Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
S2E18: Who? The Egg Donor & Surrogate Solutions Surrogate Coordination Team
57 Plays2 months ago
On today's episode, we get to hear from the incredible members of the Egg Donor & Surrogate Solutions Surrogate Coordination Team! In this episode our team of experienced surrogates share their personal stories and valuable insights from their experiences, that led them to the world of surrogacy.
We learn from coordinators about their pivotal roles in supporting both intended parents and surrogates throughout the journey, and discuss unforeseen challenges that can emerge and the benefits of having Egg Donor & Surrogate Solutions in your corner to help navigate and overcome those possible challenges. The team also addresses the common myths and misunderstandings about surrogacy and stressing the vital role of communication and collaboration throughout the process.
This team is with you every step of the way throughout a surrogacy journey and you can feel the love and support that they can't wait to show you!
Takeaways
- Coordinators play a vital role in supporting intended parents and surrogates.
- Surrogacy journeys are filled with memorable moments and unexpected challenges.
- Communication and teamwork are crucial in the surrogacy process.
- Surrogacy is not about money, but about helping others achieve their dream of having a family.
- Surrogacy journeys are a rewarding experience for both surrogates and intended parents and is a transformative experience that brings joy and fulfillment to both surrogates and intended parents.
- Building strong relationships and expanding one's support network is an important part of the surrogacy journey.
- Challenges and emotional moments can occur, but the support and care provided by the team help navigate these difficult times.
- Effective communication and tailoring the surrogacy experience to each individual's needs are crucial for a successful journey.
- Surrogacy is a rewarding and life-changing experience that allows individuals to help others achieve their dream of starting a family.
Links
Recommended
Transcript
00:00:01
Speaker
Hi, everyone. I am so excited to bring to you a very special episode featuring the incredible members of the surrogacy coordination team at Egg Donor & Surrogate Solutions. This team of dedicated coordinators is made up of experienced surrogates who today share their heartfelt stories from their own experience, but also shed light on what makes a surrogacy journey from the beginning stages to the joyful moments when intended parents finally meet their baby and beyond.
00:00:34
Speaker
In our conversation, you will hear about the memorable experience that have shaped their paths, as well as the myths and misconceptions they frequently encounter and debunk. We're going to explore the critical role our coordinators have in this process as they are with you every step of the way, guiding and supporting both intended parents and surrogates. At the heart of this episode is the joy and fulfillment that comes from helping others achieve their dreams of starting a family. So please enjoy hearing from this amazing team. Me, you, and who?
00:01:14
Speaker
Who knew it would take more than two people to have a baby? In a world where infertility is no longer a taboo topic, this podcast will take you through all of the different aspects of surrogacy and egg donation through the lens of many who walk this journey in different ways. My name is Whitney Hall and I am a two-time Surrogate, now turned Surrogacy Coordinator for Egg Donor and Surrogate Solutions. the very agency I used when I chose to carry for two amazing families. With this podcast, it is our goal to help guide and support you as you learn about what it takes to grow a family in an alternative way, as well as hear inspiring and beautiful stories of how this path has changed lives forever. We can't wait for you to hear about just one more way happy families are created every day. You guys,
00:02:09
Speaker
Coordination, let's go. Okay, so for our listeners, since there's like our whole team is here, can you please say your name and um how long you've been working for the company? And I'm gonna have you start. My name is Pashie Wilhite and I have been working for the company for a year today. Oh my gosh, happy one year anniversary. Yes. Oh, I love it, I love it. My name is Angela Sanchez and I have been with the company just over five years. Yes, yes, yes, yes. My name is Meg Wallard and I've been with the company eight years. Shut up, really? Eight years this month. Wow, nice. My name is Allie McGee and I've been with the company for almost three years. Yeah, yeah.
00:03:00
Speaker
My name is Amy Wise and I have been with the company for two months. Our baby, our little baby. yeah Oh my gosh. And we are all coordinators for the surrogacy program. Let's go. Okay, so one of the things that I think is, So cool about us is we've all been surrogates. Yes, we have. We've all been surrogates. So I've done two journeys with three kiddos. So, ah you know, I'm the tail of the embryo that's split. So that's always fun. yeah And then Amy, you've done how many?
00:03:35
Speaker
I've done three journeys and three babies. Oh, I love it. One each time. One each time. One each time. The way it's supposed to be. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There you go. My first and last one were a sibling journey. The middle was not. And for those who don't know, sibling journey means same intended parents that you carried for. I love that. And then, Ally, you did three journeys. I did. I did three journeys and three baby boys for their family. ah Sweet babies. I'm like Whitney and I did two journeys and had three babies. Yeah, check out those steps. I do. Right? I have done three journeys and four babies, all boys. Show off.
00:04:20
Speaker
okay
00:04:22
Speaker
First were twins. Twins. Ditto. Ditto. Ditto. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have done two journeys and one baby. Yes. Sweet baby. Oh my goodness. And I was Patie's coordinator. Yeah. Oh my God. Yes. Okay. So what would you say after, as a coordinator, and then just looking back, as surrogates, what would you say was maybe kind of like one of the, that memorable moment during our journeys?
00:04:55
Speaker
I feel like there were a lot of memorable moments during the journey. I mean, I can think of a lot of really special moments, but one that sticks out to me um was actually a moment for my own family that um touched my heart in a way i just because of my surrogacy journey. it was my My middle child was three at the time that I was pregnant. and um We were at Target and the cashier was very big and very visibly pregnant. And my three-year-old goes over to her and says, whose baby are you carrying?
00:05:30
Speaker
oh um And the cashier sort of looked at me with this very strange look on her face. um And so I got to explain to the cashier why my daughter might ask who she's carrying for. And um then I got to explain to my daughter that families are created lots of different ways and that she just was lucky enough to know about one special way that babies were created. I love that. We had that at a 7-Eleven once. They were like, stop. Yeah. and The cashier, but was talking to my children and one of my boys was like,
00:06:03
Speaker
Are you gonna be a big brother? He was like, no, that's not our baby. That's curtain tears, baby. and yeah Don't you know them? yeah But I had a chance to you know explain and be like, oh, I'm actually caring as a surgeon. We've never met a surgeon in real life is what the cashier said. What? Is that gonna be hard to give it up? you know oh yeah All of those questions that follow. I love it when we do get a chance to talk about it and normalize it and bring a face maybe to something that. yeah And you educated somebody about surrogacy. It's amazing. right I feel like our kiddos always get us in like those fun, great conversations. But our kids understand that better than adults sometimes. Yes. They can't have a baby, so mommy's having their baby. Yeah, absolutely. Totally normal. No, completely normal. Completely normal. That's so funny. When I think of um exploring surrogacy, I remember asking my daughter, who was nine at the time, yeah you know what would your thoughts be on me having a baby, but it would be for somebody else? And she was like, OK.
00:06:59
Speaker
as long as it doesn't come home with that. That was her one thing. She's like, I cannot have another baby in this house. I love it. I remember we, my last journey was, it was during COVID. So my kiddos didn't get to meet baby in the hospital and sweet intended to intended mom, God love her. She was, you know, made it where like she came by and let the kiddos, you know, meet baby, which was so important um to me, but um she she did that. And, um you know, they went, they saw the baby. It was so sweet. And my son, oh, he's so cute.
00:07:36
Speaker
And then the baby started crying. And he was like, oh, baby should go home now. I believe. a Baby can go home now. Is this enough? That's enough. That's enough. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my gosh. I love that. They're so funny. They keep it. Yeah. But you're so right though. Like those little moments are such a great opportunity. I think for people to understand surrogacy really what it means, not what the Lifetime movie shows, not what you see on, you know, whatever. yeah But, but yeah, absolutely. What would you say is kind of maybe that common myth that you think we all tend to come up against? Doing it for the money. um Tell me more.
00:08:16
Speaker
I think that's a common misconception. and I just do when I speak with intended parents and why are they doing this? Why are circuits doing this? I really would motivate them to do this. I i just, I think that's a common myth that people are renting a womb or buying a baby. um I feel like there's so many easier things to do ah to get money. I mean, if they broke down a surrogate compensation hourly, I mean, it's so far, you know, for nine months, so far below minimum wage, like you could get a job and make more money than you could get. And you could be done by 5 p.m. And not, you know, have to work nine months 24 seven. So, yeah yeah easier ways to make money.
00:08:57
Speaker
Oh, I agree. I agree. um I think some people just don't understand the process. And so they think that the surrogate is interacting with the husband. Oh. So you have to educate them. And you're like, yeah, no, that's not how it happened. Science. Science rules, guys. All about science. Or that, like you said, like that the surrogate's genetically related to the baby. Yes, that's another one. yeah Mm. Yeah, absolutely. No, no, just by the way, you're not genetically really. No, just the oven. Yeah. A hundred percent. A hundred percent. I think you said something, Meg, um, the whole idea of, well, how are you going to feel when you give up that baby? First of all, again, not genetically related. Right.
00:09:47
Speaker
but yeah Giving it back. yeah That's what I would say. It was never mind. I'm giving it back to its parents. It's always been theirs. How did you guys all feel on delivery day? Did it feel like give up? Oh no. It was amazing to see their face. I had to see baby for the first time. And that's the whole reason you do it. Yep. Best day of the whole journey. It's the reward. yep I will say my delivery day, like everybody wanted to give birth at the same time apparently because that's what it was. full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full full
00:10:22
Speaker
it was the best just getting time with them and baby and being able to see how they cared just i got to love on her for hours and it was just truly like the best like p yeah knowing all the things knowing that I was, you know, she was going to a great, she was gonna be in great hands. Yeah, she was back with mom and dad. yeah We were gonna love her. At one point I think she, we called her Bougie because they had all the good stuff. She was like, coming out Bougie.
00:10:59
Speaker
So she was like, we take care of her. I'm like, awesome. Aw, I love that. I love the interaction, getting to spend all that time together with them, like right after. It's really special. That is really special. And the lead ups too, right? So like when you're at the anatomy scan and you know, we all know what it's like to get to see our baby on the screen and admire and gush and watch the movie. yeah But to get to be next to the intended parents and experience their joy. It's so amazing. And then you go to delivery, and then you get to watch them after years of waiting, hoping, and anticipating. Because they're a small person that all of us have been working so hard for. And you get to not only be part of that moment, but you get to watch that moment. And it it's so special.
00:11:52
Speaker
Oh, there's nothing like it. There's nothing like it. Oh, I love that. So our journeys didn't end with surrogacy, though, because we decided, hey, let's just keep going and we're just going to be coordinators. So what what would you say, like, if you could describe a coordinator? Like give me one word like what? Well, okay. So let me let me go back. Let me go back a step further. So we as coordinators The matching team they do an amazing job ah hear much We give We've matched intended parents and their gestational carrier and then but as an agency we don't just say great go hu fun
00:12:36
Speaker
we are like, okay, and now you're gonna have your coordinator, you're gonna have team baby, you're gonna have your person that is going to hold your hand through this entire process that is 100% called a journey for a reason, 100%. So what would you say, how would you describe but you like as a coordinator? Like what's the one word that you would give a coordinator? at the I think that's why we're all in this is because we we want to love on others, care for others, and advocate for others. And when something doesn't go right, we're there for them. If something becomes uncomfortable, we are the one that gets to help kind of soften that blow or deliver that news so that way they can maintain that good relationship. e Yeah.
00:13:32
Speaker
Just expect, I can't think of one word, but just expect the unexpected. I feel like every day you never know what that day holds. You know, it might hold a delivery or it might hold a miscarriage or it might hold a, it just can hold so many things. yeah And you never, when you think, oh my calendar looks like today you know is the day that you've got tons to tons to deal with and then some days are all great news and exciting and so yeah just never know but it's interesting you say that expect the unexpected because again it's a journey for a reason and when you have those tough days when you have that blow whatever it may be you do have somebody there
00:14:11
Speaker
Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, I can't imagine, I personally cannot imagine what it would be like to, as an intended parent, you get the phone call that it doesn't, that you know, whatever it may be, it's miscarriage, the transfer didn't work, whatever it is. And then you have to, instead of being able to just
00:14:30
Speaker
whatever you need to do during that emotional moment, now you have to start thinking about logistics. right And that's our job, yep. Yeah. I would have to say probably teammate. So we all win together, we all but we're all there together. We're in it. Yeah, yeah. Truly, truly. No, absolutely. So why would you guys say? Because again, it's a journey.
00:15:02
Speaker
And I feel like communication is like key key. Exactly. Why? Well, because if your coordinator doesn't know what's going on or hasn't heard you know from the clinic, or you and your attendant parents don't have a great relationship and communicate, things can go south. um But if everybody does communicate well and they have a great relationship, the ending is just amazing. So the more you communicate, the better the relationship will be yeah for all parties. Absolutely. If you don't communicate well, steps can get missed too. And some steps are really important. They're all really important. But some clinics crucial yeah some clinics can't speak with coordinators. And so we're you know we have to rely on the surrogate or the intimate parents to pass along the news. And then when that doesn't happen, yeah steps get missed. And that can be a real problem. Sure. so yeah Absolutely.
00:16:00
Speaker
Well, and it's interesting too, you say steps and I think a lot of times from the outside looking in, it's like, okay, we found our intended parent. We found our carrier. Okay. Let's just go get pregnant and then happy Lala baby land. And let's talk about baby showers and let's, you know, whatever. There's so much in between. 200 and the journey just started. It's a marathon, not a sprint. We say that. There you go. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. What would you say is your favorite part about what we get to do as coordinators?
00:16:42
Speaker
just being able to help everybody, and you know, achieve that dream that they've been looking for for so long. The surrogate obviously wants to help the family or the IPs create a family. The IPs want a baby in the end. So when all that comes together, it's just magical at the end. and It's a huge success. Yeah. Oh gosh. Yeah, absolutely. Also expanding your village. because I think- Ooh, tell me more. Yeah, I think, um well first of all, getting into it, I was one of those GCs that you know I was like, I would love a relationship, I'm not gonna push a relationship, but i I'm so into this idea of having a close bond, but I wanna see what their comfort level is.
00:17:24
Speaker
um And now you know they were the ones that I carried for my last journey and I'm their son's godbe godmother, which is awesome. But they're also extended family now where we talk daily and we get to get updates, be part of each other's extended family. And then from there you meet other people too. And then on our aren a group there are surrogates that I still talk to from my first journeys. So that also expands your village as well, right? Just that that communication and being able to meet others or and relate when things don't go right, having someone to lean in on who's probably experienced something like that before. Yeah, absolutely.
00:18:06
Speaker
Absolutely. I mean, and not only as a surrogate, but as a coordinator. I mean, we all are, Ali, it was you. You got to be in like some pictures with one of your your cases. I did. That was a pretty incredible full circle moment. You know, I remember that first call you have with these excited, intended parents who are just starting the process and they don't even know what they don't know at that point. Sure. And um to see after delivery and get to go and meet them and bring them a baby gift and hug their necks and meet their babies and yeah and I was fortunate enough to even get in a picture with it. It just felt like such an honor and it was
00:18:53
Speaker
It was incredible to get to see the the full circle, the full circle moment. They became parents and I played a small part in that. That was incredible. Yeah. Oh gosh, yeah, absolutely. I would say I think one of the harder parts about our job is it doesn't always necessarily have that happy ending that we're hoping. yeah But I think what makes our team so great is maybe despite not that happy ending, you've been cared for, loved, continue to be loved. I know I still chat with some of my my girls who it didn't necessarily have that
00:19:41
Speaker
that picture perfect moment, um but we're still, we have that connection, that extended family in a different way. What about y'all? What would you say maybe is kind of maybe that harder part?
00:19:55
Speaker
The sad moments is the harder part. And somebody's having a miscarriage or, especially if it's like their last embryo, right? It's really the end of the road for them. And I find myself when somebody calls me crying and they're having a miscarriage that I'm also crying. And so it's just a very sad moment. We get through it, of course. It takes. Yeah. It takes a little bit. Yeah. But that's so great that you get to be that call because you're about as close as you can get to, you know, besides being in it. Cause I think family members sure they know that they're going through this and it's tough and it's hard, but as coordinators, I mean, we, we understand that. Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely.
00:20:38
Speaker
Like Angel said, just not getting that happy ending, and whether it's the end of the embryos or three failed transfer transfers to the match is breaking. You know, these intended parents, I think that it's easy to forget that like, even to get to this point, almost always they've been through heartbreak after disappointment, after heartbreaker. disappointment just to even get here. Nobody intends to start their family this way, typically. And so to sit with them, even sit with them over the phone or whatever while they have you know receive one more a crushing blow is awful.
00:21:13
Speaker
Mm-hmm, but we sit and we listen and sometimes they don't want to answer and sometimes they don't want to talk and sometimes they want to cry and we just sit and say I'm sorry and yeah, we follow their lead but I Know at the end of the day like you said that they've been well killed cared for and then they'll say that they'll say that We cared well and we love will and we you know Mm-hmm. Absolutely care them the best that we could know 100% 100% and And I think what I love about it is because we do, we cry with them. We sit and listen to them. And it's hard on us because you aren't just a number. right And then we have each other. right And we get to lean on each other. yeah
00:21:52
Speaker
which I know I'm personally so grateful for. Absolutely. yes We have the best team. Absolutely. That's the next call we make usually. Oh, a hundred percent. Oh my gosh, prepare. Yeah, absolutely. yeah Oh my gosh. Yeah. So what do you think is something that you feel like you learned being a coordinator that maybe you didn't know in your own surrogacy journey? I didn't realize how often surrogates need to go to a maternal fetal medicine doctor. Oh, interesting. I never had to go to one. And it's just common practice now as that extra little step to make sure baby and the GC are safe and healthy. So that was very eye-opening for me. Well, and that just speaks to the constant changing of the industry, which is why it's so important to have that good industry professional team around you. Yeah.
00:22:48
Speaker
and realized how hard it was to qualify as a surrogate. I just thought that I wanted to do it, and so I applied, and then I was matched, and so on this side, and you see people that don't qualify or who are disqualified once the journey has begun, I realized like, wow, it's a pretty low percentage of people who are able to be surrogates. And what an honor it is to be among that. Absolutely, yeah. I thought everyone was just like me. Surrogates were just like me. Learning that you have to meet people where they're at. Not all intended parents are the same. Not all surrogates are the same. and They all have different comfort levels, different um knowledge going into the process. like yeah
00:23:33
Speaker
uh you know some intended parents are starting from scratch they don't even know when you go to the ob b how many appointments to accept so that education piece really looks different and you really have to tailor it to each match individually and same thing with the surrogates you want to meet them where they're at and you um don't want to you know um insult them by telling them something that they might already know but you want to make sure that they're properly prepared and well educated on the process and that everyone feels cared for and that they can come to you with any questions at any time. I think that's such a big, important part of it. And I don't think I realize that as a surrogate.
00:24:14
Speaker
everyone's a little different yeah think everybody's like you you know no for sure for sure so one thing that um I've learned is when I initially started my first journey I didn't get an opportunity to look at a bunch of profiles I was handed one and told about one gentleman who was looking for a surrogate we talked about it we matched and that was it and wasn sure different choices and Whereas with us, with our agency, you, the surrogate gets to look at profiles that match, you know, what she's looking for. And then she gets to choose, she doesn't have to pick just the first ones. right That's pretty cool. So you can come to the opportunity and look for your perfect match and you're not just handed somebody to work with. Yeah. Oh gosh, yeah. Well, and I think that that breathes into
00:25:01
Speaker
I mean, we're, we're helping to cultivate and build that relationship yeah as coordinators. And that step is so crucial, um, to, to what we do. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my goodness. Okay. So what is one thing that you would want to say to any potential woman out there that's thinking about being a surrogate from one surrogate to potential surrogate? What's one thing you would want to say to her? make yeah we' do yeah yeah Make sure you also are on the same page about what you're wanting as far as what you're comfortable with. Whether that's one embryo, two embryos, um what does you know the post delivery look like? Those pieces, because I think that's often a point of contention and a lot of times in a lot of cases. um I don't think we see it so much with us because our communication is so great, but
00:25:57
Speaker
I feel like so often there can be difficulty with those relationships if not everybody's on the same page. Well, and those are big pieces that we get to walk you through from start to finish from when you started with matching to when you're a coordinator. We've listened to that. We hear that we check that, and then we recheck it and we guide and we support through that. So I think that's something that again, having those good industry professionals around you and, and asking those questions, but also not knowing what you don't know. Yeah. Yeah. And we get to fill that in, which is so cool.
00:26:31
Speaker
right Right, but also, ah like, know that it's not in your timeline. Ooh, can you tell me a little bit more about that? I'm just saying, like, don't walk into it thinking, okay, this is when I'm gonna have appointments and this is how it's gonna go and I'm gonna schedule it out, because that's not necessarily how it's going to be. Oh, yes, man, it is a journey for a reason. It is, don't rush things, go through it, enjoy every step that you're gonna go on and take your time. And then, you know, it all flow correctly. It flows in the right timing. yeah You just have to let it be. Trust the process. Trust the process. And if you have questions, we're here for that. We have answers. We have answers, we're here for that. Yeah, 100%, 100%. Oh my goodness. Okay, ladies.
00:27:29
Speaker
What filled your cup this morning? This morning, specifically? Literally or figuratively? What filled your cup? Being surrounded by a great team. Oh, yes, queen. And just having a great week with everyone. Yeah, no, for sure. For sure. Literally, I had a cup of coffee. i love You know I love that life for you. With some soy milk, sweet cream creamer. Figuratively, yeah, spending face-to-face time. As coordinators, we don't get a lot of face-to-face time, maybe over a team's meeting or whatever, but just having some face-to-face time is always fills my gap. It's good, it's good. Yeah. I had a call from a surrogate excited to get ready to start her new journey. and That fills my gap. That was a good one today. Yeah. What about you, Amy? Oh man.
00:28:26
Speaker
um
00:28:29
Speaker
I think I'd have to agree with with Angela being around so many empowering women that are supporting one another loving one another and You had mentioned questions. I feel like there's no stupid question for me because I'm still learning um So just the kindness and being gracious and empathetic Humans, I think would be my we're all still learning oh it's always always yeah yeah i would have to say the picture i received this afternoon um for transfer uh all my glory i love it were they so cute oh they were adorable and
00:29:12
Speaker
Oh my gosh, fun I love it. Love the update pictures. You guys, I love being on a team with you. like me Oh my gosh, I love you guys. I love you guys. You guys are such rock stars. You're such rock stars. And I think I'm so proud of what we do for our intended parents and our surrogates as they're going through this big journey, all the ups, all the downs. And, um, and I love what we do. So thanks you guys. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Whitney. Thank you so much for joining us on this episode of Me, You, and Who. We appreciate your time and hope you enjoyed our discussion today. As we wrap, we would like to remind you of some of the ways that you can stay connected with us and be part of the Me, You, and Who podcast community. Firstly, if you haven't already, make sure to subscribe to our podcast on your favorite platform.
00:30:05
Speaker
Hit that subscribe button so you never miss an episode and can stay up to date with our latest content. But that's not all. We also have an exciting YouTube channel where we share some bonus content, behind the scenes, glimpses, and video versions of our episodes. Head over to YouTube and hit that subscribe button there as well and don't forget to click the notification bell so you'll be the first to know when the new episodes go live and for more exclusive updates, engaging discussions and a chance to connect with fellow listeners. Be sure to follow us on our social media accounts. You can find us on Instagram, Facebook and TikTok at create a happy family.
00:30:44
Speaker
If you're interested in finding out more about creating a happy family, please visit us at www.createahappiefamily.com. Thank you again for being part of the me, you and who community. Your support means the world to us. I can't wait for you to join us next time as we continue to share stories and journeys of creating happy families.