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19. Pivot With Purpose - With DelRae Messer
68 Plays5 years ago
DelRae Messer shares with us her journey from farm girl to Chiropractor and now being a multi-million dollar entrepreneur, all while raising her two girls as a single mom.
We talk about the many skills and tools she used to help her grow through each transition and hardship in her life, and use those challenges to Pivot With Purpose! She now teaches others these skills and trains for thousands on the subject.
If you've ever wanted to change your career but have been to afraid to take the leap, listen to DelRae on this podcast, and follow her on IG to learn even more!
DelRae Messer: IG @drdelrae or drdelrae@gmail.com
Link to Coloring Book she mentioned: https://www.headwatersrelief.org/initiatives/covid-19/
Music: www.oneplanetmusic.com IG @oneplanetmusic.fm
Production: Carlos Andres Londono
Kendra Rinaldi: www.griefgratitudeandthegrayinbetween.com
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Transcript
Career Investment Dilemma
00:00:01
Speaker
And so I really needed to start to analyze, you know, first of all, getting a $200,000 degree, you feel like you just have to then follow through with, you know, the business model that you chose and the profession that you chose. And it's almost expected. And I think a lot of people feel that way, you know, once you go to school for so long, pay a lot for a degree, but you find yourself in parts of it unhappy or unfulfilled.
Podcast Introduction
00:00:32
Speaker
Hello and welcome to Grief, Gratitude, and the Gray in Between podcast. This podcast is about exploring the grief that occurs at different times in our lives in which we have had major changes and transitions that literally shake us to the core and make us experience grief.
00:00:56
Speaker
I created this podcast for people to feel a little less hopeless and alone in their own grief process as they hear the stories of others who have had similar journeys. I'm Kendra Rinaldi, your host.
Meet Dr. Del Rey Messer
00:01:10
Speaker
Now let's dive right in to today's episode. Welcome to today's episode. I am so excited.
00:01:24
Speaker
at the same time, nervous. Yes, I get nervous too, to interview some of my guests. And today I have Dr. Del Rey Messer. Do you want to go by Dr. Del Rey today at the interview? Do you want to go by Del Rey? How should we refer to you, Ms. Del Rey? Del Rey is perfect. Thank you. Thank you, Del Rey.
00:01:46
Speaker
Just want to make sure because some people do prefer, you know, to still hear the doctor part of it. So just want to make sure. I know. So it's like everybody has their own choice. So Del Rey was kind enough to take some time out of her day to be able to be on this episode today.
Public Speaking and Identity Shift
00:02:06
Speaker
And we met in a conference in which she spoke over for over 10,000 people, I think that year. I don't know. It was like four years ago, I think.
00:02:16
Speaker
Um, and there were a lot of people in the audience and she just speaks with such grace and gives the, it makes it feel like she's talking just to you, even though she's talking to thousands of people. And she's an amazing trainer, but we're going to hear all this journey of her transition from Dr. Del Rey to Del Rey to, to maybe who she was formerly before Dr. So I'm so excited to have you Del Rey. Thank you. Yes. Thank you. I'm so happy to be here.
00:02:44
Speaker
Thank you so much for accepting the invitation. So take us a little bit into your journey, Delray. I heard an episode of David was interviewing you and heard a little bit about your life prior to becoming a doctor of chiropractic. So take us on that journey and share with us all the nuggets of gold that you'll have for our listeners.
00:03:10
Speaker
Well, I'm excited to share I grew up in a really small town in southwestern North Dakota on a family farm 45 miles from a town with groceries So did you guys grow your own
00:03:35
Speaker
produce in your farm or was it? Yeah, we had a family garden and like a huge family garden and it was my dad's brothers, four of his brothers and my grandma and grandpa.
00:03:45
Speaker
I think there were obviously benefits to growing up that way, work ethic. I was working at two. I was taught success principles of consistency and self-discipline. I think one of the greatest rewards that I had growing up that way was the level of uncertainty that I became really comfortable with. I was always surrounded by uncertainty because
00:04:08
Speaker
The crops that year were really dependent on the weather and every day was different. There was no really routine because farming doesn't work that way.
00:04:21
Speaker
So even though there's a routine to let's say you have a certain time in which you may wake up to milk the cows or feed the cows or things like that, there's still an uncertainty based on the weather or things like that.
Farm Life and Work Ethic
00:04:35
Speaker
Or because it changes depending on the crops or what is the uncertainty around that in farming? Yeah, farming in general is. It's just very challenging, especially small family farming.
00:04:46
Speaker
a lot of overhead, a lot of time, all hours of the day and seasons. So it's really Entrepreneurship 101. It was a perfect indicator of a mindset that I utilize today and teaching that concept of hard work and self-discipline and really caring for something more than yourself because we were responsible at a really young age for caring for animals to helping my dad. It was a really
00:05:17
Speaker
Incredible upbringing that way, and I had a lot of value from it, but some of the challenges were really a lot of the limiting beliefs in rural communities, whether it was don't shine too bright, very low financial thermostat. We grew up very humbly. An incredible upbringing. My parents are absolutely exceptional, but we grew up in a double-way trailer. The last kid to shower had a cold trickle of water. How many siblings? How many siblings then? I'm the oldest of four.
00:05:46
Speaker
You're the oldest. I am the oldest of four as well. So then you had to then. So the rushing into who was going to shower first was actually a big deal there, like in your home. Yeah, absolutely. We couldn't get family vacations because cows don't milk themselves. So it was as hard as I'm sure it was. For my parents, we had a really positive environment and
00:06:10
Speaker
my dad breathed a lot of belief into me. I was not a naturally talented athlete. I really struggled. Nothing really came naturally to me. I just worked very hard for it. So when I decided to be a track and cross country runner, a lot of the principles that he taught me
00:06:29
Speaker
about consistency, setting small goals, celebrating small wins, allowed me to be able to earn an academic and athletic scholarship. And that was very important to me because, you know, my parents, I didn't want to put the burden on them for college, for all of us. So I have put a lot of pressure on myself. I was a very high achiever. I needed to get a 4.0. I needed an academic and athletic scholarship. So I wouldn't put that burden on them.
00:06:58
Speaker
And that's when I started to formulate a lot of my belief systems around my identity.
00:07:05
Speaker
being wrapped up in achievement and being the best at things. And when some of the challenges came into my life shortly after high school, I had realized very quickly that that kind of life could very quickly lead to unfulfillment and unhappiness. I planned to go to chiropractic school, got accepted, and two months later found out that I was pregnant with my older daughter at 21.
00:07:35
Speaker
And so that's number one, something you don't do in a small town, very judged for it. And I felt a lot of guilt and shame around it. So I had adopted a limiting belief that I didn't deserve and didn't feel worthy or valuable enough of a healthy relationship and entered a lot of unhealthy relationships.
Balancing Motherhood and Career
00:08:00
Speaker
I didn't feel I deserved any better. Decided to go to chiropractic school with a three month old. And I think it was the first time in my life that I truly doubted my ability. I had never, you know, doubted my ability once I set my mind to something. But I had taken on a lot with a three month old and a first trimester of a graduate doctorate degree.
00:08:27
Speaker
Can I ask you, do you feel like when you were talking about the fact that you didn't feel like you deserved a healthy relationship and stuff, did you self-sabotage a lot of the relationships because of that? No, I didn't self-sabotage. I just lowered my standards and tolerated a lot of unhealthy behavior by choice because I really felt that's all I deserved. But this is also so important of what you're sharing because all this that you're
00:08:57
Speaker
you're going through is going to then build up to who you are now. So you went then to chiropractic school, you're here with a three month old. How would you juggle that transition of like, here you are a mom, you're going to get your degree. How did you do that? Who took care of your daughter? Like, how did you do that? How did you juggle that? Well, daycare, unfortunately, that was a large part of the guilt and shame that I carried for years because I was raised by a stay at home mom who was there for every moment.
00:09:27
Speaker
And my daughter, you know, I chose my career and I knew that I had to follow where my heart was pulling me. But I also then, you know, every day felt guilt that she was in daycare, you know, 12 hours a day. And I had to study, you know, so night times I would stay up until midnight to study. And, you know, I didn't have a lot of intentional time with her. And so, you know, a lot of that guilt was
00:09:56
Speaker
chipping away at me for years as I entered, you know, my profession and chiropractic. It takes a lot to start a new office and it was early mornings, late nights, marketing on the weekends. And it wasn't the healthiest work environment. And so I really needed to start to analyze, you know, first of all, getting a $200,000 degree
00:10:20
Speaker
you feel like you just have to then follow through with the business model that you chose and the profession that you chose. And it's almost expected. And I think a lot of people feel that way. Once you go to school for so long, pay a lot for a degree, but you find yourself in parts of it unhappy or unfulfilled.
Career Transition to Online Business
00:10:41
Speaker
I had at least for the time in my schooling and chiropractic,
00:10:46
Speaker
I did a lot of personal development and self-development. I sought out a mentor. I worked for chiropractors that were highly successful. So I had definitely built a lot of skills, but also knew at the end of the day I was going to be very unhappy and unfulfilled, only seeing my daughter an hour a night and continually only working to my own level of exhaustion.
00:11:15
Speaker
And I knew that my vision and my desire to travel and create more freedom of choice in my time, I would never be able to do so with four walls of an office space. And so I transitioned to an online business and I had really put my heart and soul into a nutrition and lifestyle weight loss nutrition solution in our system in the office. So I thought, well,
00:11:45
Speaker
I can do that online and I can cut out the middleman with the healthcare professional products and create my own. So I decided to dive into the nutraceutical and nutrition world and was left extremely disheartened with the lack of- You were creating your own line at your own, wow.
00:12:07
Speaker
That's a lot. Now, how far into you having been in your office and working did you kind of shift into this online model of trying to create your own nutraceuticals? About five years. Five years. So five years of just working away. So then how and how long did that period of time of your online, you know, nutraceutical business last?
00:12:27
Speaker
Well, I had tried a lot of things. I think you're like, you're like just a, yeah, you're a master of all trades. Let's call you Da Vinci. Hardly. You don't want to see my. I mean, that's the part of my mindset that I really am proud of, that I don't necessarily feel like
00:12:53
Speaker
Um, failing is a bad thing or trying new things because I feel like you figure out what you don't want in the process of trying. That is, that is so huge. Say, say that again, because people need to hear that more often of the fact of that failing is not really failing. Failures feedback. And yes, I learned more about what I didn't want, which actually allowed me to really hone in on what I enjoyed.
Embracing Uncertainty in Entrepreneurship
00:13:20
Speaker
in the process of entrepreneurship and actually where my strengths were. I learned a lot by trying a lot of different things and I very much started to understand the importance of aligning myself with either an opportunity where I could showcase my strengths or where they would go to work for me and I could balance out my, I call them growth opportunities, not weaknesses.
00:13:49
Speaker
So I could start to align myself with people and opportunities that would allow me to shine in those areas. And I struggled for a long time to align myself with both personal and professional relationships that allowed me to expand on my strengths and be supported and encouraged. And, you know, I think that was the hardest learning lesson. I was very much a people pleaser. I avoided conflict.
00:14:18
Speaker
I didn't know how to ask enough questions or watch behavior long enough to see someone's true character. And I stumbled through a lot of those personal and professional relationships until I could really come out the other side knowing who I was, what I stood for, what my values were, the type of character that I wanted to surround myself with. And that's when truly everything changed in my life is when I could identify that.
00:14:48
Speaker
because you had already seen enough of things that did not, that were not good, yes. And that is really important of being able to recognize people's character because a lot of times we don't know when people are trustworthy until somebody has been that way with us and that we start noticing a pattern that then another moment when something like that comes up or certain traits in somebody come up, that you're able to recognize when they're not really being,
00:15:16
Speaker
genuine or truthful or with integrity, correct? Like those kind of little traits that start coming up. Now in this whole process and this journey, you were talking about the farm being very unpredictable. How did that unpredictability of like your farm life and of everyday kind of being like that lead into then your unpredictability in
00:15:38
Speaker
in your work and in those kind of things later on? Well, it's the funniest subject to me because, you know, when you study basic human needs, you know, security and safety and certainty and significance, all of these things are very important to us as humans. It's actually woven into our DNA. And
00:16:04
Speaker
the problem with with entrepreneurship, trying something new and doing something new, especially as an adult, is we have really been programmed at an early age to fit into a box of, you know, really, our school system creates most of the time. And we have a system that literally sets us up for that. So we crave, you know, security in our
00:16:29
Speaker
in our salary and we crave, you know, significance in the work that we do and the challenge. And the titles, and the titles too, right? Yeah. So the challenge with, you know, moving into entrepreneurship or a level of uncertainty is that it's very uncomfortable. It's uncomfortable for people to not know what the outcome is going to be. You know, if you show up to a job and you do your work and
00:16:54
Speaker
You know, you clock in and you clock out, you're certain of what your paycheck is going to be. And in entrepreneurship, when you clock in and clock out, there are seasons to businesses, there are ebbs and flows. You know, if you've been in sales or commissions, you know this and you just, you get used to your paycheck being your effort and you're used to the uncertainty and it actually
00:17:21
Speaker
is something that ignites my energy and innovation and creativity. So I actually love, I love not knowing. And I think at the end of the day, I think if most of us embrace the fact that we can only be certain of uncertainty. And I think this pandemic and all of these unexpected events that have happened in our world in such a short period of time,
00:17:48
Speaker
If anybody actually thought they knew what their plan was going to be, I think they've quickly realized, or if you're listening and you resonate with them, you're so anxious and overwhelmed and feeling chaotic because you don't know what's going to happen. I'm kind of like, join the club. This is literally a human experience we're having is we don't know tomorrow. And the more we understand that there are certain things that we can control,
00:18:17
Speaker
and certain things that we can't, we'll start to divorce the outcome of what we desire in our plan and start to marry the process of progress and the daily journey that is fulfilling because we choose to grow ourselves and choose to hitch our fulfillment
00:18:37
Speaker
to service and contribution to others instead of hitch our happiness to our work or our identity as something that's outside of us. And it allows you to be able to navigate life with a purpose-driven vision, regardless of the external environment that goes
Tools for Personal Growth
00:18:57
Speaker
up. And regardless of the task, too, regardless of what the vehicle is, as long as your purpose is still the same,
00:19:03
Speaker
You can hop on a different car and still get to the same destination because your purpose is on point.
00:19:12
Speaker
Yeah, I got chills. So every single time I interview people, I get chills at certain points when things just kind of like resonate with me. When you were talking about the part of the uncertainty that people are, you know, that right now everybody's kind of living with and the fact that really nothing's guaranteed and that aspect that just kind of gave me chills because it's so true. And even though we know that every day and of course, this podcast, a lot of the people I interview have to do with
00:19:41
Speaker
death and grief or major, major changes in life that create that uncertainty, right? And that that's what makes us be kind of like, oh my gosh, this is not what I planned for. But that's the thing. That's life. We can only plan a certain amount, right? And we have to be ready to be able to kind of navigate those things and flow with it and have the tools available to help us
00:20:04
Speaker
You know, flow with it. So let's talk about those tools because this, this woman that, you know, who you are now is definitely very different than the woman that at 21 had those, you know, um, beliefs of a little bit of the shame and the guilt and so forth. So what happened in these years and what did you do to become and grow into, I mean, we're still growing, right? We continue. What are those tools that you've used?
Rewriting Limiting Beliefs
00:20:34
Speaker
I mean, there's so many, every really big challenge that I've had in my life. I always tell people, try to process and emotionally process faster to utilize the tools that you're going to gain from those experiences. That's called resilience. It's a toughness and it's a grit mindset. It's being able to absolutely feel
00:21:02
Speaker
the emotion behind the event and trauma and we have all of us carry them. We have small, medium and big size traumas in our life. Some most truly shape and define who we are and we either allow them to define us or we get to choose
00:21:24
Speaker
the story we attach to them. Fortunately, you know, I've always been able to look at every life experience or trauma and say, I'm so grateful that happened, because what I learned was I am so grateful for that event, because who I became, what it is now, like, those are the type of words I choose to use. I also want my daughters to understand that life is going to happen to them. And they're going to be
00:21:52
Speaker
these life events that they don't expect, but they get to choose how they respond to them, how they grow from them, how they choose to help others through theirs because they were able to overcome, you know, that challenge in their life and obstacle. And every part of those challenges shaped who I was becoming. But it wasn't until five and a half years ago that I actually was able to
00:22:18
Speaker
look into the future at who I literally am today as we talk on this podcast and say, that's who I want to be. And I didn't initially have the goal of like a certain amount of income. I couldn't even really conceptualize a million dollar income at that time because I mean, my financial thermostat was very low. I was very much struggling paycheck to paycheck.
00:22:46
Speaker
If not more, I was in $200,000 in student loan debt. So to conceptualize just income wasn't going to move me forward. It's not enough. And I think when people want better for their life and they want transformation and they want change, there's a lot of things that we can do to get us excited to change. And
00:23:12
Speaker
I mean, if you look on Google right now, the amount of personal development books and nutrition plans and exercise, everything's out there and it's available. Yet we have so many people suffering in silence with mental health challenges. We have people that are still living in grief and loss and we have people that are really struggling, especially right now. And when I, when my life looked like a lot of people's do today,
00:23:41
Speaker
so uncertain and I had really felt like a failure in a lot of ways. Several failed businesses, failed relationships. I felt like a failure as a mom. I felt like a failure in who I wanted to be because I just had made a lot of unhealthy choices out of fear and comfort.
00:24:04
Speaker
And the guilt and shame I had for that was profound. When I look in the mirror, I was embarrassed, not proud of the person that I saw. And so taking extreme ownership of that and actually forgiving myself first,
00:24:21
Speaker
And starting fresh, literally in a day, I made a decision that like my past is my past. I can do nothing about it. I can't change the past. So why am I living there? Why do I have guilt and shame for something I can't change? I literally can't change it. It's done.
00:24:41
Speaker
But what I can choose is how I choose to live my life from this day forward. And I know a lot of us say that, but when you hit pretty tough places in your life, you, it literally changes you and that moment.
00:24:54
Speaker
Crossroad. Yeah, it was a crossroad. It was a crossroad moment. It was one of those. You could choose. It's kind of like the choose your own ending. When you were talking about what you tell your girls about, whatever life things happen to them, that they get to choose how they do it. It just reminds me of those books when I was a kid, you know, that you choose your own ending. And it's really that. That's our life. And we can choose how we want it to go. And a lot of times people don't
00:25:19
Speaker
feel that or see that because they just they become a victim of their circumstances rather than making that shift and deciding to use that as leverage for that next part of their life, you know. So that is huge. Now, was there something specific that you read? What like what was it when you made that like what had happened that day in which you're like, OK, from now on forward, I'm not going to be dwelling on the past.
Servant Leadership and Teamwork
00:25:43
Speaker
This is a new Delray with you. Was there something specific?
00:25:47
Speaker
Well, I had made a decision to move on from a personal relationship and that was my decision. This is my life, a new one that I want to create with my girls. And when I looked in the mirror and I think a lot of people probably resonate with this and you look back and you're not super proud of the person that you see, there's reasons why. And I realized
00:26:13
Speaker
in that moment of forgiving myself that when I looked at who I had become, I realized it was because of the many stories I had told myself. I mean, they were limiting most of them. It was, I'm not worthy of unconditional love, because now I'm a single mom with two daughters from two different dads. I'm not, I really suppressed the fun and sexual side of me for so long because of where I grew up and how.
00:26:42
Speaker
was I felt like a failure. My identity was not who I was as a human, it was what I was doing in work. And that's a big difference between finding fulfillment in who you are versus your identity in climbing
00:27:00
Speaker
ladders of what we think is success, especially in the U.S. when it's flashed in front of us that we're going to be happier if we have all the things. You know, that X, Y, Z and the big events and the this and the... And the perfect marriage and the perfect house and the perfect car and the perfect, like, and that's the challenge is nothing is perfect. And everything outside of us has nothing to do with who we are. So I started to realize these limiting stories were
00:27:29
Speaker
they made me who I was. And if I chose to believe those stories, and many of them that were given to me by other people and, you know, my insecurities around who I was, I mean, what would people really think about me if I told them
00:27:46
Speaker
you know, I was a single mom with two daughters from two different dads. What would they think if I said, I love to explore fun and sexuality and I love to, you know, fall in love with. Or flirty or whatever. So I started to create like a new story for myself. And that's what I told myself every day is
00:28:11
Speaker
Yes, I am proudly a mom of two beautiful daughters. And that's a part of my story and my journey. And that's amazing. There are many people out there that didn't have their personal relationships go according to plan. And that's okay. But what did you learn from them? I learned boundaries. I learned what I didn't want. I learned
00:28:33
Speaker
I have to be the happiest version of myself before I align with a life partner. And most importantly, I blamed no one but myself for the situation I was in. And I took extreme ownership. You took ownership. That is big. And that is big because a lot of times we just kind of, you know, do the blame game and the circumstances. Oh, and it's because of this and it's because of that rather than just taking ownership of our
00:29:00
Speaker
of our current circumstances because they're based on decisions we've made. And that's okay. And it's okay to take ownership. It doesn't mean that you failed, right? It just gives you that opportunity to keep on growing. Now you do all this and you've learned all this. So now share with the listeners what it is you do now with all this knowledge and all this growth.
00:29:21
Speaker
So, you know, I feel like over those five and a half years, you know, I didn't become this person with one, like, magical course or, you know, just something overnight. It was in. You didn't take a magic film. You didn't take a little magic. Oh, man, there's not a quick fix.
00:29:44
Speaker
It's so funny too because when people do try and give me a recognition or praise or define me as my bio and what I've achieved, I'm like, that is just not it. I'm so different than my achievements. I really feel like all I want to share is the past five and a half years, I was a human having an experience just like other people, but I made literally millimeter shifts in my day
00:30:14
Speaker
that compounded to a massive result in transformation and change five and a half years later. The stories I used to tell myself, I was telling myself a new narrative now, and I was taking action that aligned with that new narrative. I was seeking out
00:30:32
Speaker
people that aligned with who I wanted to become. I started to serve and give back in ways that I never have before. I started to align with the new money mindset because I finally found in my mind and heart and soul and my entire being a healthy relationship with money, it's a tool to be able to do more good. So I started to visualize where I was going to be giving this abundance.
00:31:00
Speaker
how I was going to have more time with my girls to have experiences, how I was going to be able to stop and go anywhere to go volunteer after a natural disaster. I started to actually prioritize what was important to me because a new car was never going to do the type of action work that I did the first six months to a year of building this business. I got into a state of
00:31:27
Speaker
intense service and contribution and probably more than what most people are willing to comprehend, which is why most people don't have the results that they desire and the outcome they desire. Because most of the time we do just enough to think of what we deserve back in return. And that's one of the hardest parts about people getting into a side gig income or a
00:31:50
Speaker
this industry that we are a part of or looking for another opportunity and it's the first time maybe in an entrepreneurial journey and the challenge with that is
00:32:03
Speaker
It's not tit for tat. Like servant leadership doesn't keep score. You can't say, I work this many hours in a day as an entrepreneur and this is what comes back. It is literally more giving than you'll ever get back in return. And most people just aren't willing to do that amount of what they feel is work. The difference is that when you are aligned with your values and you're in a vehicle that allows
00:32:30
Speaker
your natural gifts and strengths to shine through and you're so aligned that your work becomes your purpose, you never feel like you're working. You literally feel like you have a gift to offer every day. And all you do is want to add value to people's lives, solve problems, allow them to shine brighter.
00:32:54
Speaker
And, you know, now with a team of just exceptional servant leaders, I've quickly realized my solo entrepreneur journey was so unfulfilling.
Purpose-Driven Work Environment
00:33:07
Speaker
And I was so unhappy because it was just me. Everything was about marketing me. It was about
00:33:16
Speaker
my effort, my results, my income, my brand. And it was miserable. I didn't want anything to be about me anymore. I knew if you're going to do anything great to truly impact this world, you need a team. You have to have a team. Every exceptional entrepreneur in business will tell you, and the ones that are exceptional always have an exceptional team. They also never take the credit because they know they could never do it alone.
00:33:46
Speaker
And that is how I choose to lead is it's not my team. It's a collective vision. It's our team. We do things together. I don't lead through authority. I'm not better than anybody else because I have a different rank on my badge.
00:34:03
Speaker
I'm not above anybody. I just have maybe more life experience and business experience than someone that doesn't make me ... It's not authoritative leadership. There's no hierarchy on my team.
00:34:18
Speaker
or our team, there are just humans that trust each other. And there are humans that have a common vision and they're humans that align with our values. And that doesn't mean I'm never going to make mistakes. I will make mistakes. Every human does. I don't always know.
00:34:37
Speaker
Yeah, and it's definitely during this time when we have to navigate so quickly and adapt so quickly. I try a lot of things that don't work. I've already shared that, so thankfully I have a very gracious team that allows me to do that. But we adapt together and I listen to them, I hear them, I see them, I value them. And so when you find that kind of work,
00:35:01
Speaker
And you find that kind of community and culture, it's what everybody wants. They just don't think it exists because so often people are merely tolerated. They're not seen or heard. They're not recognized. And we could go into so much with equality and diversity and
00:35:21
Speaker
inclusiveness and I know I'm like my I'm beaming my hand my face is so I just like my my mouth is hurting because I'm I am just as passionate as you are with how much I love the industry we're in and specifically the company we're we're aligned with and even though we're not part of we're still part of that big vision and team and so everything that you're saying is just
00:35:45
Speaker
gold because I feel that there are very small or few opportunities in which people are actually given the opportunity to build somebody else up and you know it's all this in the industry of in the world out there to be above others people are normally having to step on other people's beds to get on top.
00:36:08
Speaker
And everything that you're sharing about this team that you have, everybody is bringing each other's greatness to the surface. And that is how you grow. That is how you grow. It is so powerful. When I see who these leaders have become in the last even just two years, it's mind blowing. I have never seen people grow so fast as humans. And it's because when you're aligned in a collective whole,
00:36:38
Speaker
you can it literally multiplies. It doesn't add. It's not an addition factor. It's a multiplication factor. And that's the power of the business model we're in. And unfortunately, I had a you know, it lacked a lot of credibility because it lacked trust. But it's evolved. And especially during a time like this, when more people are looking for flexibility in their work to bridge an income gap, they're prioritizing health.
00:37:05
Speaker
they're looking and craving community and a place where they can actually, vulnerably share their challenges. Mental health is not about, you know, saying everything is okay all the time. It's actually being able to voice when it's not and that that's okay. And somebody's listening and validating your feelings about what you have going on in your life. And too often, our work has become way too professional.
00:37:34
Speaker
And every performance driven stat is achieved by a human that has personal challenges and struggles in their life. And I don't know why we ever thought that that couldn't affect our productivity and doesn't affect our productivity and work. And I see a day where companies are going to have to start valuing a human's balance and
00:38:03
Speaker
mental health and that they're not going to work at the cost of their health. And I think they do that strongly. More chills here. Just because, again, it's just not taking the person as a whole. They're only seeing in certain industries is just seeing somebody based on what their performance and a number and not that all of these things that we have going out of all the hardships that we have and
00:38:29
Speaker
And those struggles actually could create a sense of community, even in a workspace for people to know that others in your workspace, again, not talking even about the industry. If this environment that we share in our industry were to be translated into a regular industry, it would just completely shift everything because
00:38:49
Speaker
people will feel like, oh, it's okay for me to share that I don't have somebody to watch my child or that I was up late at night with my teething baby and that there's compassion and empathy because of what I'm going through, because others are also experiencing that and that it's okay, that it's okay to be going through that and at the same time being able to be productive in spite of that or with that. Well, and one step further, people will be more productive.
00:39:19
Speaker
They will be more productive. You want to go to work. Nobody, and that's a big misconception. Work is very important to a human experience. We very much value work. Like when people think that
00:39:34
Speaker
You know, people just want to take advantage of a system or whatever it is. It's very rare. Most people that I talk to absolutely want to contribute to their household. They want to find meaning and purpose in their work, but they don't have the right environment. Or, you know, unfortunately, we've settled for paychecks a lot because that's what we were taught. I mean, if you think about generations, our parents usually had one job and stuck to it.
00:40:01
Speaker
you know, and maybe had enough trust in a company to have a retirement. And then it started to change. There was very little job security, you know, and generationally, as we go on, it's very common for people to switch professions, to explore different career opportunities. It's actually encouraged because now, yeah, it wouldn't have been in the time of our parents.
00:40:24
Speaker
Exactly. So the world has evolved to be able to allow people to experience different. They think of the side gig economy and how big it is. We now have the ability to make money in the pockets of our day, take advantage of the online community and an opportunity. And that's powerful. We're in a really great place where people can have choices. But a lot of times we still don't have direction because we don't have clarity and where you don't have clarity, you don't have confidence.
Coaching for Resilience
00:40:53
Speaker
where you don't have confidence, you're never going to take action. We have to also start to understand where our values align. If you would have told me seven years ago that I would be in this industry, it was that you were absolutely crazy. There's no way I would ever be doing that.
00:41:11
Speaker
And it's because I only had an example of what did not resonate with me. So I decided to change it. I'm like, change the story. Why do you think you have to do it that way? And so when I set out, I said, our team is going to redefine how this industry has been looked upon for years and instead attract some of the highest quality entrepreneurs and entrepreneurial minds
00:41:41
Speaker
that are on this planet and give them a vehicle that leverages their impact, their time, and their income.
00:41:50
Speaker
Now, you use all these skills not only for your team, you also train other people, right? You coach people, not even just the ones that are in your team, correct? You go to different kinds of... You're set out as a speaker as well. So all this training in your own industry has led you to also help others in other jobs. So tell us a little bit about that.
00:42:14
Speaker
I know that people are going to want to get ahold of you. So I'll make sure to get all the information so that I can put it in the show notes so that they know how to reach you. So I didn't set out to be like a trainer, corporate trainer or anything like that. Some of these opportunities are just coming to me because I was in and.
00:42:33
Speaker
And I think anytime you build a team and an organization and leadership is a big part of my purpose and servant leadership. So I actually spoke to 2,000 employees yesterday virtually.
00:42:49
Speaker
and trained on a resilient mindset, pivoting with purpose, adaptability, and leadership. And I just related to them with my story and a lot of the challenges and how I overcame them and validated their feelings for how they're feeling right now during this time of uncertainty. So that was amazing. I love those opportunities. And then I have a six-week healthcare professional course right now. It's really a personal and self-development incubator. It's very unfortunate that most people don't know
00:43:19
Speaker
Some of the highest rates of suicides are in health care professionals. And it's because many times they are taking care of others and they're responsible for that sacrifice and family time and truly, again, work at the cost of their own health. And isn't that ironic?
Children's Emotional Processing Project
00:43:37
Speaker
Health care professionals are stressed and they have many, many challenges with mental health.
00:43:44
Speaker
You know, that's why I want to shed light on this because as I was working with so many leaders in these different professions, what I discovered was a lot of anxiety and depression and personal relationship turmoil. This isn't right. The people that are caring for people need to be our difference makers. They need to be nourished and in their body, mind and soul and not be sacrificing their entire life for their career.
00:44:14
Speaker
So that was very, very personal to me. We actually maxed out two groups.
00:44:19
Speaker
Oh, wow. So you just started it. This is an incubator. You just started it. And then it's already back. So then do you have another session then starting at another point in time? In six weeks. Yep. In another six weeks. OK. So make sure to put that in the show notes because people will have time if they're in the health care profession to be able to enroll to that. And what you were saying right there, just it sounded like the oxygen mask part. You know how they say you've got to put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you put it on your child.
00:44:48
Speaker
It seems that in that health care profession, it's people are serious too. Literally, in literal terms, even putting the oxygen mask on their patients and forgetting about themselves.
00:44:58
Speaker
That is wonderful that you're doing that. So thank you so much, Delray, and you've just given so many. We could keep on and on, but respecting your time and knowing that others are going to get more nuggets of your time and of your knowledge after, I'll make sure to just finish now to give you that space. I'm super passionate about contribution as well. And anybody that needs any help with mental health or emotional processing, I was
00:45:28
Speaker
able to fund and print children's coloring books on COVID and helping children emotionally process them. So I'd love to give you that link. It's all nonprofit. I received no proceeds from that. It all goes to the books.
Podcast Closing and Gratitude
00:45:42
Speaker
So I will definitely make sure to get you that info as well. Oh, that's wonderful. Thank you so much, Debrae. Thank you. And go and be with your daughters and whatever other part you have to do right now. So thank you so much again, my dear. Thank you, of course. Thank you.
00:46:03
Speaker
Thank you again so much for choosing to listen today. I hope that you can take away a few nuggets from today's episode that can bring you comfort in your times of grief. If so, it would mean so much to me if you would rate and comment on this episode. And if you feel inspired in some way to share it with someone who may need to hear this, please do so.
00:46:31
Speaker
Also, if you or someone you know has a story of grief and gratitude that should be shared so that others can be inspired as well, please reach out to me. And thanks once again for tuning into Grief Gratitude and the Gray in Between podcast. Have a beautiful day.