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Let's Talk About Sex, Baby Pt. 2
74 Plays2 years ago
Is scheduling sex unsexy? Depends on the person. Kiley and Nan pick back up talking about sex in Episode 12. They get personal about their daily sex lives and share tips on how to be mindful of cultivating a healthy sex life.
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Transcript
Introduction to Everyday Mindful Podcast
00:00:02
Speaker
Hi, I'm Kylie Wyn Efron. And I'm Nan Cavanaugh, and welcome to Everyday Mindful, a space for real talk on weaving the magic of mindfulness into our daily lives. Let's dig in.
Practical Aspects of a Healthy Sexual Relationship
00:00:20
Speaker
Hey, Kylie, great to hear you. Great to see you. Hey, Nan, great to see you as well. I'm excited to
00:00:28
Speaker
continue our conversation from last week where we started talking about sex. And we left off a little bit, I think we left off talking about what that kind of the more practical, the day to day aspects of sex and how to keep it vibrant and how to keep it healthy in your relationship.
Is Scheduling Sex Unsexy or Successful?
00:00:54
Speaker
And I think I was talking a little bit about like, whether scheduling sex is unsexy or a recipe for success. I'm kind of the pro semi-schedule, meaning like prioritize a certain amount of time a week. What are your thoughts on this?
00:01:15
Speaker
I like a loose sex schedule, not gonna lie. I think that, you know, for the tempo of my relationship, having sex every week, every 10 days, if we're having it more than that, it's like we're, you know, that's a big boon,
00:01:40
Speaker
big boon to my husband's wants and needs because I think as we mentioned, you mentioned in the last episode that my husband's in the same boat. He could be having sex every day, even if he's like dead, exhausted, worked a 16-hour shift. I'm like, who are you?
00:01:59
Speaker
But I think that's just part of part of the way they're built. But yeah, I do find though, because I do know some people are like, Oh, yeah, we always have sex on like Sunday or, you know, something like that.
Scheduled Sex: Romantic or Pressure?
00:02:13
Speaker
And I don't know, I don't what I don't like is like the
00:02:17
Speaker
I shouldn't say that you know, I think on vacation the expectation like you're gonna be having sex and there's one thing but like there's something about like setting a day and like we're having sex on this day because what if you don't feel like having sex on that day and then you just kind of have to like Live with that all day and I don't like that. I don't like that idea that feels like pressure to you. I
00:02:40
Speaker
Yeah, it feels like pressure makes it an expectation. And it's like, Oh God, I really don't feel like it today. Where it's like, okay, like we haven't had sex in a few days. We need to, um, you know, we probably need to connect in that way. Uh, but I don't know. I only have one, we have one day that we always have sex. Interesting. Yeah. Um, the, the reason being is that because our schedules don't lie. It's the only day of the week or schedules line up.
00:03:10
Speaker
Yeah. Meaning like they consistently line up. So, you know, Monday through Friday, I am hopping out of bed and, you know, had, and once again, as I said last week, I don't love nighttime sex because I'm tired. Even on vacation, I'm like, let's go before dinner.
00:03:26
Speaker
like before dinner is an excellent afternoon sex. I'm a morning and an afternoon delight girl. I'm like my favorite. I certainly am capable of having sex at night, just would prefer not to because I'm just tired. And so Monday through Friday, I'm hopping out of bed, I'm taking the kids to school. And we do have days where I'll come back and then we kind of, you know, we'll work that. And that's more loose where we'll kind of just make a decision like, oh, why don't you come back? And you know, it's kind of agreed upon before I leave.
00:03:54
Speaker
or, you know, just when I get back. But Sundays are like the one day that he's always off and I'm always off. And I used to teach yoga every Saturday morning, so I'm not teaching. So that is definitely kind of like expected within our relationship. It's like your Saturday, you know, it's like vacation day.
00:04:14
Speaker
It's like a more relaxing day. It doesn't have to happen super early. And I don't know, it's just kind of like this nice routine that we settled into and then we get back in bed and have coffee and just have some time together. So I don't look at that as like an obligation, but I think there is just kind of an understanding that that's like a day we prioritize for one another. But you know, what's weird is like we got married on a Sunday because we got married on Memorial Day weekend. In fact, our marriage song was a Sunday kind of love.
00:04:44
Speaker
And the reason being two, I do too. And we met in the restaurant industry and Sundays were our days off. So that was our day. That was actually the biggest day of our relationship for the entirety of our relationship.
Enhanced Intimacy Through Scheduled Days
00:05:01
Speaker
So even though it is a consistent and kind of an understanding, I do think there's something somewhat romantic to the notion of that's kind of like this day that we prioritize for our relationship just in general.
00:05:14
Speaker
So, but I also don't think it's a bit like once again, I've known people who like literally put it on the calendar and that's just how they wrap their brain around what needs to happen. So I think it really depends on, and also I think too, like how disciplined you are about making sure that it is a priority. And I, once again, I understand that sounds super unsexy, but just at certain chapters in your life where you've juggling so much and have so much going on, I think it'll be very different when I don't have children.
00:05:42
Speaker
in my household anymore. I think when my children are gone.
00:05:46
Speaker
That's going to, not gone, but you know, I'm not gonna deal with this. I'm having a lot more sex. I'm just putting it on there. Yeah, because I know what vacation Kylie's like, and vacation Kylie is fun. Yeah, exactly. It's a lot of fun. So I just feel like, you know, I do feel like they're, for me, I do feel like a duty too to honor my relationship by making that commitment. And that does mean sometimes that I am having sex when I'm not necessarily in the mood. I always get in the mood. I'm always happy about it.
00:06:15
Speaker
But then in saying that, there are also times like, let's say I'm emotionally drained, or I've had a really hard day. And if my husband, I will say, I can't do that. I don't have the mental, I'm not in the mental headspace for this right now. I'm sorry, I'm just too tired. And
00:06:32
Speaker
And he's okay with that. So it's not like I'm bound to it. If I woke up on a Sunday and I just couldn't do it, I wouldn't do it. But I have found for us, that has worked.
Masturbation: Breaking Taboos and Self-Pleasure
00:06:45
Speaker
And I felt like our marriage is better as a result of it. The more often we're having sex, the better off our marriage is, the better our connection is.
00:06:56
Speaker
for sure. Um, but you know, also too, I'm a, you know, I'm a perial menopausal woman. Like I'm not in menopause yet. Um, and so I have felt my sex drive waning a little bit. And, um, but like I also have found too, that when I have like a little bit of hormonal support, it picks right back up as well too. So I think it's really, I've been thinking and reflecting a lot on how I can like reconnect
00:07:23
Speaker
with my own sexuality and my own sex drive as well. And so I've been also reflecting too on self-pleasure and on masturbation, like how important it is or isn't. You know, that's something when we talked on like shame and taboo, something that we didn't talk about, I was thinking about, do you remember that movie, Single White Female? Oh yeah, of course. Of course, right? It's a great movie for the most part.
00:07:51
Speaker
But there is a scene and I remember I went to see it in the movie theater and Jennifer Jason Lee is the actress and there is a scene where her roommate sneaks in a room and sees her and she's you can see her back and she thinks that she's having sex and then
00:08:07
Speaker
she turns over and it turns out that she's self-pleasuring herself, that she's masturbating. And everybody's like, the whole audience went like, oh, like, like literally the whole audience had an audible like, oh no, like it's masturbation. And Bridget Fonda's character like turns around and just like, oh my God, this is really bad. Like because this girl was clearly demonstrating some, you know, she was not psychologically stable.
00:08:35
Speaker
and was obsessed with her roommate. But I just thought it was so interesting with the girl wasn't doing anything but masturbating. It wasn't like it was just such a strange scene and a movie. And I thought it was like very indicative of kind of like the
00:08:51
Speaker
shame that we just have in general around masturbation and in particular with women as well and what you're kind of taught growing up. So I've thought a lot about like, you know, what is the importance of self pleasure and masturbation, you know, in different chapters of your life and in the current chapter of your life?
Empowerment and Taboos Around Female Masturbation
00:09:12
Speaker
Because I don't think, you know, like I definitely used to masturbate more. I'm getting so open and honest here. Let's be a touchy one.
00:09:20
Speaker
I used to more when I was younger and I've been thinking a lot about that. It's like if you're not connecting with yourself, can you connect with somebody else? I mean, what are your thoughts on that? Well, I think it goes back to a little bit what we were talking about last episode that women, the act of having sex for pleasure for a woman is not something that society
00:09:45
Speaker
has normalized where it is very normalized for men just to have sex for pleasure, that the act of sex should be an act of commitment. So when you think about that in terms of masturbation, masturbation is strictly for pleasure. There's no commitment when you're masturbating to another person, you're having an orgasm for your own pleasure. And I think that's where a lot of the shame comes from that we're taught that that is
00:10:11
Speaker
bad and that's unhealthy. But you know, I actually have a really good friend who gave her daughters and I've been thinking about this, um, gave her daughters dildos as gifts as teenagers and said to them, you know what, you really need to learn how to pleasure yourself before you start asking other people to pleasure you because you're not going to know how you want to be pleasured.
00:10:38
Speaker
And you really need to approach it on your own terms with a partner. Um, and I was like, Oh my God, that's, that's like a, what did, I was like, what did your kid do? And they're like, Oh Jesus, mom, fine. Thank you. Oh God, get out of here. It was basically the vibe. Um, but you know, I thought, Oh, what an empowering thing to do because it's true that, um, women in particular,
00:11:06
Speaker
Like it is common knowledge that boys masturbate and they masturbate a lot as teenagers and it is not common. Well, I'm just going to say this. Okay. I worked in a preschool and at nap time, let me tell you in every preschool across the world, I would say at least half the room of children are masturbating before they nap and it is the most
00:11:31
Speaker
crazy thing you've ever experienced. I am sitting in there with like this 65 year old woman who has done this job her whole life. And I am watching these children just straight up, rub it out, girls and boys, little three year olds. I mean, wow. Yeah. Three year olds, four year olds, preschoolers, little ones. Um, at first I was like, what's going on? And then I was like, Oh my God.
00:11:58
Speaker
Is that what's going on? But I couldn't exactly ask the old lady. And the first day in nap time, I was like, maybe that's not what's going on. And then the second day in nap time, I'm like, oh no, that's what's going on. When someone's masturbating and has an orgasm,
00:12:19
Speaker
But even at that young age, kids were doing it. And not just one kid, not just some one kid who's got maybe some things going on, but a lot of kids. And just not even thinking about it, not even having any shame around it. Just some point they figured out that this felt good.
00:12:39
Speaker
And they just do it before they go to sleep. I just had this conversation with somebody else where they were telling me the same thing about their daughter. And I thought she handled it in such a beautiful way because she made sure that there was no shame attached to it. This was just a child exploring her body and then it was a natural impulse. And that it is a natural impulse but I think that
00:13:01
Speaker
especially in our generation, you were really kind of like, no, no, no, don't do that.
Childhood Masturbation: Natural and Shame-Free
00:13:04
Speaker
We don't touch ourselves. We don't do certain things like that. Or there was no conversation. It was just like, keep it quiet. Yeah. And I think in particular for girls, I think it's really empowering what your friend did in the sense of even if whether you give them the dildo or not, that's another question, but you know,
00:13:23
Speaker
I think it is like, even if whether it's with their hand or whether it's with an object, making it clear that you deserve to know what pleasure is and you part of, you know, there's autonomy to understanding what feels good to us and being able to have the vocabulary to ask for it and to know that that's okay to ask for it, that you should ask for it, you know.
00:13:48
Speaker
Because especially with younger kids, boys are not going to necessarily know, especially with teenagers. They're not necessarily going to know what to do. Because once again, the boys are also seeing what they watch. And so I think that I actually really think that self-pleasure is important.
00:14:08
Speaker
I think like any other act of sex, I think we can wane in and out of attending to it and giving yourself that act. And I think it's also a guide if you know how to touch yourself, then you're going to know how to touch somebody else and you're going to know how to ask for what you need.
00:14:26
Speaker
And so I think that that is really vital. And I think that it definitely, I also think too that sex is a
Discussing Sex with Children: Openness and Accuracy
00:14:36
Speaker
little bit like a muscle. The more you do it, the more you're gonna desire it. Your body will start to crave more. So I think that's where the other aspect of the self pleasure comes into play. And I mean, what are your thoughts on like talking about sex with your children?
00:14:57
Speaker
I think it's important. Like the girls were, Audre was hearing about weird sex, like stories in fourth grade, that's cool. Like kids are talking about it. Yeah. And fourth grade, fifth grade.
00:15:13
Speaker
Whenever we started public school, I think it was fourth grade. And it was bad information she was getting. So I remember one day we were all in the swimming pool as a family. And I told Scotty earlier, I was like, I feel like I need to have sex talk with the girls. I was hearing some weird stuff. I can't remember what it was, but it was completely inaccurate.
00:15:37
Speaker
And so I just looked at Scotty in the pool and I was like, I'm going to do this right now. And he's like, what? And I'm like, it feels like an appropriate time. It makes it less serious, more casual, not like an issue. Like, I'm just going to do this right now. And he just looked at me and he was like, okay. And then he just slowly went underwater, like an elevator.
00:15:59
Speaker
And then that's he stayed he stayed underwater came up for air every once in a while and then went back down and like it was like it was a It was a quick conversation. I was just like hey and I was Tavi was there too and Tavi was younger, right? So this was Tavi was a lot younger, but I knew Adriel was going to tell
00:16:17
Speaker
I also think one of them had googled the word penis, now that I'm remembering this. And, um, and so I was like, I was going to tell Tavi, whatever I tell her some version, I'm just going to lay it out there. There's no shame in it.
00:16:32
Speaker
they need to know what's going on. And I told them, I told them, you know, just kind of like, you know, the way that like babies are made. And that, and they were like, oh, so you and daddy have only had sex twice.
00:16:49
Speaker
I didn't get into the pleasure part. And then I was like put on the spot. I'm like, well, no, actually, guys, sex feels really good. So we have sex even though we're not trying to make babies and their faces just were total disgust. They were just like, ew, what? You do that even though you're not trying to have a baby? If don't believe you, it feels good. That is gross. And then like,
00:17:19
Speaker
And then that was that. And then we just went back to hanging out and swimming and moved on to another topic, you know. Now that they're teenagers, are you going to have another conversation or has there been another conversation?
00:17:31
Speaker
Yeah, actually, I was just thinking about this, thinking about talking about it on this episode, and I thought to myself, now that Tavi's entering high school, that yeah, I need to revisit with both of them sex and the importance of it at their age and
00:17:54
Speaker
how to navigate it and just let them know that we're here and we think sex is great. And we were both having sex at their age with people and that it's healthy and it's fine. Um, but also you have to be really safe and you definitely you, you know, you have to be safe about it because there's a lot of, there's a lot of assholes out there and you don't want to get stuck in a situation where you're, you know,
00:18:23
Speaker
trapped by some asshole. Yeah, I think knowledge is power. So I think it's really important. I know my mom had the conversations with me. And of course, you know, as like a preteen and a teenage girl, you do not want to hear it from your parent, you know, but by having the conversation with me and being open with me and sharing, I definitely felt like I went into my, you know, like my sexual life with more knowledge.
00:18:50
Speaker
Yeah. And I also felt like I had a safe space to land if, you know, like I could talk to my mom, like I could go home and say something to her. You know, I could share with her. Yeah. So like the first time I had intercourse, I did. I shared with her what took place. You know, I had that conversation with her. So I think it's like building that bond, which is really important. You know, it's interesting, like in my younger son has he he's he's interested earlier.
00:19:16
Speaker
Like he's eight and he's more curious and has more questions. He doesn't get into the specifics. Like he had a question just the other day too about like, he didn't understand that somebody could have a baby and not be married. And how could that happen? And so, you know, we had to explain to him that you, you know, you can have a baby and you can choose to be in a relationship with somebody or not in a relationship with someone or a marriage or partnership or whatever. And he's very curious about like kissing and dating and he's, you know, you know, probably gonna have a handful more there.
00:19:46
Speaker
My older son, sixth grade, sixth grade is when we've started to, and also boys are starting to have physical sensations. They're starting to get erections. They're starting to talk to me about it. Like when it first came up, I was like, I grew up with girls. I don't even know what to say right here or what to tell you.
00:20:06
Speaker
But we've been, you know, really open with them and just explain to them why it happens and what's going on. And we try to have open and honest conversations. And I think that probably over the next year, those conversations are going to get even more pronounced just because, you know, I have a son entering into the seventh grade and then the eighth grade. And this is the age where, you know, these issues come up and we've explained to them, you know, that
00:20:31
Speaker
Love is love and there's varying forms of partnership and you know very you know, we've discussed all of it, you know whether it's with a man or a woman or a member of the same sex or whatever it is that it's just about making sure that you are Making choices for yourself and being smart about it So I do think having knowledge is power and also I think to seeing you know parents that like love each other and care for one another and are
00:21:01
Speaker
you know, affectionate with one another in an appropriate way, of course, by all means. I mean, and speaking of intimacy, I mean, how what role do you think like intimacy outside of sex plays into having healthy sex or having a more robust sexual appetite?
00:21:22
Speaker
I think as I've aged intimacy matters more to me in a lot of ways. I tell my husband all the time, I'm like, honey, I'm not a TV set. You don't just push the button and turn it on. I need to feel connected to you throughout the day.
Intimacy Beyond Sex: Mindfulness and Connection
00:21:42
Speaker
I need to feel like you care.
00:21:46
Speaker
are attractive to me and my partner. And when I'm not feeling, when I'm not getting the intimacy, I feel less attracted. And if I'm less attracted, less wanting to have sex. And I think intimacy plays a big role in particularly in long-term relationships. I think that, you know,
00:22:15
Speaker
a one night, a level one night stand, you know, haven't had a one night stand in 20 years, but yeah, they are a freaking blast. And it's almost like this crazy surge of intimacy, right? It's just like this crazy connection. It's super intense. You're hyper focused on the person. You do the thing and there's no strings attached and there's something so fucking glorious about that. But when you're in a long-term relationship, it's like,
00:22:43
Speaker
you really have to cultivate intimacy. It's very easy to slip into a platonic lifestyle, kind of that roommate vibe. And we all know it's not the best idea to have sex with your roommates. So I think that intimacy when you're in it for the long haul with someone is important and it's work. You gotta make time for it. You gotta get creative with it. Yeah.
00:23:13
Speaker
I definitely feel, for me, it's interesting. It's not even so much about foreplay as much as it is about intimacy. That's what's interesting. Yeah, I think people are always really focused on foreplay and obviously foreplay is important. But for me, it's more about like, are we holding hands?
00:23:30
Speaker
Are we like actually like staying connected when we're sitting on the couch and watching something together? Are we slipping in date nights, you know, like the random kiss, kissing more, making sure that you're still kissing more? You know, it's those type of things that I feel like sometimes in our day to day lives,
00:23:48
Speaker
can get kind of brushed away by the, can get brushed aside. And so for me, those are definitely things. And I think that's once again, coming back to vacation sex, why that intimacy is just higher. We're holding hands more. We're more affectionate towards one another. There's that energy. More present. More present with one another. That is definitely really important to me because it's hard to go from nagging to want to be turned on. You know what I mean? Like, or to like, you don't, it's not, you don't want it to be a roommate situation.
00:24:18
Speaker
And so I feel like a lot of my intimacy and desire is built through those kind of like basic courtship things that you do have really present in the beginning of your relationship. So I think that that's really vital. And I also think too, my mindfulness practice has helped my sexual life, my sex life.
00:24:44
Speaker
In that I am a person that if I am feeling very worried or anxious or overwhelmed, it completely zaps my sexual desire. I can't shut the thoughts off to become intimate and to become present with them.
00:25:00
Speaker
So when I started developing a sitting practice, a mindfulness practice, like when I started developing modalities to help me calm my mind, I found that I'm able to shut off better. So it's like by the time we are going to bed or before we're going that I am not freaked out about my kids or freaked out about work.
00:25:21
Speaker
or a relationship or something along those lines because I'm able to stay more present. Because what if nothing else, sex is, you know, it should be an act of presence. Now I understand that fantasy sometimes comes into play. So I guess that's another question is like, is it okay to be fantasizing while you're having sex? But I do think like sex at its best is an act of presence with one another.
00:25:48
Speaker
And that is what mindfulness is. So the more mindfulness I cultivate in the rest of my life, the more I take care of myself. I think there's a self-care aspect to it too. The more I like carve out time to take care of myself and acts of self-care.
Mindfulness and Curiosity in Sex Life Enhancement
00:26:07
Speaker
Or take care of myself physically like those mindfulness practices They they increase my sex drive. They help me, you know, and they help me to be more connective within sex I mean, what are your what are your thoughts on that? Yeah, I think Being present is important to have in good sex versus bad sex for sure and I think intimacy
00:26:35
Speaker
You know, you have to be present to have intimacy, you know, you have to, you have to be practicing care for the other person care for yourself. I think to have a healthy, intimate relationship with someone and you have to work at it. Like I think you do have to work at it. It's not something when you're so busy and particularly if you've got different schedules, like my husband's a chef, you know,
00:26:58
Speaker
Mondays are his Saturdays. It's like his day off, you know, and I'm like, Monday is my Monday, dude. I work in end of five. Um, you know, uh, you have to really, you have to find a way for it to work for both of you. And I think that's also kind of a challenge too. Like in a one night stand type situation, everyone's in, it's all happening at once. It's very fast. But when a long-term relationship, like,
00:27:27
Speaker
And people change over time, people's needs change over the time, some people's needs don't change over time. But the key thing is, is that like your sex life needs to work for you and your partner. And it's important to talk about it, you know, when it's not working for you or your partner and finding that
00:27:51
Speaker
finding that happy place where you both are working towards the sex life that you want and you need. But being present is important and being mindful of not just your partner's needs, which I feel like as women, that is what we are trained to do. We are trained to be mindful of everyone's needs. And then we're at the bottom of our own totem pole. Um, uh, but being mindful of your needs and, and
00:28:20
Speaker
and really, I don't want to say standing up for them, but demanding them. It's important. It's really important. I think as women, a lot of the times, particularly with intimacy, we just don't give it. We don't give it. We may want it, but we don't ask for it, and we certainly don't demand it.
00:28:44
Speaker
And well, I think also, too, it's really important that there's not too much resentment present. Yeah. In your relationship, I listened to, I think it's Brené Brown, who I was listening to this other podcast or talk about this the other day, and she was saying that the emotion of resentment is not connected to anger. It's connected to jealousy.
00:29:11
Speaker
That anybody that you resent it's not because you're angry at them It's because you're jealous that you don't have something that they have And that could be something as simple as more time more autonomy to their body so if you're feeling like as a you know, let's just say in our case women in your relationship And you're feeling like i'm carrying too much of the burden here. I am juggling too much too many people need me
00:29:36
Speaker
Now I have to give my body over as well when I'm already exhausted because I don't have any time for myself. There is going to be a natural level of resentment that is going to build. And I think it's impossible to have intimacy and sexual
00:29:51
Speaker
and sexual connection with somebody if you're feeling resentment towards them. So I think that's like once again coming back to that place of finding ways where you can prioritize yourself or you can change aspects of your life as much as you anybody can so that we're not feeling resentment and not feeling like it's an obligation that we're doing this because we are also considering our own physical needs within a relationship. Obviously our own physical desire and sexuality
00:30:19
Speaker
But then also the needs of our partner that also have to be taken into consideration, right? Because it is a partnership, so both of our needs matter, you know? And it's like really placing as much importance on your own pleasure
00:30:34
Speaker
on your own relationship with your sexuality as you do on your relationship to your kids, your relationship to your spouse, your relationship to their needs. I think it starts with, I think it's a self-discovery process. And if you can come back to yourself,
00:30:52
Speaker
through whether it's, you know, self pleasure, through intimacy, through self care, I think you can start to build more intimacy and build that sexual desire back into your life and prioritize it in a way that I think can be
00:31:09
Speaker
I think sex can be deeply, deeply healing. So I think it's important that it becomes a priority and that we're also gentle with ourselves about it. Like that we understand that there will be times where we have more of it and less of it and there's ebbs and flows like there is in every other dynamic that's present in a relationship. And to not let that panic us to just, you know, like you said, maybe sit back when you're in one of those, you know, kind of ebb periods where it's pulling back.
00:31:39
Speaker
you know, why am I not feeling sexual desire in this moment? Am I too tired? Am I drained? Is there something physically going on? Do I need to get my hormones looked at? You know, I think it's really, it's about getting curious. It always comes back to this, right? It's about getting curious about why, not just assuming, oh, I feel this way and it just is what it is, but getting curious on why and being willing to explore that a little bit so that, you know, we can,
00:32:06
Speaker
take care of ourselves and our bodies and our partnerships and our intimacy and have good sex. You need to have good sex. I think it's a great place to stop because I think you're just spot on like, you really do need to get curious, you know, in the moments when your sex life is adding and
00:32:25
Speaker
kind of dig in and be present with yourself, not so much with your partner, but with yourself and why. Because it starts with you. It really does. Good sex starts with you. Oh, I like it. We're leaving it right there. No. Well, thanks, Kylie. This has been great. And I look forward to chatting next week. Thank you, Nan. Talk to you next week. Bye. Bye. Don't forget to follow us on social at Everyday Mindful Podcast on Instagram and Facebook.
00:32:56
Speaker
And if you liked our little chat, please subscribe. It would be great if you gave us a review. All the stars, please. Same time, same place next week. Bye. Bye.