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Ep: 6. Success and Celebration
85 Plays1 year ago
https://www.instagram.com/awakenadhdpodcast/Still on a high and maybe a little bit hung over from their SEMI-PRECIOUS launch party, Amber and Jade talk about their too-tight new jeans, anxiety about the people they forgot to invite and why the hell they used Facebook to setup the event!
Jade explains why she wasn’t following the SEMI-PRECIOUS Instagram page, why celebration is an important ritual in one’s self esteem and how she feels like a success in launching this podcast even if nobody listens to it.
Amber reveals how she built a “boyfriend brand vision board” when she was single that had height requirements on it. And her modern day skill in self-celebrating achievements through the consumption of Portuguese tarts.
Shout out to Amber’s husband Michael who did 3 trips to the bottle shop for extra gin and champagne and our family who drove a long way to support us.
It’s a short episode so a good one to listen to on a walk or drive! If you want to her Amber and Jade talk about SEMI-PRECIOUS beaver T-shirts, Portuguese tarts, why we should all get out the “good crockery” for everyday moments.
Little Gem: Celebrate more, the big things and the little things.
To follow and subscribe to your mildly unhinged SEMI-PRECIOUS hosts, you can connect via Instagram and Linktree
Connect with Jade:
If you are wanting to understand more about Jade and her counselling practice or ADHD Coaching you can visit Awaken ADHD or on socials Instagram and Facebook
Connect with Amber:
If you’ are curious about Amber and her brand agency you can visit The Edison Agency or follow her on socials LinkedIn or Instagram
CREDITS
Producer: Amber Bonney and Jade Bonney
Hosts: Amber Bonney and Jade Bonney
Sound Editing: Jade Bonney
Social Content Creator: Amber Bonney
Creative Director: Amber Bonney
Recommended
Transcript
Acknowledgement of Traditional Landowners
00:00:00
Speaker
This podcast is recorded on the lands of the Boon Wurrung country and we wish to acknowledge them as traditional owners. We recognise First Peoples of Australia as the original storytellers of this country and pay our respects to elders past, present and emerging.
Introduction & Episode Overview
00:00:19
Speaker
You are listening to a semi-precious podcast hosted by Uncut and Unpolished sisters Amber and Jade.
00:00:28
Speaker
Hello, welcome to episode six, where we are going to talk about our launch party defining success and the art of celebration.
Focus on Launch Party Over Friendships
00:00:40
Speaker
Hello, Jane. Hello. Hello. We are indeed. I know we said we were going to talk about friendships, but that's been bumped because this is way more exciting and fun.
00:00:49
Speaker
It's more exciting. We've got lots of social content, so we need to capitalize on that while we actually can. All righty then. So you want to kick it off, Amz?
00:01:00
Speaker
Yeah, I haven't actually got as many notes as I usually have, so I'm just going to fly by the seat of my pants. So on Friday night, we hosted a small boutique celebration, which we nearly canceled because the last kind of couple of months has been a total shit show for our family. Deep breath. Deep breath, yes.
Importance of Celebrating Achievements
00:01:21
Speaker
And then Jade gave Sage counselling advice and said, well, if we don't do it now, it'll just be another thing that we have to reschedule and we'll add to our burden of uncompleted tasks. Add to our ever amounting unfinished projects and tasks. And I think it was just
00:01:46
Speaker
We don't celebrate enough. And you were talking in one of the episodes about the fact that you just, I think it was the introduction that you seemed to jump over things that you've completed. You just move from thing to thing to thing without actually stopping and acknowledging what you have achieved. So I thought, well, let's stop and acknowledge this and celebrate the success.
Launch Party Details and Challenges
00:02:11
Speaker
And that got me thinking about celebration and success. So how was the night for you?
00:02:16
Speaker
I had very tight jeans on because they were new. Mine were tight too. Yeah. Okay. Just tight and two sizes smaller, but I'll get to that. Very tight jeans. It was really fun. I actually had a really good time. I managed after the chaos of the day and kind of getting it set up and realizing at the last minute that I'd forgotten to invite.
00:02:41
Speaker
so many people and then had messaged other people who said, oh, I don't use Facebook because that's how we sent out our invite, which was sort of just a dumb idea actually in general because I don't even use Facebook really anymore. But Instagram doesn't let you set up events. So anyway, so that was a bit annoying. And I had a bit of a last minute panic that suddenly people were going to say it on social media and then go, oh, how come you didn't invite me?
00:03:07
Speaker
And then I had a whole bunch of cancellations. So then I got that last minute kind of panic that, oh my God, no one's going to turn
Guest Attendance Anxiety & Event Relief
00:03:15
Speaker
up.
00:03:15
Speaker
That is my forever panic ever since I was little. Everyone feels that way about an event or... Do they? I thought it was just me. I just thought nobody's going to show up and I'm lame. Uh, but it was really fun. And we, um, if you have a look on socials, if you don't follow us on Instagram, just get onto that, uh, pronto. I wasn't following as either.
00:03:42
Speaker
So we had a photographer and a videographer. Shout out to Petros from Condos Photography. It was amazing. That was really great to have someone else there capturing the moments because typically what happens when I go anywhere is I spend more time taking obsessive photos of every angle and every person that I actually forget to be a participant in the
Capturing Memories with Professionals
00:04:10
Speaker
night.
00:04:10
Speaker
And I always make you take the photos because you always have the better phone. So I'm always just looking for you here, take a photo of me and my friends. So, yeah, that was really, really good just to be able to go, you know what, it's captured. Although I think every time the camera was faced towards me, I had
00:04:29
Speaker
like food in my hand and in my mouth. So I'm conscious of how many terrible shots it can be of me eating or pulling some bad face. But anyway, it was fantastic to capture that.
00:04:44
Speaker
It was a really fun night and it was just great to have. It wasn't, you know, huge, maybe, I don't know, 35 people.
Family Support and Success Reflection
00:04:52
Speaker
Yeah, it was quite intimate. But, you know, good music, had some great snacks. The platter you did was delicious. Thank you. Thank you. And I just kind of.
00:05:03
Speaker
literally threw it together last minute, not just that, oh, this whole thing I threw together. Literally, I just bought all the things and pretty much threw them on a platter. But that's what a grazing table looks like, isn't it? And shout out to your lovely hubby for doing a million trips at night to get more bubbles and pizza and all the different things that he did.
00:05:25
Speaker
I'd already sent him out of the photonic water because we'd already had like 15 GNTs before. I hadn't had 15 GNTs or either of you. I realised quite quickly we could have run out of fever tree bottles. So he did a fever tree run and then a champagne run and then pizza. He's a good man. Yeah, he's a good man.
00:05:49
Speaker
Yeah, no, it was, um, it was lovely to have our family there as well. I think it's really nice to be supported by, you know, the people you love that mean a lot to you. And our family has gone through quite a lot. You know, well, our family's always going through quite a lot,
Event Planning and Children's Contributions
00:06:02
Speaker
right? When is there a calm time? Um, but I think in the last few months, quite significant events have occurred and, um, yeah, just for them to drive in on a winter's evening.
00:06:17
Speaker
It was pretty impressive. It was horrendous. Yeah, but they should ask. Yeah, I did feel bad because I didn't get a photo with one of my best friends from high school that made the effort of coming and then just managed to get no photos together. And I actually didn't get one with my husband either. So I did feel a bit bad about that.
00:06:39
Speaker
There's probably a few captured though. Just not posed with your best angle. Amber and I have best angles and we fight for the right side of the camera to be on, to get our best angles. It's always a battle, isn't it? Yep. Depends on my hairstyle as to which angle is the best on that day. And I've got the scar on the side of my face, so I'm always kind of angling for the other side.
Personal Growth Through Hosting
00:07:07
Speaker
Angling for the other side.
00:07:09
Speaker
I can see a note you got here about not overtly planned, but perfectly imperfect. Yeah. I don't think that really we didn't know how the night was going to go. We just kept throwing ideas at each other ad hoc. And at the last minute, it just seemed to fall into place. And I think we can, we can thank our children for that. Your daughter for her, um, Google slides presentation. That was pretty amazing. And her Q and a tell us about that.
00:07:38
Speaker
Yeah, so we had the two eight-year-olds doing a Q&A via a slideshow, so that meant really we didn't have to organize speeches because they just asked us questions. It was just adorable.
00:07:51
Speaker
Yeah, it was very cute. Yeah. It was very cute. And then, and then my daughter did her little speech with her post-it notes that she just kind of kept throwing across the ground every time she'd finished one. And that was, that was pretty adorable too. She threw in there, something about you're in a critic, you know, just a nod to the therapist mother. You know, she's been raised, what household?
00:08:14
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah.
Sisters' Personal Style and Coordination
00:08:16
Speaker
So anyway, it was lovely to celebrate and I felt quite, um, you know, whether we have anybody listening or, you know, what the measure of success is for a podcast that night, I felt successful. I felt like, you know what?
00:08:35
Speaker
I've done something that I'm really proud of. I've learned technology. I'm editing this goddamn thing when I can barely, as Amber has mentioned, copy and paste or work Instagram. She's back and forth text messages last night about changing your profile picture.
00:08:53
Speaker
I don't know. It just frustrates me, especially at that time of night. I can't navigate it. But I think I was really proud of what we had achieved so far, even if it's just to this point. Yeah, same. I mean, I think we've been beavering away at this. Oh, can you change that? I don't like beavering.
00:09:14
Speaker
No, I don't know. It's a beaver. No. Okay. All right. Go with beaver. Fine. We've been beavering away. Can we get t-shirts? Say beaver anymore. I'm beavering. Any precious beaver. There you go.
00:09:36
Speaker
I have matching t-shirts. You'll be able to see them on social, so that was pretty cute. And her fingernails. I did my nails. I did my nails. That's very exciting. I did get her nails done, which is possibly a near first. Yeah, it will. I had them done for my wedding. It's a long time.
00:09:58
Speaker
And then for this, you know, the big moments in life. The green that I got, the vibrant green is actually exceptionally hard to match. So now I have to wear black for the next two weeks until I change colors. Cause I can't get anything to go with these.
Defining Personal Success
00:10:10
Speaker
I have on matching green socks. Well, it doesn't really matter. I'm wearing rainbows. So, you know, just wear rainbow abs. I can't do that. You don't wear rainbows. I need some color picking up on the nails. You're in the black asshole outfit and I'm in the rainbows sunshine.
00:10:27
Speaker
It's true. Alrighty. So, here we're talking about success and celebration. So, you know, I think it's always interesting to talk about what success is to each individual. What are your initial thoughts before I kind of take us through a little process? Oh, goodness.
00:10:46
Speaker
Okay, what are my thoughts on success? Well, obviously it's highly personal and subjective. We've talked in the past about my, I'm not necessarily good at acknowledging moments. I just sort of take it and keep going. But what I will say is things like
00:11:06
Speaker
I've always been a real goal setter. Whether it's an aspiration or a decade ago, I was building vision boards when I was single and I wanted a long-term relationship, but actually having an aspiration. Was that vision boards for a relationship? When everyone was going through that period of building life mood boards,
00:11:31
Speaker
I think that's still a thing and I quite like it. Anyway, you did one for relationships, okay? We do that at work really too still for brands. Putting our spray from out there and getting it. So this was your boyfriend brand? That's my boyfriend brand. Does Mike meet her boyfriend? He did meet him at the height requirements. Oh, he did, didn't he? She had a strict height requirement just saying. It was minimum six two. Okay, anyway, that's another discussion.
00:11:59
Speaker
So aspiration, achieving that aspiration is definitely something that I, that's something that I, you know, reflect upon and say, I wanted to do that and I've done it. Sometimes just overcoming adversity. So if you've been through a difficult time and then you've come out the other end, that's definitely something that I try to take the time to acknowledge, even if it's just privately.
Dimensions of Success Exercise
00:12:27
Speaker
Can I just ask what would privately acknowledging it be? Internal monologue. I've gotten through a difficult situation and I'll just take a breath and say, you know what, you did that. Good job. Go and eat a Portuguese custard tart. Oh, I really want a Portuguese custard tart. I'm certainly successful because I do eat a lot of Portuguese tart.
00:12:51
Speaker
I don't have enough of them in my life. Maybe this is a problem. Maybe I just need to order regular Portuguese. Mind you, I just went and threw a piece of chocolate cake in my mouth before we came and sat down because I was hungry. So I threw it at my face. All righty. So you celebrate the small things. Try to have the more contemporary skill. More contemporary skill. Natural state that I've been doing that my whole life. It's not a weak bath with one thing.
00:13:22
Speaker
Right. So you have to think, oh, I should acknowledge this and then do it. All right. What's your exercise? You get a lot of notes here.
00:13:30
Speaker
I do have a lot of notes. They're all very important. So I was listening to the Imperfects podcast. Shout out to them. They're absolutely brilliant. Love it. Love their work. And their guest was Kemi Nekferpil the other day. And I think they've already had it on before. She's a leading Australian empowerment coach and author of a book I am yet to read, but is on the list called Power, a Women's Guide to Living and Leading Without Apology. I think you'd probably like that, Amber. I haven't read it. I'll get on to that.
00:13:59
Speaker
She was quite fabulous and she did a little exercise with them on the podcast the other day. And it's quite similar to processes I use with my own clients. So I thought we'd give it a bit of a try or a version of it today. Are you prepared? One of my great fears is role play. And I feel like what you're doing is actually another version of role play.
00:14:22
Speaker
Why are you moving the mirror board around right now? It's very distracting. Okay. She's highlighting and moving my notes and, uh, yes. So here we go. Well, this isn't role play amps. All right. All you have to do is follow my instructions and then after you've had your turn, then you'll do the same for me. And so I kind of broke success down into just how many have I got? One, two, three.
00:14:48
Speaker
That's five, right? Yes, I can count to five. Five areas. Now these aren't, you know, nobody's really defined these areas. These are just the ones I was looking at today. I've got social, family, achievement, financial, maybe they're just all encompassing wellbeing. What I'm going to ask you to do is just close your eyes. Oh, now I've really scared her. Okay. Close your eyes and just take a few slow breaths. All right. Shoot.
00:15:17
Speaker
All right, now you're in your head. I want you to think about what success means to you. Putting food on the table, so financial freedom, learning and developing, so not staying still, so change. And I suppose maybe reaching milestones that I've set for myself or that we've set together as a family. And just take a breath and travel down to your gut.
00:15:43
Speaker
It probably means feeling secure and stable. So having a sense of structure and familiarity and stability. Take another breath and now move to your heart. When you feel into your heart, what a successful life. I think it's fun. It's traveling. It's,
00:16:12
Speaker
Having a happy family where there's joy and a lack of conflict, where my children are achieving and content in themselves, where we feel connected.
Exploring Success Acknowledgement
00:16:31
Speaker
Alrighty, you do me. Okay. Can you put on a counselor voice for me please?
00:16:39
Speaker
Hold your eyes, take a deep breath, hold it for a second and then exhale. In your head, so the functional side, what does success look like for you? Having financial security, being good at my job, recognized as somewhat successful. All right, now take another breath. What does your intuition tell you that success looks like?
00:17:08
Speaker
enjoying the process wherever I'm at, as long as those around me are healthy and we have enough, that that's successful enough. Now moving on to your heart. Loved and close to the people that I love and want to be close to, are safe in those relationships and in my own health and wellbeing. Okay. So if you had to just still work down,
00:17:35
Speaker
The initial head stuff was about extrinsic validation and needing other people to see. Brene Brown talks about that scarcity mindset. We don't have enough, so we're always kind of scared and reaching and looking for enough. I think the gut was sitting more in that joy and experience and moment to moment.
00:18:03
Speaker
life and my heart was prioritising success as being love and belonging and connection. I think that the good segue here is if success means different things based on what part of us is looking at it, what lens we're looking through.
Celebration vs. Validation
00:18:23
Speaker
whether we're looking through the lens of external validation or culturally imposed success versus what it really means for us personally to be successful, would then I guess speak to how we celebrate it, right? Well, I've got a note here, arrogance versus acknowledgement. If we're valuing our success,
00:18:44
Speaker
and acknowledging it based on the things that are coming more from our instinct and our, you know, our heart space. I know that sounds a bit winky, but you know, then it's not going to have the arrogance. It's going to be genuine acknowledgement. Yeah. The core question is why don't we celebrate more or do we, do we celebrate enough? Do people feel like they celebrate? And what is genuine celebration versus what is just for validation?
00:19:12
Speaker
Everyone seems to celebrate their fish and chips on a plate, right?
00:19:18
Speaker
Yeah. Well, I suppose that's subjective to what each individual feels like it's a celebration. It could be, you know, you might've caught that fish and you might be celebrating the catch. And you've caught it and cooked it, then you go and shoot away. I highly doubt it though. All right. So what do you think is, is worth celebrating and how, what does it mean to you to celebrate your successes?
00:19:44
Speaker
For me, it's about celebrating milestones. For example, there's always a lot of conjecture around birthday time. Especially as you get older, lots of people complain about their birthdays and talk about how they feel another year older and how depressing that is. I've always felt the sense of gratitude that I've made another 12 months in your hectic life.
00:20:09
Speaker
in my hectic life, but also just in good health. Like it's arrogant to complain about it because lots of people actually don't even make it to the next birthday. And so to make it next birthday and just be able to celebrate that extra 300 and how many days are there? I think. Yeah. I want everybody to celebrate a birthday. Cause I think it's a great excuse to, to get together and to be close to people and to
00:20:36
Speaker
you know, eat cake or Portuguese tarts, right?
Embracing Life's Celebrations
00:20:39
Speaker
And good champagne. And good champagne. Yeah. I made a note here that celebrating can be a bit like using the good crockery. Yeah. That was like the good, the wedding crockery that just never came out of the cupboard or the good glasses. There was always the good glasses growing up. I do have the good glasses. I was thinking about them this morning. I need to actually put them out, my good gin glasses and my good champagne glasses.
00:21:03
Speaker
Yeah. And just the idea that you just reserve them for a special occasion, but those special occasions never really, like they're so few and far between that you're not really actually enjoying those things. I sort of feel that way about celebrating is if you can build in the ritual to just do more micro celebrations or more opportunities like we did with the, with the launch and just saying, Hey, we've achieved something. We'd love to share it with you.
00:21:32
Speaker
It may not be perfect. It may not be perfect. It may not be a chart-topping podcast, but it's something we're doing and that we're proud of. Success is very subjective. Like you said, we're proud of it, so we're going to celebrate it. How we celebrate success, obviously it's very different to somebody who has just had back surgery. Success might be walking to the bathroom and back
00:21:59
Speaker
And those small moment to moment acknowledgments of achievement actually, I don't know, increase our self-worth. And if we don't celebrate those moments, are we just missing opportunities to actually say, I'm good enough? Yeah. I also think it just comes down to the basic sentiment that we only live once. We don't have to put a cap on how many fun things we do in life.
00:22:26
Speaker
as many things as we possibly can.
Celebrating Milestones with Others
00:22:29
Speaker
I'm sorry, but your trip to Canada for Christmas, you just kept fun, so you're now done. I've still got 10 holidays in fact I've planned the notes in my phone.
00:22:40
Speaker
You do. I mean, there's definitely those sort of quiet ways of acknowledging myself, but also it's about celebrating with other people. It's usually about sharing that together. And I'm pretty good at also celebrating other people's milestones and even acknowledging them when they haven't acknowledged themselves because I think that's important. Do I need to acknowledge you more? Probably. And not let you skip over things.
00:23:11
Speaker
Yeah, probably. I just think it is really important and I think our self-worth can be really tied up in it. If we just constantly just keep going and moving on to the next thing, I did this and I should be proud of it or they did that and I'm proud of them. And celebration can be a phone call, a text message or a Portuguese tart.
00:23:32
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. I do lots of text message acknowledgements. It's more moments, but better than nothing. Oh, what else do I like that? On a t-shirt, the Portuguese tart. Oh, we've got beaver here. We've got to have a lot of t-shirts. Semi-precious beaver, semi-precious tart. Semi-precious tart. Celebratory tart. All right. I saw you shifting notes again. What are you doing?
00:23:56
Speaker
It wasn't shifting notes. It's just, we had the wrong topic. Oh, and is that your perfectionism? You are actually fixing up the notes as we're having, be mindful and present, Amber. A mirror is that you can work live. Can work live, except for I'm watching you do it. And I'm easily distracted. So I'm watching you doing it. What are you doing? Alrighty. Have we had any little gems? What are the little gems? I think, are you going to press a button?
00:24:28
Speaker
We don't have any little channels. I think the core takeout is just celebrate more. Celebrate the little things. Celebrate the big things. Celebrate other people. Celebrate yourself. Love it. Beautiful. All right. Are we doing a semi-precious moment? Well, I had thought of one and now you should have, you were here writing like you were in the notes section. You could have just written the note right then and there.
00:24:53
Speaker
Maybe I'll think of it while you're
Humorous Recording Mishaps
00:24:55
Speaker
doing this. All right. Mine's a little crass. Was that okay? Crass warning. So this was from the launch party, the videographer, Petrus, who we were talking about before. He placed a microphone right at the top of my t-shirt. It kind of pinned it to the collar of my t-shirt. So collar, you know what I mean? Ready for the speeches. And I forgot it was there and I was talking to a friend of ours. I know you know her friend, which friend I'm talking about. She's incorrigible.
00:25:22
Speaker
And for some reason I referenced Justin Timberlake's Saturday Night Live Dick in a Box parody. Are you familiar with it? No. Okay. She wasn't familiar with it, but it's been stuck in my head for like a decade now. And so I proceeded to sing this parody song about Dick in a Box, which is really catchy. Won't sing it now. You're going to have to YouTube that for your own singing and listening pleasure. And then.
00:25:52
Speaker
realized that I had the microphone on. Still attached. And Kathy said, I'll be enjoying listening to that later. Kathy is Petros' wife. So that's my moment. Don't sing about inappropriate things when somebody is attached a microphone to your lapel.
00:26:12
Speaker
Yeah, I accidentally did that at a wedding once. This is a retrospective, semi-precious moment where we didn't realise, a group of us, we didn't realise that we were standing right next to a very small video camera that was on a trail.
00:26:32
Speaker
And we were like, we were all single, all three of us. And we were talking about some of the prospects on the dance floor. Oh God. That's horrendous. And then realized the little red light was flashing on the camera and all of that was caught. And so then I had to send an apology text message the next day to the bride and groom. That's literally my worst nightmare, like being caught on camera or
00:26:58
Speaker
Yeah, just audio of me. I get a guilty conscience and I'm like, what have I said? This time I know what it was. It was dick in a box. Yeah, I was singing it. And if somebody was filming, I had action. So I don't know if he was filming at any point, but there were there were actions going along with this as well.
Teaser for Next Topic: Friendships
00:27:19
Speaker
So not my proudest, most counsellor self-moment.
00:27:26
Speaker
Yeah, alrighty. Alright, next episode, which was supposed to be this episode, but now is the next episode. It's all about friendships. It's complex when you're an age. It always feels important to me because I love the people that are in my life and sometimes I love for longer than I should.
00:27:46
Speaker
And how we talked in episode one about your collection of pets, or maybe that was episode two, you collecting pets and people. Yeah, I do. Anyway, tune in for that next episode. So if you'd like to listen to more of our ramblings, follow and subscribe on your podcast platform of choice. Also follow us on Instagram.
00:28:07
Speaker
So thanks for listening and until next time, embrace your uncut and unpolished selves. Bye. Bye. Bye. This podcast represents the personal opinions of Amber and Jade. No content should be taken as advice or recommendations.