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Arc 2 Episode 14 - The Vulcanburg College of Vulcanburg
50 Plays2 months ago
The crew is going to college where they meet the esteemed Proffesor Farnsworth. Hey wait. That name sounds familiar...
Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/user?u=60748541
Discord - https://discord.gg/A7NCWyPkSd
Dakota as the PM, DM, GM
Evelyn as Hikaru Hatsumi the Pikachu
Eli as Bruce Flameback the Cyndaquil
Shawn as Sammy Pepperoni the Munchlax
Jake as Walter Fisthands the Riolu
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Transcript
Humorous Introductions with Leafeon and Pineapples
00:00:11
Speaker
Hello, everyone, and welcome to a bathroom time. My name is Dakota, your PM, your damn museum, and sitting to my left is somebody who thinks that Leafeon is the best ebullition. Wait, I'm not to your left. It's me, Evelyn.
00:00:29
Speaker
And Discord, she is diagonally up and to the right. Well, in my Discord, she is actually to your left. Wait, hang on, let me look. Depends where you look at it.
00:00:41
Speaker
I got up for some reason. I don't know why I got up, but, uh, she is, let me look to your left from the computer. She is to your left. Well, well, the person is sitting either to my left or diagonally up into the right of me. I'm definitely not eating a Precious Cantaloupe right now. A cantaloupe. I thought you were eating a hairy pineapple. Oh, I ate that one already.
00:01:08
Speaker
Okay. We are professionals. I've been shown to less hairy pineapples. How was it? That's what professionals do. Very hairy. It's not the best hairy pineapple I've ever eaten, but if you want context for that, maybe go listen to Patreon. You'll only get a smidgen more context, but have fun.
Is a Calzone Just a Folded Pizza?
00:01:25
Speaker
Oh, it's pretty close there.
00:01:29
Speaker
Evelyn, you're up! I already introduced myself. Hi, I'm Evelyn. Um... Who else, though? And sitting... And sitting straight across from me is somebody who has a Star Polyhedron D20. Yeah, it's actually one of the coolest dice I own. Don't ask me how I actually read what number I rolled. It's not important. I'm Eli. just ah Just a genuine question. Is that ah one of those Japanese candy looking dice? Like they look like all spiky?
00:02:07
Speaker
Uh, maybe maybe a better comparison is like the uh star bits from mario galaxy I was thinking like a durian well so well the um the 20-sided uh star polyhedron looks like this i posted it in the discord looks like this for the audio for the audio podcast uh oh yep yep that's exactly what i was thinking okay yeah that is definitely a star bit i didn't know that it was actually real imagine imagine a star bit from super marty galaxy and that's what it looks like imagine galaxy two because that one's better
00:02:43
Speaker
that's right it looks nothing like the starish from gallics i know looks's exactly like the ones of galaxy two though completely different definitely not the exact same graph And to get us back on track, sitting kitty corner to my right is someone who believes that a calzone is a pizza.
Playful Banter Over Introductions
00:03:04
Speaker
Is it not? is It's basically a pizza. just ki Yeah, it's just a pizza like flopped. That's right. Hold on. Let's let us consult our pizza expert. Sean, would you like to enlighten us on the pizza research you have?
00:03:20
Speaker
so like when you go to the pizzeria there's like pizzas and then there's calzone like calzone is just like a pizza but like it's inside out so like they took the pizza and then they like flipped it inside out and they put all the gooey bits of the pizza like the cheese pepperoni and all the other things inside of the crust and then they put it in the oven it's like uh it's like a crunch wrap pizza Thank you. Thank you for the research directly from the field. Um, how the hell is going next? I don't remember. Um, the pieces shit. Who is that guy? Uh, well, I think I see him way over there. Way like 73 yards away from me. The hell are you doing over there? I'm just standing. What do you want? I actually got away from my desk.
00:04:08
Speaker
that mean you had to wait for your desk got away from his got from i got all Jumped off my chair and ran across the room fly so for a second as i said i have to wait all my desk What better question is what are you doing away from your desk? we're doing the intro cause he's seventy four today hang out are sea get me out the group He said I was fired
00:04:35
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. So, um, right with, uh, that all said, I think, I think that's everyone I always forget.
Dice Rolling Habits and Statistics
00:04:44
Speaker
Um, either way, if we miss someone, oh well. Anyway, let us all roll what you want for the recap. Who's in our party right now? So Selena. Uh, yes, Selena hasn't said her a bit, but she is tied under me. So I got a one. I got, I got a four.
00:05:03
Speaker
i get a warning i also got a four ah thank god the curse is broken dream is theirs is broken I got a 4-0. Oh my gosh! Three 4s and two 1s. I have to pull up the stats because we calculated it in the uh yeah here that's so I calculated it this is a post I made on September 8th. I post this in our private chats but I said okay I don't know how many times I've done the recap but I'm gonna make a small table here and below it put a small table.
00:05:37
Speaker
for the number of times that I've done a recap, and the odds of it happening, because I don't actually remember how many times I've done a recap. So if I did the recap five times, that's a 0.3% chance. If I've done the recap six times, that's a 0.1% chance.
00:05:54
Speaker
If I've done the recap seven times, that is a 0.034% chance. Eight times is 0.01%, and nine times is 0.0035%. And if I did it 10 times, which I don't think I did, it's 0.0001%. So I don't remember how many times I've done the recap, but those are the percentages we managed to calculate.
00:06:18
Speaker
also by the way i've forgotten to do it the last like three times we've recorded but thank you to mint for joining our patreon there's your patreon shout out i keep forgetting to do it i'm so sorry so thank you for joining our patreon at the gold tier i really do appreciate it you're literally the only one who's actually able to listen to the raw recording so thank you anyway with all that out of the way let's get to the recap evelyn it's on you And I hate the problem. I mean, I got four as well. I actually, I think Dakota, I think your math agrees with mine because i um I separately calculated that the number, that every time we roll dice, the probability that Dakota um gets a different number than all four of the rest of us is about 32%. Yes, that is exactly what I
Recap: Doorway McDoorface and Other Characters
00:07:12
Speaker
calculated. Yep. Yeah. Never take him to another casino.
00:07:17
Speaker
Yeah, and Dakota's been doing the recap more than 32% of the time. Yeah, definitely way below odds. How dare you, Dakota? Why don't you sh- It's not my fault. It's a mixture of the dice that Tupelo keeps throwing on the ground and Google dice for. Hey, now I just got it. Dice. That's it. That's that's what broke the curse. I'm finally using actual physical dice. I bought a Pax this time. Wait, you're letting your a cat roll for you. I mean, if I knew that Watson, do you want to roll the dice?
00:07:48
Speaker
no i'm saying they they've been sitting on the floor for like weeks on end and then i pick them up to roll them and they're just like so dirty that they're cursed but i get these brand new dice that i just rolled this d4 for the very first time and it broke my curse to blow curse them for you so i think that d4 might be spent but uh We'll see as the episode progresses. So what happened in the last episode? Because I genuinely don't remember. All right. its Well, you're lucky that I took notes last episode. Notes? What are those? Yeah. Nobody here grates those. We all should take what none of us do except for her. Oh, wait. yeah I don't have my character sheet open. Oh, so by the way, don't mind me eating dinner in the background. I didn't get a chance to eat today. We are professionals.
00:08:40
Speaker
I literally ate mine when the call started. So,
00:08:49
Speaker
last episode, according to my notes, Zekrong to join a GBA factory. it That's not inaccurate. That's kind of accurate.
00:09:04
Speaker
yeah it's not inaccurate yeah sadly five GBAs five GBAs prototype acts like a phone i love the way a boly takes her wait wait we should do this every time this is great your SMS need to take notes it just won't happen believe me thank yeah sms phone hologram calls map map and then and then in a column to the right of this can you get another one i'm cranking up so i don't even know why i'm laughing what did you say yeah i'm entitled for evelyn to recover herself
00:09:59
Speaker
it's this you Alright, so what else does your note say? Okay, um for some reason it also says Doorway McDoorface.
00:10:14
Speaker
No, I don't remember what that was about. Wait, hold on. Who was that? Somebody named, oh, the guard at the factory. I let somebody name it. And it was a Jolteon, I think, or a Flareon. And I could let you guys name it. It was like Dory McDorface or something like that. Maybe that was it. And then Reginald was there.
00:10:40
Speaker
I don't know. I thought that was just what we named the door. I don't know. I really don't know that Sammy and Walter retroactively changed that because I'm all for that. Does that mean that just necessarily want to change anything? So we should go listen to the episode afterward. I'm pretty sure it's the guard, but it'd be so funny if like specifically the left of those two doors that are the front doors of the GPA factory.
00:11:07
Speaker
is just named thorry mcthor face yeah at one door and not a single other door in the entire deday outcast
00:11:17
Speaker
Well, now that I've shooken my sillies out, um, I can do a series with that. Okay. So, um.
Planning Volkenburg College Visit with Humor
00:11:28
Speaker
So I'm guessing, what I think what happened was that um Miss Flameback had presented Zekrom with an offer to um join Flameback Enterprises as some employee at the GBA factory in Volkenburg.
00:11:50
Speaker
um And at the same time, she she gave each of us... Well, she gave us five GBAs, one for Selena, one for Bruce, one for Char, one for Sammy, and one for Walter. Wait, that means Brienne and Brienne Abyss didn't get any. I guess not. Miss Flambach recognized the main characters.
00:12:17
Speaker
Dang, they get the Walter treatment.
00:12:26
Speaker
yeah and After that, um the crew went to Hikaru's mom's house where Hikaru's mom was talking like a pirate. i and tried to freaking charge her daughter money for a TM. Geez. Bad parent. Jesus Christ. Bad parent. Oh, by the way, i havet I have a note on that. I just edited that episode pretty recently. um The part where I was talking like a pirate, I had to do some audio shenanigans because it flat topped so hard the entire time I did that.
00:13:04
Speaker
that I had to like completely redo some of the, ah not redo, but like ah completely fix some of the audio because like it was so horribly flat topping and audacity. It just sounded like static half the time. So. Oh my gosh. That's really funny. Anytime I do something loud, for sort of my microphone gain is way up and I can't figure out how to turn it down. but His pirate turned into Bane. Yeah. and then we through
00:13:34
Speaker
I was born in the darkness. You were mainly raised in it. I was born on a pirate ship, yarrr. I was born in the water, yarrr. I was born in the Black Pearl. You mainly occupy it. Okay, I'll blinko on. Anyway, also Sammy bought a pair of Heelys, I think.
00:14:01
Speaker
i yeah the healy t carro bought them ah help shahikara helped by them yeah Yeah, I learned him money. yeah ah and put the so it was Which implies I owe her money now. Yeah, money or a favor of some sort. We'll we'll we'll talk about that in character later.
00:14:26
Speaker
She's a loan shark. She did learn a thing or two from like
00:14:39
Speaker
doing accounting of the store. Oh. Anyway. Anyway, then we got on the train to Volkenburg and Sammy tried to punch one of the support beams on the train. I still don't really know why I did that. It's just kind of an overwhelming urge, I guess. So mysterious. Been there. we'll see what We'll see what that's all about.
00:15:06
Speaker
And then we arrived in at the train station in the central business district of Volkenburg. And we we made a left and then and then another left to the factory. I don't know how many left there were. I don't know. But there was. pass swear Yeah. But anyway, there was a Jolteon guard.
00:15:37
Speaker
um and yeah um and then and then the plant manager was an execute uh an alolan executor named reginald almost said executive there i mean no not wrong i guess it's an executive executor yeah there you go I mean, he kind of is, yeah. Executive tour. Yeah. And then and then um and then Zekrom followed Reginald into the factory with Reginald's headstock trailing behind him. Oh, Nick.
00:16:22
Speaker
Yeah, yeah is yeah his head stuck His his tree trunk leg has tree trunk neck hundred sorry Yeah, Reginald Reginald's long ass neck which is How long is that? He's 36 feet yeah they're like 36 feet tall yeah yeah it was like 30 some feet or something like that yeah uh i can tell you now um 35 feet 9 inches or 10.9 meters there you go yeah
00:17:07
Speaker
Yeah, and as we are leaving the college, ah not the college, the factory, we see, um, Volkenburg College of Volkenburg in the distance, and that's where we left off. Alright. This is the most fun I've had in a recap in a long time. Yep. Please tell me the college is a dungeon.
00:17:35
Speaker
Oh my god, I didn't even think about that. Don't you dare plant that seed into my head. Don't turn out so badly. and where the classroom the academic Where are the Where are the classrooms? Welcome to your final exam, students. The lesson is survive. That has got to be the worst thing ever, man. The dungeons change every time you go into them.
Navigating Volkenburg College and Meeting Vaporeon
00:17:58
Speaker
I'm late for class? Where's the damn classroom? Why is the classroom? By the way, not sure what not sure what ideas you had for the for the layout of the college, but I spent five years on a college campus. I won't say where, but um it had ah it had a number of gorges. And there were a lot of- I will cry my hardest not to mention any gorges.
00:18:28
Speaker
There were a lot of gorge trails where they're with great, um, I'm trying to tell the hell a gorge trail is. What is any of the gorge? Well, I've heard the word before i've heard a word I've heard in like a decade.
00:18:51
Speaker
gourd's trail is just the trail like usually we say that you are sometimes in the stream at the bottom of a gorge what is a gorge a gorge is a narrow deep valley with steep sides that is usually formed by a river or stream so basically evelyn saying that her college was we're smacked up in the middle of a river It was in the middle of two rivers. Oh, okay. It was in the intersection of two rivers. So like you just like zoom into Evelyn's College and you look at the classroom. It's like a normal math class, except that everyone's drowning always. And there's just water flooding in always. And there's like 30 feet of water covering the campus. So that was Evelyn's College experience.
00:19:37
Speaker
That's about right. College is also at the top of a hill. uh right no no it was at the bottom it was in the river definitely it was also on top of a hill yeah in the river right yeah the hill in the river what hill in the river not the river on the hill the hill in the river the riverner on the hill that's not how rivers work all we got stop my head's hurting
00:20:08
Speaker
okay we do we gotta get as the episode spent like how long have we spent on the episode i just close audass and a it advice You just get an equity minute yeah just get an extra crunchy beefy intro this kind okay cool great we got an hour to record cool great okay anyway you guys ready to jump on in sean we need a random move i was too busy listening to the recap i'm sorry hang on
00:20:52
Speaker
here all right scoop scoobity-doo is that the move no i have no idea what's going on right now oh what is this i think i think i just opened the coding okay i found the website here what did you open it uh inspect mode or it control i or whatever it's called inspect element um we're gonna water spout on in Hooray! We are going to water spouts on an oddly... Crap, I forgot the word. Oddly succinct for what we were just talking about. Related! There we go! Water spouts the powerful one. What? Water spouts the powerful one. That one is more. It can be powerful. Water spout is horrible. What is water spout?
00:21:48
Speaker
water spout is the water type eruption where it starts out at 150 base power i just typed in water spout expecting the move i forgot it's not a pokemon thing uh 150 base power what the hell but only we're going on a water slide guys whoosh hold on in one second the power decreases to lower the percentage of your hp you're at It's a watertight eruption.
00:22:18
Speaker
yes people Are quite nibbling my to ioo belongs number wrong ah you guys ready to hop on in? I mean, when water spouts on in? Been ready. You're yeah you're the VM. All right, let us water spouts on in. Hadoosh!
00:22:38
Speaker
So you guys um are on the road away, leading away from the GBA factory. And you guys stumble over, I think it was Evelyn that pointed out the billboard or like the sign that said like this way to the College of Volkenberg College of, what? The College of College.
00:23:01
Speaker
Say one more time. One more time. I think I said the college, Volkenberg College or something. The Volkenberg College of Volkenberg. You see a sign pointing down the road. Either that or you just see the college. Either way, you guys are now at the college because I'm assuming that's the way you guys want to go. A slight correction. Hikaru saw the sign.
00:23:29
Speaker
Evelyn didn't see it. I can't see anything in this world. I'm over here in the real world. Right. Funny if Evelyn actually saw that in the real world with her specialized. OK, yeah. So you guys see the sign. I'm assuming. Oh, my gosh. It's Volkenburg College of Volkenburg. Tupelo has something to say about that. And then she's just like jumping in place and then she just like. Runs way ahead of them.
00:24:00
Speaker
Wow, Volcamburg College of Volcamburg? Who knew Volcamburg had a cause named Volcamburg? Wow, what a great place, Volcamburg College of Volcamburg. You know, perhaps I should start looking into going to college. I do kind of want to own my own business someday. Maybe I should start looking. Maybe I should go in there and apply myself. Maybe you can win an ice cream. What the hell tonight? I don't know what an ice cream is. Just stick the word, mate.
00:24:29
Speaker
Walter is putting on a happy face because Hikaru likes college. He hates it. Okay, I was gonna say, you guys sound like an early 2000s college commercial. I was like, oh boy, the college is a poker bird? My favorite place to be. And Walter has to go to college.
00:24:49
Speaker
And Walter's just fake being happy for Hikaru. yeah i was wondering if that was actually gonna come up because i do remember that walter hates college or school specifically yes yes yes indeed he liked it better than being at home but he still didn't like it well now he doesn't have to worry about that so i'm sorry okay okay Okay, okay So what all did we have to do with this Falkenberg College Falkenberg again? I know I wanted to learn full tackle. Was there anything else we had to do there?
00:25:40
Speaker
I think all I think the movies oh the book yeah yeah yeah yes yes mrs. playing back somebody at this at the school this is season one stuff oh crap did she oh no oh i I think she said either someone at the school or someone or Blair she said both she said this person at school or Blair Yeah, it might be. I always imagine you guys going to Blair, but... um It was originally Blair, and then Ms. Blaineback told us about a professor at the college that we could also go to.
00:26:21
Speaker
Right, definitely not going to be creating a thousand more things up the top of my head today. Hikaru is like 50 paces ahead of the rest of them now and she she realizes that she kind of forgot that she kind of forgot that they needed to
00:26:43
Speaker
that she's the one she's the one holding the copy of Elgium's Guide to the Galaxy, and they need it and the crew needs to go together to to learn more about that book. So she turns around and goes back to... It's okay. so Okay. It's okay. Sammy skates up after you. And then maybe we bump into each other? Walter Dogg runs towards you.
00:27:12
Speaker
What's her dog? What's her dog? Wanna roll to see if we, uh, if we bump into each other? What's it called?
00:27:22
Speaker
Hell yeah. Sure, sure. For fun. Do it next day. Everyone do it next day. It's the Fender. No. It's the Fender we're not talking about. Bruce is just walking casually behind them still. Like, he'll catch up. Bruce is except. Then Bruce is except. Alright, uh, what's that under again? That's cool.
00:27:58
Speaker
How am I supposed to do that? Everyone's just walking normally and Hikaru just trips on her face. her She's running on all fours. She just slips on a rock and lifelip on banana fuel lands on her lands like face plants on her face on her head and then rolls over on her onto her back.
00:28:37
Speaker
Over you you see a ah you see a Vaporeon looking over your head. you He's like a Regular around here. What are you doing? I
00:29:04
Speaker
you're close if you can say this he is wearing a uh university of volkenberg oh by the way on i accidentally rolled a d12 did they rebrand i'm just abbreviating it because i don't want to say volkenberg college of volkenberg every single time Why not, Volkenburg College of Volkenburg? I guess that's a great word. Volkenburg College of Volkenburg. Oh my god, Jason. Why would I show you that Volkenburg College of Volkenburg? It's just a great place. It sounds like he's really enjoying the Volkenburg College of Volkenburg. You guys look over at Walter, and he just has the biggest smile you've ever seen on his face. It is definitely not fake in the slightest. Okay.
00:29:48
Speaker
i love the volkeberg call
00:29:53
Speaker
You're trying to say it too fast, Jake. Come on now. Okay. So you guys, um, catch up to Hikaru, and yes, there's indeed a, uh, Vaporeon standing over Hikaru as she has fallen clearly not okay.
00:30:16
Speaker
Who's this guy? Who is this guy? Yeah, yeah, uh, who are you?
00:30:25
Speaker
Oh, I'm studying here for archaeology, actually. um I'm a junior over in the archaeological dickside there on the edge of town, and he points like to the edge of town from where you guys came, basically. Or in several directions, I don't know. I don't have a map of Oldenburg. He points to the edge of the city, and he's like, yeah, there's an archaeological dickside over there. I'm helping my dad out over there, and I am studying here to become a little bit better at it.
00:31:02
Speaker
i i didn't transfer this is just i graduated from college or a high school class you're sorry i'm so nervous uh um you just said he's a junior yeah i i i i oh so i mean or freshtra as i'm like i'm new here i'm a freshman here but not not a junior i mean i'm junior esly like i'm really new sorry well isn't summer like my back Are you are you a you're an incoming freshman, too?
00:31:34
Speaker
Oh, no, no, I just came here to do some paperwork with Professor Serge real quick. Because, yeah, I am. I've already been accepted. All the acceptance letters already went out. But I i just came to talk to Professor Serge, who's going to be my mentor. Oh, Professor Serge. He's a really cool guy. Where is What are you doing here?
00:31:58
Speaker
We're here for two things. I heard there was a professor here who good teach who could teach me Volt Tackle, which is a signature move of the Pikachu line.
00:32:15
Speaker
I don't know if any of you moved to this year, but I bet Professor Serge might be able to. And we also wanted to learn, um we also wanted to see if we could find like a history professor here to help us with a research project. A history professor.
00:32:40
Speaker
uh i mean i'm not too familiar with all the professors or anything because i'm new myself i've literally only been on the campus a couple days but uh um i think if you i think there might be like a uh kangus con here that goes by the name of professor farnsworth you might be able to help you wait that name sounds familiar we had a we didn't we have a teacher back home with the mr farnsworth oh no yeah we did that was our science no that was our history teacher did he get promoted did he get a new job or something maybe we some maybe it's his brother
00:33:30
Speaker
I don't know. I haven't met him specifically. He was just on the list of teachers that I got on my enrollment paperwork Also, I just by the way to go to here. I just want to preface I've taken ah like I have a kind a bunch of college credits myself, but I've taken them all online I have never stepped foot in a college before so So I hope this imagery is up to scratch. Doesn't know how to college I mean I've been on a college before but I've never actually like gone to college because we like used our local college for like their sports stuff.
00:34:14
Speaker
Anyway, the name's Rigel, by the way. If you talk to the front desk, they might be able to help you. And he gestures over to the front doors of the ah college. you can see Nice to meet you, Rigel. No, it looks very welcoming. It's a ah big brick building with glass windows, basically like just the stereotypical college. Imagine a...
00:34:41
Speaker
I don't have any comparisons. I told you I've never actually been to a college. Imagine a smith building with glass windows. What are you? Sorry. My cat just broke some styrofoam in my closet. Imagine a Catholic school. I don't know what he said. Except not that. I had one that looked just like that. Yeah, so it's just a big brick building. Looks like it was built during the 1800s or something like that. And it's just a big college.
00:35:09
Speaker
And Rigel's like, uh, yeah, uh, nice to meet you too. I gotta, I gotta, I gotta go home and have
00:35:25
Speaker
Pleasure meeting you, man. Oh man, I think I need to teach myself for that guy. Bye, Rigel. Good, good meeting you, I guess. He, he puts a paw up as he leaves. As if to say hello or goodbye or whatever.
00:35:39
Speaker
And at this point, Bruce finally walks up. What, because it's a water type? No, because he didn't run like the rest of us. No, he was behind. Oh, you weren't that far. I said you guys caught up with Hikaru. Uh, darn. I said you guys caught up and saw the Vaporeon standing over Hikaru. Oh, right. Darn.
00:36:01
Speaker
aorn I was thinking because I was thinking that the car we made it like two-thirds of the way back and then Sammy and Walter we're running up still 50 paces for Pikachu is like two feet Sammy's on wheels now so he'll take any chance you can to go fast
00:36:29
Speaker
so um guys you guys know that i'm gonna stay out here i'm i'm not i'm not the other door yeah well we'll keep you away from the doors walter that's not a bad idea we don't need you breaking any of the school doors walter's gonna look for a tree like the like the classic college like movies tree that that you play some instrument under he's going on there just gonna play music okay so walta's gonna go find a tree underneath the table and for the time a tree hey guys wait you said a tree under a table what dick what did i say no you said walta's gonna find a tree under a table did i say yes yeah you did yeah so i'm sorry i'm really tired i just got i literally got a really small tree or a really tall table
00:37:22
Speaker
world's world's largest table i'm trying so okay so the way i'm trying to do this is i'm trying to plan what's going to happen in the next scenario as i'm talking so i'm trying to focus on both what the hell jake's are doing and what the hell you guys are doing at the exact same time and i think i must have was thinking something about a table and then boom able saying that it's like um what's that game uh scribble knots he writes table and boom a table just appears in the game in the in the world basically yeah so i'm sorry i'm so tired right now i've been away super scribble knots and wrote big table big we from a tree size an i table big table suddenly it's bigger than the tree
00:38:12
Speaker
so yeah jake goes jake god damn it water hey water holy fuck waltzer goes and sits under a goddamn tree there's no tables in sight are you happy jake yeah i'm good are you happy and i
Walter's Musical Interlude
00:38:29
Speaker
don't know if i have any sanity left guys are walking in
00:38:38
Speaker
Okay. So while, since Walter is going to be outside, what we're going to do is for, um, once you guys walk away, I'm going to mute and deaf and Jake. Oh boy. You will not know anything that happens on the inside. You chose this. He's going to have to do that himself, isn't he? If he can, but he could also server mute him. You can just boot him from the, Oh, he's already going in that brick building. Oh, there we go.
00:39:08
Speaker
Okay, Jake has been muted.
00:39:13
Speaker
Well, like, now that Walter's gone, it's kind of like, uh... Well, you know, that one time when Walter was knocked out, yeah. Well, no, I mean like, Walter was kind of knocked out a few times, so it's like sometimes we have to do stuff without him, you know? He was always there, you just kind of forgot about him, Bruce. Oh, fair enough.
00:39:36
Speaker
okay so what are you guys doing you guys are leaving Walter behind are you all going to the college i'm assuming yeah yeah Evelyn just stays outside okay so as you guys walk up to the college there's it's a nice cobblestone walkway with a brush on either either side and as you guys walk up there's like a march where you guys walk through or whatever More scenery things just imagine more scenery more stuff more decorations blah blah blah blah blah you guys get to the front of a college and you guys open the doors after it's going up the stone steps because of course Can't take off a single Pokemon. Oh god hurtier
00:40:30
Speaker
uh there's a herd here sitting at the front desk i literally could not think of anything like holy crap uh you guys see a herd here at the front oh yeah you got your acceptance paperwork i'm assuming uh oh i don't have it with me i'm sorry all right can i see it um
00:40:57
Speaker
um well i guess hold up hold up hold up um what i can just give you my name and you can check um you can check the records i'm i'm hikaru hatsumi i do i do before we continue i do want to uh clarify so did are you deciding to take a gap here or are you trying to join college because oh it starts next week next week that's basically how i've been thinking about it i i don't know the exact timetable but it's well let's see hang on if we like i want to assume we've been doing this shit for like a month in game wise assume that because of all the like
00:41:43
Speaker
so it's probably about july or august it's been about it's probably about july or august have we progressed time faster than art of scratch has in six arcs then they meet in question and we did that in two arcs we've had to do a lot of sleeping in place no so it's definitely longer than we did this math before i don't remember it's been longer than two weeks because we've stayed in like three weeks we stayed in hawkeye for four days we went to this one place i listen to the last episode we already broke it down we already broke it down it's like something i don't know it's all i'm trying to say there should be at least a month before college starts though assuming college starts like middle to end of august but yeah the reason i'm bringing it up is because i can't have evan joining college right in the middle of the campaign
00:42:33
Speaker
so i i don't know if you just want to make a simple and take a gap year that's fine i don't it's i'm not trying to change that one's backstory or anything but you obviously be yeah yeah it would i'm i'm assuming i mean i would say hikaru is taking a gap year but her name is you know she is technically and like she's yeah she's technically she already applied and got accepted but she's not yeah that's like she's on leave until she decides to mature you know do her first semester there okay
00:43:12
Speaker
Okay, cool. So we'll go with that, I guess. Uh, so to her to your, um... Yeah, what's your name? Um...
00:43:24
Speaker
okay and he types this into nothing because he doesn't have a computer so he actually just looks at his papers that he has on his desk no i'm not making that same mistake again well she wasn't supposed to the uh the s the uh sylvian was not supposed to have a gpa so we'll see what happens with that still don't have a plan for that but um so uh he raffles around his leg uh hh h found it uh it says pending here so whoever was yeah yeah i'm taking again taking a gap here then
00:44:15
Speaker
Yeah, you'll get your acceptance letter the year before you join, so if you apply it, ask it for a caption. Okay, I mean, I thought I had already been accepted. You were? I don't know, because I don't remember the last episodes or whatever. It was said before, I don't remember.
00:44:34
Speaker
I think it was dated back in Arch I that Hikaru had received her acceptance letter. Well, no, Evelyn and... The acceptance letters usually come in in, like, April and then you just decide... Yeah, and then you decide to take a gap here. You, like, commit to the school in May.
00:44:53
Speaker
Either way, it's not going to affect the story, so the reporter is just like, sorry, after front-end expecting, actually, it says accepted. How weird, I could've sworn it said pending five seconds ago. Anyway, what do you want? I was looking for, actually, we're looking for two things.
00:45:11
Speaker
um so So the first thing I'm looking for is... I'm wondering if there's... I've heard that there was a professor here who who knew Volt Tackle and could teach it to me.
00:45:28
Speaker
I don't know. I mean, we have the move tutor, but he's not exactly at the college right now. Only our main professor... Who's the move tutor?
00:46:08
Speaker
ah volt tackle the closest thing i can think of is maybe professor serge he's an electric guy being a red tune and all
00:46:20
Speaker
the archeological Oh my gosh, Hikaru's eyes light up. yeah Yeah, okay, that okay that um sounds really promising. I think we could... I think i think he would be the right um the right person to talk to. um Yeah, the heard ear looks at you and is
00:46:48
Speaker
um and with this uh you guys look behind you and you just hear a bang as the doors slam open you guys don't initially see anything but you look down and there's this tiny little emolga standing in the doorway have who has a satchel and And it is the male-carrying Mulga from last time. And she's like, haha, I made it in time! And she's holding up a letter. And she waddles up to the desk, flutters up to the desk, i guess because she's so incredibly tiny. And she's like, I have a letter for Mr. Herdier. And I take that as you. And she hands him the letter. And he's like, uh...
00:47:32
Speaker
Okay, thank you, i I guess and he takes the letter The Emolga leaves her name is Horiza. I don't remember if I've said that before she says Oh, by the way, my name is Horiza because I don't remember if I said that before and she hurries out the door because she has so many more letters to deliver The her dear slight. Well, that was weird, I guess. Okay I guess I'll take a look at this letter and he opens up the letter and he reads out loud. It is I, the move tutor! I will be back in town sooner than expected. By the way, this is the voice of the move tutor. It has come upon me that I no longer need my insert reason here and I will be back at the college in exactly two seconds.
00:48:23
Speaker
and two seconds pass and you guys hear a bang and the door slam open and you guys see a ditto standing on the doorway. And he says, it is I have to move to it. I am back for I have heard that you needed my services. Wherever my services are needed, I will be there.
00:48:43
Speaker
And he looks at Hikaru dead in the eyes. And he's like, I take it it is you who needed my services. My in insane insight tells me so. Hi. That'd be me. Ah, yes. I smelled that from all the way over in a town named Mapleville where I was for some reason. That's pretty far from here, huh?
00:49:13
Speaker
Uh, did you need to speak to me? ah Something like that, I don't know. Uh, yeah. Um, uh, yeah, Mr. Movedhooter. Did you need me? Yes. I, um, have been interested in learning Volt Tackle. I see Volt Tackle does. Hmm. And you see him start to change shape and he changes into a right trip.
00:49:40
Speaker
but his eyes and mouth look extremely strange to you. Yep. It is a Volt Tackle that you need, is it?
00:49:51
Speaker
And he charges up a Volt Tackle, and I'm actually gonna roll a d20 for this. Uh, she rolled a 3, so just nothing happens. He tries charging up a Volt Tackle, and it looks like he's trying to push out a really hard fart.
00:50:08
Speaker
sorry so Sorry about that. That can happen sometimes. Let me try it again. And he rolls a d20, gets a 14, and a bunch of electricity shoots out of him and he starts zipping around the room really fast. Is this the move we were looking for?
00:50:30
Speaker
Oh, praise be, in that case, for a small, small fee of 10,000 poke, I can teach you this. Ah, 10,000... um, unfortunately I only have 4,000 poke, see, this is indeed unfortunate. By the way, you may refer to me as Baka.
00:50:59
Speaker
Indeed, it has no other meaning not to not look into it. Well, nice to meet you, Professor Baka. Sure. And thank you for, you know... i'll definitely ah I'll definitely come back to you if I um have the money.
00:51:23
Speaker
Ah, I see, I see. Just... Just, just, uh, jeez, that sounds wrong. I'm gonna say it anyway. Just to desire me and I shall appear. I will smell your desire from miles away and I will appear wherever I am needed. Ta-ta! And he zipped out of the college. Slamming the doors behind him.
00:51:56
Speaker
Might I suggest that he just has some like insane insight like beauty score for insight? he so he' have new but for His beauty modifier is like a plus 20. Also there's exactly one person in the discord that's gonna get this but that is based off of a player character I actually tried to play in a one shot a long time ago by the way.
00:52:23
Speaker
I tried playing a character like that and it did not turn out well so I tried it. Okay so what are you guys doing now?
00:52:39
Speaker
Well, I was gonna say that, uh, Hikaru could go off and learn full tackle while the rest, while me and Sammy go check out the history professor with our book. I guess so, yeah. I guess he can come with us now. She says.
00:53:01
Speaker
so uh can you tell us uh now talking to the herdier can you tell us where the uh professor Farnsworth is ah yes professor Farnsworth wait wrong voice shit oops sorry i was texting so i wasn't thinking uh sorry i don't know one came over me ah professor farns yeah he's looking at his papers like ah
00:53:33
Speaker
yeah she some he is should be a probably in his office on the second story and he points down the corridor and you see a sign that says staircase
00:53:45
Speaker
can Can you tell us what room he's in so we don't have to just wander around? all right yeah you're right his uh office is not the entire dude second story it is room too easy to remember thank you thank you very much yep off we go i i had a question um okay yep yes yes what question do you have do you guys are like Have like a food thing. Is there like a cafeteria? Do you sell food in the bookstore? Just wondering if the guys like sell pizza or do you need a pizza vendor or something? Because my family runs a pizzeria and maybe we could like do like an agreement and like sell pizzas in your in your store. Do you find that a little thing?
00:54:27
Speaker
hmm you'll have to talk to the principal in question mark and the head master either Dean or president Yes, you'll have to talk to the dining man. You'll have to talk to
Meeting Professor Farnsworth and Book Discussion
00:54:50
Speaker
the dining man. His name is is Dan, the dining man. Dan, in the dining man. All right. Cool. I'll remember that. He manages the cafeteria. say Oh, fuck. Sorry to hurt myself. You might have to talk to him and he might be able to strike up a deal with you, either that or bring it up with the headmaster. All right. Thanks. Thanks for the chat. All right. Yeah, of course.
00:55:17
Speaker
rippers and he goes back to sorting his paperwork and I'm going upstairs well where are you guys going actually yeah we're going we're going up the stairs to room 202 okay uh so you guys head up the stairs they're very nice marble stairs With marble hand-reeling. I don't know if you can even make a hand-reeling of marble, but this one is You guys had upstairs is very nice. I'll send you doing with these stairs. Oh, yeah ah The if you try doing anything on these stairs same is going to roll this advantage, so maybe we don't try anything Well, we're going up the stairs. I can't roll out. I can't defense curl up the stairs think you kind of wouldn't Do anything
00:56:08
Speaker
Just every step of protective bubble appears around Sammy for no apparent reason. Anyway, you guys get upstairs and you eventually find room 202 after some wandering around. And you see a sign on it that says Professor Serge.
00:56:24
Speaker
so So... Professor... What? Professor Farnsworth. I thought you guys were... Wait, are you guys looking for Professor Serge or Professor Farnsworth? We were looking for the history, Professor.
00:56:38
Speaker
We're looking for the Professor Farnsworth to talk to us more. Right. Sorry. No, no. That's a lapse on my behalf. No, you're right. He doesn't need surgery anymore. So, Mr. Sir... What am I saying? The sign no longer reads Professor Sirs. It just says Professor Farnsworth, because I don't need you guys wandering around anymore. You guys come across the room 202, and it says Professor Farnsworth. So, I go up and knock on the door?
00:57:09
Speaker
Hello, everyone, and thank you for joining our midsection. I am Dakota, your PM, your DM, your GM. If you want to hear more from us, go join our Discord, which should be linked down below. We also have a Patreon you can follow if you'd like to support the show in any way. We've got a lot of stuff there, like raw recordings, funny moments, and cut bits that didn't quite make it into the show. If you're interested in that, go check out the link below. Right, the music for this episode, we have Minimo City, Kotaki Town.
00:57:51
Speaker
All right, you knock on the door. You hear some shuffling around. You hear, uh, some, you hear, ugh, hold on! Let me get my slippers on! Ugh!
00:58:05
Speaker
And you hear a loud crash as something that hits the floor. Oh dear, I seem to have fallen and can't get up. Help me, Jairus! The door is unlocked!
00:58:17
Speaker
Oh my gosh. And then Hikaru pushes the door open. You open the door and what you see is a very old male Kangaskhan on the ground.
00:58:27
Speaker
Uh, and he's like twitching slightly. He's like, oh, I seem to have fallen and can't get up. Please. I need assistance.
00:58:39
Speaker
Please. So we go assist him. We go, we go try to like prop him up. Okay. I need you guys to roll strength because a King is gone as a heavy Pokemon. So, uh, Bruce roll strength, I guess, since you spoke first.
00:59:01
Speaker
brute Bruce ain't picking up any Kangaskhan. That is a 2 plus 1, 3. Okay, is anyone else assisted? Yeah, I'll help. 16 plus 1 is 17.
00:59:13
Speaker
Alright so yeah Sammy gets over there and just like with one finger goes up he goes. So Mr. Farnsworth, Professor Farnsworth I should say, gets up and he's like, oh thank you my laddie. I have iris for some reason now. Anyway, i I don't think school has started yet. Has it been a week already?
00:59:36
Speaker
Oh, I can't read the clock across the room. The date's not even on the clock. Where's my calendar? Can you help me find my- Actually, just tell me. Has it been a week? ah A week since what, my my dude? Oh, sorry. My mind's feeble and broken. I- Oh, right. i'm I'm in a classroom. Uh, I should've- Oh, wait, no. This is my office, not a classroom.
01:00:06
Speaker
oh I don't say anything like, do you need to go lay down or something? I think the fall might have broken my brain a bit more than it was before, but I'm fine. I fall on an awful lot in my time, like I'm a big boy and I don't like doing stairs. I get that, yeah. I don't remember school starting. I take it you guys are visitors? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we've got a book that we want you to take a look at.
01:00:35
Speaker
One at a time, I didn't hear you guys. I'm a new student.
01:00:41
Speaker
Please repeat yourself. The DM didn't hear a damn thing he said. Okay. I'm a new student. My name's Hikaru. Hello, Shimaru. My name is Professor, uh, Farnsworth. And we're we're just visitors. we We wanted you to take a look at a book, see what you could make of it.
01:01:04
Speaker
okay you what book is this little orange fellow it's um it's elgium's guide to the galaxy guide to the galaxy that sounds vaguely familiar uh may i see it do you guys have it um yeah i've got a copy of it with me oh yes can i see it shikaru
01:01:36
Speaker
Yep, right pulls it out of her backpack. Okay, so he takes the book and he takes a look at it. He's like, oh my god, it's the book. I've been looking for this book for decades. we I mean, exactly eight years. ah Where did you find this? Well, this is just a copy of the book.
01:01:59
Speaker
so oh yeah i have no i actually don't really know who got i i just picked up the i just picked up this copy of it in you know room somewhere deception oh no i'm gonna have to roll inside with disadvantage this is my disfeeble and broken deception is no idea cute cute yeah nobody asked you to come in plus one Q ah I got a four no no three plus one oh he got an eight
01:02:43
Speaker
So he looks, he's like, hmm, I've taught many a student here, believe me, I can see when somebody is cheating or lying. Now if he, because ah this the orange guy right here, he pats you on that, he pats Bruce on the head. He just told me that this was a copy. If you guys have a copy, then you must know where the original is. If you guys knew it was a copy.
01:03:12
Speaker
Well, I was telling- That's not exactly how copies work, though. I mean, to be honest, I was telling the truth. Yeah. Be quiet, little blue guy. I know what I'm talking about. I think- Not exactly. Like, the copy could be found completely separately from the original. But also, like, doesn't the college have a library? Aren't libraries just full of copies of books? Like, they don't have just exact first editions.
01:03:42
Speaker
not always our library contains many originals of the likes of like uh certain authors uh anyway um shake spherical no no go on what what else what else do you have that one yep that one anyway about this book Uh, I'm very curious to see you to know where the original is, but a copy is like, I hope it is, uh, very similar to the original.
01:04:20
Speaker
we We wouldn't know like, to be honest, we never even looked at the original. He narrows his eyes at you and he's like, fair enough. her enough okay let me see this book oh oh wait i'm holding it oh sorry oh anyway let me see this book he says as he always starts opening it he rifles through the pages and you see the pictures with the words and the strange language you do not recognize he's like my goodness just as the old language actually known as
01:05:02
Speaker
this
01:05:05
Speaker
and it' soon the oldest or oddish i don't remember It's one of the two anyway oh notish ones a You you used to be an oddest one not no i I said I know an odd okay all right mr. odd as you sit down there i'm gonna take a look at this book and he uh just like rifles through the book he puts on his second pair of reading glasses over his first ones and uh he
01:05:36
Speaker
He's like, interesting, interesting. This will take me probably exactly three days to decipher. That should give the DM plenty of time to figure out what the hell is going on with this book. ah ah Anyway, is there anything else you guys need?
01:05:55
Speaker
um No, thank you. We really appreciate your help. Is there anything I can do to keep this by any chance?
01:06:07
Speaker
to keep this um well it is a copy so we could go down to the library and make another copy for you a copy of a copy but that's one step further away from the original i would rather not if possible we could always keep the copy of the copy what both my ears don't work i can only hear one person at a time
01:06:36
Speaker
Okay, well we can either we can either make a copy of it and give that to you, or we can make the copy of it and keep the copy ourselves and give you this copy.
01:06:49
Speaker
I see, I see. Right. We can give it to you. So we can give you the original copy. The original copy for 6,000, okay? Or we can give you the copy of the copy for 2,000, okay? I find bargain, I must say. 6,000, you say. That is a deal.
01:07:08
Speaker
Now, I will decipher this and find out if it is worth that 6,000 before making this deal. If it is not, I will return this to you in prompt time. I mean, due time. I know how English works, I think. Right, um... So we still need it to make that copy though, so... Uh, if I deem it worthy of 6,000, okay.
01:07:35
Speaker
uh then i will have you guys make a copy and then and only then we can make the transaction well i mean like i unless you're gonna okay like determine if it's worth the six thousand poke while we're standing here waiting for you it'll take me exactly three days to figure that out so if it was to stand here for three days which Or we can take that copy back for about like 10-15 minutes, go to the library, make our copy of the copy, and then give you this one back. No, because I actually don't know if this is worth $6,000. I could be rubbish for all I know. What if this is a cookbook by some random chance? It would never be worth $6,000.
01:08:32
Speaker
once i figure out what is inside these books i shall determine it's worth i heard the original book was worth like a million poke wasn't it or something ridiculous did you what wait what that it was worth a million did you he says squinting his eyes at you or so it was some ridiculous number I'm sure it was more accurate than you both than you think. It is one of the rarest books in all of Alcast. Wow, I almost had alligators, yeah. This isn't that book, seriously. Anyway, oh give me three minutes or take it back. I mean, three days.
01:09:24
Speaker
this This voice I was doing is actually hurting my throat. so It sounds like it. It's actually dragging on my throat. ah Right, ah you guys can take it back if you wish, but if you wish for me to decipher it, it will take me exactly three days.
01:09:43
Speaker
okay um we have a deal um hikaru takes a piece of paper out of hammer space and draws up a draws up a contract that says that says everything we just discussed like we will that you know you have the option to buy the original copy from us first i need you to i need you to state the contract out loud because okay, um well for no reason, stated out loud. Okay. If we're actually gonna sell him a copy, don't you think we should like charge a bit more for this this copy of this legendary book?
01:10:30
Speaker
Hmm, okay. Hmm.
01:10:38
Speaker
okay how would okay would you pay would you pay 16 000 poke for the original copy that is not our original deal now was it okay uh eight thousand you'll have to roll a persuasion check against me my laddie uh i'm gonna have you roll persuasion against his two ins ten thousand We throw in the book and I make you a delicious pizza pizza you say What did you roll
01:11:24
Speaker
i some you got now one
01:11:28
Speaker
I'm gonna just send a picture of this to the group chat. I hope.
01:11:40
Speaker
i hope
01:11:45
Speaker
That'd be really funny if it was just something random like a 10. oh okay well that is a picture of a blue dice with the yellow lettering on a wooden table uh i can see part of a macbook corner i recognize that uh it's got a little black stripe on it it's a nice little curved corner of a macbook there it's got a little bit of shadow on the table where you can see the camera was uh also by the way that's a nat 20 so um mr professor farms was like
01:12:17
Speaker
I actually, on further thought, create a contract for me, and no matter what it says, I will do that because I'm stupid and feeble, and ah yes. I vote for 20,000.
01:12:34
Speaker
As long as it's not some sort of game-breaking number, obviously. Yeah, so like 20,000. 20 million, you said? Sounds like a deal to me. I'm kidding.
01:12:47
Speaker
That would be a game-breaking number right there. That would be. Okay, so Hikaru's gonna draw up an option contract, which means that um the contract grants Professor Farnsworth um better choose your words wisely possession of possession of the book for the next three days in order to appraise the book and study it and
01:13:25
Speaker
we and the professor you know agrees to tell us what he learns about about its contents um and then on the third on the third day the professor has uh we will uh the professor has the right to buy the original copy from us for 20 000 poke um And we will we will make an original... um if he choose If the professor to buy either the either either the original copy of the book or a copy of the copy, and if the professor chooses to exercise that right, then we will go down to the library and make a copy. No, we should make the copy first.
01:14:25
Speaker
that the point of making like me how the copy was so that we didn't have to give up possession of the copy that we have totally. We could still have the book during these three days. That was what I was going for. Okay, so we'll okay so we will ah so we will make the copy of the copy now um and give and give the professor the original copy.
01:14:56
Speaker
um And on the third on the third day, Professor Farnsworth has the right to buy either the copy of the copy or the original copy from us. um Should he choose to exercise the right to buy the original copy, it will be 20,000 poke, but if it's the copy of the copy, it will be 5,000 poke.
01:15:28
Speaker
And um as as per standard practice, the contract also states that the book comes with no warranties of any kind, including merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose.
01:15:44
Speaker
Okay, so, Mr... Oh, fucking Christ, it took most to get rid of me. Professor Farnsworth picks up the pen, and he signs whatever the fuck you just said because I was typing in Discord and wasn't listening. He signs the paperwork and he's like, I'm sure I definitely didn't just sign my soul away or something. Oh, well, I'm too stupid and feeble to read this contract. I could, but I am still in my pajamas.
01:16:13
Speaker
Yeah, and then Hikaru takes it and signs right below professor Farnsworth, you know you're awfully familiar Like you you remind me a lot of my teacher back home. He honestly said the same thing once to me when I was in school You met professor Farnsworth. Yes. He's my great-great-grandson I wait a minute how are you ninety a wait hold on am i And he walks over to like a chalkboard and he looks at a ah literally the entire chalkboard is taken up by one number and it says 268 years old
01:17:06
Speaker
Yes, that one. i Am I a biological freak of nature? oh Yes. Yes. Well, that's a ripe old age. i wouldn't because It's considered rotten. Congratulations. In the terms of fruit, a ripe is like your 20s. And then like ah where I'm at is like not even rotten. It's just disintegrated.
01:17:35
Speaker
So I, uh, yes. Don't say that about yourself, Professor. I am withering away as you speak. I'm sure you're very... I'm sure you're a very accomplished scholar. Uh, am I?
01:17:54
Speaker
Uh, yeah, I mean, that looks like your CV on the table. It looks like it's, what, 35 pages long? Curriculum Vitae. It's the record of your... It's... Huh, I should notice like i know what a CV is. it's It's the record of all your academic accomplishments. All your papers and all the people you've, all the students you've mentored and... i like a classes that you taught. Am I a smart person or something?
01:18:28
Speaker
That fall seems to have really shook my brain up. Oh, that's right. I'm a professor. I just remembered. Right. This is the ah da College it of Volkenburg. Close enough. very I am very smart and trustworthy. ah Yes.
01:18:57
Speaker
Yeah. That you are. This is why we're making the copy of this copy before giving it to him for three days. Exactly. I gotta say, I kind of like this character. I'm not gonna lie. It's just a bumbling idiot.
01:19:16
Speaker
but Okay, very smart bumbling idiot. An accomplished professor who seems to have misplaced his CV. His brain.
01:19:29
Speaker
okay so we go down to the library to make the copy okay so you yeah go to the college library of college and you guys go up to the front desk um and there is a there is a zigzagoon sitting at the desk and he's like ah hi there ah can i help you school's not open i don't get very many visitors i don't even know why i'm here
01:19:57
Speaker
um yeah we'd like to make a copy of this all right handwritten copies uh depending on the length of book could take from three to ten days uh like a digital copy like with a copy machine what's what's a digital the copy we okay maybe not digital just like yeah we don't have digital like a photographic copy say the copy ah copy that we have is not a handwritten copy it is what if It is a hand-wrapping. Miss Flamebag made a copy, she hand-wrote it.
01:20:34
Speaker
okay Hence why hence why miss Professor Farnsworth was was concerned about being too far removed from the original material. I think for two arcs, the three of us all thought it was just like a photocopied book. Yeah. I always i always imagine it was a hand-copied version.
01:20:53
Speaker
i don't i don't think the contract says we agreed to give him the copy of the book today i think it just says we will we will give him a copy of it we will produce a copy of the book your car you probably should have made a copy of the contract for us to have also copies of everything you have the contract ah i'd imagine that your car was still holding the contract yeah i'm gonna say you guys still have the contract so um Okay, we just rip up the contract Contract go He won't remember that he's buying it though. He's not gonna remember. obviouslyly He might not i be really funny You could try that because I mean reach of contract I
01:21:46
Speaker
yeah if he if we if we break the contract then he doesn't have to he doesn't have to buy the book at all yeah i guess so we yeah but are we adding to our list of felonies more felonies more felonies next on our list after arson and kidnapping is breach of contract is breach of contract actually a felony i don't think so i don't think it is
01:22:16
Speaker
Depends on the contract, I suppose. Yeah, I think if you're like the CEO you of Google and you break like your main contract, or it might be considered a felony. But like I just feel like a citizens agreement like this is not a felony. Yeah. Well, can you is there any way that you could um get us a copy of this book so much? I could if I was, let's say, compensated.
01:22:47
Speaker
Well, how much? My my my dude, the zigzagoon. What if I gave you ah an energy drink so you could work faster and just get this shit done in like two days? Hmm, I would definitely reduce the compensation. But I don't know what an energy drink is. Sounds tempting. Coffee exists, but an energy drink doesn't.
01:23:08
Speaker
Okay. One energy drink and 1,000 poke and we have a deal. 1,000 poke. Deal. uh and and you'll get it back to us in exactly three days more like 2.99 days i said two days it doesn't uh 2.99 days it's
01:23:34
Speaker
The energy drink is the best idea because it might not be that great of a copy. actually that's a good idea so the energy drink will speed up the process um to it' will set the process to exactly three days uh but it has a chance to make the copy sloppy copy sloppy copy sloppy yeah if uh yeah if you give him an energy drink it might make his copy sloppier ah so funny to say but the uh um the end result will be exactly three days otherwise it may be longer than three days
01:24:12
Speaker
I want him to have a good appraisal of... I want him to think that it's a good book, you know? Okay, so you did not give him... Yeah, oh yeah, you know what, maybe we should... let's see if Ms. Flambach has another copy, or can produce another copy. Or maybe she has some advanced technology. Bruce, can you just text your mom and see if she's got another copy on her hand? Uh...
01:24:38
Speaker
Yeah, um, Bruce, maybe, maybe your mom's, maybe your company has some, you know, weird, some wacky gizmo that will let us make a copy of this book in a matter of minutes. Yeah. You know and you know anything like that? Yes. I'm going to text my mom then and ask if there's, if like one or two, things like two things. First is, uh,
01:25:05
Speaker
Did you make a second copy of the book and a if not, do you have like any prototype of like a copy machine or anything like that that we could use to can make a copy of this existing copy? just Okay, so you send those two texts and it in the little text bubble, it just says sent.
01:25:35
Speaker
Does the GBA have a camera app? can i Can we just take pictures of the copy we have? I don't remember if it does, but I'm gonna... I'd have to review the episode as something you guys would do next episode. I'll have to review episode 13 to see exactly what apps was on it. I don't remember, but maybe that is a possibility. That is also a good idea. But no, but the DBA only has like 128 kilobytes of ROM storage. It doesn't have that much storage. The book is too big. Yeah.
Library Antics and Walter's Performance
01:26:10
Speaker
The book is like too. The book is like.
01:26:14
Speaker
a gigabyte worth of images probably. So the uh, so the Zixtagon's like, all right, so what's it gonna be?
01:26:24
Speaker
Uh, can we get back to you on this? Uh, sure. Yeah, maybe, uh, maybe later today? Uh, I guess, yeah, sure. And he goes back to reading whatever my book he was reading. Well, thank you for your... Do you have any book, um, ice cream? Because I'm still trying to figure out what ice cream is.
01:26:45
Speaker
Yeah, maybe. You can always check out the food section, I guess. Why? That's obviously, that's a very odd request. Well, we we were trying to sell it at my family's restaurant and I have no idea what the frick it is, so i just want it I just still trying to figure that out. Like i so like my man, i put it in the I put it in the oven. I put it in the oven. I don't know. I don't know what you're supposed to do with ice cream. You did what? You did what now?
01:27:17
Speaker
are you um you set
01:27:21
Speaker
Do you know where you are? The Volkenburg College of Volkenburg? And do you know what the people are like here at the College of Volkenburg College of Fucking Shit?
01:27:36
Speaker
who there
01:27:41
Speaker
i keep triping over though Do you know what the people are like here at the Volkenberg College of Volkenberg? Assholes. I mean besides that. Smart asses. I am besides that. excellent
01:28:03
Speaker
Knowledgeable. Exactly. We are smart. And you know what you soon to be lacking? The ability to fucking cook ice cream. Or do anything with ice cream. Because ice cream is all meant to be cooked. Get out of my library. Oh no.
01:28:23
Speaker
I'm okay with that. That's so that's that that's on that's on brand.
01:28:30
Speaker
So he like points to the exit. and He looks a very angry because you have insulted the making of ice cream like somebody in this school in nasho hey yeah are You sure you want to go here and people don't seem that friendly well, I mean I am taking a gap here so i can always whole scientists snap better next year Hopefully the staff changes Sure Okay, so I mean, it's a big college, I don't... I think there's some... there's probably gonna be some nice people around here too, so... Okay, so, um, with that we are going to zap... Hold on one second, I gotta do this properly. I gotta do this properly. Uh, give me one second. Okay, and with that we zap over to, uh, Walter who is sitting underneath the tree. Jake, are you with us? That jumpscared me.
01:29:24
Speaker
Hello, we are here. I said at me before you did this. Hello, we are here. All right, so we come cut back to Walter sitting underneath a tree and you're playing your guitar, right? Yes. I want you to roll performance, which is, I think, cute. I know what song, yeah I posted what song I'm doing, but I do not think it's copyright free, so.
01:29:48
Speaker
oh hello performance wasn't it what'd you get that's cool that's cool isn't it i think cute too yeah performance is cute 17 17 so uh you're outside playing the best song of your life what song are you playing i just had it let me look for i said um psalm 121 and I looked up ah ah looked up a lot of good like guitar songs. I don't know. well I just looked up soothing songs and I love that song. That song was soothing. It's one of the Psalms in the Bible in the book of Psalms.
01:30:35
Speaker
Okay, I don't know much about the Bible, but so you start singing same i I'm not the singing guy. I just play I don't sing so we went over the instruments Your electric cello sounds like a Bible You know what? No, hear the hell at this we can ah with this. Here's the song, Monster. cause i There you go. You play Monster by skillet and that's exactly what you guys hear as you come out of the college. You just hear Monster by skillet playing underneath the tree without a table. Walter got too into it and started just going at it. yeah did Did he draw a crowd or something?
01:31:18
Speaker
No, because that's where we're gonna end this episode. no We're trying- I have been Dakota, you're PM, you're PM, you're PM. I have been Hikaru, I mean, Evelyn playing Hikaru, and I definitely know how to negotiate. I have been Eli playing Bruce, who has apparently been replaced as the Hagler of the group. Eli?
01:31:47
Speaker
Sean! Sean! Sean! Can I have Sean playing? Can I have Sean playing Sammy? No. Sorry. Yeah, Sean's still there. I see his waveform. I saw Eli's waveform, too. All right, Jake! I've been Jake playing Walter, who is scared of what happened. Hooray, we did it! We'll see you guys next time. All right, goodbye. Get out of here.