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Ep. 5: Being a Boss Bitch
96 Plays1 year ago
EPISODE 5, Amber and Jade go deep into their contrasting experience of business, personal drive, appetite for risk and connection to the term “boss bitch”. As Jade describes it, “the full hardy bravery” required to dig in, work hard and build a career of passion and self advocacy. Amber reflects with some seriousness, on her approach to “failing fast” and the risk v reward attitude that drove her success after she fled a domestic violence situation, starting a business and raising a child on her own.
Amber and Jade talk about the importance of impact, loneliness, professional acknowledgement (or lack thereof), recognition and validation in their contrasting industries - strategy & branding and therapeutic counselling.
At some point whilst head first into the editing process, Jade decides things need a little spicing up so interjects the pre-recording with an impromptu phone call to catch Amber off guard and inject “some energy” into the episode! 📷Apologies for the low-fi sound quality of that little bit, Amber was sitting in a wardrobe at the time!
Take a listen if you want to her Amber and Jade talk about finding new ways to find joy, reinvigorating their businesses and Amber’s disdain for the term “entrepreneur” and “mumpreneur”.
To follow and subscribe to your mildly unhinged SEMI-PRECIOUS hosts, you can connect via Instagram and
Connect with Jade:
If you are wanting to understand more about Jade and her counselling practice or ADHD Coaching you can visit Awaken ADHD or on socials Instagram and Facebook
Connect with Amber:
If you’ are curious about Amber and her brand agency you can visit The Edison Agency or follow her on socials LinkedIn or Instagram
CREDITS
Producer: Amber Bonney and Jade Bonney
Hosts: Amber Bonney and Jade Bonney
Sound Editing: Jade Bonney
Social Content Creator: Amber Bonney
Creative Director: Amber Bonney
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Transcript
Acknowledgment of Traditional Landowners
00:00:00
Speaker
This podcast is recorded on the lands of the Boon Wurrung country and we wish to acknowledge them as traditional owners. We recognise First Peoples of Australia as the original storytellers of this country and pay our respects to elders past, present and emerging.
Introduction to Semi-Precious Podcast
00:00:23
Speaker
You are listening to a semi-precious podcast hosted by uncut and unpolished sisters Amber and Jade.
Exploring the Term 'Boss Bitch'
00:00:31
Speaker
All right, welcome to semi-precious episode five, being a boss bitch and what that means. How do you feel about that term? I'm not a boss bitch. I'm a really kind, gentle, empathic, person-centered therapist. That sounds boring.
00:00:51
Speaker
It's not boring. Would you like to come to a council and sit down? Hey, I'm boss bitch. Sit down. This is what you need to do. Yeah. I think it's just more about the attitude. I don't introduce myself as boss bitch. That's not how you enter your strategy. No, I don't have any credentials documents that say boss bitch.
Reframing 'Bitch' and Empowerment
00:01:11
Speaker
Okay. Um, sorry if any of my clients are listening, which they probably will be at some point. Okay. So what does it mean to you?
00:01:22
Speaker
I suppose the word bitch for me is just sort of about owning that word in a positive way. So that's why I like that term. What is it in a positive way to you? Well, because bitch has always been used in such a negative way to denigrate women. They're a bitch. She's a bitch. So owning that and attaching it to your own sense of employment.
Business Empowerment and Financial Independence
00:01:44
Speaker
I think the benefit of running a business, just to jump right in there.
00:01:48
Speaker
If you can pay your own wage, like that is a pretty empowered position. Certainly. You know, I think when you're talking about reframing a negative word or term and you say, bitch, you say, what is the empowerment there for you in that?
00:02:08
Speaker
Just turning into a counseling session.
Owning Business Decisions and Destiny
00:02:10
Speaker
I can feel it. She's got counseling voice on, which as we've discussed before is almost soft porn voice as well. Um, let's hope my clients aren't listening. Yeah, that's true. Sorry about that. Uh, ask a question again. I've forgotten what you were saying. It's about bitch. What is the quality that I guess makes you a strong empowered autonomous woman?
00:02:37
Speaker
I don't think it's a bitch on its own. I think it's the fusion of those two. Is that I am in charge of my own destiny. Is that
Creating Empowering Career Roles
00:02:47
Speaker
paying that salary to yourself?
00:02:49
Speaker
Yeah. Cause anyone can be a boss bitch, but I suppose the way I think about it, well, the way it has meaning for me is in running a business, being my own boss, making the decisions, being in charge of those decisions, just a power thing. I like it. You like it. I guess it's never, it's never felt like me. I've never identified with it. I still probably don't. What would you identify with? In a sense of being a business owner.
00:03:18
Speaker
I guess there's the empowerment part for me where I was looking for roles for a long time that felt, and that is a not empowering place when I was looking for roles and nothing seemed to be right for me.
Jade's Journey to Informal Practice
00:03:33
Speaker
I get to create and tailor how I want to work and what that looks like.
00:03:39
Speaker
So there's the empowerment in creating that and not having to fit myself into something, not having to make those sacrifices. Is that why you started your own business? Yeah, I think so. I was looking for lots of different roles out there and none of them seemed to fit who I was and what I was about. I think I'm a little more
00:04:02
Speaker
informal and relaxed and organic. I don't know if that's the word I'm looking for but you know I didn't want a clinical style practice. I wanted a more relaxed environment. I wanted to be you know in a collaborative space with the people I work with and it didn't feel like
00:04:21
Speaker
the other places I was looking and other roles I was looking for weren't really aligned to that. So it made sense to go into private practice and start something on my own, but it wasn't a, it was driven out of a need to create my own.
Vulnerabilities in Business Ownership
00:04:36
Speaker
But I certainly won't say it was, that it felt empowering or always feels empowering. It actually can feel really vulnerable and sometimes lonely.
00:04:44
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, maybe the boss bitch for me is actually a current state of play. Okay. Maybe. Because I started for the same reasons as you did. Yeah, for sure. So one, when I left a business I'd been in for eight years. Was that where we worked together? It was where we worked together. We worked together once upon a time in my previous life. That was before you decided to go and change careers. Working with me was so awful that Jade decided to
00:05:12
Speaker
because you're a bit of a boss bitch back then. Um, so there wasn't anywhere I really was interested in working at the time I was a single parent, so I needed a level of flexibility.
Financial Independence for Women's Empowerment
00:05:31
Speaker
And I've talked about this a lot in my professional
00:05:36
Speaker
career and I recently gave an International Women's Day talk to a corporate client of ours and I spoke about the empowerment that comes from being able to support your family autonomously.
00:05:51
Speaker
I just got tingles through my body when you said that, Amz. Like, you know, it's why I'm so passionate about gender equity and raising the profile of women in leadership and also about educating girls on financial literacy and independence because I see
00:06:09
Speaker
that journey for me even though I was a single parent and you know there's lots of cliches that go with that but I had a good education I was lucky enough to have a good education and I had a good job and I had earning capacity that enabled me to have freedom of choices and so the privilege that comes with that even though at that time from a relationship perspective you know I was fleeing a domestic violence situation and you know it was a really complex
00:06:37
Speaker
environment, imagine going through that with all of the bullshit that goes with separating from a psychotic, drug-addicted moron. It's probably many people have identified with that. Yeah, for sure. Imagine going through that, but then not having the earning capacity and having to just rely on
00:06:54
Speaker
Centrelink or just a job that didn't pay particularly well and where it didn't have much flexibility.
Risk-Taking in Business with ADHD
00:07:02
Speaker
That can be the difference between having the choice to stay or leave for many women. So there's financial independence and financial literacy and competency is something you're quite passionate about for women so that they have a choice. You have a choice.
00:07:19
Speaker
Yeah, you can choose to even have the confidence that you can support those children or yourself if you have no children, that you can actually support yourself. I think for me, the boss bitch is like a reflective, I've done that, I've taken the step. And since ADHD diagnosis, I suppose I've also identified that that risk-taking behavior can be
00:07:45
Speaker
can be typical of people with ADHD and sometimes that shows up in different ways for different people. So sometimes that risk taking might be in being more promiscuous or more taking, you know, social risks. For example, I'm probably less in that camp, but more in taking business risks and backing myself, which is really trade the
Quick Decision-Making in Business
00:08:06
Speaker
risks.
00:08:06
Speaker
Because mine are all the bad, crappy risks that didn't actually get me very far. And almost cost me my life several times. And yours are the, I'm just going to dive in and take that risk and just see where I land. And go for it. I guess there's a certain amount of foolhardy bravery in there. Yes. And I do remember thinking to myself back in that time. So this was 2011 when I started my business.
00:08:33
Speaker
And I remember thinking, what is the worst thing that can happen? The worst thing that can happen is, you know, the project falls over and you can't deliver. We tend to catastrophize. So, all right, let's run with the catastrophizing. The equation was the worst thing is you're going to have a wounded ego. That's a big motivator for me because I do not like to not achieve something and succeed.
00:08:57
Speaker
So the worst thing is that you just can't make it work or that you've bitten off more than you can chew and you can't take enough money and you have to go and get a job. Still, I knew I was employable. So the risk was just that it fails, it falls over, you've got a tail between your legs, but don't get a job.
00:09:19
Speaker
You're okay. Yeah. So you would just go out and you would take these risks and you would make decisions quite quickly. Yeah, I think so. I do. I do make decisions quickly. It's like you don't give yourself too much time. To reflect. To reflect or dread or the what ifs. I also just get bored quickly.
Balancing Empowerment and Vulnerability
00:09:38
Speaker
So I just, it's like, come on, move on. Next decision. Let's do it. I like to just jump in and do it. Fail fast. That's why.
00:09:46
Speaker
Fail fast. Yeah. If someone's going to fall over, just know it's going to fall over. Don't drag it out for like 20 months. I do not like gestating over decisions. I just get bored and lose interest and go, okay, well, that time is passing. I'm still on that learning curve. I gestate for a really long time.
00:10:06
Speaker
No, I just make decisions. Make decisions fast. I think you've kind of earned that badge of being that boss bitch, I guess, in a sense that it hasn't been an easy road for you. Yes, there were some privileges that you speak about, but at the end of the day, you worked damn hard and clawed your way up from nothing and from domestic violence.
00:10:30
Speaker
And when we say nothing, we're literally talking about drained bank accounts, including money boxes. My son's bank account and money box. Yeah. Drained. And that wasn't her spending it on face cream, just letting go. There was no, I will say there was no $380 moisturizers back then. No.
00:10:48
Speaker
And so you did work very, very hard to get to where you are. And you chose that freedom of running a business for yourself because you didn't want to compromise. Like you were saying, you really wanted to be able to be the mother that you needed to be because you needed to be the mother and the father. And you needed that flexibility and not to have to apologize and feel guilty for it all the time.
00:11:13
Speaker
And there were multiple ways I could have made money. No. Really? Tell me about all of the ways you could have made money. Although if that's your choice and that's what makes you happy, go for it. The whole nother episode on that, because I'm still on the
Strategic Career Choices for Relevance
00:11:26
Speaker
fence about the sex work industry.
00:11:28
Speaker
Uh, but there are other ways. So when I started the business, I had come out of employment with a business that had, it was a small business, so we were under 20 people, but had a big portfolio of clients, very strategic work and a great reputation. And so when I left that business and I took six months off and then ended up not taking a full six months, ended up taking four or five months.
00:11:54
Speaker
I could have just sort of taken any work and just gone, oh, I'm just going to do branding for small businesses, for example. But what I wanted to do was not just earn money. I also wanted to keep the career trajectory going up. And so in my industry, in media communications, branding, design, whatever you want to call it, or whichever segment you're in, you're sort of only ever as good as your last few projects. And so
00:12:20
Speaker
If you want to work with big organizations or big brands or just a specific section of the industry, just so you only want to work for not-for-profits, that's your bag. If you start doing projects that are not in that space, then when it goes to putting a proposal forward for a big not-for-profit that you would love to work for, if you don't have relevant case studies or examples of work that you've done in that industry, you just become irrelevant.
00:12:50
Speaker
And so I intentionally wanted to keep that trajectory going while my profile was still relevant. So within a couple of years, and that's exactly what I did. And I never took smaller jobs, even when potentially that might've boosted income. Ah, the cash flow rate.
Fulfillment from Impactful Work
00:13:08
Speaker
You didn't sell out for that. No.
00:13:10
Speaker
So just for every spare second of my time of which there was not much, I invested both money and mental capacity into continuing to chase the type of clients that I wanted.
00:13:26
Speaker
Wow. And I always give advice to young people leaving uni in this industry. Don't spend too long. You've kind of got two years really, I think, when you leave uni, two years grace period of just sort of working anywhere. If you just work anywhere for too long, you would never get your foot in the door into an industry that you want because you haven't got the experience.
00:13:53
Speaker
Right. And so there's something about having a job versus having a career of passion. And that for you is really important, it sounds like. It is. Yeah. And that's different for everyone, but I've just always been a very driven person. The work excites me.
00:14:11
Speaker
Of course, with my ADHD hyper focus, I love getting stuck into big, complex, difficult projects. And so my work not only delivers the, I suppose, financial sustenance that contributes to the family, but also a sense of self-worth in tackling big projects and finding solutions and then seeing the impact of that in industry and to my clients and to everyone involved in that project. That's really emotionally rewarding.
Maintaining Joy in Business
00:14:41
Speaker
And I wonder about, you know, thinking about the last episode and you're talking about fun, you know, and having enjoyment and planning fun. How is that balance for you in your work now? I know that you get that intellectual and creative stimulation from solving those big problems, but what about the enjoyment of the day-to-day in the creative space now?
00:15:02
Speaker
Yeah, it's diminished. Well, 12 years in and I think one of the perils of running your own business is, and there's all sorts of own businesses, right? So we've got 16, 15, 16 employees. So obviously there's the people management side of having a business. Then there's the feeding the beast pipeline and new business, which, you know, when you have significant
00:15:30
Speaker
overheads like we do. That becomes a stress. It's not necessarily fun anymore. And then, you know, there's businesses that are just one person. So like yourself, you have different pressures or different pain points. The joy part becomes really difficult as the responsibility.
00:15:48
Speaker
increases, because even when we get a new project in, which at times is still really fun, the fun gets diminished somewhat by all the practicalities of timesheets and how much budget have we got and is there a risk associated to this project? Are they reduced timeframes that we have to deliver in? And then there's the briefing and management internally of all the different people who need to work on the project.
00:16:15
Speaker
And the fact that it, you know, I can just imagine, you know, knowing that I can never kind of catch you on the phone or catch you for a meeting of any sort, that you bounce from meeting to meeting from moment to moment without much space in between these days, right? Yeah. So there's not a lot of pausing and then you have multiple projects on the go.
00:16:37
Speaker
The benefit I suppose now for me and my role in the business is I do have strong team surrounding me. And so I don't have to be across absolutely everything, but I do need to be super focused on the key projects that are in at the time. So the way the funnel kind of works is I do most of the strategy and then executive creative direction, which means I basically set the tone and the vision for where thought the solution is going to be and how we're going to capture that.
00:17:06
Speaker
And so I'm mostly involved at the beginning, so I might have three major projects on the go at once. And depending on how much headspace I have, you might be toggling between a few hours of time on each project and then trying to find the right space to do the strategic and creative thinking.
00:17:25
Speaker
but then still have all the other pressures of profitability and your business pipeline and all the other challenges that come with running a business. It sort of diminishes the joy from the project itself.
Lack of Validation in Leadership Roles
00:17:38
Speaker
But the payoff is you're empowered. You're making your own choices. You're running the show for yourself.
00:17:48
Speaker
Can I just say I did some self-reflecting the other day. One of the challenges of running your own business, and I'd imagine that this is whether you'll have a business with one person or a team of 2000 people, hashtag goals. Um, hashtag my worst nightmare.
00:18:09
Speaker
When you are the sole decision maker for the business, so even though I have a great team around me of people and a partner in my husband who also works in the business too, when you're leading, nobody says, well done and thank you.
00:18:24
Speaker
Oh, nobody. Nobody says, amazing work. Let's, you know, have a chat about all of your successes and wins and celebrate them and yeah, have the afternoon off. Occasionally staff will say, thank you for an event, maybe like a Christmas party that you might have spent $5,000 on. But that's not really congratulating you on your work.
00:18:52
Speaker
on your leadership, on your accomplishments. I just can't even remember the last time that within work. So obviously when you run a business, you have to keep morale up and you want to be supportive and encouraging of everyone in the business. Of which I will say, like, I don't really give out compliments willy-nilly. I think my employees would probably say that. Like I'm not, I don't hand them out like handy.
00:19:22
Speaker
They've got to be earned. But there are times where you're proud of your own work, but it doesn't get acknowledged because nobody thinks that the boss needs to be acknowledged because they run the company. So that's sort of their job. But sometimes it'd be nice to go, hey, the work you did on that project, that was really great.
Fulfillment through Client Growth
00:19:44
Speaker
I feel like that as just as a side note as a parent sometime,
00:19:50
Speaker
Like it'd be really nice to hear you're doing an awesome job. Yeah. And I recently did hear from, my girls are pretty good at acknowledging when I've done a good job and very clear when I've done a crap job, but recently, um, my daughter bless. I was being interviewed for a magazine for the Australian conservation foundation. And in that interview, she acknowledged.
00:20:20
Speaker
me and that she couldn't do this creative work that she's doing, this artwork without me supporting her moment by moment. And I'm like, oh, they do see it. I am acknowledged because, yeah, I get that sense that who, who is championing? Yeah. Yeah. Does that right? Our achievements.
00:20:41
Speaker
And are we missing celebrating our strengths and our moment? Maybe that's where. So you can self advocate, right? But is it the same as someone saying, Jade, you're doing, yeah, a really great job.
00:20:57
Speaker
No, I don't feel it is. So you can say to yourself, hey, that was a really difficult session in counseling, which, oh my God, I just don't even know how you do that. Hold the space for difficult, complex issues. Also, without wanting to punch some people in the face. Yeah, I don't want to punch any of my clients ever just letting you know.
00:21:16
Speaker
But, you know, to not have bitch face on when you're listening to stories, and you have to hold the space for very complex trauma stories, which is traumatic in itself, just listening to that. But you might have clients that say, thank you, that was a really great session. Maybe they just live crying and it's not, that's just the way it is.
00:21:39
Speaker
You don't have anyone to say, hey, wow, Jade, you really managed that exceptionally well. Oh my God, it is actually really, really hard. I sometimes walk out of a session and go, I mean, sometimes I walk out and go, oh, that wasn't, I didn't handle that as well as I could have or that
00:21:59
Speaker
That wasn't a great session for whatever the reasons, but sometimes I walk out and I feel so proud of myself for the way I held space or the way that they grew or I worked to their insights or whatever it was. But you're right. I just kind of have to go. It's like I look around and there's no one I can tell. There's no one I can share up with.
00:22:22
Speaker
I can kind of say I did a good job, but that's it. Until a client actually reflects back and shares it. And then in those moments, yeah, the affirmation is so much more delightful and sweet when it comes from somebody else.
Referrals as Professional Validation
00:22:43
Speaker
And so what are the ways, so given you run a business where it's just you,
00:22:48
Speaker
What are the ways that you know you're having impact? Well, you know, when I feel it is whether a client has reflected back or not. When I actually see people's growth, when I see them soften, when I see them become more aware of themselves and, you know, overcome challenges, that's when I feel like, you know, I'm making a difference and it's worth it. The other way I can think of that I know you've spoken to me about
00:23:17
Speaker
And it is also mirrored in our business is when you get referrals from people you respect. Oh, yes. No, definitely, Amber. That is 100%. Because you've had referrals from peers, so psychologists and other counsellors. And so that must be an amazing recognition of your impact.
00:23:35
Speaker
I have many referrals from other clients, but then I have other clients that are also mental health practitioners that are then also referring people to me. So that I guess is the greatest validation. Most of the work I do, you know, is referral based. I'm not really, I've never been great with, you know, advertising or promotion or social media, you know, staying up to date with those things.
00:24:03
Speaker
Yeah, the validation that does come from the referrals is really good.
Loneliness in Business Ownership
00:24:07
Speaker
And I guess the same would be said for you, right? Yeah. So we have, I mean, obviously clients say positive things, but not always, obviously to me, to my team, and that gets filtered across the business. Definitely when a client, when we get a call to say, you know, so-and-so has suggested we give you
00:24:26
Speaker
a call. That's always, you know, the greatest gift, isn't it? Or acknowledgement that they trust you. It's their profile is built on a reputation of quality also. So to be recommended means people think that you're capable and not going to do their profile damage by recommending someone crap. But is that personal enough for you? You know, given for me, it is only me. So it is personal, but for you, it is.
00:24:52
Speaker
I think one of the things that I think all business owners would be feeling, like whether you're running a plumbing business, a furniture business, a design business, a counseling business, you're running a bakery, whatever it is.
00:25:08
Speaker
It's lonely because the only people thinking about this 24 hours a day are you. And naturally, people just forget all of the perils and responsibilities. And so much like everything in life.
00:25:24
Speaker
you don't necessarily, you know, thank your partner for all the things they do. You might just acknowledge like the key milestones. And so when you're running a business, much like, you know, your employees, no one's walking around saying, thanks for giving me a job and thanks for not firing me during lockdown and sacrificing your profit margin to keep me employed.
Rediscovering Joy in Work
00:25:47
Speaker
No, I really can't say just take for granted that that's
00:25:50
Speaker
happening. Yeah, right. So how do you celebrate it? And how do you, you know, when you were reflecting the other day, not well enough. Did you get anywhere? No. No. Well, I think the insight was it's important to try and find more joy in the work.
00:26:08
Speaker
Because if we can't find, join the work, then the business actually just, and this is 12 years in, it just actually becomes an anchor in a drowning way. And so I always have to find new ways to reinvent or reinvigorate the business. That's our proposition in fixing other businesses. People come to us when their business or brand is in distress.
00:26:32
Speaker
And we help fix it, much like yours really, but different. I need personally to constantly change the business, the proposition. I mean, we're in an industry that you can't really sit still for too long or you just kind of become irrelevant, but trying to find ways to enjoy the work. And over the last 12 months, that's been really hard.
Injecting Humor and Rebelling against Conventions
00:26:54
Speaker
coming out of lockdown, like actually going. There's many times where I'm like, I'm just going to shut this shit down. It's just too soon. It's too much. Too tiring. Sorry to interrupt this podcast. It's just that I'm going to be bored, to be honest, and I'm thinking maybe I just need to get Amber on the phone. So let's see if she can spice it up a bit. All right. I'm going to press dial and put her on speakerphone.
00:27:29
Speaker
Hello, this call is being recorded for podcast training purposes. Do you accept? I accept. Lovely. So basically, you know that I was editing the Boss Bitch episode? Yeah. Remember how I said the Boss Bitch episode sounded a bit boring, sounded like we were just kind of talking about joy and celebration and wasn't very funny?
00:27:53
Speaker
So basically I just need you to give me a few sound bites, something that I can inject in to the episode where we're a little more exciting. What do you got for me? What's boss bitch? What's funny? No pressure. Yeah, I'm not feeling the pressure. Why can't you inject something funny? This is me injecting something funny.
00:28:13
Speaker
I feel like injecting something funny is actually putting pressure onto me, injects something funny. All right, not something funny. What's boss... Give me some boss bitch sound bite. Being over 40 makes me a boss bitch. No, I don't like that. Move on. I've been able to pay my own wage for 12 years. That makes me a boss bitch.
00:28:37
Speaker
Mm-hmm. Yeah, we got that. We got that in the episode. We've already covered that. Yep. Well, I need, I need some promptives. And what, what have I actually said? You've said paying your own way. You said you give less. What about being a boss bitch is not following the status quo. Not just accepting the status quo. Not accepting the status quo. All right. What does that look like? It's like a rebellious spirit.
Framing 'Boss Bitch' as Rebellion
00:29:05
Speaker
A bit of a fuck you to
00:29:07
Speaker
convention for the sake of convention. All righty. I'll take it. I just needed something to throw in there. If you've got any like jokes, random jokes, it's just feeling a bit flat and I just wanted something humorous. I didn't have anything. You were the joker. So no pressure.
00:29:24
Speaker
This is a bit, it's a skit, it's a stink. That's what people are actually going to be fast-forwarding. That's what they're going to be hearing you rambling. They might fast-forward, but if you're funny, they won't. Speaking of fast-forward, there's a really hilarious meme that I think we should put into links, the show links, about listening to training and development videos. And it's a little video of a poodle sitting at a computer desk.
00:29:55
Speaker
fast-forwarding training and development video and then what makes it funny is you can hear the 15 second you know move as you're moving through your training and development video and then it stops on and then the questionnaire at the end so when you realize you've been skipping through and then there's a questionnaire and you go oh shit now I actually have to go back
00:30:16
Speaker
what it was and hopes that I passed. That feels like me in life actually. I just skip through everything and then right at the end somebody gives me the questionnaire and I don't know what it was. There are many meetings where I zone out and then someone will say and so what do you think about that Amber? What does a boss bitch do Amber?
00:30:37
Speaker
Sometimes the boss bitch can just make
Finding Gratitude in Everyday Moments
00:30:40
Speaker
up something esoteric on the spot that is non-committal and vague enough to just sort of sound like I'm highly intelligent and I'm really pondering what they're talking about.
00:30:50
Speaker
Is that when people use the word juxtapose? Yeah, it could be. I do use the word juxtapose. I also use the word incongruous. Do you hear me use the word incongruous as possibly is because I haven't been listening. She's bullshitting it. She's boss bitch. I think the ultimate boss bitch response in that scenario is actually just having to own it. I might actually just say I'm really sorry. I just zoned out. Because you bore me to tears.
00:31:15
Speaker
And you just repeat that question. Look, I'm just not following. Can you reframe that question for me?
00:31:22
Speaker
Can you bring me a croissant and then reframe the question? Cause I'm a bit hungry too. I think I've got enough here. All right. Well, um, your semi-precious moment also might be that I've been sitting here at work, at my desk, ready to record a podcast with you. And you got on the phone call earlier and said, we recording today. So sorry about this interruption. Yeah. Back to the episode.
00:31:51
Speaker
And also gratitude, right? Like when you have a team of people, much like a family, right? When all the family are not showing any gratitude, like you're just, you're not vibing that. Like for anyone who's going through that period with their kids where they are just, you know, little assholes. It's hard to feel like it's fun. Like this is fun.
00:32:12
Speaker
It's like, you know, I'm not saying little assholes and then referring to a newborn baby, but you know, before the newborn baby smiles and you know, it might be, you know, a month where you have just got these sleepless nights and there's vomiting, screaming creature that is just staring at you blankly. And then the first time they smile, that's not related to gas. Okay. I'll keep doing it then. I'll keep going. I'll keep going. And so that, that gratitude for the effort
00:32:39
Speaker
and work you're putting in is what you want and to find the joy. Yeah, I think that's just a human need. I try and find humor in every session. I don't think we can just sit with the hard stories all the time that we have to punctuate it with joy. Oh my goodness, I just got a pistachio croissant this morning from the French patisserie around the corner. That was a moment of joy.
Critique of 'Entrepreneur' Labels
00:33:05
Speaker
We need more joy. Today wasn't rubbish.
00:33:07
Speaker
I had these moments of... I had a pistachio croissant. I feel like we're running out of time and I forgot to talk about my distaste for the word entrepreneur. Oh, go for it. Yeah. When you hear the word entrepreneur, what do you think of? I guess I think of somebody brave enough to go out on their own and try something new and give it a go. No, that's not. She's giving me death stares and squinty face. Squinty face, death stares. Okay. You don't have a loathing distaste for the light.
00:33:36
Speaker
I don't, so tell me why you do and then maybe I will. I feel like it's heavily overused. Like everyone at the moment just seems to be an entrepreneur. Like social media, like I get millions of emails from people wanting to partner.
00:33:57
Speaker
I feel like... No, no, no. The word that really, really makes you... Mompreneur? No. Influencer. That makes me want to get a bit stubby. Mompreneur actually makes me... Well, that makes me want to vomit because it's saying, oh, if you're not just a mum, you can go and do something else. It's offensive. And there are networks around Mompreneurs. I feel like it's diminishing.
00:34:25
Speaker
Like you can be a mum and run a business, or be a mum and an entrepreneur. Or you can be a mum and be a mum, but yeah, the mumpreneur.
00:34:40
Speaker
Is that what it is? Yeah. Unpreneur. Unpreneur. I mean, the word itself is annoying, but the fact that, yeah, it's diminishing either of the roles and saying, I don't know what it's saying, but I don't like it. Yeah. Entrepreneur. Okay, go back to that. People describe, have described me as an entrepreneur in the past. And I just, it just doesn't, it doesn't land with me. I don't like it. I don't like that there's so many people who talk about being an entrepreneur and like on LinkedIn, for example,
00:35:06
Speaker
Just the volume of people that say they're entrepreneurs. I feel like it's just a broad, sweeping statement, but it doesn't. Is it like you can be a business owner? I feel like it's trying to glorify business ownership in a way that makes you seem cooler and more innovative than potentially you actually are. And business ownership is really tough. It's not it. Okay.
00:35:28
Speaker
So maybe it is what it means to you to be a business owner and how hard that you have worked and the journey you have taken is not just something small and easily dismissed and lighthearted and I could have it or not have it. It is your whole heart and soul and life and struggle and risk and
00:35:50
Speaker
Yeah, I feel like it just, it talks to the veneer of business ownership and in a really wanky, yeah, it diminishes the actual work. And maybe it only relates to certain industries, like diplomas talk about themselves as being entrepreneurs. Or like babies. Dad printers. Yeah. Like there wouldn't be a dad printer. There wouldn't be. Cause there's probably just the assumption that dads just do
Humorous Makeup Mishap Anecdote
00:36:12
Speaker
business. So.
00:36:13
Speaker
So if you are a mum and you do run a business, I'd really encourage you to avoid using the term. Because it's just going to annoy my sister. So basically don't do it. Don't diminish yourself. Don't diminish yourself. And also if you are a mum, which let's face it, is still a very difficult job, but just without the income attached to it. Yeah, it's a poorly paid job. It's still a job and that's okay to be doing that job. Yes.
00:36:40
Speaker
Alrighty, so is there anything you semi-precious moment? No, I still haven't thought of anything. You haven't thought of anything. No. Have you thought of one? Well, I thought of one for you. Okay. Can I share it? Yeah. So in the last episode, you were talking about maybe getting your eyebrows tattooed. And I think that's a good idea because you really have really insignificant eyebrows. But just before, when you kind of stretched and touched your face, you wiped your eyebrow.
Funny Dog Story
00:37:07
Speaker
all the way up your face. Yeah. Well, this is why I needed to tattoo. And thankfully why we're also not videoing the entire. Yeah. So that's good. So now you have a giant brown angry line up your face and I've just been staring at it the whole time. Quite a while. You got to tell me that before we hit record on this episode. No, no, no. You did it just a moment ago in record. I think you're just validating the reason I need to get them tattooed.
00:37:30
Speaker
Yeah, I am. Okay. Anyway, mine was something that happened a couple of weeks ago. Really just a funny little story that I wanted to share, but it was awkward. I was walking my dog along a path next to my kids' school and a group of little girls were playing close by the fence.
00:37:50
Speaker
And I was talking on the phone to our mother, not really paying attention to what was happening. And my dog went over and cocked his leg with a boy dog onto the little girls playing on the other side of the fence wanting to pat him, which is just a wire fence. And he weighed on one of the little girls and I didn't know what to do. So I kind of pretended not to really notice and just walked away really quickly with my dog. That's bad, isn't it?
00:38:19
Speaker
Well, you know, I didn't know what I could really do. It was kind of just a little bit on her stockings and I walked away, but then I had to walk back as the bell was ringing and my daughter's class is right on the outside edge and the little girl seemed like she could have been about the same age as my daughter. So I tried to- It's probably in her class now. I know. And so my daughter saw me and started waving, mom, mom, hi, mom, that's my dog.
00:38:44
Speaker
And I just kind of ran away. And later that day, she said, Mommy, why didn't you stop and wave when I was outside the glass on the car? Honestly, I don't even know what to say to that. I don't know what to do. Hopefully she just took her stockings off and was just a little bit cold for the day. But I'm sorry to that little girl. I didn't
Teaser for Next Episode on Friendships
00:39:04
Speaker
know what else to do. I don't even think that's a semi precious moment. I feel like that's offensive that you're even trying to wedge it into this segment.
00:39:10
Speaker
I know. I said it was more like a little story. Yours was semi-precious because you have eyebrows halfway up your head. I would prefer my dodgy eyebrows to the dog wing on a girl story. So should we just delete it? Yeah, I think that bit is going to get edited out. Alrighty. We haven't discussed this, but I've decided on what episode six is going to be about. Oh, good. Go for it. Friendships.
00:39:35
Speaker
Oh, yeah. So friendships sort of as you get older, not going to define age, but just what happens to those friendships and how you bring back the fun. You sort of lose spontaneity with your friendships. Can you cut people loose? I want to go on a tangent now, but we're not going to. Cutting people loose and sort of the existential crisis that goes with friendships as you age. And being cut loose.
00:40:01
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Not fully. But no, there's a lot to talk about there. So if you'd like to listen to more of our ramblings, follow and subscribe on your podcast platform. Full word podcast. Full words. So thanks for listening. And until next time, embrace your uncut and unpolished selves. Bye.
00:40:26
Speaker
This podcast represents the personal opinions of Amber and Jade. No content should be taken as advice or recommendations.