybe next week. Hopefully I catch something, yeah. You know? Well, then the fur trappers and all that stuff. I always thought it'd be fun to be a fur trapper back in the day.
01:47:08
Speaker
Beaver pelts. Yeah. I never understood the concept of why beaver was so expensive. I mean, it's expensive now, but that's because she costs money. good It was beaver pelts.
01:47:27
Speaker
I'll give you props. i You get your flowers on that one, Jeff. Thank you. thank you i try ah I'm buying her a house. She can shut the fuck up and take it. You know what I'm saying? right What's up, Shaka?
01:47:40
Speaker
Shaka, you at work, man? If you're not at work, you got time. Link's in the and the chat right above you. Yeah. No, it's one of those things. It's like, oh I remember, I think it was in like sixth grade, they did a like pioneer week week at school.
01:47:58
Speaker
And we spent the entire week acting like we were fucking pioneer days. like Instead of paper, we'd use a little chalkboard. But what was really cool was- just played Oregon Trail. No, no, no. I don't have Oregon Trail.
01:48:11
Speaker
But what was really cool is at the end of the week, we had they made a whole bunch of food that was similar to what it was back in the day. and We got to try something. Why do you need pants on?
01:48:23
Speaker
It's like you're just showing your face. I'm not wearing pants. None of us are wearing pants. hi jack yeah You're going to be the odd man out if you show up with pants. This is a pants to the stream, homie. Yeah.
01:48:35
Speaker
and Fucking weird. I better hide my valentina. Hashtag no pants. ah Fuck that. I'm wearing a bear suit because I'm sitting in my garage and it's 45 degrees and I don't like to be cold, but I do love to hang out with y'all.
01:48:51
Speaker
It's only 78 degrees in Cancun. I hate to be the bear. but I worn pants in a month. I think it's like 50. it's like It's fucking pouring out rain right now.
01:49:01
Speaker
i wear I can't wear long pants, dude. I have to wear shorts. 50 degrees. It's too fucking It's 20 degrees around, man. And that's going to be warm. Next week, it's this upcoming week, it's going to be a negative 20. It's going to fucking I think the coldest it's ever been in Cancun since I've got here was like 56.
01:49:18
Speaker
fifty six And I had my air conditioner on because I was still sweating. Wow. You know what? I'm glad you have herpes and no superpowers, Jeff.
01:49:29
Speaker
It's not always what it's cracked up to be during fucking August. I bet it's i bet's bad, yeah. You've got to walk with a knife in front of you and cut the humidity.
01:49:42
Speaker
Because it's... you know Being this close to the ocean, it's like... The minute you step outside, you're just already drenched just from the humidity. It's like walking into the pool. Yeah, you need gills. Even today, i went over...
01:49:53
Speaker
like I took the kids over the mall. did, you know, play at the bar game. But just getting old gift getting out of the fucking house, I was like, ah why am I on the sun? This is bullshit.
01:50:06
Speaker
It's fucking February. It's fucking hot as balls out. Yeah, i don't like those things either. august August, I do everything can not to leave the house.
01:50:17
Speaker
Thanks, man.
01:50:20
Speaker
And if I can figure out how to put an air conditioner in the in my office, I will. The problem is my office is the center of the house. It has no exterior wall. but what's What's wrong with the heat for you?
01:50:34
Speaker
it's It's not the heat. It's the humidity. it's like sitting like It's like sitting in the pool, but the pool is fucking hotter than bathtub. Yeah, it's like a sauna type shit. Yeah, it's like being in the sauna all day long.
01:50:46
Speaker
Like, if I went outside and just going to my gate, which is maybe 100 yards, I come back and it looks like I just got out of the pool. Yeah, like when um like when you got a job and they expect you to put the...
01:51:02
Speaker
it sure and as soon as you get out of shower and you're ready to get dressed even within your own house um you put it on and there's there's there's wet spots everywhere it's like trust me i i know humidity and uh humidity in guam was always off the charts and before before i went to Guam, this was like in 06, I had this thing about me that flip flops were the dumbest footwear ever made. If you wear flip flops, you deserve to get slapped by them.
01:51:39
Speaker
you yeah station And then I got stationed in Guam and I'm walking around in tennis shoes and ankle socks and my feet every fucking day for the first couple months was sweaty and fungus and nasty. I'm like, oh, gross.
01:51:54
Speaker
And then I and i started to notice everybody just wears flip flops. So I I went bought my very first pair of flip-flops and I haven't looked back since. I don't wear flip-flops. I can't do it. I don't like flip-flops either. I hate them. of like I can for like a buck.
01:52:10
Speaker
But God forbid they get a drop of water on you're fucking going to twist your ankle because your feet are going to slip. So I have... And I always end up flipping in some fucking puddle.
01:52:22
Speaker
So I have different types of flip-flops. I have flip-flops that I wear to water areas that ridges on it so it don't slip. Where fucking Birkenstocks, you prick. I don't have Birkenstocks. I don't have Birkenstocks. I do have Hey Dudes. I love my Hey Dudes. Hey Dudes are fucking awesome. I love Hey Dudes. fucking love my ha i fucking wear tennis shoes 24-7.
01:52:40
Speaker
twenty four seven Hey I would step up for tennis shoes the other day. Don't blame the flip flops. Blame your ankles. I don't go up.
01:52:52
Speaker
You got weak ankles, Jeff? No, it it literally comes down to... like i So, what was it? um It was like three months ago.
01:53:02
Speaker
I have a pair of sandals that I wear. they're They're slide-ons. you know and From when I get out of the shower to walk across into the bedroom so I can get dressed. you know this Are they thongs? No, they're slides.
01:53:13
Speaker
um they dongs or no know They're
01:53:17
Speaker
yeah and Just getting out of the shower. I damn near broke my neck because they're slippery. Damn, you almost went out as Bob Saget. Oh, shit. Ouch, dude.
01:53:29
Speaker
ouch du Too soon? It's too soon. When did Saga die? It's one of those things like... He fell in the bathroom, didn't he? Didn't he die when he fell in the bathroom because he slipped?
01:53:43
Speaker
Well, that's the thing. He fucked up his head and then he went to bed and died like asleep from brain bleeding. He pretty much fell in the bathroom is what happened. always afraid of that.
01:53:55
Speaker
I'm afraid of, you know. Yeah, if you ever if you ever get a head injury, you're not supposed to go to sleep. Oh, no. like know yeah you're supposed to You're supposed to stay awake and go get get medical treatment. If you hit your head hard enough because you could not wake up. Yeah, you don't even know if you have brain swelling or bleeding or anything. You don't know because you don't even have any fucking.
01:54:13
Speaker
i would show no symptoms. You can hurt the outside. either you bobs side Your brain has damage. No, but like I can get hit with a brick and not show symptoms. because It might actually improve you.
01:54:25
Speaker
Right? Hey, I got smarter. This is awesome.
01:54:31
Speaker
But yeah, it's one of those things. It's like, i even like, the what is it? Like couple months ago, I got out of bed and then you know and I was like, I don't feel like I'm to put my fucking tennis shoes on. I'm just going to go to the store with my fucking slides on.
01:54:45
Speaker
And of course, i don't get four fucking yards from the house. I step in a puddle. So the whole time... one foot sliding all over. This is ridiculous. I just need a fucking pack of cigarettes.
01:55:00
Speaker
Or I'll get caught in the fucking rain and dare you can't run because you know your feet just slide. fucking ridiculous. Yeah, I don't like slides. That's why i like the flip-flops because it has that thing that goes in between your toes that stops them. I hate that. I feel like my feet have a wedgie when I wear that. oh ah and their uncom it does At first, it does. right So when I first started wearing flip-flops, it did take me a little bit to used to it but once I did, I was like, I'm in it for life now.
01:55:27
Speaker
Not doing it. i i wear I got a pair of Jordans that I wear every fucking day. and what did they When they fucking die, I go buy another pair. It's something to be said. There was a connection between you and your equipment.
01:55:42
Speaker
And if you want to blame the equipment for your failure to connect with it. He's still stuck on that.
01:55:52
Speaker
Slides are a whole fucking weird animal, dude. i she more equipment yeah quick That's That's your equipment, motherfucker. You know it.
01:56:03
Speaker
We know it. Well, that's why I don't buy that equipment anymore. but I'm afraid slides will fall off as I'm going down the stairs and I go down the stairs the hard way. you know i see these lot liers We go to Mexico City to go to like Six Flags and shit, which is a real contradiction in terms.
01:56:19
Speaker
Because, you know, It's Mexico. don't want to get on fucking ride. Yeah, whatever. That's a good point, Shaka. That's very, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. But I see people getting on roller coasters with slides on. I'm like, aren't you afraid lose your fucking shoe?
01:56:40
Speaker
Hell no. I'm definitely afraid of losing a shoe or something on a ride.
01:56:48
Speaker
And I love a roller coaster ride. God, I haven't been on a good roller coaster in a long time. fucking hate roller coasters. and most got it They got a roller coaster at 60 Max in Texas City called Superman. this yes if If you're doing things right and you're going on a roller coaster and let's just say you have people ah with you ah and you're wearing flippy floppies.
01:57:13
Speaker
You're an idiot. What, dude? flip One, if you're going on an adventure like that, you better have some extra pockets. And you better stuff your flippy floppies and ride that rollercoaster barefoot and put your flippy floppies where they can be.
01:57:30
Speaker
i don't know. Wear fucking tennis shoes like a few. So, okay. Okay. you so on the track little bit if you If you open up my car right now, you'll see three pairs of shoes in there. You'll see my my chucks that I wear if I'm going to the store.
01:57:42
Speaker
I have my keen sandals. yeah i have I have my Keen sandals that I wear if I'm going to go on a hike or if I'm going somewhere where i don't want to wear hot shoes, but I need some air or some more protection.
01:57:56
Speaker
I don't know if you guys know what Keen sandals are, but they have like this toe protection, dude. They're amazing. They're amazing. to yeah steel toe sandals. um They're almost like that.
01:58:08
Speaker
I don't have an in here with me. I need to see this shit. I know. we does not big Yeah, I will. Did you see the guy?
01:58:19
Speaker
There's a guy on TikTok. Kings are a million. You don't believe you'll know what kings are. I'm so sad. it's so You're just fucking fancy. You're talking about Kate? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:58:33
Speaker
I know that. I'm just seeing this okay. Okay, okay, okay. Yeah, they've got the ankle strap. Now, see, I would wear those because you can't... you Wait, what the hell is... Let me see this shit.
01:58:48
Speaker
Okay, so you see how it has the protection over your toes? They're like slightly less gay Crocs. exactly Yeah, yeah. but these They look like a pair of tennis shoes that got caught in a shredder.
01:58:59
Speaker
it in invest These things are so fucking durable, dude. I've had mine for years I beat the shit out of just walk creeks with them and all that shit. And I have a pair, like, Keane makes a lot of boots or a lot of shoes. got pair of utility boots.
01:59:13
Speaker
Yes, I have a pair of chucks. They're leather chucks, too. and they're it's they' I like chucks. I have nothing wrong with them. I'm a shoe guy. I got lots of shoes.
01:59:25
Speaker
Hey, when it comes to shoes, I'll tell you straight up. um My job bought me pair of DC ah protective toe shoes, and the ratings were bad, bad, bad, because they were new.
01:59:43
Speaker
And I don't know if you've ever worn, like, skater shoes before or anything like that. I used to um like these wear those. DC, Etnies, and Vans. That's all I wore in high school.
01:59:57
Speaker
Yeah, so um ah they got bad reviews. They were like, oh, the soles are so hard. I'm on my feet all the time. and it was like, if you want that cushy, cushy feet, go find a pair of shoes that's going to wear out very soon.
02:00:18
Speaker
But if if something that is like it, like the the insides, like I got I have a high to slash normal arch naturally and I maintain it naturally.
02:00:32
Speaker
But to think that these shoes are horrible, it's like, go fuck yourself. Not only do they look good, but. But, hey, I could walk barefoot just as well, except now I have a protective toe. So go fuck yourself. You know what I'm saying? my dad My dad, you know, my dad was in the trades all his life.
02:00:57
Speaker
And he buy he only buys one pair of shoes. that's the only you he buys You know, he's got a pair of like Nikes or whatever. Yeah, those those are cool. He's got a pair of Nikes that he just kind of wears like mow the grass and shit like that.
02:01:08
Speaker
But this dude literally, if he's going out to do work, he wears a pair of leather Red Wing boots. They're $400 a pair, but they will last you like nine years. Yep.
02:01:20
Speaker
Yep. and you And you can, boots like that, you can take and get resold, retreaded, I should probably say. Yeah, those things last forever, dude. When you buy boots, at yeah. Yeah.
02:01:31
Speaker
And they're comfy as fuck once you get them broke in. Skechers are the worst. I don't like Skechers. I don't think I've ever owned a pair. i remember I remember watching a video. of You guys were probably talking about Chucks.
02:01:54
Speaker
And they said you know certain operators... bring chucks with them on ah recovery missions. yeah Not because they need the chucks, but because they're about to pick up somebody that is potentially barefoot and ah yada, yada, yada.
02:02:15
Speaker
And they need something on their feet and and and they're goingnna and and you can fold the chuck into nothing. Yep. Well, see, like my wife, we have a weird thing We buy Air Force Ones like you read about.
02:02:31
Speaker
I think there's like 47 pairs upstairs. Oh, shit. And they're different colors. each one like She's got ones that are black and red. She's got ones that are yellow and white. Teal and white. They look like the Tiffany's ones, except they're white instead of black.
02:02:46
Speaker
She's got green and white. She's just got every fucking color. And, you know, they're like $150 a pop. but My wife does that with shoes, too. Same fucking pair, just different colors. like I just buy white fucking Air Force Ones.
02:02:59
Speaker
Those keen sandals can be like $100, man. I don't doubt it. for yeah I'm telling you, man, they're like quality fucking sandals, dude.
02:03:10
Speaker
the The Sandlock? ah yeah the yeah The PF fliers there's Flyers? I want a pair. I want a pair. they're They're basically Chucks, but with a different logo. yeah that the why I used to wear old school Chucks.
02:03:31
Speaker
Those old school Chucks, but those hurt my feet now, so I have to like buy the pair with like the soft insoles and their thicker soles. and they're just I always buy ah ah size bigger And then I get like the that regular chucks or something.
02:03:47
Speaker
And then I get the Dr. Insoles gel. Okay. now ya It's heavy. Because like i have I have a weird spot on my foot that sticks out weird.
02:03:58
Speaker
Only on one foot. ho it's he's He's got a club foot. It's right here. no it's right here You can actually see my... let's see like It out. a little toe problem. I wear a size 6.
02:04:12
Speaker
Chip, you got a little toe problem. well i i have wear i wear i so eight chip yeah you you youve got a little to you' got a little tool problem No, it's not my little toe. it's It's the side of my foot. it's It's ah like, what what would be right here?
02:04:33
Speaker
like Yeah, you've got a little toe problem. Yeah, ill cut the fucker off. and you got part of your foot that's trying to secede from the rest of your body. Yeah, pretty much. fucking twenty its it its It's more of a milder. It takes me like three weeks to break in a pair of shoes to where they fit my foot comfortably.
02:04:52
Speaker
The first three weeks, though, is like hell. but well I can say that i've I've spent so much of my life barefoot to have anything ah on on my foot.
02:05:06
Speaker
It's like, okay, ah this is a benefit. but and let's Let's exploit it. You know what I mean? I've had some tennis shoes and my bust out point is the same at yours.
02:05:22
Speaker
It's around that um that little toe-ankle point. yeah It blows out. I agree. But it's one of those things, like, after after, like... I'm not scared of being barefoot, either.
02:05:36
Speaker
Oh, I won't go barefoot. Ever. Like, if I could wear shoes in the fucking shower, I would. I have plantar fasciitis in my heel, so I really don't like being barefoot no more.
02:05:48
Speaker
i my kids I can't keep shoes on my kids. Like the second they get in the house, their shoes come on. What what are you doing? Fucking tile floor. like We don't care. Whatever. i From the second I get up in the morning, first thing I can do is put my fucking shoes on, even before I go to the bathroom.
02:06:04
Speaker
That's so different. Because i will not step on a Lego to save my life. Oh, fuck. That hurts like a motherfucker. Right? Yeah, I don't care if it's three o'clock in the morning. If I step on a Lego, everybody in the house and neighborhood is going to fucking know it.
02:06:17
Speaker
I have so many Legos in my house. Literally, if we got evicted, I could just build my own house out of Legos. It's ridiculous. There's there's a ah TV series called James May's Toy Box.
02:06:31
Speaker
And there he is. One of the episodes, he actually built a house out of Lego.
02:06:44
Speaker
It was two stories high. Holy shit. It was really fucking cool. They would build the size of a center block of all one color.
02:06:57
Speaker
and he He got really mad at whoever was helping out because in one of the white blocks, they put one red was one. he's like If you got OCD, it will drive you crazy. Whoa.
02:07:12
Speaker
I made a Jeff meme. I like the taco. yeah a' spaghetti It looked like a taco. I going to say, I will eat the taco.
02:07:24
Speaker
Spaghetti.
02:07:27
Speaker
Oh, my. What's up, Chaka? Hey, what's up, fellas? Haven't seen you in a while. Yeah, I've been working nights, dude. So I like i literally woke up at 530. I didn't go to bed until noon. I've just been working 18-hour days. Jesus.
02:07:44
Speaker
yeah yeah I was up until like six o'clock last night. We got done with the show last night. I was just like, I literally went and got an energy drink before the show and we finished the show and I like, son of bitch, I got fucking energy drink. I'm going to drink it.
02:08:01
Speaker
Yeah, my wife's out getting me some C4s right now. was like, oh man, I'm surviving off those things right now.
02:08:10
Speaker
so Yeah, I go to bed. I go to work at 10 at night and then I get off at six and I usually work some overtime, get off about noon. And I'm like, well, I got to go sleep a little bit.
02:08:21
Speaker
ah um How many days do you do that? I try to not do it more than two. I usually work 10 to six is my normal hours, but, um, my son's got a fight coming up March 15th. So whenever I got something coming up, I'll bust out some overtime to get little extra. Cause I want to sponsor them and, uh,
02:08:40
Speaker
This is the second fight, dude. so Wait, when does it try to fight? What kind of fight? He does MMA. He's 19. He had his first fight a couple months ago and he knocked the dude out his first fight.
02:08:55
Speaker
This fight, he's fighting a dude who's a little bit more experienced and he's an boxer so he's got his work put out for him. but If he wins this fight, he actually gets a title fight and but and he'll have a chance to belt. Third fight.
02:09:10
Speaker
Third fight? yeah I want to see this second one. His first one was a fucking... He just crushed it. Yeah, so I'm out selling his tickets.
02:09:20
Speaker
the The people that who are promoting him, dude, he's everywhere here. He's everywhere. He's got a really good... His ah his fight club is really promoting him. And he's he's at all the like vitamin shops.
02:09:31
Speaker
um he's He's getting interviewed at the local hockey games at halftime. And they're putting him on the news. He's been interviewed. He's in commercials. I'm like, damn. He's like a little local celebrity.
02:09:43
Speaker
As a dad, you have to constantly... Humble the kid. Like, you gotta be part of relentlessly. Because he's gonna end up like, fucking click. ah In other words, if they knock him out, they knock him out. He's so confident. I'm constantly trying to humble him. He's like, Dad, I'm not confident. He comes home and he's like, what's for dinner? You're like, bitch, that's what's for dinner. like he told me He told me he's like he's not like confident. He's like, just know I'm going to win.
02:10:13
Speaker
I'm like, okay, I'm not going to change your mindset because this is fighting. yeah got It's one-on-one, so he has that mindset. But he is very confident. But I'm like, Handle business, dude. Handle business. They worked for me before. thank so Link is in the chat if you guys want to pop up.
02:10:27
Speaker
Thank you. win wins car and pay Then you walk up and you just sock him right in a fucking nose. Like, you're not as badass as you think you are.
02:10:39
Speaker
oh When it comes to stuff like that, it's like, win, lose, or draw, you showed up if you so As a parent, you can be there to congratulate them you can be there to console them ah but ultimately it is their emotions that that you have to deal with uh on the outcome of the fight so um congratulations so on you uh as a father who you know has uh somebody out there in the game yeah now i'm cool karma collected
02:11:17
Speaker
Every situation i'm in, even when it comes to like fights and stuff like that. But watching my kid fight, I get on that. um I'm um on the cage losing my shit. but The last time I almost got in a fight with the other coach, I just um ah i just lose my shit, man.
02:11:32
Speaker
You know, Chaka, be the last time you were here in between then and now, okay if i if I saw it correctly, did your daughter get engaged? No, that was my son. my my my ah i have I have four kids. I got my oldest daughter. She's in in the Navy.
02:11:49
Speaker
And then my old my my oldest son, who just he just walked he just walked in right now. he he got engaged. My 21-year-old is the fighter. And then I got my 13-year-old, who's just a genius. Fuck your old.
02:12:01
Speaker
You need a TV. 43, bro. Good God. 43.
02:12:04
Speaker
good winter I started late, apparently. Although my kid was at 18. Right out of high school, I was like, you know what? I'm bored. Let's go have a bunch of stuff. I'm going to start knocking chicks up. You know what?
02:12:23
Speaker
I have kids that I know of. It was like, oh, kids are expensive. I can get a good job. shit Now I'm working on my life. Yeah. yeah No, well, congratulations to the son that got engaged.
02:12:35
Speaker
i might The reason why I asked is I saw the the engagement thing. I was very impressed, by the way. Hey, that was in my backyard and that was all him. he did all the decorating and he just got his own apartment. Him and her just got a new apartment and it's fucking awesome.
02:12:49
Speaker
He's got his almost own little space. He just set up his ah his computer room it looks just like mine. i was like, hey, that's pretty cool. So it's cool to see how much we influence them, especially when they out on their own.
02:13:01
Speaker
Like same taste. i was like, dude, this is like my fault. Far from the tree sometimes, you know? yeah Well, the reason why I brought it up is because I was like, if it would have been your daughter, I would i wanted to ask you how you reacted to the boy asking the daughter.
02:13:15
Speaker
Because I've already told my daughter, who is my my oldest. she's I think she's 19. And I said, the first time I meet one of these boyfriends, I'm going to tell them the same thing.
02:13:27
Speaker
I have a bullet. And if you're she's not home by 11, he moves really fast. Yeah. um So my daughter, my daughter, it's any time for her to get engaged.
02:13:39
Speaker
I haven't, I'm going to meet this dude May 5th in Vegas for the first time. um I act like I don't like the guy. I got have to, but he's actually a really good guy. think it's going to be one of those, it's going one of those things where I'm dick for the first hour, but then it's just going be me and him in Vegas. And I'm going to be like, we're not just cleaning my gun thing when they come over. Just like what?
02:14:01
Speaker
yeah what I'm going hunting. I'm so glad I don't have that. At 11 o'clock. If she's not home 1150, I'm in the car by 11.
02:14:10
Speaker
i'm in the car by eleven and When she was younger, I did the whole, ah you know, acted out the bad boys. Her first day her first ah prom dance that came and picked her up, I had my shotgun and everything, trying to act like a badass. and then check yes Oh, yeah.
02:14:25
Speaker
Yeah. And then he came in, and and I'm trying to act tough, but I ended up liking the kid because he hand-painted a painting for my daughter. She likes Chucky, like child's play. Hand-painted it. I was like, what? I go, that's cool. Where'd you get that? Where'd you buy that from?
02:14:38
Speaker
He's like, oh, I painted it. And I'm thinking, oh. Fuck. And then I look out, he's got it he's got one of those Dodge, ah he had a Dodge ah Charger, or no, he had a he had a Charger.
02:14:49
Speaker
And I looked at his car, i was like, oh, what'd you do, rent a car? He's like, no, I bought that, that's mine. I'm thinking, this motherfucker, that's the car I wanted. So I'm a little jealous. He's all, you know I'm a mechanic. And I'm like, oh, man, I'm like this kid, he's doing everything right. and So before they ended up leaving, I ended telling my daughter, hey, don't mess this up. I like this one. Don't mess this This is a lie. I'm like, I like, I'm always just like, fuck you. Every time I meet one, I'm like, fuck. It's my sons who, except for my oldest, who's engaged, my other, the fighter, man, he's got like,
02:15:31
Speaker
He's like he he like the Baskin Robbins of women. He's a different chick. He's doing it right, though, I guess. He's young. He told me the other day, like, Dad, I think I got it.
02:15:43
Speaker
He's all, Dad, I think I'm talking to every race. i was like, cool. but thank good for you I've been around the world three times without leaving this town. What's up, James? I'm just saying, I've been around the world three times without leaving this town.
02:15:54
Speaker
what so but I told him, I said, hey, diversify your portfolio. That's the only thing can tell you. Warren Buffett, that shit.
02:16:04
Speaker
No, i it's one of those things. It's like, I don't, I can't be friends with my daughter's boyfriend. and I can't. I ins instantly want to kill him.
02:16:16
Speaker
It was a hurdle. I pull a full clueless every time.
Parenting & Children's Activities
02:16:20
Speaker
I have a.45 and a shovel. No one's going to miss you. so After my daughter started dating boys, then my blood pressure now i'm on blood pressure medication. its i'm ah um um I'm fucking all crazy and shit. I was like, dude, you changed my life. yeah
02:16:37
Speaker
Boys, you know the only thing you have to worry about with boys is like, God, I hope he doesn't get that bitch pregnant. Oh, yeah. Look at her. Just don't get that bitch pregnant. I don't want her around. So that's the big thing right now that what we're talking about.
02:16:50
Speaker
Yeah, we're like, who's the first to have a kid? We're hoping it's my oldest, my daughter, but yeah well or or my son who who's engaged, one of them, two. We're hoping it's not one of our two youngers that have the kid first. My my parents, my mom and her or brothers and sisters all had bed.
02:17:09
Speaker
on whose kid would get somebody pregnant first. And my aunt, who is holier than thou, was like, my daughter will never get pregnant out of wedlock. That bitch was pregnant by 19.
02:17:21
Speaker
and i And everybody, and there the money was on me because if it moved, i was like, it was up. good You got a pretty little dog there. you know but It didn't matter. I was like, I'm in. you know And I didn't, my my first daughter, I had 19 years ago.
02:17:40
Speaker
And, you know, I was well into my 20s. And and it I think I am the third of my cousins to actually have a kid.
02:17:57
Speaker
So everybody lost money and they were all pissed. My uncle's, he's still like, dude, you know, you cost me like a thousand bucks. I'm like, sucks me. Yeah. what part Harley Dad said play the clip Chaka Which one are you talking about Harley Dad the one I'm a kid proposing Or ah the one I'm a kid fighting Yeah if you got that clip Oh yeah I'd love to see the fight You to see the fight When is that fight and And where can I watch it It's March 15th And I'm i'm probably going to live stream it But I think it's on YouTube Because this promotional did a ah live stream on YouTube last time So I think it's the same thing you So I'll send everybody the link
02:18:36
Speaker
Please, because... You want me to pull up his last fight? Sure. Okay, I'll pull up. I know nothing about and MMA, except for it looks fucking dope.
02:18:49
Speaker
I won't watch it or anything, but Blaze has got a weird look on his face as this person. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I paused my camera. I assumed.
02:19:00
Speaker
He's got one of them fancy cameras, because he's... Yeah, I go through... my camera goes... Excuse me. I got my Canon hooked up, so it goes through my Canon EOS, which goes through my Vcam, which then goes through StreamYard.
02:19:15
Speaker
so You're so fucking fancy. Well, that way I can do it. I can have a background in shit. Don't lie. You're playing fucking video games, you dick. I was fucking around with this other shit where it was a live avatar.
02:19:31
Speaker
like It's an avatar as I'm live streaming. But it takes up a lot of processor speed. And then you noticed yesterday I had didn't realize, but I have a voice changer, a voice mod.
02:19:41
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, nice. I just downloaded a voice mod. So this is the, do want to play it? You might have to mute it though.
02:19:52
Speaker
Okay, this is the guy that my kid's fighting. um he They called him the Bruce Lee of m MMA. He was already on a second fight. The dude's like a submission artist. So he he was the favorite.
02:20:04
Speaker
And then my son comes out after. And you can kind of hear the announcers or talk because they don't know him. they're They're kind of talking a little bit bad. We don't know him. And he looks like he's going to gas out. And the whole time I'm talking shit to announcer. You can see me in the background.
02:20:17
Speaker
You don't know him. You don't know him. But anyways, this is the fight.
02:20:24
Speaker
zero ah Carlos Garcia. but
02:20:28
Speaker
so Oh, now my internet's lagging. Give it a minute. Give it a minute. The AOL's charging up. Gotta get that hamster rocking, man. Is somebody using the landline chocolate? You gotta get them off that so you can reconnect.
02:20:47
Speaker
That party line shit. Oh, there it goes. There it goes. we that As soon as you bring it up, as soon as you drop it down, it
02:21:04
Speaker
you go. Thank you. Let me mute it because he's playing living in. Let me share it a different way because it's lot. Oh, there it goes. No, it's fine. I was going to say, if you drop the link, I can pull it up.
02:21:16
Speaker
Okay, let mean let me drop the link. It'd be better. Shoot me the link on WhatsApp and i' i'll ah I'll pull it up. my internet My internet's slow as fuck right now. ah Lately, my streamer's been acting up every time I share something ah through the whole window. It just lags. I don't know what's with it.
02:21:32
Speaker
Yeah, shoot me the nonsensical network WhatsApp and I can ah got you save it and throw it up or whatever.
02:21:43
Speaker
know noticed about that WhatsApp is every time something's shared, it automatically saves to my phone. Yeah. You can turn that off. think change that. You can change that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:21:54
Speaker
Because I had some pictures in there. i was like, what is it? Like the one you just sent? was like, what is It's in my phone already. Of the spaghetti. There's nothing wrong with a bucket of spaghetti. I'm just saying.
02:22:09
Speaker
And then the the pictures get uploaded to to mine and my wife share like a photo album. And she's like, what is this? I don't know. I go, I think that's Jeff. She's like, who's Jeff? i was like, the Non-Syncele Network, guys.
02:22:22
Speaker
Jeff really likes spaghetti. Don't worry about it.
02:22:26
Speaker
I muted it, so. You got to put it on on full screen. Full screen. yeah That bad boy. Yeah. So this guy is the is a favorite. That's ah Carlos Gonzalez, I think.
02:22:39
Speaker
Once the fight starts, then you they don't play no more music. Then you'll be able to hear the announcement. Oh, I just wanted us to be able to talk interview. Oh.
02:22:49
Speaker
You can maybe fast forward a little bit because it takes a while for him to get in the ring.
02:22:57
Speaker
And then that's my son coming out. There he is. The Beast. The Beast. he's so He's so cocky when he gets in the ring. yet he he gets ah He just he won't he just like can't sit still, and he's just ready to go. He he's he doesn't shake hands.
02:23:13
Speaker
So I'm like, dude, you got to remember, it's a sport. Don't forget about the sports machine. Look at Look at him.
02:23:20
Speaker
And this is his first fight. So I'm in the background going nuts. Me and my brother are going nuts. a If you hear if you hear the the crowd, he's a local guy. So they didn't cheer for Carlos, but they cheered for for for him.
02:23:33
Speaker
Everybody went nuts. And that pumped me up. And I was like, oh, here we go. Right. What what weight class is he? Right there, he was 145, so his next fight, he's fighting in 140s. Or maybe he was... I think he was in the 135, somewhere around there, but he he bumped up to 140s for this next one.
02:23:53
Speaker
That was me in high school, 135. That was me when I was 10, probably. yet I've never... don't remember when I that small.
02:24:03
Speaker
I think it was hard. Somebody told me, hey, where's your six pack at? Jocka, I was like, yeah, it's under there. It's under there. It's marinating. It's hibernating.
02:24:16
Speaker
who what up about longtail What does MGTOW mean? MGTOW. MGTOW. MGTOW. Oh, so I figured out what that, ah heat I found out what that meant the other day.
02:24:29
Speaker
I thought it was a towing company the whole time, but it means something. What's it mean? oh yeah I forgot. Can you put down what it means outlaw in the chat? Excuse me, guys. so If you're in chat, this is my son. He's in the white shorts. he's This is his first fight. He's got another fight coming up March 15th. He's ready to rip through fucking ready to go apeshit. He gets rocked once, and I thought he going to get knocked out.
02:24:59
Speaker
But it's it's a pretty quick fight. It's only a couple minutes. That's fine. We got time to go. And so he has a wrestling background. That slam is so legit. Damn.
02:25:12
Speaker
Yeah, Genocide, that's my that's my boy right there. i got That's my ah second second kid. No, he's my third kid. Be one of them. Numbers are hard. When when do you have four, that that tends to happen.
02:25:27
Speaker
Yeah. That's okay. My grandmother always used say, what's your fucking name? Don't lie to me. I'll fucking find out. I know where you live. Hmm.
02:25:39
Speaker
Yeah, I let my kid do that. it's it's it was a It's exciting. It's exciting. Like, if you actually look in the background at some of these, I'm running around freaking going nuts. all honesty, Shaka doesn't let him do it. The kid's an adult. He chose to do it.
02:25:53
Speaker
Well, yeah, he was a ref. Better doing it here with ref than out in the street somewhere just beating some shit out of somebody. I think it's a good idea that he probably got a wrestling experience a kid, you know, and built up that –
02:26:06
Speaker
Stamina and skill. yeah No, not stamina. Just that that idea of protecting his head. You know what I mean? yeah and and all And all the fights that he'd been in in high school, I was like, ah hopefully he does something with it. And he did. and he went out there and he's not new to fighting, damn kid.
02:26:20
Speaker
Yeah, he is. He's channeling it to something. Yeah, but now he's putting it towards sport. Ooh. hate yes You can see me in the background with my my gimbal right there.
02:26:33
Speaker
This is right before I do it. Snap out a bully, but sometimes it has to happen. Yep. he just He just knocked him And then right there, i'm like, get down. You're going hurt yourself.
02:26:46
Speaker
yeah
02:26:49
Speaker
You know, that's funny, too, because that is a thing where, like, MMA fighters, they will hurt themselves during the celebration. Like, they try do a backflip and land on their ankle wrong and fuck it up. He told me going to do a backflip. I had to talk him out of I was like, you don't even know a backflip, dude. Seriously.
02:27:02
Speaker
There's legit, like, world-class fighters that have fucked themselves up celebrating after they whoop somebody's ass because they get too excited and they fucking, yeah, they do something. They get on the cage. They land wrong when they jump off.
02:27:14
Speaker
It's crazy. It sounds like Genocide's daughter is going to be an MMA fighter.
02:27:21
Speaker
inform monday she'd like it fun I think it'd be fun. Yeah, it's fun. It's a whole different experience, man. I could watch him wrestle all the time and and wrestling didn't really, I can, I was nice and calm, but when he's fighting, it's a whole different thing. And everybody, everybody in the family, we all get riled up.
02:27:38
Speaker
I wrestled in high school and I wasn't great, but I did all right. Yeah. I read i had wrestled and I was okay. Wrestler. I wrestled with cravings of going to the bridge at night.
02:27:53
Speaker
Dude, making weight and fucking wrestling sucked. He just ah turned 19, Genocide. Jesus. Oh, and Genocide? You got a video of your daughter whooping up some other chicks? Oh, that's awesome. That's awesome.
02:28:06
Speaker
Yeah. Save that shit and play again in like 10 years before worked for you or some shit. Fuck yeah. Um... ah one
02:28:18
Speaker
she so There's all different types of fighting. You know what i mean? So when it's for sport, um the outcome should be, you know, winner or loser.
02:28:35
Speaker
um You know, you get to shake hands afterwards. yeah But then there's that type of fighting where... um
02:28:48
Speaker
If you lose... It
02:28:55
Speaker
could be worse. could be Bloodsport. you know yeah oh It doesn't have to be in a ring, but you're going home in the box regardless.
02:29:07
Speaker
Exactly. And that' that's the beauty of actually having the the opportunity. Oh, okay. I'm sorry. that sound that that could be a That could be a problem there, genocide. How old is your daughter? She's going out picking just going around picking out fights, man. Now she's got restraining orders against her.
02:29:22
Speaker
That's pretty rubbish. So me and my wife were driving around town two days ago. went to the grocery store we stopped at a stoplight and my wife was driving and two cars pulled up behind us my wife's like oh crap what's going on babe and i looked in the rearview mirror two two females got out of each car we thought they're gonna come to our car my wife got a little scared and then right in in the middle of traffic these two these two girls just started beating the crap out of each other so we we stopped and i just moved my mirror and i was like oh they are fighting
02:29:54
Speaker
You know, I'm just watching. they It wasn't enough for me to intervene, but they were beating the crap out each other. Then they got up, got in their cars, and drove away. Nothing else happened. They handled business, got car, and drove.
02:30:07
Speaker
And then I was like, you know, I got to respect them for, you know, no weapons were drawn. They fought, got in their car, and then took off. Got on with their day. I was like, I respect that. They handled business. Your daughter's 20. You don't want to know if your son's single. This is a son that just got engaged, right?
02:30:22
Speaker
The fighter. No, no, no. He's 19, and yes, he is single. Oh, shit. do we just Did we do an arranged marriage here on this show? did Here we go.
02:30:33
Speaker
well In honor of your son, we're going to take a real quick break. refuse be of any arranged marriages. We're going to take a real quick break. Yeah, it's posted on my channel. Do same.
02:30:45
Speaker
And we're going to play a little Leo, one of my favorites. I can't pronounce his
Stream Highlights & Mishaps
02:30:51
Speaker
last name. He does metal covers. And this is holding up for you. What are you about? Hey, fellas, I got to jump off real quick before the break. I just wanted to say thank you for letting me pop up.
02:31:03
Speaker
I got a restreaming on my channel, so maybe some new people will come through. But thank you. I appreciate buddy. Yeah, thanks, man. So we'll be right back.
02:31:53
Speaker
Where are all the good men gone and where are all the gods?
02:32:12
Speaker
Late at night I toss and turn and I dream of what I need
02:34:28
Speaker
I
02:35:38
Speaker
Yeah, there's a little Leo. bench I can't pronounce his last name. I want to say he's Swedish. but I don't know. ah don't know. Frog Leap Studios has some amazing covers of songs. And that is, of course, The Holding Out by My Hero, by originally by Bonnie.
02:35:58
Speaker
Was it Bonnie White? Is a White or Wright? I can't remember. no But ah hey hey, everybody. um Everybody. Hey, everybody everybody I dropped the Nonsensical Network YouTube link in the the chat. If you guys want to click it and hit follow, that'd be awesome.
02:36:17
Speaker
Hit the like subscribe and Ring that bell. Kick ah kick glicking the bells. last
02:36:27
Speaker
i had to I had to make myself a soup. I'm hungry. I wish. Man, I have. I'm a hungry, but I have an appetite. Right? Because I don't feel good. It's like I have to put some oranges down. mean No, I'm mildly pissed with myself. So I dropped my bottle of Valentina and it broke.
02:36:51
Speaker
Valentina? What the fuck is that? It's it's a hot sauce. Oh, that's shit you were telling me about that you just bought? Yeah. Yeah, I just bought it and I dropped it. and ah i all grow so I have a mess. i haven only up have words I have enough to get me through tonight.
02:37:08
Speaker
he's like himself nice anyway It's not very hot. It barely registers on the Scoville level, but it gives enough kick where it's like, hmm, this is good.
02:37:20
Speaker
Now I have to go buy another one. I'm mildly pissed about that. How much is the bottle of that? Two bucks? Maybe. i guess I got a little bit in this too.
02:37:32
Speaker
But it's... Untrackle said he was out walking anyway. Yeah, I saw that. ah yeah, welcome back everybody to the Nonsensical Network. This is Nonsensical Nonsense. It is the Open Door Challenge. And of course, the link is going in the chat along with the link to our YouTube channel where you can go ahead like, follow, subscribe all that fun shit.
02:37:51
Speaker
um That way, if you want to come up, hang out, talk. Lazy, what have you been up with, sir? What have you been up to? Not a whole lot. hanging out Last night had a fucking crazy stream, and it was a lot of fun.
02:38:06
Speaker
That's why i almost wasn't to get on tonight. My wife lets me get away with one crazy night of streaming. So like when i when I factor other ones in, I got to be like, hey, I might stream tonight.
02:38:17
Speaker
See if she gives me a dirty look or not. I'm like, okay. what she gave me She gave me the green light. Not a very crazy night tonight. No crazy shenanigans. No, no i'm gonna be a mild night um
02:38:34
Speaker
It's been a long fucking week. yeah I'm so glad the long fucking weeks are over for me. I don't have to deal with that. That the job I was doing was just, I was practically chained to this desk for 10 hours a day. It was annoying.
02:38:51
Speaker
That's why you have your hot sauce handy. Oh, dude. I know. i it's It's one thing to be, it's one thing to work from home. Because you know you can get up, walk around.
02:39:03
Speaker
wait But the the job I was doing, I had to basically be sitting here, and when my phone rang, I had to answer within one or two rings. With the new job, it's it's I'm actually making the calls.
02:39:15
Speaker
So it's like, I can take my fucking time. so and i Go to hell, i'm okay Go
Travel Shows & Seafood Opinions
02:39:24
Speaker
right to hell. That sounds delicious.
02:39:26
Speaker
Oh, it must be horrible to use the to say. Well, that actually brings up an interesting subject. So they have a they have a um a show here in Cancun.
02:39:39
Speaker
It's called Captain Hook. go out You go on a pirate ship, and it's actually a barge turned into a pirate ship. And they do... It's dinner and a show. you know It's a pirate ship and the pirates stage of mutiny, blah, blah, blah.
02:39:52
Speaker
And it's got open bar, which is awesome. Pirates doing pirate things. It's pirates doing pirate things. But it's open bar. And so, A, you're drinking all night and you're interacting with the pirates. and you're The pirates are also your waiters.
02:40:06
Speaker
And I go every year on my birthday. It's my favorite thing to do. But they also do surf and turf. And I always get served My wife gets served up. She's not a big lobster fan.
02:40:17
Speaker
This woman loves seafood, but she's like, i don't like lobster. was like, I'll fucking eat it. So I give her my steak. Who attacks you when you eat? How dare they? Yeah, you should murder them. I love a good lobster, man. oh Fuck yeah.
02:40:37
Speaker
Jeff, where was the worst what's the worst seafood you've ever eaten that's made you sick? Your mom. You forget her name. i think she was Sally. yeah no it alls um I don't get sick from seafood.
02:40:52
Speaker
I just hate the fucking taste. I don't mind shrimp. I love lobster. Crab on occasion. But other than that, I'm out. i won Lazy, what about you, my man?
02:41:04
Speaker
I love seafood. worst plate over Worst time you've ever had it though I've actually not really had a bad experience with seafood Other than like sometimes you get lobster That's like overdone it's like kind of rubbery That fucking pit that pisses me off Because it's like I don't eat it very egg Eat it probably a couple times a year So when I do I want it to be fucking amazing You know And then you get the fucking rubbery shit and it's okay, want somebody. That's when you go back you punch the chef and go do it. You just punch him. Now I feel weird because I made the mistake of eating shrimp at a strip club one time and I got fucked up. It's sick. There's certain... Okay, hold So when I got out of the Air Force, I went to Phoenix, Arizona and went through MMI, motorcycle mechanics, the Institute.
02:41:55
Speaker
We were in class and it was lunchtime. And right down the road from MMI was a strip club. And during lunch hour, they had this like $5 or $7 steak and shrimp fucking lunch. $7 steak and shrimp.
02:42:09
Speaker
That's already a red flag. Do you throw in strip club? know. Oh, fuck no. I know. It's like gas station sushi. That sounds good. No. No. I know. I'm not saying it was one better decisions. You're lucky to be alive right now. However, there's a couple strip clubs in Vegas that their buffet is like, who cares about the horse meat on the fucking stage? The horse meat on the stage.
02:42:35
Speaker
I'll you what though, the strip club had had a stripper though. It had no nipples. She had a botched fucking boob job and no nipples. It was the weirdest fucking thing, man. Is it weird I want to see this?
02:42:49
Speaker
That's like having your keyboard, but none of the keys are labeled what letter they are. saw a keyboard like that. She didn't have the nipple, the areola, nothing.
02:43:00
Speaker
It was just like, talking more just boop. I saw a keyboard the other day that when you hit the button, it lights up with the letter. And i was like, how do you fucking find the letter? Because I can't. write I hunt peck like you read it. Oh, my keyboard. I have keyboarding skills.
02:43:19
Speaker
Yeah, both. Yeah, my shit. I mean, I have okay keyboarding skills as long I can find the lines on the F and the J button. I'm all right. Yeah, that's why they have the little bumps on them so you know where to position your fingers. Put your fingers.
02:43:32
Speaker
Jeff's like, I'm just now learning wise no but look at they look at the j hold on Look at the J button and the F button. Look at the language at the bottom. That's where you position your point of view.
02:43:44
Speaker
what even Here's the crazy thing. My keyboard is different. Hold on. No, Jeff. I bet it's not. I bet it is. Hold on. We have to. Do you see? Where did you get that? The government auction?
02:43:59
Speaker
This button. What is that button? jeffs jeff key but Jeff's keyboard has hieroglyphics. That's how he does this thing. No, it's a Mexican keyboard. It has the Mexican alphabet.
02:44:12
Speaker
Hold on. I'm sending you picture. What does that mean? You type in pesos? Dude, untrackable life. Oh, that's not cool. Let me get a picture. What do you say? Just realize you... Walk a mile in the cold rain just to realize you forgot your wallet.
02:44:26
Speaker
I've done ah that. that sucks. It makes you want to strangle a motherfucker. Yeah, that's when you kick... Just rob somebody, dude. Don't worry about it. How do you not know the J and F button had ridges? They've had it ever since I was a kid.
02:44:41
Speaker
I'm sure. It's always been there. I just don't pay attention. because i just When a deaf chick has an orgasm, does she moan in sign language? and I always wondered if deaf people think when I yawn, if I'm screaming.
02:44:54
Speaker
That's a good one, too.
02:44:59
Speaker
Oh, look, Jeff's pissed. No, he's just tired. No, I'm just tired. Let me lie. That's funny. I like that one. I like that one. Do you see the N-Yay button? See the N-Yay button next to the L? The what button? You slapped your keyboard right across my face.
02:45:15
Speaker
I got to zoom my fucking shit and next to the What kind of fucking button is that? You know what, Jeff? I take back my round of applause. That's an N with a lino rubber.
02:45:27
Speaker
That's the N-Yay button. But see, look at your F button and your J button. You see those ridges right there? see them, but my keyboard is still. He just thought they were growing tumors. Yeah. I thought I had a fucked up keyboard. I'm just trying to realize how he's like this old and never knew that.
02:45:43
Speaker
It's of those things. I've always noticed the bumps like they're, because of the 5 has that too, because I have the keypad. Like the blue thing and the free will thing I get, but the keyboard thing, I mean come on.
02:45:54
Speaker
I literally just use my keyboard. Like I type, I don't fucking. You've never like felt, you've never been like, Oh, what are these? This is like my 15th fucking keyboard. You're a disgrace, Jeff. There's no way around it.
02:46:06
Speaker
He's one of those guys who's constantly tripping over his shoestrings because he's like, i don't know what those are for. I'm checking my laptop. there's He trips over his shoestrings while he's wearing his sandals. That's the fucked up part. Because I wear a sandal.
02:46:18
Speaker
I just realized my keyboard has them on my fucking laptop, too. No, but like I have there's there's extra buttons on my keyboard. But here's what's crazy. Like, you know how when you hit control and and two and you get the ax of Not on my computer.
02:46:36
Speaker
Because my keyboard setup is different. Because it's Mexico. Because ran from the border. Yeah, I'm fucking confused. I have to hit the ah control the shift and the NEA button.
02:46:49
Speaker
That's how I get asked. Wait, all here hold on. Just another question popped in my mind. All right, so i remember you telling me you got those headphones and a new mouse free. that Was that from the the the job that you just fucking quit?
02:47:02
Speaker
No. No, I got these for paying my internet. It was like a promotion thing they had. I went to go pay my internet and they're like, here. You pay your bill, you get something free. They get it incentivized you to go pay your bill. That's awesome.
02:47:14
Speaker
No, the reason why I got is because I have like nine months, nine or nine months or a year of paying my bill on time. I've never been late. Good job. Oh, you get, you it's my internet, dude. It's the only bill I don't pay like i don't want to go My electric bill. I'm like, wait, they're cutting it off today? Here's the money. yeah yeah they cut as The internet don't work without If they cut off his access to Pornhub, he's just lost.
02:47:44
Speaker
He that one a time every fucking month. was going to say without electricity, doesn't have the internet, but I guess he does have a mobile phone.
02:47:53
Speaker
I didn't know that. yeah a je I'm sorry, that guy popped in. What's up, that guy? who What's up, dude? but one things like but what What bothers me is in Mexico, I pay my electric bill every two months.
02:48:06
Speaker
You don't pay it every month. Oh, that's weird. Yeah, if it's... but look that was raising and yeah My last electric bill was $100. What the hell?
02:48:17
Speaker
Yeah, and I run my... air It's on right now, and i'm ah it's in my bedroom.
02:48:22
Speaker
It's running 20 grand. I never shut the fuck off. Oh, fucking cheap. Holy shit. Oh, And like every light in the house is on. i don't know. Well, yeah. The lowest it's ever, my water bill, that'll trip you It's like three bucks a month.
02:48:42
Speaker
I just realized my camera. It's that Mexican water. We don't drink the water. yeah's again That's what I'm saying, bro. That's different. Yeah. And the only thing we use it for is flush toilets take showers. Let's be honest. And do the dishes, you know.
02:48:57
Speaker
You don't cook without water. You don't drink it, you know.
02:49:03
Speaker
Let's be honest. I don't drink fucking water. I drink Coke. I drink energy drinks and Valentino. You don't drink water? That's not cool. See, you should say... get water when I eat my soup. Shut up.
02:49:16
Speaker
You should never drink your own piss on that diet. It's probably safer for him to drink his piss than the Mexican water. This is true. Yeah, I've never... I've never... So, I had a buddy of mine come down here.
02:49:31
Speaker
i' met him here. He was a friend of friend of mine. And he was down here for a week. And I was like, dude, this place there's a place over here that's got great fucking tacos. I go there all the time. We go there and eat. Have a great time. Have a couple beers.
02:49:44
Speaker
This motherfucker gets so sick. And he's he's like, my God, how did you eat that? i I'm so sick. i was like, it's street food. It's good. He's like, I can't believe I'm so sick.
02:49:56
Speaker
Because he's, you know. Oh, what up, Teddy? It's not necessarily but what is
Open Door Challenge & Yoga Humor
02:50:00
Speaker
the best moment. What is the open door challenge? Really the open door challenge. Just Saturday nights. Anybody who's invited up, we usually just drop the link in the chat. You guys should just bounce up and chit chat or laugh at Jeff or make fun of me. Except for you.
02:50:14
Speaker
Yeah. Just don't, just keep the penis off the camera. That's Rick's kid. He's not allowed up here. He's not old enough. but Oh yeah, it's definitely, this is for 18 and up only though.
02:50:26
Speaker
Yeah, Wyatt, go to bed.
02:50:32
Speaker
Fucking Wyatt. I knew he was going to do it. He does it every fucking time. That's pretty funny. though He does it to be a little dick. and if I think you're jealous of my headphones, please.
02:50:43
Speaker
No, just think funny.
02:50:50
Speaker
no i just think they're funny kind of They're comfy. You look like an escrow. They are. they are yeah it's funny i have they change colors too?
02:51:02
Speaker
Yeah, they slowly change colors. It's like a mood ring for his head when he's mad they turn red. yeah You know what? I'm going to do something. going to be lazy happy.
02:51:14
Speaker
Oh, look at that. Oh, God. master game Okay. I'll be occupied for a while, guys. i'm just going to be staring at his background. It just captivates me. yeah I love how the spaceship goes through one ear comes out the other.
02:51:28
Speaker
there's nothing in there There's nothing in there to stop it. Join the club. got hats, t-shirts, and everything. You can get them at beauty. Minty's like, Jeff,
02:51:40
Speaker
Go take yoga so you can suck your own wiener. Who's the fuck? Say a wiener. It reminds me of Billy Madison. you called You called the shit poop.
02:51:51
Speaker
Right? yes
02:51:57
Speaker
Yes. Let's be honest. Me and yoga, two things you'll never see in the same room. I can't do yoga. I can't bend down and tie my shoes, man.
02:52:08
Speaker
I don't do exercise anymore. I'm 44 years old. If you try it on stream, though, your viewers would go through the roof. like Check out the jackass trying to do I'm just laying on my face. You can stream that on your channel, buddy. I fell on my face again. I'm not flexible. My back hurts all the time.
02:52:31
Speaker
Even just sitting here, I'm like, oh, my back is killing That's my next purchase. I need a new chair. I hate this chair.
02:52:44
Speaker
I built this chair 10 years ago. Wait, you built the chair you're sitting in? I built my kitchen. it's It's actually a dining room table. I built my i dining room chair. I built my dining room table and chair.
02:52:57
Speaker
Chairs. No way. That's pretty cool, actually. And, well, it's gone through hell and back. My kid's got paint on it. Who is this? who Who is, hi, I'm the daughter?
02:53:09
Speaker
Savannah? Hi. Hi, Savannah. That's, that yeah I think, swear oh, Shaka. Yeah, Shaka, yeah, Shaka, Shaka bounced. the daughter ah let see Oh, Savannah is your daughter.
02:53:26
Speaker
That's what I thought, yeah. She's the fighter. Yeah, a little scrapper. I don't mind a scrapper. I've dated a couple scrappers. I'm just crazy. I'm not calling you a bitch just because I don't know what to say.
02:53:41
Speaker
Don't beat me up. he's Please beat him up. i mean would Jeff, with those headphones, you look like a prime target to be bullied.
02:53:51
Speaker
I'm going to tell you the same thing I told Blaze. Free is free and it's the exact perfect price. Yeah. but No, but it isn't free because you know what the cost of you wearing those? Constant beratement.
02:54:08
Speaker
Blaze is reading my mind. ain't free, motherfucker. I will Stevie Wonder this bitch all night. You're about to pay the goddamn Piper. mean, wearing headphones like that guarantees you guarantees you're the butt of the joke.
02:54:26
Speaker
Mm-hmm.
02:54:29
Speaker
I just like to be part of the conversation. don't care. Dude, it's been all on. What's left of the LGBT since Trump? Oh, geez.
02:54:40
Speaker
that'ss on Yeah, LGBT likes. Funny and fucked. That's funny and fucked. All at the same time. They're LGBT likes.
02:54:55
Speaker
Chaka. Chaka. I appreciate that, Jonathan. He said he's re-streaming it. No, it's one of those things. I had two choices. I had these or ones with little cat ears that lit up. And I was like, no.
02:55:10
Speaker
Harley Dad is not here. He was earlier, though, but hello, Starter. Yeah. What up, Starter? Yes, let's get it Harley Dad up here so Blaze and him can get in another fight. I'm not drunk tonight, so he has no excuse not to. You were here for that argument. i was there The next day next day, what happened last night?
02:55:32
Speaker
i was so drunk. I was like, are you fucking kidding me? Do you know what's funny? is So, like, right as that was getting going, I had to, like, kind of jump off. I was like, you fucking left me for that argument alone. What's worse?
02:55:44
Speaker
What's worse is I get ready. where It's getting close to the end of the stream, and I'm like, we got to go. Shut the fuck up, Jeff. He's drunk.
02:55:55
Speaker
You know what? Go for buddy. God. That was so fucking funny. Do you know the funny thing, too, Blaze? is I was like, hey, dude. dear I don't want to do this. i don't and you know I have my opinions, but not the time. He's like, no, we're doing this.
02:56:09
Speaker
He's like, no, no. and And then finally, he's like, fuck it. Let's go.
02:56:15
Speaker
Oh, man. Next day, I get a message on WhatsApp. What happened last night? fair enough Are you serious? You told me you shut the fuck up. i unless that's like when i that's i That happened because I was like, you know what? i'm not going to drink tonight, but bourbon. but that's what i did Bourbon gets old.
02:56:33
Speaker
all i know I normally drink vodka, but you like once I get bourbon, I can't stop. like I'm like drinking until it's gone, gone. i'm that I'm the same way with white Russians. did that last Friday.
02:56:45
Speaker
Do you say you're the same way with white rice, Jeff? White Russians. Oh. Ah, some Caucasians, huh? Yes, Caucasians. brown water. get next In Mexico, they call them Alfonso Threaty. That's why he drinks the white Russians and not the brown water.
02:57:06
Speaker
Well, i I'm not the biggest fan of vodka because it sneaks up and punches you in the face. And I've been a victim of that punch and a lot of times.
02:57:18
Speaker
Yeah, it goes down so... but What do you got going on there, Blaze? it's um This is just Dr. McGillicuddy's apple pie. It's just a pre-mix. It's not very strong, but it's a liqueur. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've had that for many years, but it's not bad. What the fuck's a brown cow?
02:57:39
Speaker
A brown cow is Kahlua and milk. Richard Butler. It's a white Russian without the vodka. ah Here we go. I heard those have broken the prison to let other men know.
02:57:53
Speaker
he's talking about the headphones. I i agree. I agree. Come on over, Richard. What's up, Daddy? I agree. okay Don't judge me, Lacey. It's not that I was skipping it on purpose. I honestly just didn't see it off off off the top.
02:58:09
Speaker
We get a lot of comments. We don't skip comments on like some streamers. It just takes me a while to get to them.
02:58:19
Speaker
Later. That's how it is on my shirt. You forget. No, like I said, free is free. but I don't fucking care. They're soundproof. They're fucking noise canceling.
02:58:32
Speaker
Untrackable, dude. It happens. I hope it wasn't anything important you had to get at the store. Cigarettes, that's important. Well, I hope you at least shoplifted so you didn't walk away. I ain't.
02:58:45
Speaker
I agree. see this This one con confused me. It's BDR. i just know how to change my name. Who's BDR? No, his name is BDR.
02:58:55
Speaker
Big Dick Ryden? I don't know.
02:59:05
Speaker
maybe I say that all in jest. No, he doesn't. He's 100% serious. And his address is but Yeah, and you can trust Jeff because look at those headphones. Would he lie to you? That's right. Why would i why would the e-girl like me? Is that Rich?
02:59:21
Speaker
Yeah, I'm seriously that retarded right now. That's fucking Fireman Rich. Isn't that Fireman Rich? No. hello God, I suck with names, man. No. Fireman Rich, actually, it says Fireman Rich.
02:59:34
Speaker
That's what I thought. I'm seriously that retarded. You guys got to realize I am I'm holding on by thread right now. He's got a spaceship flying through his head, guys. You know he's got nothing going on This is a rough night for me. So I'm watching that show Resident Alien.
02:59:55
Speaker
Have you seen it? Okay, so I didn't bring it up last night because I wanted to jump off, but I watched the first couple episodes of that, and at first i was like, I like the concept, this is cool, and then i just it just got too repetitive.
03:00:13
Speaker
Yeah. to Like, get to the point already? Yeah, I don't know. It was just, it didn't hit me. It didn't hit me. didn't hit me It's funny. I love Alan Tudyk. I think he's hilarious.
03:00:26
Speaker
But there's a lot of repetitivity and I'm like, just fucking get on with it. Bang the Native American chick that you want to. I know you do. But she's cute.
03:00:38
Speaker
What? Well, the the so Alan Tudyk, he pretends to be a doctor. He's actually an alien. Because he killed the original doctor.
03:00:52
Speaker
Right. And his assistant slash head nurse is this good looking Native American girl. i' like This is why this is this is what this is what.
03:01:03
Speaker
Yes, this is what pissed me off about it. Now that you brought that up, it's because he didn't realize what he did was wrong. like wait Like this alien has no morals at all.
03:01:15
Speaker
Oh, no, no, no. He he treat I love it. I love it. I love it. ah little kid And he looks he looks at humans as as if they were insects, basically. Well, well his mission, his entire mission, the whole concept the show, is he was actually supposed to be doing a fly over Earth, drop a fucking bomb, and destroy everything.
03:01:33
Speaker
Yeah. And then he crashed because of a lightning strike. but wait But what bothered me was... The way they wrote that whole scenario. like He looks at the humans like they're insects, yet he has to live amongst them because he fucked up.
03:01:53
Speaker
You know what I mean? The irony, there's there's a level of irony there, which I do appreciate. Thanks, Chair. But, i don't know. he's he's He's slowly becoming too like some of the humans.
03:02:06
Speaker
The bargearer cracks me up. yeah no yeah not well this is This is what it is. I i guess it's it's the whole here's an alien race. They're supposed to be so advanced. and interior So it makes sense that they would look at us as insects. He fucks up just like humans does.
03:02:24
Speaker
he just simply He doesn't realize he fucked up in in that same sense. Because it technically wasn't his fault. he His ship was struck by lightning.
03:02:39
Speaker
So what else is due? How did his ship get struck by lightning? Well, so... Pry from the lightning. that i like So, in the in there's a flashback section where he's he's flying through.
03:02:57
Speaker
it is. Queer. Are you seriously that fucking retarded? You didn't know who the fuck I was? No. I don't pay attention. Aren't you... Rick, how long have you fucking known me?
03:03:10
Speaker
You stupid bastard. what the fuck Blaze, you're muted.
03:03:16
Speaker
can get what the What the fuck is my name right here in the fucking in the video?
TV Shows & Personal Nicknames
03:03:21
Speaker
Gay. I see. Gay. Homosexual. No, that's you with those fucking headphones on.
03:03:26
Speaker
You and Joe. Yes! Oh, God. Spot on, sir. Spot on. How are you doing tonight, Rick? um but My whole point was youre whole life if this this alien was supposed to fly over by Earth and drop a bomb on the train, why is he below the atmosphere level to get hit by lightning?
03:03:50
Speaker
um No, he was supposed to land and plant the device. He was supposed to land and plant the device. It wasn't supposed to be a fly and drop. He had to actually land. Exactly. He had to actually land and drop.
03:04:05
Speaker
And he was getting close to land and it got struck by life. How's that superior intelligence? I didn't write the fucking show. i know but I'm telling you why I have a problem, why I was having an issue with it.
03:04:19
Speaker
it was It was a sloppy par plot is what I'm trying to say. it it comes down to it was a quick fix to get him stuck on the planet to make the show. Let's be honest. Dude, I've been there. I've been there, but it was not from alcohol. was other drugs, but I feel you.
03:04:38
Speaker
Ask Nick if if she can feel it I got you, Rick. Thank you, Rick.
03:04:46
Speaker
I don't think I've ever seen you in chat before. Usually just to see you on screen. Agreed. Just like when I popped into... kind of where was Remember last this past Tuesday, this cat, 2010 or whatever, came up?
03:05:05
Speaker
He's got a YouTube channel. Him and Glick already knew each other on Facebook, but they just realized it at that point. But I popped in to say hi He was live earlier. And he didn't know who I was because it just shows blazing blasphemer. But everybody just knows me as blaze or blazing, not without the blasphemer or what my logo is or my blue.
03:05:25
Speaker
How many people actually know your real name? No, not very many. Like I didn't find it out until I got your fucking email. i um Well, see, what's funny, okay, so i my birth name is Joshua.
03:05:41
Speaker
I don't like it. Usually I ask people to call me Josh because Joshua is my Christian name and I'm not a Christian. look go See, look at him. Pretentious. My birth name. I am being pretentious. I always refer to it as my government name, but.
03:05:58
Speaker
There you go. that that fine That's fine. Yeah, can say that too. My real name is my government name. I don't know. Mm-hmm. Have you ever considered going into and changing your name?
03:06:10
Speaker
Who, me? No, in general. I thought about it, yeah. i want be I thought about changing it to Blazing Blasphemer. Right? Like, that would be cool. want to be known 2024 Angel of Death. Well, don't know that.
03:06:28
Speaker
well i don't know about that It would be interesting signing checks, I'm just saying. Well, I mean, i've been using this I've been using this handle online for fuck well over a decade or decade at least.
03:06:41
Speaker
i was going to say, Lazy Jedi is just the handle I've had forever. Yeah. Yeah, so if you go to any social platform, you type in Blazing Blasphemer, most likely it's me.
03:06:53
Speaker
So... I was...
03:06:57
Speaker
In, let's see, freshman year high school. How'd you come up with your name, Jeff? My government name, because I'm a pretentious prick. It's actually my middle name.
03:07:09
Speaker
That's your middle name? I didn't call it my government name. Who gives somebody Jeff as a middle name? Your parents are cunts. What's your first name? It's actually David. Little? David?
03:07:21
Speaker
No, because my dad and I have the same first name. He's David Leo. Oh, so you're junior. Technically, but what's funny is like when I was a kid, it would get confusing because my mom would like Dave and we'd both come running in and she's like, yeah, I make the younger one.
03:07:36
Speaker
That's why I screamed. okay Then it just, it just slowly screams. Every time she screams, Dave's in the bedroom. that's no sorry
03:07:48
Speaker
That's actually brings up an interesting question. No, no,
03:07:52
Speaker
no I did once and I'm still terrified. One my kids walked in on me and hit me. That has happened. My dad was going down and I was like, ah! How many years of therapy did that take to get rid of? It was two seconds and I can't get it out of my head.
03:08:16
Speaker
I literally went on the couch. What technique are you using? I'm asking.
03:08:24
Speaker
you know For later on in life. you know mean I mean, take take a mistake and and turn it into an educational thing. Show me how to do that.
03:08:35
Speaker
so On Sundays, my mom is like, I will never miss a Sunday at church, ever. And that woman stuck to it.
03:08:46
Speaker
The one time we were snowed in, like to the point where the ah fucking truck wouldn't get out of the driveway, We watched it on TV. and that yeah what That's not the same. but's not the same that's not That's not the same.
03:09:00
Speaker
That's like saying it's like saying I can't make it today. That's like saying going to go to every every local football game, but because I can't make it one time, it's the same as I watch it on TV. No, no.
03:09:12
Speaker
But she had it like we did the Catholic exercises, too, which is stand, sit, and fucking kneel. Like at the right spot. You had to do that your own home? Oh, dude, it was fucking awesome.
03:09:24
Speaker
That is child abuse, okay? So when I turned 18, my mom said, are you still going to go to church? I said, no. I put myself up for adoption. i so myself a friend adopt I have time off for good behavior is what I told him. Why I stopped going to church. Wait, wait, wait.
03:09:40
Speaker
Blaze is looking at the spaceship. No, the thunder. You guys don't hear the thunder? I heard that. I thought somebody knocked something over in your room. No, that's the thunder, man. That's why a dog's hiding somewhere. The way you turned around, it was like you were staring at that spaceship going behind you. What are you up to, you little motherfucker?
03:09:59
Speaker
that's what It looks like. hall a
03:10:04
Speaker
but But yeah. like So my mom goes every fucking Sunday. and we we can She doesn't go Wednesdays? No, Sunday. Oh, she's not a true believer.
03:10:15
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Her faith like her faith is weak. Yeah. Anyway, if we would go, we and two Sundays a month, we would go to breakfast after. Jesus is going to punish her.
03:10:26
Speaker
Probably. Jesus is God, instead oh David.
03:10:34
Speaker
But I think I was like maybe six or seven. And I wanted something out of the kitchen. i was Wait a second. Hold up. You just said you caught you walked in on your dad going down on your mom. That's not very Catholic. oh he sure Are you sure he just wasn't on his knees praying? and you thought Maybe he was.
03:10:54
Speaker
He was worshiping a false god. All I know is I walked in. I didn't knock because I was six. I walked in and went, oh, shit. And walked out.
03:11:06
Speaker
Oh, but I would believe in the almighty beaver more than I would the almighty God. Just saying. Oh, yeah. Oh, See how I circle? yeah sees See how I close that circle?
03:11:19
Speaker
I knock when I'm home alone, just in case. you What's up, Dave D? It's getting out of control. Damn it, Jeff. Get the panel back and under control. It's too far.
03:11:34
Speaker
Nope, nope, nope. It's Saturday. We can go anywhere we want. Hop on that yellow magic school bus. We're going to go somewhere cool. That's a booty hole. You ever seen that TikTok? No, man. One of the kids goes, what's that?
03:11:50
Speaker
That's a booty hole. Says what?
03:11:53
Speaker
and so one of the kids goes little girl goes that's the bud says what That's a booty hole. You've never seen that?
03:12:04
Speaker
Hold on, I gotta find it. because Somebody obviously edited it for TikTok. That's funny as shit, though. That's a booty hole.
03:12:16
Speaker
I was muted. didn't realize I was muted.
03:12:21
Speaker
umm sorry I'm sorry. I'm burning out. got My fever's up. You got a fever? Yeah. Yeah, when I said I'm fucking sick, I mean, I'm sick.
03:12:31
Speaker
I feel like shit. But i'm hanging in there. I'm good, though. i mean so so You gotta have a few more sips. That'll kill all the fucking... You know what you say that as I'm grabbing the bottle. Yeah. yeah Cough medicine.
03:12:46
Speaker
Dr. Lazy's gonna help you. Just take a few more swigs on that. You're gonna feel better. Nightquil ain't got shit on this. Exactly. Hell yeah.
03:13:00
Speaker
just So I found it. I found it. oh we gotta see this shit up I'm probably to end up finishing this tonight. It's not very much. You fucking better.
03:13:11
Speaker
i won't respect you. this has gotta be like You don't respect me anyway. you talk oh That's a good point. This has got to be five years old. but my My wife and I found this on TikTok and we quote it all the time. so Everybody says, what's that? We go, girl, that's a booty hole.
03:13:26
Speaker
what and Girl, that's a booty howl. Not a hold, Keisha. A valve.
03:13:38
Speaker
So you remember last night when I was talking about that show Preacher and you were looking at the cast? Yeah, that's kind of like ass face, kid. Yeah. Yeah. Arse face. It's spelled arse.
03:13:50
Speaker
Arse face. Arse. Is it British? I don't know. Because when I saw it, it's it was spelled arse. Then it must be British. rs I want to watch it because it looks funny.
03:14:05
Speaker
jeff you're such It's actually a decent show. I dug it. i dug it i may un check it out I'll add it to my list. i so I found this app. It's called Cinesphere. It works exactly like my Flixster, but it streams. and they're like It doesn't matter what you want to watch. you I was watching the new Matlock, then the old Matlock.
03:14:28
Speaker
I'm watching Lupin, which is French, which is a Netflix series. It's excellent. um I'm watching Reacher again.
03:14:39
Speaker
I'm watching John Wick. I'm watching The Great, which is... Ladies gentlemen, if you haven't seen The Great, it stars Ella Fanning. Ella Fanning.
03:14:50
Speaker
And the guy that played Young Beast in X-Men. oh and she It's called The Great? so great It's Helen the Great, basically.
03:15:01
Speaker
But it's called The Great. And she's she's German. don't know. She's German. It's based on history.
03:15:12
Speaker
She's a German woman that was said sent to Russia to marry the oligarch. But it's only loosely based on history because they curse like sailors.
03:15:23
Speaker
And it's watching Ella Fanning say, fuck it. It's hilarious. Every time. You know, and one of the best. You guys remember that that horrible alligator movie, Lake Placid? The only good part of that fucking love that movie was fucking Betty White saying that this is where I had a cock. I tell you to suck it.
03:15:41
Speaker
Best line in movie ever. That is... Okay, I forgot about that line. Right up there Kevin Bacon. Kevin Bacon screaming, fuck you! Jeff, that's ours that's a tremor um from Preacher. nice tremors All the Tremors movies are good.
03:16:02
Speaker
First one's the best, obviously. but I actually prefer the second. I only watched the first two. There's more. There's like five or six. There's like lot of them. I've only seen the first two. If there's nine, then I have not seen it. I've seen five of them.
03:16:19
Speaker
I fucking love the Tremors movies. It went downhill. I don't know. but I've seen the first two. I like the first two. I like the idea of strapping dynamite to a fucking RC car and driving it around.
03:16:32
Speaker
I'm a big fan too.
03:16:36
Speaker
Dude, I had this buddy back in, well, he was a neighbor, but he would he lived over by a highway. And him and his friends would literally spend hundreds of dollars building RC trucks.
03:16:50
Speaker
You know, you'd go buy a kit, and you'd build it. And they would try to drive it across the highway, six lanes highway. Seven movies. i would make it They literally just did their own version of Frogger. Uh-huh.
03:17:03
Speaker
That's pretty bad. And they would destroy hundreds of ah hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of fucking RCP. I wish I had fucker on money like that. That would actually be fun. Because, like, the one guy, it was their, ho one of them owned a hobby shop, some of that stuff. It didn't cost him minute.
03:17:20
Speaker
But he he got so into it where he built one for a RC show. Wait, did they film it? did they like No, this this is back in the 90s.
03:17:31
Speaker
Oh, shit. this is They were doing cool shit before you know you could get monetized for it. Right? And but he had a he had an RC show truck because you know he was but heavy into the hobby.
03:17:45
Speaker
Where... He had a controller looked like fucking Doc Brown made it with like 400 switches on it And he'd hit a switch and the tailgate would go down. That's cool. Or the doors would open.
03:17:56
Speaker
The windshield wipers would move. I'm like, Jesus Christ, dude. Full interior. Back in the 90s, that kind of shit, you could have made pretty penny off that. I've never seen anything like it again.
03:18:11
Speaker
the The problem with the RC hobby
RC Cars & Racing Simulations
03:18:13
Speaker
is it's exasantly expensive. It's only expensive because when people take this, in eye and I'm guilty of this because I would do it, is you beat the shit out of them drive them.
03:18:27
Speaker
no Not only that, it's the modifications you can do to them. There's a guy on the fly watch. but It's it's just like scientist any other hobby that you're running a motor constantly. It's it's not just the mods. It's the upkeep, the maintenance.
03:18:44
Speaker
Well, it's Because when you buy the we model, the the RC vehicle, like the frame's plastic. And, you know it's a hard plastic. It can break. yeah And you can upgrade it to metal.
03:18:55
Speaker
You know, there's a guy I watched. He built a one-quarter scale gravedigger. I'd make that shit out of carbon fiber. He built it from scratch. And it runs a quarter scale V8 motor.
03:19:08
Speaker
Mm-hmm. Like, have you seen these quarter scale V8 motors? Yeah. it's It's one quarter the size of a V8. So it's like that fucking big. Yes. But it has all- i understand how fractions work.
03:19:21
Speaker
I'm pretty lazy. ah But like, it's got a timing belt. it's got It's got fucking valves. It's got valve springs. Everything.
03:19:32
Speaker
That's why it takes five quarters to make a dollar. Oh, shit. You're dropping some fucking knowledge up in here. Sorry. Let me see if I can find that thing.
03:19:43
Speaker
Wait, did you say five quarters? i was joking when said that. was being sarcastic. I just caught that you said five and not four. I'm like, wait, let me rewind that back in my head.
03:19:59
Speaker
Hey, I'm late to the party, but at least I showed up, okay? I'm going to show you this thing. I have it on mute. I think my internet's slow. You guys are chopping up. working eight brain Check this thing out.
03:20:10
Speaker
He built that from scratch.
03:20:16
Speaker
How cool is that? That's a working V8 motor in the back. That looks badass. Those are tractor tires but from a garden tractor. Oh, that's the Gravedigger, dude.
03:20:27
Speaker
Yeah, it is. Fuck yeah. I'm sorry, but I think that motor is smaller than a quarter size. It looks like probably like a 16th. Well... Depending on the model. Because because it because if you took if you took a 350 and you made you made a quarter size 350 engine, it would still be bigger than that fucking car. Well, the thing is, the thing is is like depending on the brand you buy, the quarter sizes are different.
03:20:53
Speaker
You know what I mean? Because like one-sixteenth of one brand and one-sixteenth of brand. size of a quarter is dependent on the size of the whole that it's a quarter of. I understand.
03:21:03
Speaker
i understand. I'm just saying the industry standard is not there, buddy. Just fucking around, dude. but Yeah, this guy built this thing from scratch. I'm trying to see if there's a picture. Yeah, there's him next to it. and You can see how big this thing is.
03:21:20
Speaker
That is... Yeah. It's beefy. But, like, he machined his own front axles. He machined his own front axles. He made the transmission from scratch.
03:21:32
Speaker
I have... So, I was in a... I had bought a drone, but that fucking... it was It wasn't a very expensive one. I got one to learn, and i got it stuck in a tree so far up I could not get it. but Anyway, I do plan on getting another drone for the van life. I was also thinking about getting it.
03:21:51
Speaker
ah a land RC vehicle with camera on it so I can so i can explore tunnels and shit. Because there's some caves I've gone into that are there like it gets small to the point where I can't get back there, but there's a gap enough to run an RC car. and they're there I'm just not sure about how the radio frequency works miles down underneath the cavern.
03:22:18
Speaker
Right, you don't want to...
03:22:22
Speaker
if there' If there's anybody listening that lives in Oregon, Central Oregon, if you guys ever go check out the lava tubes, I think it's Arnold Cave. they got ah They got lava tubes and they're all marked by arrows, so make sure you have a light, obviously.
03:22:38
Speaker
right it'll actually it's it'll twistzz You have to be skinny and flexible, but it'll twist and turn and take you through these lava tubes. and You're like going through like this and shit, dude, for like, let's say about
03:22:53
Speaker
maybe an eighth of a mile or of a fucking tubes. And it's crazy. And you end up in another part. Oh, sweet. You're probably down, let me guess, Shasta area?
03:23:04
Speaker
Cave Falls? Maybe Ashland? I'm just guessing. um But those lava tubes are fucking badass to go check out. Have you seen this?
03:23:15
Speaker
This guy, and let me bring up my screen, this guy, and I have it muted, but this guy actually has an... ah
03:23:26
Speaker
A GoPro built into this model, and it's hooked to his racing sim. So, I mean, I have a GoPro. I guess I can just do that, just get RC, and modify it to where I can i can place that GoPro. Because i don't feel I don't want it sticking up, like, on top of the roof. I want it built in, like, maybe in the windshield, so it doesn't hit anything.
03:23:47
Speaker
Right. Well, that's what he's done here. And he actually hooked it up to his racing sim. oh That's dope. So he can actually he can do go out and drive it. I don't want to go all that much, but that is pretty cool.
03:24:01
Speaker
Right? Like, I would totally do this. Could you imagine it? Like, you and your friends all have, like, a setup like that? And then build your fucking RCs and be, like, Mario Kart shit, dude. Fuck. Right? But, like, he literally, I think that this is the video. He takes it to his, his like, high school parking lot okay and does laps.
03:24:18
Speaker
Outside Grands Pass? got you Gotcha, gotcha. Yeah, check that out. like this He's just doing laps around the high school parking lot. Eugene Medford. Wait, I get that backwards.
03:24:30
Speaker
How cool is that?
03:24:33
Speaker
That is pretty dope. I like that. Right? And you can see he's got a speed camera or he's got a speed sensor on there, so it miles speed 60. i think it's max speed is sixty It's not cheap.
03:24:46
Speaker
It's quick. They parked it up on the curb so no one can drive over it. don't know how to set that up. Right? right so oh Like the radio frequency.
03:25:00
Speaker
to but Yeah, because if it's um a GoPro, it might be a GoPro. like Okay, so a camera on a drone, it's set up to send the signal to your wife or your your mobile phone or your iPad whatever you're using as a controller.
03:25:14
Speaker
And I'm assuming he's probably doing the same thing with this. It's sort of the same sort of... I see. They're based off GPS and all that shit. Oh, it's probably the same sort of program, hardware, software that a drone would use.
03:25:29
Speaker
Oh, okay. Yeah. I think this would be cool. Matter of fact, that i mean, you could actually take apart a drone and repurpose all that. i think that's what he's done. see you card That seems pretty plausible.
03:25:42
Speaker
Yeah. But yeah, like that. Or they're built out like that. I bet you can buy them already you like that. I bet you could. But it's one of those things is like, I would totally do this. The problem is I can't do it here because the surface streets are ridiculous.
03:25:58
Speaker
Yeah, you don't want to do it busy because people, people want it over to be a dick. It's not about that. It's about the surface streets are are pothole ridden.
03:26:10
Speaker
got So you'd have to have one that was like that. Like, hook it up to that quarter scale gravedigger. Combine those two. There you go. Like, I'm in.
03:26:23
Speaker
Oh, that's weird. But yeah, it's it's one of those things. Like, I... That's... Right up there with my goal. I'd love to have a full-on racing sim like that.
03:26:33
Speaker
Not even just for the video game aspect, but to be able to hook up an RC to it. and just ah like I can do the surface streets of my neighborhood, which is just a square.
03:26:45
Speaker
But if you hooked it up to like a drift ri because have you seen those drift RCs? They have a gyro in it that literally helps stabilize it so you can drift perfectly. Yeah.
03:26:56
Speaker
That'd be fun.
03:27:00
Speaker
But yeah, it's one of those things is like that looks like fun. But there's a couple of... RC Adventures has one of those GoPros on an RC, but it's literally on the roof, like which is what you were talking about.
03:27:14
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I dig i dig my GoPro, dude. I don't use it a lot, lot but I do. d I like the fact that it's... like Jedi, you alright, man?
03:27:30
Speaker
I like the fact that it's like waterproof like 30 feet. Oh, wow. or Yeah, 30 feet. 30 feet or 3 feet? It's waterproof enough to where i can throw in the pool, the above ground pool and I don't fuck it up.
03:27:45
Speaker
I can put it on my dog and she then she rolls around. Matter of fact, think I've showed that video before.
03:27:54
Speaker
I'd have to go find it. don't even know where my card reader is. Oh, there's my card reader. Check this out. This is RC drifting. And it looks like Bunking Bunk.
03:28:07
Speaker
This looks like so much fun. but they They have a gyro built into them. The problem is, one these is like $400. The
03:28:16
Speaker
the upkeep is $400? That's not bad. no No, that's to buy it. Oh, okay. upkeep The upkeep is different. Because, of course, modification, lights, and all that stuff. the If you want a really good one, they're like $1,000. Okay.
03:28:31
Speaker
But there's competition you. Oh, shit. That's a cool. like Right? and Yeah. there's There's one I saw where i want to find the video and see if I can edit it so I can put Blaze on the vehicle. It's a fan.
03:28:48
Speaker
Thrifting. Like, if you if you shot that at the right angle and you changed the lighting, that almost would make it look like it was real cars. Oh, right. Well, there's that video. There's videos out there.
03:29:00
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Well, there's really fine videos of it. For a few minutes before I looked at the background, i thought it was real cars, and I'm like, oh, wait, that that's really tiny cars. if that's oh Have you seen the the RC shows in Germany?
03:29:14
Speaker
no No, I usually like the show shows in Germany. Yeah, I get that. No, these guys don't look around. Let me what you find. Sky porn's a big thing in Germany, in case anybody knows.
03:29:27
Speaker
What did he What?
03:29:30
Speaker
case nobody knows, scat porn is a big thing in Germany, apparently. Oh, boy. Look at this. These guys don't mess around, man. If you don't know what scat porn is, look up three Two Girls in a Cup.
03:29:43
Speaker
yeah Oh, God. these guys don is that what Is that what that's considered? Scat? Yeah, anything to do with poop.
03:29:54
Speaker
That's poop porn. But yeah, these this is the biggest RC show in the world. Okay, I would love i would love to see a bunch of RC fucking 18-wheelers drifting around that track with their trailers on. Right? Right.
03:30:10
Speaker
Fuck yeah. I had to drop it for the end. Is RC Demolition Derby a thing? Because if not, it needs don't see why not. Oh, that would be cool too. Fuck yeah. These guys do boring constructions. Let's just go fuck shit up.
03:30:24
Speaker
Oh, damn. Transformers. It's the construction bots. These guys don't fuck around. They take the stuff super serious. Okay, at this point, you're just a child at a big playground.
03:30:36
Speaker
and Exactly. And I want to play. Can you imagine having that in your sandbox as a kid? Holy shit. Well, did that story. I would fuck with it. I'd fuck with it. I did that story a while back.
03:30:48
Speaker
in in tank know If that tank doesn't actually fire... They have ones that shoot paintballs. They have ones that paintballs. Okay, that's cool. got a hot roll how Where do I get one of these? How much does it cost? Battle tanks, dude. I there no remove that i will sell blood and semen to save up for one of them.
03:31:09
Speaker
No, there's a there's a... I can't remember what it is. Hold on. yeah this
03:31:18
Speaker
Drifting 18 wheelers. Nice. So there's a place.
03:31:26
Speaker
what was that Sylvester Stallone movie with the 18 wheeler and the there? It was all about arm wrestling, too. Yeah. Yeah. who whoa who was Over the top.
03:31:38
Speaker
Yes. Over the top is an excellent movie. Such a stupid fucking movie. Nobody likes you. It's like like stupid 80s cheese movies. It's a stupid concept.
03:31:50
Speaker
You have to be into fucking beefcakes and 18-wheelers.
03:32:01
Speaker
yeah There is a and I'm trying to find the video. Yeah. oh yeah There's a video. I do remember watching. I liked it when I first saw it. Oh, yeah. Fuck yeah. It was good, but it was still cheesy. I go to watch it now. I'm like, what is this crap?
03:32:16
Speaker
Yeah. There's so many movies like that that do not hold up But you know what? going Okay. So... Damn.
03:32:27
Speaker
Y'all hear that? i so Yeah. Satan is pissed off at you, bro. You need to fucking right some wrongs or something. Oh, shit. I... am I forgot what I was going to say. Anyway, go ahead.
03:32:42
Speaker
So there's a place. Zeus coming for your ass. I remember what i was going to say. So I'm getting, I'm i'm setting up trivia questions for 28th. and it's all action movies from the eighties, nineties and early aughts.
03:32:54
Speaker
And I'm going through like 1985. I'm sitting there, I'm using this because this is one year I was going through. There was like three Jackie Chan movies, a couple of Sylvester Stallone movies, like three Chuck Norris movies.
03:33:05
Speaker
And I'm like, out of all those movies they made in that one year, like two of them are garbage. One might be okay. Right. Cause they were throwing so much fucking action movies at the wall. It's like, we'll see what sticks.
03:33:17
Speaker
I kind of wish Hollywood was still like that though. Well, that's how they're doing with Marvel movies nowadays. They just fucking throw them. This is the place in Germany are where where you actually... They have these tanks and they shoot paintballs and you drive around and shoot each other.
03:33:33
Speaker
That would be fun as shit. But how how fast or how slow... They're not very fast. theyre not very fast see that would I would hate that. I would find that so boring.
03:33:44
Speaker
I'd find that so fucking boring. You're just sitting there like...
03:33:48
Speaker
But they do have RC tanks that do shoot. It builds anticipation that you're turning. where Oh, God. It's coming up. It's coming up. It's coming up. Okay, fire. What up? What up? What up? What up? What up?
03:34:00
Speaker
Have you ever seen the movie Tank? G2K, what's up, bro? You ever seen the movie Tank with James Garner? No. Who's James Garner? James Garner. I don't know who that is, and I don't know i should know who that is. It sounds familiar. You should. James Garner is an ex-alive.
03:34:15
Speaker
He played the original Maverick. like Well, you thought those headphones were good ideas. No, we can't trust you. Oh, he was in the Mel Gibson Maverick as the old guy. Yes, he was. it was on an average yeah But he was also the old man that read the story as a notebook.
03:34:30
Speaker
Anyways, in the, I want to say the 80s, there's a movie called Tag that stars, uh, James Garner is the dad and he owns a tank. He's a general.
03:34:43
Speaker
He bought a Sherman tank. Just because you're general doesn't mean you get to keep the tank when you retire. No, no, no. Actually, he works on base. You can buy because it's a Sherman tank.
03:34:57
Speaker
It's not used by the military anymore. and You could buy it at government auction. so he bought but i think I think somebody bought like buy i think somebody like bought old fucking aircraft parts one time and built a whole fucking jet.
03:35:08
Speaker
that way Oh, yeah. do There's a guy on YouTube building one now. You guys know, Jeff probably knows what Dr. Mo is, or DRMO. In the military, when old equipment would be at the end of their service life, they get it's like DRMO. It's like a junkyard.
03:35:23
Speaker
They take them out there, they process them through, and then they would hold like those government auctions. That's usually where they come from, DRMO. I forgot what it stood for. It was an acronym. We just talked called it Dr. Mo.
03:35:34
Speaker
But some dude, and this was why, this was decades ago, ended up buying parts through a bunch of different DRMOs and built himself an aircraft. Like, I i think that's true. i could be totally wrong.
03:35:48
Speaker
That could have been a rumor. But now that I say that, it does seem kind of far-fetched. No, there's there's tons of government auctions where you can buy. I'm actually... I'm looking this shit up now.
03:36:00
Speaker
Well, you know what's weird is a few years ago there was a big thing in the news because a lot of decommissioned military stuff like tanks and all that was being given to like different police forces around the country. It's like, why does a police force need a fucking tank? That's not... Well, no, but like government officers can buy old top cars.
03:36:19
Speaker
You can buy Humvees. You know, repossessed things from drug dealers. There's a Humvee that's for sale. Yep. And there's a couple of YouTubers that have bought Humvees. The guys from Grind Hard Plumbing, they they build all these weird vehicles.
03:36:35
Speaker
They bought a Humvee, and then they LS swapped it and supercharged it. And it it does like 150 miles an hour. and is fucking lo That's crazy. And they've got the two-door pickup version.
03:36:48
Speaker
the the two door pickup version And they're, oh, oh do you gotta see this thing. It's awesome. 150 miles with a big ass beast like that. Holy shit. I'm starting to think that story isn't true. going to to look it up.
03:37:05
Speaker
Yeah, I'm going to. You imagine the whole thing, Blaze. It's possible, man. could be a Mandela. None of this is true, Blaze. No, but you got to remember, things like that get blown way out of proportion.
03:37:17
Speaker
Like he brought it. Yeah. Well, I heard the story like when I was in my 20s. So, I mean, I believe a um lot of stupid shit. So, it was just a few years ago, Blaze?
03:37:30
Speaker
Yeah, in my 20s a few years ago. Absolutely, yeah. yeah This is the Hummer they LS swapped, but they they build shit like this. Oh.
03:37:41
Speaker
And they built this. This is completely one-off. That looks so nice. I think I saw that in a Star Wars movie. I think it's an ICF R1. Yeah, that's the Batman outaky one.
03:37:55
Speaker
That's the one with fucking Heath Ledger before he died. Basically, that's what it is. But it's worth it's running 44-inch tight. What fucking engine is on that thing? I think it's a Ninja 900. Yeah.
03:38:08
Speaker
no Grind hard plumbing, dude. They don't fuck around, boy. Like they built some really wicked shit. This is the electric. I don't know, man. That's a lot of, that's a lot to push with the 900.
03:38:22
Speaker
They've broken it like nine times, dude. This is the shopping cart. They've broken. They built a shopping cart. And it's running a thousand CC motorcycle engine.
03:38:35
Speaker
but I built watched this video recently on YouTube where some dude went to Home Depot, not Home Depot, but Harbor Freight. and by they're like They gave themselves a challenge. We're going build go-kart out of just shit they can buy at Harbor Freight.
03:38:48
Speaker
They did it too. ah These guys, they they they started the trend of taking the Barbie vehicles and putting motors on them and making them This is the mini Jeep that started out so like this? So here's something. This is something I learned recently on this note.
03:39:05
Speaker
Apparently, there is racing circuits for power wheels. Like you can sign. You can take your kid's power wheels. What? Enter your kid. No. And their power wheels into racing circuit. You've never seen the power wheel drag racing? Just, dude, think think old school soapbox racing.
03:39:20
Speaker
But like update with power wheel. Look that shit up. Power wheel is racing. Fuck yeah. yeah. I gotta see this. I just, I heard about it. I didn't actually look in- Power Wheels drag racing, dude. Fuck.
03:39:32
Speaker
Hell yeah. Power Wheels drag racing. And then then you got the adult version
03:39:38
Speaker
where they put gas engines on them. There's Power Wheel racing.
03:39:46
Speaker
And they they've literally put like, you know, 50cc or 100cc motors on them. There's the Power Wheel drag racing.
03:39:56
Speaker
There's gotta be a video dude. Oh yeah. I want to see a video man. Yeah. little yeah know
03:40:05
Speaker
Check out these little kids, man. Now, what adults do they modify them. Who's letting their fucking it? I'm just going to say, this definitely does. You know what? This definitely is a white thing to do. I'm just looking at the crowd. well And this is pretty mayo.
03:40:20
Speaker
This is pretty mayo. Awful lot of honkies up there. when you there says Who says white people ain't got culture? Come on. Look at this. When you swap the battery of one of these power wheels to like a 24 volt instead of 12,
03:40:34
Speaker
You increase the horsepower by triple it. They have a six-volt battery. What are you talking about instead of 12? but Right. Those are little hobby six-volt batteries, man. Check this out. Look at it. But throwing a bigger battery in there.
03:40:49
Speaker
Oh, fuck. They're going. Putting a bigger battery in there doesn't make them go faster. No. Yeah. no yeah not alone Not only that, the weight alone would fucking make that front end flip over almost. No, no, no, no.
03:41:02
Speaker
Because you used the... Hold on. They had to have repositioned the motor. and They had have modified it other than putting a battery in it. If that makes sense. It's because they're fucking flying. Those are like go-karts.
03:41:18
Speaker
Yeah, they're quick. Yeah. How to modify a power wheel. There's got to be more than just putting up car battery. No, they don't use car It doesn't work like that, Tim Allen. I'm sorry. Right here.
03:41:33
Speaker
You use a like the a drill battery.
03:41:37
Speaker
You use a what? A drill battery? Yeah, the 24-volt drill batteries. This guy, he usually he uses a drill battery and he shows like because it ups the ante, so to speak.
03:41:50
Speaker
and course shot my best And more power to the motor. Look at what? Like he damn near flips it on himself. I kind of want to go get a power wheels and do this just for myself.
03:42:02
Speaker
Right? I want you to. This kid needs lessons on how to drive though. yeah You just up the average. Right into the fucking thing. Up the average. That kid needs a helmet. I'm just saying. It came out of nowhere. i didn't see it coming.
03:42:19
Speaker
You up the average of this sucker and it just scoops. The funny thing is it's probably the mall holding the camera. Oh, this guy's actually saying famous. Or the dad's best friend.
03:42:32
Speaker
Right, yeah yeah. But yeah, you can modify this thing to make it fucking quick. I wanted to see the kid fly into the fucking tree or some shit. Why'd you stop it? You ruined everything. Look up look at Power Wheel Racing Gone Wrong.
03:42:47
Speaker
Yeah. that is fuck That's the shit I want to see. ah This is 18 to 24 volt. Look at them. I like the speed racer helmet. I want to see some parachutes come out the back of these bitches. Calm down, please.
03:43:02
Speaker
ah Okay, hold on I want to see some crashing. in Power wheels racing along. i want to see a fiery crash particles and kid bodies thrown everywhere.
Vehicle Modifications & Extreme Sports
03:43:14
Speaker
joking.
03:43:15
Speaker
Look, these are these are the adults playing.
03:43:21
Speaker
Oh, yeah. I'm sure all they did was put a new battery in that. Oh, no. These are all heavily modified. They basically take a four-wheelers and body on it. No. You take your fucking ride-on lawnmower. You take the fucking body off that and do a power wheel. so That one's definitely 8D batteries pumped into that. bigger Is that a blender? Yeah, it was a blender. Is that a blender? Yeah. Margarita's on the go. Fuck that.
03:43:47
Speaker
Hey, don't drink and drive. Don't drink and drive. Stupid ad. What is this? It's the ad. Oh. Yeah, look at that.
03:44:01
Speaker
Okay, I'm not mad at that. Okay. i'm in ah But these guys these guys are like genius. I live in Kentucky. I should be able to find this close to me if I look hard enough. i'm sure I would think so. What else are you going to do? This looks like a Kentucky thing to do. It looks very Kentucky-ish.
03:44:20
Speaker
Agreed. Definitely Texas. It does look like fun. ah Here we go. Is he dancing with the flag? What's he doing? Check your flag, final lap. He's a backup dancer for Britney Spears. smart The Barbie Jeep one.
03:44:35
Speaker
Hell yeah. I'm a Barbie Jeep in a drag race. Look, this one's been bonafide. I'm going to see if they got it running.
03:44:48
Speaker
That bitch looks like it should have a parachute on it. I'm just saying. If it's got a stabilizer wheel on the back to make sure that bitch don't flip over. thats Oh, that's what that's for?
03:45:00
Speaker
I think that is a parachute, buddy. I don't know if it's functional. No way. That's a parachute. It wouldn't surprise me. That's a parachute.
03:45:11
Speaker
He's talking about it, but can't hear him. That's because I muted it. because Asshole. He's got to set up for 36 points. I'm so excited for the goddamn parachutes.
03:45:25
Speaker
Wow. That shit's got a parachute on it. Okay, I'm happy now. I gotta see this shit run, though. That's what I'm trying to find. Yeah, I want to see one of them actually bust the parachute out to slow down.
03:45:38
Speaker
I'm sorry, but if you got a power wheels with a parachute, you you better hope it works or you're going to die. Because it seems like those are your only options in a situation like that. Have you seen the downhill? Oh, you got to see this. Hold on.
03:45:52
Speaker
No, parachute. Power wheels downhill.
03:45:56
Speaker
No, these are guys that literally just ride fucking power wheels with no motor. They coast downhill. want to see power wheel hill climbs. That's what I want to see. They don't have that. Check this These just ride down the hill.
03:46:12
Speaker
Oh, I've seen these before. And they fucking eat shit so hard. they eat They eat it, dude. Check this out. They eat it so fucking hard. That looks like fucking fog, dude.
03:46:26
Speaker
I'm fucking in. does. It does. Oh, shit. Yeah, these are funny. I definitely need some Novocaine before I go down. Something to numb the pain. Because once you hit that fucking... You were just talking about white pigs to do.
03:46:41
Speaker
Oh, everybody in there is very white. I don't care what age you are. You're walking away from this with aches and pains because these motherfuckers just. The wheel look like about him in the back of the head. Yeah, no shit.
03:46:54
Speaker
You got to remember, you can buy used power wheels for like eight You see the General Lee pickup truck in the back? I do. And I want it. Oh, shit. Yeah, I didn't notice that at first.
03:47:04
Speaker
Well, what's up, Trailer Park hooker? Oh, yeah hurt you get her if you win. You make it all the way the bottom. this This channel shows a lot of those chicks. I got some extra cords for the laundry machine.
03:47:16
Speaker
Right? Look, here it goes. Oh, he's going to eat it. He's going to eat it. He's running away from it. He's going to eat him. He's like, don't let it hit me. This looks like fucking fun, dude.
03:47:29
Speaker
It's all fun games until fucking... What? You got to get across the line for time. ah you just turn around and pick it up and... What's see what's the point? Fastest time down the hill?
03:47:44
Speaker
They let him coast, man. It's just downhill. I bet those things are empty inside. I bet they gutted him out. Oh, yeah, they're gutted. Oh, that guy, that was pretty smooth right there. That guy's a smooth operator. Holy shit.
03:48:00
Speaker
Because he did the... Like, I am so in. When do we leave? He just said, oh, damn! He picked up early on. He didn't even make it very far.
03:48:12
Speaker
No fiery crashes, but I'm still happy. Look, he's trying to get across the line. That's all it matters. See, he did it 1325 seconds. The good ones is when they're like three-fourths the way down, so they've picked up enough steam, and then they eat shit, then it really bounces all over. Oh, oh, oh, oh.
03:48:30
Speaker
Dude, I bet his ass hurts, too. He was dragging that thing for minute. He's not walking tomorrow. No, you's not going to sit down one. I would be so fucking hammered that right afterwards I could take on Holyfield and not to feel it.
03:48:44
Speaker
Let's see. Power wheel racing here. That was 11 seconds. like This looks like one. I could actually watch this for like three hours. guy three hours you' seen the guys do... That fucker, he was terrible. Like two feet out of the gate, he was already sideways and rolling.
03:49:01
Speaker
Have you seen the cheese run? Downhill cheese. cheese No. The fuck is the cheese run? ah you're infer I've seen the people that run downhill the thing and then... Chasing the cheese?
03:49:15
Speaker
I like watching. I don't know what they're chasing, but they're running downhill and they don't do well. jerk bike Dirt bike hill climbs? Those are crazy. I do too. Or Harley-Davidson hill climbs? Yeah.
03:49:27
Speaker
now This is never he's called the cheese chase. They roll a wheel of cheese down a hill and people run down the hill to chase it. Oh, yeah, that's what I'm talking about. I had no idea it had anything to do with cheese. I've just seen they eat. Look at how fucking they're bouncing. They just eat it, dude.
03:49:44
Speaker
Like, so hard. It's so funny. It's absolutely I no idea there was anything to do with cheese. I thought it was all racing down now. Yeah, rolling countryside hills down in Gloucestershire, England. Wow.
03:49:55
Speaker
People have died at those things. Oh, yeah. People died at those, yeah. Some of those people have to be paralyzed, have to have brain damage, because they fucking bounce. They fucking bounce. Look at that. Yeah. Look at that kid. Oh. Oh, he's cartwheeling on his face. ah um i' I've made terrible life decisions. Some of them are like, well, it sounded fun before I started doing it. Oh, my God. They hit it so hard, too.
03:50:25
Speaker
Oh, yes. Now it comes to cheese. What percentage of them do you think end with concussions? It's got be at least 50%. 90%. Yeah, it's got to be up there. That dude, I'm fucking right. god They're just ragdolling it.
03:50:43
Speaker
As a kid, have you guys ever went to a top a hill and just rolled down just for the hell of a day? Oh, yeah. That's how it started. You get fucked up. Gravity, you pick up steam too. Oh, my God. you just bow What country is this in? This is England.
03:50:57
Speaker
Oh, okay. That's why we won the war. Yeah. this wrongs like this But once again, this is a very white thing to do. Of course is.
03:51:07
Speaker
Most of the stupidest shit in life is white people just like, I'm bored. Let's see what happens. let's Here we go. This is 2014. Damn! That's a steep fucking hill, too. The one dude was sliding down on his ass and still ended up bouncing all over.
03:51:22
Speaker
Damn! god It almost looks fake because of how hard this ground's a trampoline. It it looks like that. The winner gets the cheese. he's like He's having conversation. He beat the cheese down.
03:51:38
Speaker
He just beat the cheese down. He's alternating before between bouncing on his ass and his head, so he ain't going shit right or think right for at least a month. That's my cheese, Will. She's got a broken arm afterwards.
03:51:51
Speaker
Look at that dude ragdoll, man. if you If you win and get that cheese, man, it's all worth it. That dude's head playing like three times in a row. that the whole thing is to chase the cheese? like you have to go Yeah, the first person down gets the cheese.
03:52:05
Speaker
Oh, God. There's no cheese on earth good enough for me to do that. that's and i'm I'm a big fan of cheese, but fuck that. yeah It looks like fun, though. It's fun to watch.
03:52:17
Speaker
I definitely expect it. But I'm so in. Here's another one. Thrills and skills. To be honest, that's exactly what Biden looked like every time he was on stairs. So, you know.
03:52:27
Speaker
Fat. If you were to roll down a cheese wheel right in front of him. Oh, man. Can do the red shirt? Imagine. Imagine the broken bones. Oh, that's the crazy shit too when they collide because they're all bouncing around together like fucking ping pong balls. I'm looking up how many people have died from the cheese wheel racing.
03:52:51
Speaker
and It's a cheese wheel chase. Cheese wheel chase. Hashtag deaths. It's the 2024 cheese rolls. Cheese.
03:53:01
Speaker
it's just It's a good thing I had that had those bumps on the J and the S so can type real quick. Asshole. I am so this. Blaze, big bring it back. Oh, my God. Check this out. No one has ever been killed.
03:53:19
Speaker
Well, yeah, but how many of them are fucking vegetables when they're done? No one has ever been killed during a cheese wheel chase. However, there has been injuries and incidences during the event, including being struck by lightning and broken bones.
03:53:33
Speaker
Somebody's been struck by lightning doing this. Not only do you hit your ass beat by a hill? No God hates you if he's striking you as you're rolling down the hill. Nobody's died.
03:53:46
Speaker
They've been hit by lightning, but still nobody died. That is so fucked. There's a group of people at the bottom of the hill to catch you as you fall down the hill. Cheese wheel racing has got to be the safest sport ever. no helmet required.
03:54:00
Speaker
Yeah, it's clear. But leave the lightning pole. You've got have a little bit tism. You've got to have a tism. How many broken bones? It did say there was there was lots of broken bones. A lot of injuries, no deaths.
03:54:14
Speaker
Look, see the people back there catching?
03:54:19
Speaker
that Go for the cheese. Stay for the concussion. ah There's a non-white doing it. ah He's limping now. Jesus Christ. i don't know oh my god We were just saying this is very white sports. That black noob just got fucked up.
03:54:32
Speaker
Not the words I would have picked. so little That dude, hold off the camera. But this is this is coming from powder, so any other white person is probably... Right? yeah you yeah and You are all dark skinned to me. I'm in a class of my own. Yeah.
03:54:51
Speaker
they got They got a powder class. It's a foothill. Dude, I just hate it. Look at the dude with Spongebob shirt on. Watch him.
03:55:02
Speaker
I was just thinking maybe James Otto and MK2000 were the same person. i was like, damn, y'all fucking wrote the same shit.
03:55:12
Speaker
Look at him. He's all proud of himself. I won the cheese. Dude, it's not worth Hey, man, if you if you got the balls to go and do that and you win the cheese, you better be proud of yourself. If not, you've wasted your time. When I move to Europe, I might do this.
03:55:28
Speaker
Okay, but okay I feel bad for everybody else. You go through that and you don't win anything. You just did it. po Like this guy right here, you look at him and he just screams, cheese will chase winner.
03:55:41
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, he's athletic. As opposed to Spider-Man in our background. I'm just saying, just his look says... Wait, what does athleticism have to do with gravity just fucking you in the face? Because he's used to it.
03:55:56
Speaker
You can't do this when you're my size, when you're Glick size. I'm just saying. you know the heavy The heavier you are, the faster you're going to fall. Because gravity works on you harder. Is that a chick?
03:56:08
Speaker
It's a ragdoll now. That's an absolute rag doll. It's Andy. It's Andy. it's bragging Okay, so nobody's died, but that person's probably going to be on life support for the next six months. Yeah, no one's died just yet. yeah She just tried to stand up.
03:56:29
Speaker
I know. like What was that about? you just got You just got to tuck and roll and try to protect your head. This is genius. Look her. She won the cheese. now Now, if you said something like, hey, there's pound of free weed at the bottom that hill, you might convince me to do something like I'm saying start the Oregon- I'm just saying I wouldn't do it for cheese.
03:56:52
Speaker
Yeah, mean it's- That cheese is probably worth like a thousand bucks.
03:56:58
Speaker
Gentlemen, I'll be back. Copy that. This is cheap. What's with the the red and the blue stripe on there, too? Oh, no, they wrap it so it's edible afterwards.
03:57:13
Speaker
So they they wrap it in a paper and that and then they roll it down. I'm just saying, this is how genius. How long has that been going on? Oh, well, they showed that in the first video we were watching.
03:57:24
Speaker
They were showing that it was a thing back in the like the forty s
03:57:31
Speaker
You see, this is where evolution is important. We should grow out of that type of shit. You kind need gotta learn to evolve, people. You can't... This is definitely a young person's sport. This is not something we in our 40s should try. Can you imagine? kid No, no, no. They should make an old version of it and everybody's in the yellow shirt. Start off in wheelchair. Oh, fuck. it He got some air on some of them bounces. Yeah, he did.
03:57:54
Speaker
Look, he took down the fucking person trying to catch him. That's how much momentum he had built up. I don't want to be the guy catching him. No, good not at all. He just have knocked that dude the fuck out. Dude, you get hit hard enough, you're going to break your fucking shin or your knee is going to be fucking hyperextended. Look how steep that is.
03:58:15
Speaker
No, for real. like That is so steep. It doesn't look that steep when you're looking from the bottom, but look at that cheese go. Oh, man. Yeah, it's bouncing just like everybody else.
03:58:26
Speaker
That dude in the blue. Watch him. he That dude in the blue. Yeah, he did. I give him props, though. He stayed on his feet for a long time. He did.
03:58:37
Speaker
You know what? it it It would be who of you to just roll up into a ball. I would. Yeah, I would almost just want to somersault and just protect yourself. Or lay on your side and roll over, you know? Yeah.
03:58:48
Speaker
but You know it's coming. Don't even try to start on your feet. Pretend you're a hot dog. Yes. just this Is that dude wearing a diaper? Pretend you're an omelet and you really want that add cheese.
03:59:01
Speaker
yeah This chicken to purple is going down. on her what scooting on her ass that's how i can imagine like the different techniques okay i'm um i'm gonna run down no i'm gonna scoot down no i'm just going full fucking right that's i know as we're watching this i'm just strategizing how would i would do i'd me and jeff were talking i would be the hot dog thing i'd just lay down and i was roll like a log right yeah i think i think the role of in a ball and hope for the best That was a weak sauce.
03:59:33
Speaker
like Everybody just kind of rode down their ass, which seems to be the safest way. See, there's a hot dog. Right there, they almost – okay, I've seen a couple of them where like people in mid-bounce bash into each other.
03:59:48
Speaker
That's even worse. Oh, fuck, you're plowing into somebody that can't – Hello, Arkansas. You can't stop the momentum. What Arky? This just like fun. I want to go and watch this. I don't know if I want to – I would never compete, but I would definitely. I would love to be there live, though.
04:00:04
Speaker
That's so steep. I just want to say real quick, um I know I forgot Shaka was streaming this to his channel. Again, thank you, Shaka. We appreciate this. If anybody wants to give our network a little follow.
04:00:17
Speaker
I keep pointing. Awesome. Everybody like and subscribe. Don't be a bunch of assholes. Otherwise, we're pushing down this hill. Right? i don't know and that's something I hate asking that, though.
04:00:28
Speaker
and do do so You just got to do it. You just got to do it. Just got to do it if we got to build those numbers. Just like they got to get to the bottom of that hill, guys. They're just doing it. Do you do think that if we were all on the top of the hill, Glick would just push us down?
04:00:43
Speaker
Oh, for sure. 100%. So I was thinking about that. It's one of those situations like tuck and roll, Grandma. Whoosh. Grandma. You're such an asshole.
04:00:54
Speaker
Okay, look at dude in the polo shirt. Watch him, watch him. Here he goes. I every one of those motherfuckers are the biggest grilled. Oh my god. Oh shit, that guy almost had it.
04:01:05
Speaker
Oh, there he goes. There he goes. There he goes. There's my winner. I called it. He's like, yeah. And then he eats shit right after. He did. He almost ran the entire thing. I was impressed.
04:01:17
Speaker
I know. I was rooting for the dude. Look, it's Chaka.
04:01:22
Speaker
I just saw a bald guy.
04:01:26
Speaker
wish he glicked as shit. ah Right? Just a big ball of fur. Yeah. Well, you know, Jeff, your your head your headphones would protect you. You wouldn't get no brain Right? mean, I glow all the way down.
04:01:39
Speaker
That way I can do it at night.
04:01:43
Speaker
Oh, can you imagine doing this at night? Where everybody wears, like, the the the little neon... Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to glow a little bit. That'd be dope.
04:01:54
Speaker
I'd be afraid, being a specter, that I'd get hit in the head with the fucking cheese. No shit, that cheese gets fucking moving too. Yeah, you're right. It's like a projectile. You better get the fuck.
04:02:05
Speaker
If that cheese hits you full force when it gets to bottom. I wonder how much that cheese is worth. That's why i said it's got to be worth a pretty penny because cheese is not cheap. Okay, it's probably not worth that much. I think you're overestimating anything. anything It's cheese, man.
04:02:21
Speaker
I mean, don't get me wrong. What kind of cheese is it anyway? 200. Okay, so... Oh, oh, oh. It tripped over him. They both ate shit. Oh, no. that's just That's just like... I guess... So a cheese wheel on average is from 50 to 200 bucks.
04:02:37
Speaker
So I'm assuming if people running after this cheese wheel, probably about 200 bucks. Or why would you run after a cheese wheel? Still not worth it for 200 bucks. Yeah, 200 bucks, dude. Like 200 bucks to buy me a fucking ounce of decent weed.
04:02:49
Speaker
know what I mean? going to invent the weed roll. I'm going to invent the weed roll. I could literally watch this the rest of the night until I go to bed. People have already discovered.
04:03:04
Speaker
People have already invented the weed roll. it's called a joint. You roll your weed. No, I'm just saying we make a ah ah weed roll that looks like that wheel of cheese. We get a bunch of stoners to roll down the hill after it.
04:03:16
Speaker
You really think a bunch of stoners are going to do that? yeah Exactly. Jedi knows. We'll sit there and watch the weed go down. We'll wait until it gets, and then we'll all walk down and share it.
04:03:29
Speaker
If anything, you'll be walking and not realizing that there's a steep hill, and then the stoner will fall down the but it's not after any cheese. It's by accident, 100%. Yeah. This is what... yeah there's this is what becomes
04:03:45
Speaker
So I found, I'm trying to find. So Jeff, Jeff, remember last night we were watching that movie and that dude's like beef, beef. So Mike, Mike, thanks for joining, but we were watching a movie last night on Nonsense and Chill. It was a fan made movie with Mad Max, Glory, or Hope and Glory.
04:04:04
Speaker
There was a character in there that would say beef, beef or or nice, nice, nice, nice. is We called him the douche, douche. Look at how you start these bikes.
04:04:15
Speaker
yep these are These are hill climbs. Oh, these are hill climbs. Fuck yeah, love hill climbs. These guys are nuts. I've never watched... I wanted never want to do this. but should yeah i would i would This is something I would do.
04:04:27
Speaker
Absolutely. This shit's nuts. You're talking a thousand cc's. These tires are these are paddle tires to begin with. And of course, it's it's a stretched...
04:04:40
Speaker
Well, this that was true. yeah Swing arm. Okay. It's just crazy. Because people have gotten hurt bikes. Yeah. I want to see they section off the same hill. Some people are chasing cheese on one side. The other people are driving up on the other. No, no, no. the same hill.
04:04:57
Speaker
That's what I'm saying. You section it off. You have like you have the cutoff. No. yeah you have appeal As you roll down, you got guys rolling up. I'm just saying. Oh, that sounds more dangerous. Make it dangerous, dude.
04:05:10
Speaker
Let's have some fun with it. Let's do it. So you said you've never seen these. So earlier when I said I'd like to see some hill climbing power wheels, this is what was talking about. Right.
04:05:22
Speaker
Look at but scar so Why did they just jump off and let their bike roll downhill? So this is a tamer hill. There's some hills that are more steep than this where have people with ropes and nets catching bikes so they don't go and hurt the people down the bottom.
04:05:40
Speaker
Interesting. And then you got some that are there're there're Harley Davidson hill climbs with all sportsters. These sportssters are fucking dirt bike out, swing on, all that shit.
04:05:55
Speaker
It's fucking nuts.
04:06:00
Speaker
I don't think so. namocha You know, you're in Mexico. Como. I think it's the same one. Yeah, look.
04:06:13
Speaker
yeah look You don't want to hang on. That just tossed that dude like he Oh, fuck. You can see how steep that hill is. i bet I bet your fucking buddies love doing it, too. That shit's fun as fuck. It's it looks it's just adrenaline rushing, man.
04:06:31
Speaker
This is the kind of motorsport I want to do.
04:06:38
Speaker
I'm trying to find a the... Yeah, here you go. This is... okay when you stay the rock are you when you When you say the rock bounce, you're talking about the ones that like slow crawl? like No, rock bounce is a whole other animal. So rock bounce, hold on, you got to see this. because i mean I've seen like rock climbing with vehicles and it's like this slow thing. No, no, no.
04:07:03
Speaker
These boys don't. oh Oh. Basically, he'll climb with a four-wheeler. Oh, okay. Yeah, these boys don't fuck around. This isn't exactly what I was thinking, but kind of similar, yeah. See, the only problem I have i have with this...
04:07:22
Speaker
Death? Oh, shit. Never mind. Yeah, these boys... You're talking like 800, 900 horsepower? Yeah. In a solid steel cage, boy.
04:07:35
Speaker
And whoever gets the top fastest wins. i was seeing like I was thinking like rock climbing with with jeeps and shit. people fucking That's called rock crawling. Rock crawling. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. this Rock crawling is something you do on the weekend.
04:07:50
Speaker
This is something you do for sport. rock Rock climbing is sport, too. What are you talking about? Well, rock climbing. Did you know badminton is a recognized sport? Shit ping pong is, too, man. No.
04:08:05
Speaker
no it's not it's not it's It's not a sport unless you can get hurt. I'm sorry. like Chess is not a fucking sport. It's a game.
04:08:14
Speaker
I agree. i This is a sport. You can pretty much die
04:08:20
Speaker
much die. I'm actually still shocked that nobody's ever died from that i have the chi chase chase.
04:08:29
Speaker
You said Harley Hillflam? Yeah, I Harley Hillflam. yeah do heart single violence yeah
04:08:40
Speaker
There's different ones Usually those are some ones Like crazy ones I've seen though I seriously need to get the YouTube premium What?
04:08:51
Speaker
I said I need to get the YouTube premium There you go I used to have it I think we have it on the Nonsensical Network i just um i don't i don't't think i don't think I don't think we do I know we used to. That's on a Harley Davidson, dude.
04:09:08
Speaker
That's a hill. Yeah. I'd be into this. I think this would be fun. I just, whatever you do, don't tell my wife we're going to try it. The only thing is, is if you go out, I don't know how the drop is, the drop off is on the right hand side of that trail, but I mean,
04:09:29
Speaker
It's dope. Have you seen the downhill BMX, or not BMX, the downhill mountain bike racing? Have you seen this? Yes, I've seen, yes, yes.
04:09:40
Speaker
That shit's nuts.
04:09:45
Speaker
Mountain bike. I love this. Dude, Harley-Davidson climbs are awesome. I just, like, a lot of people, like, for years have, like, gives Harley-Davidson sports-sters, like,
04:09:59
Speaker
A lot of fucking... Fuck you! don't fuck you i mean oh i have silly yeah when do we leave? no oh i have seen this do no i will lying in rap i so fucking dude my my My fear of heights would get to me and I would die. I would too i shit myself the entire time. You look off left or right and it's like you're going to die if you fall. What the hell? These guys are pros. I tried it one time on a Yamaha Warrior four-wheeler.
04:10:29
Speaker
It did work out well. You mean it didn't work out well? I'm just saying. That is insane, bro. I'm in. Fuck you. I'm in.
04:10:42
Speaker
You know what? I don't think I've ever seen nitrous on a street bike motor. I have. Oh, that just sounds fucking stupid crazy. It's wicked. It's wicked. Okay, I know it.
04:10:56
Speaker
Fuck Have you seen a fucking flip?
04:11:00
Speaker
Have you seen mountain bikes? That's what I thought you meant, Mike. Didn't. ah That shit fucks me up, too. Have you seen like mountain bikes fucking do those trails like that? But they're even skinnier.
04:11:12
Speaker
um It's just a mountain bike and you're literally walking over a fucking piece of sand with the width of a fucking two by four. I want this. I want to do this. This is in Brazil.
04:11:24
Speaker
And it's urban downhill. Yeah, no shit. Dirt bike or BMX? It's on a mountain bike. Mountain bike, okay. That's what I mean. I think it's a little bit of both. Riding downstairs and shit.
04:11:37
Speaker
But like they... Nope. Hand of our wits, dude. I'm fucking in. I'm gonna die, but I'm in. And we never saw Jeff again. Hashtag fucking worth it. He went out a fucking champion.
04:11:56
Speaker
He was revered as a god.
04:12:01
Speaker
I have a buddy of mine that does this. It wasn't mine. That's mine. I shoot for my baby. my It's my furnace kicking on. Oh, okay. I was like, man, who's running their AC right now? I was like, gotta be chill. No, that's my that's my furnace, dude. That shit is like 30 years old, and this she's a beast.
04:12:20
Speaker
She's a beast. that Sounds like it. It's like Satan's asshole firing up. Never lets us down. Always keeps the house warm. Mm-hmm.
04:12:31
Speaker
Oh, there's here's one they do it in the snow.
04:12:39
Speaker
What do you... Oh, here it is. Check this out. Oh, shit.
04:12:47
Speaker
Look up Extreme Mountain Biking next.
04:12:53
Speaker
Extreme Mountain Biking? Yeah.
04:12:58
Speaker
Oh, sorry. I use my text to talk, so i don't have to spell.
04:13:02
Speaker
fucking christ Hey, it's a beautiful thing. Windows h baby. You hit that and speak it. Oh, man. I watched one of these on ESPN2 or something like that, and the dude's chain broke, and he still won.
04:13:19
Speaker
I mean, I'm not going to lie. There's times I'm like, oh, man, how do I spell this word? like I'll ask my Alexa device. Like, earlier, I was trying to fucking remember how to spell spell. I was trying to remember how to spell superfluous, and it just escaped me at the because I don't use that word a whole lot. I had to ask my my thing to fucking tell me how to spell it. I get it.
04:13:39
Speaker
I get it. I use text to talk. I'll do all my notes and everything. I don't i don't do it all the time, though. I can't. Oh, damn. Oh, and the bike hit him. The bike hit him. Oh, fuck.
04:13:52
Speaker
oh
04:13:56
Speaker
Lazy as a frizz from home ah Oh, dude. I'm fucking in. When do leave? MK, that is so spot It scares every time it kicks on, I'm fucking in to this.
04:14:10
Speaker
When do we leave? I'm ready. Holy shit. Did you see that drop? in Right, MK? The difference between doing a hill climb on a fucking...
04:14:24
Speaker
dirt bike and a Harley Davidson is worlds a difference because of the torque. it Yeah, like on a dirt bike, you feel like you're struggling to get up on a heart on the sports or you're like, have you seen trail riding? Yeah, I've seen trail riding.
04:14:38
Speaker
yeah i've seen Trail ride. Trial trial. Trial riding. Oh, trial runs. trial trial right oh trial runs yeah I forgot what mountain biking it is, but they're like on like these skinny-ass fucking boards and bridges. like It's nuts, man.
04:14:55
Speaker
like we're it's like they Some of these mountain bike courses have has like almost like a ski lift. It picks you and your bike up, takes you up top, and then lets you go.
04:15:11
Speaker
this ah This bike is electric, by the way. Mm-hmm.
04:15:16
Speaker
That is so cool. I want to do this. I don't have the skill. I know I don't, but it looks like fucking fun. got some control right there. The balance of these guys are nuts. That's the cool thing about an e-bike, though. i mean he's it's just Instant power.
04:15:33
Speaker
Yeah.
04:15:35
Speaker
Well, there's guys that do these on on like they're modified dirt bikes, basically.
04:15:42
Speaker
But there's trial bike bicycle, too. But see, the thing is, with well, any trial bike, because they're they lightweight, but an e-bike, man, it's just fucking light.
04:15:53
Speaker
I mean, so much lighter than than a ah dirt bike of the same same power. Although, the fastest dirt bike is still probably the faster than any e-bike.
04:16:10
Speaker
Right. Well, top speed. Accelerations. fucking nuts i in I can't do it. i know I can't. and I'm going to die, but I want to try.
04:16:21
Speaker
I wouldn't try something like that because I know I don't have the... I don't have the technical know-how. I know that. I don't. and It's not something I want to learn, but it's cool to watch. I love to watch.
04:16:33
Speaker
It's like watching gymnastics. It's like not something I do, but you can you can see you can tell the work that they've put themselves through in order to do that. You've got to appreciate it.
04:16:43
Speaker
I did gymnastics when I was in high school.
04:16:50
Speaker
I got in trouble doing round-off backflips. got in trouble for doing gymnastics. I got in trouble at school for doing round-off backflips in the lunch area. I thought you were going to say you got in trouble for using the wrong locker room.
04:17:04
Speaker
I got in trouble with that all the time. I was always in the girls' locker room. was on a cheerleading squad in high school. Not even close to surprised.
04:17:18
Speaker
Hey, I was good. We won state champs twice.
04:17:24
Speaker
i actually have pictures. i'm certain but and Now I'm starting to realize why he's hiding out in Mexico. i was good. Let's see. Hold on. Let me find the picture.
04:17:35
Speaker
What's up, F Joe? What up, F Joe? George W. Bush was a cheerleader in college.
04:17:46
Speaker
Yeah, we still have like Man, it's like we've been up here. We're hour and 45 minutes left. Everybody still wants to pop up and hang out.
04:17:58
Speaker
I'm to paste the link in the thing. I'm sorry, guys. Yes, please. Yeah, sorry. We were watching cool videos. We lost track. Let me scroll down here.
04:18:09
Speaker
He did a triple sow cow to win the she can stay yeah
04:18:19
Speaker
It took me
04:18:24
Speaker
a moment to realize he was referencing you. That's when I really found it funny. What is he talking of about? i'm like, oh, yeah, Jeff. That's pretty good.
04:18:35
Speaker
He's like, oh, this sounds like a funny joke about somebody. Oh, it's got to be about Jeff.
04:18:41
Speaker
There it is. Oh my gosh, you brought the receipts. I got receipts for Hold on. You got to hold on. you being the white hat right there you got it full gonna happen there You're have to zoom in, Yeah. yeah too small I mean,
04:18:58
Speaker
where are you in the front I'm the only dude. was just going say, which little girl are you? don't know, man. This girl right here, the girl next to me, ah the chubbier one, she's from, she's a foreign country. Do this.
04:19:13
Speaker
zoom Zoom back in and then zoom out over all the names in the article. Show me the name in the article. I got another one out there. Oh, man. that's That was me tossing some chick up in the air.
04:19:26
Speaker
Did you me on top that you scan and these pictures from a fax machine? What's going on? ah these Actually, these are... Okay, that does kind of look like Jeff. This is the original Photoshop.
04:19:39
Speaker
Yeah, there it is.
04:19:45
Speaker
Okay. Okay. my girls. That was in 2000?
04:19:51
Speaker
I forgot you're like younger than I am by a few years. yeah I think there's one which shows our names. There we go. Okay, let's see your name.
04:20:04
Speaker
David Jeff right there Hawk. Right there. Jeff Hawk. I'd be damned. I'd be I'd be damned. No higher cheerleading and chance. Look at that dance championships.
04:20:16
Speaker
yeah
04:20:22
Speaker
That's me, Kevin. Multiple photos seems legit. but like There's me. My Wildcats hat on. I miss that hat. I love that hat. There's one of the girls picking me up for a change. see See that chick up here? on a gri i actually throw i would throw her up in the air. You can see me right there.
04:20:43
Speaker
getting ready to catch How did he do? How how did the the electric Honda... That fucking ponder, dude. Fair enough that jixxer, though. That's what I'm curious. There's holding the trophy. America's your champs.
04:20:59
Speaker
That's the participation trophy, don't lie. Yeah. Two years back-to-back champs. We won Florida State.
04:21:10
Speaker
Because the National Cheerleading Championship, there's three different ones. And you you qualify, and then you, as a team, choose which one to go to. We went to Florida every year for the Simple Actors. Fucking Florida, we're from Ohio.
04:21:23
Speaker
ah Joe's got a serious question. If I started a business and needed reviews, could I just go around cell phone stores and go to my Google page and give five-year reviews? You can.
04:21:35
Speaker
phones, Google accounts. However, what you can do, Joe, here's what you do. You actually go on LinkedIn, you pay people $2 a piece to actually leave a review.
04:21:46
Speaker
But Joe's trying to find a free way to do it. And you're over here like, you can do it. know,
04:21:59
Speaker
you know Here's my thing. You know, there used be this thing, oh, man, that Mel Chee leader, man, he's all surrounded by all that skirt. You know he's getting laid.
04:22:11
Speaker
Never. One of that. yeah There were some pregnancy scares. I'm just saying that. used the LinkedIn approach. He just gave them $2 each. and then Yeah, but you quelled that pregnancy scare by not catching them.
04:22:28
Speaker
right Right? That was the easy thing. Oh, he fell. That was He fell. There you go, Blaze.
04:22:40
Speaker
No catch, no problem. Let's go do this.
04:22:45
Speaker
Oh, fuck. If I don't catch, the doctor don't catch.
04:22:50
Speaker
yeah No, I dated two of the girls. Two of the girls I actually dated on on the squad. At the same time? but and they both and they both... I was treated like Big Brother Jeff.
04:23:07
Speaker
I was treated like Big Brother Jeff. Anytime there was a problem with a boyfriend, Jeff took care of it. that shit. they were they' They're still my girls. I get calls from them all the time.
04:23:23
Speaker
They taught me things that you don't learn in books. I'm just saying. oh who What the hell was that? Did he just go sideways?
04:23:33
Speaker
I like it. Dude, this looks fun.
04:23:39
Speaker
This is freestyle. So you just go out and you find a line, man.
04:23:48
Speaker
I'm in. When do we leave? I can't do this. I know I can't. I will die. oh shit.
04:23:56
Speaker
This is how these guys practice. No, this is when I get off it and just push it up the rocks. Yeah, you know what? There's got to be an easier way. I'm just saying. Oh, nice. That's impressive. Fuck.
04:24:07
Speaker
Yeah. That's pretty dope. Have you ever guys ever seen stunt riding? i've seen I've seen BMX fucking BMX style riding like that. Oh, shit.
04:24:21
Speaker
wow bo This is my friend Sarah. She is the reigning champ of Stunt X. This is her
04:24:36
Speaker
her. She's French. she's a She is the number one stunt writer in the world. She actually did stunt work for Scarlett Johansson in Avengers.
04:24:52
Speaker
I think it was Age Ultron.
04:24:57
Speaker
She's amazing. Holy shit. things Yeah, she's fucking dope.
04:25:06
Speaker
Her name's Sarah Lozito. The only issue I have is she's a lesbian. which means I can' have an issue with that. Because can't date her because no she sorry that's how I'm sorry. That's that's her her worth value to you.
04:25:23
Speaker
No, no. she's I've been friends with her for a couple years now. She's a sweetheart. Her wife is ba beautiful. be even better. if i had a why else it would to be even better Right? I'm just saying. and ah No! she sees any artist No!
04:25:42
Speaker
Sarah, if you're watching, I'm kidding. I love your wife.
04:25:49
Speaker
She is legit, though. Look at that. She can she can rock a bike, boy. She's got like 15. Her English is not great. She did a competition at a... Neither is yours, Jeff.
04:26:04
Speaker
No, no. Well, she's French. But she did a competition. like she like Is she like france French isn't born and raised Paris? Born and raised in Paris. Well, of course her English is not going to be. right I wouldn't expect it to be. I'm not saying.
04:26:18
Speaker
Oh, shit. She did like a handstand on the bike. That's dope. That's impressive. that's that's um that's impressive Did you know a motorcycle will keep itself up by itself? It's going seven miles an hour. There's a couple of videos of hers where you can see that. I did not know that.
04:26:38
Speaker
Yep. A motorcycle will keep straight up on its own seven miles. and So basically after that, you're just, you're just steering.
04:26:50
Speaker
I miss riding motorcycle. I do too.
04:26:55
Speaker
ah might I might go to Harley- day um I might go to Harley-Davidson on just like a free ride day and just go ride. You know what? I'm not mad at that. Good lord! Because I don't cause i don't ever plan on buying another motorcycle. so it's like but i so Really? What's wrong with you? Because I might do van life. i by By the time I get down to van life, I'm going be too old to ride a motorcycle.
04:27:15
Speaker
You're never too old. I hate to say it, but like the way my arm is and shit, like it hurt it physically hurts to ride. of the reasons That's one of the reasons why i got rid of it. and dares say There's a video that she did.
04:27:33
Speaker
She did a video where she... Yeah, here it is. This is cool. so so This is an expo she did at a... um It was like a motorcycle shot us up store where you can buy motorcycles.
04:27:45
Speaker
She tried to wheelie everything. Everything they had, including a fucking... ah like the I remember what it's called. I've seen somebody fucking wheelie an 88 fucking Road King.
04:27:58
Speaker
but she She does it here. she actually She wheelies a gold wing and fucking destroys the exhaust. Okay, want to see this gold wing being wheelied. Hey guys, I gotta jump off, but thanks for having me up. and yeah um If you guys are still on in a while, I might be able to get back on. i don't know but we're we're We got about an hour and a half and we're done.
04:28:21
Speaker
There it is, boys. You guys have a good rest your night. You too. Thanks for joining us, Lazy. Have a great one. There you go. She's going to wheelie this gold wing.
04:28:32
Speaker
Okay. This thing has torque. Yeah, it does have torque. Yeah, it does. They're quick. Look, she's got a bounce.
04:28:43
Speaker
She's got skill. She's getting the feel of it. Yeah. well Like I said, these are all brand new bikes. Have you ever seen cops do their fucking bike, motorcycle, riding train? Oh, my God. My wife's stepdad used to do that.
04:29:00
Speaker
they They're... Yeah. There she goes. She's got a little bit. She's got try it again. pros Shipped the weight properly, she said.
04:29:11
Speaker
1800. eighteen hundred She gets it. It's like she destroys that exhaust. There it is. Yeah. Oh, she hasn't wheelied it yet. I mean, really, really did.
04:29:26
Speaker
Well, there's not a whole lot of room to wheelie that thing, and it's a big fuck bike. I think this is the one where she she scrapes the exhaust.
04:29:37
Speaker
the thing the right so the thing with these these fucking, I call these gold wings like the ah RV of motorcycles. There she goes. There it is. You have to take that rear end in order to you have to take that rear in completely apart to even like drop that engine do anything to it.
04:29:54
Speaker
Yeah, they're they're they're insane. don't want one. Gold wings are good. If you have the money to turn that you know take it to Honda for servicing, go for it.
04:30:06
Speaker
If you ever plan on doing like maintenance on your own, invest in equipment. yeah ro king who What was that? Whoa.
04:30:18
Speaker
That was impressive.
04:30:22
Speaker
I don't know what that looks like fun. Is that an e-bike? No, that's just a mountain bike. Oh, shit. His name is Brandon.
04:30:34
Speaker
It is. We got to go to his page because I'm interested. bre Oh, hey, scroll back up real quick.
04:30:44
Speaker
That's him. right, go ahead. Go ahead. No, I thought I saw something else. I was like, man He's only got shorts. I want to see my final video of the dude.
04:30:53
Speaker
No, okay. go You should have went to his home. Go back. Go back. Get back. Go to home or videos. Okay, there we go. ice Okay, this shit's looking for me. think I've seen him selling his videos. oh he's he's I think he works for Red Bull or sponsored by or whatever.
04:31:13
Speaker
what what time is This looks like fun. 1130. Those bikes cost more than my fucking house.
04:31:24
Speaker
Yeah. And to be honest, that's probably a real number. My house was like 35 grand. I was looking at Trek bikes one time. They're like thousands of dollars, man. They can be thousands of dollars.
04:31:38
Speaker
Well, they got to take the abuse, man. I used to destroy bicycles for a living, I swear to God. i would I can destroy bike running down a hill like nobody's business. Well, Huffy or Murray ain't going a fucking hold up. No, they don't hold up.
04:31:55
Speaker
Oh, this looks like fun, Blaze. Look up Rad Rover e-bike. Rad Rover? R-A-D? Yes. bad rover
04:32:03
Speaker
r a
04:32:06
Speaker
yes and Oh, I've seen these. Yeah. Okay. There's a guy I watch on TikTok. You don't have to play it. No, I'm not going to. There's a guy I watch on TikTok. He's actually... They're a little bit streetable.
04:32:26
Speaker
You know what I want? I wanted to ask you about this earlier. Wonderful.
04:32:34
Speaker
so I won't want one of these. I want one of these. These look like fucking bucks.
04:32:43
Speaker
The Onewheel.
04:32:46
Speaker
They're like two grand, dude. I was looking at getting one those. The first gen, I think you can buy one for like 500 bucks now. but Really? If you find a good used one, yeah.
04:32:57
Speaker
But I was kind of looking at those at one time, but I'm just... my knees and my ankles. Right. I don't know if I can do it. Adam Savage rode one and he bit it.
04:33:08
Speaker
Yeah. It looks fun as fuck though. It does. I'm fucking yes Super 73. I never, i have to look Super 73. I've never heard of them. Is it an e-bike, Mike?
04:33:20
Speaker
So this is the one wheel. Well, I know what a one wheel is. No, I'm just.
04:33:28
Speaker
Have you seen, have you seen the Oh, it's it's not if it's it's a one-wheel device, but in insteadners instead of standing on it like a skateboard, you stand on it.
04:33:40
Speaker
You straddle it. like Yes. yeah i it's kind of Those look cool. I forgot what it's called, though. I do, too. That thing looks fucking dope.
04:33:50
Speaker
That looks dope. Oh, what's that? This one.
04:33:57
Speaker
Hold on. Is that what we were talking about? Oh, that's a so of this stupid little quote-unquote. Oh, that. What is this?
04:34:09
Speaker
I'm in.
04:34:14
Speaker
I'm in. When do we leave? Where can I get one? I don't know, man. ah He constantly has his fucking feet down. That makes me feel like it's not stable. No, it's probably not stable.
04:34:29
Speaker
I think this one-off.
04:34:32
Speaker
Because I think if you let it go, it's you're going to flip around.
04:34:38
Speaker
No, because he's not, because he's fighting with it too much. He's fighting with it too much, man. Have you seen these? And I spelled it wrong. I want one of these.
04:34:51
Speaker
This is something that you e seen yeah we can do. That brings me back to my childhood, actually. Like, I want to do this. I want one. But I want the motorized ones.
04:35:03
Speaker
Have you seen the motorized ones? They run like five horse Briggs and Stratton. Nothing crazy. But it's basically the same thing, but your back wheels have power.
04:35:14
Speaker
And you can drift around. Let me see if I can find one. Yeah, here's one. There you go. Check this out. I want these.
04:35:26
Speaker
Oh, come Keep your logo.
04:35:31
Speaker
yeah five years i yeah Yeah, I want one of these. These look like fun. but Nothing crazy. No crazy amounts of power. what I mean, it's it's it's awesome. And don't get me wrong. I think it's dope as fuck. And you can buy manufactured ones like that or build your own. I get it.
04:35:46
Speaker
But, you know, at the same time, I feel like every time I turn around, like my childhood has been trying to market it back to me. But you're telling you wouldn't buy out that. would buy the fuck out of that. It would make the run to go get cigarettes so much more fun.
04:36:00
Speaker
like I kind of want to go build one. They don't look too hard to build, really. They're not. I've actually watched videos on how to build them. there fucking You can take old bicycles and put them and the rear tires The rear tires are actually go-kart tires yeah are that are inflated inside a plastic pipe.
04:36:20
Speaker
Okay. ando
04:36:24
Speaker
So you can put like an 8-inch pipe, cut it, put the tire in it, inflate the tire so the pipe doesn't go to it. ah sorry, but I just, I wanted i kind of want kind of want to do that.
04:36:36
Speaker
Right? Like, I would literally, I would i would get yelled at by my wife to come inside. Like, she's like, it's 3 o'clock in the morning. Stop playing on your tricep and come home.
04:36:48
Speaker
Yes, honey. Oh, my neighbors would hate me. I would be the envy of every kid in my allotment. and i did That's something to be proud of.
04:37:00
Speaker
Kids are jealous. It would be one of those things. like you know the first the ah yeah you saw the movie what was that movie with Elijah Wood where it was deep in that
04:37:12
Speaker
yeah You know, he goes to his girlfriend's dad house, dad and his dad's locking up the his dirt bike, and he's like, you know, every parent in the neighborhood hated you when you got this dirt bike.
04:37:23
Speaker
Do you think the PVC pipe would hold up, though, Mike? It is. It's a PVC pipe. It's literally, it's eight-inch feet of PVC pipe, because yeah it's it's not riding on the pipe.
04:37:34
Speaker
the the The tire is inflated inside the pipe. Yeah. So it's got pressure all the way around. It's literally almost like if you put a piece of plastic underneath their feet. Like when you – you remember how we used to – don't know if you did it.
04:37:49
Speaker
We took trays from Wendy's and put them on the back – underneath the back tires of the car, lock the e-brake, and start drifting around the parking lot. I never did that, but I – It's the same concept.
04:38:00
Speaker
Okay. I do have – it reminds me of story when i was in Alaska, though.
04:38:06
Speaker
It's the same concept. It it lasts. You have a, it's a mileage thing. You got so many drifting miles on each piece of pipe because it will slowly eat away. And all you got to is deflate the tire, take off the old, put in a new, you buy an eight foot section, you're good for like four years.
04:38:27
Speaker
So I'm going to show a picture real quick. yeah So this, this is a, this is a, a bobtail, what we call the bobtail in the air force so we use the hall munitions.
04:38:40
Speaker
You kind of see what, okay. So it's like a truck and it's bobtailed because of this. And it's a pedal hook on the back. You got like three pedal hooks back there. Anyway, i this one night in Alaska, ka this was during this is during the winter.
04:38:57
Speaker
And the bomb dump at Isles and Air Force Base is kind of split up. You got maintenance up on the hill. You got PGM over here. You got the rest over there. And there's this long road that connected the rest of the base to PGM. PGM is pre precision guided missile shot.
04:39:15
Speaker
Okay. And it's in on that road, there's no other exits or anything. There's nowhere to turn or nothing. The only place to go is like there's a little pond that I i would go fishing at sometimes while at work.
04:39:28
Speaker
Another story. Anyway, during the winter, like the roads around there fucking iced up. It's fucking Alaska. So we would take fucking tie down straps and we'd fucking hang off the back of this these pinnall hooks with the bobtails.
04:39:41
Speaker
We would have, because I was a line driver at the time, and so we were out on our bobtails, but we had nothing to do. We'd get bored and go fuck off. So... One bobtail would go to the P, right?
04:39:54
Speaker
We'd go to the PGM shop outside the gate, post up with their radio. and Another person would go to the other end of the road, and their bobtail posts up with radio and let us know if anybody's coming. We'd take the third bobtail with couple tight-down straps off the pinnel hook and some cardboard or trash can lids or whatever we can find. And we're going down down these fucking roads. And these bobtails only go like 35 miles max. We used houston But we're going down we're they're going down the fucking Bobtail. We're holding those tie-down straps, going back and forth, hitting the fucking snow banks, hitting each fucking other, man.
04:40:27
Speaker
We'd go to the junkyard and get an old hood from a car and hook it behind ah four-wheeler and do the same thing. Same shit, yeah. Yeah. By the way, um got a video here.
04:40:40
Speaker
I'm going to play it. This is how to build one of those bikes. It's not that difficult. I'm going to play like two speeds. Alright, cool. I'm down. Yeah, definitely so speed it up fast. so Yeah, because it's an 8 minute video. so He literally just... so oh this is This is PVC pipe.
04:40:59
Speaker
No, no. this is He's actually using metal. okay He's cutting up an old bicycle. No, the tire, around the tire is PVC pipe.
04:41:10
Speaker
It's just PVC plastic, not pipe. It's plastic around this tire. You buy an 8 inch who On the outside of the tire. Yeah.
04:41:21
Speaker
Those are the tires. And he'll show you here in a minute. and you just Those aren't rubber? Those are rubber. Those are rubber. Those are rubber. Okay. Yes. They're go-kart tires. What are you talking about PVC pipe? Hold on. You'll see.
04:41:35
Speaker
What you do is you deflate the tire and put it inside a PVC pipe that fits. And then inflate the tire so the PVC pipe doesn't come off.
04:41:45
Speaker
I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. You'll see. You'll see. But you're rolling on PVC pipe asphalt. Right. That's what makes it slip. That's what makes it slip.
04:41:57
Speaker
Oh, that just, that makes, that's what you can drift.
04:42:02
Speaker
I'm just fast forwarding. like like he's He's got white PVC pipe.
04:42:09
Speaker
i that That took me like 10 minutes to click, guys. Yeah, I caught that. This is... this is a See there? Look, the PVC pipe. this is This is how my brain is working at the moment.
04:42:23
Speaker
Right? I'm
04:42:27
Speaker
just saying. As you see, that's PVC pipe around the tire, the rubber tire. I get it now. He just does it so it so it'll drift. I get it. i get it i get it i get it I didn't catch it the first time like at all.
04:42:41
Speaker
I was thinking you were guys were talking about the frame. i was like, that's some some pretty beefy PVC pipe to fucking take up that kind of shit. but yeah It's just tubing and bicycle. yeah but That makes sense. cause You wouldn't be able to drift like that. with right he would You would just grip. let Of course, it was just an ice and shit.
04:43:04
Speaker
that That looks like fun. ah He's excited and you know what? I think he has every right to me. I'm just saying, I want Whoa. Oh! Did you just see what this is?
04:43:16
Speaker
Let me get past this stupid ad for the Mitsubishi and this tank game.
04:43:25
Speaker
b c bc All that shit we've been talking him about is coming up on your advertising. This is grindhard plugging. This is what? Grindhard Plumbing.
04:43:36
Speaker
They built a trike. This is the YouTube channel, Grindhard Plumbing. And they built these crazy vehicles. No. They build crazy vehicles. That is a Harley trike thrift for dirt.
04:43:51
Speaker
Oh.
04:43:55
Speaker
See, that shit looks fun, but man, I swear to God, I'd fucking kill myself, man. These guys are just giant fucking kids. Do you ever have that feeling like you watch somebody do something like that and then you get on and do it yourself like, oh, ah that was easy.
04:44:10
Speaker
Oh, yeah. you know what I mean? think that's kind of what it To put it into context, when I first saw my first day at Cheerleading, I had to learn how to do backlifts. My mic knows.
04:44:23
Speaker
I had to do backflips. I had to learn how to do round off back kicks. I had to do ah learn all these fucking gymnastics things. And when I saw it, I was like, oh my God, I'm going to die.
04:44:33
Speaker
By the end of the day, I'm doing backflips where I just stand and do a backflip. I can't do it anymore because I'm 44 years old and I was 19 and 18 back then. But it was one of those things. It was like, once you learn how to do it, it's actually really simple. It's all technique.
04:44:51
Speaker
It's just like once you learn how to to have sex, it's all easy. It's just putting the hot dog in the bun. Yeah. There's no such thing as bad sex. Sex is always good. There's no such thing as bad.
04:45:03
Speaker
Like, okay, you can have... No, no, no, no. let me Let me explain. Having sex, whether it's good or bad, it's still having sex. You still finished.
04:45:15
Speaker
There is better sex than others. Bad sex bad sex is when you don't finish. That is true. however i oh sa Once again, i've I've said this a million times.
04:45:26
Speaker
Sex is a race. I'm here to win. Yeah, but we all know that Jeff has lower standards. than the rest I do. I do. Two tits, a hole in heartbeat, baby. I'm ready.
04:45:37
Speaker
Heartbeat's optional. I'm just saying. No, unfortunately, no. I did not go. I actually did ah mascot or a for a semi-pro basketball game. Shaka. And you know what? He backed that shit up with receipts earlier. I got receipts. Jedi was here to fucking see it. so And Mike Mike was here. MK was here. So we all saw the receipts.
04:45:57
Speaker
ye Jeff was a cheerleader. yeah I was a good cheerleader, actually. I was the only guy with 22 girls for two years. Give me an in no No, we didn't. Well, we were on ESPN five different times. Give me an O. Give me another Hold on. Check this out. na Give me an S. National Cheerleading Championships.
04:46:18
Speaker
Give me an Check this out. I'm done trying to spell out nonsense. You can't spell. So this is kind of what we did.
04:46:29
Speaker
This is not us. This is just a random quick video I found. But this is what we would do. This is National Cheerleading Championships. Oh, Shaka, you missed the conversation where I was, i told Jeff he never got laid as a cheerleader. He said he had a couple of pregnancy scares. And I told him, was like, well, you know. That's why you drop them.
04:46:51
Speaker
That's why you drop them. This is what we did.
04:46:58
Speaker
And Shaka, I am excited to see those. And you better post those in the WhatsApp chat so I can post those everywhere else. Thanks, sir. um I've never actually tried to look this up, but this is back in 2000. This is this is when I competed.
04:47:15
Speaker
i was ah I was in J-Rotsey. I was in J-Rotsey all four years of high school, so and I did color guard and drill team. Mostly color guard. you know Marching with the color.
04:47:28
Speaker
so The drill team thing, s spinning the rifle was not my thing. I learned it, but go Okay, so I was what's called a non-co-ed squad because I was the only guy.
04:47:43
Speaker
We're going to Disney Land. Disney Land. Disney Land. Co-ed squad. This is in Disneyland. This is back in 2000. I looked up 2000 to see if could find a video of us. Oh, my gosh.
04:47:56
Speaker
Yeah, we used to throw the girls 35 feet in the air. oh my. And I also did a competition, and I don't have pictures, but there's what's called the individual competition.
04:48:09
Speaker
ah what she called Consider me in a rest.
04:48:13
Speaker
So doubles is one guy, one girl on stage for three minutes like this.
04:48:23
Speaker
And she doesn't touch ground. She doesn't touch the ground for three minutes. I used to do this. I won championship twice. However, me being a small guy, the girl that I used, she was at seven grams. She weighed a whole hundred pounds. You would check when we keep you off the ground for three minutes at least. Challenge accepted.
04:48:44
Speaker
I got a bet. is what we did. Why is this? This is still a full two times speed, by the way. But that's doubles. That's cool, dude. Yeah.
04:48:56
Speaker
yeah It was a blast, man. I would not have expected you to be a cheerleader. It's one of, know, and here's the, cra I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not digging it. I'm not digging it. I'm not, I'm not digging at it. Right. im no yeah Here's what's happened.
04:49:12
Speaker
It happened by accident. It's not like a you know, sought it out. So my sister, So hold on, hold on. but Before you tell this story, i just want to get in the mind frame.
04:49:25
Speaker
As if I'm in high school, I'm a high school coach. I see all these new kids coming to high school. and I'm like, oh, he'd be great for basketball. He's tall. Look, that dude's big. He'd be great for football.
04:49:36
Speaker
je Jeff, who's the top? Oh, cheerleader. No, okay. So so the cheerleading squad I was on was not with the school. It was actually a private company.
04:49:48
Speaker
that had, it was nine different schools. And there was like one or two girls from one school. i It was me and two girls from my school. So was five different schools. And my sister's best friend's daughter was on the squad.
04:50:04
Speaker
And my sister and her best friend were at cheerleading practice. And she called me and she's like, hey, can you bring me whatever it was? And I said, okay, yeah, where are you? And I drove over there and I walked in, i was like,
04:50:18
Speaker
This is fucking cool. I'm going to address the shocker. but let find yeah let Let Jeff finish, but I will address this comment. i i after I stayed and watched the entire practice. I went to the coach afterwards, a woman named Michelle, and I said, these girls are really good.
04:50:35
Speaker
I wish I could do something like that. She's like, if you want to join, it won't cost you a fucking dime because I would love to have a guy on the team. And I was like, are you serious?
04:50:46
Speaker
And she was like, all you need is a pair of white fucking shoes we'll cover everything else. They bought my uniform, everything. My uniform was $480 for the shirt. they I still have my uniform shirt.
04:50:58
Speaker
It was like $2 a week back then. They're custom made to fit you. And mine still fits, by the way. And I proved that weeks ago. We can go on break. can go put it on.
04:51:11
Speaker
My exchange value is all wrapped up in the price of weed. I noticed that. But like said, two years, i I became team captain my second year.
04:51:23
Speaker
Me and one other girl was team captain, obviously because we were seniors. And i had – dude, cheerleading nationals was the same because you're talking about – you go to nationals.
04:51:35
Speaker
There's 180-plus teams, five thousand girls in like nineteen 20 dudes and half the dudes were gay. Okay. So I got the gist the story how you became a cheerleader. I do want to address this comment in the bottom. and And Jeff, if you can if you can please correct me if I'm wrong. Shaka, you're prison guard, correct?
04:51:58
Speaker
That's what I thought. That's what I thought too. I'm in the honor guard at work. I didn't know like where do you work at? I could have sworn you worked for the prison system. i That's what I thought he did too.
04:52:09
Speaker
I didn't know it was honor guard. Uh, it's where we did the salutes and rifle shooting at funerals and stuff like that. We actually got to perform at halftime shows and clippers. I'm confused on your profession shock. And maybe I haven't listened enough in the past and now I'm feeling pretty shitty about that.
04:52:25
Speaker
Yeah, but you're stoned half the time, buddy.
ADHD & Military Experiences
04:52:29
Speaker
It's my attention span. I'm, no i had like to I love people. I love all humans. I think we're all stupid at the same time. um very um ah just My mind just works in a weird way, man. I'm not a mother but a social person. i come online because like conversation and stuff.
04:52:49
Speaker
And I have my regulars I talk to. There are some details that go in one ear and out the other, just like this spaceship right here. and it's because I am stoned all the time. No, but you have the same issue I do. strong you ah you And I think everybody on the Nonsensical Network can say this.
04:53:07
Speaker
We have one form or another of ADHD.
04:53:11
Speaker
Mine's very bad. Like, squirrel.
04:53:17
Speaker
Oh, no, no. i pay I pay... guess i guess what i what I pay attention to is not so much... right know I pay attention to the conversation, but sometimes contradictions stick out and I get... Fixated.
04:53:36
Speaker
Fixated on the contradictions, I hear. Yeah, yeah. right like Yes. so Okay. Yeah, I'm a correctional officer in prison. We have an honor guard that we set up for law enforcement. Oh!
04:53:48
Speaker
so Okay, that makes sense now. I was right. Okay. i i only see cause sometimes i do Now I don't feel like a dick. and No, it's just because I do feel like a dick when I forget about shit. People story. Right. Because it does happen for all law enforcement. im See, I didn't know that.
04:54:03
Speaker
I thought law enforcement, too that was like internal within law enforcement itself. I did too.
04:54:12
Speaker
Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. That makes so much sense. All right, cool. Thank you for breaking that down. All right. No, but it's one of those things. One
04:54:23
Speaker
one of my favorite movies of all time, I hate to admit this because it has Tom Cruise in it, is A Few Good Men. Excellent movie. Great courtroom drama.
04:54:34
Speaker
You can't handle the drone! It's not that bad. That opening scene with the with the color guard, the Marine The Marine Corps silent drill team, if you' know if you're not familiar with who the the silent drill team is within the Marine Corps, um I would say when it comes to discipline,
04:55:02
Speaker
choreography and all that, they're probably the most on point. It's structured. It's rigid. It's not like choreography out of a movie, but for what they do with absolutely no fucking sound is amazing. oh's It's like, yeah, it's like, it's, ah you can watch that. And again, appreciate the time that went into making that.
04:55:25
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Well, and the crazy thing is, is like my uncle told me, and I don't know how true this is. And i I've always wanted to ask a Marine because I was in the Navy. Other than that, all Marines can go kiss my ass and I'm in the Air Force. I fucking ah agree. I'm fucking with you. agree.
04:55:41
Speaker
You know, you know, jarheads, when what we you guys need a ride, the Navy will take care of you. um But I actually know what's funny is when i was in Guam, the first bar I went to, it was like my first weekend there.
04:55:54
Speaker
I just pulled up in a fucking bar, and at that time, there was a lot of Marines coming through Japan, and there was there was some roughhousing with some of the Marines, and I was just learning that.
04:56:06
Speaker
I'm sitting at the bar. There's this fucking dude sitting next to me, and another dude on the other side. This guy on the left of me was some army puke head that just wanted to fucking get in a fight. I didn't want nothing to do I'm not a violent person. I mean, I've been in fights, but I go out of my way not to.
04:56:24
Speaker
And the dude on the right was with the dude on the right was in the Marines. but this I sat here and chatted with this Marine guy for like all night. It was the most amazing fucking conversation I ever had. He was down to earth. He was pretty spot on. like Not all Marines are bad. One of my good friends at MMI was a Marine guy.
04:56:41
Speaker
It was a Marine. it was It was a Marine veteran that turned me back on the weed after i got out of the interview. Not all Marines are bad. but Not all of them. Oh, there's nothing better than getting a bar fight with a bunch of Marines.
04:56:57
Speaker
like I just like fucking with other branches sometimes. When I got out of Bud's, of course, we were all are Billy Badasses. and and we Navy SEAL training.
04:57:12
Speaker
um I had to do it in order to go to cyber school. But... um I did not become a SEAL, just in case anybody's wondering. I rang the fucking bell. It took me six weeks, but I ran that fucking bell.
04:57:25
Speaker
Because, dude, if you go all you know all the whole shebang, you're belly badass, don't care you are. The air force Air Force has special ops. It's called TACP. Tactical PariRescue or ta p and It's one of the hardest. it so yeah it's one of the hardest Even though it's Air Force.
04:57:46
Speaker
Later, Mike. mike man It was ah great you stopping by, homie. Later, buddy. If you're a Marine, you know I'm just fucking with you, right?
04:57:57
Speaker
I'm not. and I love fighting Marines. That's fun. What was I talking about? boys hit like a hammer, but this is worth it. I forgot what was talking about. You were talking about the special forces is from the Air Force.
04:58:12
Speaker
Oh, ATAC-P. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So being in the Air Force, I knew a lot of people who got washed out ATAC-P because they couldn't make it. And a lot of them felt bad about it, but I look at them like, dude, you did more than I could do.
04:58:27
Speaker
Well, you know, and give yourself some credit. Like you went for it. You made it like four weeks into it. Yeah. I mean, that's more than I did. like i Like I couldn't even get up there and do it.
04:58:41
Speaker
So, I mean, like, even if you had to ring the bell, I'm just saying, dude, you fucking tried. Oh, I have no, I, well, here's the thing. So, my last year of high school, I was in, I was in this weird head space. Like my body's a playground and I want to fucking be the jungle gym.
04:59:00
Speaker
You know, like I, I would spend hours in the fucking weight room and, My max bench was like 290. So that reminds me of a Jerry Seinfeld show. It reminds me of a jerry jerry fine Jerry Seinfeld episode where George cassando Costanza was talking about the time his mother found him masturbating and how how he described that whole time was like using his body as a fucking carnivore or some shit like that.
04:59:28
Speaker
i'll See, i I heard a line in a movie, and I don't even remember what movie it was. And the line was, some people body somebody some people treat their body like a temple. I treat mine like an amusement park.
04:59:42
Speaker
And the dude trained like a beast, right? And I had that weird mindset where it was like, I want to just be, you know, make John Cena look like a little guy. and When I think of amusement park, though, I don't think of working. I think about funnel cakes and fucking deep fried Snickers. You know what I mean? i'm just I was on strict diet.
05:00:00
Speaker
I fucking worked out like four times a day. And and so when I left, when I went into...
05:00:09
Speaker
Delayed entry, which means yeah you I actually went two years before I graduated away in high school because I was 18. I did six months DEP program. so familiar with it yeah During the summer of my junior year, I went to basic training.
05:00:24
Speaker
The next summer, I spent in SEAL training. and Because at the end of ah basic in the Navy, they say, who wants to try out for BUDS?
05:00:35
Speaker
Now, granted... I think it was like eight years prior to that, you had to get like permission. like You had to get sponsored by like a senator. You had to write letters.
05:00:47
Speaker
And they they were like not getting enough people. And so they changed the rule where you just volunteer. you know So at the end of basic, were like, who wants to try out for SEAL?
05:00:57
Speaker
And I was like, I'm fucking in. I like playing. i like beating the shit out of my body. And the first week, dude, first week we didn't sleep. And another masturbation. we just somewhere We just went, I'll go, no quit for fucking seven days straight because our XO was like, we don't, welcome to your first day of seals.
05:01:23
Speaker
We don't stop until somebody quits. And I was like, okay, so like three hours, right? No, seven fucking days. where, you know, and then you'd write an essay in a room that's like 200 fucking degrees because I crank up the heat and it's dark and they got music playing. Pause, time, time, time, time. to yeah time I can see why you rang the bell. I can see why you rang the bell now.
05:01:50
Speaker
No, it didn't what you were. They asked you write essay. No, no, no. They asked you to write an essay. They give you a legal pad and a pencil. They give you legal pad and a pencil. Like, got to write words?
05:02:03
Speaker
I can't text to speech to this shit? They said, we want a thousand word essay on why you love the Navy. You've been up for like four or five days at this point.
05:02:14
Speaker
You're exhausted. They want to see how your brain works when you're sleeping. Dude, I couldn't write a fucking thousand word essay for why I loved the Air Force. agree I can't find enough words to make that happen.
05:02:30
Speaker
It was one of those things. They want to see how your um I got it, Tucker. They want to see how your brain works. Because at that point, you're fucking so exhausted, you can't write your fucking name.
05:02:44
Speaker
All right, all right, all right. I'm going to share. I got it. Chaka just sent. I got it. It's right here. Here it is.
05:02:55
Speaker
but just I have it up. I already have it up.
05:03:00
Speaker
Okay, go ahead I thought I had it up. I thought you had it up too. i did. no I had it up. like I literally had it up on the screen and you said, no, I have it, so I took mine down.
05:03:16
Speaker
Yeah, motherfucker, I don't want to listen to me What are you talking about? It'll start. That's pretty cool. Let's see if we can figure out which one's Chaka. The one that's as big as round as he is tall.
05:03:28
Speaker
They all got hats on. I can't tell which one's Chaka. This is the bald one.
05:03:37
Speaker
I like your uniforms. Those are cool.
05:03:43
Speaker
But, yeah, like, it was hell on earth, dude.
05:03:48
Speaker
i i i if i If given a chance, I would not do it again.
05:03:56
Speaker
Because it was like, oh, so exhausting. And you know you'd be you be running with your ruck on the beach, and then the next thing, you know you're you're doing burpees in the fucking ocean.
05:04:10
Speaker
It's 2 o'clock in the fucking morning. And it's burpees. Yeah. Burpees is something I want to start doing again. And I'll say this because burpees are one of those exercises, no matter what age you are, if you can do them, they're like one of the best workouts.
05:04:25
Speaker
It's impressive. Well, we used to do with this thing. They're called up-downs. They're called what? Up-downs. Up-downs is this. it It's ah push-ups, sit-ups, crunches, burpees, jumping jacks.
05:04:40
Speaker
And up-down works like this. So you do... you do five, one round. Then you do 10 for the next round. 15 for the next round. 20 for the next round.
05:04:53
Speaker
Up to 50. Then you go back down. Then you do 50. Then you do 45. Then you do 40. That's one round. All the way up to 50. All the way back. So you add five each round.
05:05:05
Speaker
Man, fuck all that. Oh, it was hell. Oh. And you would have to count every sum every single one. Out loud. In unison.
05:05:18
Speaker
But I did get to learn some really cool shit. And we got to blow up lot of shit. ah Weapons training is fucking amazing. I love weapons training. And then I went sniper school.
05:05:31
Speaker
i was a ah funny Dude, i literally when I joined the Air Force, I didn't know what I was joining. how wait When I joined, I didn't know what I was joining for like job-wise. Not a clue. Okay.
05:05:43
Speaker
going through I'm going through the fucking MEPS process and all that shit. And I'm like, they're throwing jobs at me. Like, you want to do this? You want to do that? You want to do this? You want to do that?
05:05:55
Speaker
And I'm looking at EOD, like explosive ordnance disposal. I'm like, ooh, this sounds fun. Sounds like fun. You were wrong. And I'm like, i'm like hold on. it's like 18 months.
05:06:07
Speaker
And then I see ammo, also another job that works with explosives. And it's only like, what it, six weeks? I'm like, let's do ammo.
05:06:19
Speaker
And then I was like, oh, man. The number one rule is don't point it at you.
05:06:27
Speaker
This is your chair. Welcome to the airport. I had a rough time in ammo, not because the work was hard, because it wasn't. It was because the people were stupid. because the job Because it's only an eight-month fucking... It's a priest job. I didn't understand shit like that at that point in time in my life. I didn't realize that until like 10 years in. I'm like, the reason why I'm having a hard time with this is because... Everybody around me is fucking stupid.
05:06:55
Speaker
Not everybody, but a lot of them. I tell you what, though. There's a reason why they really give those ASPAP numbers a fucking... No, no. in this aren't really good i'm not saying I'm not saying this because i just I'm like some big-brained person. I'm not. I'm saying this because I literally assaulted an NCO, a dude above me, and got away with it because everybody was so stupid.
05:07:20
Speaker
Hey, you know, one of the funniest things ever, i was on ship one day, And there was a there was a guy, he was like fresh out of fucking college. And, you know, he had stripes and he thought he was really badass.
05:07:32
Speaker
And he didn't, he was he was so new to being an officer. He didn't really know the rules. So I walked by and he salutes me. And I was like, you don't have salute me, son. And walked away.
05:07:43
Speaker
and it took him like two hours to realize that I was in the wrong, not him. Stop.
05:07:49
Speaker
like
05:07:54
Speaker
and As some of y'all know on this channel, I'm not somebody. You just nonchalantly tell what the fuck to do.
05:08:05
Speaker
I don't fucking stand up. Anyway, so I understand the idea of hazing. I understand its ah function, quote unquote, but I'm against it. I think hazing is stupid. I think hazing is for stupid people.
05:08:18
Speaker
And if you think that hazing is somehow there's good, haing about then you have to really sit back and think, hmm, is walking up to somebody and I'm about to lay my hands on them.
05:08:31
Speaker
Without their permission is somehow a good idea. Well, you're wrong. So what happened? this is This was first duty station. I was barely in a year.
05:08:42
Speaker
My second shop. My first shop, I had already gotten in a fight with another airman because he was dumb. and so instead of, because they couldn't like write me up for anything because I defended myself, but yet they didn't like the fact that I stood up for myself.
05:08:59
Speaker
so i was a problem we've all met those guys each but yeah so they moved me to another shop in the bomb though yeah munition storage first day there dude i'm at this time i i'm gonna say i was a cigarette smoker and uh first day in the shop i don't know anybody there you know i just know ah maybe one or two of the airmen that i've met at the fucking chow hall in the dorms but not like a personal level i just know they're And I was like, well, I'm gonna go smoke a cigarette.
05:09:29
Speaker
I was like, well, I'm gonna go smoke a cigarette. I go out to the smoke shack and it's winter. This is in Utah. Right.
05:09:40
Speaker
It's winter. There's snow everywhere. i go out. There's like a couple other airmen and staff sergeant. The staff sergeant, of course, is the ranking person. I'm sitting you here smoking my cigarette. He makes this comment. He goes back in my day. The new person always got whitewashed.
05:09:57
Speaker
He flips. He flips his cigarette and walks in the door. The moment that door shuts, all those other airmen jump on me, tackle me, push me down in the fucking snow and whitewash my ass out of nowhere.
05:10:10
Speaker
I'm pissed. I just got assaulted. and And if anybody wants to go, well, you're just a sensitive little bitch. No, no, no. Walk up to you, punch you in the face and go you're a bitch.
05:10:22
Speaker
Anyways. so So I'm like, so so hold on. But me having the brain I have, I'm like, well, these airmen are only doing it because that staff sergeant Open that door.
05:10:36
Speaker
Yeah. Right. So what do I do? I don't go after the airmen because they're dumb. They're only there. They're just going by what the staffs are. Yeah. They're just they're following the dumbass inside the office.
05:10:48
Speaker
So I fucking make this fucking snowball and I will open up the door. I walk in. I fucking s swing that shit across the fucking office. Yeah. Smack that staff sergeant right in the fucking side of the face.
05:11:00
Speaker
Dude, he got lit up. He fucking tranches over, grabs me by my blouse, picks me up, throws me down on the fucking desk, rears back. He's about to punch me, and he stops.
05:11:13
Speaker
And he's This is going to be fun. Do it. alright
Leaving the Military & Moral Struggles
05:11:18
Speaker
so so i I, as an E-2 in the Air Force, assaulted an E-5.
05:11:27
Speaker
I could have got an Article 15. I could have got a letter of counseling in shop. Do you know why? Because that staff sergeant because that staff sergeant is the initial aggressor.
05:11:44
Speaker
And supervision knew that. If they would have fucking went after me, then... They would have go up to him. And he would have gotten more trouble than me. But, yeah. So, I'm just saying.
05:11:56
Speaker
Well, there's a good... yeah Just nothing much. yeah Just chilling. There's good hazing and bad. What you experience is bad hazing. There's no such thing as good hazing. No, wait, hold It's good hazing. Wait, wait, hold on. Let me explain. Let me explain. Even they...
05:12:11
Speaker
in the When you're on ship and you cross the equator and it's your tour of duty, which means you're on watch. I was told that I, 20 year old kid.
05:12:26
Speaker
I was told you're on watch tonight. Yes. You must watch out for the booze. And I stayed up all fucking night looking for fucking buoys as we crossed the equator.
05:12:37
Speaker
They're not there because it's, and I'm a dumb fucking 20 year old kid. Okay. Okay. So that's good. ha But it's tradition. It's tradition. It's and there was no like beating or something. That's not okay. I, yeah, that is what I consider good hazing.
05:12:53
Speaker
Okay. That's, that's okay. If you consider that hazing, I'll give it to you that that's good hazing because to me, that's just, that's harmless fun. That, that is harmless fun. Exactly. I've seen my buddy had it worse. He had to do it a dress. Yeah.
05:13:07
Speaker
Like age equipment doesn't take a key, but we would mess with the young airmen and be like, hey, go ask control for the age heater key. You know, just fuck around like that. I get that. But hazing, as we know it, typically involves physical assault without consent.
05:13:23
Speaker
So, yeah. Yeah. I mean, there's a reason why it's been outlawed in college. Yeah. Yeah. But the good hazing, like, you know, when you go onto a construction site and it's their first day on a construction site, somebody asks you to go find the board stretcher and you spend an hour left-handed screwdriver, things like that. That's good hazing. That builds character. Go to motor pool and ask them for some blinker fluid because the truck's low.
05:13:49
Speaker
You know, something like that's fun. Like, no, I get that. but what But, like, my story was it was it was physical. Oh, I wouldve thought i would have beat the brakes off that dude.
05:14:01
Speaker
it's there's there's been There's been some other instances I had in the Air Force where I was standing up against authority and I got my pee-pee slap for it, but they couldn't go full bar because they knew.
05:14:13
Speaker
ah knew. he knew I was right. Well, that's the beauty of it. If you're in the right, you get to play. I love to play. So that's actually one of the reasons why interview I needed to do it. I was never kicked out. I got out.
05:14:27
Speaker
and was I was in for 14 and a half years. My enlistment came up, and I decided, you know, after some shit that I had already saw and was was part of that I didn't agree with that I thought was very crooked, I was like, um I'm done. Which is a lot, let's be honest.
05:14:44
Speaker
I'm done. And here's the thing. Before I decided to get out, like... yeah I didn't have the greatest reputation because of my, my anti authoritarian streak, but this is what I found out when I decided not to reenlist.
05:15:01
Speaker
Like I could have reenlisted. Like my performance reports were good enough. Like pass my fucking PT test. Like, like I was like, I was good enough to stay in.
05:15:12
Speaker
but I wasn't good enough to, to, um, be that five. Yeah. yeah But don't get me wrong. I, i I've had, i have my words. I wasn't like a total dirt bag. It's, it's a mixed bag here.
05:15:26
Speaker
But anyway, so I found out when I decided not to reenlist, when it came down, like Huddleston, you reenlisting? Nope. What do you mean? No, you've been in this long. You're not reenlisting. No, i'm I'm done. I'm i'm done.
05:15:41
Speaker
I was in my my shop chief's office explaining or being interrogated, questions as in why I'm not re-enlisting because I don't want to Then I'm in my my my flight chief's office and and my squadron chief and then the first sergeant and then the squadron commander and the flight commander and blah, blah, blah.
05:16:01
Speaker
Come to find out if you're a person in the Air Force that doesn't have any reason to be kicked out and you decide to re-enlist. No, no, it's not that, well, you know why they want to keep you?
05:16:15
Speaker
Because it looks bad on your supervision. Because the squadron commander, that docks them on their EPR. Yeah. Really?
05:16:26
Speaker
I didn't know that because that's why i had everybody and their mother asking me to their office to have me reenlist because it was making them look bad. I got handed... When I found that out, dude, I left ah left the Air Force with the myself pat myself on the back.
05:16:44
Speaker
that um The Navy wasn't like that. like i they They asked me if I were to re-list. No, I've seen enough. Because what I did and what you did, two different things.
05:16:57
Speaker
like My thing is i became ah i became what's known as a conscientious objector. so Which is funny. is my first but When I first joined the the military and learned about that because it was a big thing during like the Vietnam War. There was a lot of talk about that. and i didn't know what that was. and I heard a lot of bad things about It's got a negative undertone.
05:17:19
Speaker
ah yeah Yeah, but I didn't I didn't understand what that was. I always thought oh people say it's bad. So it must be bad and then i was in during the time where Remember the weapons mass destruction they quote-unquote. Yeah and i yeah so look Yeah, and it turned and it turned out it was a big lie.
05:17:40
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Yeah, well When that shit came out saying it was a thing and it it brought us to the point where we use that as as an excuse to attack.
05:17:52
Speaker
We use as as an excuse to play the offensive role and attack Iraq. hope Yes. so No big secret, by the way. No big secret. yeah So during that, um there was the whole shock and awe thing.
05:18:09
Speaker
Those fucking constant carpet bombings. Yeah, I had my hands in that. Like a lot of those bombs, I had hands on. A lot of them were coming from in the theater I was in.
05:18:20
Speaker
I was there. so I was on Overwatch. Yeah. Not during the carbon bomb. If you look at the timing, you wouldn't have been in the Air Force at this time. Anyway. wouldn't have been in the Air Force. Maybe at this time.
05:18:32
Speaker
Anyway. way so Yeah, yeah, yeah, because you are older me. So I've been to Iraq. But yeah, that's fine. But I've never been i Iraq. I was Air Force, so I wasn't in theater like that. But the bombs. No, but you. I was.
05:18:46
Speaker
Yeah. Anyway, my point being, my point being, my point being, my point being is after it came out that that whole WMD shit was a lie It was made up by our country.
05:18:57
Speaker
Oh, I, I, I felt bad. Like, because when we were going through shock and all and all these bombs were being built and I'm delivering it. torquing them, making sure the GPS coordinates are right on the JDAMs and all that. I'm like, oh, man, I'm one of those guys. i yeah and Am I one of those guys are like, well, I just did it because I was told?
05:19:19
Speaker
I didn't want to be that person. But I was that person. I did a bad thing on a lie because I was told to. And i couldn't I couldn't square that in my head.
05:19:31
Speaker
so when i was So when my enlistment was up, I was like, I'm done. i'm out I'm I can't square the circle. You're frozen. I? am i Oh, my battery died. My battery died.
05:19:45
Speaker
That's a weird position to be frozen. It is. You're like, yeah. anyway i'm gonna DJ Blazin in the house. Yeah.
05:19:55
Speaker
But I have my charger right here with my extra battery, so I can swap them out. So anyway, that's when I found out what it meant to be a conscious objector was. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
05:20:07
Speaker
That makes sense. That makes sense. it's It's not something I tell a lot of people, although I just told a lot of people tonight. Like my ex-wife, I don't think understood that. Her family had a problem with it. It's a weird concept. Because a lot of people were like, dude, you were like a few years away from retirement.
05:20:22
Speaker
It didn't matter. It wasn't about money It was about my conscience. I couldn't stay in and have and like live with myself. so update i you know I was on a Overwatch for for two years.
05:20:37
Speaker
And after two years, i was like, I cannot pull this trigger anymore. i was i i I never worked the inspection shop before, but I was familiar with inspection product. Part of that.
05:20:49
Speaker
Yeah. i will try Close with inspection when I work storage and stuff, but yeah. And the bumped off David R. Kelly. I don't know what the hell this is all about.
05:21:02
Speaker
I'm sorry, Leggy. I'm just getting some of your... yeah we're we're kind of behind on that.
05:21:09
Speaker
But yeah, no, I get it. like that That was kind of what happened to me in the Navy. well I got to a point where I was like, I can't i can't do this no more. Because like I pulled that trigger a lot.
05:21:23
Speaker
yeah i Yeah, I got in argument with ah but the e was an E6. I was an E5 at the time. He was an E6. This is when we when I was in Qatar or some people call Qatar.
05:21:37
Speaker
But so we need to mix. OK, so there's there's different classifications of explosives. And then there's like one and then there's like subcategories like 1.1 D or 1.4 E or 1.2 G or buth blah, blah, blah.
05:21:57
Speaker
And those subcategories depend. It kind of relates on. how i So the 1.1, 1.2, 1.3, 1.4 tells you how big the explosive is.
05:22:11
Speaker
The subcategory, if it's a B or G or A or C or D or E, depends on the type of explosive that sets it off. Is percussion? and Is it chemical? Is it blah, blah, blah, blah.
05:22:24
Speaker
And G was one of the ones. Google is your friend. Exactly. I will look up. like Dave... Dr. David Kelly was a weapons inspector suicide. Wow.
05:22:36
Speaker
ah All right, Leggy, take care. I'll look up the David Kelly thing later. i'm just I'm just telling the story. Drive safe. So anyway, so certain explosives can't be transported with other explosives because they're not compatible.
05:22:52
Speaker
And if there's an accident, it causes a bigger issue that unnecessarily needs to be. And i knew this. like When it comes to that kind of stuff, when it comes I knew that. like I was really proficient at the fundamentals of my job. It was just like the...
05:23:09
Speaker
when so when it was unjust, authoritative, abusive power shit that I fucking flexed at. But when it come to my job, doing my job, like, I knew my job. I knew munitions. I knew, like, I knew my shit.
05:23:22
Speaker
like yeah Your day-to-day, you had down path. Yeah, yeah. Like, when it come to the tech technicalities of my job, I knew my fucking job. That's why I was just, I didn't make sense. I was quote-unquote insubordinate on the other shit.
05:23:36
Speaker
you You walked around with the clipboard, didn't you? Uh-huh. I did for a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. But I was fair about it. it was I was fair about it. But that's another story. I wrote up a fucking master sergeant. He was about to retire, but he was running an operation.
05:23:52
Speaker
And he legitimately fucked up. And I wrote him up and that fucking lineup got thrown away because he was retiring. It would make him look bad. And I was like, then what's the point of doing my job?
05:24:05
Speaker
I know, right? And it got taller. I was like, what am I doing out there? Bullshit. oh Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was shit like that. yeah It was shit like that that I would i would fucking pounce my chest. I'm like, what?
05:24:19
Speaker
I'm doing my job right. What are you doing? And then you expect me to be subordinate and have integrity when you don't give it to me from the top? Anyway, so... Welcome to the military, buddy.
05:24:33
Speaker
I forgot where I was going with this. I know where talking about. talking about a conscientious objector. Yeah, yeah, but there was a whole – I never had a problem with higher-ups.
05:24:47
Speaker
you know I did my job. ah i kind of got treated like a pit bull. Ugh. and Oh, I remember where I was going. Okay, yeah so there was there was a tech sergeant. we were at We were at Qatar, and I was loading up the truck, and I loaded it up correctly. You know, i had proper placards, proper compatibility on the um the truck and all that.
05:25:08
Speaker
I was just making a run storage with some shit. and Some ADRs, I think. Anyway, this tech sergeant walks out. He's like, ah you can't you can't roll it like that. I'm like, the fuck I can't?
05:25:22
Speaker
There's nothing wrong with that. He's like, no, that's wrong. It's like, no, it is absolutely correct. When I loaded it, i had my TO checklist. Go fuck yourself, dude. This guy already had a hard-on for me because something to happened at our fucking home base, which don't even want to go into because it does bring in my...
05:25:41
Speaker
my non-belief into it. He did. Dude, I shit, you know, we were sitting in the mobility office and he looked at my dog tag. He's like, you're not a non, you're, you don't believe in God. I'm like, yeah, no. no, give me started.
05:25:53
Speaker
doey yeah Yeah, he, yeah, he he started to scold me right there. I looked at him.
05:26:00
Speaker
This is not the time to do that. Anyway, so he already had this hard on for me. And I was sitting there. I like, dude, go fuck yourself. This shit's tied down correctly. Compatible right. Just go fuck yourself, man. Go away.
05:26:13
Speaker
And he outranked me because I told him to go fuck himself and all that. He got all hissy and pissy. And he went to go tell the shop chief. I was like, I don't give a fuck. I got in the truck went and did the job. I didn't care. got back and I'm...
05:26:27
Speaker
and There's a shop chief. Huddleston, get in here. I'm like, oh, here we go. Jensen went and cried. So I'm sitting there front of Herbert's desk, and Jensen's in the back. sitting Because Jensen, the guy, tech star, he was assistant shop chief.
05:26:43
Speaker
So I pretty much told the assistant shop chief to go fuck himself. And when he's wrong he's wrong it's you know you are he was wrong, he's wrong. And I was sitting there and the shop chief said, he talked to me, told me, you know what he had told me. And I looked him and was like, well, he's wrong.
05:27:01
Speaker
And I showed him, I opened up my books and I showed him what I had. I showed him compatibility chart. And I really didn't even have to. I knew off the top of my head. He's like, he's like, all right, leave. Just get out of my office.
05:27:12
Speaker
All right, cool. And next thing I heard was him yelling at Jensen. yeah book and yellowll I never heard. i knew because this shot you Cause this shop chief, like he's one of those guys. He's like, okay, I get it. People going to make mistakes.
05:27:27
Speaker
Let's find out what's going on. Let's see if we can fix this. Let's make sure this doesn't happen again. That's why he was having a conversation. Right. But explained after i explain everything to him, that I had all my information, that I showed Jensen all the information that I was correct, and he was wrong, he was like, oh, oh so Jensen came to my face and lied to me. Okay, you can leave, and going to take the problem where, yeah. Yeah. And, in like, so there was, like, I ran into a few
05:27:59
Speaker
um ah people in my Air Force career that were you know in an authoritative position over me that, you know, like, oh shit, like, no, he knows what he's fucking talking about. He just doesn't give a fuck about stupid shit.
05:28:13
Speaker
You know what i mean? um so and remember and too many people cared about stupid shit. you can't let Like, I remember one
Challenging Military Authority
05:28:21
Speaker
time, this was, this will okay, so remember me telling me about the story about the snowball thing?
05:28:29
Speaker
right this is This is a story from the exact same shot because my supervision already didn't fucking care for me too much because of this situation. Because of that situation. So this is like maybe You were on everybody's shit list, man. Oh, I was, dude. I didn't. I was beloved.
05:28:46
Speaker
Dude, I didn't care, man. I was like a little monkey that everybody wanted to hang out with. Dude, I joined the military to fucking fight for my country and do my job. I didn't fucking join it to fucking play patty cake with bullshit people.
05:28:57
Speaker
Oh, no. listening That was the difference in our jobs. I was with all the quote-unquote jocks. You were all the... Yeah, I didn't play that kind of shit. But see, I had some people that respected me for it but i had a lot of people that didn't.
05:29:11
Speaker
Anyway, so I was on... i was on I was on stamp. Okay, so... In my career field the Air Force, we would rotate do weekly stand or weekend standby where you're on call.
05:29:22
Speaker
You can't drink. You can't go out of town. You're just sitting around the phone waiting for the fucking call job to call you for whatever reason. And I was on standby one week, never got a call.
05:29:34
Speaker
Next week rolls over. you know, I got my standby list. I'm not on it. I'm out. I'm getting fucked up. I'm drinking karaoke bar. I'm drunk off my ass Saturday at like 5 a.m. in the morning. Apparently I got a phone call that I missed and they were calling in standby Monday rolled around. This is before like answering machines and cell phone. right shit This was like, this was my first duty station. And this was like in 97, 98.
05:30:05
Speaker
And so i go into work Monday. like I, I, I get it. I get a phone call or not a phone call. ah get, I get into work Monday and shop chief's like coming to my office. My supervisor's in there with me. And they're like, what happened this weekend? I'm like, I, I,
05:30:21
Speaker
What do you mean what happened this weekend? went and got hammered. You guys know me. I'm a drunk. yeah I didn't say it like that, but they knew I was a fucking drunk. Everybody was.
05:30:32
Speaker
Oh, man. I was in my 20s. I drank like a fish. and They're like, well, ah you got called in this weekend. Did I? i wasn't on standby. And they pull out the standby list.
05:30:44
Speaker
They're like, see, there you're you're on the list right there. I'm like, well, fuck. I don't think that this stuff that's not the list I have. I got the update list. They're like, oh, shit. But it was too late. I was getting i was getting ah paged by the squadron. Or not the squadron, but the flight chief.
05:31:01
Speaker
The chief of the bomb dump to his office to get yelled at. And so before any word can get up to the chief, I'm already up there in front of his desk in the position of attention, being yelled at, being irresponsible, not not fulfilling my duty. Taking it in like a fucking champ.
05:31:21
Speaker
I'm sitting there and then he gets done and I leave and I'm sitting out there and then my supervisor gets to pull out the fucking list and how control had the wrong list or something. Somewhere the communication broke down that I was not part of.
05:31:35
Speaker
And then next thing I know I'm getting called back in and the chief is left because he's pissed. He's going to ring somebody else out. But the senior master sergeant's there to go, you know what, Airman?
05:31:46
Speaker
We're sorry. We fucked up.
05:31:50
Speaker
And you know what? You see your power not to smile. Oh, man. Yeah. Because, ah you know, you're standing in a table watching your ass disappear.
05:32:07
Speaker
no i see that I think the problem the problem with a lot of my supervision the Air Force is they didn't understand that I understood the difference between justified authority and an the abuse of power.
05:32:21
Speaker
i Like ah the same shop chief in stores that absolutely fucking hated my ass. and Every time something happened, he wanted to wrap me up in it. I know I'm rambling on.
05:32:32
Speaker
I have this back listen to fucking ICP a lot, but I had had a sticker on my back window of my car at the time. And the on-base regulation was any stickers on your rear view, rear window couldn't cover up more than a quarter of the window.
05:32:51
Speaker
so So you could still see. And was like, right, cool. And I put that sticker on, I looked at it and measured, was like, that's less than a quarter of that I'm using on this windshield. So it's it's it's legal according to base regulation.
05:33:05
Speaker
My shop chief was like, take it off. I'm like, why? Because you're not supposed to have, you you read the regulation, it says you're not supposed to have a ah sticker on your windshield that's bigger and blah, blah, blah. I was like, yeah, and that's in my sticker.
05:33:18
Speaker
is smaller than what that regulation says is not legal. He's like, I don't care. Take it off. before But you just told me you wanted me to take it off because it was against regulation.
05:33:29
Speaker
Now you're telling me just to take it off because you don't like it. That's not how this works. I don't care that you're master sergeant and I'm a senior airman. The fact that you want me to take it off because it hurts your feelings, I don't care.
05:33:43
Speaker
no and and yeah it was It was because I would i would and would talk like that, and I would... You'd challenge him. I would. I challenged authority.
05:33:55
Speaker
but But you were in the right when you did so. and Absolutely, I was in the right. Guys like that, you know I learned very quickly on... Guys like that in the military, they just want to show that they they got the biggest dick.
05:34:07
Speaker
And you're like, yeah, dude, you don't. Calm down. Well, no, that's like the majority of the military though. we yeah yeah Like there's this mentality that you're not supposed to question authority at all.
05:34:18
Speaker
But at the same time, there's a, there's, there are, there is regulation against the abuse of power. There is regulation against fraud, waste and abuse and all this shit. And if somebody is abusing their power and they're using their personal feelings to tell somebody you do something, well, that's an abuse of power.
05:34:37
Speaker
If it doesn't reflect the regulations, uh, You're abusing your power. And I'll call you a cow. well and and you know and this and this is And this is the mentality that I don't like. Is that we're... Excuse
05:34:51
Speaker
me. We're out in the military. You're being told not to question authority. But if you don't question authority, then those abuse those abuses of power will never get caught.
05:35:06
Speaker
They'll just... they' just so just happen. Well, if they get away with it enough times, they just think it's rule. Yeah. So you can't sit there and tell people not to abuse power and then teach people, you know, not to question.
05:35:21
Speaker
Make sure you're real. Sorry. no but yeah No, I get that. you know the certain There's guys in the military like that all the time. They just think, well, I'm higher ranked than you. You have to do what I say. it it out it's something it's It's like that's the majority of the military, though. oh yeah ryan Ryan Grimshaw.
05:35:39
Speaker
We need to see your reel. You can come up, but we just don't like blanket. We can't bring you up without camera on at least for long enough. yeah must we just We've been trolled too much.
05:35:51
Speaker
So just turn your camera on. Give us the deuces. Turn your camera off. We'll bring you up, dude. Yeah. He was a troll. He was a troll. Yeah, 100%. I mean, I know we got the open door challenge. Anybody's welcome up.
05:36:05
Speaker
There are regulations. Yes. Just to avoid the penises on camera. yes but if you want to if you If you want to have your camera off while streaming, that's cool. But before we bring you up, turn your camera off,
05:36:21
Speaker
give us the deuces so we know you're real and we'll bring you up, dude. It might be free. Depends on who it is. we've been We've been trolled by people trying to imitate friends of ours that we're like we don't even question and we bring them up.
05:36:36
Speaker
I haven't seen that in a while, though. No, that hasn't happened a long time. I think those trolls kind of went away. And they they only usually happen with clicks here.
05:36:46
Speaker
Let's be honest. ah No, but yeah, when it comes to weird shit that happens in the military like that, it's sad to say it's a daily occurrence.
05:36:59
Speaker
Yeah, and so I just have to tell anybody that's in the military planning to join the military. You're going to hear the idea of the abuse of power is bad.
05:37:10
Speaker
You're also going to hear the idea of not questioning authority because that'll make you look bad or blah, blah, blah. But you can't, those two ideas can't coexist.
05:37:22
Speaker
Well, the culture comes down you you can't, you can't, you can't sit there and weed out the abuse of power without questioning authority. Agreed. ah But I mean, that's what that whole movie, A Few Good Men's about.
05:37:37
Speaker
Mm-hmm. Yep, it is. bring it we because actually sha told this guy co red I think that's where all this this whole conversation... I triggered you! I triggered you!
05:37:48
Speaker
Oh, I call that a fucking win in my book. Oh, yeah. Mark that on my box. No, because, I mean, that's... that I love what I triggered, Blaze.
05:37:59
Speaker
um It's one of those things, it's like if you if you're just blindly following orders... blindly following orders You're going to end up with your ass in a slit.
05:38:12
Speaker
And that's, like said, that's the whole point of that movie. is like you can you You follow orders, yes. Oh, okay. But blindly following orders is bad. meant to unmute myself and I removed myself instead.
05:38:25
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, blindly following orders is not the military that we should have. Agreed. And I'm not saying everybody in military is like that. A lot of people...
05:38:38
Speaker
are not like that, and I hope they're not like that. i never ran into and something like that. really it's Really? It's all over the place. and like well well Here's the thing, though. i I was constantly the new guy.
05:38:53
Speaker
Because I moved around a lot. It was just me and Jimmy. We were everywhere. because that's we were We were a floating sniper and spotter team. And we were overwatching everybody.
05:39:05
Speaker
It was wonderful.
05:39:10
Speaker
But it's one of those things like when when it comes to your not every order is charge this hill.
05:39:22
Speaker
Take this machine gun nester. it's It's stupid shit like that. You know, it's one thing if you're asked to secure a hill. Okay, you do what you yeah I get it. I got the assignment.
05:39:35
Speaker
But if it's like, like you said, remove this sticker because I don't like it. Fuck you. Eat a few bag of six. but When I was stationed in in Northern California, God, what was that chief's name? Chief Culp.
05:39:51
Speaker
Chief Culp. He was the chief in USAPI for a while. Then he came over and was the chief at AFCOMAC at Bill Air Force Base. Chief Culp. This motherfucker, dude.
05:40:03
Speaker
I, uh, Oh, God, how's how's this play out? Okay, this guy had a ease guy did not like me. I was i was ah was out ah without one when one weekend with my family.
05:40:17
Speaker
okay My wife and my my my two kids at the time. And I was not on standby. i was out i was out in town. another stat i was a staff I was a staff sergeant at this time. was an E5. Another staff in the shop calls me. He was on standby then.
05:40:35
Speaker
He calls me. He goes, hey, man, ah have an emergency I have to go take care of family emergency, but I have to go in for like four hours because Airman so-and-so has extra duty this weekend, and I just need somebody to babysit him.
05:40:53
Speaker
i was like, okay, um when how soon? He's like in about a half an hour, and I looked at the time. I was like, About a half hour away. Yeah, okay, I can do it.
05:41:05
Speaker
No worries. I was like, fine, sweet. Okay, I'm going to right there. thirty phase right there
05:41:13
Speaker
Previous weekend, I go on an MWR trip, ah Morale, Welfare, and Recreation, to a to a beer festival going on in California, some craft beer thing.
05:41:26
Speaker
you know I paid $10 for the bus bus fare.
05:41:30
Speaker
get there. I pay my money at the door. I can try whatever beer I want. In the MWR, I got a bus ride back to the base. No worries. right No harm, no foul. It's something military bases do. I think it's it's a great idea. yeah I'm not going to lie. i I got a little drunk.
05:41:46
Speaker
in There was a bunch of us ammo troops there too. Yeah. So anyway, on the bus trip back, I'm sitting up close to the front where I'm sitting there chit chatting with the bus driver at the same time.
05:41:58
Speaker
You know, he's, he's, A bunch of his ammo troops are hooping and hollering. Not like too crazy, but we're fun. enough to be loud. He has no problem with it. like He's in good spirits and yada, yada, yada.
05:42:12
Speaker
As we're pulling up close to the base gate, the guy in front of me sits up and out of nowhere starts yelling at people to shut the fuck up. And i' look up at him. I'm i' like, I don't really think that's the way to take care of this, man.
05:42:27
Speaker
And he got pissed. He goes, let me see your ID. He pulls out his ID. He's a fucking butter bar lieutenant. Does he outrank me? Absolutely.
05:42:38
Speaker
does he Does he have a fucking goddamn position to stand on in this situation? Not really, but that's not the way my chief's going to see it. So anyway, ah show him my ID because he asked for it. He's a lieutenant. I'm not going sit here and be insubordinate in that kind of situation. I show He's like, you're just a staff sergeant. You should shut the fuck up.
05:42:57
Speaker
And so he now he knows my name. That's why he wanted to see my ID. Right. Right. Fast forward back to this weekend. I'm coming in to cover for another staff sergeant for this airman doing extra duty.
05:43:09
Speaker
I'm sitting there and bu blah, blah, blah. Airman's out in the fucking bay doing the sweeping and mopping. I'm just in there just fucking wasting time. I'm in civilian clothes. He's in uniform.
05:43:22
Speaker
Anyway, turns out that Chief Culp and a couple of the fucking and other flight leadership was down the hall in work that day. I don't know why.
05:43:33
Speaker
And here's Chief Culp coming down like, oh, oh, what are you doing here? I'm like, I'm babysitting this airman because he's got extra duty. He's like, oh, okay. He gives me a look, looks me up and down. I'm not in uniform.
05:43:47
Speaker
He's like, all right. He's like, come down to my office in 10 minutes. I'm like, okay. I'm sitting there and thinking of myself this whole 10 minutes. I'm like, oh, motherfucker.
05:43:58
Speaker
Oh, motherfucker. This is going to good
05:44:03
Speaker
and walk All had to do was say I'm 10, 20 miles farther away and i could have gotten there. Yeah. And I walked down there. First thing, he's like, why are you on duty and not in uniform watching an airman? And I explained it to him. I was like, look, Sergeant Nelson, he's actually supposed to be here right now.
05:44:19
Speaker
He had an emergency come up. He called me. I was literally in town with my family. This airman was supposed to be in at such and such time. I literally had no time to go home and change.
05:44:32
Speaker
Mind you, I'm in my 20s. I'm in the ICP. My hair's standing straight up with fucking goddamn hair gel. yeah
05:44:44
Speaker
I'm wearing a red long sleeve t-shirt with a black fucking work shirt over it wearing fucking saggy jeans, dude. Nice.
05:44:54
Speaker
ah For those that don't know. So after I explained that whole thing. I explained that whole thing to him and it's he has this look on his face like, fuck, there's nothing I can really do against that.
05:45:09
Speaker
You know what I mean? Because really wasn't supposed to. He wants to bust you so bad. I'm covering for another staff. I came in with very little, you know, make sure this airman, you know, I did everything I possibly could, you know, for the, you know.
05:45:22
Speaker
So there's that. So, but he brings up the last weekend at the NWR because he gets this email from this lieutenant how the staff sergeant in his flight was disrespectful to him. This whole thing, how I yelled at this youth lieutenant and fucking dogged him and all this fucking bullshit.
05:45:39
Speaker
and And if the only way I can get out of paperwork is if I just write an apology letter to this lieutenant. I looked at the chief. I was like, write me paperwork. He's like, what? i was like, write me up paperwork.
05:45:52
Speaker
He's like, all you have to do is write an apology to him. All you got to do is write up that paperwork. And he's like he's like, this is going to be a letter of reprimand. like I don't care. He's like, this going to affect your EPR. I don't care.
05:46:03
Speaker
Write me up paperwork. Yep. Go ahead. He was just like, don't know. And this motherfucker, dude, we had a fucking, right.
05:46:14
Speaker
So this was AFCOMAC. And we had a lot of fucking. That's a scare tactic though. He wasn't going to write. It is. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because like. this is Chief Colt from USAFE. He was the chief of all of fucking USAFE ammo at one time. Like, this guy had stones. Like, this guy was respected.
05:46:36
Speaker
for so this For some fucking E5 staff sergeant to look at him and call his buck and like, give me paperwork, was not something he experienced much. at Yeah. You know what?
05:46:46
Speaker
The look on his face was probably priceless. It was. Oh, it absolutely was. Like, that's the one of the times where you just want to go, me. yeah That lieutenant was in the wrong That lieutenant was in the wrong he sent that email fucking And I have no I can't sit there and argue Like oh yeah I mean It's just fucking give me the paperwork kindnna I'm not gonna I'm not gonna capitulate You know yeah No, but like they they they do that here a lot.
05:47:13
Speaker
Like I had borrowed a car. i was I was repainting a PT Cruiser and it was a friend of mine. So i was driving the car and I went to go pick up paint and stuff and I got pulled over.
05:47:25
Speaker
yeah here in Mexico. And, you know, I've been driving, handed my driver's license and all that fun stuff. so And the weird thing is when you get pulled over Mexico, they actually have you step out of the car, which, you know, I was always taught bad, bad idea to get all the car.
05:47:37
Speaker
I don't get out of the car because I'm basically told since getting a driver's license, don't get out of car unless cop tells So I'm sitting waiting in the car and he's, he, he's waiting at his car.
05:47:50
Speaker
Sitting there with all my thumbs. like Why didn't you get out of the car? I'm like, whoa. I was always told not to. He's like, well, get out of the car. He says, you were speeding. I was like, it's 60 kilometers an hour here. He's like, yeah, I was i was doing 60.
05:48:05
Speaker
He's like, well, I had you at 68. I'm like, okay. He's like, I'm going to have to give you a ticket. He basically wanted to pay off. and I was like, okay, write it up. and He's like, well, you're going to have to go to court.
05:48:17
Speaker
Okay, write it up. I'll wait. I got time. That motherfucker kept me there for two hours. I'm going to have to give you ticket. Go ahead and write it up. I'm waiting. Because he wanted a payoff.
05:48:30
Speaker
He wanted to earn a pay-offs. I heard about that shit down there. You can get... I've got out speeding... got caught doing 160 kilometers an hour.
05:48:40
Speaker
you call you call their bluff You call their bluff and they're like, it takes all their takes all their power away. Yeah. like
Pranks & Solidarity in the Military
05:48:47
Speaker
Well, I was going through the hunt hotel zone. Hotel zone speed limit is 60 kilometers hour. I was doing 120 kilometers an hour in my Malibu.
05:48:58
Speaker
And I got pulled over. and they're And I got out of because I gave the guy 200 pesos. 10 bucks. ten buck I was like, he's like, let me see your license. And wrapped my license with a 200 basis bill and handed to And he handed me back my license without the 200 basis bill and goes, drive slower and walked away.
05:49:18
Speaker
It was fucking awesome. All right. Now, now that I've told stories where, um, I was in the right, but I was just being a fucking... You were a hero? I was being a fucking stubborn son of bitch. Actually, that's not the real definition of stubbornism, but... No, but you were in the right. There were times in the Air Force where I did do something wrong, and they had me dead to rights, but I was... So when cops show up, don't
05:49:53
Speaker
Shut the fuck up. Amen. i was at I was at a house party. I was at a house party. I'm not going to say when. Jesse Payne, what's up, dog? Anyway, I was at a house party, and it was toward the end of the party, and a lot of people left, and we were bored, and we were like, hey, let's this prank phone call the fucking suicide hotline.
05:50:13
Speaker
and
05:50:16
Speaker
aye
05:50:20
Speaker
Great idea at the time, I'm sure. yeah We were only on there for, a like ah I swear to God, less than a minute fucking around. i you i don't honestly don't even remember what the fuck we said. I'm going to myself and thirty like thirty forty minutes later, dude we're all sitting there and the fucking security force is pulled up.
05:50:42
Speaker
Walked in the backyard like, how's everything going, guys? So here's the thing. When it comes to, like, cops on base compared to cops off base, cops on base can just roll up into your fucking backyard.
05:50:54
Speaker
Trust me. If they have the reason to be there, they can just do it. Yeah, it's, ooh, it's uncool. Anyway, so we're sitting there fucking, sitting around the fucking fire pit, sitting there just drinking, getting drunk, me, Jesse, another and motherfucker.
05:51:08
Speaker
I can't remember his name. It's already an E. Elijah? I don't know. ah Anyway, so the cops were like, yeah, we got o apparently somebody here called the suicide hotline. We're like, no, those are not yeah no we're not.
05:51:24
Speaker
Nobody here did it. and we're all we're None of us are like admitting to anything. So eventually i eventually they leave. call back Well, next week rolls around and I get a call. Go talk to the chief.
05:51:40
Speaker
nice And he's like, somebody ratted. Yeah, somebody might have. Well, I mean, that's that's the thing. Nobody ratted. at Houston's idea. No, Supreme Force is like, this is this is the people we talk to.
05:51:55
Speaker
Everybody knows where they work now. So it's all about finding their supervision and calling the right people. You know what I mean? Right. You weren't the other one called in, right? ah Exactly. ah Yeah, we were all called in one at a time, all three of us.
05:52:08
Speaker
And none of us, none of us admitted to anything. Oh, no, you never. break but but But supervision knew in the back of their head, they knew we were lying. Oh, yeah. oh but du we we But they couldn't do anything because none of us ratted each other out. Exactly. There was no proof. There was just an anonymous call to a suicide hotline.
05:52:28
Speaker
And the thing is, in the suicide hotline, all they're going to do is call with an address. They didn't call with the phone number. They just called with an address. Yeah. I was to say, because they didn't have the phone.
05:52:39
Speaker
Yeah. I don't know. it was a it was it was interesting. I just played. I was like, I didn't make the phone call. I was like, yeah i was like I looked at the chief. I like, even if that phone call was made when I was there, i didn't do it.
05:52:54
Speaker
I was just kind of like. I got, I actually, one of one of my favorite stories that I got away with is I knew I was going to Korea and I took my S-10 with me because I know it was going on ship.
05:53:09
Speaker
And I gave a buddy a case of Jack. And he loaded my fucking truck up next to fucking airplanes on the fucking aircraft carrier and wrapped it with a tarp.
05:53:19
Speaker
And we took it to fucking Korea. And while it was while we were in Korea, i had the i motor swapped it, put a B8 in it and all that shit. And I got in trouble for doing burnouts and in the shop.
05:53:33
Speaker
I got in trouble because I was sitting there doing burnouts in shop and fucking chief the boat walks and of course there's smoke everywhere.
05:53:42
Speaker
What's going on? like, i have no idea. but such yeah Next thing you know, I'm sitting in hook in his office and he's like, what are you doing? I'm like, I have no idea what you're talking about.
05:53:53
Speaker
He's like, we
Closing Remarks & Merchandise Promotion
05:53:55
Speaker
have cameras. I'm like, yeah. i ended up I ended up having to go on watch for like four days.
05:54:08
Speaker
Never supposed to get caught, my man. Never supposed to get caught. It was one of those things. It's like we just finished tuning the motor. Because we're in the middle of the fucking ocean. Oh, no. We did shit like that. We weren't supposed to bring our fucking vehicles in the fucking trailer maintenance bay. But that's where all the good tools and the lift was.
05:54:29
Speaker
Yeah. But just put I just looked at the time. Jeff. I know. I know. Wow. I it's got me rent got rambling on about whatever the fuck.
05:54:42
Speaker
Yeah, I was going say, I love when you get going because I'm like, I can just sit back and watch this clock. I got tons of stories, man. I got a lot of stories. When you're a rebellious... I got in trouble for water skiing.
05:54:56
Speaker
When you're rebellious motherfucker like me, you got lots of stories. Anyway. I got in trouble for water skiing next to an aircraft carrier. Well, let's save it for next Saturday. We've got to close this bitch down.
05:55:06
Speaker
Let's go. Thanks, everybody, for watching. Thanks for him to listening. We are live every single Saturday, 7 Eastern, 8 Central. Is that right?
05:55:19
Speaker
Yeah. Sure. No. I don't fucking know. Close enough. so it's It's fucking 1 o'clock in the morning. I don't give a Eastern and Central, Mountain Pacific. I think you're right. Yeah, I am right. Thank you. 5, 6, 7, 8. Yeah.
05:55:32
Speaker
Anyways, nonsensical bio.link slash nonsensical network. Everything we do we is there. And don't forget, I haven't done it tonight. and I've been meaning to.
05:55:49
Speaker
Beauty in the Beard Creative Corner on Facebook, Instagram. Go ahead and order yourself some merch. And as always, I say the same thing. Get my shirt, my face on a shirt just to piss off Nicky.
05:56:01
Speaker
I'm just saying. I want to sell 2,000 of them just to piss off Nicky. So thanks for everybody watching. Thanks for listening. Blaze, what are you got to tell the people? Man, it was great talking tonight. Y'all i have a great weekend. And I really don't have any words of wisdom except don't play Bleak Frog with a unicorn.
05:56:19
Speaker
Deuces. I haven't done that in while. We used to do that all time. Bye.