Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
The Quiet Power of Making Someone Feel Seen
0 Playsin 19 hours
In four years, only two creators ever responded to him like a person. This episode started with that number.
We're talking about why subs hide their desires, what they're actually afraid of, and what changes when someone finally responds with genuine care. Whether you're a fan, a creator, or just someone who has ever been afraid to say what you want, this one is for you.
Slut Next Door is a podcast about human desire, kink, and everything in between.
For more of Beatrix's work, visit here
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to 'The Slut Next Door'
00:00:07
Speaker
Welcome to the Slut Next Door podcast, where we dive deep into desire, unravel kinks and fetishes, and explore the deliciously naughty side of self-discovery.
00:00:25
Speaker
I'm Beatrix Vale, an erotic audio creator, and your guide to all things kinky and curious.
The Value of Genuine Fan Interaction
00:00:36
Speaker
So let's begin.
00:00:41
Speaker
So I got a message recently that I haven't been able to stop thinking about. A man reached out to me after buying some clips and he wasn't asking for anything.
00:00:56
Speaker
He wasn't pitching himself or making demands. He just wanted to share something. And he said that messaging a dom, even just to say, I'm enjoying your work or this thing resonated with me, feels like standing on shaky ground.
00:01:16
Speaker
That most of the time, what comes back is silence or a request for a tribute or an upsell to a custom. And that what subs fear most isn't being ignored.
00:01:32
Speaker
It's that the connection they feel, the thing that makes the content mean something to them, will get broken. And then he asked me something.
00:01:43
Speaker
He said, why do you think they hide? He also told me that in four years, I am the second Dom to ever respond to him like a human being.
00:01:58
Speaker
The second in four years. And I've been sitting with that number ever since. And that's what this episode is about.
Fan Influence and Empowerment
00:02:09
Speaker
So before I truly get into this topic, I'm going to talk about what's currently making me feel like a goddess. This is a little segment that I've started including in every podcast episode.
00:02:24
Speaker
So we're going to talk about what's feeding my soul because i am absolutely glowing and you deserve to know why I've been getting messages like that's pretty typical and particularly ones that have stood out recently and are making me feel like a goddess are from people who've been working with my hypnophiles and I want to share some of what's coming back to me because honestly
00:02:58
Speaker
This is what the whole thing is for. um For example, I recently received like a report or a se success story of a man that pre-jacked hands-free people more than once and one file and that is so delicious. um I believe that that is his body answering to something way deeper than his ego And it's a result of his submission in, you know, the little dynamic that he holds for the both of us through my files.
00:03:43
Speaker
Another thing I've heard recently is that my voice is starting to appear as their internal monologue.
Impact of Beatrix's Voice
00:03:52
Speaker
So, you know, when we have that voice that speaks to us inside, that's, you know, just our own thoughts.
00:04:00
Speaker
it popped up as my voice, my cadence, my phrasing. And, you know, and that is intense. And that's entirely the point.
00:04:14
Speaker
And incredibly hot that I have slithered so deeply that I am with i am within their internal thoughts. So sexy.
00:04:27
Speaker
Now, this next one, it it made me chuckle, but then absolutely made me feel so powerful at the same time. So someone recently reported...
00:04:44
Speaker
that they had a loss of control moment in their bladder and while smiling. This is the part that I love the most that but because I have a file that's wet yourself for me.
00:05:00
Speaker
um I'm assuming that's what the file was. It could have been another one. But this particular person was so deep in their experience that their body just let go and they were happy about it.
00:05:14
Speaker
Oh my God. i i love it. And here's the thing, the most important thing is I'm not in the room with these people, right?
00:05:25
Speaker
I'm just a voice and
Respect and Customer Care in Content Creation
00:05:27
Speaker
a file. And still the submission shows up in their body, either with involuntary responses or And their minds and gratitude, smiling, that is power.
00:05:45
Speaker
That is craft. And it makes me feel like exactly what i am a goddess. So I'm going to stop talking about this before I get too pleased with myself.
00:06:01
Speaker
um Probably too late for that, but let's jump into the topic of this episode. And named this the quiet power of making someone feel seen.
00:06:19
Speaker
So if I'm going back to this particular example that I led the episode with, he told me, and this is where it like really hit me, is that he wasn't particularly like he wasn't fearful of rejection.
00:06:39
Speaker
He was fearful that if I speak to this woman that, and let me go ahead and say, um this gentleman buys clips on I went clips, which is mostly, it's very femdom there. it's when There's a lot of femdom.
00:06:59
Speaker
And so he's consuming the content and probably going to very special deep places within the content and then starts to feel um a little fear that if I reach out to this woman that I feel like I had this amazing connection with through her content, that that connection isn't real.
00:07:24
Speaker
you know, and lives just in his head. And i think what I saw is like his submission, his experience within their content means something to him.
00:07:43
Speaker
so Then he's in this space where I'm going to reach out because they have messaging within the site. I'm going to reach out and I'm going to message these artists that are making these wonderful files. Just simply tell them I'm enjoying. And then what happens is they come and respond with, you know, give me money, order a custom, or return with silence.
00:08:11
Speaker
And listen, I get it. Um, There are so many messages that I can receive on any day. And, you know, that i start my podcast. I mean, today I started my podcast with things that are making me feel like a goddess. And they are messages that I have received from people listening to my files. And Like I get it um as a content creator and especially in this space of ah porn or kink, whatever.
Care in Dominant-Submissive Dynamics
00:08:50
Speaker
um messaging Messaging can get really funky and weird. Luckily, i don't come across too many that are trying to push the line they're there though and I can recognize it but here's my thing if you have purchased my files and you want to message me I'm going to read your message because like that's my philosophy with it like if you took the chance on me and you handed me money for the content that I created
00:09:28
Speaker
you know And I hate to put it in in these terms, but for the sake of you know making this make sense, you become my customer. And let's say that I have a shop where, i don't know, i do nails. or i cut hair.
00:09:46
Speaker
If I provide you a service or you buy something from my shop, I'm going, it would be important to me to, you know, continue giving a really nice customer service experience so that you come back, that you feel comfortable in my shop.
00:10:06
Speaker
And I see, this kind of world the same way even though you know i think there's a lot of misconceptions about porn and about the spaces where you do you know offer kind of online sex work I think there are feelings of oh well fuck you like I'm you know I'm amazing you don't get to speak to me like
00:10:38
Speaker
there's still another person on the other side And they are still essentially someone that is taking a chance on you, someone that is ah handing over money for whether it's a service or your content. um So I do think that they deserve to be seen. And I'm not saying either that because you bought one clip for me, we're going to sit there and chat away. And I'll get into what, how like how this whole thing unfolded after this. but
00:11:12
Speaker
You know, to answer his question, why do they hide? And he's asking, why do the doms hide? Why do they hide behind a sales pitch? Why do they not answer the message?
00:11:30
Speaker
And I told him, I think it's because they aren't leading with a sense of care, a sense of humanity. And even though we are in the femdom setting,
00:11:46
Speaker
um you can still be a goddess, a mistress, whomever. and still lead from that place of of care and allow someone to be seen, especially if they're spending some money with you.
Misconceptions in Dom-Sub Interactions
00:12:02
Speaker
And, you know, there's a time and a place to be, to be like degrading and and bring humiliation. And I'll go ahead and say that this particular gentleman is very much into some degrading themes and topics, but his preferences, you know, his preference to be humiliated and degraded, that is his kink preference.
00:12:32
Speaker
That is not his preference for how he deserves to be treated as a human being. And I think that that is a reason he feels like they're hiding. um i also think that maybe perhaps they're not, and this is going to sound like really bitchy of me, but it's truth. um I don't think they are true goddesses or true ah doms because if you are a true dom and you have some of that powerful feminine energy in you then you are going to lead from a place of humanity and care and you know
00:13:17
Speaker
I just think a lot of online sex workers get caught up in and the whole idea that I don't talk to men for free.
00:13:27
Speaker
You know, I don't do this for free. Well...
00:13:35
Speaker
i don't I don't particularly agree. And there is like ah ah a dance to it. There is a dance to it because of course, like I'm not going to sit there a message and chat with someone because I don't have, I just literally don't have that kind of time. And I don't have that kind of need or want.
00:13:57
Speaker
You know, I'm in, I'm absolutely in my like content creation era. Like I, that is my baby. So for me to,
00:14:09
Speaker
yeah, if someone likes my content and they like me as a person, i wish I could sit there and chat with you, but but I can't, you know, or even if you've bought like all this content for me, I'm not going to sit there and like, we're not going to chat like we're BFFs because I don't have that kind of time.
00:14:31
Speaker
And ah i mean, like, why would you do that? But if you have ah bought clips for me, if you've bought customs for me and you do message me to tell me something or to give me feedback on a file or tell me how great it is, i am going to respond because that to me is just good business. And for me, I love to be, i love to be worshiped. I love for people to tell me how awesome I am. So of course, I'm going to be thankful and grateful.
00:15:06
Speaker
And I also believe that the more grateful you are, the more things come to you. So um yeah, I just, I think i think that they they're hiding behind
00:15:21
Speaker
The wrong business mindset. I think that they're hiding behind... m they Like I said, maybe they're not even true DOMs. It's true performative action. So you know getting one-on-one, they don't know how to do that because they're not truly a DOM.
00:15:46
Speaker
I think that... they forget that even a fin sub, and when I say that, even if there's a man that's into financial domination, there's still, there's still a certain process that you have to take. You know, you don't,
00:16:07
Speaker
I'm sure it works for some people, but ah you don't just say like, give me money, period. Like there's going to be some, you know, dynamic setting. There's going to be some rule set. ah So I think there's some misconceptions about how that even works because if this dude is reaching out to you, how do you even know he's into financial domination or not? And if you respond with a statement that falls within financial domination, what and he's not into it, then what, that makes no sense to me.
Balancing Business and Human Connection
00:16:46
Speaker
Um, so yeah, it's, it's interesting. And it's something that I really like to shine a light on because for one, it makes me sad.
00:16:58
Speaker
it makes me sad for people call that the empath in me. um You know, and his message just really stuck out to me because i feel like he really landed on something for me to see it from his perspective. He's not afraid of being rejected.
00:17:16
Speaker
He's afraid of losing the the power that they had over him in the clip because they don't respond in the same way in that message. um Now let's really dig into this situation because like how everything unfolded, okay? Because here's where it gets very, very interesting because what happened benefit like me and also benefited him of course.
00:17:50
Speaker
But what happened brought me a lot more things if I would have treated him like he was just simply a wallet. So if I'm going back to our conversation um He had initially sent just the sweetest message. um I actually thought it was really cool is that he discovered me on YouTube through this podcast about gooning and pornosexuality. So he got intrigued and went and looked at my my work and saw I was offering things. And what was really interesting too is that he had never been into audio porn and now is a fan. um So anyway, it was just a really cool initial message.
00:18:44
Speaker
And he was just thanking me. He was letting me know, hey this is where I found you, which i Thoroughly appreciated. I love knowing that my podcast is reaching where it needs to go um And he was calm complimenting me. it was a sweet message.
00:19:03
Speaker
He wasn't asking for anything. He wasn't even asking me to write back. He simply was giving me information and thanking me.
00:19:13
Speaker
And so what I did is I wrote back, I'm going to count them one, two, three, four, or five, five sentences. Okay. So it's not like I wrote back and, you know, i just said, yes, I know I'm awesome. Let's talk about how awesome I am. Let's you know, spend my time on this message. I just sent simply told him, you know, you're so welcome.
00:19:43
Speaker
Talked about audio, told him I was proud of him. and that was that. I mean, it was just a very simple interaction.
00:19:54
Speaker
And that's when he came back and he said, i'm going to read this. Um,
00:20:02
Speaker
Well, also, I forgot to mention, he did ask me why do they hide. But, you know, who knows? He could have been like asking that like like as i'm as a ah question just to put out there. So I felt like responding to that.
00:20:16
Speaker
And I did. um But anyway, he said... Yeah, I think doms see money money, money, money, and assume every sub is a pay peg or ATM, but many subs aren't, and it kind of feels disconnected and stales quickly when demands are made.
00:20:34
Speaker
And then told me that I was the second dom on the site that he's had a connection with, and the last time was over four years ago.
00:20:45
Speaker
Four years. i mean, i I just still can't get over that. And so here's the here's the interesting part too. So guess what happened? After we had this very short back and forth, he then proceeds to purchase pretty much my whole clip store.
00:21:08
Speaker
Probably not the whole thing, but I'm telling you, i got the email, like I'll get notifications of when people buy things from that site. And i got this email that I can't even, there were so many, I couldn't count them.
00:21:24
Speaker
So what happened? He saw power. He saw a woman. He saw ah goddess. And guess what he did?
00:21:35
Speaker
He spent an insane amount of money, which benefits me. I mean, that you know, I am providing content. I want people to buy my content. I like making money, right? Right.
00:21:49
Speaker
But I also like making, I like people to be seen. That's important to me. And again, i think it's the empath in me, and but it's also the businesswoman in me because There is a line or like a balance where you are running a business, but you're also staying human inside of it. And you can absolutely still be a fucking goddess and still stay human inside of that.
00:22:24
Speaker
And I've learned time and time again from my experience in this world is the more i allow people to be seen and I'm talking about men from from various sides, men that are into hardcore degradation. I'm telling you, the way I talk to some men would make many men cry, but that's what they want. you know I've gathered that that's what they want. There's files I have where those things are definitely hit. And then, you know, not only that, there's men that are a lot softer. um
00:23:05
Speaker
And they all, doesn't matter how extreme your kink runs, I see in all of them, they want to be seen.
00:23:17
Speaker
They, and that's a very human emotion. We all want to be seen.
Power of Making Fans Feel Valued
00:23:21
Speaker
We all want to be recognized. um So yeah, it makes me sad that there are, you know, it's, it's the reality that there are There are men out there that have spent money on a content creator.
00:23:40
Speaker
you know so they've shown they're a serious customer, if you will. And the way they're responded to is in, give me more money.
00:23:51
Speaker
And that i I understand that's a kink. I totally understand that. But, you know, that's why i don't I don't do financial domination like for a crowd. For me, financial domination, I'm okay to do it if a person has told me this is what I'm into this is what I want you to give me, you know.
00:24:17
Speaker
Why am I going to that for group of people that... um for a group of people that are aren't into it. you know and and Plus, I just think it's a little ethical too because I totally recognize that there's a lot of men out there that would do a lot. If I so if i said it, they'd do it.
00:24:38
Speaker
And so i take that I take that power very seriously. So I would never use that power to demand money from someone who that wasn't a kink for them.
00:24:53
Speaker
So you know that's where I think his situation just went went very wrong with the other Doms is them assuming that that's how that that's a kink he wants to be in.
00:25:08
Speaker
And i would just I would love for more online doms that are doing content creation, like I wish I could just scream this from the rooftops of this situation. A man complimented my work.
00:25:24
Speaker
He had proven to me that he's a serious customer by by first buying a couple files, then reached out and gave just a sweet message. I gave a short message. So it's not like I...
00:25:39
Speaker
I wrote five sentences. so what that maybe took me one minute out of my day to type those out, to to give thanks for someone for, one, being a customer and thanks for you know giving such a sweet message. um And then what happens?
00:25:57
Speaker
that The man spends three digits worth of money in my clip store because I allowed him to be seen.
00:26:09
Speaker
the care was not unbusinesslike. What happened actually is the most effective thing i think that could have happened in that situation. And I wasn't even like i wasn't even doing it to be effective. i'm I'm doing it just as a as a good businesswoman. um But you know I think when you come from a place of humanity and true goddess energy,
00:26:39
Speaker
You will be so shocked what comes back to you. And, you know, I hate talking. i hate like brag.
00:26:50
Speaker
Let me not say it that way. So when I talk about good things that happen in my business, I feel like I'm bragging. And i know I don't have to say this. It's this weird thing I'm trying to work through. I'm very humble. um like probably too humble, but there are times in my experience where men well men will behave in a way that shocks the fuck out of me in the best way. um And I didn't even actively try. um I'm just going to tell you this story, okay? And again, i'm I'm saying this out loud for myself. I know I'm not bragging. But I think it just fits this topic so well.
00:27:41
Speaker
um I decided to share something I am passionate about with my listeners. I shared a video of this little tiny singing bowl that I have and use in my morning meditation. So it's just a video of me hitting the singing bowl, making it ring, And I just posted it. i was happy to post that. I love sharing myself with my listeners, my fans. And guess what happened?
00:28:14
Speaker
Within the same day, a kind, sweet soul um saw the video it for whatever reason. i mean, I could probably ah think of the reasons why, but the reason why doesn't matter. What he did as he's he reached out to me and said, hey, goddess, you would you like that set of singing bowls you have on your wi your wish list? So there's a site where I list up gifts you know that I would like to receive that if people want to buy gifts, they can.
00:28:51
Speaker
So he saw that video. He said, i I want to, for whatever reason, get these for her. I didn't, there was no, like when I post that video, I definitely was not fishing for that. I was sharing myself. I thought it was cool to share with my listeners.
00:29:14
Speaker
And he comes back with a gift. And that right there is true goddess energy. You know, you exude who you are authentically as a fucking goddess because, know,
00:29:31
Speaker
every Every woman has it, even men. We all have this this divine thing. I mean, some of us shine a little brighter. I'll say that. But but you know you exude your goddess energy and things come to you without even trying. i mean, I could sit here and tell you story after story, but I'm not because I'm going to feel like it's like brag episode, but it's I'm definitely not. I'm proving a point that when you lead from a place of humanity, your business will thrive.
00:30:05
Speaker
I don't ever, ever have to beg for money. I don't ever have to go out there and, you know, do things where I'm begging for money, ah like ever, because, and I don't think that is sexy at all. Who who would want that? It's important to me that I remain a luxury because I am a luxury. I am a goddess.
Quiet Strength in Business Success
00:30:30
Speaker
And so you know, this story, what happened just really, it really struck me. It really hit me. And I thought, you know what, this is a perfect, a perfect podcast episode.
00:30:43
Speaker
You know, for one, i hope that you, it resonates with you with this man's story. Because sadly, if you are a consumer of femdom content, you've probably experienced similar things to where you want to message someone that you just look up to and you love their work and what comes back is, you know, a demand for money and that has to really suck.
00:31:11
Speaker
That has to really suck. um That would really piss me off in in your shoes. But I think another like layer, like a very much deeper layer to this is, know, it's really asking, what do we what do we owe each other?
00:31:29
Speaker
and spaces built around desire, sex, arousal, and power, you know, all the power dynamic dynamic thing. um the And I talk about this a lot on the on this podcast. I find the creator and fan relationship to be so unique.
00:31:55
Speaker
um And, you know, especially when the power dynamics are involved, there becomes this weird parasocial kind of relationship that exists. is intimate.
00:32:09
Speaker
It's like super intimate and super vulnerable. And that isn't lost on me at all because there is something that's being offered to me that is very precious. And it to me runs so much more deeper than a content transaction.
00:32:33
Speaker
And again, don't get me wrong. i am i am a business woman. i am a badass I love succeeding.
00:32:45
Speaker
But at the same hand, also... like i also I react from a very human place, even though I know that I am oh fucking goddess. I still come from a place of care and humanity.
00:33:03
Speaker
And along with that, along with the care and humanity. I'm also a good businesswoman because if you are a good businesswoman, you know that your customers mean everything. i mean, we're nothing without you guys.
00:33:23
Speaker
We are nothing. And so if I have the opportunity to help you be seen, to show you my appreciation, I'm going to do it because I know I'm nothing without you. And as a businesswoman, i want you around for the long run.
00:33:41
Speaker
i also want you to feel amazing things. I want you to grow as a person. So there's just a lot of win, win, win win win when you run your business in a smart way, and a very human way, and a very respectful way.
00:34:00
Speaker
Now, you can press... One of my files called shame jerk and you're going to be like, she's not nice at all. But that's the point. That file is for when you want to hear me degrade you or the file called mommy's little loser.
00:34:19
Speaker
That file exists for you to hear me go in hard with degradation and humiliation. But when it comes outside of those files, you aren't going to get her because, i mean, we could be, we could talk about kink ethics, like you didn't consent to that.
00:34:40
Speaker
you know Outside of those files, i am a human being. you are a human being. And I'm sure that perhaps some creators might might listen to this and be like, well, I'm never talking any to anyone for free. I don't give one second away without a dollar exchange. Well, good luck is what I just have to say. Good luck in your business.
00:35:04
Speaker
It might work for you. But for me, what's very important to me is that I have a very strong um base of listeners and they always return back with so much more than I ever expected.
00:35:23
Speaker
um And I get to feel really good about what I'm doing as well. I lay my head down at night with a smile on my face and warmth in my heart. And that that really matters to me too.
00:35:35
Speaker
So I'll end all this saying that power,
00:35:43
Speaker
dom, a goddess, a mistress, whatever you want to call it, never has to be loud or rude or degrading to be powerful.
00:36:00
Speaker
Quiet power, I would argue, is the most powerful. I do not have to yell. i don't have to make men feel like a piece of shit unless they want to feel like that to run a successful business.
Episode Conclusion and Listener Invitation
00:36:18
Speaker
I truly believe that my business runs as successfully as it does because I work from that human place. So if you are listening to me for the first time, please go to the link in the episode description. You can find my link page where you can see all the places where I post. There's even a link for absolutely free content that you don't have to give me a ah dime for or a penny. Okay.
00:36:53
Speaker
But thank you so much for listening to me ramble on about something I feel so passionately about. Thank you. Until next time. And that's a wrap for this episode of The Slut Next Door, where we dive deep into the raw, unapologetic truths of human desire.
00:37:14
Speaker
If you loved what you heard today, make sure to subscribe and turn on notifications so you never miss a juicy moment. Want to connect with me outside the podcast?
00:37:29
Speaker
Click the link in my bio where you can find lots of juicy content and options. Until next time, I'm Beatrix Vale, your Slut Next Door.
00:37:44
Speaker
And I'll see you in the next episode.