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Intentions: Why Do Fresh Starts Feel So Fucking Good?
153 Plays2 years ago
Kiley and Nan dive into why intentions make more sense than resolutions, how January is the worst month to start anything and the idea of quantum manifestation...whatever that means.
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Transcript
Introduction to Mindfulness
00:00:03
Speaker
Hi, I'm Kylie Wynn Efron. And I'm Nan Cavanaugh, and welcome to Everyday Mindful, a space for real talk on weaving the magic of mindfulness into our daily lives. Let's dig in.
00:00:22
Speaker
Hey Kylie, this is exciting. This is very exciting. We're finally here. We're finally here. We're doing it. Something new for the new year.
00:00:32
Speaker
It's a perfect time to start. It only took us a year, but we got here. Only a year, only a year, but good things come to those who wait. So true. So true. Or masters of procrastination. It's one of the other. I like to think about it now as just flowing with the energy. It makes me feel better. It makes me feel less like I'm procrastinating. I feel like I'm going with the flow. It's working so far. I'm sticking with it.
00:00:59
Speaker
Awesome.
New Year's Resolutions and Intentions
00:01:00
Speaker
Well, we are kicking off this podcast talking about New Year's resolutions and the psyche of intention setting and really kind of exploring that question. Like, why does a fresh start feel so fucking good?
00:01:15
Speaker
I know, I'm excited. As you know, this is my favorite subject in the whole wide world, so I'm really excited and I'm really excited to be, I'm actually really excited to be digging into this a little later, digging into this in February, because I'm a big believer, and I'm not, of course, the only person to believe this, that January 1st is a physical new year, but February 1st is the energetic new year.
00:01:42
Speaker
That's the year where we really have like set into the energy of the new year. And I really kind of think of January as like a bridge month. It's a bridge month to that energy. And so it's not really a time for a lot of action. I think people get super frustrated because they just want to dive right in and they want to get going. And I actually think it's a time for some reflection, a time for some integration. And so I actually think it's perfect that
00:02:10
Speaker
we're talking about this in February.
Historical and Seasonal Context of Resolutions
00:02:14
Speaker
Yeah, I did a little digging on kind of like the history of New Year's resolutions and it all started about 4,000 years ago in Babylon and their new year actually started in March related to like the spring planting season.
00:02:31
Speaker
Oh, that makes sense. Yeah. So in thinking about, you know, January is kind of like when you decide what you're going to do. February is when you kind of start settling into it. And then March is when
00:02:45
Speaker
If you're actually going to do it, you are maybe actually like planting the seeds in the ground. I don't know. I like this idea of intention setting really being more of like a first quarter activity. Agreed. Definitely takes the pressure off, right? I think it definitely takes the pressure off.
00:03:03
Speaker
For sure. And I also think in January, you're still kind of experiencing a little bit of like a past year hangover for them. So it takes a little time to get in and it actually makes more sense to me to think about a new year kind of beginning seasonally, like a new year kind of beginning when we actually plant seeds.
00:03:24
Speaker
When things are changing and when we're actually ready for some growth, which is what spring is really about, right? Like spring is when we plant those seeds.
Winter Reflection vs. Action
00:03:35
Speaker
It's when we set those intentions. And then summer is when that fiery energy, when the action, when the work comes. And then August, we harvest.
00:03:46
Speaker
Yeah, we go inward. So I actually really believe that the cyclical nature of the seasons is in line with the cyclical nature of our bodies. And I think just energy in general. So I definitely I think that a lot of reasons why I think there's multiple reasons why people kind of
00:04:07
Speaker
lose sight of their resolutions. One is just the word resolution, which we can get to. But I think a part of it is trying to dive in too quickly when we do need a little bit of time to digest and kind of settle in to what is happening with the energy and what does the energy want from us.
00:04:26
Speaker
Yeah. And I think you bring up a good point thinking about like wintertime is not this time to start anything. Like it's the opposite. And so it is kind of weird that everyone's like January 1, getting started. It doesn't feel energetically aligned with how you're actually feeling.
00:04:43
Speaker
about doing anything. Well, I think you're also, like I said, in a bit of a hangover from the year, if you think about it, December is the busiest for most people. It's crazy, right? It's filled with parties. It's filled with work responsibilities. It's filled with family obligations, holidays, all of these things that keep us going, going, going. I mean, I've always found it almost counterintuitive because it's also
00:05:08
Speaker
December is when winter solstice takes place and that really is the season for wintering. It's a time that we're supposed to go inward. It's a time we're supposed to slow down a little bit. It's a time we're supposed to reflect. It's actually not a time that we're supposed to manifest a lot.
00:05:26
Speaker
And when I started kind of honoring that energy and fighting against myself so much, I found I didn't get as sick as often. I found that when I gave myself permission to actually allow myself to kind of winter in December, my body was in more alignment. It's definitely a juggling act because you have to juggle the social events and the holidays and all of those things.
00:05:51
Speaker
But I found that when I started setting the intention to slow down a little bit, to get a little cozier, to not try to do much of anything in December other than what are those familial obligations? What are those holiday obligations? That really helped. And then when I get to like January 1st, I just kind of feel like I'm in a bit of this like sludge energy, a little bit of hangover that I have to kind of shake out before I can really
00:06:21
Speaker
dive in and have any ambition and have any energy.
From Resolutions to Intentions
00:06:25
Speaker
And I also start thinking and reflecting on what I want to release in December, like what I don't want to bring into the new year with me so I can create a little space and carve out a little time to like actually manifest some of those intentions that I have.
00:06:46
Speaker
Yeah. So, so where are you at right now with your, your intentions for 2024? Well, we're in February, so I'm on fire. I'm actually very excited. But January was definitely a month where I was, I was tired in January. I knew what the, I was really exhausted. I like the Mac truck.
00:07:06
Speaker
Yeah, that's how I felt as well. I knew the intentions I wanted to usher in to this new year, but I had no physical energy to do it. I really was in this phase of where I was really sitting into this new energy. I could feel the energy. I could feel it coming.
00:07:22
Speaker
And then literally February came and all of a sudden I had the energy to start taking some action. So I'm actually really feeling really excited because I feel like I'm ready to manifest some goals that I've had for myself professionally, this podcast being one of them.
00:07:40
Speaker
And I feel like I have the mental energy and I also feel like I have the physical wherewithal to do it. And I also feel like I'm in a healthier stage with intentions. Like I don't set resolutions for myself anymore. I set intentions for what I want.
00:07:57
Speaker
for the new year and I think I'm in a better place of setting more, even if it's something big I'm working towards, I'm able to distill it down to smaller steps. I'm able to understand that I may not accomplish all of it this year, but if I can start to make some steps towards what I'm trying to achieve and allow for whatever outcome comes out of that, I am much
Personal Intentions for 2024
00:08:24
Speaker
happier.
00:08:24
Speaker
And so I definitely feel like I'm in a healthier, I feel like I had a bad boyfriend, resolutions were my bad boyfriend and I finally broke up with him. And so I finally found the more stable guy in his name or intentions.
00:08:40
Speaker
Instead of. It's easy to be with. Just someone it's easy to be with. Exactly. Somebody who accepts me for who I am and doesn't have super intense expectations of me as well. Maybe ones that are slightly unrealistic for sure. How about you? Where are you at with it?
00:08:59
Speaker
Um, I'm kind of in the same boat. Like January, I was really tired and, and this year I'm doing something a little different. Like I decided to choose a word and I chose the word movement as my intention. And I'm.
00:09:13
Speaker
applying that word to different things in my life that I need to make movement on. So movement on my physical health, like being actually making those doctor's appointments. I'm not the best at that. I've been to my dermatologist this month. I've been to my OB this month.
00:09:33
Speaker
Making movement on my physical health. I've been started my yoga practice I'm a two weeks into a daily yoga practice, which I had totally let fall to the wayside So trying to get more physical movement and then also just movement in my creative life projects that I've been dragging out trying to
00:09:54
Speaker
to wrap them up or make intentional movement forward on them. And then also just being a part of the movement, definitely investing energy and activism because that's just part of my nature. But I did feel like I set this intention and then I was like, okay, let's do it. And so February, it was like a million doctors appointments, a million meetings,
00:10:22
Speaker
And it just, it has been overwhelming my February on fire, so to speak. And so now I'm like, okay, maybe we need to like work the word balance into this movement and be more intentional. You know, you actually think of it as an intention, like, okay, man, you don't have to do it all at once at the beginning of the year. Like this is a whole year long process. You can, you can move a little slower with it.
00:10:47
Speaker
Well, I like the idea of intention because it allows for multiple outcomes. And that was one of the things I kind of I didn't have a word per se, but I definitely had kind of a tone that I wanted. And one of the
00:11:02
Speaker
one of the most important things that I keep, it keeps presenting itself to me already, and that I'm truly trying to apply more this year is releasing my attachment to the outcome. I have really clear intentions on what I want to accomplish this year. I have really clear intentions on what I wanna manifest, but once I have set those intentions, I'm working right now to allow a little bit more space
00:11:32
Speaker
And release just release my attachment to what the outcome looks like to like allow for more of an unfolding process. Yeah. Relax a little bit because I'm not a very relaxed person. I'm actually a fairly type A person. Like once I commit to something, I'm like a dog with a bone. Like I just can't stop.
00:11:49
Speaker
But I often wear myself out or get frustrated and I'm just really trying to, which is not always an easy process, but I am trying to just institute a little bit more allowing into the process so that I can let it unfold and just be a little bit more open to
00:12:09
Speaker
what might come my way or what the outcome might look like because I think the reason why I don't set resolutions anymore and don't really believe in them is I think that there's this intrinsic nature to a resolution that implies gripping. It implies I'm going to resolve my way. I'm going to will my way into something.
00:12:31
Speaker
And I don't believe that we manifest anything from a place of will. I think we feel our way into it. We don't will our way into it. And if you don't allow space for a variety of different outcomes or if you don't allow space to allow yourself to just feel all the emotions that rise up when we start doing, you know, when we start working towards something we want,
00:12:53
Speaker
because nothing comes easy, right?
Cultural Implications of Resolutions
00:12:56
Speaker
You don't really achieve anything. And I actually think that's probably one of the primary reason why a lot of people kind of fall, why resolutions kind of fall by the wayside. One is the content of them, like what's, you know, how are they aligned with you? But the other is this idea of this like grip that I'm just going to like will and push my way through. And I actually think that we achieve much more when we soften.
00:13:20
Speaker
When we find like that middle space, that little minutes middle space we talked about at yoga, the middle space between effort and ease that like softer spot. That's for me why I don't really, I don't love the word resolution. Yeah. I don't, I don't like it either. And I don't think that.
00:13:40
Speaker
If you're going to, if you're going to try to do something for a year, you need to make it, you need to make it something easy. It does not necessarily be easy, but I think it has to, it has to not feel like a chore. It has to feel like, um,
00:13:59
Speaker
I don't know. Life is, there's enough chores. Okay. Adulting is hard. We all have a lot of chores. And the last thing you want to do is make something that is supposed to benefit you and make you better in some way.
00:14:14
Speaker
You know, make it make it feel miserable, you know, make it feel like it's an obstacle that you're trying to push a boulder up a hill, you know, versus just being that water moving around the boulder.
00:14:30
Speaker
Absolutely. And I think also to allowing for a little bit of curiosity, that's the other aspect I'm trying to kind of put in there. Because I think that sometimes we might set an intention, we might say, oh, we really want this and we want to go after it. But we have to, I think, allow for the possibility that maybe it's not the best thing for us, or maybe the way we have designed to get there isn't the most holistic for us.
00:14:56
Speaker
maybe a particular form of exercise isn't great for our body, even though we thought it would be. I think that we just have to allow, like you said, a little bit of space, a little bit of flow in the water to get to the outcome that you are designing, which once again, I think comes back to that like place of allowing. And I love the idea that you kind of, instead of creating these like strict parameters that you just kind of created a word, right? I've been thinking about that a lot because I'm
00:15:26
Speaker
I have a lot of dietary restrictions like I have a lot of nutritional restrictions cuz I'm sensitive to gluten and I'm sensitive to nuts and I'm sensitive to seeds and it can be really challenging because it really limits what you're capable of eating and
00:15:43
Speaker
I recently realized I was trying to layer more restrictions on the way I ate so that I could achieve a certain physical outcome, so I could get in my best shape, so I could be my strongest. And I started realizing that I just needed to relax, to just release a little bit. Instead of thinking about what restrictions I need to put in place so I can lose something or gain something,
00:16:13
Speaker
I just started thinking about what do I need to nurture myself? What foods do I need to nurture my body? How can that nurturing also include moments of joy? Listen, it's a challenge. It's triggering for me. It's triggering me a little bit when I go to eat that way, when I'm not being concerned about how I do it or what format and if I'm combining certain foods. Because you know me, I'm a little bit of a nutritional buff.
00:16:41
Speaker
And I'm finding it really freeing. I'm finding moments of it that's really uncomfortable. So I can spend some time and I can really look at that. But it was this idea of just maybe what would happen if I just accepted myself as I am and what would happen if I just looked upon my physical movement and my food from a place of nourishment.
00:17:09
Speaker
And what would that look like? And I don't know 100% what it looks like because I've just started. But that's kind of like the tone. And that's the word I'm definitely implementing for myself this year is just nourishment. But I don't know exactly what that's going to look like. But I'm very curious as to how it feels along the way.
00:17:35
Speaker
I think thinking about, you know, you said the word nurture and how I think our intentions for the year when we set them should be nurturing and approached in that way. I think when I hear resolution, I think like grind culture, I think
00:17:53
Speaker
Yeah, like you are pushing hard. You have set your mark and you are hitting the ground running. And no matter what, you have that resolve to get it done. And I think we need to start thinking a little bit more about nurture culture. I think we need to find a way, a phrase to push back on
00:18:17
Speaker
on the grind in general. I mean, there's a lot of people, we are married to chefs. I don't know about your chef, but my chef loves grind culture. Yes.
Balancing Energies in Goal Achievement
00:18:27
Speaker
really loves it. Struggles to understand why I am not particularly aligned with it. But you get a lot done. I mean, you wear a lot of hats. Thank you. Clearly, it's working for you. Organized chaos. But I don't know. I think it's just the word resolution is hard. The grind is hard. And life
00:18:51
Speaker
I mean, life has suffering, life has struggle, but we shouldn't be making it harder. And I feel like intentions. It just sounds easier. It does sound easier. And I agree with you. I think that I think that.
00:19:07
Speaker
Some people are really powerful, like I'm a pretty powerful manifest, or I'm one of those people that if I set my mind to something, I make that happen. That is always something that has come pretty natural to me. But I also believe that you can manifest from a place of ego,
00:19:26
Speaker
you can manifest in a very unaligned way. So you have to be kind of mindful of that. That's why there's people who aren't very good people who can be very rich or very powerful. You set your mind to it, and if you're a powerful enough manifestor, you can absolutely actualize anything, but it doesn't necessarily mean what you're manifesting is actually good for you or what is in alignment with you.
00:19:49
Speaker
And that kind of gets back to the grind culture that you're talking about. Because if you're in this grinding mode and you're in this heavy, heavy production mode, there's not a lot of space for reflection. Nobody is reflecting when they are working 65 hours a week or when they're pushing their body to the brink.
00:20:06
Speaker
And I think sometimes we can also grind and push ourselves with goals or with things we want to manifest to avoid the healing or to avoid the work or to avoid the uncomfortable emotions or whatever it is we have. So I think when you can allow for a little bit more nourishment or nurturing, it actually allows a bit more space
00:20:32
Speaker
and time for you to reflect and actually pay attention to the signals your body is sending you to the thoughts and the emotions that are arising as you are trying to push through this work because I definitely believe there is a difference between an ego manifestation and a soul aligned manifestation.
00:20:50
Speaker
And intention is kind of the backbone of that, right? It's the spine. So what's your intention for doing something? Because if you have the right intention, like right intention matters, you're going to ask the right questions. You're going to explore the right avenues. So I think that that's why
00:21:09
Speaker
allowing a little bit more of a nurturing environment, you can still be immensely productive and you can be a powerful manifestor, but maybe then you start to manifest from a place that's actually more aligned with what your soul desires, what you actually need physically, emotionally, mentally, because you can absolutely will yourself into what on the surface maybe looks great. Maybe you will yourself into a beautiful new home.
00:21:38
Speaker
Maybe you've willed yourself into making a lot more money, but what if you're miserable doing it along the way, you know? So I think that or your health is at stake or all these other things are at stake because of, you know, I've worked in the restaurant industry for a long time.
00:21:56
Speaker
I worked 65 hours a week alongside my husband. And yes, we produced a very successful restaurant out of that. I also gained 30 pounds, was having regular anxiety attacks, had difficulty I'm sleeping. And it's not to say that that dream of that restaurant wasn't good for me because it was in so many ways and I healed myself in so many ways and it taught me so much about myself.
00:22:21
Speaker
It showed me what I was capable of, but it also almost single-handedly destroyed my health. And it wasn't until I slowed down and started to reflect a little bit and make some space for other things in my life that I was able to see that and I was able to start to get my health in order and manifest some other dreams. Like I was so focused on that dream. I didn't even have time to think about all the other dreams that I had that I wanted.
00:22:48
Speaker
that I really wanted to manifest. So I agree with you. I think that nurturing and slowing down gets a bad rap. And we tend to believe that we have this very like divine masculine, we have this masculine viewpoint on how you achieve goals.
00:23:06
Speaker
Yeah. I wonder why. I wonder why, exactly. But I think that what I've seen the most in the last, especially since 2020, is this balancing taking place between people honoring their divine feminine and their divine masculine energies in balance, because they should be in balance. I spent the last year in this really intense place of feminine flow, really working for my divine feminine, which meant I took my day
00:23:35
Speaker
Every day was a little bit different. I really flowed with where my energy is. I would do certain work depending upon where my energy levels were. And that was very productive for me. I got a lot out of it. And granted, I am self-employed, so I have the luxury of being able to
00:23:51
Speaker
you know, shape my schedule as I desire. But then I realized after a year of really focusing my energy on that, that it was time to start weaving in some more of that divine masculine energy, which is the structure and the stability
00:24:06
Speaker
But ideally, you have that creative female feminine flow supported by that masculine structure to really manifest things. And that has honestly nothing to do with gender. That just has to do with the two energies that are present in all of us.
Quantum Manifestation Explained
00:24:24
Speaker
But we tend to get one that kind of dominates and one that takes the supporting role.
00:24:32
Speaker
And ideally, we need to find this place of balancing between the two of those. And so I think when you take a gentler approach and a more reflective approach to what you want to manifest and what your intentions are, and that's why that month of January is so important, not just diving right in, you're going to, in the long run, achieve so much more. In my opinion, you're going to achieve so much more than somebody who grinds their way into it.
00:25:01
Speaker
Yeah, and thinking about just the different types of energy, right, and the importance of energetic alignment when you do choose to manifest or create change in your life. You know, I think that there is a
00:25:25
Speaker
I feel like, I know for me personally, I have to really keep myself in check because I am just, you know, we are indoctrinated from a young age to be in grind culture and to not listen to ourselves, but push through.
00:25:45
Speaker
do the thing that has been imposed on us because it's what we have to do and we have to do it a certain way. And if we don't do it a certain way, society is going to look down on us. And I think when you think about setting intentions and making changes in your life, it's so important for it to align with you as your own entity.
00:26:09
Speaker
you know and and not and try to let go of all the societal expectations on how to do how to achieve how to make. I'm in really think about. The different aspects of your own energetic system you know some people are more
00:26:26
Speaker
I think feminine aligned and masculine aligned, and some people are the opposite. And some people are a wonderful balance of both. And not that the other being one or the other is an imbalance, but everyone has their own energetic way of being. And I don't know, there's this phrase quantum manifestation I hear thrown around a lot. I don't really know what it means, but I have a feeling maybe you do.
00:26:52
Speaker
I do. I am a huge proponent of quantum manifestation. It's something that I was dabbling in, and I was practicing it for some time, but I was kind of practicing it in parts without really fully understanding what it was. And then I was working with a program called Align Within,
00:27:17
Speaker
And it was a really pivotal program for me to work with because it really helped me on my spiritual journey. And it was the first time I heard the phrase kind of coined as quantum manifestation. And it really helped me to put a language and a vocabulary to some of the work I was already doing and kind of created the system steps.
00:27:39
Speaker
And what I think it does in the most powerful way is it allows us to actually truly align with what is good for our soul, what we truly want to manifest. And the only way you do that is the only way that we can really align with our best intention is to do the healing that is required. So what quantum manifestation does differently than say other techniques of manifestation
00:28:06
Speaker
Is the first thing that it does is really address and look at what is holding you back because really the only difference between us actually accomplishing something or manifesting something is that we have to act differently right need to act in a different manner than you were acting before.
00:28:22
Speaker
But that's a little bit easier said than done. Like how do you make that step to actually act differently, to do things differently, to respond differently? And the biggest way that we need to do that is by really reflecting and creating space for ourselves to heal. So you take a situation like
00:28:41
Speaker
A curveball that's thrown your way or something that's really triggering to you when obstacles are thrown your way They're really just kinks in your energy field that want to be smoothed out and they typically rise up in the form of fears Like oh, I'm not good enough to I'm not good enough to have my own podcast or no one's gonna want to listen to me What do I have to say, you know, that's a fear that's rooted deep down within you so
00:29:07
Speaker
The work in
Healing and Manifestation
00:29:08
Speaker
quantum manifestation is to sit and to get still and try to look at the core of what that fear is so that you can smooth it out. Because each time a fear rises to the surface, it's an invitation to smooth it so that you can actually step into the frequency that is aligned with the frequency of what you want to achieve.
00:29:29
Speaker
And the only way you can do that the way you hear people say that if you really want to manifest something you need to be able to feel into it right you need to be able to feel that visceral experience in your body of what it would feel like to achieve it. But the way we do that is by smoothing out those kinks and our energy field and the kinks are their fears and they rise up for a reason.
00:29:48
Speaker
So rather than let's say a fear rising up and giving you anxiety and you kind of just push it away and maybe pushing it away is even something as simple as oh I exercise so I don't feel as anxious or I do this so I don't feel as anxious or I read and it's not that those distractions aren't timed and needed at times but to really do that work you need to go through the steps of really examining that fear and the other component is
00:30:14
Speaker
to quantum manifestation is that it heals not just this life, but it heals past lives as well. It really works in the quantum. So the steps that I always take is that when a fear or an emotion or something has risen up, I close my eyes.
00:30:31
Speaker
and I identify where the source of it is in my body. I literally ask myself in my head, where is the source of this in my body? Where is the seed is what I always say, where it's planted. And I always find it leads me to, it typically leads me to a chakra, so like an energy point in the body. But that almost, there's of course, useful information and knowing that and understanding what chakra it's located in. But really, the most important thing, even if you don't know anything about that,
00:31:00
Speaker
It's the seeing. It's knowing where it lives within the body. And I think having the conversation with yourself. Having the conversation. People don't ask themselves anything. And your body will provide the answer. It will lead you to exactly where it is. So once I know where the location is, I just kind of watch it.
00:31:20
Speaker
I don't try to push the emotion away. I let it kind of dissolve. And that's what happens is I'll watch it for a few moments. I'll watch it. What does that mean? Like you're like looking at your boob. Like, is it in my heart? No, what I mean is that so you're looking for where the emotion stored in the body. So I kind of identify, let's say I hear it's like in my chest, like in my heart center or my throat. And then I just watch the emotion. I just sit quietly and let myself experience it.
00:31:45
Speaker
And maybe that involves crying. Maybe that involves sadness. But what ends up happening when you just kind of observe it is that A, you realize you're separate from it. And B, it starts to soften and it starts to dissolve. So once that process starts, I then ask myself, like now I ask myself, what's the source?
00:32:05
Speaker
of this. And I'm always like 99.9% of the time then led to like a childhood experience. Like your parents. Let me guess. Yes, like your parents. Often it's there. I'm almost always presented with whatever the scenario is. And then listen, you know, I do energetic healing for a living. So I send Reiki to it. I send healing to it. But even if you don't do that, you can still send healing to it. You can send an affirmation to it.
00:32:35
Speaker
You can go into that experience that you're watching and go hug that little girl and tell her that she's loved and tell her that it's okay. And then I'll often ask too, like I think about it as I'm, there's ancestral healing, there's, you can heal for your parents, for their parents.
00:32:52
Speaker
And so I'll often then see what's the healing, why did they experience it? Why did your parent act in such a way? And I try to send love and healing to them. And I think if a person does just that, they're going to experience a tremendous amount of healing.
00:33:09
Speaker
I then take it to the next level and I ask what that past life source is. And if you can't do that, that's fine. It doesn't really matter. I think that first layer of healing is really just seeing it, sitting with it, and kind of identifying the source. And every single time I do that,
00:33:25
Speaker
all of the discomfort just starts to melt away. And once you do that, that resistance starts to melt away. And then once you've done that, you've softened one of those kinks in your energy field and you're able to reenter into the situation. And listen, you know, we heal, I always say like our body's kind of like an onion, like a layer of it will reveal itself to you that's ready to be healed.
00:33:48
Speaker
And then you'll do that healing and you'll be like, Oh, I got this. Like I'm amazing. I'm totally healed from this. And then like 16 months, six months later, you get smacked in the face with that problem again or that sensation rises triggering happens. The triggering happens, but the difference is, is that every single time we bring our awareness to it and our attention to it.
00:34:08
Speaker
a level of healing takes place. Another layer is stripped away. So its grip on you has lessened. So when I do that work, I'm then able to act differently, to respond differently. So healing is intrinsic to the process of manifestation. And that's how you truly, in my opinion, how you heal and how you actually align with what is in alignment with your soul, with your true desire, not just like, I want to have a
Emotional Work and Flexibility
00:34:36
Speaker
rockin' body. Nothing wrong with wanting to have a rockin' body.
00:34:38
Speaker
But I think asking yourself why you want to have the rocking body is really important. Do you want to have a rocking body because you don't think you're worthy of love if you don't look a certain way? That's a very different question than I want to be strong. I want to really take care of myself. I want to see where I can, you know, I want to push myself athletically. They're very different intentions set. And I can tell you most great athletes are not doing it because they want to have a rocking body, right?
00:35:04
Speaker
Their intention is to develop themselves, to excel physically in some form. And so their intention is really different than a person who just wants to be skinny. I'm not shaming anybody who wants to be skinny, but that intention matters, right? It really, really matters. So I can certainly
00:35:26
Speaker
eat in a really restrictive manner and work out in a really restrictive manner, and I can 100% manifest the body I want. But if that is not aligned with my soul, it's not going to last and more pain will rise up and more issues will rise up. So the idea is that we allow healing to take place so that we can align with what really matters to us. So that's, in my opinion, how
00:35:49
Speaker
That's how I use quantum manifestation. I work with a lot of my clients on that. And you can do it in stages. You don't have to be intimidated by the fact that you don't have to send Reiki or you don't have to send energy. You don't have to do anything. Every person has 100% within them the power to heal themselves. And they also have their own intuitive gifts that they can tap into. You know. You know. You get quiet and you look at things. You know. The answers are there.
00:36:16
Speaker
Yeah, and I think this idea that if you want to make real change, if you want to manifest real change in your life, you've got to change your internal vibe to allow that to take place. If you're holding a lot of
00:36:36
Speaker
energy baggage inside of you. Like you said, you aren't going to make that change in a healthy way. You've got to let go. You've got to move through some of the internal challenges that we all carry for a million reasons. Things happen in our childhood.
00:36:56
Speaker
Traumas that happened later in life that we had no control over. I mean my god, we just went through a global pandemic And it's so important just to Take the time to listen to yourself Listen to yourself, you know, if you aren't listening to yourself you really can't You you really can't listen to anyone to be frank and moving forward in life in a healthy way and Manifesting the dreams that you want
00:37:27
Speaker
They just aren't going to come. They aren't going to come in a way that aligns with your happiness. I know so many successful rich people who have it all and they are miserable. They're miserable. They're miserable. I also think it's not really sustainable, right? If it's not in alignment with us, it's not really sustainable. One of the other ways that I think you can kind of get to the core of that healing, let's say you're not a person who's comfortable sitting down and closing your eyes and taking the steps that I just said, I get it. That's not for everybody. It's not for everybody. It's not for everybody.
00:37:56
Speaker
And sometimes we have to move energy in our body first to get to a place where we can sit still. But one of the other methods that I think that everybody can do is, I call it soul writing. A lot of people call it morning minutes when you literally just sit down and you just start writing stream of consciousness. And that might mean for the first minute you're writing, I don't know what to write on this paper. Like when I started doing this, that's what I was doing. But now I sit every morning and I just put pen to paper.
00:38:25
Speaker
I just start writing and it is Unbelievable what comes out and when I actually post like sometimes I'll start with the question and I'll pose you know Why am I feeling this way or what do I whatever? I can pose some question to it and then I just start writing and the truth will surface and
00:38:45
Speaker
If you start asking yourself the right questions, it will surface. And the simple process, that's an act of seeing in and of itself, just writing it. We cast spells with spelling. I remember my teacher used to say that. If you want to put something into action and you want to truly understand, just start writing and let it just flow through you. Don't worry about grammar. Don't worry about whether it's good. It's literally just purging.
00:39:12
Speaker
And once some of that, like the gook on the top purges out, you'll get to the kernels of truth. And that is an act of seeing. That is an act of seeing. And it's also, I think, an act of expelling. And I'd be curious. I mean, you're a writer. So I'm curious if you practice that or what your thoughts are on that.
00:39:30
Speaker
Yeah, I mean I've kept a journal. I have all my journals since I was 10 years old and I have a daily writing practice I write in the morning and I do just what you said. I just sometimes it's like you know I write about like the shitty night's sleep I had and then I write about how that's gonna affect my day and then it evolves into something else and
00:39:51
Speaker
It's for me and it's a it's honestly it's for me. It's an easier way of talking and listening to myself than sitting and in feeling and It often times it provides me that The prompt I need when I do sit and I and I do do that more quiet energetic work
00:40:17
Speaker
through my writing, I often find the question that I pose to myself in those quiet spaces. And, you know, I think in thinking about intentions and, you know, you said earlier, it's the act of doing something and doing something differently.
00:40:36
Speaker
to manifest something. I think we have this mindset like if you know we set this intention we're gonna do this thing every day or we're gonna do it three days a week and then maybe we do it for a few weeks and things are going smooth and then like for example like I'm gonna walk every day but then it like rains for a week
00:40:55
Speaker
And then you're like, fuck, I'm done. Like, I didn't do it. I didn't do it. It's over. And then you like, maybe it sputters back up a little bit, but you're already feeling defeated through no fault of your own, whatever it may be. But you know, that idea that you can always start back up as long as you, and you don't have to do it. You can do it different ways, different times. If in the morning doesn't work for you for, you know, journaling or
00:41:18
Speaker
You know, maybe it's later in the day before bed, but the key thing is just to do it. And they say that like to form a habit, you know, to make that change 21 days for something simple, like flossing. And you, you, you will have formed that habit for something bigger, more like 10 weeks, but also know if there are days where it doesn't happen, you just, you just pick back up. You just pick back up.
00:41:47
Speaker
You don't give up. That's, I think, really important. Agreed. And I think also, too, you pivot. Pivoting is a really important
00:41:58
Speaker
Pivoting is a really, really important skill set in life. It's a skill set at work that's incredibly important. It's a skill set with your family, with your children, with your friendships. You need to be able to have the ability to pivot because I think if your intention is I'm gonna walk every day, like you said, on the day that it rains and you can't walk, well, oh no, what am I supposed to do? If your intention is to move in some way, if your intention is to get physical, then maybe you sit down on a yoga mat in your living room for that day.
00:42:26
Speaker
Maybe you do some squats. Maybe you walk around your living room, whatever that is. Maybe you see vacuuming as a form of locking. Yes, exactly. But I also think, too, where that real big kernel comes up is, what are the emotions and frustrations that rise up when you can't do what you wanted to do? Because to me, that's where the kernel of growth really is, is, oh, why am I so frustrated in this? Why am I making such a big deal?
00:42:54
Speaker
Why is this so important to me? Does this mean do I not trust myself that I can just pick back up tomorrow? There's a lot of things that will, exactly, like a lot of things will rise up and to me that's where the healing happens. So if you heal the part of you that rises up in these moments of frustration,
00:43:13
Speaker
then you're going to get to the source of what you need faster. But you have to be able to look at that and allow for it, you know, allow some and allow for flexibility. Because once again, if you're like, I'm only going to get to my goal, if I walk five days a week, well, that's not really realistic. Because what happens when your kid is sick? Or what happens when it's raining? Or what happens when you or what happens when you injure yourself?
00:43:38
Speaker
What happens when you're into yourself? I remember years ago when I went back to practicing yoga regularly and for the first time I was experiencing relief from anxiety again. I was getting in touch with my body again. This was a few years into when we opened the restaurant.
00:43:55
Speaker
And it really, really helped me manage those things. And then I injured myself. I hurt my back. And I remember thinking, oh, no, I'm not going to be able to go to yoga. What am I going to do? This is terrible. This is this thing that's been making me OK. And without it, I'm not going to be OK.
00:44:13
Speaker
And what ended up happening is I just went into class and I just kind of took the shapes. Like I could barely bend over anymore. I couldn't push myself anymore. But I just still went into the space and I approached it from a really gentle place. And that injury ended up like a year later, I realized that I was stronger.
00:44:35
Speaker
I had gone deeper into my practice because I realized that I was kind of pushing my way through it. And my meditation practice started to evolve and open itself up to me. So sometimes that curve ball that is thrown to you is exactly what you need. That thing that makes you think you're off track. So once again, it helps you align to what you actually needed because that's
00:45:00
Speaker
We don't transform when things are easy. We don't transform when things are fluid. We transform when things are tough. And I mean, what is manifestation? I think manifestation is kind of a form of transformation, right?
00:45:16
Speaker
100%, 100%. Which would mean that it's not easy. Like transformation isn't ever easy. Nobody magically transforms. You transform through work. Whether that is emotional work, spiritual work, physical work, that's how we transform. That's how we grow.
00:45:34
Speaker
That's why we're here. So to think that you're going to manifest without any frustrations, without any sadness, without any difficulties is kind of absurd. But I mean, we all have it, right? We all love things that come easy.
00:45:55
Speaker
Absolutely. And I'm not saying that we don't ever get anything easy. Yeah. I do think we have periods of ease. Um, but generally speaking, the things, the meat of our lives, the things that we truly want do come typically out of difficulty. Yeah. Yeah. Struggle. Should a struggle, you know, I mean, what does a muscle do to develop? Yeah.
00:46:20
Speaker
Think about how muscle and when does the muscle actually build? Why it's resting? Think about that. I mean, that's really true. It's like you work out really hard and you work out that muscle group and you work it out to the point of exhaustion and it's building. It's actually creating little tears in the muscle, right?
00:46:41
Speaker
it's actually kind of damaging it. And then you're supposed to take a rest day because then all of a sudden those tears are repairing itself and the body starts to repair itself and it builds upon itself. So I had no idea. Do you know what I mean? Like it's kind of fascinating when you think about like what the body does to just physically muscle. So I really believe that it's the same thing when we're trying to manifest or build
00:47:05
Speaker
other aspects of our life that maybe don't involve our physical muscles is that there is an aspect of work, there is an aspect of tearing down, and then there is an aspect of building back up through rest and reflection.
Episode Wrap-Up
00:47:20
Speaker
Yeah. Well, speaking about muscles, I think next week we're going to be talking about flexing our creative muscles. I know. I'm very excited about this. Yeah. I'm pretty excited too.
00:47:33
Speaker
And I just want to say today has been really great. It has. It's been fun. Talk about manifesting something that we've been trying to, I mean, we started talking about this a year ago and I knew, I knew it was going to manifest. Like I could see it being such a beautiful relationship.
00:47:51
Speaker
But it did once again take time, right? It took time for you and I to be able to find the space and to be in a place where we were like really fully ready to take action and I don't think it's a coincidence that it's February.
00:48:05
Speaker
I don't either. It's my birthday month. We tried in January. Remember, we actually tried to do this in January. We tried in January. It did not work. We'll share that episode at some point. Exactly. We'll get there. Well, thank you for today, and thank you for you, and for all y'all listening out there. Thank you, friends. We will see you soon. I'll hear you soon. I'll feel you soon. I don't know. You're there. We know it.
00:48:34
Speaker
Don't forget to follow us on social at Everyday Mindful Podcast on Instagram and Facebook. And if you liked our little chat, please subscribe. It would be great if you gave us a review. All the stars, please. Same time, same place next week. Bye. Bye.