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EP. 9: Advice to our 25year old Selves
62 Plays1 year ago
In this episode the Semi-Precious sisters share words of wisdom (or thinly veiled regrets) for their 25 year old selves. Amber recalls what a rocking body she had at 25 and how she wish she'd appreciated it more. Whilst Jade struggles to remember where she was at 25! Both agree that they wish they'd been more money savvy (Jade more so) and that they'd drank less (probably Jade again).
Amber wishes she'd worn more sunscreen which inspires Jade to make her podcast singing debut. She thought about deleting it, but given she wished she were braver in her 20's, she leaves the off key signing for you all to enjoy.
Perhaps they could have just played the sunscreen song, and saved the effort of producing this episode, but where would be the fun in that.
This episode semi-precious moments reflect on poor parenting choices regarding slime and not learning lessons from previous household floods.
If you're under 30, grab a note book and learn from our mistakes. Otherwise, grab a cup of tea or glass of wine as you reflect on all of your poor life choices with us.
If you are wanting to understand more about Jade and her counselling practice or ADHD Coaching you can visit Awaken ADHD or on socials Instagram and Facebook
Connect with Amber:
If you’ are curious about Amber and her brand agency you can visit The Edison Agency or follow her on socials LinkedIn or Instagram
CREDITS
Producer: Amber Bonney and Jade Bonney
Hosts: Amber Bonney and Jade Bonney
Sound Editing: Jade Bonney
Social Content Creator: Amber Bonney
Creative Director: Amber Bonney
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Transcript
Acknowledgment of Traditional Owners
00:00:00
Speaker
This podcast is recorded on the lands of the Boon Wurrung country and we wish to acknowledge them as traditional owners. We recognise First Peoples of Australia as the original storytellers of this country and pay our respects to elders past, present and emerging.
Introduction to Episode 9
00:00:15
Speaker
You are listening to a semi-precious podcast hosted by Uncut and Unpolished sisters Amber and Jade.
00:00:26
Speaker
Hello sister and people listening if anybody is listening. Welcome to episode 9 of semi-precious where we talk about what we would tell our 25 year old selves. What do you think? I think it's going to be a good old fashioned trip down memory lane. We did have to make several notes about
00:00:47
Speaker
what we were actually doing at 25. Jade can't remember anything about her 20s. I don't know who I was. She's either going to make the shit up or she's going to take a lot of scribbling notes halfway through me talking. I'm just going to pretend to remember. No, I think if you talk, then it'll jog my memory. Maybe. But we were pretty separate during our 20s. We were. So the first thing we wanted to talk about was what were we actually doing at 25?
Reflecting on the 'Golden Era' of 25
00:01:15
Speaker
I think I came up with the idea of 25 because I felt like that was my golden era. 24, 25.
00:01:24
Speaker
That was a good time for you. It was a good time, yeah. Hopefully I'll still have golden years like the Golden Girls. The Golden Girls. Your golden years are yet to come. Yeah, the Golden Girls. God, that looks fun. I know. Didn't it? I wonder who I'd be on the Golden Girls. I feel like I would be the... What's her name? Not the old duck, but the...
00:01:49
Speaker
The taller one. Yeah, the taller bossy one. Yeah. I mean, yeah, cynical and witty. Yeah. Yeah. All righty. So what were you like then? 25. So I lived in Adelaide when I was 25. And so I was quite removed from the family. I'd broken up with my boyfriend of eight years. That's quite a long time. So I think I'd broken up with him maybe a year before, year and a half. So I moved there to Adelaide with him.
00:02:17
Speaker
I lived in the city. I remember just being quite footloose and fancy-free, like I was earning a pretty good income. I had a car that cost me $300, which is now worth about $200,000 if I had kept it storage. What? Yeah. What car was this? Vintage Datsun 240K. Yeah. People, collectors buy them.
00:02:39
Speaker
Really? I know. Okay. We'll get to investment. That wasn't a solid investment. Yeah, so I think at 25, I was nearly the kind of the fittest or I remember just having like really liking the way that I looked. That's a strong, strong memory. Alrighty. And I think I was still planning on going overseas because I think I left for overseas.
00:03:06
Speaker
potentially even 25, but turning 26. So between 24 and 25, I was single. I was very thin. I had no debts. I lived in this inner city. Yeah, just was living my best life.
00:03:22
Speaker
That sounds pretty good.
Navigating Relationships and Personal Growth
00:03:23
Speaker
It was good. I'm still struggling to grapple with who I was and where I was at that particular time. This is like drug induced haze. What are you doing? 25. But I've got to remember you 25. You would have only been 20.
00:03:39
Speaker
Two. Two. Oh, God. Yeah, let's not. All right. Let's not go to me at 22. No. That was really not pleasant. But you at 25, so three years later. Three years later. Which body shape were you? Because you really fluctuated. I fluctuated a lot. Okay. Hang on. Help me. Three years later, what were you doing? And then that'll put me as to where I was. Oh, three years later, it all went to shit because I was pregnant and came back from overseas.
00:04:05
Speaker
Right. Okay. Well, that gives me context. So I went back to Adelaide. Yeah, the story does not end well. It does because I do have my son, but it did not end well for lots of other reasons. Okay. So I remember now where I was 25. I was living in Abbotsford and I just started
00:04:24
Speaker
the relationship with the tall, dark, handsome. Oh, you should probably do this episode. Yeah, no, I do not want to do this episode. No, you go back to 22. Maybe that's better. No, but I think my 20s, it's hard to kind of put in just a particular age because my whole 20s seem to be a theme of really intense relationships, really big
00:04:51
Speaker
breakups, over investment in other people's stories and traumas, really just grappling to get my shit together, I think. And in that travel, fun, live music, but I think also a lot of missed opportunities.
00:05:13
Speaker
I think I was fun and playful and creative and exploring, but I was also a little too invested in other people, I think. I think it was also the years for you, if I remember correctly, where you just had a job.
00:05:36
Speaker
You were just doing jobs, but you didn't love it. Oh, no, I hated my work. I didn't. Yeah, you didn't sort of, you weren't getting any mean, you weren't climbing any ladders and you weren't having any meaningful connection to your work.
00:05:51
Speaker
No, not at all. I just was constantly wanting to get out of it and change, but never being brave enough. So outwardly, I looked very confident and brave and bubbly and social, but inwardly, definitely a lot of self-doubt and a lot of just no responsibility, really. I just lived
00:06:17
Speaker
for each day. Certainly no fiscal management is going on. No fiscal management, no. There still might not be a lot of that, but you know, slowly getting better.
Advice for Younger Selves (Is it worth it?)
00:06:30
Speaker
The intent of this episode, and this was inspired also by our niece who sent us
00:06:36
Speaker
an exceptionally long list of things that we should talk about. And mind you, she is only 28. So I'm like, well, that's only three years ago for you. She's a faster learner than I was. What other things that we want to talk about? What advice would we give to our younger selves with now some, for me, 23 years on?
00:07:01
Speaker
I mean, one of the ways I describe my 20s is the messy 20s. And I say that as a way of not judging myself harshly for the mistakes I made and the mistakes I made and the mistakes I made. Yeah. So whatever happens in your 20s stays in your 20s. You know, it does back then because there was no social media.
00:07:27
Speaker
Yeah, for sure. That was awesome. Imagine having that pop up on your story or you're just constantly in it. Oh, no. That would not be nice. No. Here's a memory of you at 25. No. So I think for me, I say messy 20 so that I can kind of forgive myself.
00:07:44
Speaker
The one thing that comes to mind for me, if I could tell my 25 year old self, and that's only because if any of you have listened to previous episodes, you would have heard me talk about like just the consistent battle with body image, like with loving my body, appreciating my body. My 25 year old body was exceptional.
00:08:05
Speaker
And so what I would tell myself back then is really appreciate that body. And you should do that anyway, but especially like, I remember even back to high school when I was doing 300 sit-ups every morning before I went to school in year 11 and 12. Were you? Yeah. Jesus. I was, yeah. But I didn't, I still didn't think that I was, looked great.
00:08:32
Speaker
You know what I mean? But now, like, three dress sizes heavier or four, why didn't I appreciate that? Like, why didn't I go, wow, this really... It's amazing. You know, I put the note down saying accept the love-hate relationship that you will have with your body till the end of days so that you don't have to really, you don't have to love your body, but you don't have to... Maybe respect it.
00:08:56
Speaker
Yeah, respected. I remember one of the hang ups I had in high school was that the ridge of my lips, what do you call it? What's it? No idea. I don't know. It's a good name. She's pointing to a partner. But it wasn't pronounced enough. Like the arch of my lips was not pronounced enough. Did some toss bag boy say something to you about that?
00:09:21
Speaker
I don't know. I think I just looked and went, you know, compare yourself to others and you go, oh, that's not right. And also that my stomach had like a little kind of pooch pooch and then kind of a second one. So it had this like cross the belly as kind of like banded in. I don't know. I used to say I had like two stomachs.
00:09:41
Speaker
just the way I'm made. But these small little things that you pick out and they dictate what you wear, how you think about yourself and really they're insignificant. You're not always going to love. There's always going to be something you're not loving and not to let it dictate what you do and what you wear and where you go and don't have to love it. But
00:10:07
Speaker
I remember having a really fabulous pair of red trousers. Oh, when you said a fabulous pair, I don't know why, I just went to like... I also had a fabulous rack, but a fabulous pair of red trousers that, you know, when you just have something that you know you look really good in. Yeah. Yeah. That was those pants? That was those pants. Yeah. Yeah, I think I remember. And a gold, shiny pair of pants at one of my nightclub versions.
00:10:30
Speaker
I used to wear a lot of like trousers with tops. I feel like that's quite a luxury to look good in trousers and tops now. Okay.
00:10:39
Speaker
is my gluten intolerance now going to cause some sort of bloating. Yeah. Can I wear them this week? Yeah. Yeah. All righty. Body, what else?
Financial Reflections and Missed Opportunities
00:10:48
Speaker
Money. I mean, look, I've never been terrible with money, but I probably could have been better at making some investment choices. I remember at that time
00:11:00
Speaker
I probably did have enough money to buy property like an apartment or something and I remember even when I was living in Adelaide, a friend of mine was looking at property in Melbourne around
00:11:12
Speaker
like Nicholson Street, so that'd be Collinwood Fitzroy. And this apartment was going for like $155,000 on Nicholson Street. It was like a two bedroom and we're like, oh wow, that's a lot of money. If I had have put an investment in then before money gets tied up by everything else, I would have at least had a foot in the door.
00:11:35
Speaker
See, I was a bit more impulsive and hedonistic, I guess. And I think because I didn't know about my ADHD, that definitely changes the lens. Had I known back then, many of these things would have been different and in particular, money.
00:11:54
Speaker
Well, you might have understood the deficit, so then being able to correct or get support. Yeah, exactly. And so the ADHD tax of gym memberships and late fines and impulse buying and also not having great self-worth, so not going for a career or a job with better money. So I just saved money and then spent it traveling, then saved money and spent it traveling. And whilst travel,
00:12:21
Speaker
It's super important and definitely that was the highlight of my 20s. I think I should have had a third savings. Because you could have done all that and just had a little funnel. Yeah, exactly. So not just dividing it between living and obviously I spent too much on nights out.
00:12:43
Speaker
The other little B version to that is taking notice of your superannuation. We know that women have insufficient superannuation. We're going to get on the super gap. Even when I came back from overseas, I've got not as much super as I should, even though I now invest into it, but comparatively because I was working overseas, so I wasn't earning super for those two years.
00:13:10
Speaker
And then when I came back, of course, child rearing or doing freelance work, you weren't earning super. I wish that I had have invested a bit more in super or at least invested in understanding more about my superannuation. And the fact that it's actually, it is your money and it is also
00:13:29
Speaker
and investment in the future. Whenever I've got a younger client, especially if they're self-employed, I'm like, I don't care what you're doing, put money in your separate bar. Put money in your separate bar. There's no excuse. They don't talk enough about it at school. No. That's true. Poor financial literacy at schools, especially just with basic life skills.
00:13:49
Speaker
Secondly, if you don't have parents that are going to help you or talk to you about that, which certainly we didn't, but lots of people I'd imagine. No, we didn't really have the money for literacy skills. Then, yeah, you don't really know. Yeah. And then it comes back to bite you later on. It does. Thanks for that doom and gloom. Still living that. You do have up on the board, fuck marriage. Fuck marriage. Okay.
00:14:17
Speaker
I think so for all those. I'm hoping it does change, but I don't feel the sentiment that it is. There is still the dream for people to grow up, to get married and live.
00:14:32
Speaker
happily ever after. I was obsessed with it. I recently read Clementine Ford's new book, I don't think it's called, about just the marriage myth.
Questioning Societal Pressures on Marriage
00:14:42
Speaker
No, I haven't read it. I haven't read it either. It's only out the last two weeks. She's been doing a lot of social media on it, but it really is an antiquated concept in general. Firstly, humans were never designed for partnerships that lasted 40, 50 years.
00:15:02
Speaker
Yeah. It's like people were dead by 40, so sure. You could get married by the time you finished your kids and that was it. Your husband was dead and you were out with your girls. Living it up. Living the dream. Now these men live so long, you've got to tolerate them till they're 80s. Yeah. I mean, I never, yeah. Yeah. You know, changing your name, like I still have a problem with
00:15:28
Speaker
people changing their names. It just needs to be a better system that's not where you can still be able to track descendants of people without everyone feeling like they need to change their last name to one name. She's getting on a feminist bandwagon here. But what about the... But the dream of marriage. I think so many people either waste their 20s or are filled with anxiety in their 20s and their 30s because
00:15:54
Speaker
they feel like they need to meet someone and get married and procreate and if they can't, is this. They're either making poor relationship decisions because they ultimately want that to happen. She's looking at me really intensely when she's saying poor relationship decisions. Or hey, I make poor relationship decisions too. You just make more of them.
00:16:15
Speaker
I did, and I think, you know, I invest a little too intently, as we've talked, into relationships. I've got all kinds of relationships. And I think there was part of that kind of desperation, oh, this has got to be the one. This has got to work. And I think I would hold relationships.
00:16:36
Speaker
Lighter now. Not that you don't commit. I'm a relationship therapist, you've got to commit. But not so much intensity. Yeah, but not so much intensity to make something work that is not working. I think that's where I would lighten up in my 20s, whether that's a friendship or a family relationship, or if it's not working, lighten up a bit about it.
00:17:00
Speaker
I mean, the other part that kind of is connected to that is the part around fixing broken people.
Fixing People vs. Healthy Relationships
00:17:09
Speaker
I loved a good fixer-upper. I mean, you were a fixer-upper in friendships and romantic interests.
00:17:16
Speaker
Well, I thought you were saying that I was needing the fixing up her ring, which is true. But no, I was not going to be as rude as to say that. Are you trying to change your reputation on this podcast? Not attempting things around. Yeah, no, I did love a good project. I liked the chase. It is a common gendered trait either.
00:17:44
Speaker
tame the archetypal bad boy or just feel like they can, yeah, fix or help or nurture or mother broken people. Yeah. I'm not sure what it's like for women in a same sex relationship. I think it depends on your disposition really. I feel like I only did that once, but it was a catastrophic outcome. You know what I mean? Like it wasn't just a small, I'm going to try and help fix his person. Like it led to years and years of pain and trauma.
00:18:12
Speaker
Yeah, let's not go too deep into that for you. But yes, I agree. But I did that with friends, with family members, with relationships, and really just wasted a lot of good years trying to fix. The hot tip is it's not your problem. Someone being broken or someone having
00:18:34
Speaker
trauma or someone needing support or someone having mental health issues or someone having a neurodivergence that makes them more difficult to communicate is not your problem. I mean, not saying we don't have to support people, obviously, that we love, but invest in the people that you have less choice in. But also, yeah, you can make choices to support those people, but you don't have to accept poor behavior because of those.
00:19:01
Speaker
No, and I was saying to somebody the other day that what I have learned is you can lean in and lean out at your own discretion. I can help one day and then not help the next. I don't have to keep a continual amount of energy and support for people that I can
00:19:21
Speaker
Does that make sense? Especially, yeah. Even in parenting, I don't have to be at the same level of parenting. Some days I've got more energy, some weeks I've got more energy, and other weeks I'm like, you're fed, you're bathed. That's all it got. That's the best minimum standards and we're out. That's it.
00:19:39
Speaker
And to go with that flow, I think I'm learning that more and more that I'll just give what energy I've got to give.
Managing Personal Energy and Expectations
00:19:46
Speaker
And when I don't have it, I'll let you know. I'm not going to be an ass about it. I'll let you know. I'm tired. I can't hear your story. I can't engage in this right now.
00:19:57
Speaker
I'll get back to you and being consistent. Do you agree with that? Yeah, I think that's just a natural ebb and flow. But I do believe that if you don't do that, the insight is you potentially get caught in setting expectations for yourself that then you need to perpetually meet.
00:20:14
Speaker
Exactly. Even parenting. And then you end up feeling trapped because you've done that. You've started that way and you're like, well, now I can't cause correct because I've set an expectation. Oh, precedence. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. What else? All right. So we've talked about don't buy into the shitty fairy tale dream of marriage. Get into your superannuation. Understand that. Understand compound interest. No, I don't.
00:20:44
Speaker
Thank you. No, I don't. Shoo-weeing. Jay looks exceptionally fearful. Yeah. The Bf40 investor, if I read that many, many years ago. You did. You gave it to me. I did not read it. No. Money still gives me a panic feeling. Money. Yeah. Don't fix broken people. But you can fix me. If you can afford it. And you can buy me a property if you can afford it too. Understanding banking. Yeah. Kind of, maybe.
00:21:10
Speaker
You know, these could be tips for me. This could be a typical thing that Jade is not doing right now.
00:21:15
Speaker
There is a note down here, because we do have some semblance of structure. Stop apologizing. Yeah, I apologized a lot through my 20s, I think, for even existing. I remember just saying sorry a lot for everything all the time. And I still notice myself apologizing, you know, somebody will come over. I'm like, oh, sorry, I haven't, my allergies have been bad. I haven't been able to do the gardening. Sorry, my grass is so long. Yeah.
00:21:45
Speaker
apologizing to you, some person. I don't actually even know that my grass is too long. And so I'm like, okay, I don't need to apologize. I don't care if you think I should have mown my grass. I haven't got round to it and I don't need to make excuses. So I'm still doing these. Many of these lessons are still lessons
00:22:06
Speaker
I do have sunscreen on today, just letting you know that's one of her notes. But many of these lessons, we're still learning. And I think that is also a lesson in itself, that it's not just a continual uphill trajectory. You know, always just, you know what I mean? Like you don't learn this lesson once and then that's it. You're, oh, I'm never going to apologize again. I'm always just going to be confident. Yeah. I mean, not apologizing. Yeah. I suppose it's you do need to apologize if you've been an asshole. Oh, yeah. No, this is
00:22:35
Speaker
This is different. But it's just a muscle that you have to practice, right? So you would hope that you would get better at it. And about breaking the myth of perfection, because apologizing for things like a messy house, which I can't imagine going to any friend's house.
00:22:53
Speaker
if I popped in and it was not immaculate, then not saying, oh, sorry, the house is a bit of a shambles. And I would probably still say that. So it is an ongoing life development. Yeah, that's true. So when we say not apologizing, yes, apologizing. Take accountability when you have done something wrong. This is apologizing for having a different opinion, for your grasp being too long.
00:23:17
Speaker
before existing, or especially I made a note here about like at work, not understanding something, apologizing for not understanding. I need to apologize for not understanding. You can see clarity, but you don't need to say, I'm sorry that I don't know that. I'm sorry that I don't get that. Yeah. And then I wonder again, if that is, you know, more part of that for me was that I did understand things differently or taking information differently. And so I was,
00:23:44
Speaker
often apologizing for also the dyslexia, I was apologizing for my spelling and for my handwriting and for not understanding things in that way or for running late or for forgetting something. So I feel like the apologizing to me for me was hardwired in because things were more difficult. I was so
00:24:06
Speaker
Clumsy and forgetful and stuff. Everybody has flaws and faults and so on and so forth, so you don't need to apologize just for existing.
Skincare and Health Tips
00:24:16
Speaker
Exactly. Skin care. Yeah, I feel like I rebelled against the skincare at some point because Mum went so hard on the skincare. I really think in your 20s, my only advice, if you were going to do nothing in your 20s,
00:24:33
Speaker
The only two things you would do is drink enough water and wear sunscreen. Like if you just did those two things, that's actually... What about maybe take your makeup off?
00:24:43
Speaker
Well, that's mostly for your pillowcases, but yeah, it's not great to leave your makeup on. It doesn't just like clog the pores overnight and then you're not rehydrated. Yeah, I'm supposed to be cleansing it off the next day, but I've never been amazing at taking... I mean, I have to now, of course, because I have expensive pillowcases. Drink some coconut water or take a hydrolite before you go to bed. Coconut water? Why didn't we know that? Why didn't we know that? Okay, coconut water for your 20s if you're having a big night. If you're under 30, let's just...
00:25:10
Speaker
We're just moving coconut water up to the number one ranking position of everything we've just talked about. Yeah. Drinks in coconut water, if you've had a few drinks and you wake up the next day and you are hydrated. Yes. Yeah. And some brockers, if you really... Or even those hydrolite icy poles, just like you don't even need to put them in the freezer. Just put some in the drawer, unfrozen and just like, skull one of those. In the middle of the night. In the middle of the night.
00:25:36
Speaker
hope that they don't end up all over your bed. Unless you have kids, you probably don't even have hydrolide icy poles. Get onto it. Coconut water, that was a genius move that Jade introduced me to. Yeah, but it was a bit late in the game. It was late in the game. There were far too many seedy cheeseburgers and cokes
00:25:56
Speaker
that we're not helping the situation in my twins. No, quite right and pan at all. Like just doing that before bed. Yes. Or you could not binge drink. That would be the other thing that you could do. Yeah. Another thing is you've got don't drink at work events and we'll get to that. But I'm still wondering how I'm alive from just not stopping.
00:26:20
Speaker
when everybody else was going home and then just getting myself home in Fitzroy and Collingwood on my own. Yeah. I wonder if by the time our girls are at drinking aid, like we do have in this country an exceptionally terrible connection to alcohol in general. If you even think about the recent Melbourne Cup, I find the whole, not just because of the horse racing, but just everything about the gambling and the complete indulgence of
00:26:48
Speaker
Yeah, it's just like you see all these photos. I've been there. I try not to judge those young women because I have been there. Like just absolutely trolleyed. And yeah, I'm like that actually does not look fun. It's not fun. And it really wasn't fun then. And I think, you know, this comes back to apologizing for being
00:27:08
Speaker
for being myself, I think some of the masking that we do, and that definitely contributed to drinking too much, to fit in, to be okay, which, you know, to that social sort of aspect. Yeah, managing anxiety. Whereas if I actually just was spending more time with people that I trusted and that I was okay being myself with, then I probably wouldn't need to do that.
00:27:35
Speaker
I mean, we didn't have it on the list, but you've raised a really good point. Drinking less in my twenties, I could have done with drinking less. I could have done with drinking less for sure. Yeah. I felt like there was some scenarios that we potentially would have put ourselves in, like you're saying, walking home. How am I still alive? Yeah. That were just really unnecessary. And then waking up and feeling like you've really aged your body. Yeah. Unnecessarily. Definitely in moderation.
00:28:03
Speaker
When I was 25 and living in Adelaide, I went to a Chamber of Commerce, an international Chamber of Commerce lunch.
Workplace Drinking Tales and Moderation
00:28:12
Speaker
It was a pretty formal event. I was there with my boss. We had clients there, a table of 10, but there would have been 300 people in this room, like a big, big event. Why did I drink summer twine at a work event? And then on the way home, I decided, because it was a beautiful sunny day, that I would pop up
00:28:32
Speaker
from the back seat into the middle and stick my body out of the sunroof of my boss's BMW. When you say your body, the clothing attached to it. Yes, I was correct. But it was buckled in the back, as an employee should be, when in the car. You just unbuckled and popped out through them. Yeah, climbing through.
00:28:55
Speaker
thing and then he had to break and then I cracked my ribs. Ooh. Yeah, that's not pretty. So don't do that. Don't do that. I don't really drink at work events. That would be my recommendation. It doesn't help.
00:29:06
Speaker
I remember drinking at a boyfriend's work event. I was young, that's probably 20 or something, and I had a strapless kind of tube dress on. This was in my really thin days, and I've always been big busted, so I had a strapless bra on, and was walking through Crown Casino. The dress was below my bra, and I'm not sure how long
00:29:33
Speaker
I mean, that looks probably in folk right now. Right. Yeah, that could have been like that for hours. Yeah, I don't know. Like, I don't even know where my boyfriend was at the time, but yeah, it was at a big work event. At what point did you go, I probably need to go to the bathroom to adjust this or did you just yank it back up? Well, I just yanked it back up because I was just walking around and I don't even know how I noticed, but clearly. Did you go and then play the slots after that?
00:30:00
Speaker
Why did that sound so Sadie? I think I was so mortified at that point. I can't remember. All I know is those sort of moments shouldn't be at work events. Drink less. Drink less. Anything else? I do believe traveling is an important part of
00:30:18
Speaker
learning, and both of us traveled. Even though it's not on our, what we tell our 25 year old self, if I was giving advice to other young people, I would definitely say travel. Definitely say travel. That was probably the only good thing really out of my 20s was travel.
Travel and Life Choices in the 20s
00:30:34
Speaker
And mid-20s is a good time to travel. If you want to live overseas,
00:30:38
Speaker
I felt like the time I went was young enough to still enjoy the lifestyle of London at the time in the early 2000s, which there was a lot of party drugs and nightclubs and lasers. But also I still was serious enough about my career that I was actually working versus working in a bar. So it can be a good time to do that.
00:30:59
Speaker
I think my regret would be that I wanted desperately to live overseas, but I kept letting other people, whether it was a partner or a family member or something, what was happening for them. So I didn't make choices based on what I really needed or wanted because
00:31:19
Speaker
I was a people pleaser and invested in other people more than myself. So I never made that decision for myself to live overseas. So if you've got the opportunity and it's something you want to do, don't let other things get in the way. Yeah. I mean, I know in hindsight, it's hard to say, but I went overseas with a partner at the time.
00:31:40
Speaker
And I was going anyway, so I was like, you could come with me if you wanted, but I was going anyway. And in hindsight, I do wish I had gone on my own because I think it would have been a different experience. You know, I had to make lots of compromises that in hindsight, if I went back in time, I would have just said, I'm going, this is important to me. And then potentially it would make less compromises. I think I'd do that too. Alrighty, what were you saying? What would I do differently?
00:32:09
Speaker
So we talked about drinking less. Mine has to do maybe with study.
Education Choices: Passion vs. Practicality
00:32:15
Speaker
I didn't go to uni until 30 something. And that is fine. I think do education, how you want to do education. I have this idea now that if you're going to do a degree, do it in something you really love versus the practical. Yes. And then do your master's in the practical. Yeah, that's really good. Right? I like that.
00:32:35
Speaker
Because you can do... Your master's in anything. Yeah, once you've got your undergrad in, it might be whatever it is you're really passionate about and you're probably going to be more dedicated to it and it really is giving you that opportunity to... Yeah, you can do political science because that's your vibe and then do a master's in marketing. Yeah, marketing or in business or in whatever it is.
00:32:57
Speaker
that you don't have to do your four-year undergrad in something practical that's a long slog because she can go and do your master's in it later. Not to say that I think I wasn't ready to study until then. But had you been diagnosed earlier, that might have been completely different for you. I think it would have been very different because my narrative
00:33:21
Speaker
was not smart enough to study because I'd never been able to sit there and study. And obviously I struggled with the dyslexia and dyscalculia and I didn't know that I could actually sit and focus and study understanding yourself and compassion for self. But if you're not there for formal education, that is okay. Just know why it is, you know, making a choice for yourself rather than in fear.
00:33:48
Speaker
Hmm, I would say. Go to therapy. Well, that sort of leads into the next point around what would you do differently is have more self-respect. And I don't mean that, you know, like...
00:34:02
Speaker
flip it away, but literally drinking too much and making unsafe choices is not based on self-respect. Compromising long-term plans or trying to fix someone who is broken, whether that's romantic someone or just even a friendship where you're compromising your own
00:34:20
Speaker
Safety or health or mental health, that's not self-respect. No, definitely could have done with some more therapy in my 20s. Hard to get access to therapy now, that's the biggest problem. Well, it is if you want a psychologist. There are plenty of counsellors out there with, you know, it depends what you're needing help with. I could have just done with a counsellor. Yeah, that is true. Somebody just to talk through some of these things with. Any other things you would do differently? No, I don't think so.
00:34:49
Speaker
I mean, travel, money, investing, maybe a bit earlier, understanding our super, loving our bodies, wearing sunscreen more. I'm now paying the price for sun damage from decades ago. It takes a long time for it to emerge. And even though I've been very good with, well, skincare for at least 10 years, I'm paying the price now for 20s in my 20s. Do you remember the sunscreen song? No, that's clear. It was the problem.
00:35:17
Speaker
No, it was... Oh, the slip, slip, slip. No, you're not slip, slip, slip. I'm... Norm. No. The life being at norm. You know the... I'll find it. It was kind of advice you'd give yourself when you were younger. I remember him saying, you know, protect your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone. Do you remember? Brothers and sisters together, we'll make it through.
00:35:42
Speaker
I know you're hurting, but I've been waiting to be that boy. And then in the middle, it was like the kind of talking about where sunscreen was one of the things. When we post this, let's find a song. Let's find a song. And we might have to edit me trying to sing on a Sunday morning. Alrighty, what about a semi-precious moment? Well, I'll need you to do yours, because I'll have to search for mine.
00:36:08
Speaker
I don't know that it's my moment, but let's just do a shout out to my kids this morning in the car on the way in, in some city traffic, my nine-year-old squeals. Oh no, the slime. I thought the lid was on it.
00:36:26
Speaker
and apparently the entire container of blue slime was underneath her backside in my car. She was freaking out and screaming because her new jeans had
00:36:42
Speaker
had the slime all over them. Not really concerned with the fact that it was all over my car seat, and my 12-year-old was admonishing her and trying to help her, but also not helping go, oh, no. Oh, God. This is getting worse. I mean, this car's meant to be mine in a few years' time, and this is not looking good.
00:37:03
Speaker
you're so irresponsible, and then they're squealing at each other. And I was just trying to breathe, really, all the way here. And still, I haven't looked in the back seat of my car. I'm just in denial for the best. Hoping for the best of our that scenario. We didn't jump into my car, so I've probably got blue slime on the back of my seat. No, I shouldn't.
00:37:23
Speaker
That's all right. She managed to get it all off her jeans. Yes, that's on the car. And I think she kind of just picked each little bit of slime off and then flicked it somewhere else in the car. So now perhaps my entire backseat. I don't know how many times I have said
00:37:39
Speaker
there's no more slime in my life at all. Anyone with children will know there's just got to be an anti-slime movement. But then I bought her this slime. Because it's exceptionally unsustainable. It's terrible. Why did you buy slime? I don't know. Why do you keep making these same decisions? It needs a whole episode just on that. Poor decisions. I think one of our first ever moments was I was running late because I was buying my daughter fidgets.
00:38:04
Speaker
She's constantly wanting things like slime and putty and things like that. Fidgets is one thing. My daughter has lots of fidgets. The slime, we've just banned slime. There's just no making slime. Nothing. Anyway, maybe that's my semi-precious moment in the fact that I keep buying the slime even though I have a slime ban. You are responsible. And then letting her in the car with the slime. Also, my problem. This is probably all your fault.
00:38:31
Speaker
And in the spirit of what we're telling out to our only five-year-old selves, I'm not going to try and fix you because this is your problem. Don't try and fix me. But I think it is also, I've had a couple of weeks of just being in the bare minimum parenting. And so battling the, can I have this slime? I just couldn't be bothered battling. So I'm like, whatever. Yeah, play with it in the car. Cover my entire car with it. I don't care. Got no energy for that. You should have just borrowed your husband's car.
00:38:58
Speaker
He's got it at the airport. Yeah, I'm solo parenting for two weeks, so I just don't give a shit, really. Yeah, it's just going to be survival. I did find my notes on semi-precious moments. There was nothing really that interesting in there, except there was a note flooded bathroom floor again.
00:39:17
Speaker
I don't know. No, I didn't. I mean, that does happen, but no. I somehow flooded them. I do just have a habit of flooding. She floods. Have we talked about you having to wear a shower cap around the house if you've got the bath running so that you don't flood? No, we haven't. This is something that my husband instilled because he was sick of calling out people to
00:39:39
Speaker
rip up carpet and try and dry things after I turned the bathroom and let it flood the house. He's a tolerant man. I've obviously flooded it again, I don't know how, but made that note. But I nearly flooded, so we've got a little pond out the back of our yard and I literally, I put the water.
00:39:56
Speaker
tapping the hose in yesterday and then was doing something else. And then, you know, you can just hear the water running, going like it feels very full. Yeah. And I went out and the water was like right at the top of the pond with a fish waiting for the fish to be like overflowing. So it nearly happened again. I should have put the shower cap on even just for the filling up the pond. Yeah, basically anything with water, you need a shower cap on. All right.
00:40:23
Speaker
All right. So we had a goal of getting to 10 episodes for this year. Did we start this podcast this year? Yes. Yes, we did. We did. And what we need to do is you need to give me a deadline to edit because I will take the files and then never do anything. Okay. So you've got to the end of, you've got seven days. This needs to be up by the 29th of November.
00:40:51
Speaker
All right. I'll put it in the diary. And everyone will know now because we've said dates. So. OK. So accountability. I can just edit this bit out. That is true. So episode 10 is going to be our highs and lows of the year, 2023 highs and lows. So you'll have to start thinking about maybe your top five going away. Cool. Top five red, top five green. All righty. There we go. Do it.
00:41:18
Speaker
Thanks everyone. If you'd like to listen to more of our ramblings, follow and subscribe on your podcast platform of choice. We do actually need to look at the data on how many people are actually listening. Someone asked me the other day and I'm like, I don't know. Everybody always asks me. I'm like, I don't know. If you listen, you might make sex. I don't know. So until next time, embrace your uncut and unpolished selves. See ya. Bye.
00:41:45
Speaker
This podcast represents the personal opinions of Amber and Jade. No content should be taken as advice or recommendations.