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Ep 5 My Birthday! Redefining Middle Age & Embracing Changes
480 Plays5 months ago
Today is extra special because it’s my birthday! 🎉
In this episode, I’m diving into birthdays, age, and the incredible journey of life. I’ll share a beautiful download I received from the universe just two days ago while driving. Plus, I’m giving you the inside scoop on why the number 22 is so meaningful to me. It all started with my soulmate dog, Honeybee, and a magical moment we shared during her final days.
I’m reflecting on the amazing experiences and growth I’ve had this past year. From moving across the country with one of my best friends to reconnecting with old friends and launching this very podcast, it’s been an incredible journey. I’ve been blessed with deep, soul-fulfilling friendships and new professional milestones.
I’ll also talk about redefining middle age and embracing the changes that come with it. It’s all about feeling empowered, excited, and ready to take on whatever comes next.
And guess what? I had a divine revelation about my next big project! Tune in and find out what it is!
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Misunderstood' and Sensitivity as a Superpower
00:00:02
Speaker
Hello, beautiful souls. I'm so grateful that you're tuning in. Welcome to my podcast, Misunderstood, guiding highly sensitive people through an emotional dark age. I'm your host, Candice Van Dal, and I'm honored to embark on this transformative journey with you. Have you ever felt like you didn't quite fit into the world around you or even your own family? Like your sensitivity was a burden rather than a gift. If so, you're not alone. And here's the truth. Your sensitivity is not a flaw. It's a superpower. It's what allows you to feel deeply, to connect with others on a profound level, and to access a higher realm of consciousness. And on this podcast, we're going to explore how to harness that power and use it to create a life of purpose, passion, and true confidence.
00:00:45
Speaker
Here, in this sacred space, we honor your sensitivity as the gift it truly is. Get ready to embark on the journey of unapologetic emotional honesty and next-level healing. Let's dive in together. Hello, guys. Welcome to Misunderstood. I'm your host, Candice Vandell.
Personal Reflections on Birthdays and Life Stages
00:01:04
Speaker
And today is my birthday. So I wanted to do an episode on my birthday to talk about birthdays, age, the stage of life, what's happening next.
Divine Revelations and Spiritual Connections
00:01:16
Speaker
This incredible download I got literally from God when I was driving in my car two days ago, it hit me like a beautiful lightning bolt.
00:01:24
Speaker
And the Day 22 is always so special for me. I actually have it tattooed on my arm because I'll tell you the story briefly. A lot of people ask me about it, so I'll give you guys the inside scoop. But but when my soulmate dog, Honey Bee, was passing away almost, well I guess it's been four and a half years, She told me it was September 21st and she had cancer. She was way too young for cancer. It was this freak experience that I'll go into another time. And she was at home after her third chemo treatment and she was like my soulmate. We had this crazy mother-daughter connection. If you're a dog lover, an animal lover, you know what I'm talking about. It was deep.
00:02:10
Speaker
And I could look into her eyes and she would tell me things. And it was just amazing. She told me when she got sick, which was crazy. She told me when she was going to die. So here we were at home really late at night after her last chemotherapy. Procedure whatever you call it and it was September 21st And I remember we were trying to call places to see if they could assist her to cross over because she was Obviously bleeding out. This is what was happening. She had a big tumor in her little heart and it was not going well and we knew that this was the end and intuitively
00:02:49
Speaker
I didn't want to do that. I didn't want to have to put her down. It was almost like I wanted her to go on her own time because she wasn't suffering, but we knew it was the end. This is what they said. They said she wasn't suffering. I don't know. So any anyway, I was listening into her and we couldn't get a hold of anyone to come over. Everything was closed. So I just tuned into her and she literally in that moment, it was interesting. It was me, my ex-husband, and my stepson. And she said to me, mommy, I'm going to cross on the 22nd. And I said, okay, that's tomorrow. That's in a few hours, right? And I said, why is that? And my dog, I swear you guys probably think I'm crazy. Maybe not. I thought it was divine. My dog said, well you, daddy, and Brandon, my stepson, all three of us that were with her, all had birthdays on the 22nd. And she wanted to be in that group. She said, so I'm going to pass on the 22nd. It's a powerful day for our family.
00:03:48
Speaker
And we went to sleep that night around midnight. been And about, I think it was 5.25 in the morning, she starts crawling up my leg and she told me it's time. And I held her and I sang to her and she passed away in my arms. And so 22 has always been a super secret number. The funnier thing is, you guys know 11, 11 is my number, but 11 plus 11 is 22. So my boyfriend and I and our dogs went to Savannah this weekend for my birthday, a little road trip because we had nowhere but the dogs, so they came with us. And we get there and our hotel room is 1122. And I was like, I just love my birthday. So there's a little scoop there. But I want to talk about this birthday because this was the first year. I know people say this a lot with different ages, but this was the first year I was like, ooh,
00:04:39
Speaker
this number hits different, you know what I mean? It was just that moment where I'm like, ooh. I'm not that comfortable with this, but I was fine with the last
Redefining Age and Embracing Life Changes
00:04:49
Speaker
five that most people don't like. I don't like this one. And I just turned 46 and I was like, 46 is not cute. And then I was like, wait, that's just societal conditioning. You've never felt better. My work has been on fire this year. i My life has kind of gone to this incredible place. And I was like, so why am I letting a number sway me? So I had this opportunity
00:05:13
Speaker
to re-identify with it. And it was kind of a cool experience. So always on my birthday, I like to go through sort of like, you know, you sit there and you reflect. And so I was thinking about some of the amazing things I got to do this year. Like my 45th year, I moved across country and one of my best friends from junior high came with me. didn It took us five days. It was amazing. And I reconnected with old friends, like two women, three women actually, that I was good friends with in my early, early twenties. Two of them I roomated with at different times. And we have had girls trips and we are all going through the same things at the same time. And two of us were models and now we're therapists. It's just so cool. Like everything has come back around in this beautiful kind of cyclical
00:06:06
Speaker
dance for for my life with friendships, which is really special. It kind of makes you realize why some people have to exit so there is room for those soul friends, you know what I mean? And this year I launched my podcast and this year I had this incredible experience a couple days ago.
Writing a New Book: A Decade of Experiences
00:06:27
Speaker
Okay, so I was asking God. I talked to God a lot. You guys know this. I was saying, okay, I've done the podcast now. I've reconnected with incredible friends. I've interviewed insane people for my podcast. Everyone I've asked so far said yes. I'm like, what? That's all I had to do is ask.
00:06:44
Speaker
Been insane. The feedback's been great. The Candid with Candace episodes that I am doing interviews with are just so real and raw. And the things that come out of people's mouths, I'm just in awe of. I'm so excited to have such an authentic platform to just share truth and kind of just walk through the perfection of the process of life with others is so fun. And so I was asking God, like, what's next? I feel good. Everything's good. But like, what? What's next? And I got this lightning bolt in the best way driving home from my manicure appointment where God literally gave me the title of my book. I had chills throughout my body. I was like in awe. I was crying. I couldn't believe it. If you guys remember this from my YouTube channel,
00:07:28
Speaker
I wrote a book my second year in grad school so it was like two thousand twelve i started writing it i think it was complete in two thousand and thirteen and i never published it because i was like you know this book i wrote for my inner child and i wrote it to validate her. And my inner team. I don't know if I want to give the world this, but I want this to be part of what I give the world. And over the last more than decade that I've been coaching countless people, I've built 12 courses, I have a million people that I feel I've touched and have touched me through this work. I realize that this decade of sort of proving myself to myself and doing the work in the world and having a huge library now of work
00:08:16
Speaker
and experience has made it perfect for this title of this book and what's going to be in this book. And it's kind of crazy because the first two people I interviewed on this podcast, which you'll see the second one in August, are authors. And we were talking all about this and I was like, oh, it's funny how that led up to it. I know what to do. I know how to do it. Now I have the name of the book, the complete contents of the book. It feels good. The other one didn't feel good in my body to share with the world yet. This one is like, oh my gosh, Candace, this is the entirety of your experience. This is everything that you have lived, like literally living your message. You have to share it this way because these are your people and now you know who your people are and your people know who their teacher is or who their coach is or who they like to listen to for a specific reason. And this book, you guys, I drove home 10 minutes from the nail salon.
00:09:11
Speaker
I got the title. I got 10 chapters. I think it's actually 11 now. I came home. I wrote it all down. Everything that like came to me as a download in those 10 minutes, I wrote it all down. I don't even know how I remembered it. Crazy. Wrote it all down. I already have my table of contents. I'm like, all I have to do is fill it in. It's ready. It's done. So that's my next thing is in 2025, I'm getting a book deal. I really am. yeah I don't know how this is going to happen or how it's going to manifest, but this is my 100% all in intention. I see it. I want it. I'm excited. This book is a message for you. Through me, that was my experience that I understand so deeply. And I think by living something and getting the wisdom from it is the healing, right? That transition
00:09:59
Speaker
of healing energy is from one person who's been exactly where you are, who's gotten to the other side. And that's this book and I am beyond excited. So I want to share that with you. um I just have so many things I want to say, but let's go back to one thing.
Empowerment Through Life Choices and Relationships
00:10:15
Speaker
So I feel very connected to my life. I feel a deeper just depth in all ways. I feel like the right characters, right? The right people are in place. So it feels like this ease that I walk with, which is so nice.
00:10:31
Speaker
And I also feel that it's kind of this cool thing, but also my maybe responsibility to not only talk about middle age, but sort of redefine it. Because when I was starting to come into this number, I was starting to feel like negative. i Honestly, I was like, wait, it's going to go downhill from here. Menopause is four years away. I mean, I don't know. i'm saying you know Probably not having kids at this point, which is fine. It was a choice. But I'm like, you know you think about these things. You think about your later years. You think about setting yourself up for that. You think about the choices you've made up until now that set you up for later. And I was very proud of a lot of that.
00:11:14
Speaker
But I think the thing we forget, I saw this reel the other day that I really loved. And this woman was talking about how a lot of women choose not to have children because they have such a purpose and a lot of women choose to have children because they feel that is their purpose, which is amazing. Children has never been my purpose, but I always say I kind of help a lot of people heal their inner child. And a lot of people call me their spirit mother, spiritual mother, their spiritual sister. And I just feel very, so very soul family infused, but
00:11:45
Speaker
It is funny that at this age, if you don't have kids, I do feel very excited to just put all of that energy into my work and my mission and my healing. And I think a lot of women put that into their family and that's their beautiful purpose and mission or part of it. And it's funny because as I was getting a divorce three years ago, I was thinking how, you know, I was lucky because I still had my career and my purpose intact. But I did think, you know what? For me, my family has always been my closest friends, my dog, whoever my partner is, my best friends. And so I really just feel this year was interesting to have so many of those soul relationships come back. And the only reason they weren't around is we kind of talked about it. Like one of my best friends moved to Europe for 16 years, had babies, like,
00:12:41
Speaker
basically was in a bubble of family and now she's divorcing and she's like whoa and she's back in the mix and the other one had three children and now she's back in the mix it's like we didn't leave each other's life because we don't love each other we kind of left because circumstantial we took different choices and now we're all back and it's kind of like this coming home. So, you know, middle age can be difficult for a lot of reasons for a lot of ah people. But one thing I want to highlight is as I started to step into that, you know, idea, I quickly shifted into the reality. And the reality is, it is what we define it as. It is how we feel.
00:13:17
Speaker
I feel excited. One of my best friends, she's 45, I just turned 46 and she goes, but we don't look like it or act like it and we feel amazing and we're fit and we're healthy and we're all these things. And I was like, yeah, we have to redefine that for people. You know, we have to redefine what it means to divorce because a lot of people get divorced in middle age. And it's not a fun experience, but it can be liberating because you realize how capable, how strong, how resilient, how empowered it feels to live life on your own terms. So that's kind of what I want to say right now is this birthday has really anchored in for me that over the last three years since my divorce, I've created a life on
Closing Thoughts on Growth and Future Intentions
00:14:03
Speaker
my own terms.
00:14:04
Speaker
and that's created these energy contracts with people and these reconnections and there's nothing blocking me and there's nothing in the way and I just feel so liberated and I think if we can define life as constant growth, I've always been super tethered to a higher power and I know that it leads me and that's why I know everything is happening for me, but I also know it's all perfection in the process and everything will lead you to the next thing and So often we think we're supposed to know, but we're supposed to know right now because right now being all in brings you there. So I just turned 46. I think I might be okay with this number. I'm really excited to like use this year to really be all in on all things that I love, want,
00:14:54
Speaker
and want to be a mirror to. So I'm excited about the new business adventures. We're doing live events now. We've got the podcast now. The book deal is coming, manifesting that right now. Put some energy on that guys. And just a whole lot of health and wealth and love and fun and adventures. And I guess more than anything, just being in joy through it all. So I wanted to give you guys that message today. I want to thank you guys for being here, sharing this.
00:15:27
Speaker
Come say hi to me on social media. It's been so fun to do these daily reels on Instagram, interact with so many more of you. It really is so enjoyable. So that's the theme this year is Bulljoy. I love you guys and thanks for tuning in. I'll see you next week.