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Pregnancy Part 1{Episode 6}
126 Plays6 years ago
The Outnumbered moms, Bonnie and Audrey have so much to say about pregnancy that this is part 1 of 2 episodes on the topic! In part 1 we cover pre-pregnancy days, and the first trimester and second trimester. You can be sure that with all the kids we have, we know quite a few things to help you get through these pregnancy days. From nausea to miscarriage, anxiety to cravings, exhaustion to weird things people say, we laugh our way through these topics in depth!
Show notes:
Audrey's recommended liquid prenatal vitamin
Bonnie's recommended gummy vitamins and liquid iron supplement
Bonnie's blog post about dealing with nausea
Bonnie's maternity clothing recommendations from H&M.
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to Hosts and Motherhood Journey
00:00:11
Speaker
Hello and welcome to Outnumber the Podcast. I'm Bonnie. And I'm Audrey. And we're moms to a combined total of 16 kids with two more on the way. Yes, we know that sounds insane, and it usually is. But we're here to share the tips that help us keep our sanity and to share inspiring thoughts that help us get through each crazy day. Uninterrupted conversation is foreign to us, but we'll try. And we invite you to join us on our journey as we find joy in the chaos of motherhood.
Episode Introduction and Pregnancy Overview
00:00:46
Speaker
Hello and welcome to Outnumbered the Podcast. I'm Audrey. And I'm Bonnie. And this is episode number six. Today we've got a really fun topic, but first Bonnie, I have a question for you. How many months of your life have you spent pregnant? Oh, a lot. A quick calculation, I'm thinking probably like
00:01:11
Speaker
80 months. So that's like six some odd years, solid years of pregnancy. And actually we're both pregnant right now while we're recording this podcast. That's right. So the seconds are ticking as we talk.
00:01:29
Speaker
So yeah, so I've been pregnant about the same amount of time too. So what I'm the point I'm getting at is that makes us pretty qualified to talk about pregnancy, right? I guess so. I guess so. Yeah. In fact, we have so much to say about pregnancy that we couldn't really limit ourselves to just one episode. So today we're going to discuss part one before pregnancy and the first and second trimesters.
Pregnancy Experiences and Social Reactions
00:01:53
Speaker
Things like what happens both inside and outside as well as mentally, physically and emotionally.
00:01:59
Speaker
Yeah, for sure. We're going to share some things that have helped us, things we've learned to avoid, as well as some horrible things that people say to pregnant women. In fact, that's this week's segment. And since the things that people have said to me are not able to be said on a family friendly podcast, why don't you share something?
00:02:23
Speaker
Well, to be honest, I haven't had anything really horrible, some snide remarks here and there. But especially as my kids have gotten older, I don't go out in public with all of them very often anymore. And when I do, I'm too busy dealing with them to, you know, talk to random strangers. But I do remember specifically when I was pregnant with the twins, so they were my fourth and fifth kids. I was huge, you know, and I would go out to run errands.
00:02:49
Speaker
I usually buy myself because I don't want to deal with three toddlers as well. And people would say, oh my gosh, are you going to have that baby tomorrow?
00:03:00
Speaker
six weeks. I was like, no, I have three months to go. And their eyes would get really big. Oh my gosh. And I'd say, yeah. And then they'd say, boy or a girl? And I'd say, well, two girls actually. And their eyes would get even bigger. Twins. Oh my goodness. And then they'd say, are these your first babies? And I'd say, no, these are numbers four and five. And then their eyes would fall out of their head. And I'd just have to go on my way while they picked their job off the floor. But I was pretty funny. So I tried to not start conversations if I didn't have like 20 minutes of shock and awe to go through.
00:03:32
Speaker
That reminds me of when I was pregnant with my second and I was actually overdue. I actually ended up about two and a half weeks overdue by the time he was born. And so I'd have so much fun. People would say, oh, when are you doing? I'd say, two weeks ago.
00:03:50
Speaker
That is always fun last Sunday. And they look at you like you're a ticking time bomb, right? No, please don't have that baby here. They slowly back away.
Educating Daughters about Pregnancy
00:04:03
Speaker
So before we dive into pregnancy, let's talk about pre-pregnancy days. So Bonnie, here's an interesting question. What will you tell your daughters to help them prepare for pregnancy?
00:04:14
Speaker
Hmm. That's a good thought actually. I haven't given much thought to that because I feel like my girls have gotten a lot of exposure to pregnancy and to babies just by being in our family, you know, definitely pregnant a lot and seeing new babies around. And so they totally think it's a normal part of life, which I love. Um, but I think that when they get a little bit older to see things from a little bit more mature perspective, I think I'll share, be sure to share both
00:04:39
Speaker
sides of pregnancy emotionally as far as being both excited and anticipating the pregnancy and the baby, and also understanding that there's some more anxiety there. I think that often moms go into it and expect one or the other for sure, but are maybe surprised by the other, you know? And usually it's excitement. Excitement is not a surprising feeling. You're anticipating a new baby, especially if it's a welcome one. You're super excited. But sometimes it can be scary to realize how
00:05:07
Speaker
anxious you are about it or the worries that come, right? And then especially along those lines in regards to birth, right? There's so much stigma and so many erroneous thoughts and ideas about birth that I really want my girls to have a really honest view of what to expect.
00:05:25
Speaker
Yeah, definitely. I feel like having my teenage daughters see me pregnant has been really healthy and realistic for them. I think I'm going to tell my daughters like, well, besides common sense things, you know, obvious ones like avoid hard living and things that destroy your body. I think I'm going to want to talk to my daughters about what a special time pregnancy is. There's so much that people just
00:05:51
Speaker
Like, I don't know, maybe they project onto pregnant women, but it's like there's so much, oh, negativity or just scared. You know, people always telling a pregnant woman your birth horror story, you know?
00:06:07
Speaker
Exactly. Yeah, for sure, to be excited about it. And also, I love what you said about warning them to prepare their body for pregnancy, right? So when you're young, you think you're completely invincible, you can do and eat and act however you want and nothing's ever going to affect you. And then all of a sudden, the next thing you know, you're 35 and falling apart.
00:06:30
Speaker
And that's, you know, and then all of a sudden you're prime, you know, pregnancy years and thinking, Oh, this is a lot harder than I thought. Oh, I didn't prepare myself physically as far as good nutrition and exercise habits and really being in tune with your body. I think that more than anything in my entire life, uh, being pregnant and giving birth has been the most eyeopening as to how miraculous and also how fragile my body is. Right. Oh yeah, definitely. Yeah.
00:07:00
Speaker
Definitely. But like what you said about it being a miracle, it is just amazing. Like every time I have life inside of me, I'm just like in awe. And I think I'd like to like teach my daughters how to focus on that. Like you make it harder for yourself by focusing on the negative. So just think about how amazing it is.
00:07:21
Speaker
Yeah, for sure. And that is so true in regards to motherhood in general, right? We can sit around and gripe and complain about everything because there's a lot to complain about someday. But to think mostly about the positive and the miraculous aspect and what a journey it is, I think one of the biggest blessings to motherhood in general, and this might sound weird though, is that so many women struggle with infertility now.
00:07:46
Speaker
because I think it kind of gives society a new perspective on motherhood. When
Gratitude and Infertility Struggles
00:07:51
Speaker
our parents were young and having kids, it was just what you did. I don't think people walked around talking about what a miracle it was. Maybe they did, but it was just kind of a fact of life. And nowadays I have so many friends and family members that struggle with infertility that it makes you put your own pregnancies in a much
00:08:08
Speaker
better light, right? Like I'm a lot more hesitant to complain about things or to gripe or to, especially publicly, because I think there are so many women that would kill for this opportunity. I need to be grateful, you know, and there's no reason not to be grateful. It's just easy to complain sometimes.
00:08:26
Speaker
Yeah, some of the things we're going to talk about are the reason why a lot of women complain. But, you know, I think we're going to be able to share some tips and tricks and stuff that have helped us be able to get through, let's see, what are we on, eight and a half pregnancies now? Well, and I do have to say that I have this wonderful blessing of having a really terrible memory. I just can't remember things.
00:08:49
Speaker
And people were like, how do you do this many kids? I was like, well, just forget what the pregnancy and birth is like. And then it happens again. I'm like, oh, yeah, that's right. But also, once you have a couple of kids, it just kind of becomes this normal part of life. And it's no longer this big, horrible. I mean, you're busy with other kids and things. It's just kind of a regular part of life and becomes easier to deal with the highs and the lows, you know?
00:09:11
Speaker
Yes, I love that. That's right. And for a few generations back, it was just a normal part of life. So we're just, I don't know, throwbacks? Are we throwbacks, Bonnie? I guess. I'm so vintage. Okay, let's dive into the first trimester. In some ways, this can be a lonely trimester because, well, at the very beginning, only you and your spouse know about the pregnancy.
Pregnancy Announcements and Miscarriages
00:09:37
Speaker
Yeah, for sure. And there's usually a lot of emotional baggage that comes along with that. There can be anything from surprise to an unplanned pregnancy to great excitement for one that's been planned or worked hard for or had to go through infertility procedures for.
00:09:57
Speaker
And then anxiety, any imaginable emotion can go through your mind. And oftentimes, like you said, you don't have anybody to share it with. That can be hard. Right. So when do you guys decide when to announce? Well, it's funny because I'm a really loud mouth person who shares everything. But when it comes to pregnancy, I usually kind of keep it close to the belt for a long time. Just no pun intended.
00:10:25
Speaker
I think it's kind of fun to have that exciting announcement and I feel like the longer you wait, the more exciting it gets, you know? And then also I think just like anyone, I'm nervous about an early miscarriage and I like to have things pretty well secured down before I go telling the whole world.
00:10:41
Speaker
Although, that being said, I have changed my mind a little bit on that in the past. I've read a couple of comments and blog posts by people who have chosen to share their news early and then lost a baby and what that means to them. And they've said that it's often a lot less lonely.
00:11:00
Speaker
than it would have been otherwise. Like you said, that first trimester is kind of lonely. And imagine losing a baby is even more so, but having shared it before, nobody likes to, until a pregnancy, oh yeah, actually I'm not pregnant anymore. But it really brings us closer to our friends and family members to say, this is something I'm struggling with. And people are more likely to reach out and give you help when you need it and be less lonely at that time.
00:11:23
Speaker
Definitely. We've experienced several miscarriages. I don't know about you guys. So we've had several and it's like always been before we've told or before we've told anyone besides like, you know, parents or something. Yeah. And it is it's isolating because like
00:11:40
Speaker
you had all this expectation and this excitement. And then like, you don't have to tell people, but then you also can't share with them what you're feeling either. Cause you go from this huge excitement to this disappointment and you're experiencing it all kind of on your own or just with a couple close family members. And that that's really hard.
00:11:59
Speaker
It is. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good point. Not like I would ever want to have another miscarriage, but I think I would be open to sharing it earlier and then being open to the loss as well. Yeah. Well, and you know, I had no idea how common miscarriages were before I started, before I was well into having kids. I just thought that, you know, every pregnancy was viable and then every now and again, this tragedy would happen. But
00:12:26
Speaker
It is hugely common and totally normal. That's just your body's way of dealing with a pregnancy that's not viable or that's going to yield a baby with a lot of problems. And so for us to talk about it more makes those who are going to go through it just feel so much better about their situation. There's nothing wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with your pregnancy or your body. It's just nature's way of dealing with things and how much that can help other people.
00:12:51
Speaker
And that's exactly why, um, I wouldn't share about a miscarriage in the past because, um, I was afraid people would think that I had done something wrong because you know, that is one of the things that go through your mind. What did I do wrong? Yeah. And so, you know, to be doubting yourself and then have other people kind of confirm that by doubting you too. I mean, that was my fear. Right. Right. Which no one's thinking.
00:13:17
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. No, but you're right. It is very common miscarriage and it's, it's actually kind of like you do feel the, you know, the loss and the grief, but it is your body's kind of a victory in being able to take care of something that wasn't going to work. Yeah, exactly. And what's interesting is every time I have a healthy full term baby, I look at this baby and think, what a flipping miracle that
00:13:42
Speaker
All those things, I mean, billions of cells and little neurons and things that had to come together at just the right time and just the right way to create this beautiful, healthy baby. And I often think, how come we don't get more kids with disabilities or with other problems when they're born? And I'm like, it's because of miscarriage, because the body recognizes early a lot of the time this baby is not, this body's not working out. You know, let's just start over.
00:14:11
Speaker
And that's really a really miraculous thing if you think about it like that. It doesn't feel that way when it happens, but it really is cool. Yeah,
First Trimester Physical Changes
00:14:18
Speaker
yeah. Okay, so now let's talk about ways to announce because I've seen some really fun ways. In fact, I really love the way that you announced your latest pregnancy on Instagram. Thanks. Yeah, you got to get kind of creative after it's been a while.
00:14:33
Speaker
You've done everything you've tried. You've tried everything so far. One thing my husband said to me on an earlier pregnancy was, honey, if you project excitement about, you know, child number, whatever, seven, eight, nine, then everybody else will be excited too. But if you express, um, you know, disappointment or, uh, here's another idea, everybody else is going to do that too. I totally agree that. And I do have to say that even though I've been super excited about every pregnancy, it does get to,
00:15:02
Speaker
just not quite as thrilling because you know what you're getting into, you know, like every baby I've wanted and been excited to meet, but especially the nine months, you know, the anticipating the nine months of being kind of cranky and tired and large makes it kind of harder. And so I've gone through the same thing in my mind. Okay.
00:15:23
Speaker
I need to get out there and project that this baby is as exciting as baby number one so that everybody else realizes that because it is. It's just that it becomes kind of more of the norm. And so you're not, you know, you just kind of, oh, okay, here another one. Sure. Right. People don't throw you a baby shower for baby number seven. Right. Right. And so you have to, yeah, I like that. That whatever you, whatever emotions you project, that's what everybody else is going to pick up on.
00:15:48
Speaker
All right. So internally, in that first trimester, there's a ton of stuff going on, right? The baby is going from two cells to basically looking like a baby, even though a little bit anything like. And you don't yet feel the baby, so everything can seem kind of surreal. That first ultrasound is always like,
00:16:08
Speaker
what, there really is something inside. So most of your babies vital organs grow in form. You see that those later, you know, by the time you see the gender of your baby, which is moving on to, you know, second trimester, but it's like, Oh my gosh, I know what that is. I can see those arms anymore. It's it's a total miracle.
00:16:36
Speaker
Yes. Externally what's happening to you in the first trimester is like a little expanding like all over your body. You know, you just start, your clothes start fitting less and you know, you're expanding, but it's not, again, it's not noticeable. So if you've chosen not to announce early, then you know, you can just wear a looser clothes, but you do expand sooner. Well, at least I do expand sooner after the first pregnancy, like the first pregnancy that skin is getting stretched out for the first time. Yeah, it takes a little while.
00:17:06
Speaker
And after that, your body's like, hey, I know what to do. Exactly. One of my favorite analogies, somebody said, it's like blowing up a balloon for the first time. There's some resistance, right? And then you finally kind of pop. And then when you blow up that same balloon a second and a third time, it's like, oh, you're already lumpy.
Managing First Trimester Symptoms
00:17:23
Speaker
And then there's lots of other physical symptoms besides just looking a little bit rounder is that oftentimes nausea is really common in the first trimester, especially exhaustion. A lot of people are really surprised by how tired they are in the first trimester. And my husband always teases me. He's like, yeah, the baby's like the size of a quarter now. You must be exhausted. I'm like, shut up. I am. It's strange though. Your body goes through that.
00:17:49
Speaker
I take so many naps in the first trimester. Yeah. That's usually one of my first, uh, first clues is like, Oh, I am tired. In fact, one time I was, I can't remember what baby was pregnant with maybe number six. And I had, we hadn't told anybody, it was still pretty early on, but I was feeling sick and super tired. And one time my mom just stopped by without, um, calling and everyone was at the table eating dinner. They were eating, I don't know, some healthy meal. And I was laying flat on my back on the couch eating Taco Bell.
00:18:21
Speaker
And she looked at my family, she looked at me and goes, are you pregnant? I'm so funny. Yes, I am. So that moves us onto weird food cravings or food aversions. Smells are super strong in the first trimester. That was one thing that really surprised me. I went to the grocery store and the two aisles I couldn't stand walking down were the meat aisle or near the deli and cleaning supplies or pet food.
00:18:50
Speaker
They just smelled so strong. I'm like, oh my God, I can smell dog food. I want to barf. So bad. During this pregnancy, early on my husband, he had to go somewhere on the plane and he came back and I was taking his clothes to the suitcase and I'm like, I smelled his sweater and I was like,
00:19:09
Speaker
Okay, did a woman wearing perfume give you a hug or something? He was blank for a minute. He goes, oh, it's like five days ago on the plane, I sat next to this woman and yeah, she had this really strong perfume. Isn't that funny? And you're like, well, I know. Don't try to do anything sneaky. I can smell it.
00:19:29
Speaker
Buddy, you are not getting by with anything. Seriously. Seriously. Yeah. Smells are weird. Even too strong good smells. You're just super strong sense. Other things that have happened to me is I always get acne in pregnancy, especially that first trimester. I'm like a 14 year old girl again. It drives me crazy, but I just know I'm pregnant. I'm going to break out.
00:19:50
Speaker
Oh, it's the hormones. Yeah, for sure. And because of those hormones, your sex drive tends to go up and down like a crazy person. So that's something to be aware of sometimes too. Just know that's going to happen. Yeah. And then there is some potential bleeding in the first trimester, which can freak some people out. Oftentimes when you're ovulating and the egg actually implants, there can be some bleeding and there can be some light bleeding at other times as well. So it's not always a sign for concern. I think that that was one of the best pieces of advice I got.
00:20:19
Speaker
don't look at immediately, just watch it and call your doctor. Right. Yeah. So, um, I have found a couple of tips for helping with nausea diet for me. Like it, I know it's so hard to eat right in your first trimester, like super hard, but if I manage to eat right, I can manage my nausea a little bit better.
00:20:40
Speaker
And then I found swallowing vitamins is super hard for me in the first trimester, but I did find a liquid prenatal vitamin. We can link that one in the show notes. At least I felt like I was getting something down because sometimes nothing stays down. And then be aware too that abnormal cravings like the smell of gasoline or dirt or ice.
00:21:07
Speaker
That actually might be something they call pica, which is an iron deficiency, or some other kind of deficiency. So yes, pregnancy cravings are weird, but watch out for the really super weird, because that might be something wrong. Right. I had a friend who would literally go outside and have to be restrained from scooping the dirt out of her garden to eat.
00:21:26
Speaker
You don't want to do that. Just maybe have your blood work done. Make sure that all levels are normal. Yeah. Vitamins are really hard for me too, especially ones with iron. So I can tolerate gummy vitamins. I love gummy vitamins, but they usually don't have iron. So then I usually take a liquid iron supplement in addition to that and that helps a lot.
00:21:44
Speaker
And then I actually have a blog post and I can link to that about dealing with nausea. One of my biggest tips is making sure that you have a simple carb followed immediately by a protein. So this took me like three pregnancies to figure out. I would just eat carbs because that was the only thing that tasted good to me, but then it would just go through my stomach so fast that it didn't have any staying power. So something like
00:22:07
Speaker
a saltine to settle your stomach at first or a piece of bread and then right after that an egg or some beans or a piece of meat, something you can tolerate because then that will keep you full a little bit longer. Empty stomachs seem to be like the worst for nausea. Yes.
00:22:23
Speaker
And then just letting people know both your other kids if you have them, your spouse, co-workers that you're functioning a little bit slower, you might need a little bit extra help. I didn't tell a lot of friends until 12 weeks with my first pregnancy, but all my co-workers knew because
00:22:38
Speaker
And, you know, if anybody made a really smelly lunch in the break room, I'd go throw up. Or if anybody really needed to just be more patient with me and that goes a long way and just letting people know, I'm going to need you to lower your expectations for me a little bit.
00:22:55
Speaker
So
Emotional Rollercoaster of the First Trimester
00:22:56
Speaker
one thing I was going to say is that we don't ever tell our kids that are like under a certain age, can't keep a secret until we're ready for everybody to know. That is a good tip. This time around, I think I told my two biggest boys because they started to get an attitude with me. Like I would go have a snack and they'd say, I don't want to snack. And I'm like, no, it's not snack time. Well, you're eating a snack.
00:23:17
Speaker
Okay, listen to your buddy. If I don't need a snack, I'm going to throw up on you. So just leave me alone. And then they were, they were really sweet about it. So I'd say I really need a nap today, guys, because of, you know, you know, and they kind of like being my co-conspirators, but yeah, for sure. Do not tell your five-year-old unless you're ready for everybody to know.
00:23:36
Speaker
And I was going to comment too that you can find all these things that we're recommending in the show notes. So emotionally, in the first trimester, we've talked a little bit about this, but we're going to be feeling some anxiety, exhaustion, like we said, both physical and emotional. And then excitement, of course, and then the feeling of overwhelm. I remember, especially with my first one, just thinking, oh my gosh, I don't think I'm ready for this.
00:24:01
Speaker
and just wanting to study up everything humanly possible, how to get a kid to sleep, and the best baby crib. And I was just so overwhelmed with all the things I needed to learn and get ready before that baby came. So that can be scary. Right, definitely. And mentally, I was having the same thoughts that you experience both awe, like amazement, that your body knows exactly what to do, and it was never trained for this or anything. And then fear both.
00:24:29
Speaker
Does my body really know what to do? You know, kind of like these, these two, you know, good angel, bad angel on each shoulder. Yeah, exactly.
00:24:36
Speaker
Okay, so moving on from the first trimester, we're going to hop to the second. And what I like to call this trimester is kind of the honeymoon trimester because it can be a welcome break after a really exhausting, nauseous first trimester.
Second Trimester Comforts
00:24:50
Speaker
At least that's how it works for me. Right around 12 to 14 weeks, I start to feel a lot better, not feel quite so tired. And then this is the time that if I'm busy with a job or
00:24:59
Speaker
other kids. I kind of even forget I'm pregnant lots of the times. I'm not really gigantic yet. I'm feeling great and it's just a really welcome release.
00:25:09
Speaker
Yes, definitely. And internally, the baby grows a lot in the second trimester. It grows from five to 15 inches long and then from one ounce up to two pounds. Yeah, that's amazing. And the nice thing about the second trimester is you hit that point of viability. So I think right around, I think nowadays it's about 24, 25 weeks, they say is when a baby can survive out of the womb and not like any of us
00:25:32
Speaker
want that to happen. But when we get there, it's kind of a sigh of relief going, okay, even if something happened, if my baby came out now, chances are good, they could make it. So that's an exciting time. Yes. Yes. That is always a relief to hit that. And then that also means that because your baby's growing, you're growing more too, you start to show and your belly starts to get a little bit cuter than just, you know, the burrito belly, like what I like.
00:25:56
Speaker
Oftentimes you don't need to announce at that point, people just know. In fact, this sweet lady at church the other day leaned over and tapped my husband on the shoulder and said, is your wife expecting? And he said, yeah. And then she turned to me and said, okay, congratulations. But I didn't want to ask you. I said, oh, you're sweet. You know how to do it. And then you kind of adjust in that, you know, dealing with this extra girth and, you know, squeezing through spaces you weren't.
00:26:23
Speaker
you didn't think you needed to worry about before. Right. Yeah. And physically that nausea goes away, like you mentioned, and you have more, you're more comfortable than the first or third trimester. So, um, sometimes it's good to take a little advantage of it. Like if you weren't able to exercise in the first, um, trimester, cause you just felt so bad. Now it's time to maybe pick up and start. Yeah, for sure. The second trimester is a great time to check in with how we're treating ourselves and making sure that we're, uh,
00:26:52
Speaker
trying to get a handle on things before the more exhaustion and largeness of the third trimester hits. But that is a great time to exercise. It's a great time to do shopping for the nursery and things because it's kind of surprising sometimes how hard that third trimester hits you sometimes.
00:27:08
Speaker
And then it gets more exciting too, to realize that that baby's getting bigger and closer to coming. What I love is being able to feel the baby move around. When that comes, it gets so real and it's so exciting. And that's usually somewhere in the middle of the second trimester you can start feeling regularly every single day that baby move around.
00:27:26
Speaker
Yes, and that does wonders for my mental condition, like to feel it move. Because I don't have the way that we do care with a midwife. She doesn't have us do ultrasounds unless there's something wrong. So I don't have that look in.
00:27:42
Speaker
and see it. And so you go to the appointment once a month and you can hear the heartbeat, but then just to feel it move like on a regular basis. That's a pretty awesome time. And oftentimes I forget to pay attention to it because you know, they like the, your provider usually likes to know if you're feeling the baby move, but every time I do, I go, Oh yeah.
00:27:59
Speaker
I forgot. Oh, you're doing good. Okay, great. It's really exciting. And what's especially exciting is sharing that with other people. So letting your husband feel, your other kids feel, they're never quite as excited as I am. They're like, oh yeah, that's great. The little kids are, but that's a really fun time.
00:28:15
Speaker
Yeah, and trying to get them, like, by the time they can feel it on the outside, you've been feeling it for quite a while and probably trying to help them feel it for a while. So by the time they finally feel it, you know, it's like, oh, we've been trying for two weeks.
00:28:30
Speaker
Yeah, and then emotionally in the second trimester, there's really no way to say how you'll be feeling. I think it's different for everyone in every pregnancy. Your hormones can be all over the place. Some days you can be super excited and some days negative as your body is changing, especially for the first one. It is so new. I remember thinking...
00:28:49
Speaker
what is happening to me? Like I will never be normal again. And chances are your body's going to be different and it's never going to be exactly the same as pre-pregnancy. But to focus on those positive things and to realize, yeah, but I'm bringing new life. It's a miracle I can do this at all, you know? Yeah. And you can also focus on like a better diet at this time too. Like also, you know, just like maybe you weren't able to exercise. Now maybe you can make up on your nutrition too, you know, get a couple, you know, extra salads in a couple of times a week or something to be able to
00:29:19
Speaker
Maybe make up for nutrition that you lost in the first trimester, just even not being able to keep things down if you weren't able to. Yeah, for sure. I always tell my friends that the first trimester is survival, you know? And some people have great, wonderful trimesters and a lot of sickness, but sometimes it's just surviving. And if that means that you're surviving on chili cheese fries, so be it.
00:29:40
Speaker
stress yourself out too much about that. But the second trimester is a great time to say, okay, I'm going to get a salad every day now to make up for those chili cheese fries. And if you're feeling better, it's like, okay, all of a sudden new diet worlds open up to you. Oh, I feel like I can have a smoothie today. Yeah. Yeah. Have a salad and then chili cheese fries for dessert.
00:30:05
Speaker
So when you get to the second trimester, another thing that comes into play is maternity clothing. So usually, especially with the first pregnancy, the first trimester, you don't really have to adapt your clothes very much except for maybe use that elastic trick on your jeans, you know, or wear, you know, slightly looser clothes. But that second trimester, there's often no hiding and no way of making your old jeans work. So to look into maternity clothes,
00:30:31
Speaker
can really give you some freedom to feel a little bit better about your expanding and changing body. And even though it can be a little difficult to dress a bump, sometimes it's also exciting because then you're basically announcing even more, you know, you go to the bank and people know, oh, she's pregnant, she's got that maternity shirt on, you know, that's kind of fun.
Maternity Clothing Tips and Body Changes
00:30:47
Speaker
And I like to do like a completely separate maternity wardrobe just because, well, for two reasons. It makes my regular wardrobe more exciting when I finally get back to it. Yeah, that's true. Like I'm not tired of it because I wore it through pregnancy too. But also it makes pregnancy more special just to have these special set of clothes. Yeah, when you bring out the old box and go, oh, that's right.
00:31:08
Speaker
And it can kind of bring back some memories too of carrying your other kids once you've had one to think, oh, this fun sweater. That's right. Of course, if it does get to where that's the only thing you're wearing, you might need to buy something. I got to that a couple of times. Like if I see this skirt one more time.
00:31:25
Speaker
Oh, and then there's some days where all you can wear is just pajamas and that's okay. Just stay in your pajamas that day. I recommend really comfy pajamas and then like a giant knit moo moo or something for those days that you just feel like pants will just ruin your day.
Handling Public Reactions During Pregnancy
00:31:42
Speaker
Oh, another thing that comes up in the second trimester because people notice now that you're pregnant is people saying just rude or weird or inappropriate or horrible or awkward things. That's right. And not only that, but inappropriate touching. Oh, yeah.
00:32:00
Speaker
I don't know what it is about an elevator and a pregnant woman, but if you're trapped in an elevator with somebody else and you've got a belly, they're probably going to try to touch it. There's no other situation in life where it's appropriate to touch another adult's belly. I don't know why they think it's okay. Public property. I have seen a couple of funny snarky t-shirts that just say, yeah, private property do not touch or something like that.
00:32:26
Speaker
So why do you think that that visible bump brings out inappropriate behavior and words from strangers?
00:32:35
Speaker
Yeah. I just think a lot of people feel uncomfortable around a pregnant woman. Like, well, men especially haven't experienced pregnancy themselves. And so they don't maybe know what is the right thing to say. And okay, let's be honest. Um, pregnant women are, sometimes they don't give you an appropriate reaction, either a response, like, you know, they, my husband will come downstairs and he'll say, Oh, you look really nice today. I'll be like, shut up and leave me alone. That's right. We're so emotional.
00:33:05
Speaker
Yeah, they just think we're all about to explode.
00:33:09
Speaker
a little nervous. Yeah. And sometimes I think people sometimes are excited for us, but like you said, they just don't really know what to say. So I think that the lesson here is just don't take anything personally, especially if it tends to hurt your feelings. Like when people say, wow, you're big as a house. You could throw it right back at them. Yeah. What do you do? Just kidding. No, just to go home and be like, they didn't mean anything by it. Not a big deal.
00:33:37
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, that's it. Just shrugging things off. Because, you know, like I mentioned at the beginning, people have said some really extremely rude things to me. And I think I have to keep, the thing I have to keep in mind is it's more of a reflection of them and what they're thinking and their thoughts and feelings about pregnancy and not really necessarily a reflection of me. I just happened to be the pregnant woman that received their thoughts. Yeah, for sure. And that happens a lot in announcing fifth, sixth, seventh,
00:34:06
Speaker
children too. People will say things that I'm thinking, everybody, you know, especially like on social media, everyone on this post has said something positive and this random person just said something horribly negative. Okay. They've got some baggage. That's not on me. Thanks for your comment. Bye-bye. Yeah.
Conclusion and Maternity Clothing Recommendations
00:34:22
Speaker
Well, I think that wraps up this episode on the first and second trimesters of pregnancy. And in the next episode, we'll discuss the rest of pregnancy and the postpartum time too. Yeah. The exciting part where you actually get to meet your kid. It's pretty fun.
00:34:36
Speaker
Yeah. And this week's outnumbered podcast recommendation is something to help you get dressed if you are pregnant or you know someone who is. So as far as shopping goes, I have to share that H&M is one of my favorite brands for maternity. They're pretty affordable and they don't last forever, not super high quality, but usually maternity, you don't need that. You know, you need it to last you for that season and maybe one more pregnancy and that's it. And they tend to have pretty stylish stuff, like a lot of maternity stores you walk into and you're thinking,
00:35:06
Speaker
Who is the buyer for this store? These are hideous. So if you love them for affordable and stylish clothes, if you have a store by you, definitely check it out to see if they have a maternity section because oftentimes they have great sales because I think they move the maternity clothes a little bit slower than the other stuff. And if not, they have an online store too. So I love that stuff.
00:35:26
Speaker
And then besides that, there are a lot of styles, especially right now that work for pregnancy that are not maternity, like tunics and leggings, even cropped shirts with like a dress underneath. You can kind of tie a cropped shirt above the belly. That's kind of cute. So a lot of make it work solutions there.
00:35:44
Speaker
All right. And for me, my recommendation is some of my favorite maternity sewing patterns because as a woman that's six feet tall, I can't really walk into a store and buy regular clothes. So that makes my maternity clothes spying so much. Yeah, you gotta make yourself.
00:36:02
Speaker
Yeah, so I really like, well, okay, well there's a new website called maternitysewing.com and they have some, they have a lot of sewing patterns, maternity sewing patterns, so that's awesome. And then I also did a blog post recently on one company, Hey June Patterns and how their patterns work for maternity or can be altered to make work for maternity. And yeah, so we can link to that. That's it for today's episode. Stay tuned for next time when we finish this pregnancy journey.
00:36:32
Speaker
Thanks so much for listening to Outnumbered the Podcast. You can contact us at outnumberedthepodcastatgmail.com and find us on Instagram at outnumberedthepodcast. We're so grateful for our listeners and would love it if you'd take the time to leave us an honest review on iTunes, Stitcher, or any other podcast platform. And don't forget to share the podcast with your mom friends. Can't wait to talk next time. Bye.
00:37:02
Speaker
And Bonnie, I have a question for you today. How many months of your life? Except you have to say what episode it is. Oh my goodness. I'm going to start with that right at the top. Okay. Take three.