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What Dommes Want (and What Really Turns Us Off) | Hypno-Domme Perspective for Submissive Men
261 Plays16 days ago
Are you craving to serve… but unsure how to actually catch the attention of a Domme?
In this episode, I’m pulling back the curtain and giving you an intimate look at what I look for in a submissive man—and what quietly makes me lose interest. As a hypno-Domme and erotic content creator, I interact with submissive men online every day… and trust me, I can feel when someone is the real thing—or just another needy DM.
You’ll learn:
✨ The kind of submissive energy that turns me on
❌ Instant turn-offs and common mistakes submissives make
💡 How to actually stand out and attract a Domme online
💋 What I secretly love—my personal submissive fetishes and favorite behaviors
Every Domme is different, but if you want to please me—this is where to start.
👇 Want to go deeper? Join my world:
🎧 Explore my erotic hypnosis audios, blog, and custom offerings: https://www.missbeatrix.com
💌 Subscribe for updates and special content
#femdom #hypnodomme #submissivemen #dominatrixadvice #onlineD/s #erotichypnosis #findomme #submissiveenergy #DommeTips #BDSMpodcast #femdompodcast
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Transcript
Introduction to 'The Slut Next Door' Podcast
00:00:07
Speaker
Welcome to the Slut Next Door podcast, where we dive deep into desire, unravel kinks and fetishes, and explore the deliciously naughty side of self-discovery.
00:00:25
Speaker
I'm Beatrix Vale, an erotic audio creator, and your guide to all things kinky and curious. So let's begin.
00:00:43
Speaker
Hey there, sweetheart. I'm Beatrix Vale, and if you don't know me, i am a hypnodom, seductive mindfucker, and I'm a voice that lives rent-free a lot of brains.
Target Audience and Engagement Invitation
00:00:57
Speaker
Welcome to The Slut Next Door. Today's episode is going to be especially helpful for submissive men who crave dom interaction online.
00:01:09
Speaker
I'm sharing what actually catches my attention, what turns me on, and what quietly turns me off. But a little disclaimer before we dive in, this episode is written from my perspective.
00:01:23
Speaker
Every dom has her own preferences, her own style, her own rules. So don't take this as universal truth. But if you ever wanted to serve someone like me, this will give you an edge.
00:01:39
Speaker
And if you enjoy this kind of content, don't forget to like, subscribe, and comment below. I'd love to hear from you, whether you're a loyal listener or lurking in silence for now.
00:01:54
Speaker
And
Qualities of Attractive Submission
00:01:55
Speaker
if you're ready to go deeper with my work, you'll find a link in the description for my web website, missbeatrix.com, where you can explore my hypnosis files, blog posts, custom content, and more.
00:02:11
Speaker
So let's talk about what really makes a Dom purr and what makes her disappear. So if you want to catch my attention or the attention of a Dom, you need to bring the right kind of energy.
00:02:31
Speaker
not loud, not frantic, although sometimes that is kind of cute, but not ever, don't ever say this,
00:02:42
Speaker
please use me, I'll do anything. And the first message, that's not a good introduction. The kind of submission that actually stands out, it's confident.
00:02:55
Speaker
It's grounded. it says, I know who I am when I kneel to you. There absolutely is, in my opinion, this delicious balance between vulnerability and strength that I love in a submissive man.
00:03:16
Speaker
You're soft for me, but not spineless. You listen deeply, but you're not lifeless.
Importance of Communication in Kink
00:03:27
Speaker
You're eager to please but not aimless.
00:03:31
Speaker
That's the energy i crave. You don't need to know everything. In fact, I actually prefer when you don't because, know, as a mommy dom, I love being a guiding, nurturing energy to you. And also, i think curiosity is sexy.
00:03:53
Speaker
Willingness to learn from me, even sexier. Like, i want a submissive man who comes to me openly, who says something like, guide me, shape me.
00:04:10
Speaker
Train me, not with arrogance, but with intention. And communication,
Understanding True Devotion
00:04:19
Speaker
like real, clear communication is so underrated in the online kink world.
00:04:28
Speaker
It's not just about obeying, say like a script, saying the things that you think should be said. It's about being able to express what you want, what, like where your limits are, what excites you and what you're working on.
00:04:49
Speaker
When a submissive man communicates clearly, it tells me he's serious, that he's just not here to get off. He's here to also grow.
00:05:02
Speaker
and then devotion. Yes, devotion. So sweet. And devotion isn't just tipping or saying, yes, mistress, on command.
00:05:15
Speaker
Devotion can be in the little things, the way you listen, the way you remember my words, the way you come back again and again and drop a little deeper every time.
00:05:31
Speaker
That's the energy that turns me on. The energy that makes me want to take my time with you to mold you, to break you down and rebuild you into something even more obedient, more soft, more mine.
00:05:50
Speaker
And if you don't have that energy yet, that's okay. That's what training is for. Because no matter how submissive you think you are,
00:06:03
Speaker
If your approach is all wrong, we do feel it instantly as doms.
Common Turn-offs in Submission
00:06:10
Speaker
And trust me, we notice. So here's some turn offs, okay?
00:06:16
Speaker
Listen closely. So turn off number one are lazy DMs. Okay, so messages like,
00:06:29
Speaker
hey, mistress, use me, please, or I'll do anything for you. you know, and that's all they say. i mean, those are great those are great terms to hear. But if I've never heard from you before, i it doesn't really mean much to me.
00:06:49
Speaker
They're not special. they're They're not submissive. They're actually kind of spammy. And it doesn't show me devotion. It just shows me you're fishing probably sending that same line to 10 other doms at once.
00:07:08
Speaker
I also, for me personally, I do not like small talk. I cannot stand when people send me a message and I've never spoken to you before and you say, hey, how are you? And that's all you say.
00:07:25
Speaker
I'm not here to tell you about how my day is going. I'm here to fuck your minds and mold you into something that I want.
00:07:37
Speaker
So turn off number two. Here's another turn off. Entitlement disguised submission. So for example, someone asking something like this.
00:07:54
Speaker
So what do I get if I send a tribute? That is going to make probably most doms roll their eyes back so far because submission isn't a transaction, at least in my world.
00:08:14
Speaker
If you're only giving to get, you're not submitting. you're You're shopping. And doms, I think, are real dom.
00:08:26
Speaker
we're We're not on sale. it's It's a blessing that you come across as. It's It is a gift that you should be so thankful you are in the presence of me.
00:08:44
Speaker
Turn off number three, topping from the bottom. So telling me how like exactly how to dominate you, like scripting out your fantasy before i may even get a word in or giving me a checklist of your kinks and the first message.
00:09:08
Speaker
That's not submitting, that's directing and it's not cute, especially if you try to mask it as being helpful. That seems like a very mansplaining thing to do.
00:09:19
Speaker
like You're assuming that I'm stupid, that you need to give me your blueprint. Now, if you have ever joined my loyal fans, I do ask you to name your preferred kings.
00:09:32
Speaker
Now, I asked you... to give me that. So that doesn't count. I wanted that because that helps me classify. That tells me immediately how I'm going to talk to you.
00:09:48
Speaker
That tells me who you are. So that doesn't count if you were thinking that, if you've ever been to my loyal fans and subscribed. But let's talk about turn off number four.
00:10:01
Speaker
Lack of self-awareness. So I don't expect you to be perfect, but if you're messaging me while ignoring basic etiquette, like addressing me respectfully, and okay, let me stop there because I always get this question. What should I call you?
00:10:23
Speaker
What do you prefer? The whole honorifics thing. Now, I love goddess, goddess mommy. ah even love mommy.
00:10:35
Speaker
I like mistress, mommy mistress. These are all my preferences. And when you use them like over and over and over again, it loses it loses its effect for me. And what I mean by every time...
00:10:56
Speaker
You end a sentence, you end it with goddess. I always, and this is just a personal thing for me, because like I said at the beginning, some doms may be different, but I'll throw in my personal thing.
00:11:13
Speaker
I like for honorifics to be purposeful. So like I said, not at the end of every sentence you give, especially...
00:11:26
Speaker
Use it when you are responding to a command or a But, you know, going back to this lack of self-awareness, speak respectfully to a dom because we are powerful women. We are bringing our dom energy and giving it to you.
00:11:52
Speaker
And you should be thankful and respectful towards that. So the other thing to this, the lack of so self-awareness, especially for me, i you know, I don't know if other doms are this way.
00:12:06
Speaker
Use punctuation in proper English. Now, I have a lot of fans that are English as their second language. So, you know, if that's you, that's don't don't stress about that. I can tell...
00:12:21
Speaker
When I do have someone where English is their second language and they're not very comfortable with it, that's totally fine. But... You know, speak clearly with purpose.
00:12:36
Speaker
Again, it's having that lack of self-awareness that is just such a turnoff. And then there's times where I can tell you haven't read a post or read what I said before asking questions. And that tells me you're not actually present. You're not even trying.
00:12:55
Speaker
And the biggest turnoff of all is not respecting my time. My time is so valuable. My attention is valuable.
00:13:08
Speaker
And if you're approaching me like I owe you something just for being horny, it's a no.
Genuine Engagement and Respect
00:13:17
Speaker
I create I give and I guide, but not just for anyone.
00:13:24
Speaker
You have to earn your place. And remember, domination isn't just a service. It's a choice.
00:13:36
Speaker
And it's one that I make. And if I don't feel that your submission is thoughtful, respectful, or sincere, i won't waste a second on you. Now, that might sting a little bit, and that's okay. A little sting can be good for that fragile male ego.
00:13:57
Speaker
So now that you know what not to do, let's talk about what does get my attention. Because yes, I do notice things.
00:14:10
Speaker
I see who lingers, who listens, who follows instructions, who who offers without expectation, and it matters. So one of the first things that you can do to gain the attention from me as a dom and probably with other doms is engage with my content genuinely.
00:14:36
Speaker
So if you love my audios, tell me what they do to you. Leave a comment, share your thoughts, like, repost review.
00:14:49
Speaker
These aren't just vanity metrics. They show me you're paying attention, that you're present, that you're soaking me in not just passively consuming and vanishing into the shadows.
00:15:04
Speaker
Now, that is to say, i know I know for a fact that I have a lot of people that passively consume um or just listen and never interact with me. And that's totally fine.
00:15:18
Speaker
I love and adore you. This is towards others that are wanting the attention from a from adam dom. Yeah. But second thing that you can do to gain attention is showing your devotion through action.
00:15:40
Speaker
This will probably vary widely from other doms because if you know me, I'm not a fin dom. meaning a financial domination. It's just not naturally in me.
00:15:55
Speaker
If you approach me with some financial dom, you know, needs and ones, I'm fine doing that. But doing it without being prompted really icks me out and it just doesn't fit within my vibe.
00:16:12
Speaker
So when I say this, keep in mind that it might just be me. um And it might not be the norm, but tips and tributes aren't mandatory for me ever.
00:16:27
Speaker
ah But they do make a difference, especially when they come unprompted. Like a little thank you in form of a tip or a surprise wish list gift tells me my work had an impact.
00:16:43
Speaker
But in the same hand, when a submissive man, a fan of my content messages me a very thoughtful and a very genuine and just one that i is so soaked in devotion and appreciation,
00:17:03
Speaker
That is just as good as a tip, if not better. So keep that in mind. But these things that makes me feel appreciated as both a dom and a creator.
00:17:18
Speaker
And no, you don't have to be what they call a pay pig to do this. and It's not about the amount. It's about the intention. Okay.
00:17:30
Speaker
Okay. Third way to gain my attention as a dom is to follow instructions. So it's very simple. When I say, use this form, send your message here, wait for a response.
00:17:45
Speaker
Those aren't optional things. It's part of that dynamic. If you can't follow the simplest of directions, how can I trust you to obey when it really actually matters?
00:17:58
Speaker
Now, I will be vulnerable and say that several times in my experience, I might forget something unintentionally. so sending, you know, a message that says, hey, haven't heard from you and you said x y z That's totally fine because I am not perfect. No one's perfect.
00:18:22
Speaker
um So that's totally fine. But follow basic instructions if they are given to you. Now, the fourth tip to pleasing me as a dom other doms, communicate your submission clearly and respectfully.
00:18:43
Speaker
So if you're reaching out to a dom, introduce yourself. Tell me what drew you in. Tell me how my content made you feel.
00:18:54
Speaker
Don't just bark out your kink wishlist. Show me you know who I am not just what you want.
00:19:06
Speaker
and final tip, be consistent. One respectful message is lovely, but seeing a pattern of devotion, even better.
00:19:20
Speaker
Like I love when someone checks in shares progress, or simply lets me know that a file left them weak and aching. That kind of vulnerability makes me want to give more and more.
00:19:35
Speaker
Like I can think of particular usernames and my loyal fans right now where we haven't like really had much interaction, but what they have done consistently And it may take, I don't hear from them for a month, but when a file particularly moves them, they reach out and they just simply tell me that.
00:19:57
Speaker
And I'm going to tell you, there are some of my favorite messages to receive because especially for me as I do qualify as a dom.
00:20:09
Speaker
I am a content creator though. Like that is the beefiest part of who I am. So when I'm putting out content that is so complex and I've spent hours upon hours with it and I get to hear how it affected you, that you were going to gain my attention immediately consistently interacting with my art, the art that I put out.
00:20:43
Speaker
But, you know, since we're talking about gaining the attention of an online dom, you really have to take into account the online and in real life, like outside of online, your words, actions, and presence are all you
Beatrix's Personal Reflections and Business Insights
00:21:03
Speaker
have. So you have to use them well, be intentional, be thoughtful, be respectful.
00:21:10
Speaker
If you want to serve a dom, like truly serve her, then show up with energy that makes her want to keep you around. And if you're doing it right, I promise she will notice.
00:21:26
Speaker
So now that you know what to do and what to never do, let me let you in on something even more personal. So I want to share what i secretly love.
00:21:41
Speaker
And I know I've talked about it a little bit through this episode, but I really want to dig into that and talk about the things that make me pause, things that make me smile and literally say goodbye.
00:21:57
Speaker
Because for me, this isn't just about dominance. It's also about connection. And i'm going to speak pretty clearly here.
00:22:09
Speaker
Yes, i I make art. I'm a content creator. And those things are my love and my joy.
00:22:20
Speaker
But at the same time, this is also my my business. you know So with those very emotional and creative things,
00:22:33
Speaker
creative things that i put a lot of value in, i also have a lot of business decisions to make.
00:22:43
Speaker
So connection is one of the... So there's a lot of things that are tied to connection. I'll first tell you the important part.
00:22:57
Speaker
How about that? We'll start with that. We'll talk about the important part of connection. So I'm a hypnodom. Okay. And I pour, I literally pour so much of myself into my content.
00:23:10
Speaker
Like every whisper, every command, every layered file designed to slip under your skin is all me. So when a submissive tells me how a file is changing them, that is everything.
00:23:29
Speaker
I don't just want to hear that you came, although I do love hearing that. But I also want to know what's happening in your mind. What thoughts linger?
00:23:41
Speaker
What behaviors are shifting? What part of you I've already claimed without you realizing it? Now, on the other hand, when it comes to that connection,
00:23:58
Speaker
and this is just speaking business-wise, and you probably don't want to hear this, but I'm going to say it in case another creator happens to be listening to this. You know, when you when you put effort into connection,
00:24:16
Speaker
Men, women are more likely to come back to you. They are more likely to support you if you allow them to be seen, if you are genuine in your connection with them, if you're genuine in your content.
00:24:36
Speaker
that's just my two cents. That's the CEO in me because I am a CEO. i I have a business.
00:24:48
Speaker
I love my business. And that's that's why I care so deeply about kink, about my work, about this podcast. um Because I have a lot of heart in this.
00:25:05
Speaker
Yes, there there are business sides to it and decisions that I have to make that aren't so fun to make, you know, but...
00:25:16
Speaker
the heart is still there. And i know that my fans can hear that in my content. They can hear that. Yes, they understand that I make money, but they also understand that this is me.
00:25:32
Speaker
that you know And it's a really funny thing that I've never been able to truly put into words all these years of doing online sex work.
00:25:44
Speaker
I, it's hard for me to be completely fake. Like,
00:25:52
Speaker
I know that I do role plays and I do, I do put on an acting hat when I'm creating content. Of course I do. But I set myself up to where I do things that I love, like the content that I make.
00:26:08
Speaker
I'm literally into it and turned on by it. I'm, I'm very curious about it. I stay curious about it. I stay, i stay in it.
00:26:20
Speaker
And Anyway, I'm rambling. I forgot where I was going with that. But the the I know I was talking about connection. And connection is just, it's so valuable.
00:26:36
Speaker
You know, like it sounds really lonely to me if I were to create this content, right? I pour... everything into it and I can see people are listening I can see the view counts but I don't hear from him anyone about it that's a that would be really weird for me and something I don't prefer um I like when I hear from others how they felt about a file, how how it affected them, how much they enjoyed it.
00:27:11
Speaker
Even i love to hear, you know, I like this file, but I didn't like this about it. I want to hear that because I'm constantly trying to be better and better in my content.
00:27:24
Speaker
You know, I don't want to keep doing something that doesn't work. So progress reports from my submissive men are also something that are just pure gold to me because not not just because they are showing me you're listening, but because they prove you are and evolving, that I'm inside your head in a lasting way.
00:27:54
Speaker
And when someone, this is one of my favorites, when someone who's been quietly following for weeks, even months, And then they finally reach out.
00:28:07
Speaker
Oh, I love it. I love when someone joins my loyal fans and they're like, hey, I've been listening to your free content. I've been, you know, relying on your free content for months. And just finally, i had to subscribe.
00:28:22
Speaker
I love it because in my mind, it was always inevitable that you would. And it's just so sweet. I feel like I've conquered you.
00:28:34
Speaker
you know, my my web upset of seduction worked and I love it. um Or when someone admits I've been a and been affecting them more than they ever expected,
00:28:48
Speaker
intoxicating. Like I just love that moment where i can almost feel the soft and quiet unraveling that's been happening inside of you.
00:29:02
Speaker
Love it. um Another thing that I notice a lot are manners. um You know, it's it's very simple, but I do love it. i
00:29:15
Speaker
I say this a lot. I think have this theory that... Most people that consume hypno, erotic hypnosis are like tend to be on the intellectual side.
00:29:32
Speaker
And so i just, I just love, i love how smart and intelligent my submissives are. They're always so curious and introspective. And that's something I love. And, and the manners, just the manners are so, so good.
00:29:51
Speaker
Ones that treat my time and energy like something valuable, not something they're entitled to. That is so gross. That is so gross when someone starts getting impatient with me because what you're doing is you're not you're not being respectful of my time and you're not being smart enough to realize that like Like if you are in in my world, like if you know, if you pay attention to how much content I push out and if you use your brain, you understand how fucking hard I work.
00:30:34
Speaker
And for when people are impatient with a custom or impatient with me messaging messaging them back, I'm immediately turned off.
Approaching Submission with Intention
00:30:47
Speaker
ah It makes me actually angry. um So, you know, most of my most of my loyal fan base are very respectful of of my time and they understand that, you know, i sometimes I don't answer right away and it's not because i don't want to or I'm ignoring you or avoiding you.
00:31:13
Speaker
It's simply because i'm knees deep in writing a script or editing or writing. i' Not writing. Or recording.
00:31:23
Speaker
And those things involve... a lot of attention where I can't multitask. So, um, but yeah, I, you know like I mentioned before, i'm definitely not a Fendom, but when someone surprises me with a tip or a little wishlist gift, it's so, it touches me so deeply.
00:31:49
Speaker
and you know, it's never because I demand it. I'm never like, you must send to me, you know, it, it's, When they send on their own accord, it shows thoughtfulness.
00:32:03
Speaker
It says, i see the time, skill, the seduction you've given me, and I want to give something back. That kind of appreciation just is so meaningful to me.
00:32:20
Speaker
And I'll say it again.
00:32:24
Speaker
a a message... a love letter, if you will, just as valuable as it's tip because I know, i know that not everyone has the money to, to, um, you know, give extra like that. So please don't ever feel, don't ever, ever feel obligated to buy from my wishlist because that makes me feel gross.
00:32:50
Speaker
I'm just saying those little actions are so fucking sweet to me. but But lastly is something i really, really value is when a submissive comes to me, not just as a fan, but as a willing subject, like just super open and receptive, eager to go deeper, not looking for instant gratification.
00:33:17
Speaker
I'm not a an OnlyFans model showing my tits and ass for you to jerk off to and be done with. I'm a dom that is really trying to mind fuck you over and over and over again.
00:33:36
Speaker
So, you know, just coming to me for, because you're horny, like I get that you do come to my page or press play on my file when you are horny, but, You know, I'm more interested in that long term kind of change and mind fucking.
Final Advice on Gaining a Dom's Attention
00:33:57
Speaker
So if you're wondering how to catch my attention. Now you know. You've had a look inside my mind a little bit, inside my preferences, inside what truly makes us a missive standout in this digital kind of world.
00:34:19
Speaker
And if you are wanting to be noticed by a Dawn like me, remember it always starts with presence, intention, respect.
00:34:32
Speaker
Your submission isn't proven and how desperate you are. It's in how you show So don't forget if you're new to my world and you are curious on how to actually get my attention, if you're feeling brave enough for that, go to my website, missbeatrix.com, and you will find ways to dive deeper into my world there.
00:35:00
Speaker
They're all waiting for the right mind slip into. So I've told you what prefer, what i want.
00:35:12
Speaker
And now it's your move.
Conclusion and Invitation to Explore More
00:35:17
Speaker
And that's a wrap for this episode of The Slut Next Door, where we dive deep into the raw, unapologetic truths of human desire.
00:35:29
Speaker
If you loved what you heard today, make sure to subscribe and turn on notifications so you never miss a juicy moment. Want to connect with me outside the podcast?
00:35:44
Speaker
Click the link in my bio where you can find lots of juicy content and options. and Until next time, I'm Beatrix Vail, your Slut Next Door, and I'll see you in the next episode.