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SP Ep 12: Charity Hike, Phallic Chips and Public Pools
53 Plays7 months ago
WARNING: this podcast was recorded without all mentally faculties on board. We are in a slightly delirious mood so if you need a good laugh whilst you’re completing a boring task, then wrap your ears around this utter rambling silliness.
As the title suggests, we share our charity hike adventures, the eating of phallic shaped chips and general rantings about public pools/bathing.
Beyond Blue’s 30km Great Aussie Hike is the hero of this episode. The sister’s, and their amazing team mates, share their training journey and hiking highlights, including the rave like vibe, fabulous volunteers with cow bells, and the curious case of abandoned milk. Well there’s an episode teaser if ever I’ve heard one.
Amber really, really dislikes public pools, the weird vortex of older chaps in budgie smugglers, parents in work attire and the general sensory chaos leaves her questioning her life choices. We discuss the mental effort involved in putting your head under the water that some teenage has just sneezed in and Amber really wants to know if you have ever noticed the gross grout. Thanks to Amber, you certainly will next time you brave a public pool.
The sisters work out a roster for public bathing groups which includes copulating couples, exuberant teens, parents with kids of any age that practice a free parenting style, chatting/loud laughing people and of course like minded, quiet (non sneezing or screaming) bathers like us.
A simple non-judgmental system!
They also talk about Love Gel, which they affectionally call ‘love juice’. No, it’s not a lubricant it’s a coffee energy gel. When Jade consumed her Love Gel not only did she make exaggerated facial expressions looking like she needed medical assistance but the resulting joyful energy for the last 8km of the hike was somewhat irritating to her less spritely sister (age is catching up on her).
Amber’s Semiprecious moment was harassing people last minute for donations and Jade shares one of her husband’s, you’ll have to make it to the end to find out.
To follow and subscribe to your mildly unhinged SEMI-PRECIOUS hosts, you can connect via Instagram and
Linktree
https://linktr.ee/semi_precious_podcast
Connect with Jade:
If you are wanting to understand more about Jade and her counselling practice or ADHD Coaching you can visit Awaken ADHD or on socials Instagram and Facebook
Connect with Amber:
If you’ are curious about Amber and her brand agency you can visit The Edison Agency or follow her on socials LinkedIn or Instagram
CREDITS
Producer: Amber Bonney and Jade Bonney
Hosts: Amber Bonney and Jade Bonney
Sound Editing: Jade Bonney
Social Content Creator: Amber Bonney
Creative Director: Amber Bonney
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Transcript
Acknowledgment and Introduction
00:00:00
Speaker
This podcast was recorded on the lands of the Jaja Wurrung people of the Kulin Nation, the traditional custodians of the area of the Hepburn Springs in Victoria. We recognise First Nations people as the original storytellers and artists of this country, and we expectfully acknowledge elders past, present and emerging. You are listening to a semi-precious podcast hosted by Uncut and Unpolished sisters, Amber and Jade.
00:00:30
Speaker
All right, we have our two twos on. Good morning, semi-precious, great Aussie hikeers.
Pre-Hike Emotions and Preparations
00:00:38
Speaker
Well said. Yeah. Good morning. How are you feeling? A fusion of really excited and minor self-doubt that can I actually make it without twisting your ankle or doing anything else? I have far greater self-doubt than that. Oh. Are you going to get to the start? We've fell down the stairs before, so yeah, I'm surprised.
00:01:00
Speaker
But I'm still in one piece. Yeah. That I woke up in the middle of the night thinking how good I felt because I thought I'd already done the hike and then realized that it was a night before the hike. And actually I felt pretty crap considering I hadn't hiked at all.
00:01:18
Speaker
So that's my unfortunate dream. It's like being nervous about a public speaking event waking up going, oh, so glad it's done. And it's the morning event. We've got one mic between four of us. So we have Jade, me, Amber, Kim. Jade, me, Amber. So Amber and Kim are in the orange tutus and Claire and I are in the green tutus.
00:01:40
Speaker
How are you feeling, Claire? Pretty good, pretty good, excited, nervous that I haven't got all the right gear and that my pack's too heavy and too small, you know, all the last minute worries. Except for you're the most organised out of all of us and... You're not filling me with great chat. No, you're the hiking mum.
00:01:59
Speaker
Kim is actually the hiking mum. Okay, why is Kim the hiking? Oh well, just Kim. She's actually done hiking with her kids as mum. Okay, so you're the hiking mum, then what are you, just the team?
00:02:10
Speaker
Organiser, team organiser. I want to make sure that I've done my part of the bargain and I'm not the one that lets the team do it. Something tells me you are not going to be the person who's going to let the team do it. Well see, you can control some stuff and there's other stuff you can't control. Like you can't control if you slip it and twist your ankle. But the stuff you can control is your prep that you do and the things that you bring. So we're getting a team photo.
00:02:33
Speaker
which is really interesting for all you listeners to... Is it taking... It makes riveting content. Yeah, it does. All right. Because I was trying to smooth my wrinkly t-shirt and I may have just been feeling myself up in the photo. Peter's strapped, snacks are packed. All right. Wish us luck.
00:02:54
Speaker
Hello and welcome formally, a little more formally than the sound bite you just had a little taste of, which was really informal. This is formal and we are welcoming you. It's very long. It is long, but I was trying to be formal and apologize for the informal intro that we did.
00:03:17
Speaker
Welcome to Sammy Precious episode 12. This one is titled after much debate, charity hike, phallic chips and public pools. It's going to be a cracker. It's going to be a cracker. So, yeah, welcome. The intro and the
00:03:40
Speaker
Acknowledgement of Country was a little bit different because we are in the lovely Dalesford, Hepburn Springs region right now.
Great Aussie Hike Experience
00:03:50
Speaker
So, as you probably guessed from the little sound bite before this intro, we are doing the Great Aussie Hike. Actually, we already did it. We did it. We've done it. We're alive. Spoiler alert.
00:04:03
Speaker
We did it and we survived. And now we're going to have a little bit of reflections about the hike and obviously about Felik Chips because that just feels like a natural segue and it's in the title and public pools because also hiking and swimming feel like they go together. This is like a good Venn diagram.
00:04:26
Speaker
Actually, we promised you that we would do, at all three people that listen, we promised all three of you that we would do an episode on public pools in which I had no material for and then after today I have some material for. Some material for. I can add my material and we will have some substance. Correct. We're working on one microphone that's sitting in the middle of a table with
00:04:52
Speaker
and half a bottle of red wine and we have a came up paint by numbers canvas. Don't knock the paint by numbers unless it's Amber doing it and it's quite appalling. Her paint is dried up and it's symbolic I feel. Oh. I did not want off. Your dried up, your artistic skill. I don't know. Probably none of those. So, Amber.
00:05:21
Speaker
How are you feeling, sister? Ah, good. Let's have you go back a step. Okay. As to why we did the hike, and I can't remember what episode it was, but you said you need to do some sort of challenge. Correct. That was the last episode before Christmas. Okay, so episode 10, maybe.
00:05:40
Speaker
No. Sure. No, it was probably 10. We really know what come to. So we then decided, let's find a charity that we care about and a hike that seems achievable. We landed on the Great Aussie Hike, which supports Beyond Blue, and they have a series of choices of which we went for the lowest. So there was a 100 kilometer, a 80 kilometer, a 50 kilometer and a 30 kilometer.
00:06:09
Speaker
So we landed on this, which was yesterday. We didn't land on it yesterday. We did it yesterday, but we were supporting Beyond Blue and that's what we landed on. I don't know if any of you have ever had to utilize Beyond Blue services.
00:06:26
Speaker
But they are a fantastic initiative that has been going for a number of years now. I won't go into the full history of it, but what I will say is that 3.3 million people in Australia live with anxiety and 1.5 million people in Australia live with depression.
00:06:47
Speaker
And that's probably too many. And part of their mission and their goals is to really understand, support, connect, leading positive change in the system for social change and mental health reform and just frontline support.
00:07:04
Speaker
Yeah, on a phone service helpline. So, we were very proud of ourselves. It was four in our group. Obviously, Jade and I and long-term friends, Claire and Kim. And she heard in the sound bite. She did, yes. And between the four of us, we raised $3,700, which is pretty impressive. Whoop, whoop. Yeah.
00:07:26
Speaker
So, that was yesterday. You asked me how I was. Correct. I said good. That was really smoothing over how my body is feeling, which is exceptionally sore, but I am proud of myself. Exceptionally sore? Like, where are we at? I don't know, like a 1 to 10. Well, I couldn't get off the ground and asked you to get my glasses.
00:07:46
Speaker
She asked me to get her glasses because before that she couldn't read the acknowledgement of country that we'd just written. And then I gave her my glasses and then I couldn't read my computer screen to actually turn on the computer to record. So we had a little bit of a comedy session going on there. But you're okay. Like, you're okay. I'm just sore. Yeah, my muscles are sore. Just a little bit sore. Yeah. Where are we going to begin? The hike prep. I probably did insufficient preparation.
00:08:17
Speaker
For this episode or the prep? Both. Definitely the hike. I started off well, but it was time demanding. But I did enjoy the practice hikes that we did, except the one at the gorge that was... I won't even go into detail. I didn't do the gorge. Emotionally draining and terrifying hike that took 7.6 hours to go 20 kilometres.
00:08:45
Speaker
Yeah, that did not sound like it was fun. It wasn't fun. That wasn't fun. But other than that, I enjoyed the planning process and the great Aussie hike. If anyone ever wants to do a walk hike with not too much intensity, so well organized. Could not believe what a spectacle it was. It was an absolute spectacle. It was like the Logies of
00:09:06
Speaker
Hikes. Hikes. Wasn't it? When we arrived yesterday morning, we arrived on 9.30 yesterday morning, it was like a full on festival. Yeah. There were tents set up. There were DJs. Everyone was dressed up. There was coffee vans. There was people doing massages. There were egg and bacon rolls. Egg and bacon rolls, tables everywhere. Yeah. Yeah. It was a complete festival.
00:09:29
Speaker
I'll go more into that a little bit later, but back to the preparation for the hike. Claire and I got into a really silent
00:09:38
Speaker
online battle where we had our walking track tracking Strava. Strava. Strava. Okay. We're not like plugged by anybody, but if you'd like to support us, Strava, go ahead. Connected to the great Aussie hike so that we could track our kilometers for our training. And Claire actually did start earlier than me. And so then I had to catch up.
00:10:04
Speaker
So in between clients, I'd go for like a casual 10K. I had to work to that because I thought 5K was like the end of the earth. It wasn't, apparently the earth is round and it keeps, you just keep going. You don't fall off the edge at 5K. So then I would do...
00:10:22
Speaker
lots and lots of catching up. And then I saw every time that I did a long walk, Claire track a long walk. And then she started tracking like really small walks with her tiny dog. And back again. So then I started tracking my small walks. And then right as I arrived here, I'm like, I'm just a head of Claire, like I'm like a K ahead of Claire.
00:10:48
Speaker
And whilst we were driving here, she went and did bloody 10K all that the day before when I was working. Very sneaky. So she won in the end, but it was an absolute fabulous back and forth between us because I'm really neat. That's what I wanted. I needed the motivation. I needed something to inspire me. And this week, as I said in my Inner Flurry podcast, the last episode, it's been an intense start to the year.
00:11:18
Speaker
And walking has actually been so good for my mental health. Not only am I getting physically fit,
00:11:25
Speaker
and strong and cardiovascular as well, like I'm able to jog a bit now, which is a lot, but I'm actually getting space and clarity other than just sitting there and doing emails and writing notes. I'm getting out and going for a long walk, longer than my dog can even tolerate, and I think it's actually been fabulous for my mental health just doing this training.
00:11:50
Speaker
going to keep it up. Well, I need another challenge, is what I'm saying. So, Claire and I, whether we just have our own challenge, our own competition. So, yes, I want to keep it up. What else do you have to say, Amz, about the prep for you? Oh, I would have liked to have done more. The gorge did set me back.
00:12:08
Speaker
in a sense that I was in so much pain and we weren't prepared for it to be so long and so hard. So by the time I recovered from that, I didn't really want to cause any further damage. Amber's not a mountain goat. She has skinny, weak ankles, long shiny nails that are up with her hands. And it's not really designed for scaling mountains. No, no.
00:12:36
Speaker
Don't mind walking. I don't mind the odd boulder to get over, but I don't like high difficulty. Scrambling. Scrambling. Yeah. I really never thought that I'd love toe socks. Oh, yeah. Toe socks. Bring right into it. I have been enjoying the shopping part. Oh, really? But that surprises me. This is surprising. You like the shopping. I've been buying hiking gear.
00:12:59
Speaker
I'm now committed. I now have to use it because I bought new boots, backpack, a bladder for the backpack, two pairs of toe socks, one in a retro 80s pattern, which I really like. That is quite cool. Kind of reminds me of like Seinfeld. Well, the graphics around. Yes, it is. Thank you for helping me there. I'll post a photo. So I enjoyed that, Ben. That was good. I didn't enjoy looking for hiking shoes. That was not fun with my big
00:13:32
Speaker
It's a bug. She's swatting a bug off. I swatted it towards you. Quite a lot of enthusiasm. It's fine. Kind of like the enthusiasm that I met at the grocery store before we went to get cheese for our wine and cheese platter. Sometimes she's so embarrassing to get out of public. We go in to a fancy grocer. A providore. A providore.
00:13:57
Speaker
The queen of semi-precious goes through the bell with a gentle ding dong. And then the music happened to start playing or changing tracks. And Jade screamed at the top of her lungs. Oh, Jesus Christ!
00:14:12
Speaker
As the music came on, I scared the woman who owned the store. It was very unpleasant. It was a loud song. It was right in my ear. I thought somebody was jumping out to grab me. It was very unpleasant. Just saying, if you have a providore, I want some of the... Subtle French chill music. The French chill music that you made me put on earlier.
00:14:35
Speaker
So let's talk about the day. So the night before was a no alcohol consumption day, but we did manage to sneak in half a glass of red wine. Before Claire got here. Before Claire got here. She wouldn't approve maybe of
00:14:50
Speaker
breaking the rules. And then I accidentally left my glass out and I hadn't finished my half a glass and so Claire busted it all. I washed and dried my glass. I left it on the sink with half an inch. And I finished her wine, by the way. Did you? Well, after I busted, I'm like, whatever. I'm going to drink Amber's wine. So it was a low key night of packing our bags and repacking our bags and making sure everything was ready. And then, yeah, we were up and at it by what?
00:15:19
Speaker
9.15 in the morning? Yeah, we did. I will say that Claire didn't eat all the carrots she packed. She packed a lot of carrots and sandwiches. Did she eat all those sandwiches? I don't know, but she packed a container for her sandwiches and carrots and an apple. She lost the apple, right? She didn't make it to the starting line with that apple. No, she didn't. But there were plenty of apples along the road for her. Not like apple orchards, but they provided apples, was what I'm saying. There was a lot of food. There was a lot of food.
00:15:48
Speaker
We had our semi-precious t-shirts on, so the four of us. And we had two bright green and two bright orange tutus over the top. It was quite the show. And that became quite helpful because we could see each other. That was actually the best part.
00:16:06
Speaker
But it meant that you could spot each other if one person kind of fell behind to adjust something or to stretch a leg. You're like, all right, where are the tutus? Got the tutus, good. We're off. They were so popular with all the volunteers. They were. The volunteers would say, oh, yes, you're semi-precious, not fully precious, lucky before they realized that that we were Amber and Jade because we also had that pinned on the front on our
00:16:35
Speaker
Race bibs. Yeah. So we were doing a promo as we were walking. And the race bibs also were color coordinated. Really? Yeah, quite well. Red and green. So that's actually why we chose a great Aussie hunk. Because the aesthetic palette comes to the branding. The tones worked. The semi-precious.
Community Spirit and Support
00:16:54
Speaker
Not really anything to do with the great mental health work they do. No, that was secondary. I will say that Dalsford and having a three-night girls get away
00:17:06
Speaker
may have also influenced the choice. Highlights. What are your highlights of the walk? I will say that in all the photos and my entire vibe was just absolutely gleeful. You were annoyingly gleeful at the end. I was very gleeful the whole way through. I just think I smiled and grinned and danced the whole way.
00:17:34
Speaker
I know that's annoying. It was only annoying at the end because I was dying. Let me just tell you, let's just give some context.
00:17:42
Speaker
I'm almost 46. I've had lots of different prolapse discs in my back. People are paused to prolapse. There's a lot of sharing here. I've had a lot of disc injuries in my back. I've had hip stuff and just lots of back trouble. Monkey bites. That's a whole nother episode. Anyway, I've had a lot of
00:18:08
Speaker
back issues. So, the fact that I was able to train and get stronger and when I was walking, even though I was uncomfortable and in a moderate amount of pain at the beginning, it actually became less painful as I went along. So,
00:18:28
Speaker
I was just fucking happy. I was happy that I was walking and not breaking. And look, the weather was spectacular. We couldn't have asked for better. It was blue skies all day, but not hot. It was a little bit chilly towards the end of the day, but spectacular. So, one of the other highlights for the day, aside from
00:18:50
Speaker
the beautiful autumn leaves just blowing off the trees, which was just amazing. And the giant wallaby that raced across in front of us on the path, that was pretty cool. Was it the annoying conversations with people talking about school administration?
00:19:05
Speaker
There were those. That wasn't a highlight. The laughing men, there was a group of men and they were maybe around our age. They laughed really loudly, which was wonderful. They echoed through the whole area.
00:19:23
Speaker
But when they were right behind us, they were just talking about politics, American politics. And I had to actually do a jog to get away from them because they were also talking about like, you know, warfare and stuff. And I'm like, I called them the political pratlers. I don't know what they were called, but I moved ahead. And then I had to drop back at one point because women were talking about like,
00:19:49
Speaker
parent-teacher interviews. That also was not my vibe. I did admire the enthusiasm of the young men doing the 100K, kind of doubling back on us. One guy just jogged back and I'm like, dude, where are you going? He's like, oh, my team's a couple of K that way. I'm like, so you've got to go all the way back that way and then all the way forward again.
00:20:17
Speaker
But then was it Claire or Kim that said, oh, they're probably a decade younger than us. And then we calculated it. They're probably two decades. Yeah, they're two decades younger. We're not in our 30s and they were in their 20s. They're in their 20s. Yeah. I mean, shout out to the community spirit of the event. Not only was it organized with meticulous detail,
00:20:41
Speaker
But the volunteers at all the street crossings and just-in-spots with their giant cowbells. Those cowbells, every time I hear... I'm like Pavlov's dog now. Every time I hear a cowbell. Yes, I can do it. I can do it. I can get the next step. And people were making signs for their cars saying, you can do it. Well done. Oh, and imagine how funny you'll walk tomorrow. I'm imagining that now.
00:21:05
Speaker
I'm imagining that. I want to see you get up right now because that would not be safe for a while. But no, the volunteers and their cowbells, I know that sounds ridiculous because usually somebody jingling a loud bell in my ear and shouting at me would not be enjoyable. But on this occasion, they actually, their little smiling faces and their words of encouragement to every single person
00:21:30
Speaker
hour after hour that walked past them and they were just dotted throughout the whole course was so heartwarming and so beautiful and so inspiring that I just
00:21:41
Speaker
I smiled and got excited leading up to seeing them so that I could appreciate them with my own enthusiasm. With the right level of respect. And Claire. I mean, Claire, bless her soul. I mean, she was thanking each and every one of them for their time, looking them in the eye. Did she shake hands? I couldn't say. I don't know. She's like, thank you so much for doing that for some time. She was really getting in there.
00:22:11
Speaker
By the end, though, I was just, if I could even make eye contact with them, I was proud of myself because I was running out of muster. The last one was one of the last ones. Probably the third, last one was a guy standing very close to an incline, a hill. And he's like, you're almost there, only like 2K to go. And you're like,
00:22:37
Speaker
Is that the last fucking hill? I cannot do another fucking hill. Then he said, the hill you see there is the last hill you'll have to climb, Amber. They could all use our names because our names are written really big on race bibs, which is really weird the first time they're like, Jade, you're doing so well. Do we know each other? Do I know you? Santa.
00:23:04
Speaker
And she's like, it better be. And I'm like trying to laugh it off, trying to be the kind person there. And then we get up that hill and turn right. And that was a dirt hill. And then there was a road, which is also another... Another hill. Bastard hill. And I'm like, he knew that he was safe in his life because nobody was going down that hill. No, it's going back to punch him in the face. To punch him in the face for saying that was the last hill. Yeah. Because I will say,
00:23:32
Speaker
There were far more hills than I ever anticipated. There was a lot of hills. It was not a stroll, people. No. I mean, it wasn't like rock scrambling. Kim will say, it was easy. We'll punch you too. It wasn't that it was rock climbing scrambling, but there were a lot of inclines and declines. So, sorry, Kim, we don't want to punch you, but we know it wasn't that difficult, but it also was difficult enough. Yes.
00:24:01
Speaker
It was what we were saying. Difficult enough. Difficult enough. For a non-hiker. Can I also just talk about, we mentioned the music. They really knew their demographic, which was pretty much over 35, mostly over 40s. 40 to 60, I'd say. Because in the morning, they were pumping out the sort
Post-Hike Reflections and Humor
00:24:22
Speaker
of music that I would say
00:24:25
Speaker
You would be playing either at a suburban pub on a Friday night after nine o'clock or with your friends at a party after about 11 when all of your inner coolness is gone and you just want to hear the hits. Girls just want to have fun. And that was a song that Claire would come to my house when I was 19, 20 years old. She would come to my little apartment in South Yarra.
00:24:55
Speaker
And she would put that song on and then we would get ready to go out clubbing. So when Claire heard it, when we were getting our bacon egg rolls, she's like, walking on sunshine. Yeah. That's what we came into as we were at 7.30. Was it 5.30 at night?
00:25:13
Speaker
walking on sunshine. What were we exiting on? I don't know, but it was good. It was just good old 80s vibes. They were pumping it out super loud. And then on the way back when after I'd had the coffee love gel. Oh, the love gel. Yeah, there's so much content in the love gel. The love gel. The love gel did have a lot of content. So when Claire, Kim and I did the dreaded hike, we shall not mention,
00:25:40
Speaker
At the gorge, Claire had a severe headache on the way home because she'd had insufficient coffee. So, I went and bought these high potency energy coffee gels from a hiking store and they were called Love Gel, which got misconstrued into love juice and all sorts of things over the course of the last 24 hours.
00:26:08
Speaker
But what I will say about who had the love shell first, was it you? I had a first quite dramatically at the rest of the facial expression was very similar to your expression and sounds when you went into the provitor. Yeah. Well, you know when I started.
00:26:25
Speaker
squeezing the love juice gel into my mouth hole. Just your mouth, will you? Thanks. It was coffee, it was thick. It's like a fusion between the texture of peanut butter and honey together, but sort of like clear, a bit like some sort of bodily fluid.
00:26:51
Speaker
It was wrong. It was very wrong. And when I kind of like sculled it, even though you can't scull it, I just squeezed it super fast because I just wanted it over with. And I knew she'd invested in getting this for us. So I wanted to be respectful and ingest it and also wanted to throw up. And I went to put the rubbish in the bin, but it was still like it had consumed my mouth. Like I couldn't swallow it. It was just like there.
00:27:19
Speaker
And the woman thought, like, the volunteer thought I was in need of some sort of assistance. I was trying to put the rubbish in the bin. She's like, are you okay? Like, do you need help? I'm like, it's just the most disgusting thing I've ever put in my mouth. And she's just like, okay, look, I thought you were having some sort of a seizure. Like, I thought I was going to get the ambulance over here. No. No, it's just the love gel. It's just the love gel.
00:27:47
Speaker
Yeah. Anyway, I consumed my love gel in micro doses, which is much smarter. And then you did pep up after the love gel. That love gel. That really did the trick. The ticket. I was relating the love gel, which is actually, there's a sound bite about the love gel.
00:28:11
Speaker
It does remind me of when, and Amber didn't know this was a thing, but it is, when you get a little bit too old and your swallow reflex is not so good and they have to put a thickener in, you're like shoddy of an evening. I don't drink shoddy no matter how buttery it is. You will at that point. But I might at that point and they put thickener in it. That's kind of what it reminded me of. Not that I've had thickened shoddy, but I'm saying you don't get coffee and then make it into goo. Into goo. And then drink it.
00:28:42
Speaker
It was great, but it did get you through the last eight days. It did. And then Amber put on like Beastie Boys and Chili Peppers. And I was, I was like running up hills. She was running up hills and had the dexterity to dance in her tutu. And at that point, if Daggers could have come out of my eyes and into the back of her head, they would have. I was dancing with hiking poles and like up
00:29:09
Speaker
Cliffs. And then by then I had swapped over into my runners. I kind of felt like I was wearing slippers. You were all loose and fancy for everyone. It was, yeah, I actually felt like I was a little bit high. Like, what was in those goddamn things? Well, they had high potency energy, like an energy drink plus the coffee. OK, I was pretty pumped. And even after we got home, even though I was sitting on the couch and everybody was unwinding with their heat packs,
00:29:38
Speaker
Like my feet were still dancing, like are still moving. It's very disconcerting, but I also want some of that love gel. Again, I think I would- Let me get love gels in the jube. Oh, love jubes. I should have gone to your local store and asked for some love gels. Can I get some love jubes, please? Yeah. We forgot to mention, so we did talk about community spirit. Do you remember that section that we came around where there was a newly built
00:30:08
Speaker
age care facility. Oh, yeah. Was that almost at the car? Almost at the car. And next to the newly built age care facility look like a, is it a pod of kangaroos? A flurry? A group? A crew? A mob? A mob? Is it a mob? I don't know.
00:30:29
Speaker
A group? What is the other collective noun? A family? A group? I feel like it's a word. We could have Googled it quicker than this. Anyway, a lot of kangaroos and they could look a bit old too. And so we were wondering whether that was their little aged care facility also. You know, why do you... Oh, okay. It's a mob, a trooper, a court.
00:30:57
Speaker
There's a mob of kangaroos. They look like senior citizens. We believe they were elderly. They did not move. They were still there today. Yes. And then after that was like what looked like the local Arizona band. Yeah. Because that was our halfway point. They were playing for us. They played just for us. And you know what?
00:31:27
Speaker
The crunching sound is my shoes. Yeah. That was heartwarming. Listen, just for us. So, every group that came around the corner that have reached their 15K halfway point, they started playing for. It was actually the most heartwarming
00:31:42
Speaker
Bit of all. Yeah. What do you think was the worst bit? Because the bit for me was when they tricked us, we came up that big hill and then everyone dressed up and then they had buckets of free juice and chopper tops and snacks. But then as we turned the corner, so we're like, oh, we're on there. Like, you're nearly there. No, we weren't. We were still like seven kilometres away. But then when you turned the corner, was that motherfucker of a hill down and up?
00:32:10
Speaker
That was a big film. And you know what? That juice stop was really lovely. It was some lovely juicing, glass jars and some chubberchups and some ginger ale. I'm not sure why. Some ginger beer or some sort.
00:32:27
Speaker
The volunteers were so excitable and so dressed up and whatever that I felt the need to take one of the juices because I'm like, well, that's so sweet. But then it was in a glass jar and I'm pretty fatigued. I can't carry a glass jar. So then I realized that I just had to stand there and skull it.
00:32:47
Speaker
But I also had one of Amber's ear pods in and she'd just walked ahead and I was listening to the Beastie Boys and I knew if she got too far ahead, I wouldn't be able to hear the music anymore. And so then I just stood there and sculled this very thick green juice. Like it wasn't just like an orange or an apple. It was like a thing. On top of you just smooth the love juice. On top of my love juice. So I just consumed this like 300 ml juice
00:33:16
Speaker
like scald the whole thing and then left the rubbish in their box, not scattered through the forest, but in their box and then ran down the hill to you so that Beastie Boys wouldn't cut out. And then about 10 minutes later, all of that love juice was wanting to come out. No, that didn't come out well. No, all of the green juice. I needed to wait.
00:33:46
Speaker
And there were no toilets. And so then I had to pull over for a bushway and then 50 metres up the path. We found some toilets. Public toilets. And then another 50 metres up the path. Another lot of public toilets. The only public toilets we'd seen the entire day. Oh, except for the rest stop where we waited 20 minutes to get into the public toilets. Yeah. There's a long story. Sorry. All I was going to say is that there was four litres of random white milk in a bag that
00:34:14
Speaker
Everyone was walking past in the middle of nowhere going, why is there four litres of milk? No, it wasn't even four litres. It was about 12 litres because there were three litre containers and three of them. Oh no, that would be nine.
00:34:29
Speaker
I'm just going for two and two. Okay. Lots of milk. Lots of milk. And I just decided. A lot of milk. A mob of milk. I decided that whoever had been told to go and get that much milk, firstly had misjudged. That was how heavy they were going to be. Just a single plastic bag they were in there. I think they were supposed to be get three litres of milk, but they picked up three milks that were three litres. That's what I reckon happened.
00:34:53
Speaker
And then on the way home, they've thought, stuff it. I'm climbing this goddamn hill. They can go without milk. And they've just dropped the plastic bag with the nine liters of milk. It was on the social media. It was. We weren't the only people conceptualizing this milk story. We were pretty bored by this point and we had walked about 27 kilometres. So,
00:35:20
Speaker
This is our source of entertainment. All right. So is there anything else from the actual walk? Well, what I would say is, so we finished in, what, seven hours and 20 minutes. So that was pretty good. I was taking a small amount of solace in every time I passed someone who had started earlier than us feeling good about myself. I thought I was the only one doing that. I thought I was the only one looking at the asshole judging.
00:35:50
Speaker
You started before us. You started at 9.20. You started after us. We're passing you. Yes. So great. We're both assholes is what we're seeing. Thank you so much. So today we decided to reward ourselves with a spa treatment, which included some swimming and spa in a mineral pool and spa.
00:36:18
Speaker
This was my segue into talking about why I hate public bathing areas. Firstly, we were somewhere in this region swimming in some pools. Mineral pools. Yeah. Right. And, you know, that's a reasonably expensive swim. We were getting a massage as well afterwards, but that's an expensive swim. And I don't really want to hear toddlers.
00:36:42
Speaker
screaming in their, you know, baby nappies in an environment that's supposed to be about relaxing. But I'd prefer toddlers over teenagers. The teenagers were good. It was actually the annoying adults. I have a dislike for public pools in general, and having to take my daughter to a public pool often, which is a very busy public pool, is one of the most heinous experiences of my life. It's
00:37:09
Speaker
exceptionally bright lights, you've just got this weird vortex of people who on four o'clock in the afternoon are like in the sauna and then in their budgie smugglers like jumping into the spa. And I'm in my work clothes because I come straight from work to take care of swimming. And I've most often got my laptop and then you've just got people walking around in their budgies. A laptop?
00:37:35
Speaker
in a swimming pool. I've now converted to my iPad because the laptop was not convenient. But often there's a lot of parents there and they work close because they've done a quick dash to take the kids to swimming. And then you've just got people sitting around the spa, like enjoying themselves in all that noise and sweat and grime. And yeah, I do not understand the appeal of that. And I keep looking at all the grout and the tiles to think about all the festering germs that are in there.
00:38:03
Speaker
Does anyone else think that? Public pools. I don't like the noise, the humidity, like how hot it is. It's hot. It's loud. I can't really go into a public pool like I used to. And now every time I do it, I feel a bit nauseous. Like, it's like a mental
00:38:24
Speaker
game for me. Like, can you overcome the disgustingness? It's like putting your head in a bucket of worms or something. It's like, I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. It's great. So, people are choosing. This is what I find. Like, I sometimes have to get in with my daughter if she wants to go somewhere. But if they splash you in the face.
00:38:44
Speaker
Or if you have to put your head under and say you put your head under and you actually go for a swim and then you pick your head up and then you look at, you happen to catch the eye of the person in the lane next to you and they are like wiping boogers away and there's like a giant snot. Someone's coughing. And I just can't. I can't. I just can't do that. I can't be
00:39:08
Speaker
in all of that with all of your that. No. Was that articulate for you? There's a lot of that. Does anyone else look at the grout situation in pools? I don't, but now I will. Thank you. I can't. I look at the tiles. And you know when you can just see that tiles have not been cleaned and then the grout is like just so discolored. OK, so what I decided was that public pools should have designated
00:39:38
Speaker
times or days. Certain groups of people. I had some groups. I had like the loud chatters. I didn't want to say women because I don't care who you are. If you want to talk loudly about
00:39:53
Speaker
You know, sales targets or your kid's netball. Microsoft Windows. I just... I don't want to hear any of that shit. I don't want to hear any of that shit. Like, I'm not interested and I don't want to participate, especially if we're not there. Like, maybe a public pool where you're swimming, okay, you just do your lanes. But if we're doing anything other than swimming and we're all sitting around
00:40:20
Speaker
bathing, relaxing. I'm not engaged. Enthusiastic teenagers. And I put enthusiastic because I'm open to an individual coming in. Those teenagers today, the group of teenagers, were quiet, polite. They kept to themselves. I'm like, I'm not an ageist. You can be a teenager and be a fully decent human being. Copulating couples.
00:40:50
Speaker
That was not okay. But what was your sound bite from the copulating, one of the copulating couples or something? A couple had found themselves a little nook. I mean, this is a relaxation premium spa. It's not even, we're not even talking public swimming pool in a festering suburb. A terrible grout. Not only was the male individual
00:41:15
Speaker
looked like a Yeti. She's not judging at all. A large amount of body hair. Large amount of body mass. Large amount of body mass. Yeah. The offensive part was actually that he really looked like he was going to perform a sexual act on the woman at the end of her legs with her legs sort of open and he was sort of poised at the end with his head bobbling up in the water.
00:41:44
Speaker
It was really quite rancid. And I turned around and said, this is not a situation for growlers. It was. It was a moment. Not a situation for growlers. And this is not a dedicated OnlyFans section. No. No. No OnlyFans here kick couples porn and piss off. The young couple?
00:42:05
Speaker
also that seemed to be just behind us at every point that we were. I was more concerned about her own health that she kept putting her head under the water. Well, and then she'd playfully dunk him under the water. I'm like, oh, people. And then the little teenagers with their parents and he kept sneezing into the spa and then putting his head under and he was just kicking water. OK, that comes to the next section.
00:42:33
Speaker
Parents with kids of any age that practice a freer or more relaxed parenting style than mine. Otherwise, otherwise known as parents that just allow the kids to be ourselves. You need your own time, which follows with the other group of people who sneeze directly into pools, which also was associated with the above group.
00:43:02
Speaker
We did have a really great idea for the perimenopausal kind of spa. We did. But then I thought some of those women in the perimenopausal spa group could also fit into the chatting. Well, you could just have a subsection. So you've got a perimenopause or a menopausal dedicated spa. And then in that spa, there could be zones. You could just still be an annoying perimenopausal woman.
00:43:32
Speaker
I don't know that we're calling them noisy. We're annoying. We're calling them chatty and talkative and wanting to just have a good banter and the ones that like to be quieter. And that would be me when we were having our kind of girls' night. Typical cliche girls just want to have fun. Yeah. We talked about boobs and bras and penises and bikini lines and menstruation situations and picking up. And the hot man. But no pillow fights. Didn't have pillow fights. But we did.
00:44:02
Speaker
have phallic snacks. Did I phallic snacks, the cauliflower snacks? I bought two bags. Thanks, Amber. Flavoured cauliflower snacks. I didn't realise that they were phallically shaped, but... They were very, very, very much phallically shaped. Yeah. And so we will have to post a photo because you won't believe it until you see it. I ate... They are tasty, though.
00:44:28
Speaker
I ate like three of them and what I was surprised that they were salty and sweet. It gets you over time. Why were they sweet? Salty, I expect. But what, they were cauliflower snacks. Why were they sweet? And now you've got barbecued ones. I've still got barbecued ones. You got the barbecue. We'll get the barbecue for like cauliflower. We'll take a photo.
00:44:54
Speaker
My semi-precious moment is that I had done significantly insufficient fundraising for this event. So on the morning of the event, I realized I had the lowest fundraising of everyone in the group. And given, I pretty much organized the group that was not going to land. So I was guilt messaging everyone I knew, really.
00:45:21
Speaker
in the morning of. So, if you received a text message from me and you donated because I... Well, what if you received a guilt message from you, but you were actually one of the participants sitting here on the couch? I also messaged. So, she accidentally messaged one of the participants here, thinking it was a friend with the same name.
Fundraising and Personal Anecdotes
00:45:47
Speaker
But then afterwards I thought, it's actually genius because I could have got to
00:45:51
Speaker
She was desperate. And then I realized I was starting to feel rejection, sensitivity, dysphoria, that maybe I don't know enough people.
00:46:04
Speaker
No, one of those ADHD things, right, where I'm just like, oh, yeah, maybe nobody loves me. Because Claire got more donations, like way, way more. Claire worked hard. She really carried the team. She did carry the team in many ways. Definitely the donations. Yes, but I was feeling a bit like, oh.
00:46:24
Speaker
Crap. I still gotta calculate mine at the end. We don't need to calculate. Let's just say that Claire won. She did win. Claire won. That's why she got the good bedroom. That's when she did an awesome job. She got, ah yes, Claire got the good bedroom. Now Airbnb.
00:46:39
Speaker
Paul Kim, who is tall, was stuck in a single bed. And when she jumped in bed, and I was in a single bed opposite her, and I'm like, you're right in there. And she threw the duna back and her legs were sticking all the way over the edge. A foot over the edge.
00:46:57
Speaker
Which was very amusing to me because I'm only five foot two and I was not as a bargain my little kids having a toddler bed Okay, is there anything else any precious moment? I have one that I said I was gonna read out on behalf of my husband. Yes. I'm calling one in from my husband and
00:47:18
Speaker
So he was looking for places to go out, restaurants to go for boys' nights. He's always on the scout for a good restaurant. He likes good food, usually cooks at home. But if something's unusual, he'll take it. And he said, oh, wow, there's a local Brazilian place.
00:47:37
Speaker
Not the Brazilian he was thinking of. Was he looking at getting a runway done? That wouldn't be a Brazilian then, Amber, would it? Well, they were factored from the brilliant Brazilian. You've got to start slow, right? You've got to go to the airstrip and then go from there. But he was quite sincere.
00:48:02
Speaker
And I had to say, no, love. That's not good. If you take your mates there, it's going to be something else. It's going to be something else. It'll be bonding. It might not be what you expected.
00:48:18
Speaker
Anyway, I don't want to go to any more food references around the Brazilian and eating out and take away and I'm not going there. So you go with your semi-precious. What? No, just sort of lots of crude jokes. Yeah. But yeah, no, it's not. None? No. OK. No, I did mine. I was yours. The last call. The fact that I had my phone raised. Well, you know, was it? Was it your semi-precious? Yeah.
00:48:47
Speaker
Oh, that was cute. Was there any others? I live in semi-precious. She lives in semi-precious. That's the whole sentence. That is. Yeah. Listen. I think personally harassing people an hour before a hike. What's up there? Okay. Okay. You didn't even have one of your own, so don't go judging me. Oh, look, I have. You had your husband. Yeah. That was valuable. Shut up. All right.
00:49:14
Speaker
Well, let's wrap this check here. All right. If you'd listen like... No, go. You go. Who knows? Can I just end this podcast with how we started before we turned on camera, which is Jade saying, I think we're too drunk to record this podcast. We haven't even had a whole bottle of wine between us. I don't know what happened. No. We're just a little bit delirious. We are delirious. Yeah. So anyway.
00:49:44
Speaker
What was it? I was like, well. I don't need to type that.
00:49:53
Speaker
I can't remember how we rambled this. We usually say, if you'd like to listen to more of our ramblings, then subscribe to your favourite potty platform. And then I say, I hate the word potty. And you say podcast of choice. And then you say next. You also say next episode is going to be. What is our next episode?
00:50:18
Speaker
Our next episode is how the hell do we get Amber to find enough time to record the episode? Time management. Time management is not really, we'll figure it out before we get there. Thanks for listening. Yeah, thanks for listening. Stay great. This has been very succinct to round up. You're supposed to do the tagline then. What is it? Embrace your uncover. Oh yeah, until then.
00:50:44
Speaker
embrace your uncut and unpolished selves. Whoo! Bye! See ya! Sayonara!
Concluding Thoughts on Travel Food
00:50:56
Speaker
So now that we've passed, the mum's talking very loudly and angrily about school politics, primary school, but they're children. I can share what I've been thinking about for the last 10, 15 minutes with Amber and Claire. You know when you watch those big epic movies like Lord of the Rings or something and they always have those like travel foods and like wrapped up in leaves and
00:51:26
Speaker
I'm just always so fascinated that I want to taste them the whole way through the movie. Is that weird? Yeah.