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Ep. 180 – The GUC Anglican Maritime Tabernacle of the End Times: Elder’s Meeting Minutes
346 Plays6 months ago
This week we’re joined by our esteemed assistant pastor Jeremiah to discuss our the details of our presidential cardiac arrest covenant. We’ve vowed before God and man that if Biden and Trump simultaneously, uh… “come to the clearing at the end of the path,” we will plant a church and dedicate our lives to soliciting donations for it. We also talk about the most irritating team-up ever between Richie the Barber and Mike Servin, and finally, the bizarre and upsetting revelations from South Dakota Governor and Trump VP hopeful Kristi Noem’s upcoming book, “No Going Back: The Truth on What’s Wrong with Politics and How We Move America Forward.” Kristi wants everyone to know that she’s rough, tough, and ain’t got no qualms about acting like a psychopath, and she has the entire internet lighting torches and sharpening pitch forks. All this and more on this week’s episode of Growing Up Christian!
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Transcript
Jesus Chorus Introduction and Return of Hosts
00:00:00
Speaker
Jesus Chorus! We love you, Chorus! You know Riz caught up, spot up, Jesus Chorus! I'm right here with my brother Richard the Barber, you know Riz? The Remnant! Jesus Chorus! We might not look like everybody else, but let me tell you something, man. We got that power of God flowing straight through us. Jesus Chorus! Let's go, let's go, hey!
00:00:36
Speaker
Hey everybody, we are back with an episode of Growing Up Christian. I'm Sam. I'm Casey. I'm Jeremiah. And boys, is it nice to be back? I feel like I was telling Casey right before we started and before you got on Jeremiah. Also, if there's anyone point out any problems with my sound, if it's too loud or whatever, I have to readjust stuff after coming back from vacation. This is the first I've messed with it.
00:01:01
Speaker
I feel like it's like peaking and then it's like not. But do you like how you talk about it on the recording? It's fine. I could have done it before but that's the wavelength wasn't appearing as alarming until we hit record the wavelength and the way it registers changes. Nobody cares. We're all friends. Everyone's just hanging out with us in their living rooms. This is fine. This is fine. Anyway, it is it feels good. I'm having a week off.
Challenges of Booking Guests
00:01:27
Speaker
It feels like I haven't done this in a long time.
00:01:30
Speaker
And it's a good reminder that I still really love doing it. Like the constant like trying to get people on, trying to like arrange guests, all that kind of stuff. It gets a lot. And then when you strike out and people don't get back to you, it's frustrating.
00:01:51
Speaker
despite some frustrations. I'm like, oh, fuck, this is fun. I miss doing this, especially these. I love these. It's just like low stakes just hanging out. And speaking of hanging out, we were
Hypothetical Church and Cult Planning
00:02:05
Speaker
We've been just yammering on for the past 35 minutes before we finally hit record, but we were doing some politics talking and we don't need to get into the meat of that, but we just made a pact before hitting record that if Trump and Biden can have a heart attack on the same night and die,
00:02:30
Speaker
Yes, that's very important. The three of us will plant a church and we'll dive head first into lifelong ministry together. 100%. And I'll go even farther to up the ante. It has to be somewhere like Florida. Say I'm on the space. Hand handle. Hand handle material for sure. I don't even want to be in the literate part of Florida. I want to be in swamp Florida.
00:02:57
Speaker
I know. No, that wasn't part of the original pack. So I'll veto that. I see. Where do you think we're going to play at this church? I mean, probably the Midwest, Vermont, maybe like, I don't know, but we can at least pick somewhere cool, cool ish. Like this Carahode, Indiana.
00:03:19
Speaker
What's the central point for us? I'm not good at picturing maps. It's not any place that I want to live. Probably somewhere like Tennessee. Yeah, the woods of Tennessee. Yeah, Tennessee's nice. Tennessee, Kentucky are nice. All right. Yeah, I could deal with Tennessee. Looks like we settled on it. That's a little farther. If there's anything that Tennessee needs, it's another church plant.
00:03:40
Speaker
That is farther for me. Indiana is looking a little better for midway points. Pass. Ohio, maybe. Ohio. Pass. Hard pass. Michigan. Let's go back to your home. All right. I could deal with Michigan easier than that. That's cold, though. It gets cold. Northern Michigan's cold, but I wouldn't mind if you went this way and be ranch hands with me.
00:04:04
Speaker
We'll be we'll be pretend to be blue-collar cowboy types. We can work our heart jackets We can two of us build houses on your property. You got enough land We could all just build on it, right? Oh deal deal actually, this is sounding better and better I know I actually Really hope they die now like at first is just like it would be slightly convenient for my life but now I really hope they do because then I I
00:04:31
Speaker
I think we're just talking about moving in together, guys. I don't know if we need that. I don't know if we need this grand political scheme. Now that I'm thinking about it, I think it's going to go from us building a couple houses on your property to maybe a compound. Oh, wait, we're starting to call? Yes. Oh, heck yeah.
00:04:52
Speaker
Absolutely. It's not going to be the typical like, you know, this isn't going to be one of those like legalistic polycule cults though. This is going to be an Elrond Hubbard like, you know, where we have a yacht and we staff it with taught young boys.
00:05:11
Speaker
And they tie the knots and they, you know, keep the rope straight and whatnot. Casey, where in Kansas are we going to be putting this yacht in the water? El Dorado Reservoir. There is water in Kansas. Once we get enough money from our colt, we can really put water anywhere we want. What if we just built it like a real big pond and then had a yacht dropped into it? I think we're describing the same thing. Yeah, give me a backhoe. I'll get you a lake.
00:05:41
Speaker
The Army Corps of Engineers already built us a pond. What denomination are we talking about here? Oh, non-denominational. I'm not beholden to anyone's bullshit. Usually non-denominational just means like Baptist. So what are we actually talking about? Okay. So we know that people our age are kind of like we have
00:06:06
Speaker
slowly like drifted back towards the more like formal ceremonial, you know, ritualistic, I almost said genre, but, you know, denominations, the Orthodox stuff, right? So why can't we be like a non denominational Orthodox type thing where like we have, you know, statues covered in pigeon poop, but you can wear jeans.
00:06:34
Speaker
I feel like you're just talking about Anglicanism. Is that what it is? I've never been to an Anglican church. I mean, it is. There's still some high church function, but I don't think it doesn't go as high as it happens. I thought Anglicanism was kind of like a charter school. Like it sounds fancy on the outside, but it's really just like where all the kids that got kicked out of public go.
00:06:53
Speaker
I could be wrong about this, but I think it's kind of like Episcopal, but I actually don't know where it differs from Episcopal. I know there are, I knew people who were Anglican that went that direction because there was a branch of Anglicanism that was like somewhat liberal and affirming.
00:07:11
Speaker
but I don't know if that's even all Anglican, I don't know. Is that all anything? Every denomination has like two versions, the ones that don't like gays and the ones that do. Every single denomination is just, except for, well even Catholics, there's plenty of Catholics who are like parishioners who don't care. They're like, yeah, gays are great.
00:07:32
Speaker
If we have to pick a fork in the road, we love this sinner and hate the sin, right? Obviously. You know the most popular denomination among migratory waterfowl is quackers, right? That's off the dome. Somebody write that down. We agreed on early before we hit record was that Casey has to be the senior pastor. There's just no way- That's why.
00:07:59
Speaker
And this is what you have to look forward to. He rips those jokes constantly. Nobody turns a phrase like Casey. And the best part is every time everyone's going to be at the edge of their seat, like, is this going to be a hilarious one? Or is this going to be one that we need to cut out of the sermon?
00:08:14
Speaker
I think he keeps you on the edge of the seat because you might be thinking he's about to make a serious point and then he just like throws you a curveball and you never know. Is it going to be serious? Is it going to be funny? I think that joke would have worked better if you had like a real good southern accent for it though because Quakers and Quackers, you got to blend the two together a little bit.
00:08:34
Speaker
to the point where it's you can't really recognize one versus the other based on the accent. Yeah, half the church laughs because of peer pressure. Yeah, which is a joke. I do like throwing those a day for the like the other day we were in academy sports like looking at, I don't know, jockstraps or whatever. And I was like, Hey,
00:08:59
Speaker
Did you hear the one about the case of the deliberate dolphin? And she's like, what? I said, judge determined he did it on porpoise. Was this around the same time you were making porpoise jokes in our discourse? Yeah, it's in my lexicon. I'm trying to figure it out. I'm working it into my act. It's going to be a mix between jokes like that, horrible puns, then people are like, man, this sermon has a lot of World War I history in it.
00:09:31
Speaker
I'm going to be the associate pastor, for sure. That's my role. Which means he's in charge of marriage counseling. Everybody, no open-toed shoes. We said that that leaves Jeremiah. I'm going to start, what would be a good wiki feed for church people?
Church Doctrine and Future Goals
00:10:02
Speaker
It's like benign, you know, you can be a Christian and look at feet. I've never heard anyone say you can. No, I think if your eye causes you to sin, you're supposed to gouge them out, Sam. I don't think it matters what you're looking at when you're sinning.
00:10:17
Speaker
I don't think that is true in this scenario because you're saying you're wrong. You're wrong. You're wrong. We need to write a deal with the illogical podcast and we need to ask this.
00:10:28
Speaker
You said if, if you're, but in that, I would argue in that specific instance, uh, you could be talking about things like, you know, who's to say that that's a sin? How would you connect that to sin? Would you call it lust? Perhaps, but I'm pretty sure people that are in the feeder are calling it lust. They're arbitrary feet. You don't know whose feet they are. We won't show faces feet only on this website. There's no faces. You don't know whose feet they are. They're just faces are a turnoff for Sam. Yeah.
00:10:58
Speaker
So get them out they remind him of the people's humanity I The best feet are severed feet
00:11:11
Speaker
This is a real diff-domer sort of thing. And Jeremiah is a youth pastor, because that's the only pastor position that's left. No, actually, hold on. This is like an Anglican, non-denominational Anglican church. I don't think we're going to have a youth group. Everybody has to stay in the service. We're not going to have nursery, no youth group. Everybody sits in the same stuffy room together.
00:11:35
Speaker
What? I think Jeremiah is one of those ones that has like the long rod with a feather on one end and then a like a crack on the other side. So like people, kids fall asleep. He tickles them with the feather. And if adults fall asleep, he like wax them with the staff. What type of church did you grow up in? That was a thing for parents, right? I've never heard of that before. Yeah. I think, I think it was. You got revisionist history in your school. Nothing sounds worse. Like all of the like,
00:12:05
Speaker
You know, millennial complaints about churches and this and that and the other aside, like nothing sounds worse than reading about like Puritan church services and stuff back in the like 1700s. It sounds just the most miserable people alive. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:12:25
Speaker
It's like the unsalted potatoes of church services. Everything about their life, to be honest, sounds absolutely awful. It's like an uptight competition constantly. Yeah. I went from the Enlightenment and the Renaissance. I don't have my dates right. Don't come at me. But they went from the Renaissance and the Enlightenment straight to like, what if we had zero fun for our entire lives on purpose?
00:12:51
Speaker
Yeah, their clothes, everything about it. They're like, how do let's pick bland colors, full body coverage. Absolutely zero fun. Like the most fun they were allowed to have was to like fasten twigs into a sphere and then like roll them with another twig. And that was it. That was the most fun you could have. Why recreate when you can toil? Why procreate when you can recreate?
00:13:21
Speaker
Actually, no, they prefer to procreate, but only that. Okay, so if our non-denominational Anglican cult is going to be buying a yacht and putting it in the reservoir, what are our larger- Because of the implication. Because of the implication. Right. What are the larger cult goals though? Because you said this isn't going to be like some drink the Kool-Aid thing. You want to be like Elrond Hubbard, so I'm assuming that means we got big goals here. I am immediately-
00:13:47
Speaker
I haven't thought about the goals until now, but longevity is key. I think so many cults are short-sighted, and I don't want that for my future. If I'm committing to this until death, I need to live a lavish lifestyle that's supported by suckers.
00:14:08
Speaker
So I'm just, I, you can't, you just can't go too extreme. You know, you got to let the people have some fun. Uh, but you need services on the yacht in the middle of a reservoir. People are going to be having fun. Like I think the fun is implied.
00:14:24
Speaker
because the implication. You need to make it. They're going to act like they're having fun. There's less implication when you can swim to shore and mostly walk. That's true. The spirit moves when Casey says it moves.
00:14:42
Speaker
But you need to keep certain things taboo because that only heightens the fun. So you need taboos, but you need a clear pathway to forgiveness without the overarching fear that it didn't necessarily stick the first time.
00:14:58
Speaker
The evangelicalism we grew up in was like, you would pray for forgiveness and the next day be like, but what if I didn't really mean it? And we need to get rid of that. We need to let the people have their fun and we need to let them pray for forgiveness or should I say pay for forgiveness? And then we like, it needs to be clear in our doctrine that they'll be good until their next sin, you know?
00:15:22
Speaker
I think a little existential dread is like a great customer attention measure. How much existential dread? Because the amount of existential dread we had is what sent a lot of us out. And that's why I'm thinking long game.
00:15:37
Speaker
That's why Catholics have done it pretty well. Uh, they, they have got a good system. I'm sorry. What are we saying? The Catholics have done pretty well. Oh, longevity, longevity. Okay. Of course, their numbers are dwindling a bit, but like the whole, like.
00:15:54
Speaker
Confession before confession they did Was it what was it called not arms? What would you you would penance was a penance? Is that what you pay for the forgiveness of your sins shit like that? So that's what I'm thinking you want some existential dread for sure But you if you pile on too heavy they go fuck this shit. I'm not raising my kids in it. I
00:16:15
Speaker
I do want to reserve the right to like, if it's not going well, or if we start losing, you know, important members with deep pockets, I want to reserve the right to like take it apocalyptic. Like I'm Shinrikyo style. We just said, we just said for the rest of our lives, we didn't really define, we didn't say our natural lives, you know? Yeah. Like we're going to kill my parents and then make their basement into a white phosphorus factory to usher in the apocalypse. I, or.
00:16:46
Speaker
If we do it on the yacht, it's gonna make the news. Like we will be remembered forever.
Roles and Humorous Antics
00:16:52
Speaker
We didn't inevitably close up. There's never been a yacht cult. What if we're the first cult to successfully get a hold of a nuclear device?
00:17:03
Speaker
Hey, yeah. You know, goals. You hold a lot of power. All they've done is like stack up trillions of dollars and like imprison a bunch of people. Like we need to, we need to have bigger goals like nuclear independence. And then we declare the reservoir to be an independent sovereign state. This is how it holds.
00:17:24
Speaker
drift into chaos what you're doing right now you've already brought us to the end of our existence but I'm gonna play along and say that we need a good trigger switch on this nuke because otherwise we're getting raided fast and I don't I don't want that I want anyone who raids it to know that if the nuke goes so does the whole town right we need to build a reservoir that's properly located in a highly residential area so the government doesn't come in and try to fuck with us
00:17:53
Speaker
I think Kansas is like international waters. I don't think anybody's looking. Nobody's sniffing around. I'm not in the business of telling our co-pastor what he can and can't have. Jeremiah wants a nuke, Jeremiah gets a nuke. Long-term goals, baby steps, or maybe we fill pipe bombs full of connects.
00:18:15
Speaker
Connect. Yeah. I mean, we could, we could start out with conventional arms. Like I'm not trying to say we go like you, but you said we need a goal to work towards refining uranium. That's something that can keep a congregation occupied for a very long time. Especially if they're from Eldorado. Your publishers have regular jobs. I feel like you're thinking that they only stay on this boat for the rest of their lives.
00:18:36
Speaker
No, no, they have regular jobs. They need to go earn money so they can bring it like this isn't cheap. None of what we're talking about is cheap. Just getting the boat. I think we're skipping to the point where we have a yacht and a reservoir. That's going to be a several year goal. That's not just happening. Well, I think we have plenty of time to figure this out. I I'm not so sure. I feel like we're already having our first conflict about our our 30 year plan, you know, because I'm not so
00:19:03
Speaker
Sure, I'm on board with going in that texture as, you know, lead pastor. I feel that I'm, I, at some point I'm going to have to assert dominance here. I think, you know, okay. And sexually assault the both of us. Exactly. Like some sort of humiliation ritual. Right. If you can reach. All hail the short King.
00:19:35
Speaker
That's what they'll be chanting in the documentary. That's what this is all about.
00:19:42
Speaker
It'll just be like it'll open with a slow swinging shot of a nuclear device just swinging gently in the breeze suspended on like a crane off the deck of this yacht swinging above like this rock we've embedded in the middle of this lake. And there's just a bunch of people slowly chanting all hail the shark king. Just pans to me and I'm blue from colloidal silver.
00:20:11
Speaker
Oh, God. Well, that was a fun thought experiment. Well, real quick, I just want to give us a lot of credit. All of that just fleshing out how our denomination, everything's going to work. And at no point did anyone suggest that we're going to be handling snakes. So thank you, everybody, for staying on the narrow.
00:20:29
Speaker
That's true, and we never called into question female bodily autonomy, and that's pretty special for cult leaders too. So I'll pat ourselves on the back for that. Only male bodily autonomy is going to be called into question. Right, when Casey has his way with the both of us. Yep. I'm dipping my wick in somebody.
00:20:56
Speaker
Something else I wanted to address this week because I love it. So Jeremiah puts together a lot of, not a lot of, all of our Instagram episode posts. So I started messaging him about putting something together. I had a bunch of pictures.
00:21:17
Speaker
Uh, he asked me some questions. He was trying to go to bed. I had a good back and forth and then I went dark and he was like, uh, could you, you know, maybe let me know soon. Cause I do want to go to bed. And I was like, Oh, sorry. I went down this rabbit hole and then started sending him reels from, uh, Richie the barber and Mike serving have teamed up in ruined Disneyland for so many people. It's I don't, for anyone who doesn't remember.
00:21:46
Speaker
Richie the barber was, he's the clown barber. He shaves, like waxes the top of his head, has red hair, wears tiny hats, and has a full clown face tattoo with like a gauge septum and like full of face piercings. This guy's an absolute psycho and now he's casting out demons. It feels like he failed at every other possible opportunity to make
00:22:12
Speaker
I mean, he went he was on America's Got Talent at one point for some bullshit. We talked about it in an episode or something. It was like trying to do like hokey clown shit. And it was all like, I always wanted to be a clown. And so he tattooed his whole face and body like one and being clown didn't work. So now he's like then he was the clown barber and he was still Richie the barber. But now he's like got saved and he's casting out demons in Disney with
00:22:42
Speaker
And so before I move on to Mike Servin, I reached out to Richie the Barber to be on the podcast. And he got back to me fairly quickly. This was back in June. And he was like, yeah, it's almost a year ago. He's like, yeah, I'd love to, but I do have to get paid for my time being on the show. I was like, okay, like what are your rates? He said, I need $200.
00:23:08
Speaker
I was like, no thanks. Go fuck yourself, dude. I actually called him a Grifter piece of shit. Anyway, the Grift wasn't working. All of his Instagram shit disappeared, and I'm wondering if he might've got reported for some shit. There were also some fake accounts that popped up of Richie the Barber, because I can see my messages with him now, but for a while, I thought he blocked me.
00:23:34
Speaker
because I couldn't see any of his page or my messages with him anymore so unless he just unblocked people after a while but either he lost his Instagram or he blocked me which would have made sense because I called him a grifter and then I couldn't see his profile anymore so I felt like I got blocked but anyway not much from this guy in a long time until our boy Mike Servin
00:24:01
Speaker
starts popping back up and we've talked about Mike's servant on this podcast and you might know him from this drop here. Jesus! We love you God! We love you God! Also has face tattoos. Yes. What is his face tattoo? It goes like across his whole cheek. I don't know. In videos it's like a dark mass or something. Yeah, I'm not sure. I think so. I think it does.
00:24:29
Speaker
Richie the Barber and Mike's, also I did reach out to Mike Servin. I've messaged him, I've emailed him. My hatred for Richie the Barber is like perfectly offset by my love of Mike Servin.
00:24:44
Speaker
I legitimately love like Mike servant. I hate Richie the barber Just I hate him. He sucks so bad. I kind of wish we paid the 200 bucks to get him on the show actually Just so he could lie about do we need a clip to like remind everybody of of the level of ridiculousness? Yeah, if you got one, I just found a
00:25:07
Speaker
I couldn't remember which one was the best, but this one's pretty good. Anyways, I hear this voice. Can I get a picture with you? And I turn around. This is beautiful. Well, that didn't work.
00:25:24
Speaker
Oh, man, I think that was a bad that was a bad clip Explains how that woman was Joe Jonas's girlfriend and that
00:25:41
Speaker
She like really wanted to, you know, hook up with Richie the barber and Joe Jonas was like so jealous and upset over it because, you know, he was intimidated by this tattooed clown man. Here's a different one. This one will work. Can you tell us anything that you've seen her do that made you believe Taylor Swift? She is part of a satanic cult that she is in fact.
00:26:04
Speaker
She did one. She drank blood, bro. This is disturbing. She was there drinking blood, bro. She goes, I love drinking blood. And she's in this, like, that's very much like in hell. There's all this fire and stuff. She's all seductive and there's seductive, like, you know, dress. You think she's attractive? Dude, she's satanic, bro. But that's not that's you didn't answer. She's satanic, bro. Answer the question. I don't feel like that, bro. You don't. I don't live for that, dude.
00:26:31
Speaker
Hell yeah. This guy fucking sucks. Okay. If you've watched any clips from the arrows tour, he's trying to convince us that Taylor Swift is capable of dancing seductively. I don't think so. She dances like a giraffe. And I say that as someone who absolutely can't dance myself, but like, I don't know. That's not the number one way. You know, he's lying, but it doesn't help. I might disagree. I might disagree.
00:26:57
Speaker
But that is all, I won't get into specifics. I don't know if this, there's a lot of, should I do the, should I do the play the sound into the microphone bullshit or should we just not? Let's try it, why not? Alright, so this is them talking, I believe this is the right one, of them talking about doing Disneyland and trying to like witness to people on the streets in Disney. Oh fuck.
00:27:22
Speaker
You know what it is, call it up, squad up, just force. I'm right here with my brother, Richard the Barber. You know what it is, the remedy. Just force. We might not look like everybody else, but let me tell you something, man. We got that power of God flowing straight through us. Just force. Let's go, let's go. Hey, we did a brand new podcast. It's going to come out next week. You guys better stay tuned and in for this podcast. It's an amazing testimony, amazing work, amazing man of God. Just force. Jesus Christ, stay tuned for the new episode of Richard the Barber. Come on, let's go. Hey, hey, hey, just force.
00:27:52
Speaker
Okay, not the Disney one, but they did a podcast together and that was the initiation of their like, their team up. And it is, Mike Servin does have, it kind of has a graffiti spray paint look like almost his entire cheek up to his cheekbone down to his jawline is like sprayed black and like Jesus Christ is like where there isn't coloring on the tattoo.
00:28:20
Speaker
It looks like shit. It looks like absolute shit. It's a terrible tattoo. I thought this was going to be the good side of your face tattoo. No, it's so anyway, they've been in downtown Disney, they've been saying and they're like stopping people on the streets and trying to witness to them and pray for them and shit like that. And all I could think about was like if I was in Disney and I saw that.
00:28:45
Speaker
I feel like my initial thought would be, in general, if I'm anywhere and people are witnessing and trying to pray for me, it would ruin my time. If I saw those two...
00:28:56
Speaker
I might be like, yeah, can you guys, can you guys pray for me? And I could see a lot of people, I could see them thinking a lot of people were like, we save so many people, bro. And it's really just people like, I can't not engage with this. I need to know what's next. Yeah. If I saw Richie the Barber in Disney, I would be getting Disney security.
00:29:19
Speaker
I don't know how they're not getting kicked out, honestly. It feels like they're ruining. And what they would love is to get kicked out because then they could talk about persecution and how the enemy's working against them. Because people like that don't understand that some people just want to have a good time and enjoy themselves.
00:29:40
Speaker
And that you ruining that for them is like you paying the price for ruining people's vacations that they spent $10,000 on is just it's got to be demonic oppression. Yeah, it's kind of the worst of a really terrible group of people, you know, like vloggers.
00:30:04
Speaker
Christian vloggers are only marginally worse than regular vloggers. I feel like society's starting to turn against them now because you see more and more videos of people getting aggressive with someone while they're trying to videotape them or whatever.
Critique of Social Media and Vlogging Culture
00:30:19
Speaker
I'm all for it. I hate this whole thing.
00:30:23
Speaker
I mean, now they're all just, it's all Instagram. It's all just like, everything is Instagram reels. It's all like, let's, we're going to take to the streets. We're going to hold our phones out and video or something like, I feel like there's just no on, like there's no real interaction. Everything's for the algorithm for something. If you're going around and videotaping that.
00:30:46
Speaker
You're just, it's, we know what it's for. It's not for Jesus Christ. Maybe Mike Servin thinks it is. Mike Servin seems like he might have been like, he might have enough CTE to think that like he's being authentic about it. What's his backstory? I don't know. No clue. I forget. I did hear it at one point. I forget what.
00:31:07
Speaker
He was into before he got a lot of stuff. I think it was something along those drugs are implied. Yeah. Yeah. For both of them. He's he's bought in, though. He like he's he actually is that guy, I think. Richie the barber is so clearly just a charlatan that this is just the latest scam that he just gotten into. So he realizes he fucked himself so bad with the clown face tattoo and couldn't become a clown that he's just like,
00:31:35
Speaker
He's a leech that will attach himself to anything that he thinks can bolster his status. I feel like there's a weird segment of people that
00:31:47
Speaker
you see on Instagram and TikTok and stuff like that. Guys like him that clearly his whole life has just spent trying to- Get his parents to love him. Well, he's spent his entire life trying to get closer to fame.
00:32:09
Speaker
Like he's lived in proximity to fame for like the last 10 or 15 years now. It's never worked out. Nobody's ever really picked him up because he doesn't have anything to offer other than he's super ugly. Like that's it. He's just a dumb looking ugly dude with face tattoos and stuff. The most he can do is cut famous people's hair. And that's what he bragged about before finding this other avenue.
00:32:33
Speaker
Yeah, I'm like, he knows Steve Oh, and he's like, like, he's, he's in proximity to people who are actually like famous and successful, but it's not gonna happen for him. So it's like one grift to another until he finds something that sticks, but there's nowhere to go. He has nothing to offer. He's just an ugly guy. That's why it's so like hilarious seeing him on like America's Got Talent or whatever it was because
00:33:00
Speaker
He has nothing to do up there other than be like, yeah, look at me. When I was a little kid, I saw a clown. I was like, oh my God, I just want to be a clown. And so I did. And he's not good at it. He like can't actually do clown stuff unless like dropping everything and being bad at it was part of the bit. But it feels like he never actually worked at becoming a clown. He just thought that like the tattoo would be enough to do it for him.
00:33:27
Speaker
Yeah. But he's married. I think he's recently married. Oh my God. I had no idea. You sent me this post earlier. What's the lady's handle? It's like clown wife or something like that. Oh no. Does she look safe? Yes. Yeah. She looks unstable. Yeah.
00:33:50
Speaker
there's a there's a deep unsettling like I don't know chaotic feral vibe in her eyes you could tell looking at her like oh this is a person that's this is a person that would ruin your life like for fun
00:34:09
Speaker
Yeah, also apologies. I definitely just coughed in the microphone. That probably won't get its way out, but I didn't hit mutant again. It's cool that you mentioned it. Well, I was right into it. Who cares, dude? You act like we could break the fourth wall. I'm not fucking ice man here. I can. Do you need to apologize for coughing?
00:34:31
Speaker
I into the microphone. Yes. I thought I could hold it longer. Was that not loud to you? It felt loud to me. It felt. I thought if I was listening to a podcast and someone cough directly into my ears, I would be like, did that just happen? Did they not edit that out? Because this isn't shade because I don't do shit for editing, but I know you're not going to do it.
00:34:57
Speaker
Now it's gonna really show up. Sam coughed and we all forgive him. Cool. Anyway, clown wife. It's clown wife five.
00:35:10
Speaker
she uh she does appear uh this is not a factual statement i'm just making some assumptions does look like she probably has a methamphetamine conviction sometime in her past yeah there's some there's some uh chemical abuse in there somewhere i think they're gonna make a great of their marriage they're gonna make a great oh god now i can't think of the name of it but uh
00:35:37
Speaker
that YouTube show where the guy interviews homeless people and all sorts of different. Oh, channel five news, Andrew Callahan.
00:35:46
Speaker
No. Okay, but I'm glad you brought him up. Okay, so if everybody remembers, there was a movie that he released on HBO called Displace Rules, and it was about like the lead up to the election in 2020 and stuff. And it was pretty great. And then right at that point, you know, there was like allegations against him about like,
00:36:08
Speaker
basically like being kind of pushy about like relations with a lady yeah and so he recently did a segment or an interview with Lex Friedman I don't know if I've ever seen an interview conducted by Lex Friedman to be honest a name I know well yeah
00:36:34
Speaker
And you sent it to me and I was like, he's a robot. Like, he's the most inhuman person I've ever, like, who is he?
Lex Friedman Interviews Andrew Callahan
00:36:44
Speaker
How did he get into that position? He's a robotics guy originally. How did he start, how did he get these interviews? I think he's just like a super smart guy that like worked his way into a position. Like he had her podcast where he talked to like scientists and stuff and then slowly over time it's,
00:37:02
Speaker
he's interviewed everybody. Some of them are very boring, some of them are very good. He's so monotone, he goes, wow.
00:37:12
Speaker
that's pretty dark and then just moves on like tell me about a time that x y and z oh wow that's really interesting it's low-key for sure it's rough but they're good they are solid interviews a lot of them like the one that he did with man carlin is awesome
00:37:36
Speaker
I bet his demeanor is disarming. Because he's not making an affect either way. He's not nodding relentlessly, acting like he's on your team. But he's not arguing with you. He's just asking you questions. And there's no tone, so the questions don't sound leading, or they're gotcha questions.
00:38:02
Speaker
It's like reading prompts and then responding to them in text. It'd be like if you use the computer voice to ask a question, which might make a better podcast than Lex Friedman. Yeah, he's basically like clippy with a buzz cut.
00:38:20
Speaker
He's like a mix between Clippy and Ben Shapiro. He's like, it seems like a genuinely like really nice dude. And he's very smart, not the most entertaining, but he had Andrew Callahan on and they got into the story of like, you know, basically how he got into journalism and being a YouTuber and all of this stuff, everything that happened with like all gas, no breaks back in the day. And I look.
00:38:48
Speaker
I'm back on the Andrew Callahan team. That guy is, he seems great. Oh, I love, I love the stuff I've watched. Like, um, I think I watched most of the stuff channel five puts out. It's fantastic. Oh yeah. He's good. And he, he goes places that like are pretty sketchy talks to people that seem a little dangerous. He was on Matt and Shane secret podcast like a couple of weeks ago and it was really fun episode, but, um, he has like, so.
00:39:17
Speaker
If you go on that podcast with Lex, he's going to ask you about whatever uncomfortable thing is in your past. So he brings up the allegations and asks him, and it's maybe the best response of anyone that's been accused of anything during Me Too and all this stuff. It's probably the best response I've ever heard, felt,
00:39:45
Speaker
you know, heartfelt and like, you know, somebody's really trying to understand like where the other person's coming from. And like, I don't know. It was just, it was great. I really liked that guy. And, uh, I don't know. I think, uh, I would, uh, I'm gonna, I'm gonna keep watching his stuff indefinitely. I feel like when everything kind of happened, he had like this, like,
00:40:13
Speaker
Cause he did all gas, no breaks for a while. And that was popular on YouTube. But then I feel like he started like having a fast like rise in popularity. And then he was able to put out this HBO doc. Um, that was doing something different than most things were. Cause it wasn't really like most documentaries, I feel like.
00:40:36
Speaker
have like a, they have an outcome of which they want you to, or a belief in which they want you to subscribe to. They want you to change your mind about something, which I suppose you could say he's doing, but I think the way he's doing that is going into like, I want you to just kind of recognize the humanity in some people. And I want, while recognizing their insanity, like he's, he's not like, just kind of like,
00:41:03
Speaker
was like tiptoeing over some of the crazy aspects of what people believe, but I don't know. I just think what he's doing, it's not the gotcha journalism where they like find the craziest people and edit out anyone that's not. And they just go, what do you think about this? And then they just post that real. I think, yeah, I think he gives you an actual like idea of what it looks like to be on the ground and weird or different or strange areas.
00:41:32
Speaker
I think he did more of that back when it was all gas, no breaks, but that was really like, that was more of an entertaining show. It was less of him actually trying to make documentary stuff. Now that he's doing documentary stuff, I think he does a much better job of trying to humanize people, even if they're insane. Like he doesn't shy away from the people. If anyone, someone wants to rap.
00:41:48
Speaker
He can find at any gathering of people. He could find the amateur rapper. He talked about that. He talked about that. He's like, it doesn't, he's like, if we could walk out of the studio right now and somebody out on the street at this very moment is ready and waiting to like do a freestyle for me. He's like, I don't know what it is, but they find me every time. I love it. But yeah, Jeremiah, that's what I think. That's what I'm trying to say is like, I think that that's the direction he's going in. That's different. It's just like.
00:42:18
Speaker
Like man on the street stuff is not really man on the street. It's very like how do I make people think that these people are stupid? Yeah, it's Steven Crowder Yeah, yeah, and I don't think that that's not what he's doing at all and then literally like his his documentary drops and then immediately it's like allegations and he disappeared for a while so I I thought
00:42:42
Speaker
I don't know that we need to rehash all of it. I think you just listened to what he has to say about it, but I thought it was... I also thought it was good. I don't... Yeah, I don't know. I guess that's what's weird. You never know. There's just a lot... See, I don't want... As soon as you start talking about this, I'm like, ah shit, if I say the wrong thing, I'm fucked.
00:43:04
Speaker
whatever I think what's challenging about shit like this is like it happens with bands all the time it happens with like it happens all the time and you just I feel like you're always left just going like I don't know because it's like this person says this this person says that there's not really a lot to corroborate and you just kind of get left going I feel like I have to err on the side of caution
00:43:28
Speaker
inside with the person who says this person did the bad thing so that way I can save face or that way I'm not shitty to like, there's a lot of peer and public pressure to just not really even think about it and not really give any like someone a chance to talk about it and just be like, no, fuck them, fuck them, fuck them, I don't like them. Just because it's not comfortable to talk about. And it's kind of fucking scary to talk about.
00:43:56
Speaker
Yes, but I also I'm not necessarily endorsing this. I'm just saying I think it can be maybe it's an overcorrection into the other ditch from a mentality that for decades and decades and decades, just put up with that stuff. It was like whatever he's kind of a creep just ignore him or whatever. Like, I think if people are overreacting back in the other direction, that's probably better.
00:44:16
Speaker
Not that that's the ideal way to handle it, but like, I don't know, kind of feels like society probably had it coming, you know? Yeah, absolutely. And I think the difference now is- That's fine to tell it to your brother or your friend or whoever that's at the broad end of it, you know? No, no, no, I agree. I'm talking about in a meta context of like, I get why society has that reaction. That kind of makes sense. But no, that does not excuse individual people being treated poorly when they're innocent or something, obviously. I think what
Ethical Concerns in Fame and Relationships
00:44:44
Speaker
was kind of most interesting about it is like some of the like stuff that he said at the end like he kind of I think at one point Lex asked him like what advice he would have given like a younger version of himself you know ahead of time and and he said like some just really like good things that you don't hear people saying like especially in like
00:45:08
Speaker
the ex-vangelical circles that we're in. There's a real resistance to any sort of making suggestions or ideas about limiting sexuality and stuff like that. One of the things he says, he's like, look, I don't think you should probably be hooking up with people that you don't know well.
00:45:35
Speaker
Like I don't think that's a good idea. He goes, you know, maybe somebody is by all accounts, you know, from your perspective, like somebody seems like they're on board and they're, you know, they're saying yes to, but you don't know like what's in that person's past. And maybe like there's pressure there that you don't understand because you know, you don't realize that they had been in an abusive relationship. So in like the.
00:45:58
Speaker
The knee-jerk thing for like the other side to say is like well look if they say yes then they say yes and that's it and stuff it's like yeah but. You know maybe if you if you were. Strictly pursuing those kinds of things with people that you at least knew to some extent knew enough to have conversations about that first.
00:46:18
Speaker
then maybe you would understand that like, oh yeah, I don't know that this person is ready to tell me how they feel about the situation and that there might be pressure here that I don't fully understand at face value.
00:46:33
Speaker
Like stuff like that and then I think you know up until I don't know maybe like eight years ago or something like the idea of famous people like Hooking up with fans and stuff. I don't there wasn't a lot of pushback against that historically and he's kind of like look if you're a person in some sort of prominent position or you know famous in any sort of way like
00:46:56
Speaker
you shouldn't be looking for hookups amongst your fan base. It's not right and it's not a good idea. And it's kind of the same thing that we've talked a little bit about Ben Kissel from last podcast on the left. That is a weird situation between both parties and stuff. But at the end of the day, why are you trolling through Instagram messages looking for fans that wanna hook up with you?
00:47:26
Speaker
Like, God, you ought to have more brains than that. I mean, that's not a good thing to do. Right. Right. At the very best, it's weird. Like, even if if you have only good intentions, but like, I kind of agree. Can you have purely good intentions in that situation? It doesn't really feel like it. No. Well, because that's part of the conversation that's come up over the past like decade plus is like power dynamics and blah, blah, blah. So it's like even for him, he's like, you know, one of the things that stuck out to me is like,
00:47:56
Speaker
I did all gas, no breaks. He's like, I kind of just lived in an RV and did this shit. Like I didn't, he didn't feel like he was living some life that anyone cared about. Like all gas, no breaks started to build momentum. And he's like, I was just, I was a kid.
00:48:15
Speaker
Who was trying to party in whatever city I was in like so then you're like you find this out like you find out on it's like I would connect with people on Instagram just to find out where to party it wasn't even all like it's not like it was all hookup related it was just like where can we party and then it's like
00:48:32
Speaker
because I'm a kid and I'm doing this and I'm starting to get this momentum. I just didn't really even have a real grasp on what that meant or looked like. It was just like, now I can find new places to party.
00:48:46
Speaker
I thought even just like the way that Isaac as a younger guy, like grappling, like not really knowing or having a concept of like of how things had started to shift for him that put him in situations where he might make, uh, where he might be in a position where someone were in hindsight, they felt like kind of uncomfortable. They felt unhappy or raw, remorseful about an experience they had with him.
00:49:15
Speaker
It's the way he was trying to explain it. And I don't think he at any point was trying. I don't know. He kind of it was a weird. It was weird because he did like get into it in a way that was like you. I guess you always kind of wonder like what the legal prep is before doing an interview. Right. Because he's he's out of the woods legally with that shit. Right. As far as I can tell. It wasn't really anything like legal to it. It was like.
00:49:43
Speaker
Hey, I thought you were – it was kind of like I thought you were a jerk at the time, and I felt pressured to – which is not – legal's not involved in that. Right, but he had pointed out that that was –
00:50:01
Speaker
That the text he got was to solicit a response that could be used to pursue legal action. Right. Right. Like a civil legal. Right. Okay. I'll I'm going to shift gears slightly, but try to understand the same topic because I think it's related. I just watched Jimmy Carr's new Netflix special.
00:50:19
Speaker
Jimmy Carr is probably a divisive comic. I can imagine a lot of people not liking his comedy. Is he the English guy? Yeah. Okay. He's just very intentionally abrasive. But he's got this bit at the end of his special where he ends up finding this kid who's 19 years old in the audience and he's at the show with his dad.
00:50:44
Speaker
And he's like, all right, we're having a conversation about consent and what sexual consent looks like. And he would ask him questions and sometimes he'd be like, I'm going to just give you scenarios and you tell me if you, in that scenario,
00:51:02
Speaker
If it's appropriate for you, or you think it's a good idea to take your dick out And that's just what we're doing and it was really funny and the kid had some wrong answers And he's just like no you can't take your dick out then man. How do you like it? And the kids like I said the kids they were this dad you could tell he feels weird you could it's like oh fuck What did I get myself into?
00:51:27
Speaker
And, uh, but there's just like it. Again, he's talking to someone who's 19. It's just like so much of, there's a lot that requires like just such a shift in the way we talk about these things. Cause culturally it just hasn't gone. We know it hasn't gone well for women and that sexual scenarios with, with men who are, aren't always.
00:51:56
Speaker
accommodating it goes weird sometimes and you're just like yeah and so like some of like his bits were like her jokes about it were just like and it's this isn't me trying to interpret three and act them because he's funny and there's no point in trying to do his jokes but the the heart of it is just like every step of the way he's like and you think that sounds corny and everyone that's the everyone thinks that sounds corny now is like
00:52:21
Speaker
Oh, if you want to do this, if there's something you're into, then you just ask. And you're like, I'm afraid to ask because it's going to be weird. He's like, it's not weirder than if you just do it without asking. Like, that's weirder for the person. Right. So there's like this new idea of like, there's like the pushback that men would have of like, oh, what am I supposed to just every step of the way, ask? And it's like, he just kind of takes that and makes a bit out of it, which is like, obviously, yes. Obviously, you just.
00:52:49
Speaker
Can I do this? Sure. Like if you're actually in the, in it together and you're in the moment, then like, it's not, it shouldn't be weird. And if it is weird, then maybe it's kind of weird with it. It's kind of weird. We're great. And it remind I, I watched that special right after you sent like the night
00:53:13
Speaker
after, whatever, the same day that you sent me the Callahan thing, and I was like, this, the way Callahan's giving advice to his younger self, and maybe how he should approach this shit, and then watching Cars Special, I was like, this actually feels very on point for what I watched earlier today. Yeah, that's a weird, it's just a subject that has a lot of like, non,
00:53:41
Speaker
black and white areas to it. And it's right and wrong. Some of it's best practice. Some of it's like, Hey, self-interest, you should not do this, you know? And at the same time, it's like women have agency and women, you know, they're, they have to protect themselves and be responsible for their choices and stuff too. And I don't know. It's just a weird like give and take there. But I think like, I think.
00:54:11
Speaker
It's good advice for you to like know the person that you're involved with and, and know them well enough to have an idea of like. What is this scenario going to make people, is this going to make her uncomfortable? Is this rep reminiscent of a scenario where she's, you know, been taken advantage of or something in the past and like, and like the power dynamic thing, like.
00:54:38
Speaker
I also think there's a bit of a difference between your boss or your spiritual leader or your parole officer versus someone who has a hundred thousand subscribers on YouTube.
00:54:56
Speaker
I don't know. It's just a weird subject, but it doesn't seem like it's pride. It really doesn't seem like it's that hard to navigate and be a decent person. Unless you want things that are contrary to other people's well-being, you know? Like you want to have sex above everything else and you're gonna
00:55:17
Speaker
do what you have to to end up in that scenario. It's the same thing as getting a ton of money. Like, I think most people would like to think that their values and stuff wouldn't change if they became like a multi multi millionaire overnight, right? But you think of how many absolute monsters have money. And of course, you don't know, were they a monster who got money? Or did the money do something to them? But there's obviously something in the human condition that
00:55:41
Speaker
When it doesn't have to be accountable in certain ways, I don't think that's good for us. Like when you remove the barriers from people and it's just like, what if I don't have to care about this thing anymore? Cause I can just solve that problem for myself at the expense of others. It's like, well, a lot of people will at least in small, subtle ways, but they'll do it.
00:56:01
Speaker
Yeah, rich people go towards pedophilia. The 40 nights in the wilderness trial for some people is like buying a car dealership in a town of like 15,000 people. Like if you turn into a despot because you own like Bumbley Bird Ford.
00:56:20
Speaker
You're a monster. I talk to these people every week. Every week I talk to multiple people who own a car dealership with eight employees and they think they're God. It's just baffling to me. The level of self-importance, it's unbelievable. Do they have billboards with their
00:56:44
Speaker
nice porcelain teeth on the front. Some of them do, yes. I love car dealership billboards. I think those are some of the tackiest billboards. Tackier than real estate billboards? In law even, yeah. Those suck too. Law, real estate, and car dealership owners are the only, are those the only groups of people that put their own faces on billboards?
00:57:10
Speaker
Yeah, but put the faces on billboards when there's others like the people who have to make puns on billboards for stuff that you should not be making puns about. Tell that to Casey. I don't think Casey believes there's anything you shouldn't be making puns about. No, I'm not saying that to my core.
Kristi Noem's Controversial Stories
00:57:26
Speaker
One of my foundational principles in my life is there's nothing so awful that I can't make a joke about it or think a joke about it's funny. But I'm saying when you're making billboards, you got to kind of aim for the middle.
00:57:39
Speaker
Maybe like a lower middle, you know? Casey still thinks it's appropriate to use the word punny whenever possible. That's not a term I've used. Now you're just slinging mud. You're a mud slinger. Someone's got to do it. All right. I've got to talk about this story because it's unbelievable. Talking about psychos.
00:58:06
Speaker
right a psycho that gets a touch of success and a little piece of the spotlight and They totally lose their compass for not just what's moral but what's normal and acceptable in polite society Do you guys know who Kristi Noam is? No No, she's the governor with her distant cousin David the but David the gnome
00:58:33
Speaker
Yes. Who's David? I've never heard of this. Fuck you guys. I guess you're not going to explain it. Well, what's there to explain? It's a great, it's a great reference and you don't know who David the fucking gnome is. No, neither of us do. No clue. It's a cartoon. It was, I watched it when I was a kid.
00:59:00
Speaker
It's, uh, he's got a red pointy hat and a white beard. It's, and he rides on a fox. It looks like a gnome. Yeah. Yes. I've never heard it. It doesn't even ring a bell. Originally, apparently it's Spanish. I just pulled up the Wikipedia. The one with David, the gnome originally titled David El Nomo. I I'm, I'm great with Spanish. Uh,
00:59:23
Speaker
is a Spanish animated television series based on the children's book, The Secret Book of Gnomes. I'm sorry, Sam. I'm sorry. We didn't recognize your Spanish animated Gnome kids show from the 80s. I'm sorry. Shame on us. That's on us. Oh my god. This was great. You live under a rock, I guess. I had this shit on VHS. I didn't have television growing up, but I should have known about the
00:59:46
Speaker
Spanish language kids animated show about a gnome. Now you're just being an asshole. Sounds like off-brand Smurfs. On-brand Spanish Smurfs.
00:59:59
Speaker
OK, well, Kristi Noem is the governor of South Dakota and she kind of a like maybe, I don't know, late 40s. Stepford wife kind of lady. I don't know what her background is, but she's the governor of South Dakota. She's kind of been like rising in prominence in the like conservative realm.
01:00:23
Speaker
And she owns a ranch out there and stuff like that. She's been one of the like people that there's a lot of whispers about that that's in the running for Trump's VP pick. And she is like nose in the hole, like just up his butt.
01:00:43
Speaker
constantly oof there's some when you google image search her name it's not it's not awesome just like handery pictures of her in camo holding guns and shit you know
01:00:55
Speaker
Yes, so that leads into our story. Don't look ahead. Okay. So she's been like, she's in the running to be the VP pick for Trump, right? She's been doing everything she can to try to increase her public prominence and suck up to Trump. And like, if you look at her x page, it's just store, it's just tweet after tweet of like,
01:01:18
Speaker
Thank God for Donald J. Trump and he's fighting for America and for everyday people and we have to fight for him and this and that and the other and just nonsense. The first article I saw when I searched her name and all it says, Kristi Noem doubles down on killing her puppy. Skip it ahead you douchebag. I did that out. I did that out.
01:01:44
Speaker
So okay, so here's the story. She has a book coming out, right? It might be – it might be this week that it comes out. It's like very soon that it's about to come out, and it's going to be some like ridiculous conservative political whatever, you know?
01:02:02
Speaker
Uh, it's titled no going back the truth on what's wrong with politics and how we move america forward It's going to be released on may 7th but she's You know been promoting it and stuff herself and in in Anticipation of the release, you know, they send out advanced copies to papers and things like that so She sends out one to the telegraph and in reading it they come across this part in the book where she talks about
01:02:30
Speaker
a dog that she had named cricket. Oh, that's my cat's name. Cricket was a wire-haired pointer, which I absolutely love. I've lobbied hard at different times for April to let me have one, but she's not a big fan because she says they have a mustache. Oh, those are gorgeous dogs, dude. They're so cool. They're kind of scruffy. I just looked them up. Oh my God. Is it a terrier?
01:03:01
Speaker
No, it's a, it's a pointer. So it's, they're pretty big, 70, 80 pounds and stuff, but, uh, bird dogs, you know, good pointers, retrievers, whatnot. A lot of these are blue ish, like they, that like gray and black going on or whatever. Yeah. So the body. It's kind of like a German short hair, but you know, they just have like long wiry sort of hair to them. So she, she had this dog named cricket that she was training as a hunting dog.
01:03:31
Speaker
I don't know what that entails. And to give everybody, if you don't know, like I have two Britney Spaniels that are bird dogs and my wife and I have trained them. We hunt with them a lot. I've trained several bird dogs at this point. I'm not a professional. I don't really know what I'm doing, but like they do a good job. It's in the DNA, you know, you just have to basically train them to like stay with you and stuff.
01:04:00
Speaker
So she talks in this book about like how cricket was. Well, OK, so the dog Noam Noam claimed had an aggressive personality that couldn't be tamed as evidenced by the fact that cricket ruined a pheasant hunt for being, quote, out of her mind with excitement, chasing all those birds and having the time of her life. Oh, puppy. Got it. Yeah.
01:04:24
Speaker
Doing doing puppy things is 14 months old So this puppy's like just over a year old which is pretty early to have them in the field like hunting with anyways like they probably should be on a leash and Says additionally when the South Dakota governor took cricket with her to meet a local family The dogs started killing the family's chickens like a quote trained assassin
01:04:50
Speaker
According to a book excerpt obtained by the Guardian, Cricket quote, grabbed one chicken at a time, crunching it to death with one bite, then dropping it to attack another. When Nome finally grabbed the dog, she wrote that Cricket quote, whipped around to bite me. Cricket was quote, the picture of pure joy. Meanwhile, the chicken's owner wept. Like Jesus. Give me a break.
01:05:13
Speaker
Noam said she wrote a check. Like what are you doing bringing a dog to hunt birds, that's a puppy, around chickens off leash. That's obviously insane.
01:05:26
Speaker
Yeah, all I'm hearing is she's describing that she's a terrible dog owner. That she personally snapped the necks of all those chickens. Well, and like, I don't know what the timetable is here, but it almost like one of the other articles that I read about it almost sounded like this was same day. Like she had a bad hunt with the dog.
01:05:48
Speaker
where it made her really mad because it ran around wild, you know, and then she took it to these people's yard where it's full of chickens and the dog supposedly, you know, trained assassin, whatever. Right. Cricut was, quote, the picture of pure joy. Meanwhile, the chickens owners wept. Noem said she wrote a check for the price they asked and helped them dispose of the carcasses littering the scene of the crime. Quote, I hated that dog, Noem wrote, believing the four. No crimes were committed.
01:06:19
Speaker
So I hated that dog, Noam wrote, believing the 14-month-old pooch to be, quote, untrainable, dangerous to anyone she came in contact with, and less than worthless as a hunting dog. At that moment, the governor wrote, I realized I had to put her down. So she takes this puppy to the family's gravel pit,
01:06:43
Speaker
and shot it in the head. That's so fucked. It's so messed up. Does she have children? Yes! She wrote about it like her daughter being like, where's Cricket?
01:06:57
Speaker
Mommy mommy had to make cricket take cricket out to the desert with a shovel and make cricket dig for a couple hours. Oh my god It was not a pleasant job gnome said but it had to be done and after it was over You couldn't really home it you couldn't just make it a family dog and say does not do well with chickens Yeah, like how hard is it to keep it away from chickens? Oh?
01:07:23
Speaker
Oh my God, what a psycho person. I think most dogs would attack chickens if they got the opportunity because chickens look like really easy, stupid prey. Everything wants to kill chickens. Yeah, everyone should attack chickens. Anything that runs from a hunting dog, they have a prey instinct, right? They're going to chase it. Dogs don't have a sense of morality in the same way that we do. They try to fake it sometimes because they figured out they need to suck up to humans.
01:07:51
Speaker
The dog is not doing anything wrong by attacking chickens. No, he just knows that you're mad. What a psychopathic thing to do. It was not a pleasant job, Noam said, but it had to be done. And after it was over, I realized another unpleasant job needed to be done.
01:08:09
Speaker
She took her children out back and shot them too. She's going to do that if she doesn't get the vice president spot. If they ruin it for her, she'd be like, look, it's going to be tough, but I know what I need to do. My kid got pregnant. You know, I'm trying to be vice president. I lost the pick.
01:08:28
Speaker
So apparently they had a family goat that was quote, nasty and mean as he remained uncasterated and smelled, quote, disgusting, musky and rancid and loved to chase the governor's children. She, quote, dragged him to the gravel pit as well, but the goat jumped as she tried to shoot him, leaving him briefly alive. Noem said she had to go back to her truck and retrieve another shell and then, quote, hurried back to the gravel pit and put him down.
01:08:56
Speaker
Wait, we're actually executing this thing with a shotgun. I guess I. That's what that was. Another question I has, like.
01:09:05
Speaker
What a shotgun, and like she didn't even take a, she didn't even have another shell with her, which the whole thing just seems contrived to begin with. The whole thing sounds like I'm angry and need to murder another animal. Yeah, that's the biggest thing that comes out of it is it sounds like she had emotional outbursts related to her inability to properly care for the pets under her care. Fear anger management. Reacting by hauling them out to the family gravel pit, which is not a thing most families have. That's not a normal thing.
01:09:34
Speaker
the killing field. Yeah. So yeah, she, she killed the dog and then shoots the goat. Her third blood wasn't satiated. So she had to go grab a goat by the neck and drag that out and out of anger, slaughter that thing too. Well, shoot, maybe put her in a room with Trump. Let's, let's get, you know, let's put some hot sauce on this thing. We need him to die of a heart attack, Jeremiah.
01:10:02
Speaker
Moments later, the bus dropped off her kids. Quote, Kennedy looked around confused. Noam recalled of her daughter who asked, hey, where's cricket? Name Dr. John F. No, not that Kennedy. That wouldn't be a candidate. That was a Democrat. Kathleen Kennedy. Noam then admitted, I guess if I were a better politician, I wouldn't tell the story here.
01:10:23
Speaker
God, she sucks. Like, that's the whole thing here is like, because that's what's really interesting about this. I feel like from like a, you know, sick perspective is like, what is it that she's trying to tell us about herself? It's that like, she's not afraid to roll up her sleeves and do the hard thing even because it's what needs to be done.
01:10:44
Speaker
Yeah, but if you're like a woman to the people, you'd be telling stories about how you helped birth calves out on the family ranch or like used to muck stalls and stuff. Not like I took the family dog out back and put one in his head because he chased birds. Or my goat had a stinky dick, so I shot it in the face.
01:11:12
Speaker
My goat smelled like semen and I had to get rid of him. He was constantly dry humping. He was wet humping my children. Well, I already chopped down all the dogwood trees. Then I go back and smell my goat and I go, Jesus Christ, I know what I'm going to do. If you don't know what one looks like, Google goat penis. And you'll see why Christy had to get rid of that prick.
01:11:45
Speaker
This is also a very petty thing to judge someone for, but based on her social media profile, I would have guessed she was like in her mid thirties until I looked her up on Wikipedia and she is 53 years old. And she makeup and hair styling and everything else wise, she does not seem to be accepting the fact that people do get older.
01:12:07
Speaker
Yeah, I Google imaged her. There's a lot that's off about her. And I didn't, I felt like she looked kind of her age, but she's not on her social media, which I'm sure is a little bit more crafted than what I found on Google image.
01:12:23
Speaker
says her responses to these stories like clearly she did not expect to be pinned down over this stuff like to her she's like what's the thing down like a dog in a gravel pit exactly so her first response was she she shared a
01:12:40
Speaker
like a screenshot of the Guardian article and says, we love animals, but tough decisions like this happen all the time on a farm. Sadly, we just had to put down three horses a few weeks ago that had been in our family for 25 years. If you want more real, honest, and politically incorrect capital stories that'll have the media gasping, pre-order No Going Back.
01:13:04
Speaker
That is not how things are normally like the only people I know of like art my dad was a veterinarian for his entire career He has probably put down thousands of animals at this point like so he doesn't even get hard anymore
01:13:26
Speaker
Well, he'll be moving, so he moved in. Is he dextering his way through his retirement? You can see the point on Casey's face where he has a joke and he's doing the quick mental math on like, are we saying this one or not? And much like a certain governor, Casey gave in very quickly to that impulse.
01:13:49
Speaker
My dad, a lot of veterinarians, when they start out their careers, they do large animal work on farms and large animal work sucks, like cows and horses and stuff. Most people try to move on from that very quickly. They did teach them stuff in vet school about what to do. There were protocols. It's not like there's not laws or anything, but there's protocols around
01:14:10
Speaker
under what conditions might you shoot an animal, you know, like if things are going so poorly, like a bull is trying to kill you. You know, there are situations for doing that, but like, but they have humane preferred ways for killing animals in every scenario in which you actually need to kill an animal. Like other than like a slaughterhouse, which was not derailed into that discussion, but like,
01:14:32
Speaker
People who actually work with animals and work at the outdoors and stuff all the time, treat them more humanely than that. And also, this is slightly off topic. If she failed to kill a goat with a shotgun in the first round, like she might not be good with guns either.
01:14:50
Speaker
It's not that hard to kill something at point blank range with a shotgun guys. Like it's just, that's, that's doable. You know, jumped up at the exact same time. Like I don't, was she holding it? I want to know when, what way she was pinning it down. She like brought a goat to the killing field and then right before she pulled the trigger and jumped and she like blew the barrel out of his face. It's like, uh, I don't know if anyone remembers that episode of South Park where Britney Spears blows the top of her head off.
01:15:20
Speaker
And she's just a lower jaw and a tongue flapping. Nope. That's all I can think about is the goat, uh, getting kind of South Park Britney Spears. It's terrible. I, it's not the method that anyone smart would use if they had to do that. That's for sure. Well, so she's, and that's like, like she, she's responded again. Oh, really? Okay. She had to, she had to say a little more because this is clearly like.
01:15:50
Speaker
sinking her chances. Yeah, if there's anything that America at the most divided, well, not the most divided we've ever been politically, that was maybe about 160 years ago, maybe the second most divided we've ever been politically, like no one likes shooting dogs. Like that's not something big countries get a rally behind.
01:16:12
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, that's a bipartisan issue right there. It's just not blowing the skulls. Nobody likes this. She could have actually eaten a baby and that would have been less divisive than this.
01:16:27
Speaker
So as the pressure has mounted, so she responded again, a little longer response. She says, I can understand why some people are upset about a 20 year old story of cricket, one of the working dogs at our ranch, my upcoming book, No Going Back.
01:16:43
Speaker
It's like, yeah, okay, 20 years, clearly, this is 20 years ago. And it's like, well, you put it in your book. It's stupid. I can understand- There's no statute of limitations on murder. Yeah. I like that. I like that. Oh, well, it's a 20 year old story. It's still a thing that happened. It's like- Why are you guys dredging up with old stuff?
01:17:04
Speaker
like my book from two weeks from now. The book is filled with many honest stories of my life, good and bad days, challenges, painful decisions, and lessons learned. What I learned from my years of public service, especially leading South Dakota through COVID, is people are looking for leaders who are authentic, willing to learn from the past, and don't shy away from the tough challenges.
01:17:27
Speaker
My hope is anyone reading this book will have an understanding that I always work to make the best decisions I can for the people in my life. Here we go. Who would read that book, honestly?
01:17:38
Speaker
Nobody reads politicians' books. No one. This is a way for people to funnel money into their campaigns. That's all these books are. No one cares about Hillary Clinton's book. She might be a bad example because hers was one of the ones that actually sold decently well. But your average South Dakotan governor is definitely not going to be on that list. The only authentically bought copies of Hillary Clinton's book are Info Wars Maniacs trying to decipher the pedophile code.
01:18:04
Speaker
That might be fair, yeah. That's true, I guess. Well, yeah, I don't want to derail. Keep going. So here we're showing our hand a little bit, okay?
01:18:14
Speaker
The fact is, South Dakota law states that dogs who attack and kill livestock can be put down. Given that cricket had shown aggressive behavior toward people by biting them, I decided what I did. Isn't dog fighting still allowed in South Dakota? I don't know. I love it. See, I have a soft spot for South Dakota because it's like one of my favorite places in the world. It's like the soft spot of an infant's head. Is that South Dakota, the soft spot of an infant's head?
01:18:44
Speaker
It is. Don't push on it too hard or stuff will come out. But like my grandpa lived on a ranch out there for years and like, that was my favorite place to go as a kid. I spent a lot of time out there and he had cattle and horses and dogs and cats and everything else. And like farm life is different. There are things that go on on farms, you know, they have a much less, um,
01:19:13
Speaker
Sometimes they, they, they're more likely to kill an animal than other people. But are they just walking through the fields like with a snub nose revolver, just executing cows? No, no, it's always like it's practical purpose or something. And like, I don't necessarily agree with everything that my grandpa did, you know, when I was younger, but like my grandpa was not a cruel person and he would like, he would have been disgusted by this.
01:19:43
Speaker
And I don't know, it's just so ridiculous to watch these people like flounder when they're trying to figure out like what string do I pull to like, get a piece of that Trump like fervor that people have, you know, and it's it's like clearly you don't understand like what people think at all.
01:20:00
Speaker
Right, which is even more concerning. It makes it more concerning that they're a politician when it shows you how little they understand normal people and what they are about. Understanding people is something that the best of our politicians do really well and understanding history.
01:20:22
Speaker
too. And so I wanted to make sure we touched on the Gettysburg Address Part 2.
01:20:32
Speaker
Gettysburg what an unbelievable battle that was the Battle of Gettysburg what an unbelievable I mean it was so much and so interesting and so vicious and horrible and so beautiful in so many different ways it represented such a big portion of the success of this country
Historical Storytelling and Personal Anecdotes
01:20:52
Speaker
Gettysburg. Wow. I go to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania to look and to watch. And the statement of Robert E. Lee, who's no longer in favor. Did you ever notice that? No longer in favor. Never fight uphill, me boys. Never fight uphill. They were fighting uphill. He said, wow, that was a big mistake. He lost his great general and they were fighting. Never fight uphill, me boys. But it was too late. He said, wow.
01:21:25
Speaker
What was that ripped from? Was it the Daily Show? It was like Jimmy Kimmel or something like that. I tried to find the clip, but it's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
01:21:39
Speaker
I never fight uphill. I was fighting uphill and he was like, wow. He saw him fighting uphill and he said, wow, what a mistake. That's like a second graders book report on Gettysburg. That is exactly what John Stewart said about it too. He's like, this is almost word for word plagiarism of my sixth grade book report, Gettysburg. Wow.
01:22:14
Speaker
I just I don't know I mean you can go down this road infinitely but when you think of like these people trying to find like to have to be that detached from how normal people think and like I'll share this story it'll show them the kind of person who knows how to get their hands dirty when there are no other options and it's like
01:22:36
Speaker
adoption, you get so many options for adoption. There is a thing, my dad's put down plenty of dogs that- You keep talking about that. I feel like there's something else you want to say. No, no, no. When a dog bites somebody, it is pretty common that they'll be put down. That's not uncommon.
01:22:56
Speaker
But you take them to a vet and have them put down like where they like fall asleep and then pass away fairly peacefully. Like the only people I know who ever like shot a dog, it's because the dog like got rabies and started showing signs, you know, that type of thing. Or like it was a they got attacked by an animal and chewed up and like they were they were dying and it was like a mercy thing, you know? Yeah, like going to be something fast. Right. There's scenarios, but like that's insane.
01:23:25
Speaker
Well, I just, I can't, I'm mad. Like when my, my dog got hit by a car, I don't know, like five or six years ago. And it just like, it just like messed me up for, I mean a good, it was like six months. I just like every day I would get in my truck and I would like cry on the way to work. Like I cannot imagine.
01:23:47
Speaker
Shooting my dog because like it killed a chicken because I wasn't Managing it and taking care of it responsibly and stuff in like 14 months old like it's a poppy like they're they're Basically morons for like the first two years, you know like how dare you embarrass me in front of my friends is like the motivation for killing the dog and
01:24:15
Speaker
It is hilarious to like transpose that onto like, you know, she's, she seems like exactly the type two that would be like, uh, you know, like, Hey, um, I, you know, rape, incest, all that. Like I get it. It's bad, but that's, that's still a life and you don't have the right to take someone's life, you know? So no exceptions. Like you can imagine her making that argument and stuff and then just being like, well, uh, you know,
01:24:44
Speaker
The dog made me real mad one day. I determined that it had to be put down. Wasn't fun. Had to happen. How many chickens did this dog kill? Like how little attention was she paying? Like, I don't care how much of an assassin you say your dog is. He's not killing one every second and a half. Like he's having to work for it a little bit, you know? Like just obviously like you don't have a dog like that on a leash. You're going to blame the dog. Like someone should have taken her out to the gravel pit and shot her through the fucking forehead.
Satirical Political Commentary and Doomsday Cult
01:25:14
Speaker
Uh, we're not at the time violence against, uh, events, politicians, Christian podcasts. Um, we would like certain presidents and former presidents to pass away peacefully in their sleep because of the heart attack. Casey gets it.
01:25:34
Speaker
Yeah. Look, I'm just trying to keep us legally in the clear long enough that we get to the yacht and nuclear device in the middle of the reservoir in Kansas money, guys. Come on. This is why you're my assistant pastor and Sam's youth pastor. Yeah, I've been promoted.
01:25:51
Speaker
Sorry, dude. I'm functioning as the ill-trained puppy at this point, aren't I? Well, Sam, another way you can look at this is you actually like have training and stuff on how to be like a counselor and things. So you could actually help some people while Casey and I are working on obtaining the doomsday device.
01:26:10
Speaker
Yeah, we can divide and conquer here. Help brainwash them, you mean? Sure, sure. I mean, ideally, I'd like the kids to not be anywhere near the device when we ascend. Because I feel like that's more something the adults like they have agency. I think you're the one who's drifting a little off course now.
01:26:30
Speaker
We'll, we'll reconvene after this and really kind of get our narrative straight, but you gotta go on the road right now and I might have to take you out to the family gravel pit if you don't cool it. I think at this point nobody's going to want to turn down that road to the gravel pit. Everybody just starts blasting. Will our, will our commune have a family gravel pit? And will we be called the family?
01:26:55
Speaker
If it's in the middle of a reservoir, I think we already have the solution. You just, you know, paint bucket filled with lead tied around the ankles and you're good. The family's taken and it's not that you want to associate it with. You are right. You are right. Bad association. We'll come up with a fam, no, we'll come up with a community name, uh, that will work for, for all of us. Yeah. Since we're drifting towards doomsday device, maybe we can be like the American chapter of option Ricquio or something like that.
01:27:25
Speaker
Yeah, sure. The disciples of Saren. I don't know this reference, but I trust that it ended horribly. It ended pretty bad. They always do. Just a grubby fat dude having his followers make poisonous gas in his compound. Oh yeah, that is how this is going to go.
01:27:54
Speaker
One of us needs to learn how to levitate. David Blaine could come in handy.
Audience Engagement for Future Episodes
01:28:01
Speaker
Speaking of ending poorly. He's probably looking for a good cult to join. Yeah, which one? Was he the one that was in the Epstein list? David Blaine? No, no, no. You're making children disappear? Copperfield?
01:28:16
Speaker
Oh, Copperfield. Maybe Copperfield's a magician too, right? Yeah, he is. Yeah, I think he was the one that was in the Epstein list recently here. Oh, it's a long list. He just went for the Mai ties.
01:28:31
Speaker
Well, I think, uh, I think we did it, fellas. If, uh, if you liked the show, share it with some friends and, uh, I, you know, once in a while we kind of put up this call, but if you have a crazy story and a wild, uh, upbringing or something that, uh, you know, uh, just to give an unconventional, you know, uh, faith journey.
01:28:57
Speaker
that ended wherever it ended, um, shoot us a message. You know, we, uh, we, occasionally we kind of looked through some of the requests and stuff that we've gotten from people and actually like some of our favorite episodes have come from audience members and stuff that, uh, you know, wanted to share their story and on the show and, uh,
01:29:22
Speaker
We would love to hear from you. But, you know, most importantly, share it with your friend and tell them to download it twice. And we have a Discord. Join that. Hang out with us there. We talk in birds. We're talking bad CDs and flowers and snakes. So jump in there and join the conversation. And until next time, we hope you have a good week.
01:29:59
Speaker
you