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Ep 21 Healing From Corporate Codependency to Entrepreneurial Independence
330 Plays1 month ago
I dive deep into the topic of corporate codependency. I've been seeing this issue come up a lot in my Skilled Empath Course, and I wanted to share some insights with you all. We'll explore how unresolved inner child wounds and emotional patterns often show up in our professional lives. I coined the term corporate codependency to describe how many of us, even CEOs and business leaders, still seek validation from higher-ups, reflecting old dynamics from our past.
I'll offer some valuable advice on how to break free from these cycles to become empowered entrepreneurs. I'll also share some personal stories and inspiring examples, like Alex Cooper's journey from the "Call Her Daddy" podcast. Whether you're struggling with emotional intelligence in your corporate career or looking to start your own business, this episode will provide actionable insights to help you recognize and overcome corporate codependency.
Join me as we explore ways to empower ourselves, set boundaries, and align our actions with our true selves. I'll also share tips for building your business from a new, empowered paradigm. Don't miss this chance to tune in and take the first step toward breaking free from corporate codependency.
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Transcript
Introduction to Misunderstood podcast
00:00:02
Speaker
Hello, beautiful souls. I'm so grateful that you're tuning in. Welcome to my podcast, Misunderstood, guiding highly sensitive people through an emotional dark age. I'm your host, Candice Van Dal, and I'm honored to embark on this transformative journey with you.
Sensitivity: Burden or Gift?
00:00:17
Speaker
Have you ever felt like you didn't quite fit into the world around you or even your own family? Like your sensitivity was a burden rather than a gift. If so, you're not alone. And here's the truth. Your sensitivity is not a flaw. It's a superpower. It's what allows you to feel deeply, to connect with others on a profound level, and to access a higher realm of consciousness.
00:00:38
Speaker
And on this podcast, we're going to explore how to harness that power and use it to create a life of purpose, passion, and true confidence. Here in this sacred space, we honor your sensitivity as the gift it truly is. Get ready to embark on the journey of unapologetic emotional honesty and next level healing. Let's dive in together.
Corporate Codependency and Entrepreneurship
00:01:00
Speaker
Hey, everybody. Welcome back to Misunderstood, guiding highly sensitive people through an emotional dark age. I am your host, Candice Bandell. I'm holding this thing today because I feel like I need to be a little further away. I don't know. We're going to play with this and see what happens. So I want to talk about this topic today that's been coming up a lot in my skilled empath course that I have. It's a two-hour deep dive with me back to back. First hour, we dive into your patterns, your inner child wounds, your your your your patterns that don't work for you, and we see how it actually mimics your career and how a lot of you are coming into entrepreneurship. You're wanting to start your own thing. You're moving out of what I will call corporate codependency. This is a term I came up with when I listened to countless CEOs and
00:01:47
Speaker
presidents and vice presidents and people in business and people who are high up but still listen to someone else. It's a whole thing and as you start to heal your inner wounds you start to move out of any and all form of codependency. So what that looks like is how we do one thing we do all things. If this is happening in your relationships and in your personal life, it's going to be happening in your business life because oftentimes what a lot of people start to figure out is the dynamic and the role you had in your family you're going to have in your company.
00:02:19
Speaker
or you're gonna go so far against it to be the opposite, which is also just another form of expressing trauma. Trauma expresses itself in opposites. So like if you were bullied, now you're gonna be the CEO. Or if you were bullied, you're still bullied in your work. Either one is true. And so a couple big points that I want to bring up with corporate codependency because this has been coming up a lot. When I'm teaching emotional intelligence to a corporation or a business or a business owner or someone who's Working for a company it's always the same. It's always the same same right same same but different So a couple of the things that came up for me. I'm just moving my pages around cuz I took little notes is
00:02:58
Speaker
this validation that we're all seeking, people will say, oh, I love what I do for a living. I'm this, I'm that. And what I see oftentimes is is if this is you, look into it if it's not, ignore it. But what I see a lot is you're still getting validated by the people that you know how to please. My boss, my, you know, this is your, this is your conscious collective energy that you're in now. This is your culture. This is your work. This is your career. This is your job. This is your company. This is your business. This is your boss. All those things are you're still in search of that validation from that kind of false idol that you do idolize because they're giving you your paycheck. Think about this.
From Corporate to Spiritual Guidance
00:03:45
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And it's that need to please. And one of my clients said to me, Candace, it's so interesting. like
00:03:50
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She was let go from her job. And at the same time, things were shifting in her family. This is what happens. And she's like, i I feel kind of lost because I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm not being guided. I'm not being given direction. And what I told her is, oh, it's time for you to stop getting direction from the corporation and start getting direction from God. That's where we become empowered entrepreneurs and we can start our own business is when we've really started to Melt those roles that you felt so safe in. Ask yourself why it was so safe. Also ask yourself what I was putting up with, what I was compromising in my own power because I'm afraid of my shine or I don't know how to be self-guided or I don't know a right direction unless I'm told. Really think about this. Corporate codependency.
00:04:41
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What am I still not facing and what I could be depending on undependable people or false idols? That if I do face that, I'll be able to have more of an insight as to what I really want to be doing.
00:05:00
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or how I really need to have more boundaries. Even if you are staying in this corporation and staying in this job, but you're feeling like something's off in the power dynamic, you're feeling anger, because anger is the cover emotion for powerlessness, ask yourself, what am I afraid to do because I might risk my income, I might risk my position, I might risk my role, I might risk my job? What am I afraid to do that would really give me more integrity and more empowerment because I'm worried about the survival aspect?
The Trap of External Validation
00:05:30
Speaker
When we talk about false idols, false idols are anything you give your power to that isn't fricking God. Status, money, bosses, boyfriends, girlfriends, wives, sisters, brothers, friendships.
00:05:48
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ah Looks, anything that society has deemed good or acceptable, if it's not naturally you, you're giving your power away to be it. to fit a status, to fit a measure, right? And you can all look at me and be like, well, you kind of look like, you know, the quintessential, you know, this or that. People have always said to me over years, not now, because I'm way too vocal about my truth, my wounds and shit. But over the past years, like before I had more of a following, people would look at me and be like, what are you going to talk about as far as childhood wounds? It was easy for you. I'm like, what are you talking about?
00:06:24
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because i look a certain way or because i have certain friends or because i have a certain career because i was a model at the time and actress at the time i'm like it was not easy for me in fact growing up i felt so different so much like i didn't belong to my own fucking family sorry for that bomb that my only way of coping was to fit into the societal norm. Cause I naturally looked a certain way and actually was a certain way, but I didn't think right as far as society. I was given that label of ADHD at age seven. You have to realize that is very shameful. I had to deal with a lot of shame identity of like, is there something wrong
Personal Struggles and Societal Norms
00:07:00
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with me? Literally my whole life. So the fact that I fit in a lot of times societally was amazing. But what you don't realize is that was my external.
00:07:10
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That was my personality it wasn't the way that i thought i had to do so much work and ah validating my own mind. One of the things i was thinking about recently is i started becoming a big fan of caller daddy podcast i had never seen it before and then i saw it and i was obsessed and what i love is i listen to alex cooper's um interview with. Who was it not to think about who the hell this interview because i watch so many.
00:07:37
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I'll think about it and I'll mention it later. But I watched her interview with said person that I will mention when I remember which one it was. And now I have to Google it. And she was talking about how everyone kind of thought the same thing of her. You're so confident. You're so this, you're so that. It must have been easy for you. And she's like, I was bullied, dude. I had acne and I was way too skinny and I was bullied. And she said, her way of coping, talk about corporate codependency into boss.
00:08:04
Speaker
her way of coping was to go downstairs in the basement and make content it was to work on her inner world because we all think there's something wrong with me that i have to like prove to the outer world and that never works so we go back to our inner world and what i realize and now by the way that mate has made her so successful this creating content coping mechanism and i see the same similar thing for what i did is what i did is spend a lot of time alone in my inner world.
00:08:30
Speaker
diving inside to figure myself out, to figure out the world, to figure out things that I was being misunderstood about, I needed to learn to understand them so I could help under other people understand me so I didn't have to feel alone, so I didn't have to feel disconnected from, so I could feel part of things, a part of something. And really finding my place in the world was sharing my insight.
00:08:52
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that I probably very largely gained from spending so much time alone. And when you have deep insight about things, you realize I can't work for anyone because I have so many of my specific own ideas.
Pain to Empowerment: Self-Guidance
00:09:05
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I just need to live those ideas. And so when I look at alice Alex Cooper and her example of really being her own boss came from her coping mechanism of not feeling enough.
00:09:19
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And in a way, same, same. And so I think a lot of times, those of us who've been through a lot of pain early on in life, we ultimately, when we do a lot of healing work, we realize we have our own thing. Everybody has their own thing.
00:09:36
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But when we're, let's say, stuck in a corporate ladder, maybe you haven't empowered your own thing enough yet, right? Maybe your voice isn't strong enough yet, and that's why you feel that frustration, that anger, that that disempowerment, that, you know, outsourced power. And maybe it's really about looking within a little bit more and saying, if I don't want to work like this, if I don't want to have these boundaries don't that don't feel right for me, If I don't want to be in this job with people that make me feel bad about myself, and I'm only talking, I'm not talking to people who are happy in their jobs. I'm talking about the people who feel codependent in their culture, right? In their work environment, in their corporate environment. Really looking at what did I do to cope with pain? What do I still do? How can I empower my pain to be my purpose or to purpose purposely lead me to a stronger position in this current reality?
00:10:32
Speaker
Right? So breaking any type of work-related codependency means truly coming into embodiment of who you truly are and living in alignment with those boundaries, with those feelings, instead of constantly letting them go and compromising them to please some narrative that doesn't feel real and right for you. And a lot of you are going to comment and be like, well, I can't leave my job. I need money. And I'll say, you don't have to leave it.
00:11:00
Speaker
But empower yourself while you're in it. One of my clients, I was like, don't leave your corporate job right now, but build your side gig that you're so passionate about while you're coping with this. But with a real way, you might not be able to say shit to your boss right now or change your, your lane. But what you can do is be more honest with yourself about it. Like, gosh, I am in such a people pleasing position. I'm working on that right now. That is already breaking.
00:11:27
Speaker
this pattern I'm talking about of codependency. Codependency is I depend on undependable people. When you start to really listen to yourself and depend
Honesty as the Path to Healing
00:11:34
Speaker
on yourself and you become your own anchor, you can tell yourself the story of, I'm doing this now because I'm getting out of this. and Instead of lying to yourself of, I'm not doing that. Yes, I am doing that. I'm people pleasing. i'm doing Whatever it is for you, tell the truth.
00:11:50
Speaker
When you tell the truth, I always say getting real about how you feel is how you heal. It doesn't mean I'm just going to tell the truth and things are going to change. It means I'm going to tell the truth out loud and then I'm going to start lining my action steps with that truth instead of gaslighting myself because I think I need this or I tell myself a story because I'm too afraid to leave this or transform this or speak up about this. It's how we relate to the issues, the issue and how we relate to ourself and the issues, the bigger issues. So guys, shorter little podcast today. but I wanted to put it out there because as I've been doing so many healed empath sessions with people, what is it called? The skilled empath, that's what it's called. I've been doing so much business foundational work with people, building your business from your new paradigm, not your old role. That is the most important thing. When you do business coaching with me, I am getting you out of your old paradigm and your old role.
00:12:39
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to build something from a very
Empowered Entrepreneurship
00:12:41
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empowered place. And it does take place within a two-hour session. So if you're interested in that, check it out on my website. If you feel it like this helped you in some way, please share it. Please leave comments. Please leave, um you know, testimonials, whatever
Engage and Contribute
00:12:54
Speaker
you think about this. I want to hear from you guys. I also want you guys to be DMing me on Instagram ideas about new podcasts. I will have a guest on next week. So don't fret. They're coming. But I just like these little solo episodes, but I just have to say what I feel, right? And you guys, so many of you guys write me and say you can relate to this. It was good timing, so I'm not going to stop doing that as well.
Closing and Gratitude
00:13:13
Speaker
But I love you guys. I appreciate you guys. Thank you for joining me on Misunderstood. I hope you feel a little bit more understood today. I hope to see you guys soon.