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Why Female Friendships Matter More Than You Think: Galentine's Day Special
16 Plays22 days ago
You know that friend who's been there longer than any boyfriend? The one you joke with saying "I'll be at your wedding, but he might not be"? That's soul-deep connection - and science says it might be saving your life. This Galentine's Day, let's celebrate the power of female friendship.
Here's what we're exploring about women supporting women:
- The science behind female friendship (oxytocin, stress response, and community-seeking)
- How women with close friends survive spouse loss without health decline
- Why "I'll be at your wedding but your boyfriend won't" isn't just a joke - it's staying power
- Breaking the myth that women are catty (we're each other's lifelines)
- Different types of friendships worth celebrating (childhood, work, mom friends, long-distance)
From understanding that Galentine's Day started on Parks and Rec to discovering that female friendships create soul-deep bonds where you can be 100% yourself, this episode celebrates the relationships that might be your most important ones. Your friendships are literally protecting your health.
Subscribe. Share. Remember that your female friendships might be your most profound relationships.
Small steps, big healing. Keep growing! ✨
Join the conversation! How are you celebrating your Galentines this year? DM me on Instagram @YourCoachMari and tag your ride or die!
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Growing with Sol'
00:00:00
Speaker
Hello beautiful souls and welcome back to the Growing with Sol podcast where we explore the moments and stories that shape who we're becoming. I'm Marisol and this is where I love to have real conversations about growth, self-discovery and learning to put yourself first.
00:00:16
Speaker
Whether we're diving into books that change our perspective or unpacking personal experiences that teach us something new, this podcast is for women who are done playing small and ready to embrace their own journey.
00:00:28
Speaker
If you've struggled with putting everyone else first or battled self-doubt, you're in the right place. This isn't about perfection. It's about the messy, beautiful process of growing into yourself.
00:00:40
Speaker
So come grow with me.
Romantic Love and Galentine's Day
00:00:43
Speaker
So we are in February and very much because of that, a lot of us are thinking about romantic love. We're thinking about Valentine's Day.
00:00:53
Speaker
And i think that's valid. I think that's a very valid thing to one, want and to also show appreciation for.
00:01:04
Speaker
At the same time, I'm very much aware that there are a lot of us who are not in relationships. There are a lot of us out here who are very single. And even for those of us who aren't single, for those of us who may be in relationships, I still think it's really important to also appreciate other types of love in our life. And most relatedly to this episode, our friendships.
00:01:30
Speaker
And so that's one of the reasons why i really wanted to focus on Galentine's Day and what exactly is Galentine's Day and what does it and what can it mean for us during this time of year where there is this really heavy emphasis on romantic love.
00:01:50
Speaker
So one of the things that I did find out because naturally their nerd in me was like, I need to do a deep dive in the history of Galentine's Day. Like, well where did it even come from?
00:02:00
Speaker
And apparently in the internet research that I did, Galentine's Day first originated in the TV show Parks and Rec. Crazy?
00:02:11
Speaker
But okay, go pop culture starting a whole new holiday for us. But essentially in terms of what Galentine's Day is meant for, it's for us to celebrate essentially our female friendships and to really celebrate have a way for us single people to celebrate, but also to celebrate another type of love that is just as important as romantic love. And dare I say, maybe more important than romantic love.
00:02:41
Speaker
I know a lot of women who would say that.
The Importance of Female Friendships
00:02:43
Speaker
I know a lot of women in my personal life, in my family who would say that our female friendships are more important than the romantic love that we might have in our lives. And I don't knock it. i think i think that's a valid sentiment.
00:02:55
Speaker
So I wanted to talk about this day essentially and go over the importance of female friendships and the benefits of female friendships and how we support each other, how we lift each other up and how and why these friendships, these connections are so pivotal to our lives and to our overall health and wellbeing.
00:03:20
Speaker
So let's talk about the power of female friendships and why is it that they matter so much? i mean, like I mentioned, like I know people in my life personally who have said that their friendships with other women are so much more important than any romantic partner they have had, will have or currently have.
00:03:41
Speaker
And in general, when we look at friendship between women, there is this deep emotional bond that we create with each other. And through that emotional bond, through that friendship, not only are we there because we like spending time with each other and like we vibe and we're cool people and we appreciate that, but we see and accept that.
00:04:06
Speaker
all of the other person. We see and accept all of each other. And we support all of that. We see the vulnerability. We discuss vulnerable things. We are raw and real with each other.
00:04:20
Speaker
And it's a safe space for us to be 100% ourselves, especially and even when we are going through transitions and we are...
00:04:32
Speaker
Growing and developing and going through difficult times. And I think that that's, again, probably one of the reasons why, you know, though there there are women who say that our friendships with the one another are more important than even our romantic partnerships. It's kind of like that whole thing where like you'll see women on the Internet. I mean, it's kind of like joking, but not really. Where you see women on the Internet talking about like, oh, like I was talking to my friend's boyfriend or my friend's fiance. And it's like, um I know I'm going to be at my friend's wedding, but you might not be. It's kind of like that whole thing. It's like I I have staying power here in this person's life.
00:05:10
Speaker
Like my women friends are going to be here until the day I die. Romantic partner, not so much. That's not a guarantee. But my friend, we're ride or die.
00:05:21
Speaker
It's kind of that whole sentiment. And that level of connection is soul deep. Okay? It is soul deep.
The Science Behind Female Bonding
00:05:30
Speaker
And in order to be soul deep, you have to be able to be 100% yourself with the other person and go through difficult times with that person as well. Have difficult conversations. Be vulnerable.
00:05:42
Speaker
and keep building past that vulnerability through that vulnerability. But there is also science back to behind the power of female friendships. You know, there have been studies that have come out that there is apparently a hormone, oxytocin, released as part of a stress response in women. So essentially what this does per this study is that it connects women together. So as part of our stress response, not only do we have the typical fight or flight response, but we also have this innate response
00:06:17
Speaker
reaction often of seeking out community within that stress response of taking care of something, essentially trying to build connectivity. I will definitely link what I found down in the description so you can see the whole study, but essentially it kind of like buffers that fight or flight response and essentially encourages women to gather with one another instead of doing the fight or flight. So again, searching for community, building friendships, building connection,
00:06:47
Speaker
But furthermore, I think what really makes this fascinating is that when researchers also look at how well women tend to function, to get really specific, how well women tend to function after the death of a spouse, they found that even in the face of one of the biggest stressors that somebody could go through, like losing your spouse, that even in the face of that,
00:07:11
Speaker
the women who have very close friends and confidants were more likely to survive that experience without any kind of new physical impairments or any permanent loss of vitality.
00:07:25
Speaker
That is huge. Like we are talking about your connection and your friendship with other people. Being the reason why you're able to survive, get through, get past one of the most difficult times in your life without it negatively impacting your health and well-being.
00:07:47
Speaker
All because of friendship. And most likely all because of your women friends, your female friends.
Types of Female Friendships
00:07:55
Speaker
Most of the time, that's what it's going to be. So in terms of looking at, like if you were to take a look at your own life right now and take a look at your friends and how close you are and who is around you, who's going to be there for you in difficult times, and you see your female friends, no matter how many you may have or not have, again, I've Never been the type of person to have a lot of friends, but at this point, it's not so much how many friends you have, but the quality of connection that you have with said friends.
00:08:29
Speaker
And these are the people who are going to be there for you during difficult times, like what this article and these studies are saying. I think it's also important during this time to look at the different types of friendship that we may have, because is the quality of friendship going to be a little bit different in these different areas? Yes. and we all have our own parameters and boundaries and modes of operation in these different areas of our life.
00:08:57
Speaker
but or lives But I do think it's important to look at different types of friendship and also appreciate them for what they are and where they are. So you can look at childhood friendships and who might fall into that category for you. Work friends, those are important because work is a stressful environment. But if you happen to be fortunate enough to have work friends, definitely show appreciation for that.
00:09:23
Speaker
We also look at for our moms out there, mom friends. Those are important. Some of us might have some long-distance friends. I'm one of those people. I have long-distance friends.
00:09:34
Speaker
And in this time of year, finding ways to still celebrate all of those different types of friendships and nurture those friendships as well. I think that's what's really important about Galentine's Day and just this time of year in general, that it creates the opportunity to nurture these connections and these friendships as well.
00:09:55
Speaker
So when it comes to
Challenging Stereotypes of Female Interactions
00:09:56
Speaker
female friendships, I think that one of the beautiful things about Galentine's Day and this in general is how we kind of get to like break some myths ah as well, which maybe it's my own little bubble and valid. Okay. Maybe it is my own little bubble, but like I have not been in a situation in a really long time where it's like that whole, i want to call it a trope because I read too much, but like that a whole thing where it's like women are catty and like women can't be friends with each other because they're just going to be like fight and like catty and blah, blah, blah and drama. Like, like I've,
00:10:41
Speaker
I don't know. Like, okay, first of all, i went to an all girls high school and it was not like that. And that's the first thing people always tell me. It's like, oh my God, he went to an all girls high school. That must've horrible. So much drama and like cattiness. And it's like, no, no, it was not like that at all. Was there drama? Yeah, sometimes. Was there cattiness? Not that I recall.
00:11:00
Speaker
But that's always people's first assumption about my high school experience at an all-girls high school. And recently, someone else had mentioned the whole like cattiness thing about like women.
00:11:13
Speaker
And like, this myth is so pervasive. Does it happen? Like, is it based on some sort of form of reality? Yeah, I'm sure there's some of that at some point, but I feel like it's very middle school.
00:11:27
Speaker
But like people have this myth and it's pervasive and they think that it goes into adulthood as well. And i think that being able to come to the point where we are celebrating each other and celebrating our friendships and celebrating loudly can really help dismantle that stereotype essentially.
Celebrating and Supporting Friends
00:11:50
Speaker
But again, if you are listening to this and you're like, okay, cool. Like, even if I'm in a relationship or like, I really want to like find a way now I feel inspired to celebrate my female friends and to celebrate my girlfriends and all of that. My mom friends, my long distance friends, whatever it might be.
00:12:05
Speaker
like, what can we do to support each other? If you haven't done any of these things already, this is definitely the opportunity to do so. but one, celebrate wins. Whatever win might have happened in your friend's life recently or last year,
00:12:19
Speaker
Take the time now to celebrate. If you celebrated before, show appreciation again for it. Like people have anniversary parties for like romantic relationships. Like if somebody got a new job and you congratulated them last year, like congratulate them again. Maybe they've been at their new job for a year. Like valid reason to celebrate.
00:12:36
Speaker
And the thing is like, you know, offering encouragement as well during challenging times. Because again, like, you know your friends fairly well. And sometimes we might be going through a difficult time and we might still keep it to ourselves and we might not talk about it much. or We might hint at it a little bit, but we don't deep dive it.
00:12:55
Speaker
Or maybe your friend has mentioned something like, don't feel like talking about it right now. I just want to talk about anything else other than this difficult thing I'm experiencing, which is a valid sentiment too. But sometimes just be like, hey, like I know that you've been going through a difficult time and, you know, i just want to like, you know, let you know that I'm here for you and you can always reach out to me if you want to talk about it or not. if you just want a distraction, like we could hang out, like whatever it might be.
00:13:21
Speaker
Just give them a little bit of encouragement if you know they've been going through a difficult or challenging time. And also more encouraging words when you know that they are trying to get some huge accomplishments and achievements, when they're working on major, major projects, whether they're personal, professional, financial, their hobbies, whatever it might be, like giving words of encouragement in those areas as well can go a very long way.
Ways to Celebrate Female Friendships
00:13:48
Speaker
For those of us who are in a more professional realm, I know I did mention work friends. Maybe you have work acquaintances. Maybe you're in a male-dominated field or whatever it might be. um Some ways that you can create more support for women supporting women it would be mentorship, networking. If you're in the opportunity or if you're in the position of maybe opening some doors for other women as well in the workplace, that is a very amazing and beautiful thing to do as well, creating those types of opportunities.
00:14:18
Speaker
So what are some things you can do other than that, like very emotional support kind of stuff? What are some other things you can do to essentially celebrate your Galentines? You know, maybe not your Valentines, but your Galentines.
00:14:34
Speaker
The simple one, the easy one, the one that I actually was talking about with work friends recently was brunch. Brunch. We love a good brunch. Okay. I did brunch recently with a work friend of mine back in December.
00:14:47
Speaker
and you know what? Back in like August, Trader Joe's had a pumpkin spice wine. and I told my friend about it and I was like, you need to rent Trader Joe's and get this wine because it's so good. i did not expect it to be this good.
00:14:59
Speaker
And it was a limited time item, unfortunately. So they didn't have a chance to get it. So her and I went out to brunch. We went to a place where they just had like a cork fee to open up your own like wine bottle that you bring.
00:15:11
Speaker
we had time. We had amazing food. we drank the entire bottle of wine over the course of like two and a half hours or so around there. And it was fun. We had a good time. so you could do that too.
00:15:26
Speaker
Schedule a time this month to do that with your friends. For our long distance friends, maybe a little virtual hangout, maybe some video calls, maybe some videos or voice notes, but a virtual hangout might be what's needed. spa days, maybe a little adventure dates or my favorite, my favorite thing in the whole world, coffee, the coffee dates, boba.
00:15:50
Speaker
Boba, go to a new Boba spot. That would be fantastic. Okay. That would be my idea of a good Galentine's date. Trying out a new Boba spot, dessert place. Ooh, you know what I've seen recently they have, there've been a couple of like, I've gotten TikToks for it. There's one in Orange County, maybe a couple of Orange County. And then like one, I think in like Altadena, Pasadena area, where it's like high tea.
00:16:15
Speaker
Where you get like the little like tea and like the little like thing of like cookies and pastries and like little tiny sandwiches. You can do that. That looks super cute. You could get all dressed up for it too.
00:16:26
Speaker
Some other cute things, some little handwritten notes, some small gifts, planning a surprise as a well, or simply just overall quality time. Maybe you just want to order in and just hang out and do a whole lot of nothing together.
Reflecting on Long-Term Friendships
00:16:40
Speaker
That goes a long way too.
00:16:42
Speaker
Ultimately, when it comes to our friendships overall, our friendships with other women, really take the time to pause and appreciate, one, how much you have been there for each other.
00:16:57
Speaker
and Also appreciate how far your friends have have come in life, in their careers, in their personal lives, and find ways to show that appreciation.
00:17:10
Speaker
Because many times we might have been friends with these individuals, maybe our whole lives if we're so fortunate, maybe since high school, maybe since college, like in my case. And it's been...
00:17:27
Speaker
It's been like 15 years plus that you've been friends with this person now because college was a long time ago. College was a long time ago now. But your friendship has spanned decades. And just think of all of the amazing things that you have gone through together separately and supported each other and all of the amazing things that your friend has achieved and accomplished in that time.
00:17:52
Speaker
And find some ways to show that person, your friend, your bestie, show them some appreciation because they're worth it. Your friendship is worth it. And... I think it is very true and very valid that the friendships, the relationships, the connections that we have with other women are some of the most profound that we will ever have in our entire lives.
00:18:17
Speaker
And I think that there is a lot of credence to fact that perhaps are friendships with other women are our most important relationships, even more important than the romantic relationships we might have.
00:18:32
Speaker
If you stayed this far into the episode, i truly appreciate you. If you liked the episode, if you got something from it, don't forget to give it this episode, the podcast, a five-star review because it helps us get out to more people who need to hear this stuff.
00:18:47
Speaker
And if you appreciated it, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast as well. Additionally, I am certified life coach and I am currently accepting clients. So if you would like help with accountability, help with reaching your goals, need any kind of support, go ahead and schedule your very own discovery call through the link in the show notes we can talk about how we can work together.
00:19:13
Speaker
Until next time, keep growing.