Transcript
Speaker: My name is Jennifer Muldani, aka The Glam Reaper, and this here is The Glam Reaper podcast.
Speaker: We're in your ears, we're in front of your eyes on YouTube, and the show is going to focus on stories about love, life, and loss.
Speaker: But we'll also have a massive input from the funeral industry, because that is the industry that I currently survive in.
Speaker: So this week's episode is actually taking a turn and looking at pet loss.
Speaker: The wonderful people at Lap of Love gave us an incredible interview talking all things pet, love, life and loss.
Speaker: Without further ado, here we go.
Speaker: I wanted to share a story with you about the love of a dog.
Speaker: A few weeks ago, my best friend called me with heartbreaking news.
Speaker: Sadly, I've already been through this and so have many of you that are listening today.
Speaker: But what I didn't know is what we're about to talk about today.
Speaker: And I would like to introduce my guest with the most fabulous name, Anna Champagne.
Speaker: I feel like we should have champagne while we're chatting.
Speaker: Let's talk about our darling pets and how we can come to say goodbye our way.
Speaker: I hope you will feel your hearts well, just as I did when I heard about this incredible service.
Speaker: Anna, welcome.
Speaker: Your name, first of all, incredible.
Speaker: I'm sure I'm not the first person to have said it to you.
Speaker: My God.
Speaker: Thank you so much.
Speaker: Yes, I can't take credit for it.
Speaker: It is married.
Speaker: So tell me a little bit about you and the amazing company that you work with.
Speaker: Oh, absolutely.
Speaker: So lap of love is based in Tampa, Florida, and we do only house calls.
Speaker: So we only come to homes to perform at home euthanasia service and end of life care.
Speaker: So we will also do hospice appointments.
Speaker: So for example, if your pet has been diagnosed with an illness that will ultimately end their life, or if your pet is just struggling with old age issues and you're having trouble getting to the doctor, then you are more than welcome to make an appointment with us and we'll come do an evaluation of the pet in your home and see what we can do to make them more comfortable and prepare you for the ultimate end, which is kind of sad to think about, but we try our hardest to make it easy for you guys
Speaker: We are all over the United States now.
Speaker: We have well over 100 veterinarians now.
Speaker: It started with Dr. Danny McBeady and Dr. Mary Gardner over 10 years ago now.
Speaker: And ever since then, it has just grown.
Speaker: And we are not the only ones that provide this service.
Speaker: There's a lot of other veterinarians out there who have started at-home primary euthanasia services.
Speaker: So the idea has absolutely blossomed.
Speaker: And people are very grateful, absolutely grateful.
Speaker: I am too to say that if we have the privilege of having an at-home euthanasia, it is so much more comfortable for the family, for the pets.
Speaker: So I'm very, very blessed to be able to be part of this.
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: I'm going to try and not get emotional on this interview because this really speaks so close to home.
Speaker: We lost Roxy over 10 years ago now and I will never, ever forget going into the Vets that day.
Speaker: Actually, I'm starting to get emotional, but it's something that stayed with me forever.
Speaker: When I heard about what you were able to provide to my friend, I just thought, wow,
Speaker: that is so needed and what I find incredible about innovations like this and America is just incredible for coming up with these things but innovations like this that you don't realize I mean I work in the funeral community both with pets and humans and so
Speaker: I get this the whole time, but you don't realize until you're going through it how badly something like this is needed.
Speaker: And when my friend told me and only a week before had we been rolling around on her floor with her lovely dog and, you know, we knew he was so ill.
Speaker: He'd been so ill for so long.
Speaker: you do as a pet parent, I know myself, we really went through the emotional trauma of are we doing the right thing?
Speaker: And euthanasia obviously brings a lot of skeletons out of the closets for a lot of people, you know, and we won't get into the human side of it today.
Speaker: But it definitely it's a heavy weight to bear to know that you did that.
Speaker: And did you do the right thing?
Speaker: And obviously, our gorgeous little furry friends can't
Speaker: necessarily tell us back, but they can in a way, in their own little way.
Speaker: And so I just think it's absolutely incredible what you guys have done.
Speaker: And in such a short space of time, really, I mean, the fact that you're all across the United States is unbelievable.
Speaker: And you're saying other vets do it.
Speaker: I never, I'd never heard of this until
Speaker: my friend introduced me to you guys and I work in the pet memorialization business.
Speaker: So it just goes to show, and I'm sure there's plenty of listeners out there that will completely and utterly run to your website and just know that they have the information.
Speaker: If I could have, when my friend rang me and told me about it before she came upon you guys, it's such a lovely gift to give somebody because you guys are literally there holding people's hand.
Speaker: as they're saying goodbye to their best friend, their best friend that never judged them, that never, didn't matter what you did in the world, you'd come home to this lovely little ball of fluff and oh my God, it's just, it really is incredible.
Speaker: What got you into the business yourself?
Speaker: That's a good question.
Speaker: I absolutely did not see myself doing this when I graduated.
Speaker: I knew since I was a little kid that I was gonna be a veterinarian, I didn't know anything better.
Speaker: And when I graduated, it was kind of like, well, I'm a veterinarian now.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I worked about two and a half years in private practice.
Speaker: It was very hectic.
Speaker: I learned so much from it.
Speaker: I absolutely do not regret that at all.
Speaker: But I felt like I wasn't at my place where I kind of needed to be.
Speaker: It didn't feel comfortable for me.
Speaker: And I started asking around about what other things I could try as a career.
Speaker: And I happen to live in Tampa.
Speaker: So I had heard about Lap of Love before.
Speaker: I actually learned about them very briefly, my fourth year of veterinary school.
Speaker: I looked up the website.
Speaker: I found Dr. Danny's email and I shipped off my CV and I was like, hey, I'm willing to give this a try.
Speaker: And she actually called me back.
Speaker: I was very surprised to hear from her, one of the CEOs.
Speaker: That was really bizarre.
Speaker: I was like, why are you calling me?
Speaker: Yeah, of course.
Speaker: But she personally called me back.
Speaker: And sure, about three months after that, we were able to start.
Speaker: And I transitioned over to Lap of Love.
Speaker: And I...
Speaker: I feel like this is where I belong, actually.
Speaker: It's not... It's so bizarre to say I feel...
Speaker: very comfortable being with people when they're sad.
Speaker: It's a very weird thing to say.
Speaker: I mean, I guess we all have a place.
Speaker: But when I was in general practice, I got a lot of compliments for how I was handling those appointments.
Speaker: And people started asking for me specifically when their pets started getting sick.
Speaker: and so I said well I think I'm I think I'm being called this way and I've been there ever since and I really think this is the place where I'm gonna stay for quite a while and I am very grateful I'm very grateful I found where I belong in veterinary medicine and as I said you don't realize at all when you graduate where your career is going to take you and here I am doing something extremely unique and
Speaker: Again, very grateful, very grateful that I'm here.
Speaker: You actually raise a completely off topic, but a very valid point because a lot of people often ask me, how in God's name did you get, or why did you choose this, or what?
Speaker: And I personally feel like it chose me, and I don't really like the generic terms of, oh, it's my calling, and that sort of stuff, but I do feel like when you find your niche, or your niche, as you guys say, when you find that,
Speaker: you know, you absolutely know, you feel it in every fibre of your being.
Speaker: Like, you know, when you said there about, is it weird that I'm happiest when I'm kind of with sad people?
Speaker: No, like I, my heart, I joke, but I don't joke about how my heart feels like it swells after I've helped complete a memorial and done that person who has died and their whole family's justice.
Speaker: Like I literally feel like my heart swells with love and just affection for what I do and just, you know, people, whether it's loss of a pet or loss of a human or loss of a job or loss of a partner through divorce, like,
Speaker: they're going through wh at at the time they're considering the worst time in their entire lives and so many of us don't see the wood for the trees we we don't see a way out we don't it just feels like you're being swallowed up and to have somebody throw you a lifeline or just even reach out a hand to you to kind of keep you marginally above water for even a short space of time I just think is a wonderful thing and I think I completely agree with you and I
Speaker: You know, I remember back in college, I mean, I did a four year degree back home in Dublin, Ireland in business.
Speaker: And when I set up my business then 10 years ago, and so college is about
Speaker: God, is it 20 years ago?
Speaker: How did that happen?
Speaker: But when I set up my business many years later, I had to go and do like a general course in business.
Speaker: I had a four-year degree in business.
Speaker: I still had to go back to do a course.
Speaker: So I think college is incredible.
Speaker: I don't discount it.
Speaker: I don't think people should not do it.
Speaker: I think it's an incredible growth experience.
Speaker: And yes, education is amazing.
Speaker: But a lot of what they teach is
Speaker: is not practical and so I do feel like you do have to go out and kind of figure your do it I'm a fan of doing work experience and being an intern at a couple of different things that maybe you think might float your boat I went back to college and I did a PR diploma did an events diploma you know and it's it's still a far cry from what I'm doing right now but
Speaker: it's valid.
Speaker: And so, yeah, I'm sure there's plenty of veterinarians out there who come out of college and they're like, okay, now what?
Speaker: You know, and there's so many options in veterinarian as well.
Speaker: I mean, you can be, you've the large animals, the small ones.
Speaker: And actually that brings me to a question.
Speaker: Is it just for dogs that you do or is it for dogs and cats?
Speaker: Is it for any animal, any size?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Lap of Love advertises primarily cats and dogs, but we do have veterinarians who start with Lap of Love for willing to see other species.
Speaker: And I myself actually have a lot of exotic experience.
Speaker: So I help with the guinea pigs, ferrets, lizards.
Speaker: Somebody called and asked me to do their pet chicken once, a fish.
Speaker: That was unique.
Speaker: Please don't tell me you've had to do a tarantula.
Speaker: Not yet.
Speaker: I mean, I couldn't cope with that.
Speaker: I don't think I'd have any empathy or sympathy there.
Speaker: I just feel like, you crazy.
Speaker: I think the most common exotic, I guess, quote unquote exotic, more farm animal would be a pup belly pig.
Speaker: It is very fascinating how much people love their pigs and they are so sweet too.
Speaker: They are the absolute sweetest creatures, but they take up a lot of space.
Speaker: They are big and animals, honestly, animals in the U S I've often, um, on social media kind of had fun, if you like, with the size of, of, I know we're talking about
Speaker: pets and things, but meat, I mean, I unfortunately am a meat eater.
Speaker: I'm not going to claim that I'm anything other, but I mean, the size of chicken breasts, like do the chickens get plastic?
Speaker: That's a very American thing.
Speaker: I actually studied at the college of agriculture at Kansas state university.
Speaker: So I know all about that.
Speaker: I mean, that's a whole other podcast.
Speaker: Cause I'm fascinated with how a chicken back home in Ireland, a chicken fillet is the size of the inside part of my hand, the palm.
Speaker: And a chicken, you know, is a double D or a triple.
Speaker: Like, I mean, the Kardashians would have their, oh my God, it's just crazy.
Speaker: And so you do, you do quite a lot of different animals.
Speaker: That's interesting.
Speaker: Cause I kind of figured it might just be
Speaker: Cats and dogs, they're obviously the most typical household animal, but people have different tastes.
Speaker: I mean, the tarantula thing, I can't get behind it.
Speaker: As an arachnophobe, I cannot support that.
Speaker: I always recommend that they call first if they have something other than a cat or a dog and find out if there's a veterinarian in the area willing to do that.
Speaker: Because again, we're all a little bit unique, which is why we just primarily advertise cats and dogs.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: But yeah, just in case, give us a call.
Speaker: There's no worries.
Speaker: Just check in if you want your dragon at home.
Speaker: Just check in, just in case.
Speaker: Now, quick question.
Speaker: So you're all over the States and you're obviously, you're under the lap of love umbrella as such.
Speaker: so does each person in each state are they busy enough that they that's all that they do is there certain states that are maybe busier do you know in maybe one state where it's not as busy do they double up as a regular veterinarian and then do the at-home service oh that's a really good question it's amazing how quickly lap of love grows every time they open a new location and it's really up to the veterinarians how they want to do their schedule we try to be very flexible
Speaker: As you can imagine, being a company started by two women, we're very cognizant of family life.
Speaker: For me personally, I started full time.
Speaker: I continue as full time and I do this as my full time job.
Speaker: Other veterinarians may want to do this just as part time.
Speaker: I know some do this as basically their retirement veterinary job and they work just a little bit.
Speaker: And so there's all sorts of varieties.
Speaker: But every time we open a new location, absolutely, it's a little bit slow at first, but it is quite incredible how quickly it gets busy.
Speaker: A good example would be when you start, we might see maybe one or two patients a day.
Speaker: If that, if you start a new location, it tends to be pretty slow.
Speaker: And your free time, you're going to the clinics and talking to them, letting them know you're in the area.
Speaker: And most veterinary clinics are so happy that we are there for them.
Speaker: And surprisingly enough, within a few months, you might start seeing up to four or five appointments a day.
Speaker: It goes really quick.
Speaker: Word spreads.
Speaker: Yes, word spreads very quickly.
Speaker: And in Tampa, since we've been around in Tampa the longest, we are very busy here.
Speaker: I easily see four or five patients a day.
Speaker: It's incredible.
Speaker: And I actually want to come back to because I guess I'm focused probably just from my own experience on the euthanasia part of it.
Speaker: But you described the end of life and the sort of hospice care.
Speaker: So if they're not all these appointments that you're talking about, they're not all tragic appointments.
Speaker: It's not all euthanasia in home.
Speaker: So describe to me a little bit more about the hospice and the end of life, because I'm honestly, I'm
Speaker: It's terrible.
Speaker: I'm such a visual person, but I'm just imagining all these little graying old puppies, like, you know, with the little graying taches on these little, these little, um, yeah, like hobbling around.
Speaker: Geriatric animals are the cutest things ever.
Speaker: I think they, they just tug at my heart.
Speaker: That's probably one of the reasons I love what I do is old pets.
Speaker: I just think they're so sweet at the moment because of coronavirus, we are not advertising hospice because we try to stay,
Speaker: in the homes as short as possible.
Speaker: We're trying to keep distance and everything like that.
Speaker: But when we do offer, oh, and we also are offering telehealth right now.
Speaker: So we offer telemedicine advice.
Speaker: So if you're kind of in that position where you're like, I'm kind of not sure what I should do, you can schedule a telehealth advice and they'll talk to you about what you could potentially do with your pet via video chat.
Speaker: When we're not in a pandemic, when we're not in a pandemic, we have about an hour to sit, we'll do a physical exam on your pet, and we'll kind of eyeball around the house too, because you'll be surprised how much you can do around your house to help your pet's comfort.
Speaker: We'll talk about your pet's specific condition.
Speaker: If there is a particular diagnosis, we do appreciate you having some records if you do.
Speaker: A lot of the times we don't.
Speaker: And we go from there.
Speaker: Every appointment is very unique.
Speaker: We will go over food, we will go over medications and the question, how do we medicate?
Speaker: Some pets don't even want to be medicated.
Speaker: My dog at home in Ireland picks out any pill, no matter what you give it to her, and will eat around everything and leave the pill.
Speaker: I don't know, how she does it?
Speaker: A marshmallow-like.
Speaker: That's impossible.
Speaker: I couldn't even do that.
Speaker: So when we leave, you are going to have to do the care at home when we leave, but we're available.
Speaker: Email is the best way to get a hold of us and we'll give you our information and everything if you have further questions and we check in on each other and everything like that.
Speaker: But one of the biggest things that I think I leave with people is not just, okay, this is what we're going to do to focus on the comfort and health of your pet, but we're going to
Speaker: When exactly do I say it's time to call you for euthanasia?
Speaker: That's the biggest question we get is when is it time?
Speaker: And so when we're there doing a hospice, we can actually sit down and talk about your pet's specific condition or situation.
Speaker: And although I'm not psychic, if I were psychic, I'd be making lots of money.
Speaker: But I can go over some specific situations that could happen.
Speaker: And I can give you an idea of what it looks like when a pet starts to decline.
Speaker: And when is that window of time to go ahead and say, okay, we need to schedule that euthanasia because that window of time is very gray for a lot of people.
Speaker: It's very rare that it comes like, oh my gosh, now's the time.
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: Right now.
Speaker: I know.
Speaker: Usually if that happens, it's emergent.
Speaker: You have to rush them to an ER and that's scary.
Speaker: But sometimes...
Speaker: It's really slow and it's hard to recognize those changes.
Speaker: And so that's why we're there to let you know, okay, when you see these symptoms, you know, more than four or five times a week, we need to think about scheduling that appointment because we don't want it to get this bad.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: What a really bad situation is.
Speaker: We'll counsel you through that.
Speaker: We do our best to deal with every situation uniquely.
Speaker: You have to remember that death is like birth.
Speaker: You can have a birth plan, but Lord,
Speaker: We'll decide what happens that day.
Speaker: And it's the same with death.
Speaker: We do our best to prepare ourselves.
Speaker: But again, it's really up to the pet to decide when it's going to happen.
Speaker: It's always up to them.
Speaker: But we're always here.
Speaker: We answer the phones 7 a.m.
Speaker: to 11 p.m.
Speaker: Eastern time every day.
Speaker: We have wonderful people on the phone to answer and talk to you if you feel like you really need to speak with somebody.
Speaker: So we're here.
Speaker: Yeah, it's I mean, it really is a truly incredible service.
Speaker: I just wish.
Speaker: I mean, you're not in Ireland, I don't think anyway.
Speaker: So that's unfortunate.
Speaker: Not outside the US yet.
Speaker: Soon, soon.
Speaker: Yeah, soon.
Speaker: Because I just, yeah, it definitely would have, it would have just taken, as I said, I remember it.
Speaker: I remember every detail about it.
Speaker: Roxy had had multiple strokes.
Speaker: I'd actually just flown in from Cuba that morning and I remember looking at my mum's face and I knew there was something wrong straight away.
Speaker: And I remember we bundled her up into a car and took her to the vet.
Speaker: But I remember leaving my father and my brother behind, both crying their eyes out.
Speaker: And both very masculine men would not be shedding a tear very often at all.
Speaker: And they were both
Speaker: you know, crying their eyes out and, you know, me and my mum took her and it just would have been much nicer and much more comfortable.
Speaker: And I guess just not as horrific, you know, if you guys could have come to us as opposed to us go and put her on a, you know, lie her on a metal tray.
Speaker: And I mean, oh, I, yeah.
Speaker: But it's, I just think it's incredible.
Speaker: And lapoflove.com is the website, right?
Speaker: Just in case anybody wants to know.
Speaker: Correct, yeah, lapoflove.com.
Speaker: And we also have pet loss support as well.
Speaker: Clicking through that website, you'll find that we have a support line and we also list other support lines if you're struggling with grief.
Speaker: So even if you didn't use our services, we try to put as much information on that website for you so that you can find help if you need it.
Speaker: So it's all there.
Speaker: the big website I think we're in the middle of actually trying to make it a little bit more user friendly information it's hard and as somebody who does her own websites it's a minefield as well because you know you're trying to put yourself in the users position but you're also trying to make everything
Speaker: look cohesive and make sense um so it is difficult I mean the whole internet and online is is a crazy thing what I also love about this business is that it was started by two women um so can you tell me a little bit about them did they have pets themselves what made them was it was it something missing that they saw an opportunity or how did that begin
Speaker: The idea originally started with Dr. Dani McVitie and she was doing emergency medicine.
Speaker: She had just graduated and a little dog came in and the lady said, can he stay in my lap while we euthanize?
Speaker: And she said, absolutely, absolutely, we'll do that.
Speaker: And it kind of just triggered her.
Speaker: The name Lap of Love came from that situation.
Speaker: They started getting phone calls of people who needed somebody to come to them either because they physically could not move the pet.
Speaker: That's a common call.
Speaker: Like it's too big.
Speaker: We can't move them.
Speaker: Or the cat is scared.
Speaker: The cat's not coming out from under the bed, but you don't want to touch them because they're in pain.
Speaker: It's a scary situation or the client themselves, the family for one reason or another cannot leave their home.
Speaker: So she started taking those calls.
Speaker: and realized I could do this and she went to school with Dr. Mary.
Speaker: Dr. Mary she's totally cool.
Speaker: Basically she's a software engineer.
Speaker: She's awesome.
Speaker: She does programming.
Speaker: She did that before she became a vet.
Speaker: So they tag team up and I swear Dr. Danny is a wonderful businesswoman.
Speaker: She just is she's very talented with it and then Dr. Mary took on
Speaker: programs.
Speaker: She helped with the website.
Speaker: We have electronic medical record that she did and then we revamped it a couple years ago.
Speaker: So she's just constantly doing all of the computer stuff and that's how our database works because of her.
Speaker: So they really made such a wonderful team.
Speaker: Dr. McVitie herself
Speaker: is a mom.
Speaker: And so she was doing vet school as a mom.
Speaker: She started out as a veterinarian as a mom.
Speaker: She started a brand new business as a mom.
Speaker: And so she obviously understands how a lot of us veterinarians who are
Speaker: like 80% women now, right?
Speaker: There's a lot of women in veterinary medicine now.
Speaker: We're taking over, guys.
Speaker: You're going to watch our generation really change veterinary medicine, and it already has.
Speaker: We are changing how we deal with employees.
Speaker: We're much more understanding about
Speaker: being parents, about needing, about taking care of elderly at home, because a lot of women in the United States end up taking care of elderly family members at home.
Speaker: So you're really watching veterinary medicine change because women are taking over.
Speaker: And so
Speaker: Dr. Mary and Dr. Danny really tag team well and then they got of course a whole crew of wonderful people together who've been with them a long time and then lots of veterinarians behind them after that.
Speaker: So that's how it definitely is.
Speaker: I think in any company it's who you surround yourself with and who's on the team.
Speaker: It's the people that make any company.
Speaker: I don't care what anybody says.
Speaker: You can have the Apple and the technology is amazing but really at the core it's the people behind it and
Speaker: that's what drives any company to be a success, I believe.
Speaker: Just, I mean,
Speaker: Question, you know, you just already said that you're not a fortune teller, but how do you see the industry, the pet grief industry and that side of what you do?
Speaker: How do you see it going in the future?
Speaker: Do you think people are going to start embracing more funerals and memorials for their pets?
Speaker: Is that going to become more of a thing or, you know, have you got any thoughts on that?
Speaker: Oh, absolutely.
Speaker: I think, and I think this actually goes along with more women taking over the pet veterinary medicine industry and our culture moving towards more and more people having pets at home.
Speaker: Especially thanks to COVID.
Speaker: Right, thanks to COVID.
Speaker: We're so welcome a dog in New York City to be fostered during COVID-19.
Speaker: I'm telling you now because I tried.
Speaker: It's been wonderful watching shelters actually become empty.
Speaker: It's a good thing.
Speaker: It's a good thing.
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: Talk about heart swelling.
Speaker: People are choosing to have less children and therefore more pets and so yes, we are absolutely shifting over to pets being more family members and People are spending more money on their pets, you know, not just food and toys But also they're spending they're willing to spend more money for veterinary care meaning more people are wanting to ask the question Well, what about chemotherapy and pets?
Speaker: What about a hip replacement in my dog?
Speaker: People are willing to ask those questions and some are willing to actually financially move in that direction
Speaker: We're seeing more of that.
Speaker: And so absolutely, at least with Lap of Love, we are seeing an increase overall of use of our services and tons of positive reviews.
Speaker: And
Speaker: for general practice as well veterinarians who are doing regular appointments and everything they are also thanking us because they themselves have clients wanting us to do this at home more and more often and when it comes to aftercare so funeral services burials ashes that sort of thing there is absolutely an uptick in that as well i work with a wonderful crematory honor thy pet in tampa one of the oldest
Speaker: pet cremation services here in the area they're like three generations of family who own it and they are like at capacity they had to somehow buy a new cremation machine like and that's hard that's that's expensive and yeah permits space and so they are absolutely like
Speaker: at capacity right now and they also help with burials and so yeah i'm i'm seeing more my friends are seeing more the cremation industry is seeing more and i see that just to continue to grow as long as we continue bringing animals into the home yeah i have no wind in sight yeah i completely agree it's
Speaker: One of the things that irritated me over the last couple of years is, and I spoke about it on my TED talk, is the judgment of grief.
Speaker: I mean, just what you touched on there about people asking about chemotherapy for their dogs.
Speaker: I thankfully have not ever been in that position to even consider that.
Speaker: But I know myself, if I was sitting in front of a vet who maybe didn't broach the subject with me and I had heard of it from you, say, I'd
Speaker: I know I would probably say, okay, is this a stupid question?
Speaker: But is there such a thing as chemotherapy for dogs?
Speaker: I know I would.
Speaker: And I would feel like, you know, is that an appropriate thing to ask?
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: But I know my dogs are my life.
Speaker: And so it's interesting that whole idea of how we still feel judgment that the having a dog is not the same as having a child and
Speaker: And I'm not going to go into those comparisons now because I know that there's people who have very strong ideas on both, but I, and I'm sure you have, have been on the phone or in person holding somebody's hand for hours while they've cried about their dog and that, you know, they might've gone through a divorce and this was literally their last pal, their last friend in the world.
Speaker: And it's devastating.
Speaker: It's absolutely devastating.
Speaker: And my one thing, and especially with this blog and I will always in life is ask
Speaker: any listeners and any anybody to just not judge anybody.
Speaker: It doesn't matter whether you're grieving the loss of a job, the loss of a partner, the loss of a human being, the loss of a pet.
Speaker: Your loss is your loss and you're allowed to have it.
Speaker: And it
Speaker: It shouldn't warrant judgment from anybody.
Speaker: I mean, we're such a judgmental world anyway.
Speaker: It's very difficult to get away from that.
Speaker: But when it comes to grief, oh, I'm just like, give it a break.
Speaker: Give us a break.
Speaker: When it comes to that, just stop.
Speaker: I'm going to ask you this, and I don't know how you're going to feel about it, but I'd like you, if you could, share with me one good and one
Speaker: potentially horror story that you've had in your career, if there is any.
Speaker: Oh my goodness, we would have to pour some alcoholic beverages and such.
Speaker: Well, that's what happened.
Speaker: Open to all.
Speaker: We've got some time.
Speaker: It is ruined by an Irish girl.
Speaker: I think I'll start with one that like everything just oh my gosh I was so embarrassed I'll start with the bad because that way end on a good note.
Speaker: Yeah that's it.
Speaker: It was when I first started with Lap of Love it was within the first month or so.
Speaker: And I was just a flustered disaster for some reason.
Speaker: I was.
Speaker: And I show up very late to this apartment complex.
Speaker: And apartment complexes are so difficult.
Speaker: This is like a 20-story apartment complex.
Speaker: So you have to find a way in.
Speaker: You have to go up all.
Speaker: It's communal.
Speaker: So, I mean, there's people in the elevator.
Speaker: And before coronavirus, we weren't socially distancing.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I'm so grateful for that on many levels.
Speaker: Yes, absolutely.
Speaker: People are like curious about what you're doing there.
Speaker: They see that you have a doctor bag.
Speaker: They see that you have a stethoscope.
Speaker: They see your name tag.
Speaker: And it's just like, oh my goodness, leave us alone.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And this particular situation, I was very grateful this person was not alone.
Speaker: He was really suffering and he was really struggling with his decision.
Speaker: This was a larger dog who...
Speaker: was slowly losing the ability to walk in his hind end.
Speaker: He was older and he was incontinent as well.
Speaker: And he was painful back there.
Speaker: And he was on medication and everything, but the pain was breaking through.
Speaker: that pain medication.
Speaker: And of course, because we don't deserve dogs, this dog, his tail was still wagging.
Speaker: He was still eating.
Speaker: But, you know, every time the owner wasn't there, he just, oh man, he really struggled.
Speaker: So he was putting on quite a performance for his owner.
Speaker: And I'm here to say that happened to me too.
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: No one's alone in this.
Speaker: And
Speaker: He was an absolute mess and thankfully he had a friend there and his friend said, oh man, I just want to apologize for his grieving.
Speaker: You know, this has been his life.
Speaker: He actually like lost a lot of friends these past few years and this was his only dog.
Speaker: And I was like, oh my gosh, I understand it's perfectly fine.
Speaker: We'll go slow.
Speaker: We'll take it easy.
Speaker: But he was struggling so much.
Speaker: We had to call his mother and have his mother on the phone for him to get through this.
Speaker: And he was a very physical griever.
Speaker: So a lot of crying and
Speaker: I certainly walked away with tears and snot on me, but I'm used to it.
Speaker: I'm tearing up as you're telling me the story.
Speaker: But yeah, the euthanasia itself went very smoothly, and then I stepped away to give them some time to grieve like I always do.
Speaker: I went back down to the car.
Speaker: Oh my goodness, I just locked my keys in my car.
Speaker: No, I did not.
Speaker: And it was back when I had my, oh gosh, I had a 2005 Toyota Matrix.
Speaker: It was a wonderful old car, but it still had the manual ignition.
Speaker: And of course, I'm pretty sure my cell phone was in there.
Speaker: That was great.
Speaker: Oh my gosh.
Speaker: And it's dark out in this parking lot.
Speaker: I just let off a string of profanity because nobody else was around so I thought.
Speaker: And of course this man walks up and he's like, ma'am are you okay?
Speaker: And I was like, oh, hi.
Speaker: And I am so sorry.
Speaker: I apologized up and down for my behavior.
Speaker: I was just upset.
Speaker: I told him what had happened and what I was doing there and he said, you know, I kind of understand what you're going through.
Speaker: I'm a physician at the hospital over here.
Speaker: And I was like,
Speaker: Oh, thank God.
Speaker: I was so embarrassed.
Speaker: He, this guy actually called somebody a locksmith for me.
Speaker: I was so, so astounded by that.
Speaker: He was so sweet.
Speaker: He c alled a locksmith for me.
Speaker: He got somebody over there.
Speaker: Of course, at this point, I run myself back upstairs and let the, let the friend know, Hey, I apologize.
Speaker: It's going to be a,
Speaker: like 20 minutes before I have my stretcher back up here because I'm all by myself.
Speaker: I go to these appointments all by myself.
Speaker: It's dark in the middle of Tampa and oh it was it felt like it lasted forever.
Speaker: It felt like everything just went on and on and on and it really in the end it really didn't.
Speaker: It was still about an hour and the owner
Speaker: got plenty of time with his pet and was very grateful.
Speaker: But, oh my gosh, I was sweating.
Speaker: I was embarrassed.
Speaker: Oh my gosh, I was so, so, so nervous.
Speaker: That was probably, I don't think anything can possibly get worse than that.
Speaker: I'm actually laughing as I'm listening to this, Anna, because do you know what?
Speaker: That's me on a regular basis.
Speaker: The things that happen to me.
Speaker: It's just so embarrassing because they're upset and I just, oh, whew.
Speaker: thinking about it again I'm just so sad oh my gosh worst case situations or the best one best possible one oh gosh I don't even know and it's so hard to say best in these situations I would have to say I'll say my favorite my favorite thing people say a lot of things when they're grieving it can be quite surprising what they say it can be comical
Speaker: One of my favorite ones that I ever heard was a guy who was sitting there holding his dog crying and he said, this was the worst dog I ever had.
Speaker: And he was weeping over this dog and his wife sitting there like, I know, honey, he was terrible.
Speaker: And he's like, I don't know why I'm crying.
Speaker: I was like, that's because dogs are the best, even when they're the worst possible in our lives.
Speaker: This is what happens.
Speaker: We end up just weeping over them.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Well, what is it?
Speaker: Isn't there that famous Marilyn Monroe quote?
Speaker: If you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best.
Speaker: But that's not it.
Speaker: You can handle them at their worst.
Speaker: And they're better.
Speaker: I mean, they're better just beyond comprehension.
Speaker: They're just, they truly are.
Speaker: They're just...
Speaker: Oh, they're just your best friend.
Speaker: I mean, it's just, it really is incredible.
Speaker: To me, a house is not a home without a dog in it.
Speaker: Oh, absolutely.
Speaker: It feels very weird without, like, I always, I've had animals in my life.
Speaker: Always.
Speaker: I think, like, in school, when I went to college and I was in, I was in the dorms.
Speaker: Now, of course, you're not allowed to have a pet in the dorm, and I,
Speaker: I didn't feel right.
Speaker: I didn't feel right at all.
Speaker: I mean, I got a plant.
Speaker: That was nothing.
Speaker: I ended up sneaking a turtle into the, into the door because I needed something.
Speaker: Very good.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I, I, I'm in New York six years now and I don't, I haven't had a dog because I travel too much.
Speaker: I live on my own and I travel too much.
Speaker: So I, I can't, even though for the last year I have tried,
Speaker: I'm like, no, I'm going to, and it's, you know, the right one is going to come along and it's just going to make sense.
Speaker: And it doesn't matter.
Speaker: I'm just going to change my travels and I'm going to change my life and everything.
Speaker: And I've just got to have one and I've got to make it work because it's just coming home to an empty house.
Speaker: It's just not right.
Speaker: So I think that's probably why I go home to my own dog back in Ireland that lives with my parents.
Speaker: I go home to her or pre-COVID I did three or four times a year.
Speaker: And it's so funny.
Speaker: I FaceTime my parents and I'm like, yeah, can you just move, move?
Speaker: Hey, you're welcome.
Speaker: You know, I can't say if people could hear me because my mom tells me that apparently, you know, the FaceTime has a certain ringtone.
Speaker: When that phone rings, mom says, Poppy comes running in because she knows it's been on the phone because I'm the only one that FaceTimes my mom.
Speaker: So I'm like, my baby.
Speaker: Oh, they are.
Speaker: They're just, they really are the best.
Speaker: But I'm very excited because I'm potentially going to Florida.
Speaker: I've only been to Florida once in my life.
Speaker: and I did the Miami marathon 15 years ago and I'm never doing it again.
Speaker: So I need to go back to Florida and like attempt to see the rest of it.
Speaker: Tampa, I don't know if Tampa is potentially on our list, but we'll see.
Speaker: But I'm really intrigued now because I want to come by the head offices and maybe check it out and see what the crack is.
Speaker: Now, tell me this though, because my only previous knowledge of Tampa, is Magic Mike going to be working in the offices?
Speaker: I'm not sure.
Speaker: I'm calling in there.
Speaker: We'll have to do a check on that.
Speaker: We'll check the schedule.
Speaker: Make sure that he's the receptionist.
Speaker: Oh, that's it's it's terrible how we get all our information from the movies.
Speaker: But definitely find time to see manatees while you're here.
Speaker: I tell everybody if you're coming to Florida, see manatees.
Speaker: This is the only place you're going to find them.
Speaker: And you will just grin ear to ear like you cannot look at a manatee without smiling.
Speaker: And it.
Speaker: Oh, wow.
Speaker: OK, definitely.
Speaker: I'm going to have to.
Speaker: Well, you can send me a list because if I'm coming, I want I want the local list from top to toe.
Speaker: I'm a big fan of ticking off places and going to see them, but I, as much as possible, will try and get locals to give me the directions because it's like back home in Ireland, when people say they're coming to visit and I'm from Dublin, they say, oh, a Temple Bar.
Speaker: I'm like, no, don't go near a Temple Bar.
Speaker: Are you crazy?
Speaker: That's where all the tourists go.
Speaker: And they're like, but that's what I am.
Speaker: I'm like, exactly, don't go there.
Speaker: You'll pay 10 euros for a pint of Guinness and it won't be great.
Speaker: So it's always the locals is always the way to go, I think.
Speaker: But Anna, thank you so much.
Speaker: This was such a good interview.
Speaker: I mean, I could talk to you all day and probably ask some more.
Speaker: So if you're open to it, if I want to do another short one, maybe a follow up once I release this.
Speaker: As I often say to people when I'm signing off from them, I'm like, I hope I never see you again because you know, it's never good news.
Speaker: So I now get to say it to you, which is unusual for me.
Speaker: But yeah, thank you so much for taking the time with me today.
Speaker: Oh, you're very welcome.
Speaker: Thank you for thinking of me.
Speaker: No worries.
Speaker: And is there anything else?
Speaker: Do you want to add anything before I, we say goodbye or whatever?
Speaker: Do you need to know?
Speaker: website yeah our website is the best resource it has everything when I was in general practice I would use the lap of love website for my clients and so many so many clinics do so as well and so if you're curious click through it perfect all right super thank you so much my lovely I'll talk to you soon
Speaker: I hope you really enjoyed that.
Speaker: Some definitely interesting takeaways for sure.
Speaker: I just think what Lap of Love is providing is an incredible service.
Speaker: And if you haven't seen it yet, check out my TEDx talk.
Speaker: Search Jennifer Muldaney and grief is as unique as your heartbeat.
Speaker: It's also my website, theglamreaper.com.
Speaker: But let us know, what are your thoughts?
Speaker: Email us at theglamreaperpodcast at gmail.com.
Speaker: That's theglamreaperpodcast at gmail.com.
