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32. In Joy there Is Strength -With Glory Salas
80 Plays5 years ago
Glory Salas, a mom of 3 beautiful children, shares with us her heartbreaking story . Her 5 year old daughter, Kassidy Grace, suffered a tragic accident that took her life.
Her story is one of love, resilience, and faith! It is her faith in God and the love and support of her family and friends that has helped her and her family in their grief journey. She also shares how joy and laughter give her strength, and how the biggest lesson she's learned is to live life to the fullest!
Contact Glory Salas: https://www.instagram.com/gloryjeanne__/
Contact Kendra Rinaldi to be a guest on the show or for a complimentary grief coaching session: https://www.griefgratitudeandthegrayinbetween.com/
Music Created by : https://www.oneplanetmusic.com/
Production: Carlos Andres Londono
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Transcript
Faith and Overcoming Adversity
00:00:01
Speaker
And this is my child that means more to me than anything in the world. And so that's why through everything, you know, everyone said she's not going to wake up. She's not, it's not going to happen. You know, I just held onto my faith and I just stood my ground, which I think
00:00:19
Speaker
No matter what the outcome comes, whether you get what you want or you get what you don't, I think the thing is we got to realize is that we still have to have faith in whatever you believe in. You still have to have faith in that source. And mine is obviously gone. And don't be shaken by what anyone else tells you or by what your eyes physically see.
Podcast Introduction
00:00:42
Speaker
Hello and welcome to Grief, Gratitude, and the Gray in Between podcast.
00:00:50
Speaker
This podcast is about exploring the grief that occurs at different times in our lives in which we have had major changes and transitions that literally shake us to the core and make us experience grief.
00:01:06
Speaker
I created this podcast for people to feel a little less hopeless and alone in their own grief process as they hear the stories of others who have had similar journeys. I'm Kendra Rinaldi, your host. Now, let's dive right in to today's episode.
Meet Gloria
00:01:29
Speaker
Welcome to today's episode. Today we have a new friend of mine, Gloria. Gloria and I have not ever met, but I had seen so many different posts of other people that I follow on Instagram sharing her story. And we happened to be partnered with the same health and wellness company. So I actually did get to see her on stage, but I didn't get to actually meet you, Gloria. But there was something about your story and just your
00:01:59
Speaker
presence and your journey that just kept kind of calling me. And that's why I reached out and I was just so grateful that you accepted to come on and share a little bit of your journey through this grief story that will be a tough one to talk about, but we will be giving lots of tools for people as they're listening as to how you have kept going in your day today. So welcome, Glory. Thank you for having me on.
00:02:29
Speaker
I'm so glad you're here. So, Gloria, a little bit about you. You're a mom of three. Tell us a little bit about yourself, your story. Yeah, you, Gloria. Okay. Yeah. My name's Gloria. I'm from central California, so Clovis, California. We like to call ourselves the heart of California. Board and raise. I had never heard that. Board and raise, yeah.
00:02:58
Speaker
And I've been married, it's going to be 10 years in September, September 12th. Oh, yeah. And I love, Gloria shared her little love story with me in our pre-interview. We got to talk before that, and it was just so cute because what's the other, you share the same name as your mother-in-law, right? Is that correct? Correct. Is that how it was? Yeah, correct. But just in a different language. There's Gloria, she's Gloria, right?
00:03:25
Speaker
Correct. Yeah. So she has a Spanish version. I love that. You are so awesome. Yeah. So I've been married. It will be September 12th for 10 years. And I got married really young. A lot of people are like, oh my gosh, you got married so young. I got married when I was 20, almost 21. And then I had my first daughter, Presley, right before I turned, what is it? See, let's see.
00:03:53
Speaker
Yeah, she's 2011. So right before I turned 21, actually. So she, she was a honeymoon baby. Too many, too many margaritas in Mexico. So yeah, she was a little bundle of surprise. And then I had
00:04:10
Speaker
My second born, Cassidy, two years later. And then I also have my son, Zane.
Balancing Career and Family
00:04:17
Speaker
And I just had him, oh gosh, he's four now. So he's my newest addition to our family. The little bundle of joy. And so you are an entrepreneur. You're an entrepreneur. You have your own online health and wellness company. What other things do you do and what other things are you passionate about?
00:04:39
Speaker
Um, so that's, you know, that's what's really interesting about the business, the health and wellness business that we're in. Um, I wasn't necessarily looking for it. Um, I was at a point in my life where, you know, I became such a young mom and my husband owns his own painting contracting business.
00:05:00
Speaker
That it was one of those decisions where it's like, okay I can't finish school because I need to be at home With our baby because it's more financially stable for me to stay at home And so that was kind of you know, a big sacrifice where I was just like, okay, so I'm I'm gonna do this I'm gonna be a stay-at-home mom
Identity Challenges and Motherhood
00:05:20
Speaker
Um, and then I had, you know, Cassidy. And so, um, I've been in sales my whole life. Um, I've, I've worked at, you know, many retail stores. I used to sell Mercedes bins for a couple of years. Um, so, you know, I just, I drive, what do you drive here? I did, I did, but I had once I had Cassidy.
00:05:44
Speaker
Then we had to get an SUV. I had to switch it in. I had to switch her in. Mom, vehicle. Oh, SUV. You didn't get a minivan. You didn't get the minivan. You went to an SUV. I couldn't do it. I was just like, you know what? I thought I could drive a minivan, but I can't do it. It has to be an SUV.
00:06:03
Speaker
It's so funny because I'm one of those at the same. I could do an SUV, but for some reason I could not. I just couldn't do it. My sister had one and she loved it and it was so convenient and so roomy. Now they changed, but I could see when I would ride it how convenient it was. Oh, totally. And the doors closing by themselves. When you're like, your hands are full with groceries and everything, I'm like, so convenient. I think it's more like, I don't think my husband would have liked to be driving the minivan if we weren't in it.
00:06:33
Speaker
That's the, that's really the reason. Exactly. Yeah. So then you, you're in sales or you're like, sorry, I always go into these challenges by the way. Yeah, no, I was in sales my whole life. My dad is so my dad is like a huge salesman. Like he does sales trains across the world, like Canada, Australia. He's very, very talented. He's been doing it for over 40 years. And so he always kind of instilled that in me.
00:07:01
Speaker
You know, like the customer service and how to talk to people and what to say and pretty much just treat people how you want to be treated, you know, and so that was just always instilled in me.
00:07:16
Speaker
i had zane and i was just kind of in a point in my life where i'm like do i go back to school like you know because like you know i feel like i need something like my you know i feel like when i think you and me were talking about this when you when you have a
00:07:32
Speaker
baby, um, almost like not necessarily a part of you dies, but it kind of does because then there's a grief component, an identity component. Exactly. And so you come into a new version of yourself where, you know, you can't always do what you want to do and you have to make sacrifices day in and day out to put your children first because they're obviously your priority.
00:07:57
Speaker
And so, you know, being such a young mom, I mean, you know, watching my friends, you know, when I'm 21, they're all going out and having, you know, cocktail hours and doing everything they want to do. And then me, I'm like, I have to plan it because I can't just.
00:08:13
Speaker
you know, go out with you girls, you know, or I can't, you know, just, I can't go to, you know, do regular things like everybody else. Not that I'm saying it's a, it's a bad thing, but it was a little rough on me. It was just different. Yeah, it was different. And you were coming of age. So you were coming to that age in which the thing like,
00:08:30
Speaker
Yeah, as everybody else was kind of entering into this adulthood age of like just the partying and stuff, you were coming into adulthood age of married and now with a child at that 21 years of age. So it was really different paths than your friend. Oh, completely. Yeah, completely. Because my girlfriend's just, I just turned 30, so my girlfriends are just getting married
00:08:53
Speaker
you know, some of them have, you know, a baby, some are on their second baby, and I'm already like ahead of the game, you know, so I'm like, I've already done all that, you know, so it's kind of funny, because now all my girlfriends look at me like a mama hen, they're like, Oh, she knows, you know, glory knows. Yeah, let's call her for advice. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. The veteran at the game of motherhood. Yeah, exactly. So
00:09:20
Speaker
You know, it was definitely, how do I put it? It was definitely a struggle because I was still trying to find something that fulfilled me, not necessarily, you know, I was good with my husband and then, you know, obviously my kids, but who glory is? Like what fulfills glory? Because at the end of the day, you know, yes, your wife,
00:09:45
Speaker
yes, you're a mom, but who is glory? Like you started out, you know, as one vessel, right? And so that is something that I struggled with for years, just figuring out, am I going to go back to school and get this big career? Um, you know, so that way I could say, Hey, you know, I finished school. So what am I going to do?
Discovering Isagenix
00:10:07
Speaker
And so, um, Isagenix came into my life.
00:10:11
Speaker
In 2018, I believe it was June 2018 late June through social media out of all things through through Instagram and at the time I was just like, you know really into fitness and I was just like, you know what like
00:10:28
Speaker
I'm a mom, but I want to be a hot mom. I want to be fit and I want to look good. I want to feel comfortable in my skin. I was working out all the time and I'd post my workout regimens just to show people what I was doing in my everyday life.
00:10:47
Speaker
somebody from LA reached out to me and was like, Oh my gosh, she would be perfect for my company. And I was just like, what is it? You know, cause the first thing you think is like, what do you want me to buy? You know? And so, um, it, it felt different though. I don't know how to explain it, but like, I just felt like this, almost like a tug, like,
00:11:13
Speaker
on my heart, like, okay, like listen to what this person has to say. So he's a personal trainer in Santa Monica, California. He also knows Medea. He enrolled in Medea, which a mutual friend of ours. And so yeah, so he, you know, I got on the phone with him and I heard him out and I was just like, you know, I don't necessarily need like this amazing weight loss transformation. I said, because I've been working out.
00:11:42
Speaker
Um, and I said, but you know what, my husband has been struggling with his health because at the time my husband was, you know, overweight, tired, nutrition, completely depleted. And we tried like everything. And, um, I was just like, okay, you know, it's 30 net 30 day money back guarantee. Like just try it. Like if you don't like it, we'll get your money back. It's pretty much risk-free. So he did it in his first month. He lost like 21 pounds and then it just kept going.
00:12:12
Speaker
I know, and these guys, by the way, disclaimer, this is like a disclaimer here. Yes, oh yes, totally. We're talking about our industry. Yeah, everybody's results are different. It's nutrition. Totally different. Your body is the one that, yeah, everybody's... That was not my end result in 30 days, but everybody's results are different based on what their body needs. Oh, yes, incredibly. Just to make sure. I'm just sharing a story. I'm trying to sell anything.
00:12:38
Speaker
No, no, no, no, no, I don't know, but it's good just to say, just to say, because as we mentioned the name of the company, we want to make sure we're compliant. So he had an amazing product experience. And then he was like- And then were you using the products for energy or anything like that too? So I was thinking like, this is just one type market thing. And my husband was like, Gloria, if you do this with me, it would just encourage me more.
00:13:07
Speaker
And it's easier when partners do things together and just try it. The accountability. Yeah. All right. So I started taking the products, not necessarily adjusting my diet, but I noticed that my energy levels were through the roof. I was able to keep up with my children. I wasn't wanting a nap in the middle of the day. I wasn't going for the coffee pot midday. And I started leaning out.
00:13:36
Speaker
and losing weight in areas that I never thought I was going to lose weight again after having kids. I was just like, okay, this is good stuff. At what point did you discover the community that was part of it? The reason we're talking about our health and wellness company too, because as I mentioned, that's how I found out about glory was through this. This is a big part because that aspect of community is and
00:14:04
Speaker
is still a huge part of this journey of her grief story that we'll touch into in a little bit. So when did you find out that there was, yeah, this community? So you find out about the products, then you find that you feel amazing. So step into that part. Yes. Okay. So I didn't really get into the community. I just, I really just thought it was like products, right? And so
00:14:31
Speaker
Emily Varvra, which I'm sure you know her. She's pretty, she's pretty amazing. She is a huge motivational speaker. Um, she's just epic. So she started reaching out to me on Instagram and she was just like, Hey, like, you know, we have mutual friends and she was just like, you know, um, I need to get you to an event. And I'm just like, huh?
00:14:53
Speaker
I was like, why? What's the big deal? So she just kept pursuing the relationship and we started messaging each other and then we got each other's number. And so finally she was like, well, I see that you're sharing isogenics with your friends and that's amazing, but I need to get you to an event.
00:15:15
Speaker
I didn't really know the business or what I was doing. I was just enjoying helping other people feel better. You were doing what most people do every single day. They recommend a restaurant and then you have no clue how many friends ended up going to that restaurant and how many friends of your friends ended up going to that restaurant because you told them to. So that is all we do is we refer people to something we love. So something you could take away that mysticism, but you really had no clue really what you were doing. I had no clue what I was doing.
00:15:45
Speaker
I had no clue the history about Isagenix, the history of the products. You know, I didn't know. So Medea, she finally got me to an event in April of, I think it was either April or May of 2019. It was ICU, which is, you know, kind of like their university where they really show you the community and the business and the aspect. And so, you know, I went not knowing what to expect.
00:16:14
Speaker
And I'm thinking it's going to be like a boring business conference. And it was completely different. Um, so I go and I'm sitting front row and Delray, um, I'm, you know, I think we had her on a couple of, yes, we had. She, it was one, I believe it was one of her first speaking events. And so she goes up and I'm just like, okay, what is, what is she going to talk about?
00:16:39
Speaker
And she's talking about her struggles in life and things she's had to overcome to get to where she is now. And it just resonated so much with me. And I remember I was just bawling my eyes out in the front row.
00:16:55
Speaker
And I'm looking around and I'm like, okay, like I'm crying. Hopefully no one thinks I'm weird, but like she just, everybody else was crying probably too. She just spoke so deeply like into my soul and I could just like relate with her so much and you know, then Emily gets on stage and she just like blows down the house and I am like completely in chills and I'm crying because just the like
00:17:28
Speaker
You could just feel their energy. And there's a soul aspect in what we do. There's a real true soul. And it's a connection that, yeah, it's a connection you feel with people because everybody, let me just say, I can't say everybody because I don't know everybody, but everybody I've at least met in our company is people with really high integrity. And just like in any other industry, I'm sure that there's people that maybe don't.
00:17:48
Speaker
How do you say it?
00:17:56
Speaker
people that are drawn to our company are people with amazing integrity. I would just say it's people that are wanting real genuine live connections and you could just feel
00:18:11
Speaker
these incredible women, their passion for serving people, you know, it's like, yes, you know, they're getting you on a product, but it's not just about the product. It's like, they want to serve you and see you become the best version of yourself. And so that is empowering. And like Emily says, like, if you're becoming 1% better every day, just 1%, then you're in the right direction.
00:18:38
Speaker
Um, and yeah, I mean, so that's just the type of things that they, they just poured into me that weekend. And, you know, I got to meet, uh, Jim, Jim and Kathy Cooper just walking around the hotel. I had no idea they were the owners of a billion dollar company. I'm just like, Oh, Hey, what's up.
00:18:54
Speaker
Like, you know, I saw your photo on the magazine, you know? No idea. No idea. Which is better. It's actually better when you don't know who you're meeting. Exactly. Because then you actually act like a person. You don't act like you know. So that's what's funny is because everyone's like, oh my gosh, you met the owner. And oh my gosh, you have your photo with this person and that person. I'm like, huh? Like I had no idea. You know what I mean? I'm like, oh, okay.
00:19:19
Speaker
They're like, I just met people. That's all I met. So now this aspect of community, and again, how I found out about you was through a post of Emily Vara, because she had posted something, I think, of your daughter, Cassidy, who we're going to talk about a little bit today, is not a little bit. That's really the main reason we are on this conversation, on this podcast today.
Tragedy Strikes: Cassidy's Passing
00:19:44
Speaker
But sharing even just our compensation plan, you know, she's like, what, five, I think, in like a video or something, sharing our, you know, and it's just like showing her heart. So Cassidy passed away and it was October? October? It was October 14th. So on this Sunday, it'll be 45 weeks.
00:20:07
Speaker
Yeah, and this is something when I was talking to you in the pre-interview that struck me because I was talking to you and your husband Christian was sitting there too and how you guys said the weeks and in that moment I got and I'm getting them again. I got to document my chills. I take a picture every single time. I'm getting them again. Here they are.
00:20:28
Speaker
I don't, yeah, I just took them. When you guys said that, something in my soul just like, oh, because how you guys said the weeks just, and we talked about this similarity of mentioning the weeks in surpassing, kind of like how we know how many weeks we're pregnant. And that just struck me. Even my legs now, goodness gracious, I should have shaved. I should have shaved because now my legs are also gone.
00:20:59
Speaker
And by the way, I enter these kind of little moments of sometimes lightheartedness in these conversations because talking about grief and death is not something that is easy. So interjecting sometimes things of humor, people listening and even for you, it just kind of brings us a little bit more at ease in moments like this that are hard to talk.
00:21:22
Speaker
That just resonated so much with me and it moved me when I heard you guys mention the number of weeks that had been since she had passed away. She was five years old when she died? Yeah, she was five and a half. Her birthday was this past June.
00:21:45
Speaker
June 1414 is when she would have been six. Yeah, she would have been six this summer. So we were probably going to talk more a little bit about all the little things that happened that people showed also Grayson and
00:22:04
Speaker
and a lot of compassion in your process. And there were some differences a little bit of when we talked before of how there were aspects that were not showing too much compassion in this whole process too. Yeah. So yeah. So do you want to talk a little bit about when you heard the news you were, and we don't have to say the name of the cruise line. Oh, yeah.
00:22:28
Speaker
You were on a cruise when you and your husband were about to get on cruise ship when you got the news that she was in the hospital and go from that point of what happened.
00:22:46
Speaker
mind boggling. So go ahead. I'll take it off. Take over whatever you want to start. And during that time, I really started diving into the business. And I love the thing about children is they really do watch everything you do. Um,
00:23:01
Speaker
But out of all my children, Cassidy was the most hands-on with everything I did. She would watch videos with me. She would learn about nutrition with me. And so we went to another event, which was celebration. That was in August. And I was just flying high right there on life. And we came back. And I remember we took the kids to, is it?
00:23:28
Speaker
moral day, moral day. Yeah, we took him to the beach and then we took him to the aquarium and then school is about to start. So she just started kindergarten. And then we were doing so amazing with Isagenix. We were having events and Emily, you know, hosted event for us. And it was just, our team was just on fire. And during that time, I would just say this now, like Emily and Cassidy
00:23:57
Speaker
I'm probably going to cry, I'm sorry. It's okay. They really bonded. It was like a little version of Emily, like really truly like a little version. They were like two peas in a pod. It's so cute because I've had friends that have been in Cassie's life since she was little.
00:24:24
Speaker
And one of my friends, her name's Jen, and she told Emily this story at Cassidy's funeral and she said, you know, she's like, I was her favorite auntie. And one day I said, Cassidy, who is your favorite auntie? And she's like,
00:24:43
Speaker
Emily is. And she's like, you've only known her for like four months and she's your favorite. She's just like, I'm sorry, but she is. And it's funny because, you know, they're just children are so honest, you know? And so, um, just watching Emily and Cassie together in their relationship, it was just so cute. You know, like they were just, I mean, they're both born in the same month. So I don't know if you believe it or kindred spirit. Yeah.
00:25:11
Speaker
Yes. Indered spirits. Exactly. I mean, they both love girly stuff, makeup, everything. She used to have Emily. She'd be like, can I have some of your lip gloss? And Emily would give her some. She's like, no, more, more, more. And she'd be like, girl, if I put any more, your face is going to be dripping with lip gloss. But they are so much alike. So all that was happening leading up to this event, right?
00:25:39
Speaker
And so our anniversary, um, like I was saying, September 12th, my husband, um, with his cousins, cause his cousins was super cool. They do isogenics with us. So it's kind of fun. Um, and so we all plan to cruise to Mexico. And so, um, Gosh, I, I, I remember that morning cause I know he got up early with her and he was cuddling her.
00:26:04
Speaker
And you know, I'm stressed out because his cousin showed up early and I'm like, ah, we're going to go. So we're throwing stuff. And I just remember Cassidy crying and she's just like, I really, really don't want you guys to go. And I remember he like kissed her and I kissed her and I was like, you know, we always come back, you know, like, um, we won't be gone long. Cause it was just a short turnaround cruise. And, um,
00:26:31
Speaker
You know, we left and on the way up, we have cameras. Um, and we were watching her and, you know, and her brother on the cameras and it was so cute. Um, you know, and so many of us, so we're, we're on the cruise. We probably are like an hour, maybe two hours out to see in my, my phone rings. And it's, it's a lady that, you know, has been with us for about five years. Um, she called it, but it wasn't her. It was a.
00:27:01
Speaker
It was Clovis police department. And they say, you know, there's been an incident in your home. And I instantly just like gulped. Like, I was like, wait, what? And she was like, you know, your daughter drowned in a bathtub. And I'm like, wait, what? And there's no pulse. And
The Aftermath and Community Support
00:27:27
Speaker
I just remember dropping to my knees and I threw the phone at Christian and I felt like I couldn't breathe. He grabs the phone and she says, well, we don't really know what happened. We just know that she drowned in the bathtub. We have no pulse right now. They're working on her. They're trying to revive her. I'm just thinking in my mind, how could this happen?
00:27:54
Speaker
What, you know, and just left, we just left your home. We just left your home. We weren't even gone like for maybe five hours, if that. And so I instantly am like, I got to get off the boat. I gotta get off the boat. I gotta get off the boat. I need to be with my baby. And so we go down, you know, we, we dial like the 911 emergency number or whatever.
00:28:20
Speaker
And they're like, well, you need to go down to customer service. I'm like customer service. So I'm in, you know, the grand hall room on, on this cruise ship, crying my eyes out, begging for pretty much mercy to get off this boat. And they were just like.
00:28:40
Speaker
here, we'll give you free phone service so you can make calls off off the boat. And I'm like, that was nice. That was nice. I would kind of say get sarcastically by the way after like, literally,
00:28:56
Speaker
I remember him, like he was crying. He's like, this is like, here, take this. I'm trying. I said, please let me talk to the captain. Please let me talk to the person underneath the captain. Please let me talk to somebody in charge. And they were like, no, unless it's like you're bleeding out or an accident or we're, we can't do anything for you. We can't get the coast guard out here. All this, all this crap. And I just looked at Christian and I was like, I'm jumping off the boat. And he was like, no, you're not. And I'm like,
00:29:26
Speaker
If I jump off this boat, guess what they're going to do? Call the Coast Guard. They're going to come save me. Then that's when you'll be able to get to where you need to get to at that moment. And then he was like, no, I need you. I can't lose you.
00:29:42
Speaker
And so. How long was that? Do you remember? I know time is very, if this is what I've noticed anytime I interview people and I ask how long, how long was it? And time is so, and even for myself when I've experienced moments of grief, I think seeing like forever and maybe it was only 15 minutes. So how long did it take for somebody to listen to you? Oh, it was like 30 minutes for sure. And I don't mean, I don't mean it in a bad way. I just mean that like people on the cruise ship were coming up to me and saying, help this woman.
00:30:11
Speaker
like if other people are noticing and they're like disturbed by like what's going on it's like come on you have me in a hallway you know i mean not a hallway a grand hallway where everyone's at crying my eyes out you know um so i called my dad so once i got the phone because my phone wasn't working anymore which i feel like was the grace of god that my phone even rang because no one had satellite service except for my phone
00:30:39
Speaker
which is crazy. And, um, so I got ahold of my dad. I said, I need you to, to be me. I need you to go make the decisions on my behalf. Cause I know that you can get it done. Like mentally, my dad, just like my dad, if something goes bad, I call my dad, my dad, he's very good at staying level headed in like extreme situations. So my dad calls me, he's like, they got a pulse, they worked on her.
00:31:07
Speaker
They got her, they got her, you know, they got her heart going, but we didn't really know how bad it was. We had no idea because no one was telling us anything. And so, um, we're just tossing and turning cause the cruise ships like, well, we'll let you off in the morning at Catalina Island, which is like a little Island off of LA. We'll, we'll let you out in the morning, you know, with everybody else.
00:31:32
Speaker
And I'm just like, this is ridiculous. Like you drop the anchor at five in the morning and you can't take a little boat out for us to get us off first. Like it was ridiculous. So the whole night we're at Christian stick to his stomach. That's my husband. He's sick to his stomach. I'm like literally having anxiety attack. And then the only thing that kept me like peace was like, um, like podcasts, like sermons.
00:31:59
Speaker
And so I just put in my earbuds and I was just listening to sermons. And I was like, I remember I had like my arm, I was like holding myself, like arms around me, holding myself, like hugging myself and just like, okay, I'm going to be okay. I'm going to be okay. And my husband, you know, he was stressing out cause he was like, okay, we're going to get to Catalina. Then we got to get a boat back to LA. And so we were all stressing out. We're like, by the time we get there.
00:32:25
Speaker
It's going to be the next day, you know? And so. That would have been like two days after, like at that moment, it'd be two days after you got the call. Exactly. So we started praying and his, you know, he's like, I need to call my friend, Justin, who's a pilot. I was like, do it. So he kept calling and calling and calling. He wasn't answering. And so finally he said, he told us that he felt in the pit of his stomach, something say, like, go pick up the phone. And so he typed up the phone and it was Christian and he told him,
00:32:56
Speaker
And he's like, I'm going to call the owners of my pilot company that he, you know, he flies their jets and say, Hey, this is a situation. Can you help me help this family? So five minutes he calls back and he's like, my boss gave it a go. Like I will come and pick you guys up first thing in the morning on Catalina Island and be ready.
00:33:19
Speaker
I still call him my Superman. I'm like, you're like a hero, always in my eyes for doing that. And this is a small business. Correct. This is a small business, a friend, a small business that took the time to do that. And so here's those contrasting components that kind of happen in this moment.
00:33:39
Speaker
hard moment, a moment of kind of being like, okay, we'll go to customer service type of thing. And here's free, free, free cell phone, free calls, which okay, that was, but contrasting to somebody jumping on an airplane. Here's a small business and they normally charge like $5,000 for a trip like that. And then you have, you know, probably a billion dollar company, right?
00:34:06
Speaker
I don't even mind saying it. They already know. Carnival. I don't even mind saying it. So you know what I'm saying? Like, you have a billion dollar company, right?
00:34:16
Speaker
And it's like, you would think that they'd be like, yeah, we could, we could lose some money and go back. We could afford to go back to, to be decent to these people that literally had the worst call of their life and the worst situation that could possibly happen to a person. You know, it was like literally stranded out at sea is literally what happened to us. And then you have a small company that's like, no, let's do the right thing and let's go and get this family. And we were thinking that we were going to get charged and
00:34:46
Speaker
They sent us a bill, but they waived all of it, and it says it in the same... And on the flip side, you had to pay to get off the boat when you did. Yes. But you were able to get that settled. Aside from the fact that it's a company, I think it just in general, I think it has to do with the fact that so many different people have to be reached in a bigger company sometimes, like, oh, talk to this person, and then that person has to talk to their person.
00:35:12
Speaker
while in a smaller company, you have authority to just decide right away, right? So it's kind of that aspect of, and it could have been any other, maybe any other cruise line that would have maybe same thing. We don't know. We don't know. This is just this particular experience, but that aspect of how many people you have to reach in order to get something done, right? That's a little bit of that contrast. I think it kind of stunk, like it not stunk, but like stink is
00:35:42
Speaker
It was like, they wouldn't even let us go above customer service. Like they were like, Nope, Nope, Nope. You're not important. Like, you know, and I think that was kind of where I was just like, okay, where's the human compassion here? Like, you know, I get it, but if you were in my shoes and I asked them this, if you were in my shoes, what would you do? And they're like, we can't do anything. I was just like, okay. You know, like I tried to like get a little empathy from them. So the next morning.
00:36:10
Speaker
right before we get off, they're like, Oh, no, no, no, no, you have to pay 800 and she has to pay 800 to, to, to literally get off the cruise. And I'm like, what? And they're like, Oh yeah, it's a, it's a, it's a debarking fee.
00:36:24
Speaker
I'm like, are you kidding me right now? This information is important, by the way. This information is super important because people need to know that if you really are stranded in seed, these are the kind of hoops you have to jump through to be able to get off. So if in case of emergency, you need to get off, these would be the kind of steps you'd have to do. So this is value for information. Always have extra money or a credit card because thank God we had a credit card that
00:36:51
Speaker
had money on it or they wouldn't have let us off, which is mind blowing to me. So we paid that. We have this emergency to go to, you know, you yourself were not bleeding, but you know, you had an emergency to attend. So you get out, you get Catalina, you get flown, you get home and then you get to the hospital. We literally get off the boat. We had to drive 45 minutes up to the top of this mountain on Catalina.
00:37:19
Speaker
And then he, it was so scary. I kid you not, it was probably like a mile long strip and you literally fly off the mountain. Oh my gosh. Don't recommend it. It's like, so it's kind of like doing the, um, what is it called? Gliding? Yeah. Kind of like that. Is that how it felt? It's literally like you're flying off a mountain in the middle. Yes. Yeah. But the airplane. Yes. So I was like, Oh my gosh. I remember I was just praying.
00:37:44
Speaker
I was like, please don't kill me. It was just a little sketchy. I'm not gonna lie. It was a little sketchy. So we made it home and my dad's best friend, Tim, he's like my second dad. I love him. Picks us up, drives us, he's driving us to the hospital.
00:38:04
Speaker
And finally because the doctors have been like wanting to talk to us, but they kind of knew where we were, but they were just frustrated because they wanted to make, um, you know, they wanted to make moves and they couldn't do it without our consent. So we got there.
00:38:20
Speaker
And I remember him, you know, I need to talk to you guys. Dr. Vargas, I love him so much. And he pulls up her brain scans and he's like, what do you see? And I said, well, I don't see anything. And he said, you know, unfortunately, she was left too long without oxygen and too long underneath the water that there's no life there.
00:38:49
Speaker
And I remember just crying and I pushed away the screen. I was like, nope. And he's like, no, we should, we should just, we should just call it today. I was like, absolutely not. And, um, I said, um, I'm not
Holding onto Hope and Faith
00:39:08
Speaker
doing that. I said, I'm not. And he's like, okay, well we can wait for the swelling to go down.
00:39:16
Speaker
And then we'll check again in 48 hours. We said, OK. And so I just remember thinking this can't be my life right now. This can't be me. You hear of people going through crazy stories like this, but you never think it would be you. Yeah, you never think that's going to be me.
00:39:43
Speaker
Right. And this is the thing for any parent listening. I mean, the fact that it was something that our children do every single day, which is take a bath or take a shower. It was something in as simple as a bath that this incident happened. And it's the things that just don't, you know, like,
00:40:04
Speaker
We just don't think that you know that it could happen. So everything right now is just surreal in this moment for you as you were hearing this news. It was still yeah. And you know, I didn't I didn't know like I didn't know what exactly happened because at that time I could only I can only process so much.
00:40:25
Speaker
You know, your, your, your body goes into like, and you, you know, you almost can only take so much information at a time, process so much. I feel like if you process all of it, you would just almost like crash, right? And so, you know, I just remember thinking how could this happen? You know, this is the woman watching our children and mind you, our parents,
00:40:54
Speaker
aren't really hands-on like grandparents and Christian's parents watch them when they can but they're older they're like in their 70s and so they can't watch them as much as like say like you know a mid-20s nanny right and so this woman you know was like family to us like our kids loved her so much and she you know was with them since they were like babies and
00:41:20
Speaker
And I just couldn't understand how this could happen, you know? And so I didn't, you know, as time progressed, you know, I believe in God and I just kept praying for a miracle up until like the very last minute. I never let my faith be shaken. You know, and I just held on to like, okay, God, I believe you're the God of miracles. Cause I've, I've personally, I've seen miracles in my life.
00:41:50
Speaker
Um, you know, as a child, when I, I'll just tell you, this is true story. As a child, when I was six years old, my mom ran over like my dog that I had since I was like two. And in a, in a trailblazer, which is like, um, like a, like an SUV and she didn't mean to do it, but she, she did. And she, not one wheel, but two wheels ran her over and she didn't see her.
00:42:15
Speaker
And I remember getting in the car and I ran and I saw her laying there and I started crying. And my dad just said, okay, Gloria, what do you do? And I'm like, okay, I'm going to start praying. So I remember I like put my hands on this dog. I started praying. I'm like, God, this dog means so much to me. Please save my dog.
00:42:39
Speaker
And we took the dog to the vet and I remember praying. I'm like, God, please don't let her have like one broken bone. Like, and she wasn't moving, like barely breathing. Right. And so we take her to the emergency vet and she was a Shelton or she was a collie, a miniature collie, super cute. Keisha was her name. And the vet said, you know, um, pulled my parents aside and they said, Hey, you know, you need to embrace her because this dog's probably not going to make it.
00:43:07
Speaker
and um...
00:43:11
Speaker
And so about four in the morning, the phone starts ringing, you know, the old school phones are like, I mean, it's still old school for you. And you're like 14 years younger than I am. I'm like, Oh my gosh. Okay. So at least I don't feel too old. The fact that I'm talking to somebody that knows what the bring. And it's the vet. And she said, I don't understand.
00:43:41
Speaker
what is going on. She's like, I have four sets of x-rays and your dog doesn't have one broken bone. And she's like, and she's walking and she's breathing and it's like nothing happened to her.
00:43:56
Speaker
And I knew that like God saved my dog. Like I, there's no way I physically saw, I physically saw her got ran over. There's no way a dog would survive that and not have one broken bone. So I literally to this day still have the X-rays because the people are like, yeah, whatever. I'm like, no, I have physical proof. You know? And so I just remember like in my mind during that time with Cassidy in the hospital, I was just like, okay, God, like that, that was a dog.
00:44:23
Speaker
that meant the world to me and this is my child that means more to me than anything in the world and so that's why through everything you know everyone said she's not going to wake up she's not it's not going to happen you know i just held onto my faith and i just stood my ground which i think you know um no matter what
00:44:47
Speaker
the outcome comes whether you get what you want or you get what you don't. I think the thing is we got to realize is that we still have to have faith in whatever you believe in. You still have to have faith in that source and mine is obviously gone.
00:45:00
Speaker
And, and don't be shaken by what anyone else tells you or by what your eyes physically see. Right. And so that, that to me was just something that my faith grew so much in that time in the hospital, the two weeks I was able to spend with her, which I'm so gracious for because I was able to, to sing to her and hold her. My husband was able to sleep with her every night. And we got that time with her that most parents don't get.
00:45:32
Speaker
if you lose a loved one in an accident or whatever, it's instant. You don't get that. And so we got that time in the hospital with her, even though she was sleeping, we still, we got that. And so- What a blessing. And that's the thing. Those are little mercies. And even though it was different than what you would have wanted, it still was feeling God's love in some way because you got that. Yeah. And then- Those two weeks with her.
00:45:50
Speaker
you know, or
00:46:02
Speaker
The other thing too is, you know, kind of how you heard about my story, right? So I remember Emily, you know, she was in Chicago with her best friend, Holly Demont. And I didn't want to ruin her vacation, but I called her and I had to tell her. I said, look, this is what's going on. And I don't know if you can be her or not, but this is what's going on. So, um,
00:46:30
Speaker
She started asking for prayer for her. And the next day she called me. She's like, I'm coming. She's like, I have to be with baby girl. And so she's... And this is somebody you had known only for up here since April. Yeah. You had only six months. I mean, physically. Yeah. Yeah. Physically. And so she came and Hayden too. I don't know if you know Hayden Barbara. He came too. Yes. And they brought me food and
00:46:58
Speaker
They, you know, helped feed my dogs and chucked all my kids and they were just like, whatever you need, like for here, you know? And then corporate isogenics. And this is just, I love our company because even though it's a billion dollar company, it's family owned. And so this just shows the morals and the integrity of our company. They heard about what happened.
00:47:27
Speaker
and through DoorDash they were sending me food and flowers and chocolates and like handwritten notes just seeing how much they love us and that they're praying for us and that meant so much to me because I'm like you know they don't have to do that but that they cared they cared enough to send flowers and they cared enough to send chocolate and food and just to make sure that like that we were you know okay and taking
00:47:57
Speaker
care of ourselves. And then just the Isagenix community, I had people from England and Australia and Canada and in all these other countries that Isagenix is in reaching out to me with these powerful prayers and uplifting messages. And I've never in my life have felt so much love and compassion that
00:48:26
Speaker
I tell people all the time that my heart in those moments was so broken, so broken. And during that time, everyone's love and compassion and prayers and just reaching out to me was like keeping my heart together. And it came down to the last test because the doctors, they told me, look, there's nothing we can do.
00:48:53
Speaker
I said, I am not doing what you are asking me to do unless you do every single test because if you want me to be able to sleep at night and put my head on a pillow, I said, you have to do every test possible. And so they did every test possible and it came down to, you know, you either
00:49:13
Speaker
take her off life support on your terms or the state's going to come in and do it for you. And that's because there's a, there's a statue, right? There's a certain amount of regulations where the law is in most states, except for New Jersey. It's a safety seat. Um, that if they say that you're clinically brain dead, not once, but twice, then there's a time period that you get. And then if you go past that time period, then they come in and they pretty much take your loved one from you.
00:49:44
Speaker
Yeah. They take all your rights away. They, they kick you out with hospital security unit. It's ugly. Yeah. And so, um, I just figured, so sad. She was born on June 14th. I figured she might as well leave on October 14th. And so, uh, that's the day we decided to do it. And, um,
00:50:08
Speaker
this beautiful we painted her nails and one of my really good friends, baby sister, she's Catholic and so she got this holy water from this beautiful chapel in France and we bathed her in it and we pretty much prepped her and everything we did her hair and all pretty the way she liked it
00:50:32
Speaker
And we put one of her favorite Minnie Mouse dresses on her. And yeah, she loves Minnie. She's so beautiful. And coming down to the moment, I didn't know what to expect. I was really, really scared because I'm like, I think I'm going to lose it. But I knew I didn't want to be alone.
00:50:57
Speaker
A lot of people don't know this but Emily was in there and Hayden was in there and my mom and my dad and Christian's parents were in there. And the reason why I had like Emily and Hayden in there because
00:51:11
Speaker
even though I only knew them for such a short amount of time, like that, that is like my family and they're like my family for life. Um, and they're, and they were so bonded to Cassidy that you knew that it would be also important not only for her, but even just for probably even Emily's own healing, you know, grief journey to, to be in that there. I mean, I mean, these people were like praying with me day in and day out and
00:51:38
Speaker
And, you know, if I, you know, Emily and he even be like, okay, like go home, take a shower, just try to get some sleep. And they would watch Cassidy for me because I have anxiety about leaving her. And so they would, they would watch her as I would, you know, go home and freshen up and try to try to take like a power nap just to kind of revive, you know. And so, um, leading up to that night, um,
00:52:05
Speaker
I was actually early in the morning, it was probably like 4.30 in the morning when everything happened. Because the hospital said the best time to do it is when no one's really there. So they're staying around 4.30. Yeah, it's more quiet, it's more peaceful. And so we're just playing peaceful music.
00:52:25
Speaker
You know, Christian got in the bed to hold her because he asked if he could and I was just holding her hand and they were explaining what they were doing as they're turning the machines off and stuff.
00:52:37
Speaker
And I just remember praying and everyone's praying and I was telling you earlier the pre-interview, but I just remember like so much peace coming over my body. Can you please describe? Yes, because that was another thing that I could relate to so well when you shared with me. Can you please share how it was that it felt for you in that moment?
00:53:04
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, so yeah, it's um So I just remember praying and in the Bible it talks about a piece which passes all understanding Which means it doesn't make sense like you can't explain what you feel and so the best I can explain is that I felt So much warmth and so much love that it almost was like numbing to my body Where I felt like I could roll up in a ball and go to sleep
Finding Peace and Purpose
00:53:34
Speaker
in that room in that moment with everything going on like I just felt so much peace and I was calm and centered and I just remember like wow like like I can breathe and I feel good like what is this you know and that's why you know I knew where Cassidy went
00:53:56
Speaker
I felt, it's almost like I felt them usher her in, you know what I mean? And I felt that presence there and it was the best feeling I've ever experienced in my life.
00:54:12
Speaker
to put it in those words and to be able to feel it, it just shifts everything, right? It just shifts the whole, and you mentioned even in our conversation that now you're not afraid of. I'm not afraid of death anymore, which is so crazy because as a child, like you watch movies and stuff, right? And then you see, you know, your grandparents pass away and you see people lose loved ones and you're like, oh my gosh, like the unknown is so scary.
00:54:41
Speaker
And then it's like, you don't know what to expect. And it's like, I remember my thing in the back of my mind, if someone asked me what's your biggest fear, I would have said death 100%. But now I look at life so differently. And I live my life so differently now where it's like,
00:55:01
Speaker
you know what like if someone doesn't want to be my friend I'm not losing sleep over it or you know what I mean or if someone's like you should live your life like this I'm like no I'm gonna live my life the way that I want to live my life and I'm not necessarily like in an ignorant way but I'm gonna live my life to the fullest where I feel like what I'm doing with my life is fulfilling
00:55:24
Speaker
It's fulfilling and it's inspiring and it's full of passion and I have integrity and kindness and love. I love deeper and I forgive more and I just look at life so differently now.
00:55:39
Speaker
It's almost like a blessing, but then you know how they say it's like a blessing and a curse. It's sweet and sour. The sour part is, yes, I lost my beautiful daughter, but she's in another life now.
00:55:58
Speaker
you know, a life that I know she's protected, I know that she's safe, I know that she's happy, and I still get little messages from her. You feel her. Yeah, you know. I still feel her. And so it's like I almost, you know, in certain situations, feel her more now than I did when she was physically here.
00:56:15
Speaker
Yes, yes. It's just so, it's like everything you're saying. I'm here so moved because it can relate. It's like you just, you're like, wait, I don't even have to pick up a phone. I just can just completely, just completely connect. Exactly. With, you know, with them, you know, for me as a them, because it's more than one person in my life, but that I have to connect with spiritually. But, but that, oh, it's just so, can you share the little anecdote of the tattoo of your husband's tattoo?
00:56:45
Speaker
Another really cool thing someone told me is that when you lose a loved one that you're so close to, that is your direct line to heaven. And I thought that was so beautiful because I'm like, Oh my gosh, I have like a direct line to heaven and that's where all my loved ones are, you know, and that's where I believe God is. And that's like a direct line, which is so powerful, you know?
00:57:10
Speaker
But Cassidy, so when Presley was born, Christian got a tattoo of our first born, Presley's name there. And Cassidy was like, how she got older, she was like, where's my name?
00:57:20
Speaker
Like, where's my name? You know, she's like, why is my name not there? And she would get so upset. So for her fifth birthday, Christian got her name tatted with a rose, which is her birth flower of June. And the artist said, you know, you really should put like two hummingbirds on your chest, you know, one resembling you, and one resembling your wife, you know, because you have your kids names there with the, you know, their birth flowers, and it would just be beautiful. So he did.
00:57:50
Speaker
And, um, but the hummingbirds he did on his chest, they specifically have red, red breast, um, paint on their chests. So they're a specific type of hummingbird.
00:58:02
Speaker
And so the day that she passed and where I live, I live in the city, so hummingbirds are a little rare to see. The day that she passed, a hummingbird were out in the yard, you know, crying, thinking about her. A hummingbird just appeared and started like flying in the front yard and then just shot straight up into the sky and completely disappeared.
00:58:23
Speaker
And I was like, whoa, you know, I was like, that was capacity. And little incidents like that still occur. You know, Disneyland was like our favorite place to go with her. Like she was all Minnie Mouse. That girl loved Minnie Mouse. Well, you mentioned if you you'd put the Minnie Mouse dress. Yes. Yes. So she loved Minnie Mouse. And I remember going to Disneyland and I saw the mascot and
00:58:53
Speaker
I think you were talking about healing moments for me. I was nervous to go up to a mascot because it reminded me so much of her. I remember in the park just bawling my eyes out on Minnie Mouse.
00:59:09
Speaker
She just reminded me so much of my daughter. The mascot lady was just like, I'm so sorry. She's not supposed to talk, but she did, which shows another thing, the compassion that people have. Leaving the park, it was rainy, it was gloomy. I'm literally walking down Main Street where there's people everywhere and a hummingbird
00:59:39
Speaker
flies straight across my face, like straight across my face into this garden. And I kind of followed it because I caught my eye so much. I mean, it flew across my face and it was a red breasted hummingbird. And so it just kind of flew around and normally they don't come out in the rain or around crowds and it just kind of hovered there for a little bit. And I started talking to it and I remember saying, hi Cassidy, you know, I love you. I miss you.
01:00:07
Speaker
And in that moment, then it just went straight up to the sky and disappeared.
01:00:14
Speaker
but I still see hummingbirds and it's beautiful. It's beautiful because, yeah, we were talking about these little signs and how signs can be whatever we want them to be, you know, and it's for us that are in a mourning process, you know, grieving. Those little signs mean so much because they're like little taps on the shoulder, like that we feel that are little messages of our loved one letting us know they're okay.
01:00:40
Speaker
And it just feels so comforting to have those moments and just helps our own, you know, grief and our sadness in that moment to kind of shift it a little bit and to feel gratefulness and, you know, thank you so much for sharing that.
Coping with Grief
01:00:58
Speaker
Now, so some of the tools then yet you've used then in this journey that you're going to navigate forever because it will not go away. This journey of grief have been then the friendships that you have, family, your faith in God, that aspect of faith. What other things do you do every day to just even get out of bed?
01:01:25
Speaker
What other things help you in your day to day or in, you know, to help you in this grieving process? Um, I guess I would definitely say having other, other children definitely helps 100% because, um, I want to show them that, you know, you know, circle of life, you know, you just never know. Right. Um,
01:01:49
Speaker
And that's what I tell people all the time. Cause they're, they're like, how do you still believe in God? How do you not hate God for that happening? And I'm like, no, no, no, no. Like God doesn't want bad things to happen to his people. And I said, we live in a tainted world. So it's almost like you're walking on eggshells. You just never know. Right. And, um, you're never guaranteed tomorrow. You're just never not. And so, you know, with my children, I want them to, to know that like,
01:02:17
Speaker
You know, don't live your life in fear, obviously, but live every day to your fullest and, and love more and be present in, you know, conversations and events. And, and, um, so every day when I wake up, I just, I have, um, I actually have a couple of photos of her when I wake up next to my bedside, um, with my vision board and then, you know, my, my dreams and ambitions, because I just look at it as like,
01:02:48
Speaker
I'm going to get all these goals. I'm going to get all these visions, but I'll always make sure that she's with me through that so that she can also experience that with me. And so every day I'm like, okay, like whose life am I going to touch today or how can I change someone's life or how can I reach out to somebody and let them know there's somebody there for you to talk to you. There's somebody there that loves you.
01:03:15
Speaker
And that's just kind of what I do every day, you know? And this company has changed my life. It truly has. And honestly, I could truly say if I did not have Isagenix, I do not know where I would be right now. Because in my darkest moments, this company was there for me. People from all over the world were there for me. And they really put my face back in humanity. And
01:03:45
Speaker
you know, when you first saw me back in January. Yes, when you're on stage and that you please share why this was so important. So after Cassidy passed away, like I was telling you, she was very hands-on in Isagenix and they have this beautiful ward which people in the company vote for, you know, called the Heart of Isagenix and she got nominated. Obviously I received it on her behalf, but
01:04:15
Speaker
her name was specifically nominated. And the things that people, I got to actually see some of them, headquarters emailed me some of the things that people wrote about me. The things that people wrote about our family and just the love and the outpour was so beautiful that the lady that was telling the votes told me that every day she'd like have to take a break because she would just lose it in front of her computer.
01:04:43
Speaker
Because she was like, it was so beautiful. She was reading all these messages. Everything was so moving. They were so beautiful. And I didn't know if we were going to win or not, you know, but just seeing Cassidy's videos and her pictures and everything that they put together, this beautiful little video for her to show in front of I think there was like 4000 people there.
01:05:04
Speaker
Not including all the people that were watching online in all the different countries, you know, just to show them her Meant so much to me and then when I won to be able to thank the cougars for this opportunity and to be able to thank you know Cal he's in charge of the Pacific region where I'm at and
01:05:27
Speaker
you know, thank you for, for loving me during this time and, and really being our support and holding us up during this time. Because it truly was Isagenics more than anything that literally was holding our family up.
01:05:46
Speaker
And this is not even, we're not even talking about the financial component. No, I'm talking about the community. This is all about the emotional. Yes, just because that is just, there's no words to that. Like money can't buy. No, exactly. Money cannot buy the community that we have. And that is why people stay. Yes, the products are awesome. They're cool. They're great. You know what I mean?
01:06:10
Speaker
But the people, you cannot put a price on that. I mean, I have friends in like England. I have friends in Australia that aren't even like financially connected to me, but they're like my people, you know, and even like Del Rey. And I just made a really great new friend, Casey Tom. I don't know if you heard of her, but these women inspire me and uplift me. And they know when I'm in a funk because grief, you have your waves.
01:06:40
Speaker
You know, and I don't mean necessarily waves, but there's some days where you just feel like you're in a funk and certain women in the Isagenix community will be like, glory, I feel your spirit. What's going on? I'm checking in on you. And that to me means everything because.
01:06:57
Speaker
It's like they're all over the world, but they're like connected to me on like a soul level, which is so, so, so beautiful. And so that award. That means so much. And I was bawling because I had seen when Emily posted.
01:07:15
Speaker
When Cassidy had passed away and that had just moved me and I actually reached I was one of those people that I'm like I she tagged in that moment She tagged your husband and you and I at that moment I just I ended up Reaching out was messaging your husband and not you because I didn't even know what to say to you personally Yeah, I didn't even know like in that moment, you know, you're so bombarded So I messaged on Instagram and I just said, you know if you guys need any resources for anything, you know, just
01:07:43
Speaker
There's organizations, you know for if you need support with the kids and stuff to be able to have that so because it and And so if that was just me reach I can just imagine how bombarded Oh with messages even though and that's how I tell people say I'm like we got so many messages But they were all like received, you know, they were they were they all went to healing our heart and and that's um, I
01:08:09
Speaker
I remember they were interviewing me after I won the award and I said, look, I know you get a box of products, but it's what you don't get in that box. You can't, you can't price it. And I said, you can't even fit it in a box. And the lady's like crying as I'm telling her this. And I'm just like, this company like is my life. Like this company is what keeps me going, you know? And I've met some people that I know will always be my lifelong friends. Um, and it's like,
01:08:39
Speaker
It's, it's like I was saying earlier, you know, sweet and sour. It's like, I lost my baby girl physically, but I've gained so many more family members and I really call these people my family. I've gained so many more family members that even though we're not blood, no, they're my family and they support me and they uplift me and they inspire me to be a better person. And, you know, they always tell me, you know, Cassidy's watching you.
01:09:08
Speaker
You know everything you're doing She sees everything and she's proud of her mommy and these are the type of messages they send me It's just it's so beautiful
01:09:20
Speaker
That's so beautiful. That's been one of the biggest things for you then is just having that support that has really helped you. And also knowing that you have a way of helping somebody else, that you have a vehicle to help somebody else make their life a little bit better or those are the kind of things that keep you going every day. And then your children showing them and you cry in front of them, you show them the emotions. I show them, yeah. I show them and they say, mommy, Mrs. Cassidy. And I say, yes, mommy, Mrs. Cassidy.
01:09:50
Speaker
It's it, but I love you both so much. And I want them to be open about expressing their feelings and not bottle it in. And if they need to let it out, let it out, you know, um, because it is healing when you, every time you cry and every time you talk about it and just, just being able to work through it as a, as a family. Cause I know it hasn't even been a year, but you know, the older they get, the more they're gonna, they're, they process, you know,
01:10:16
Speaker
And so, you know, these past, like we were saying, 45 weeks, it's definitely been a roller coaster. But the one solid thing in my life is definitely God and in my family. And obviously, Isagenix is a huge pillar in my life. And then we talked about a little bit, and I want to just ask you this.
01:10:40
Speaker
see how we can wrap this up because I could keep on talking and you just your heart and your soul I can just like feel it and I tend to be someone that tries to keep because I have these conversations often I try to be
01:10:56
Speaker
mindful of how I control my emotions on this side of the microphone. But it's been hard for me this time. I wanted to ask because you were talking about just how also everybody processes grief differently and the dynamics of you guys as a couple understanding that, you and Christian understanding that you will both grief differently and that you're grief will look different.
01:11:22
Speaker
Can you talk a little bit about that? Because this may be important for other couples out there. So I feel like there really isn't any, grief has many different forms. I feel like you cannot box it. And I feel like society really needs to know that. You cannot box grief. There's no Pacific time. There's no deadline when you need to get over something. No, it's the rest of your life that a piece of you will always be missing.
01:11:50
Speaker
You know, whether it's a mom, a sister, a grandpa, somebody molded you or made an impact on your heart in some way, that piece is gone. And so, you know, me and my husband grieve completely different. You know, some days he's quiet and I could just sense it. And I just love him where he's at and I don't push him. And then some days it's me that's like that. And he's the same way. He just kind of reads.
01:12:20
Speaker
We kind of read each other, you know, um, and then sometimes I'm crying and I'm very emotional, but he doesn't make me feel, you know, like awkward or bad about it, or like, you shouldn't grieve like that. And then sometimes he's angry, you know, and I, and grief can be angry. Sometimes he's very angry that, that, that, that this has happened and that he trusted somebody with, you know, the most valuable possessions that you cannot replace children, you know,
01:12:50
Speaker
Um, and so that's where it's just you have to be mindful and you have to be respectful of, of another person grieving, you know, because I even have family members that grieve completely different. Do I agree with it? No, but
01:13:05
Speaker
It's their way of grieving, you know, and so it's different honoring people's grief. Yeah, exactly. It's different for everyone. You know, like my husband's more private about Cassidy and me. I like telling her story. I'm very verbal about it. I feel like me telling it is healing for me, but also not
01:13:25
Speaker
It's like not forgetting, not that I'm saying I'll forget her, but it's honoring her memory every day in my life. Um, because she was, she was, since she was born, she was a part of my everyday life. And I will always continue to honor her in my everyday life. And it's interesting because I went out to dinner last night and someone asked me how many kids I had. And I said, you know, I have three.
01:13:49
Speaker
And one of my girlfriends choked, choked up a little bit, you know, and we laughed and she was like, you know, I love that you still say you have three children. And I said, I will always have three children the rest of my life, you know, absolutely.
01:14:03
Speaker
That's why I introduced the mom of three. Yeah, exactly. But you know what? Some mothers that have lost babies, they don't do that. And that's okay because that's their way of healing. But for me, I will always honor her.
01:14:19
Speaker
I think it's also the fact of, I had an interview which I just released just shortly, not long ago, of somebody whose child died right after giving birth. And so when she meets somebody and they ask that, she says she plays that two second game of like trying to figure out, do I tell them the whole story or not? And it's something that is like,
01:14:45
Speaker
She has to kind of make that decision in that moment when she's meeting somebody. If there's somebody I'm going to have in my life, then let me go into it a little bit more. And if it's not, then yeah. Exactly. And that's kind of how I am, too. You don't have to tell them later. Yeah. You don't necessarily have to tell them later. That's exactly how I am. Yeah. Yeah.
01:15:05
Speaker
Cause it's funny cause a lot of people on my team, uh, isogenics, you have teams, they did not know they're newer, you know? Um, and I met them through social media and stuff. They did not know I lost my child until they really started learning about me. And you know, then respectfully, they said, oh my gosh, Gloria, like I had no idea. Like.
01:15:23
Speaker
And I'll fill them in a little bit and elaborate on it. But for the most part, it's like, unless you really know me and you really will know my story. But, you know, Kathy Cooper has a saying, you know, you see the glory, but you don't know the story.
01:15:40
Speaker
So I just love that. I love that saying. And it's perfect for you because literally, you see glory, but you don't know her story. That should be the title of this episode. You see glory, but you don't know. Oh, that's really good. That would be funny.
01:15:59
Speaker
That would be funny, right? I could put that. Gloria, what I was going to say too is that one of the things that I noticed and just how you said the people around you that are newer in your life don't know your story, like you said. It just shows that really the way you guys carry yourself with just still, you could still see that fire and that
01:16:21
Speaker
assessed for life that you have and that is that that twinkle in the eye has not Disappeared even in the pain that you're going through. Yeah, and that is just so admirable And is that am I saying it right? I always say I make makeup words here admirable. I know you're out lazy I am it is okay does does it you see I have to like is that a spangle? Is that I just make one? The longer you know me the more you'll be like, oh my gosh, Gloria made up another word all my friends Oh you do do
01:16:49
Speaker
Oh, you make up words. She has her own dictionary. Oh, perfect. Well, Gloria, I've got my own too, so we can create an encyclopedia with Gloria's dictionary, Kendra's dictionary. Yeah, I make up words all the time. It's like English, so it's English. Oh, yeah.
01:17:06
Speaker
That's me. So yeah, so that zest for life you have not lost and you can see that. And if anybody listening to the story, this interview, the first at least 30 minutes we're talking and you could hear your energy and your passion for life.
01:17:21
Speaker
And you would have not known that we were going to go on down this route of talking about something so hard that happened in your life. And I am just so grateful that you shared your journey and it will continue to go and this journey and it will shift how it helps you grow. But the fact that you are now what you've learned, as you said, the sweet and sour is the fact of living every day
01:17:49
Speaker
to the fullest, teaching your children that and the fact that you don't fear death anymore and really not really minding or caring what people say because you're going to live life the way you feel is intended to be lived. It's such beautiful amount of gratitude to some extent for those growing experiences that have come from something so hard. The best advice I could give to and how I live my life daily too is
01:18:16
Speaker
Find the things that bring you joy because enjoy there's strength In laughter, there's healing and so, you know if it's like, you know like comedy movies or things that you love to do books reading music if you play piano or instruments or things that just really bring joy to you pull from those joyful sources and that's that's really what I do every day too as I
01:18:43
Speaker
I focus on the things that bring me joy and so people I'm such a people I love people like I'm so passionate about people and I just love people where they're at and that's truly I believe is my calling it's just it's just to love people and I feel like as humanity as people we are called to love not to judge
The Power of Connection
01:19:03
Speaker
not to be down not to criticize not to pick people apart but we're just we're just called to love people humans need humans and and
01:19:10
Speaker
That's why COVID, a lot of people are having a hard time with it is because we're designed to be around people and have relationships and community. And so, especially during this time, I challenge people to make relationships on social media and Facebook and voice ads. And they work. Listen, you're proof of it. Yeah, they do. You're proof of it. They really do. You're proof of it that really all the community you built and that was there by your side were people you did not know.
01:19:39
Speaker
Yeah, but the best part is when you meet these people in person, you already feel like you've known them your whole life. Yes. Well, that's how I'm going to feel when I see you. When I see you in person and whenever we have our next in-person event, just be ready for a tight hug. I love it.
01:19:57
Speaker
Hopefully by then we'll be able to have physical contact events. I am so excited for this also new friendship and I appreciate you coming on and sharing this.
Gratitude and Closing Remarks
01:20:12
Speaker
So thank you once again, my dear. Yes, thank you so much for having me on and being able to share not only my story, but especially Miss Cassidy Grace's story. So thank you.
01:20:24
Speaker
Thank you Cassidy Grace for allowing us to share your story through your mommy.
01:20:33
Speaker
Thank you again so much for choosing to listen today. I hope that you can take away a few nuggets from today's episode that can bring you comfort in your times of grief. If so, it would mean so much to me if you would rate and comment on this episode. And if you feel inspired in some way to share it with someone who may need to hear this, please do so.
01:21:02
Speaker
Also, if you or someone you know has a story of grief and gratitude that should be shared so that others can be inspired as well, please reach out to me. And thanks once again for tuning into Grief Gratitude and the Gray in Between podcast. Have a beautiful day.