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Building Grace- The Story Behind Sparrow's Nest
113 Plays2 months ago
In this episode of Exhausted Sparrows Unite, I’m turning the mic on myself to share a story I don’t often talk about—my personal journey and the raw, often difficult emotions behind creating Sparrow’s Nest. You’ll hear about the times I struggled, the nights I doubted myself, and the moments I found strength in vulnerability. Starting and sustaining a charity was never easy; it’s been a journey of faith, resilience, and finding grace amid the challenges. Join me as I open up about what it really takes to chase a dream, overcome obstacles, and stay true to a mission that matters deeply. This episode is for anyone who’s ever felt overwhelmed by their purpose and unsure if they could keep going. Let’s dive into the power of vulnerability, the beauty of growth, and the courage to keep moving forward, no matter what.
Check out sparrowsnestcharity.org to learn more
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Transcript
Introduction and Purpose
00:00:05
Speaker
Welcome to Exhausted Sparrows Unite. I am Krista Jones with my assistant Chantal Shafer today and we're going to talk about some really heavy too long. This podcast is going to be about setting that weight down today, finding yourself some grace focusing on the things that truly matter, reflecting, recharging, and re-centering ourselves. I'm really glad that you're joining
00:00:49
Speaker
You know, I have to say, I never know your intro before we start. And they always are like, wow. And I never know my intro either until I start talking.
Authenticity and Unscripted Nature
00:01:00
Speaker
You know, there are things that you should and probably shouldn't do when you start your own podcast. And I would think the shoulds or you probably spend days and days and days working out what it's gonna look like. And Chantal can attest that I just kind of write seven or eight little bullet words, and then we just go. Yeah, it is a fly by the seat of our pants kind of day. It really is. It is, but you know what? We're living our most authentic life.
00:01:30
Speaker
There's nothing more authentic than not knowing what we're going to talk about.
Sparrows Nest Overview
00:01:33
Speaker
Exactly. I mean, we kind of know today that we're going to center it really around the charity because we're this is episode, I think five, you know, we're five in now and we're calling this exhausted sparrows unite. And there's people, you know, that listen to this, that don't know anything about Sparrows nest. They're, they're finding this podcast on wherever they find podcasts, all these amazing, great places. And, um,
00:01:56
Speaker
You know, I'm like, the story really has to be told. And and I think today's the day to tell it. It's an exciting day. It's an exciting day. It's going to wrap a lot of the stuff in because you're about to watch me as my most vulnerable self. It's going to be fun. It is going to be fun. We need some noises. Like we have a lot of noises like like we could we we could do this.
00:02:19
Speaker
Yeah, the board does a lot of things, so so today there might be a lot of that. I'm apologizing in advance for all of the sound effects you may hear today. I don't even know all of them, so it's going to be fun. Suspero's Nest, for those of you that do not know, ah is a charity in which we feed families that are going through a cancer diagnosis, five counties in the Hudson Valley, which is in New York. If you're like, where the heck are you?
00:02:44
Speaker
So we are in the Hudson Valley, Dutchess County and Ulster County, Orange Putnam and Westchester, parts of Westchester County, which is big, big, big. It's very close to New York City, and there's a lot of people in that county. So we're really on the tip of that, somewhere around the northern sphere of Westchester County. And the charity um really all evolves ah because of the love I had for a friend of mine when we had just wee little babies.
Inspiration and Origin Story
00:03:15
Speaker
I had three little babies. I think at the time they were four, three, and one. And my sweet friend Kathy also had three kids around the same ages.
00:03:29
Speaker
And um we met at a mom's group. ah It was called Vassar Hospital at the time. It is now New Vance and Changing Hands Again to Northwell. um that that's That's happening I think in the next few months. And we met at this mom's group when I was just ah beside myself because for those of you that are new moms, ah you know that there should be a little bit more warning when it comes to the nursing process.
00:03:57
Speaker
Right? sh Chantel's laughing because she is a lot closer to that process than I am. She's younger than me and her children are. Uh, 10 and eight. I mean, she's not nursing them now, but you know, nobody really ever talks about that kind of stuff. And then they just kind of put the baby in the room. And so there, there was a a lot of struggles with that for me. And then, you know, like really not sleeping for six days was a real thing. And yeah. And you're just exhausted. So they had this group for moms to go to where you could just all talk about how exhausted you were. And I was like, this is one day going to be part of a podcast. And ta-da, now it is. So um in this group, I met amazing friends. And one of those friends was actually my financial director here at Sparrows Nest. Her name is Beth. And one of the other friends was this beautiful woman named Kathy.
00:04:45
Speaker
Children my age, ah we did everything together. She was a lot like me. ah Beth, not so much like us, our financial director. I'm going to say things about Beth today too. She should probably be in the room in order to defend herself. So Beth was the type that we would say, let's go to the park. And we'd tell her like, I don't know, 730.
00:05:04
Speaker
And then Kathy and I would just get in the car in our pajamas with, you know, a bottle of water and, like, I don't know, fries from the night before and some fruit. And we'd be like, let's go. And then Beth would meet us about four hours later with adorable containers where she would have cut up, like, some apples and then cut up a little bit of chicken. And I was like, we're ready to leave. Like, we've been here for four hours. What are you doing? Our our children are sunburnt.
00:05:31
Speaker
so i Met these amazing women in this group and I'm digressing and at the time um This is authentic me. I have a DD at the time. I was working at a radio station and You know just having the time of my life I was trying to juggle all these small kids bringing them at 3 a.m. To the station Mark Bolger and van Ritchie van just passed away um You know beautiful man But you know they would watch me walk in and I would nurse them when they started crying on the air and these men were like I don't know where to put my eyes
00:06:04
Speaker
So, you know, out of that, you know, this loving relationship began with children and radio station and these great friends that I met at this mom's group. And um we just used to do a lot together. She was a cool mom. She would just go. She'd be like, let's go to the Crayola factory in New Jersey for the day or whatever. And we would just do like all these great things. That sounds fun.
00:06:27
Speaker
great things, and she cooked like me. She'd be like, what is in my fridge, and let's throw it all together, and let's make some fun casseroles. And I'd be like, yeah, that's great.
Support and Community Involvement
00:06:36
Speaker
And um ah she decided to have a weight loss surgery done. And so when we're talking about you know um loving ourselves and our our our authentic selves, um she was the one that introduced me to Jazzercise, where I met our board president, Jen Orko.
00:06:55
Speaker
all these amazing ladies and you know we were always trying to do the next thing to to get the weight off of us and she ended up having um a weight loss surgery down the band she did the the band and um she just she wasn't feeling good and you know she was losing a lot of weight and they were worried she wasn't getting enough protein and One day i was um I was working at an event, I was DJing because I did that as well, weddings and parties and that's that's how Chantel and I met. Yeah, I DJed Chantel's wedding and we'll get to that.
00:07:29
Speaker
And um when I was DJing, I got a phone call that she just wasn't feeling well, and she decided to go to the hospital. And I don't know, within two days, I think um we were told you know that she had colon cancer. And I had never known anyone to be sick. I don't know how I managed to get to almost 40 years old at the time, I think it was like 38, and not know anyone that was sick.
00:07:53
Speaker
Um, but here it was in front of me and then there were stages being talked about and there was all this stuff and I didn't know. And the only thing that I really felt that I could do for her and do for her decently was cook because she wasn't giving out a lot of information.
00:08:11
Speaker
and I didn't know how to help her, I didn't know how to navigate it, and everybody handles, now I know this, diagnosis is completely differently. yeah There are people that get really into their faith, and they really put it out there you know to to to God, and they're like, you know i'm I'm praying, I need you to help me through it. There are people that really get into nutrition, and they figure out what should I be eating and not eating, and is it true that ah Sugar actually feeds cancer and I just want to tell you it is not true I will have our dietary oncologist on in a few weeks to talk about that as well, but um, you know people handle this differently and She just really ah She was very private in in in her battle. And so as her friends we respected it, but we also knew she can use some help and So we just threw food, you know um you know, at her doorstep. We would make meals, put it at the doorstep. If she would see us, that was great. If she didn't feel good and she didn't, that was okay too because she was the mom of all moms. Her biggest concern was making sure that those kids were fed. It was a huge concern. That's all we care about, you know, as as caregivers, is everybody around us while I'm just in bed, just trying to fight the fight. How is my family being fed? How are the bills getting paid? Is my house clean? Who's bringing my children to their soccer game? Like, all of that as a mom is so mentally exhausting. And as a dad and a caregiver, when you feel helpless and there's nothing you can do because you're so sick,
00:09:49
Speaker
So I just knew I could do this. I lived in Louisiana half my life. i mean That's what you do in the South. You just cook. You cook for the homecoming queen and the person that you know got in a car accident. and you know You just cook. So I got a small group of us together. I think we might have stopped having the community come in because that can be overwhelming and we just started making meals for her because, you know, the community was amazing. But the problem with that is you don't know one is the food being cooked in a sanitary kitchen. That's really important. It's so important. No immune system. You don't know if somebody you know is bringing you the food, but on the way, they're stopping at Bobby's baseball game and they're talking to friends. and like You just don't know if the safety of the food has been compromised. Did it go straight to them, the right temperatures?
Growth and Challenges
00:10:40
Speaker
and
00:10:41
Speaker
so And probably the biggest thing of all this is as much as people want to help their strangers at her door and their strangers at all hours of the day and night and there were times where she just needed to sleep yeah so we realized it was better for us to just kind of come and go with a couple meals and then just leave her and let her tell us when she needed more and what she needed and so we kind of.
00:11:04
Speaker
You know talk to each other and I said listen, I'm just starting the schedule. That's sort of what we did and um You know, it was a huge help to the family just for them to heat something up and At the end of the day, you know Kathy lost her battle and it was awful to watch that happen um You know, I was there in the final moments of that in the entire thing was just awful. And it was really awful because it was this mom that was doing everything in her power in her dying breaths, you know, just to make sure that her children were taken care of. It is, I would think, the fear.
00:11:45
Speaker
that all of us would have. we just want you know it I cannot imagine you know the thought process that goes behind that to to know that your children will be here without you.
00:11:59
Speaker
i mean that is awful that is it's just such an awful feeling so we were doing everything we could just to love upon these these children and she has an amazing man that it stood behind her all the these years her husband of course was very very supportive but the entire journey was was was not a kind one. it was It was really, really hard. And when she passed away at her funeral, um another friend you know came up to me and said, hey, listen, I just want you to know I have this lump on my neck. We're pretty sure it's cancer. Haven't really said much to you. I'm going to the doctor. I want to go on a vacation first because
00:12:43
Speaker
I don't think this is going to be a good outcome and you know I just want you to know and I was like what in the world so she went on vacation she came back and she said you know it is cancer and I was like oh goodness and right after that um our graphic designer she said something's not right I think I need a hysterectomy they're telling me that there's cancer there so had all of these women in my life after Kathy passed that are saying, oh my gosh, I'm diagnosed. My next door neighbor was diagnosed, a teacher her at her school. So I was like, what in the world is happening? And know you know, I was working at the radio station and I said to my husband, you know, some of you have already heard this story, so bear with me. But I said, I need to start this charity. um That's what I need to do. If I can feed five or six of my friends, like, my gosh, I can feed, you know, 50 people. And my husband was like, I don't think you can. Like, that doesn't seem like you can jump from 12 to 50. And I was like, that's easy. That sounds like a challenge. He was like, I don't think so. And I said, so listen, we're going to have to build on the back of our home. We're going to have to build a kitchen. Because at the time, ah people, were friends, and I'm air quoting friends, you know, were saying to me, well, I don't know. That doesn't make sense.
00:13:57
Speaker
I don't think you can do that. I don't think anybody's going to, you know, ah support that. How would you do that? Like you need a better business plan in place and you need a 25 page. I mean, it was just, and I was like, I don't know. I'm just, I'm going to do it. So I kind of put it out to the public.
00:14:15
Speaker
And this guy just came into my life. Dawn Stoll's husband, Dawn Stoll, I think is the one that saw it. And she's like, hey, George, like they want to build this on the back of their home. And this guy just kind of like showed up in my house and he's like, what am I doing? That's kind of how he talks, right?
00:14:32
Speaker
that that That definitely was George. Right? Like, hey, what are we doing? What are we doing? How are we doing it? Let's go. Let me tell you. And then, you know, there's so many funny stories behind the story. So I was like, who is this cool man? And he's like, what do you have, like, in your bank account? Like, I had money in my 401K and, you know, I talked to Christian, my husband, of course, before that.
00:14:53
Speaker
I think he went to the bar and got completely wasted. I'm just going to be honest. I think it was like, you're going to do what? Let me go drink. I don't know. And and because I quit my job and then I took money, everything we had out of our 401k. So if you're a financial advisor listening, I say this all the time. I know that wasn't maybe the smartest thing I've ever done, but.
00:15:11
Speaker
Here we are. Here we are. so That is a leap of faith. It was. It was this big leap of faith. And um he's in the middle of this. Not many people know this. He's in the middle of this this this um building. And we have ah Greg Araca.
00:15:26
Speaker
ah who's there with us, Fishkill Pools, George Stoll, George Stoll Contracting. um We have got ah Bulldog Concrete. He's pouring the concrete. We've got excavating going on with our good friends. like We have all these men there that their wives are sick or have been sick. And all of a sudden, I get a knock on the door from George the Rescue.
00:15:48
Speaker
George the rescue George the rescue Google it it's it's it's um it's it's this guy he comes in and he builds like the entire building he's got a whole team they give you all this great products like KitchenAid and they work with whatever target and they work with like ah you know your your appliances and like all this stuff So this guy comes in, he's like, Hey, can we interview? And I'm like, Oh my gosh, it was like this producer and they do. And George Stoll comes in and goes, Wait a minute, what's happening here? And he's like, Listen, we're gonna have to, you know, tear down what you've done so far. And it we it wasn't too much, but it was like the excavating, it was like, um,
00:16:28
Speaker
maybe the foundation was you know kind of going up and um he's like and you know we're gonna build this beautiful you know whatever I don't know five hundred thousand dollar building in the back of the home and we're gonna make sure it's you know all paid for and George He said, no. Oh. He kicked him right off my property. Stop it. He did. He's like, no, you're not. This is on the blood, sweat, and tears of the men whose wives are sick that Krista has fed, or is feeding, or will eventually feed. And I was like, oh, George. I mean, I was a little sad. But I mean, I got it. But I was like, are you sure? Wait. I could get a new KitchenAid. Shoot.
00:17:09
Speaker
and um yeah And it really was the best move ever because these men that started this ah foundation were kind of the foundation of the charity. right They were building it for this local community that was going to be fed you know from this. So you know they started this whole process. and um I'm telling this story which you know I do in my ADD like way um because you know this podcast is all about being authentic so people see the you know they saw the building being built and then they saw that we moved to the Summerland Plaza and they see the beautiful building that we're in now and they're like must be nice or oh you're so lucky or you know and i'm I need to say
00:17:57
Speaker
It was not always easy or good.
Personal Struggles and Faith
00:18:02
Speaker
It was not great for my mental health. It was not great for my family. We almost went bankrupt during the entire process. And people see the end results of all of this. They see the post that we put of the beautiful pictures of now this beautiful building we've been able to raise money for. They see amazing recipients and they see me live you know doing videos and saying you know um all this great work that is happening but you know they don't see that it took a very long time to get here.
00:18:42
Speaker
I had to do this all by myself. One, I lost a lot of friends in the process because I had a lot of people in my life that did not think that it was great, it was smart, I should be doing it. I had friends in my life that felt I didn't have time for them and I wasn't answering their phone calls. you know And my gosh, I was just trying to keep my head above water. I completely filled out my IRS paperwork wrong, completely wrong.
00:19:10
Speaker
Like out of my own savings, like it cost me $5,000, which is a lot of money to me to put this paperwork through and to get some help with it. And then the IRS, I filled it out so wrong. The IRS, it took them like seven months to deny me because they were like, we don't even understand what department we need to try to process you through. So you're denied.
00:19:35
Speaker
so I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm not supposed to be doing this. You know, I was running out of funding because I was not a 501c3. So I was really using a lot of my own funding at the time because, you know, most people want you to be a 501c3 if they're going to write you checks or, you know, because one, they need to know it's sustainable. Two, it is a write off for them. And, you know, I didn't have any of this status. So I was like, oh no. So then I just said to myself, okay,
00:20:07
Speaker
I'm not meant to do this. I just spent like the remaining money in my account after I you know started working on this building and I cannot get the status. it's just It's not meant to be. And I went in this really heavy depression, like the kind of depression where you don't get up, you don't shower, you don't change your clothes. I have suffered from depression in the past in my 20s.
00:20:31
Speaker
um You know, where I've been on medication, which I absolutely recommend if you need it, I talked to a therapist, i um but you know, that feeling was was back again. And I just, I was getting out of bed, I was putting the kids on the bus, and then I was going right back to bed, and I just wasn't getting back out until the kids got off the bus. and It was was awful. I lost my friend. I was a failure. I couldn't do anything right. I lost friendships because I wasn't giving them the time that they needed.
00:21:01
Speaker
um I lost people in my life because they just really thought I was you know going out on this tangent because I felt from God this is where I was led. ah It was a dark time. and It was probably a dark time for at least a month, if not two.
00:21:17
Speaker
And then one day I just said, oh my gosh, you are feeling sorry for yourself. You've got sick people that you're cooking for. And I was, I was cooking right out of my own little kitchen waiting on this bigger kitchen to be built. you know And we had like 10 families. And um I just said, oh my gosh, you're feeling sorry for yourself. You have sick people, like what are you doing?
00:21:41
Speaker
Like, this is so bigger than you you. You are so blessed. Like, get your butt up and get to the gym. So that's what I did. So I went to the gym. And at Gold's Gym in Lagrange, they've got this movie room. Ooh. You've never been there. I've never been there. We're going to the movie room. And it's dark. And you're able to work out like in the dark. And you're able to watch movies. And it's really, it's a cool thing. Like, it makes the time pass. Yeah.
00:22:05
Speaker
So, you know, I'm watching the screen and it is this movie called ah Sparkle. Jordan Sparks is in it, Whitney Houston, I think. You know, I get in, I get my headphones on, I, you know, it's packed. So I start walking and I'm like, I got to get out of this funk. And all of a sudden, Whitney Houston, it's some church scene. I don't even know the movie. I only saw seven minutes of it. She starts singing.
00:22:31
Speaker
his eyes on the sparrow. And I was like, oh my gosh. Cause I had just been praying. I had just been saying, God, like I feel this is where you're leading me. And if you're leading me here, why is this not working? Like what am I doing wrong? And you know, and even when I'm like, this is it, I'm done. I like felt that he was going, you're not done. Pick yourself back up. Like the failure is in you not picking yourself up. So freaking pick yourself back up.
00:22:58
Speaker
I mean, that's kind of how I felt he was talking. It might have been a little stronger than that, but I was feeling it. So I'm in the middle of of the gym and I just start crying because I really felt this affirmation and everything was just kind of like, oh, and I'm crying and I'm like, I get it. And, you know, I do tell this story too. ah The woman beside me literally was like, there's a phone in here. Do I know do i need to call somebody? Because I don't know what you got.
00:23:22
Speaker
Like I'm crying and she's like, what is happening? Cuz it's weird. if Somebody's crying, looking up, saying, I got it. And um I just said to her, I'm fine. I just said, I am about to do the most amazing thing. I am about to break ground and the most amazing charity. So I was like, I need to speak life and everything I'm doing. So I just started saying, I am going to do this. I wasn't supposed to do it right then. you know And I don't know why.
00:23:48
Speaker
maybe the ah officials that were in office were not going to prove everything. Maybe I was not going to find the right group of people around me to help me in a volunteer position until I could start paying people, which was years down the road. I didn't know what it was. But I was like, all right, I'm getting back in it. So I got back in it. I found people that could help me. And we at least started this 501c3.
00:24:13
Speaker
And, you know, it has been a lot of ups and downs. It certainly has not been all ups. I have people, um because I'm so busy, I have, you know, lost friendships over it. um I have struggled in my own marriage with this because there are so many people that are sick and just need some home-cooked meals that a lot of times You know, my day is a 16-hour day, you know and maybe only 12 of it is here, but four of it is home, and my husband's like, you know, are we even gonna eat? Like, am I in charge of dinners from here on out when you make dinners for 400 other people? I'm like, yes.
00:24:58
Speaker
um My kids have suffered. We don't do a lot of vacations. you know I wasn't paid the first few years. And then when I was paid, you know it's not a significant amount of money, which I am not complaining about. But it is a charity. And in a charity world, you know you can't be giving yourself, well, I mean, I guess you can be, and people do. But I can't be just paying myself $150,000 and fifty thousand dollars and you know saying, I can't worry about anything.
00:25:24
Speaker
And, you know, I've had staff problems. I've had people in place that have not had my my back in all different kinds of ways without going into specifics. I have had, you know, people that say I'm not the same person on the outside than I am
Facing Criticism and Maintaining Authenticity
00:25:42
Speaker
back here. And it is true.
00:25:44
Speaker
I'm running a business back here. So I am still loving and giving in all of those things. But when I'm back here, I have to make sure the bills are paid. And I have to make sure that if commitments have been given, that they're they're they're rectified and that they come to fruition. And so I wrote a post maybe two years ago, something like, I need a break. I just put my phone in the fridge. My pants are on. bed like Like, I was having a day. Do you remember the post? I do. I remember that. I wrote this post, and I cannot tell you the people that were so genuinely concerned for my well-being. And I thought, oh my gosh, this happens to me on a daily basis. like have they They will commit me if they knew this. But then I also realized in that,
00:26:33
Speaker
they don't know that this is my every day. My every day is not the post that they see online. I mean, it is a beautiful picture of a building and it's wonderful words and it is a part of my day. But my day might have been hell in a hand basket. And like it took everything for me to get that post out.
00:26:58
Speaker
We deal with loss. We deal with betrayal. We deal with navigating a building with five women as staff members in it, right? yeah We are a family, but we also fight. you know We deal with contractors and people coming around or not coming around and things being right or things being wrong. We you know deal with fundraisers that don't pan out to what we were hoping they would pan out. I deal with heavy, heavy stress to raise $1.3 million with five people, four employees, one of them part time. We are dealing with how are we gonna make an event go off as amazingly as we can with such a small support staff. We have so much back here. There are days that I wanna quit.
00:27:55
Speaker
There are absolutely days that I feel I'm unworthy. I recently remember praying and, you know, I'm in no way comparing myself, but to Jesus in the ends of his time. But I remember praying saying, if there's any way that you want to take this cup from me, right? Like, hopefully this building is enough because the magnitude of what I feel I am led to do, like, if there's any way this is enough, like, I'm good.
00:28:25
Speaker
And I still felt this isn't enough there is more to be done so I struggle every day feeling unworthy and unloved you know when friends that have left and you know being in a position like that.
00:28:40
Speaker
You're vulnerable. you People are also putting you under a microscope, ah like a microscope, right? To make sure that you're spending the money the way you need to. Are you walking out your life exactly as they see on social media, right? Like I would never dream of having four or five cocktails in a group setting at a restaurant and getting tipsy. I would never dream of that because I'm judged. I have hateful comments that come back. I have people you know judging what I'm doing. um And I can't even read that stuff because I don't even have enough confidence in myself. So when I read comments like that, it sinks me to the lowest of the low. We'll do an amazing event. We'll do a great team run where we'll have, how many people, Chantal?
00:29:26
Speaker
hundred and 10 hundred and 20 hundred and 20 people and we'll have one person maybe three maybe three or four people that will say well you know you shouldn't do this and I didn't like this and then I will like turn everything around and cater to them We just did this amazing event in Ocean City, Maryland, where we had all of these runners. We train you and you go out and you have this great time. And then, you know, uh, they brought their family, they brought their friends. It was amazing. You know, and then we give surveys and stuff. And of course in those surveys, you get some negative comments back and not necessarily me and just kind of telling you the way they feel.
00:30:09
Speaker
you know, we've decided next year we're gonna go to Fort Lauderdale and we have people that are saying, well, you really shouldn't. And if so, you should lower the fundraising because then we can't afford it. Like, we hear all kinds of things here. And my point to that is you would think that I could take the 99.8% good and kind of skim over some of the things that, you know, may not align with what I believe, but I don't. I dwell on it. And Chantel hears it.
00:30:37
Speaker
I mean, you do. I do. Right? And then Chantal is like my sounding board and we'll say Krista. You raised $300,000 in that event. It was a good run. We staff, right? We did it as a team. We did well. People want to come back. Like she literally has to be a cheerleader for me because sometimes I can't get out of that 1% to see the amazing 99% that's out there, which I think we all struggle with.
00:31:08
Speaker
Oh, absolutely. And we all need those people to to reflect back the good and get us out of that dark or that negative space. Yeah, which we all end up in. And so I think what I'm saying is no matter what you see out there on Facebook, it really is the theme for this entire podcast. You see filtered lives. And I try really hard for you to see the good, the bad and the ugly.
00:31:33
Speaker
But I don't know if you're seeing the bad on a day that I talk to you about the bad. You know, with the algorithms and everything out there, you may be only seeing a couple good. And so it's important that you know that all of us have ick in our lives and we struggle. And none of us are as confident as it might appear when I do a two minute video because my background is radio. I can speak to the masses where Chantal is like, do not put me in the middle of the masses.
00:32:03
Speaker
But however, I don't do well with all of our technology where Chantal shines. And you know as we all have our wheelhouses and we all have our lanes. And we're not meant to be in all the lanes at one time because we're going to wreck.
00:32:18
Speaker
We're meant to stay in hours where it is, you know, we we can see what's in front of us. We're not looking at the guy next to us and what's in his lane because that's not our problem. We need to worry about what's in our lane yeah and we need to be authentic and we need to give ourselves grace. And that was really hard for me to do. The IRS said, no, like I had to give myself grace and say, all right, Krista, this is your first time around.
00:32:42
Speaker
Nobody knew how to, nobody knew how to give me any advice. There's no charity like ours. We cook two meals every single week for the masses. We're feeding 450 people right now, and that number's gonna go up to six, 700 next year when we expand first in Dutchess County. You know, there's there's no playbook for much of what we do, and yet why do we not give ourself grace?
00:33:08
Speaker
There's no playbook when you get in the middle of your weight loss journey, right? There's no playbook when you start a new job. There's there's there's not something that is written out for you that's gonna let you know exactly how it's gonna go for you because it's your own unique journey. So you gotta have grace in the middle of it, which means rolling it all back to the reason we started this, you have to have self-love.
00:33:31
Speaker
Yeah. and And sometimes we just don't have that. No, most of the time we don't have that. No, we all kick ourselves when we're down. When we make a mistake, we dwell instead of saying, all right, I'm going to learn from that moment. And I'm going to do better next time. And I'm going to rise up. Yes. Because the failure is only in the not rising back up. That's the failure if you stay there.
00:33:52
Speaker
small little changes, small little things. You know, this charity, so many people look at it now, they've never seen it before. And they're like, oh my gosh, this is massive. And you're feeding 450 people and you're raising 1.3 million. and you Listen, this was this was not born yesterday. Rome was not built in a day. This is 12 years of a labor love and a lot of sacrifices in the making and a lot of wrong decisions. A lot of bad moves on my part. A lot of things that I wish that I could take back. Things that I have said to staff or to volunteers or you know being stressed or every single day I say that to my staff. I say if I say something
00:34:30
Speaker
or I do something and you know it upsets you, call me out immediately. Like I am a human being. I am making mistakes on a daily basis. The problem is if you can't be big enough to admit that every single day you're making them and you need to get better. So I have so much left to learn. I have so many more mistakes to make.
00:34:54
Speaker
I am absolutely frightened to finish the building and one day open it up to potentially ALS and Parkinson's and and and diseases that are debilitating. But I know that what that's what I'm supposed to do, but I also know that I can't do it alone. So one,
00:35:13
Speaker
I have to learn to love myself, which daily Chantal has to reiterate to me. Two, you know, you have to learn to give yourself some grace and you have to walk it out authentically because you never know who's watching you. They need to see your mess ups. Yeah.
00:35:30
Speaker
They need to see the hard times. Yeah. It's hard to be with people who don't share that or don't show that because then you feel you have to be perfect in it as well. And that, you know, that that person might not find your mistakes to be growing pains.
00:35:47
Speaker
It's true and you know there's groups out there you know what whatever the groups are there's women's groups and chamber groups and rotary groups and all of that and watch the way they interact. The ones that are only telling you about all the good get with you know just stay really really superficial.
00:36:04
Speaker
And a lot of times, those are the groups I won't really speak in. I don't really say much in because we're not really getting into reality. We're getting the cliff notes. But the groups that get a little bit more raw and somebody may come in and go, oh my gosh, guys, this advertising campaign, it is just it's killing me. like i I'm struggling and I don't know. And then we're like, oh, well, like how? What do you need? what do Like, those are the groups where you grow. Because, you you know, you getting in a group like that and being vulnerable is then letting somebody else be vulnerable. Because if we're all just, it's great, it's fine. That's the group. Nobody's getting in the middle of that group and going, well, actually, it's not fine at all. Like, nobody wants to be the one doing that. So we need these real groups, real friends, real groups that are letting us live our best authentic life.
00:36:55
Speaker
so that, you know, and and groups where we can say I need help because that's something I do not do and I don't do it well. No, no, you I feel like over the past year, you've gotten a little better here where you'll pass things off and say, get this done and you'll release it. That's good. That's progress. It is. It is. But it's it's it's it's hard. It's hard to ask for help sometimes. And what I've realized, I mean, is the whole irony of it.
Accepting Help and Joy of Giving
00:37:31
Speaker
We yeah are asking you when you are diagnosed with cancer,
00:37:36
Speaker
to come forward so that we can help you. That's a lot of trust you have to put into in strangers. And yet I...
00:37:46
Speaker
don't wanna ask for help when I need help. So I'm aware of the oxymoron here, like I'm aware that I don't ever like to ask for help, but yet I want to help so many other people. And somebody once said to me, and then I passed it on to a friend, um because it's really made me start accepting help.
00:38:10
Speaker
Somebody said to me, it is like a gift, right? Because that's how I feel when I'm helping somebody. It is such a gift to be able to help somebody and to relieve some stress. And if you now say no, no, no, I don't need it, you have taken my joy away as the gift giver. As the person that was gonna be able to help you, you've taken some joy away from me because now you're not letting me help you in a situation that would bring me joy to get something off of your plate.
00:38:39
Speaker
Yeah. And I was like, oof, that's true. Yeah. Darn it. That is so true. It is. So the podcast, you know, Exhausted Sparrows Unite is just really because we are exhausted. We're exhausted here because it's a lot. It's a lot of heaviness. It's a lot of joy too, but a lot of heaviness.
00:38:59
Speaker
you know And we're just you know trying to do it all just as a society, as a person. You're trying to work the best you can at work, make your bosses happy or be the boss where you're not shutting it off at night. So you're trying to do the best you can there because you need to survive and you need to put food on the table and you're trying to be the best mom or the best dad or the best sibling or you're taking care of your mom or your dad and you're trying to be the best caregiver.
00:39:29
Speaker
it were your you know or a mommy and a daddy to fur babies, and which are, as Shonta can tell you, just as much work, because she has a new fur baby. i do Little kitty look kitty. Right? And we're just all trying to do so much, and there's just not enough hours in the day. So the best thing that we can do is give ourselves some grace.
00:39:51
Speaker
and realize in whatever season that we're in that we've also, we're going to we're going to potentially drop some balls or we're not going to be able to juggle them as well. So we we do have to put priorities out there and know that there are some things that we can never get to.
00:40:06
Speaker
And we have to live authentically. And that means social media and all. yeah Our words are important. And how other people perceive us is important. So every once in a while, you know, just going on to social media or going into your workplace or whatever and saying, hey, today I'm not okay.
00:40:29
Speaker
Today I'm not okay. I don't want to have it all together. Today I have a lot on my plate. I'm stressed out today. I got issues with my children at school. To make yourself a little bit vulnerable, it will help the people that you are around be vulnerable as well.
00:40:44
Speaker
And I think it makes everybody better. It does when you can share that it does, you know, and you've done work yourself, you know, Chantal over the years working on, you know, I think all of us have this. This need to let people know I'm fine. It's fine. It's all we have shirts like that here. It's all fine. And ah Sometimes nothing is fine at all. And we have to find a tribe of people that it's okay to be real around. Yeah, yeah. You can't do it all alone. And you can't keep it all inside. That's not healthy either. No, you got to let it out. And and it might be your spouse, it might be your friends, it might be your boss. Chris has experienced some of my my messy.
00:41:37
Speaker
And that's okay. Yeah. Because I do think, you know, even in the workplace, I mean, listen, I'm not saying like, I got it, you know, you're in a workplace and but you know, you should find some people and I hope that your boss can can be one of them. And if you are a boss, I hope that you you hear this and you can, you know, somehow put this into action. But just to have somebody go to you and say, you know, my work, you know, I'm ah i'm a little out of it today. I'm just I want to be honest. I want to let you know there's some things going on at home.
00:42:05
Speaker
It can be a two-minute conversation, but it's great to have those conversations just so that you know we all know you know because people sense it. yeah and so Trying to convince people otherwise, sometimes that that's even worse. and it affect It'll affect your work. It will. It'll affect everything everything and everyone that is around you. and All I can say here is that you know ah This is a big charity. um We are doing
00:42:35
Speaker
amazing work and lots of good. But there's plenty behind the scenes that is a struggle. There's plenty of decisions that need to be made. And there's plenty of people that need to be pruned. Plenty of thorns that have to be pruned from the bushes so that we can grow. And um all of it is really okay. Yeah.
00:43:03
Speaker
Yeah? So this charity is part of the reason that this podcast exists because there is a lot of love that goes into this and I am exhausted all the time and I want to make sure that my authentic self is always showing.
Mission and Call to Action
00:43:22
Speaker
And I want to spread the word about the good that we do. We feed families that are in the middle of their diagnosis. Every single week they get two meals from us. They get fruits and vegetables and cookies because cookies are love, yes as well as cheese.
00:43:40
Speaker
cheese. I saw a reel where somebody said that cheese is the most instantaneous antidepressant out there and I have never heard something more true. More true. And we put cheese on a lot of food here, unless you have dairy issues. And I feel sad for you. and But I do put the cheese on the side in case you want to cheat and have a little cheese.
00:44:00
Speaker
But you know our job here is just to help people. And I think this podcast is just an extension of that so that we can live this life out authentically with you guys, letting you know you know that you are not alone. And if you're sad, and if you're lonely, and you want to be around other people that are just trying to give themselves grace, come to us. We have so many volunteer opportunities if you live in our area.
00:44:30
Speaker
um And if you don't look us up online, we've got a lot of runs that could be in your area. You know, um we have a lot of ways that you can help us and bring joy to other people by sponsoring meals, by eating one of our delicious apple pies. I mean, there's so many ways that you can find grace and that you can live authentically. And if you're close enough to be part of this charity, come in.
00:44:59
Speaker
Volunteering sometimes gets you out of your own funk and being around people where you know there's no facade, there's no curtain to drop. It's just real life people can be such an amazing uplifting process.
00:45:18
Speaker
Absolutely. So here, we want to you here. If you can be here and you don't know much about us, you can go to sparrowsnestcharity.org. ah There is an area that says I want to get involved and you can do something as simple as being part of our newsletter. We try to do that every month. Chantelle will tell you that is supposed to be my job and I, you know,
00:45:43
Speaker
i think we're getting better We're getting better, but I struggle with the blog, which of course makes the entire newsletter be put on hold until I get that done. But we have a newsletter. We have ways that you can donate. We have, you know, and and that doesn't mean financially you can, but you can donate your time. You can donate your talent because all of that makes you feel better about yourself.
00:46:05
Speaker
So when you're looking at me and Chantal and all of the amazing people that work here and you're seeing this huge conglomerate, please know that it absolutely can be messy on the inside. And that's really okay.
00:46:21
Speaker
So I just want to thank you guys so much for joining in today, leaving you with this thought. You do not have to be anything other than yourself. In a world that is pushing us to be perfect, being real is, I don't know, it's kind of like a form of rebellion. So keep showing up, flaws and all. Give yourself permission to rest and to stumble, but get up and grow.
00:46:49
Speaker
Thank you so much for being with Chantal and I on Exhausted Sparrows Unite. We cannot wait to see where this journey takes us together.