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A Special Replay, Five Years in Heaven
54 Plays3 days ago
Today marks 5 Years in Heaven for our amazing Mom. So we bring you a BONUS episode this week with a special replay — a conversation we had with our mom before she went to Heaven. It’s hard to believe, today marks five years since she’s been with Jesus, and we wanted to honor her by sharing her voice, her wisdom, and her joy again.
If you’ve listened before, we pray it brings a fresh reminder of her love and the legacy she left in each of us. And if it’s your first time hearing it, you’ll quickly understand why she was everyone’s favorite person.
Here’s to celebrating her life, her laughter, and the faith that continues to shape ours. We love you forever, Mom.
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Transcript
Introduction to the Podcast and Hosts
00:00:00
Speaker
Hello and welcome to the Girl I Slept in My Makeup podcast by three sisters who are at three different life stages and have three different perspectives. They're excited to learn and grow alongside of you. This is a space full of love and acceptance.
00:00:12
Speaker
No judgment because let's face it, sleeping in your makeup is more than a podcast title. It's a reminder that we all mess up. So give yourself and others lots of grace. Please welcome my three little sisters, Lauren, Megan, and Kristen.
Special Guest Introduction: Mom, the Natural Life Coach
00:00:32
Speaker
Hey sisters. Hi. Well, we are excited to share someone with you today who is so very special to the three of us.
00:00:46
Speaker
We all share something in common with her and she is the one and only Miss Jill, AKA our mom. Hi Hey mom.
00:00:57
Speaker
Hey. um
00:01:01
Speaker
Thank you so much for ah willing to last minute hop on a call with us. And we're just so excited to hang out for the next bit or so. And anybody who knows our mom personally, we i can't tell you how many friends of all three of ours,
00:01:21
Speaker
through the years, since we were little bitty all the way to current day, and they always say the same thing about mom. They always say that she is so comforting. Anytime anybody, well, I mean, they want to talk to her anytime, but anytime somebody is going through a hard time in their life, they want to talk to Mama Jill. She's just a natural life coach. um And we are just so lucky that we get to call her our mom. But We ah also just felt super lucky to be able to share her too with all of our friends growing up and our house growing up was kind of a free for all weekend talk maybe more about that in detail.
00:02:00
Speaker
But think that both you and dad just made everybody um feel welcome and heard. And i think now as an adult, I think one thing that you always did, and I didn't really even realize it at the time, was just you respected us even as children. And I think that even as a young child, you feel that. um so thank you for that.
00:02:26
Speaker
Yeah. ah hey You're welcome. Yeah, but i i I could give you like your introduction and resume could be so long. You have so much wisdom, but today there's not enough time for us to squeeze all of your wisdom into one episode.
Focus on Parenthood: Lessons and Experiences
00:02:43
Speaker
But I think today let's focus on just motherhood and fatherhood and we'll kind of just ask you questions about your experience, things that you learned things that you think you did right. Maybe things that you, if you got a second chance, you would have done different and yeah just share all your good stuff with us.
00:03:03
Speaker
But I think Kristen has a little something fun. Cause she's so fun. Yeah. we What are we going to start with, Kristen? Well, first off, if you celebrate Easter, happy um hope everyone had a happy Easter Sunday.
00:03:19
Speaker
yes Yes, for sure. But yeah, we thought it would be fun to have a family chat. So I wanted to start off with a little game, Mom.
Fun Family Dynamics: A Game with Mom
00:03:28
Speaker
So rules are you have to pick one of us is the answer. And you can't think too hard. Okay. Whatever comes to mind, just choose. And she also picked Brian or just... I guess you can pick Brian too. Okay.
00:03:40
Speaker
Yeah. Cause he's a sibling. So, um for those of you don't know, Brian is our brother. Okay. Mom, you ready? and Okay. Okay. Who would you call to bail you out of jail?
00:03:51
Speaker
Probably Lauren. Lauren. Okay. Who would you tell a secret to? Y'all already know the answers to these. a Probably. I, I tell what my secrets to each of you. Can I pick that?
00:04:04
Speaker
I'll let that one slide. I'll let that one slide. Who, who is the funniest? Yeah. I would have to say, well, it's all circumstantial. It could be either any of y'all, but I think Lauren can really get us laughing hard.
00:04:18
Speaker
Okay. Who is the best dancer? I would say Megan has a passion for dancing. Okay. whos in is very And is very good at it. Yes, she is. Brian might disagree with that answer. but Oh, wow. Wow. Yeah. I i left Brian out His picture's not in front of me. Yeah.
00:04:36
Speaker
I don't know. Y'all have, we need to, y'all, we got to have a dance off. You and Brian. Yeah. I mean. Yeah. I mean, have a bird the other two can be in there too, but the two of y'all for sure.
00:04:46
Speaker
oh my gosh. Yeah. Brian would definitely say he's the winner, but absolutely. I'll, I'll just pick Brian. Okay. I got to pick him for who is the best listener.
00:04:57
Speaker
um gosh. Y'all. If you had to choose one. feel like this is kind of mean to do to a mom. I know. Well, I'm going to remember all these answers when she's old.
00:05:09
Speaker
Yeah, like you know ah who's your favorite? Who's your favorite? You know that I don't allow that one. oh my gosh. Okay. So who's the best listener?
00:05:21
Speaker
Best listener? Gosh. Y'all all are really good communicators, and y'all are just such a good listeners. I feel like Lauren's a listener. listen I honestly, y'all all, I feel heard by each one of you.
00:05:34
Speaker
I'm sorry. Okay. who can drive you the most crazy? You know, the answer to that one. ma problem Probably Brian, because I can sit there and talk things out with y'all.
00:05:50
Speaker
Yeah. that i ah And I honestly, all my answers are long answers. b Brian, at this point in my life, Nobody can really drive me crazy. I have been able, I'm 65 years old. Maybe as a kid. As kid who drove you the most crazy? Gosh, probably you, Kristen, because you and I are the most probably alike.
00:06:13
Speaker
I thought that would be your answer. Okay. ah Okay. Who was the hardest baby? b Brian, because he was the first and I didn't know what I was doing. Okay.
00:06:24
Speaker
Who is most like you? God, y'all. Y'all most? Yes. i I'm going to say y'all are each a piece of me. But if you had to say who's the most like you? The most?
00:06:36
Speaker
i would say you, Kristen. um Okay. I like that. ah Who is the most like dad? You. What? I can't. Hold on.
00:06:49
Speaker
Let's break that down. How am I the most like you and dad? I be like a walking bomb. Yeah. bomb
00:07:04
Speaker
Oh, nobody can understand why we're laughing so hard, maybe, unless people really know us. Oh, my God. Yeah. Oh, God. Wait, Mom, I think you need to retreat your who's most like you. i think I would say Megan.
00:07:18
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, it's all perception, right? Megan. I just see Megan. Oh, gosh. up This is – I don't really like this game because –
00:07:30
Speaker
The way I see you guys is y'all is in the fun. It's just the funnest thing, including Brian, is y'all are each a combination of you your dad and me and other relatives.
00:07:42
Speaker
And it's just fun to see myself in y'all, especially because sometimes y'all ah take me and do it even the way I would want to do it even more.
00:07:55
Speaker
You know, so that's just really fun. You know, yeah. Like Megan can, she's so much like me, but she can do a freaking standing backflip. not anymore Do a cartwheel.
00:08:08
Speaker
that You know, it's just, but that's part of my passion and and enjoyment of my kids. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Okay. So I'm the biggest of each of you got it.
00:08:21
Speaker
Who gives the best advice? Y'all, y'all are, I hate to tell you, but y'all are all so much alike in all of this. You know, like all those things that the way y'all describe me, it's like, it's y'all, you know, like I think everybody, i would just say that I bet all of your friends describe you the way you describe me.
00:08:45
Speaker
Yeah. and And it's, that's fun too. I mean, I'm just, you know, all about me. So. Yeah. Oh my gosh. It's funny. I forgot we were recording for a second when we were laughing.
00:09:00
Speaker
Oh my God. that's so funny. um Okay, mom, two more. Okay. Who's most likely to pass gas in public? Oh, gee, me.
00:09:12
Speaker
Wait, I kind of agree with that answer. Yeah.
00:09:17
Speaker
Or you're a plant be. and Or if i if I'm good and I don't eat lectins, then I don't have gas at a all. Oh, love it. Love it. Okay. Who's the biggest sailor?
00:09:29
Speaker
Sailor? Yeah. Like boating? No, like cusser. oh Oh. Oh, my God. God. Oh. Right over your head.
00:09:40
Speaker
That went over my head, too. i was like, sailor? None of us can sail. Yeah. Gosh, I don't notice y'all. Y'all don't cuss around me that much. was going to say, I think you, mom.
00:09:53
Speaker
Yeah, me. for me That happens to women as they get older and their kids aren't around anymore. i think that because my mom was a golfer and I never heard her cuss in my whole life. And then when she was older and playing golf, I just was shocked.
00:10:12
Speaker
So i decided old I decided old women started getting, you know, like men-ish. They lose their estrogen and become men. Oh, my gosh. That's horrible, Mom.
00:10:27
Speaker
That's crazy. Okay, well, that's the end of the game. I know was brutal. Aw, honey. yeah i I haven't laughed that hard in like a few weeks. So that was good.
00:10:38
Speaker
Yeah. so mom, let's take you back way back when we were, let's say for those that don't know, there's a 10 year age span between Brian, our older brother and Kristen is the baby. So there's 10 years between them.
00:10:55
Speaker
So let's try to take you back to the days when let's say Kristen was ah toddler and Brian was maybe in his early teens.
Parenting Wisdom: Love, Respect, and Individuality
00:11:06
Speaker
So if you can go back to those days and you chose to stay at home with us um from the time that you started having children and that was intentional and something that you always dreamt of doing and you and dad made that happen. and so what would you say to all the moms and dads out there that maybe are in that phase of life, if you could choose maybe just the first thing, there's so much I know, so this is a hard question, but if you could just choose maybe your top few words of wisdom, um things that you are so glad that you did, and maybe some things that you, or something that you wish you would have done different maybe,
00:11:50
Speaker
Just share that with us. Okay. So what I would want to yeah. And I love, I like the idea that y'all would ask me questions that the answers would serve you and where you are. Cause you know, I could talk all day long.
00:12:05
Speaker
ah My passion is a person is to nurture and to help people become the fullness of who they are in it. Whether that be my, that still having kids that just fit right into that.
00:12:18
Speaker
And, but I, I love to do that for everyone else. And what I've learned as life has gone on is to put me as the focus of that. And I think that's the key thing that I would want to say is that I had these kids. It was my intention. i couldn't think of anything, job, product I could do.
00:12:37
Speaker
that was not more valuable than a human being. So that was a lot of pressure on you guys, i think.
00:12:46
Speaker
oh But I did, I just had such joy in watching y'all open up as, as human beings. anne the way I saw you guys was my teachers, because I mean, ah surely as you've had your children,
00:13:02
Speaker
use you just see that they're already a person and it's just nurturing them to be that and to try to let go of and believe I did it like the preconceived supposed tos.
00:13:15
Speaker
But the biggest thing that I would want to say, cause I'll probably ramble is, is fear. And that is your biggest enemy. And it's because it's such a feeling of responsibilities for these little guys. And that if,
00:13:29
Speaker
things don't go well, it's all on you and that you could, didn't do it right. Could have done it better. And as I've gotten older, I'm a, I'm not the person I was when y'all were little at all, you know, I've grown.
00:13:45
Speaker
And so, yeah, I would go back and be ah doing it. different I get to do it different with my great kids. But it's just love. It's just love and appreciation and respect. Like you said, of who they are and they,
00:13:59
Speaker
they can teach you all day long. You know, if you just get in their face and ask them questions about who they are. My favorite parenting book I ever read said that the most important thing to a child is they feel like somebody's watching them grow up.
00:14:15
Speaker
And that's my favorite thing to do with my grandkids is just to see and watch them imagine and create and, you Say things like, Nana, your arms are empty. You need to fill them up see the fact got up.
00:14:34
Speaker
Just seeing the world from their point of view. i think one thing that um one of the best parenting words of wisdom that I learned
Building Confidence and Independence in Children
00:14:44
Speaker
in the past few years that just resonated with me, and I feel like you always did this well, is...
00:14:50
Speaker
it just to not to to not take too much credit for the good and the bad of our children. And I think that that's so humbling, you know, humbling in the way of to not take too much credit for all the good that they do and that they are and all of that, but also in the hard moments when they do make...
00:15:11
Speaker
not the greatest choices or whatever it is to also not be so hard on yourself because like you said we come out and we are truly our own person even though we have pieces of you and it is a process from the time they're born and I was so possessive I really I seriously wouldn't let anybody even hold y'all even for um you let people hold me Well, yeah I was the youngest.
00:15:37
Speaker
Yeah. You were the four. She was like, okay, fine. I mean, the guy changed my diaper one time. So, Hey, I wasn't there. That was me and Brian.
00:15:48
Speaker
That was but babysitter, Brian and Lauren. Um, yeah, I just, I do. i think every it's, it's a journey of letting them go all along, you know, all the way across, even when y'all got married,
00:16:02
Speaker
you know, there's just a new stage of letting go and but and sending y'all off into the world. I think that was the thing. i was like, oh my gosh, you know, I have to give the world my children.
00:16:13
Speaker
i have to let them go. and um I think you just can't understand each stage till you're there. it's It's not fun. yeah And it's that For me, I don't know what, you know, I gave you to God. It's like God gave y'all to me and I had to give you back to God and trust him with you. But most of all, from the time you were little, it was to trust you with yourself that you knew and what was best for you, right which that might not have always been the case, but that i instilled in you that I trusted you with you.
00:16:49
Speaker
No, I think you did. I mean, I get it. I get what you're saying, like age appropriate, of course. But I think from all of us at a young age, you know, people that know us well have have asked us and and this isn't like tooting our own horns. But, you know, we've heard like, how are you so confident, you know? And I think that mom and dad are a lot. Of course, we're our own people. But I think that yeah you guys can take a lot of credit for that because,
00:17:15
Speaker
Not only one where we just like the, we've talked about this before, just so much love from both of you. But, um but also mom, I think me having an only child, I have to really be conscious of, um I've, I, we, me and you have had these conversations. I'm like, mom, having one, you know, I have,
00:17:37
Speaker
enough of me to where I can put all my focuses on him. Whereas you with four, that just wasn't physically possible or time-wise possible. So I think by you allowing us to do things like as soon as age appropriate, we were able Um, and even if we weren't yet like letting us believe that we could, i think that that did so much for our confidence.
00:18:00
Speaker
And I try to be more like that with my son Kai because, because it's easy for me to do too much for him. And it always has been so, that's something that I try to just be aware of on a daily basis, uh, because I think I see how it positively affected us in our childhood slash adulthood.
00:18:21
Speaker
Um, so anyway. Yeah. Yeah. Cause I remember from a very young age just thinking I could do anything like always, even if I couldn't, I remember being like, I didn't know how to read, but I sure told everybody I did, you know, yeah.
00:18:36
Speaker
I would just make up the words as I went, you know, in the book. Make it until you make it. No. Yeah. okay Well, mom, didn't you say like maybe you should have backed off a little bit on how much confidence we all have?
00:18:50
Speaker
yeah Well, she said that with Brian. Well, and and here's how I thought about that one is I always said, you know, I just preached this one. It's like, if you want a man, a boy to grow into a man, treat him like a man. And that's kind of the saying in it just like, well what do you think? And and that that y'all were kind of, I put you in the space of being the leader in your life.
00:19:17
Speaker
And quite honestly, that kind is how I would go back and be more in the middle. I don't think that I'm more, ah I'm a woman of my generation and I would definitely put myself more in the mix of, oh, I don't what say. Priority, I think.
00:19:37
Speaker
a Priority. yeah please Yeah. That's something that I did want to touch on just because you've been very open and vocal with us about as we kind of entered into marriage and having our own
Balancing Self-Care and Family Needs
00:19:47
Speaker
children. And, you know, I remember when I was getting married and One of the, I think at one of my showers, I think you said something like always make time and put your husband first and, and, and yourself as two.
00:20:01
Speaker
And I know that as you watch Megan and I and Brian and Brandy, like parenthood. ah you know, you were always when Kai was young, you were always nudging on me, Lauren, take care of yourself, you know, and I wasn't.
00:20:14
Speaker
And so it's so easy not to. But I think that that's something that you've openly shared with us is if you could go back and do things a little different, it's that you would definitely put yourself higher up on the priority list. And I think that it did like If we're being completely honest, I think that the way that it was, it it did. It just kind of allowed us to think that maybe we were, oh I don't know how to say this, but.
00:20:42
Speaker
ah well Well, we were kind of brats a little bit. Y'all, there was a little entitlement in there, I think. Yeah, I think so too, because you didn't put yourself first. Well, I do i taught y'all how to to be that. la I think the funniest thing, and it showed it the largest, and Lauren, you can cut this out if you want.
00:21:02
Speaker
But Lauren, when I came to Dallas and ah I was working for the first time with Lauren, because I worked, but Lauren had already left home. And she said that when...
00:21:14
Speaker
I didn't pick up the phone like first, second ring. She would feel like anger or like high frustration inside. when she told me that, I went, it was it's time for me to go to work. Yeah.
00:21:29
Speaker
No, I mean, it's true. I think that you, we got used to, um, and dad too, you know, when y'all were married, but it was like, we just got used to mom always being available. And it's not to say that you didn't have your own friends in your own life, but for us, you would drop anything and everything for whatever we needed in that moment.
00:21:52
Speaker
And I think that, you know, a lot of that's just natural as a, as a mom, I get it. But yeah, no, certainly I remember like whenever you started working outside the home for the first time and it's like, I was used to calling you. And if you didn't answer, you'd be calling me right back and like not being able to get ahold of you. And I'm like, what the hell?
00:22:12
Speaker
Come on, mom. You're my content. You're letting me down. I never heard that. That's really funny. I actually forgot about that, but I i don't doubt it at all.
00:22:22
Speaker
um But I have to say also, i kind of required that you, this is kind of the opposite of what I just said, but I kind of required that y'all took care of me also.
00:22:34
Speaker
You know, it was like, it wasn't just that I was running around carrying your suitcase. It was, you were responsible for yourself, but so you kind of, I needed your help.
00:22:45
Speaker
Yeah. You know? to make it all work and all the things that we did. i mean, we did a lot. Oh yeah, for sure. remember the other thing that I would do. Oh, go ahead, Megan. Oh, I was just saying, and I remember, I think when we were little, obviously you get to that point where you what like chores became a big thing. Like you were definitely, yes, we were a little bratty at times, but I feel like you and dad did a really good job.
00:23:10
Speaker
of like leading us out of that brattiness and being independent. And like, we all had jobs at an early aid, um, help, like help take care of the house and do all the things. Like, I don't think we were just laying around letting you do in everything. I think y'all did a good job also of teaching us.
00:23:25
Speaker
One thing I did, and, um, I don't know if it really worked or not, but I, I wanted it to work. And I would, it was very manipulative. I would talk about you in front of you and describe you in the ways that I wanted you to be. well hoping Hoping that you would believe me, you know, like, oh, they always just get their homework done. I never have to say anything. And yeah, they're just, there's I literally do that with Joe. Like I learned to do that.
00:23:56
Speaker
from you. That's a great parenting tool, mom. Way to go area hey before we Before we get off this topic, I just have to share that a read that I'm not quite finished yet, but I've started it. And I just think that it's so amazing. It's a book that's called How to Raise Grateful Children in an Entitled World.
00:24:17
Speaker
And the author's actually from Texas. But anyway, I'm probably about a third of the way through, but I just think it's such a great read for any parents out there that are interested.
00:24:28
Speaker
It's really, really good. um And kind of goes along with... What did you like the most about it? Well, I'm not done yet, but it's just... um I mean, it kind of just goes back to Well, it talks about the different you know generational... Kind of what you were saying, Mom, and just like why... thing why generations are the way that they are And it just gives a lot of, it's not really how-to book. It's more of like the author sharing their experience with their children and things that have worked for them.
00:25:01
Speaker
And so anyway, it's just a really good read. um And it's in at the end of each chapter, it gives exercises that you can ask yourself and kind of actual tools that you can implement with your own children, which I really, really love.
00:25:17
Speaker
So I do think that Megan, what along with what you were saying, somehow that even though we were raised um in a world where we had everything that we needed and wanted, we all also were raised with a sense of gratitude. And I think that You did such a great job at instilling just how to live that life of like to focus on the good things and the positive, both you and dad, and so always be grateful for what we had. And I think a lot of that was seeing others, whether it was traveling or whatever, to see just have a bigger perspective of the world. And we didn't live in this so-called bubble that I suppose we could have. Yeah.
00:26:02
Speaker
And so that's just something that I'm super grateful for is that we were able to kind of see a world outside of the one that we were living in. I think that's just served us well into our adulthood.
00:26:17
Speaker
Yeah, definitely. Yeah. And I think too, this quarantine time brings us all back to like focusing on our parenting a little bit more, at least for me. I think just being a working mom, sometimes I was just trying to survive.
00:26:31
Speaker
And I mean, and I'm still am just trying to survive now working and a like homeschooling. But at the same time, has made me like focus in a little bit more and like really think about all the things that I loved, how mom parented and ah and I always was trying to emulate her in a lot of ways, but like even more now, I think I'm like trying to make sure, you know, i do the things. Yeah.
00:26:55
Speaker
All these things about parenting, it can get quite overwhelming and, but honestly, they just want you to know them yeah and to be accepted. Yeah. It's kind of simple. Yeah.
00:27:07
Speaker
And i mean, that's what I want. And so I think everybody just, in their own place and own experiences kind of give what they want. That's so true because I just feel like so many, well, all of us are, I'm not going to say like effed up, but usually are whatever issues that we carry with us through our life.
00:27:26
Speaker
They always see anybody who goes through life coaching or counseling or therapy or whatever. It it always tends to be like, okay, well let's trace this back to either like a traumatic event or like something from your childhood. And, and it doesn't even have to be like a significant event or something traumatic, but you know, what was your relationship with your mother and father and what was their relation, you know, generational.
00:27:47
Speaker
And I think that mom, I love the way that you just said it, that like, you know, once we cut, you can cut off that generational thing, like, let's just break this down to simple life terms. Like,
00:27:59
Speaker
if you can heal and break off whatever it is that you might have carried with you and then starting with your own children, it's like, if you can just be an abundance of love and acceptance and, um and what, like what you said, mom, to really know your children and be interested in them and who they really are.
00:28:21
Speaker
i think that that's awesome advice. You know, if we could all do that. what I love that. just And it kind of It kind of leads to the last thing that I really wanted to say, you know, because you look back on your life. And there's one thing I always say, once you know how to do something, i' you're I'm never doing it anymore.
00:28:39
Speaker
You know, it's like, okay, i'm I've learned the lessons and did them all wrong. And now i think I got it. And then it's not there for some, that's just seems how my life has gone, including parenting.
00:28:51
Speaker
But um that's why it's fun to be a grandparent. You can just kind of, you know. you can do it good because it's only for short periods of time. and Yeah.
00:29:02
Speaker
But it's, I think if I could have gone back and done anything differently, it's too bad that I can't go back and be me now, but that's just not how, what life is about. It's about our journey. And I, I've always said this one, that if we won't learn something that we need to know a truth, we won't heal from something we're holding on to some unforgiveness or thinking that's wrong, that,
00:29:26
Speaker
That if we're real stubborn about it, then God will give us a child that that issue is brought up and we're stubborn and we won't learn it for our own self. that will be motivated to learn it through the child. and I'm not saying I'm so stubborn that God had to give me four children because that would be really mean to do that to one child. Yeah, that's funny.
00:29:50
Speaker
So but what I want to say is that anything, and this, I especially saw it as y'all, you know, went to college and my experience, and I've heard other parents say is like,
00:30:00
Speaker
You feel like you need more time.
Personal Growth and Learning from Children
00:30:03
Speaker
There's still there's still more to teach and it's too late. and And then parents get obnoxious because they're still trying to parent.
00:30:13
Speaker
And what I've found is, and and I wish I had used this more even more earlier, is if there's something that I see in my child that I would like to be different, and this is true about other people, not just our children, find it in yourself and work on it.
00:30:30
Speaker
And I, there was the, I can't remember the exact issue, but there was something that I was really learning, um about myself. It just kept, the subject just kept coming up and I was learning and I finally felt like, oh my God, I have such growth in this. I see it now.
00:30:47
Speaker
Oh my gosh. I want my kids to have this. And, you know, wish, I know that they've i've passed this other way of thinking on and i want to be able to tell them and I swear, i don't remember which one, it's probably been with all of you in one way or another.
00:31:03
Speaker
You'll all get a phone call that day and life had taught you that exact lesson and you will be telling me about it. um And it's, I don't know if this is going to make sense to anybody, but it's just that work on yourself.
00:31:18
Speaker
If there's something about kill yeah you know your children, mirror you. And when you get in that anxious, oh my gosh, and controlling place, whether they're little or not, you know, just if,
00:31:31
Speaker
it's so powerful. Yeah. Yeah. And I agree. Change it it in yourself. And it's almost like supernaturally it will be changed in them because you changed it in you. So if any of you out there, and others who haven't had children yet, moral the story is go work on yourself and get, get all your same thing. Like when you're going to get all your issues, when you're going to get married,
00:31:54
Speaker
Like go, go turn into the person that you want to marry, you know, that you'll match up with. yeah It's the same. I was going to say, it's not just for kids. Like that's something that's always stuck with me that I felt like I learned from you, mom. It's like, you know, if you're pointing the finger, you might as well just point that finger in the mirror. Like if something really, which has been really frustrating too, because it's like, gosh, I can't stand this girl. And I'm like, oh, it's probably because there's something in her I don't like about myself.
00:32:19
Speaker
shit. Like, yeah, i didn yeah that's that's a hard pill to swallow. And yeah. And you have to let yourself more fit into, it won't be exactly the same, but if you dig, you'll find it. Yeah, exactly. Well, and if nothing else, it gets you focused on yourself and improving yourself versus being angry about some other person, you know?
00:32:41
Speaker
Right. Well, yeah. Cause we're, we're the only ones we can control. Well, and Well, yeah. yeah Love to have each of us kind of talk about a favorite memory about mom or, you know, whatever you're you want to say, but I thought we could start that.
00:33:00
Speaker
Yeah, that's funny because I was actually going there without. I was just thinking like as I reflect just on my whole life and and relationship with mom, um i think what I appreciate, I mean, there's so many things that I appreciate.
00:33:17
Speaker
and value and just feel so grateful every day to have you. But it's that even though your expectations and dad, you know, this kind of goes along and that your expectations for us were always very high.
00:33:34
Speaker
And I think for ourselves too, I think you instilled that in us. um But one thing that I always felt like, secure with is that I did feel like I was being watched. I did feel like I was loved for who I was.
00:33:52
Speaker
And even if even like you shared, even if it was you saying you are this, but no, I do feel like my entire life, of course, ah a phase of life, I wanted to fit in with the crowd. And I, you know, I didn't want to stand out, which I think is just a normal kind of phase of life.
00:34:09
Speaker
in our childhood. However, i did deep down inside always feel super secure in who I was and confident in who I was. And and as I've gotten older, just you know, each each year that goes by, I'm just more secure in that and love that um and love who I am. And I think that I just thank you for, you know, allowing us to be from the time we were a little bitty who we were and to like, to like that and to encourage it. And so, um yeah, I just thank you for, i feel like, you know, i don't, I don't like to compare with anybody, but I just feel like we, all four of us are just so blessed that we got a mom and a dad like you, that whether you knew what you were doing intentionally or not,
00:34:56
Speaker
um you know, we didn't have to have a lot of, you you know, generational inherited issues to carry through life. And I just feel so lucky because the older I get, i think that that's probably, you know, not the norm.
00:35:09
Speaker
For sure. Yeah. Yeah. Kristen, you want to go? um Yeah. I mean, I'll keep it short and sweet. um I think the biggest thing I would say is my whole life. I've always just felt no one has ever made me feel more understood than my mom, um which is you, Jill Redmond.
00:35:29
Speaker
and
00:35:32
Speaker
Wait, that reminded me of like mama. Like she would call you and be like, or leave you a message and be like, this is mama here or sign off. This is mama. Yeah. Yeah. Dad does that too. yeah but but I don't know if that makes sense or not, but like, I've never felt more understood and I don't think anyone will be, I don't know if anyone will be able to do that other than you. I don't know. We'll see.
00:35:56
Speaker
Like I said, Christine, you are me. Yeah. Yeah, no, I do feel like our lives and um you speaking of like learning lessons, I feel like we've very much mirrored in that way where I'm learning the lessons that you're learning. And um I'm so glad that I've been able to do that alongside with somebody, even though if it took you having me to learn lessons, I don't know. But yeah.
00:36:21
Speaker
Yeah. theory but I just love you. And I really have y'all ever seen that video where it's like, it shows the little kid growing up and then it shows like the mom's perception of it. And it's like two very different things. Like the mom is like, Oh, I'm effing up everywhere. And the kid's just like, Oh, she's just so perfect.
00:36:38
Speaker
Yeah. Like, That's how I feel like ah mom I feel like you were literally the best mom and I couldn't have had anything better. And obviously I'm biased. um But yeah, you just are such a great human being and I love you so much.
00:36:53
Speaker
Oh, I love all of this. It's cool because this time in quarantine, I know for everybody, I've heard lots of people talking about how it's bringing them closer to family because they're just talking more.
00:37:04
Speaker
and not so like focused on all the extra stuff. And it's kind of cool because we get to do that here too. um But yeah, mom, I mean, there's a million things I love about you. So I could go on and on. But I think in recent years, it's just been really fun to become a mom of girls and connect with you on that level. I think everybody that's become a mom and after they become a mom, they're like, Oh my gosh, mom, I'm so sorry for everything that I did. Yeah. Cause you just realize like what it's the, what a mother's love is like, you know, it's just beyond anything you can ever explain.
00:37:39
Speaker
And just seeing how much my girls like are literally obsessed with you. Like, I feel like it comes from me. Like I'm obsessed with you. That's just, you know, it's just like transcends. It's like a the coolest thing.
Parental Influence and Self-Improvement
00:37:50
Speaker
bond that you guys have and that's like bonded through me. But yeah, no, I mean, just your ability to like look at yourself in situations, I think is like one of the biggest lessons that I've learned. I know we've talked about that a lot. And then even today, it's just a good reminder of you talking about, you know, all kids want is to be like love and loved and seen. And I'm like, it's so true. Like sometimes I get caught up in like, oh, she needs to learn and, you know, get ready for kindergarten and all of that. And I'm like,
00:38:17
Speaker
okay, I'm just going to focus on the simplest thing, you know? And yeah, I remember one memory for some reason came to mind when I was saying we should talk about a memory.
00:38:28
Speaker
and There's like a gazillion, but do you remember giving all of us a CD of Martina McBride's song In My Daughter's Eyes? I remember that. think I wouldn't have thought, wow. I don't know if anybody's ever listened to that song, but like that kind of, i remember that like made me cry that song and being a mom, like I feel that same way.
00:38:51
Speaker
So if you haven't listened to that song and you have ah mom or a daughter, go listen to it. So good. It'll make you cry though. Yeah. um Mom, we we will let you talk, but one more thing too, I wanted to add. Yeah.
00:39:05
Speaker
Sorry, yeah is just that i want to share this because I try to do the same because i know what an impact it had me had on me.
00:39:16
Speaker
But that's just that I feel like from a young age, for me anyway, there was opportunities that life presented to where you were able to choose. It was your choice, obviously. And so that's what I'm grateful for is that you chose to share some vulnerable, real moments of your life that made me see you as a human. And we talked about this, I think on our ah previous episode, but just how it's natural to put your parents up on this pedestal and they can't do any wrong and, and all this stuff. But I think that it actually served me that you were able, you've always just been in general, you're just real. And I think that that's one of the reasons people are so drawn to you and feel comfortable with you
00:40:01
Speaker
and talk to you. But, but I think that you allowing me to see you in a human light and to experience unconditional love and what that truly looked like, that no matter what I did or what I didn't do or whatever that you and dad both um have shown numerous times throughout our childhood, just what unconditional love truly looks like. And that,
00:40:24
Speaker
there was no love that was conditional in our household. And so I think that that is just something that I try to replicate. Um, even with Ky being only eight, you know, I try really hard to, um just kind of shed humanity on myself so that he doesn't put that much pressure. Cause I just remember being a kid and like how much pressure I would put on myself.
00:40:47
Speaker
And, um, so yeah. Yeah, totally. Yeah. That's a, To me, that's a long conversation on its own. i mean, in the end, we're we're all flawed.
00:40:58
Speaker
Yeah. You know, we we all are, to me, this is my opinion, we're here to learn. Like we're here on this earth on a journey to but to learn what what love is, what it really is.
00:41:11
Speaker
And that's hard. That's painful. Yeah. and And to learn what the truth really is, because there's all these things that just don't line up. They're not the truth.
00:41:22
Speaker
To learn how not to be afraid, you know, the things that throw us off, you know, just really shake us, that we get to experience those things over and over again until we're not afraid of them anymore.
00:41:36
Speaker
If we can, you know, it's just, that it's like kind of like our job here on earth. in and To me, it's like to be vulnerable with that and to be honest about that story, like, oh, you know, ah wish I would have loved have been able to describe that, you know, when y'all were little.
00:41:55
Speaker
and I think being younger, um' um i don't I'm sure I wouldn't even recognize myself if I was back standing next to me. i would be going, oh, no. But it's just the acceptance of our my own self has been one of my biggest journeys.
00:42:14
Speaker
And that's the most powerful thing you can do because your children are aping you, you know, when you aren't expecting yourself to be all this perfect mom, this perfect everything, you know, because if you're doing that, they're, they're going, Oh, well, that's what I'm supposed to do. and I think that's always for, for most parents I've known is just the things that we've modeled that we were like, Oh,
00:42:40
Speaker
darn it, you know, but it is, it's just to, I've tried to get rid of the word good and bad. And and it's just kind of like a game I play with myself. And I don't allow myself to say anything is good or anything is bad.
00:42:55
Speaker
I've, and I, I mean, I'm sure I still do it, but and the game is not to. And instead I say, I like it or I don't like it because I just don't think I have the perspective to really judge what most things as really good or really bad. and And it's a way of just taking that judgment out of the but playing field.
00:43:17
Speaker
Yeah. know it's If you play with it, it's yeah interesting. Yeah, I like that a lot.
Episode Wrap-Up: Gratitude and Listener Challenge
00:43:21
Speaker
Well, I feel like there's just so many more topics that we can talk about. We'll have to have a Mama Jill part two, three, four, five. Who knows? know. i know Where we can pick. But I feel like today we touched on, I don't know, hopefully a lot of good. Maybe you picked up something little that you can.
00:43:41
Speaker
implement in your own lives, whether you're a parent or not. We just appreciate you mom so much. And, um, is there anything else that you guys, Oh, should we do what we did with Bryant mom? Is there anything that we haven't touched on that you would love to share?
00:43:57
Speaker
oh um No, I think, you know, it was funny because as as thoughts were coming up, you would yeah you would kind of. breath Well, I think we should challenge every um if you haven't told your mom what you love about her ah lately, um give her a call and just tell her all the reasons why you love her.
00:44:16
Speaker
Yeah. And if, if, um, for those out there that maybe you don't have a relationship, um, with your mom and and, or maybe your mom is no longer with us, just maybe choose somebody in your life that has kind of been that role model to you.
00:44:33
Speaker
Um, if your mom still is around and you don't have relationship, maybe think on that and maybe it's a good time to maybe just reach out. Um, there's been some beautiful stories I know out there about reconnection and that's really cool.
00:44:46
Speaker
I do have something I want to add. course you Because I think that we've been, we we have really been talking about hearts and flowers here. And it's just kind of, it's not, it's not this whole story. And I, um hopefully, I just want to put out there that the best and thing about having girls is that they keep it real with their mom.
00:45:10
Speaker
They are I mean, I'm sure there's variations of the stories, but ah they keep it real. They're in your face. They don't let you wear mom jeans. id say They, mean, they usually, you're going to hear exactly how they feel. And being the mom is the hardest part is that there's extreme expectation of who you should be. Yeah.
00:45:36
Speaker
I mean, I'm just going to say we're, our family is as real as the all of them. you know, and that, you know, there's conflict. There's, we, we have all the parts that happen in families and, and thank you for this. for Thank you for this blessing. The parts we like and don't like, right, mom? Yeah. yeah But and it's like we, but love is not an option. And,
00:46:04
Speaker
yeah So that's, that's the. Yeah. And I think that that once again, just goes right along with the heart of this podcast as well. And I think that in episode one, you know, we said that we just almost feel like it's our duty to just share that love that we've just been so freely given and that we just feel so grateful um,
00:46:26
Speaker
have received our entire lives. And, um, thank you, mama Jill, because you're a big part of that. Kristen, thank you for that challenge. Yeah. And we will we hope that everyone is still surviving and, and even thriving out there. Um, and we love you guys. Thanks for hanging out with us again this week and we will see you next week.
00:46:48
Speaker
Thank you for listening to another week of girl. I slept in my makeup. If you like us, rate, review, and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. And if you want to learn more about us or get in touch with us, go to our website, girlisleptinmymakeup.com, where you'll also find links to our Instagram and Facebook.
00:47:07
Speaker
Thank you so much for listening. We really appreciate it and make it a great week. God bless.