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S3E12 Who?! Growing Up with Surrogacy: Kids Share Their Stories
62 Plays23 days ago
Summary
In this engaging episode, children whose mom has been a surrogate for two different families open up about their personal experiences and evolving understanding of surrogacy. Interviewed by peers whose moms were also surrogates, the discussion dives into how they explain the concept of surrogacy to their friends and the excitement they feel about being part of such unique family dynamics. The conversation highlights the importance of clear communication, empathy, and the supportive relationships formed between the children and the families they help. Through their candid and insightful reflections, these young voices demonstrate that, despite any complexities, surrogacy is a journey filled with connection, joy, and mutual understanding.
Takeaways
-Maggie's perspective on her mom's surrogacy has evolved positively.
-The children feel happy to be part of the surrogate family's story.
-Surrogacy is seen as a fun and exciting experience by the children.
-They find it easy to explain their mom's role to peers.
-Most peers view surrogacy as a cool concept rather than something weird.
-Curiosity about surrogacy is common among their friends.
-The children appreciate the relationships formed with the families.
-They encourage other kids to embrace the experience of having a surrogate parent.
-Asking questions about surrogacy is important for understanding.
-The children feel their family circle has expanded positively.
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Recommended
Transcript
Introduction: Kids Take Over the Podcast
00:00:01
Speaker
Hi everyone, and welcome to Me, You, and Who. Today's episode is extra special because the kids are taking over the mic. We're getting a unique perspective from a set of siblings whose mom has been a surrogate for two different families.
00:00:18
Speaker
Leading this fun and insightful conversation are my daughter, Claire, and Executive Director Katie and Glade's daughter, Maggie. They'll share what it's like to have a mom who's a surrogate, how they explain it to their friends, and the special connections they've built along the way.
00:00:34
Speaker
Get ready for an honest, heartwarming discussion as we see surrogacy through the eyes of some of its biggest supporters, our kids.
Understanding Surrogacy and Egg Donation with Whitney Hall
00:00:43
Speaker
Me, you, and who?
00:00:46
Speaker
Who knew it would take more than two people to have a baby in a world where infertility is no longer a taboo topic. This podcast will take you through all of the different aspects of surrogacy and egg donation through the lens of many who walk this journey in different ways.
00:01:03
Speaker
My name is Whitney Hall. and i am a two time surrogate now turned surrogacy coordinator for egg donor and surrogate solutions. the very agency I used when I chose to carry for two amazing families.
00:01:17
Speaker
With this podcast, it is our goal to help guide and support you as you learn about what it takes to grow a family in an alternative way, as well as hear inspiring and beautiful stories of how this path has changed lives forever.
Meet Graham, Brennan, and Mallory
00:01:32
Speaker
We can't wait for you to hear about just one more way happy families are created every day.
00:01:39
Speaker
Hi everyone, um i'm my name is Maggie, I'm 13 years old, my mom is Katie, the Executive Director of Egg Donor and Surrogate Solutions. Hi everyone, my name is Claire, i am 10 years old, and my mom is Whitney, the regular voice you hear on Me, You, and Who.
00:01:57
Speaker
Today we have some super special guests, Graham, Brennan, and Mallory. Their mom, Claire, was a surrogate twice and carried for two different families. We're so excited to hear what y'all's perspective was.
Memories of Surrogacy: Books and Early Understanding
00:02:08
Speaker
That's right. A lot of people know about house surrogacy from the parents or the surrogate perspective. But what about the kids in the family? We have so many questions, but before we get started, why don't you say your names and how old you are?
00:02:23
Speaker
My name is Mallory and I'm 7 years old. My name is Brennan and I'm 10 years old. My name is Graham and I'm 11 years old. What's a fun fact about yourself, you know? My fun fact is I have a job and I do voiceovers.
00:02:38
Speaker
My fun fact is i Love holding babies and getting to like know and getting to see what they look like. A fun fact about myself is I have a pet snake.
00:02:52
Speaker
Cool. So to start, how old were you whenever you remember your mom being a surrogate for the first time? um I was two. I was four. I was six years old. Wow, so y'all were pretty young.
00:03:04
Speaker
What do you remember from it? Do you remember any books or anything like that? Um, I don't really remember anything at all. I remember, um my mom gave us, like, a or couple to tell us what, like, surrogacy means. Yeah.
00:03:24
Speaker
Um, my mom, I know my mom read me the book called Kangaroo Pouch. Um, that just basically explained what it was all about. So how did you explain or how did she explain surrogacy to you?
00:03:38
Speaker
um ah And what do you think whenever she first told you what she was doing? um How she explained it to me and my brother and sister was that it's like if...
00:03:55
Speaker
If one family wants to have a baby but the mom's belt stomach or belly doesn't work then and it's not healthy or a problem with them, then they can get another person to help do it for them and it's called surrogacy.
Interactions and Memories with Surrogate Families
00:04:13
Speaker
Were you all able to meet the families that your mom was helping?
00:04:18
Speaker
um i oh We met Aaron and Rachel and Lisa.
00:04:29
Speaker
That's so fun. Where did y'all meet them? We met them at their house. At their house, yeah. um Is there any super fun memories that y'all had with them? um we went to a food place with them. Yeah? We walked around McKinney in when baby Cassette was born.
00:04:51
Speaker
I remember going to, i forgot which baby it was, but I remember going to Wins baptism. And home we went out of town. With them?
00:05:02
Speaker
Yeah, that's so cool. What was that experience like? um It was fun getting to hold the baby. Yeah, that sounds super cool.
00:05:13
Speaker
I remember whenever my mom was a surrogate, I was super little, so I don't fully remember it, but it was super cool to be able to be like, yeah, my mom got the opportunity to help that family. Did y'all attend any baby showers?
00:05:26
Speaker
I went to one baby shower. yeah We attended Baby Cassette's baby shower, and we got to, like... swim in their pool and get to see what, and we got to see what, if the baby was gonna look like.
00:05:44
Speaker
Yeah? Like the dad or the mom or like something else.
Explaining Surrogacy to Friends
00:05:50
Speaker
How did you explain to your friends or your teachers what was going on? Or did you need to?
00:05:56
Speaker
and we didn't need to explain because they never wondered. Yeah? Okay. And did your parents help prep you in any way for that? um Prep means prepare.
00:06:06
Speaker
Yeah. They told us that um if anybody asked what was going on, and then we could, like, they told us what we would we were supposed to say to them. Yeah.
00:06:22
Speaker
Was it weird seeing your mom with a big belly but knowing that that wasn't going to be your sibling? At this point, having two younger siblings, it's kind of normal to me. Yeah. What was it like seeing the babies after they were born?
00:06:37
Speaker
Did you go to the hospital or did you see them after they came home? We saw them after they came home because the first one was during COVID. Oh, yeah. And the second one, they were the baby was born with a special heart, so we couldn't go.
00:06:51
Speaker
Yeah, but I bet it was super cool to be able to see them whenever they came home. Yeah. Did one of the babies go to your house, or did you, like, eat together for another one? and They came to our house.
00:07:04
Speaker
Yeah. Both of them or just one? ah Both of them. it It wasn't at the same time, but they did come. Yeah. and how how do you think Cosette's parents and Emerson's parents felt about your mom carrying Emerson and Cosette?
00:07:23
Speaker
um I think that um they felt that it was really kind. Yeah? I think that's super cool. um Do y'all's families still keep in touch with them?
00:07:37
Speaker
Yes, our family and their family are really good friends.
Gratitude for Friendships Through Surrogacy
00:07:42
Speaker
yeah And they if you if you like if you are a surrogate for someone, then it helps gain their trust and you'll probably become really good friends.
00:07:55
Speaker
Yeah, it's a really great way to grow relationships, right? Yeah. um What was the coolest or your favorite memory of the whole experience?
00:08:08
Speaker
My favorite memory was jumping in their pool. Yeah? The first time that I got in, I found out that um it was really deep. What about you, Mallory? When I got in, found out that it was deep, so um I went to get a pool noodle. I sat in the middle.
00:08:25
Speaker
um i hold on to the front and then hu the back, and then it would just hold me up. Yeah? My favorite memory is from when...
00:08:36
Speaker
They came back from the hospital. We get to meet we got got to meet the babies, and it was really cool that um our mom my mom, they they made a baby, but it's not a brother or sister.
Advice to Potential Surrogates and Their Children
00:08:52
Speaker
Yeah. What would you tell other moms who are thinking about becoming surrogates? And what would you say to other kids whose moms are thinking about becoming surrogate?
00:09:03
Speaker
I would tell them it's a great way to help for the for them to be a better person and to make the family feel loved.
00:09:17
Speaker
What about y'all? um I think that um it was really kind and that they they would think that they were cared for.
00:09:28
Speaker
Yeah. Mallory? Um, I think they were thankful. Mm-hmm. Okay, well, thank you guys for sharing your super cool story with us. Can I leave now?
00:09:40
Speaker
Before we end, do you have any thoughts or comments about all this? nope No. No? Okay. You guys, thanks so much for hosting that. That's awesome. course. It was fun. It's very nice. I'm glad you had fun.
00:09:55
Speaker
So, okay, was it fun? I mean, how often are you guys around other kids that whose moms were surrogates? Not often, really. Not often at all. yeah Yeah. So now that because we chatted.
00:10:09
Speaker
oh gosh. It was it was a year ago, over a year ago, something like think two years ago. Something like that. Yeah. Yeah. Something like that. It's been a minute. It's been a minute. So since then, so Maggie, how like have your thoughts kind of just around it evolved? How have they evolved, I guess, as far as just.
00:10:29
Speaker
Thinking about your mom being a surrogate, an egg donor, just all that. Yeah, I don't know. I think I've just like my eyes have been opened a little bit more to like why she was in a surrogate.
00:10:42
Speaker
And I think it's just like it makes me like really happy that my mom got the opportunity to do that. And that I just like now I'm close to this family and now this family has like an amazing child that like they love so
Evolving Understanding and Appreciation of Surrogacy
00:10:54
Speaker
much. And it was like it's really it's just really cool to be able to like be a part of their story. Yeah, for sure, because you were so little when it happened. And so now, like, but you've since, I mean, you guys have stayed close. You've seen Pace and, you know, just things like that. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Okay, what about you, Claire Bear?
00:11:11
Speaker
What? Well, so how have things... Because you were so little when I was a surrogate. But like since then, we see Caroline and Eleanor at least every year for their birthday. Yes, of course. Caroline and Eleanor are just so cute, identical twins.
00:11:26
Speaker
They're so fun. They're so fun. So for you guys... So since this all just since your mom, Maggie, was a surrogate egg donor, have you has it come up in conversation with your friends, especially because I mean, right. ever Oh, what do your parents do? yeah Or, you know, like that kind of thing. That's the that's really the only time whenever it's come up in conversation. And then they're like, oh, like.
00:11:51
Speaker
what's that uh-huh and then i just basically explain like some people um are unable to have a baby and my mom gets the opportunity um to help people find their match so that way those people can have a child so like it's like nobody nobody's like oh whoa that's crazy like i think it's just like it's just they're like oh that's a really cool thing yeah yeah that's just most people aren't like oh my gosh like that's weird like nobody really like cares they think it's super cool Yeah, for sure. Yeah, sure. Have you ever had you said most people have you ever had a situation where somebody asked questions or they are kind of like or or they do say like, oh, that's I don't understand that or that's weird or like kind of some people like.
00:12:35
Speaker
Especially since we're still kind of like younger. Some people don't fully understand that like even though like yes, your mom was able to have you super easily. Not all bodies were built the same. Right. So like some people just like.
00:12:49
Speaker
don't completely understand the situation and I don't think they mean to be like rude. They're just like curious. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. For sure. No, I think that's a really great point to make. A lot of times, sometimes people are so afraid to ask questions because they don't want to come across as rude, but yes you're not going to, you don't know what you don't know. It doesn't offend me at all. I think it's like asking questions is great. For sure. Absolutely.
00:13:13
Speaker
What's the best way that you have explained it? So you're 13. Yes. So what's the best way that you explain it to other 13 year olds? um Usually like for, yeah, like I said earlier, like they'll be like, oh, what does your mom do?
00:13:27
Speaker
And I'm like, basically she helps people who aren't able to have a child. And she sometimes matches, depending on the situation, she matches them up with somebody. Mm-hmm.
00:13:37
Speaker
um who is able to have that child, and then depending on if it's because um they don't have the right eggs or like whatever's going on in that scenario, then they'll either transfer the eggs, and then she will have the baby for them, and then it will go back to them, or um the eggs will be donated, basically. There you go. wait Okay, yeah, for sure. Do you ever get follow-up questions of, like, wait, I don't get the science behind that, or, like, yeah? Yeah, sometimes, like...
00:14:06
Speaker
I mean, I understand it, but, like, some parts of it still kind of confuse me. For sure. So, like, I answer all the questions I can. But, like, a lot of the time the follow-up question will be, like like, how is that, like, transferred? Like, how did they just, like, take the eggs out of somebody? Sure. Like, yeah.
00:14:22
Speaker
I usually – still don't fully understand that part. So I'll just kind of be like, you know, that's kind of still a mystery to me. All I know is that they just get – they get taken from one person and given to another. There go. For sure. For sure. There's magic. There's magic. That explains egg donor. There you go. Yeah, for sure. For sure. Yes. But there's magic and there's the fun science behind it.
00:14:43
Speaker
Yes. What about you, Claire? Have you been in a situation? So you're 10 in fourth grade. Have you ever been in a situation where someone will ask you, well, hey, what does your mom do? And how do you kind of explain that? Um, I've never really been in a situation. i just tell my friends that, hey, guess what? My mom's a surrogate. She's going to have another baby or two for some other people. Or two. That has happened. You have had two sets of twins, myself included.
00:15:14
Speaker
Yes, yes, you're right. um Caroline and Eleanor, you know, yeah they're twins. yes And um people are just like, wow, that's cool. Can you explain a bit more? So I do. And they're like, oh, I get that now.
00:15:28
Speaker
And then that's that. Yeah, that's that. It's pretty simple. I feel like sometimes we grownups tend to try and make things more complicated and you guys make it like way easy, simple.
Embracing New Family Dynamics and Curiosity
00:15:37
Speaker
Yeah. But then again, we are children.
00:15:41
Speaker
Well, yes, you're right. But yes. OK, so my last question for you guys, if you could say one thing to other kids whose moms either are surrogates or egg donors or thinking about being a surrogate or an egg donor, what's the one thing that you would want to say to those kiddos?
00:16:04
Speaker
um I don't know that like it's like a fun thing. Like, I don't know how to say it, but like it's like exciting. Like it's kind of like getting a new sibling and just like basically making a new friend. And I would just say like, even though you might be kind of like confused at first, like it's going to turn out being super cool. And like, especially in my case, like we built amazing relationships with them.
00:16:24
Speaker
Yeah. Like even though you might be like confused or like concerned on what's going on, um like just remembering that like your mom's doing this amazing thing for other people and she's getting to like spread love.
00:16:35
Speaker
For sure. For sure. I think one of my favorite things that um because your mom came to see me and um that's where her intended parents live. We live in the same city. yeah. And I remember her telling me, oh, yeah, pace come up Pace came up to me and was like, oh, hi, Miss Katie.
00:16:50
Speaker
um where Where are Tripp and Grace and Maggie? Like that he won it he was yeah more interested in hanging out with you guys for sure. Yeah, absolutely. yeah What would you say, Claire?
00:17:01
Speaker
I would say kind of what she said, but like, you're getting to make new friends. It's gonna be so fun, and you get to meet the baby and the people who want the baby.
00:17:14
Speaker
you know, it's gonna be just a whole new fun experience. And like you say, try new things. I do say try new things for sure. Absolutely. Absolutely.
00:17:24
Speaker
But you're right. It's I mean, both of you, to your point, you guys are like your family, if you will, is, you know, kind of growing bigger in the sense of you just have more people in your circle that you get to love and you have kind of a special connection with, which is really neat and fun.
00:17:40
Speaker
Like Caroline and Eleanor and Tristan. Exactly. Yeah,
Conclusion: Engaging with the Podcast Community
00:17:44
Speaker
absolutely. To her point, for sure. Yeah. Well, that's awesome, you guys. Thanks for sharing. course.
00:17:51
Speaker
Thank you so much for joining us on this episode of Me, You, and Who. We appreciate your time and hope you enjoyed our discussion today. As we wrap, we would like to remind you of some of the ways that you can stay connected with us and be part of the me, you and who podcast community.
00:18:09
Speaker
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00:18:22
Speaker
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00:18:45
Speaker
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00:19:02
Speaker
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