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What My Dogs Taught Me About Devotion & Submission
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I have two dogs. Lucy, who I never trained to be apart from me. And Juno, who I built structure and autonomy into from day one. And watching them taught me everything I needed to know about the difference between dependency and devotion, and why the container matters in submission dynamics.
In this episode, I break down:
• The Lucy and Juno metaphor: what happens when there is no container
• How structure creates healthier, deeper devotion (not anxious attachment)
• The difference between submission and merger
• Why autonomy actually strengthens submission
• How to build a framework that serves both Domme and submissive
• What it means to be someone's choice instead of someone's only option
• The psychology of anxiety in unstructured dynamics
• How boundaries protect intimacy
• Why submission with agency is more powerful than dissolution
Perfect for: Dommes learning how to structure healthy dynamics, submissive men exploring what real devotion means, anyone interested in power exchange psychology, BDSM education, relationship dynamics, kink theory, and those new to submission looking for a different perspective.
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Transcript
Introduction to 'The Slut Next Door'
00:00:07
Speaker
Welcome to the Slut Next Door podcast, where we dive deep into desire, unravel kinks and fetishes, and explore the deliciously naughty side of self-discovery.
00:00:25
Speaker
I'm Beatrix Vale, an erotic audio creator, and your guide to all things kinky and curious. So let's begin.
Meet Lucy and Juno
00:00:42
Speaker
Okay, so I have to tell you about my dogs. And I know, i know that you come here to hear me talk about sexy things, kinky things, kinky things.
00:00:58
Speaker
You come here for the Dom content, not a nature documentary, but just stay with me, okay? Because I promise that this is going somewhere and when it gets there, it's going to make a lot of sense.
00:01:14
Speaker
So I have two dogs, Lucy and Juno. And if you haven't seen them, they are the cutest dogs in the whole world. I'm sure you could pull up my social media and find them.
00:01:30
Speaker
They are, let's see, Lucy is a Australian Shepherd and Corgi mix. And Juno is what they call a cow cowboy Corgi.
00:01:42
Speaker
She is a blue Heeler and Corgi mix. And they are the cutest things ever. but I have been watching them lately and something really clicked for me about submission and about devotion and about what happens when you do and do not give someone a container to live inside of.
00:02:12
Speaker
And i could not stop thinking about it until I really talked this out loud and brought it to this podcast.
00:02:24
Speaker
So here we are.
Dynamics with a Submissive Man
00:02:27
Speaker
I'm talking about my dogs on my podcast called The Slut Next Door. Gotta love it. Now, before I really dig into this topic and present this um comparison to you, I'm going to bring up my segment that's called What's Currently Making Me Feel Like a Goddess?
00:02:48
Speaker
And i have to bring up something that really, really resonated with me deep down into my core. So I do you have a submissive man that i work pretty closely with.
00:03:07
Speaker
You could say that we are in a dynamic. He is pushing all of his submissive nature towards me And it is so it is serving to us both.
00:03:20
Speaker
I mean, not just me, but I mean, I can speak from my perspective that he makes me feel like an absolutely um absolute goddess. But anyway, i I wanted to bring this to the table specifically.
00:03:35
Speaker
It had been here recently 101 days since he had decided to dedicate his submission to me, to give it over to me. And so the other day he had reached the 101 day mark and I had requested that he tell me specifically and a T chart, if you will,
00:04:07
Speaker
characteristics of him at day one compared to day 101 and it was pretty fucking significant you know they were all things that I knew they were all things that I could tell him were the difference but to see it laid out like that to see the changes i had instilled in him manifested, you know, and this beautiful um layout just made me feel like a goddess. It made me feel like a goddess because
00:04:53
Speaker
i have I have helped enhance his life. And that's not to say that his life was shitty before me. He has a pretty great life. I have just, with my goddess energy, my quiet power, my guidance, helped him improve in ways that were...
00:05:18
Speaker
just, they would blow your mind. And yes, he had a hand in the change. i mean, his life wouldn't have enhanced the way it has without his actions, but they also wouldn't have happened without me, without giving him this space to blossom and flourish and grow and change.
00:05:46
Speaker
And that's goddess energy. i mean, it just, ah it it it empowers me. and it is just one of the things that fuels me every day to keep showing up and to also be confident in myself that, yes, I am making a difference. And yes, I am. In that goddess era, yes, I am helping men and helping people, and it's just all good stuff.
Reflections on Devotion and Independence
00:06:19
Speaker
So with that said, let's jump into my topic here of what my dogs have taught me about devotion.
00:06:30
Speaker
So we're going to start first with Lucy. So Lucy was the first one in my home. She's been with me a couple years now.
00:06:44
Speaker
So from day one, of me owning her, I worked from home, you know, all this time. And she was always there, always with me.
00:06:58
Speaker
And I never created her. um I never really had to be away from her. Even when she was a puppy, i would just kind of put her in and my room and I would work. And if she was, you know, acting hyper, I just wouldn't work. um So she was just mine. i mean, constantly mine and, and.
00:07:26
Speaker
I adored that. i still i still do. i don't go anywhere in my home without Lucy right there with me. Lucy loves me and this intense like literal full body way that is almost honestly a little overwhelming sometimes. I mean, I love her love. I love her with all my heart.
00:07:56
Speaker
You know, if I shift in my chair, she's shifting. If I walk to the kitchen, she is behind me. If i close the bathroom door, she is on the other side waiting. Yeah. And she loves me hard.
00:08:15
Speaker
And that's so fulfilling. I mean, it really is. It's no issue with her at all. And she's so well trained. I mean, when you if you have a dog, you know, when you truly bond with them, they don't want to upset you.
00:08:31
Speaker
they'll do anything for you. and yeah, i do I do realize how hard she loves me and it's almost psychotic.
00:08:43
Speaker
And, Don't get me wrong, I say this with so much love. But looking back, I can see what happened, okay? Because I never gave her a container.
00:09:01
Speaker
And she filled the entire space of my home, right? I mean, she and i just became the same thing in her mind. You know, if Beatrix exists, I exist. You know, that sort of thinking, that's her thinking. You know, there was no There was no Lucy and Beatrix. There was just us merged together. i became her mom, her entire world.
00:09:36
Speaker
And you know now now when I'm not home, like if I go out and run an errand, whatever, she is so anxious.
00:09:48
Speaker
I will tell you, i have seen what she does when I'm not home. I've been sent a video and It's psychotic. I mean, she sits at the edge of the couch near the, you know, the one nearest to the front door and just looks at the door the whole time. It's like she doesn't know what to do with herself when I'm not around. And the love is absolutely real, right? I mean, it and then it's so sweet, but...
00:10:24
Speaker
that love has nowhere to land when I'm gone because she never learned how to hold it on her own. You know, I didn't crate train her. What i should have done is I should have, when I was working, I should have put her in another room and ah in a crate and then spent time with her afterwards. That's what I should have done.
00:10:49
Speaker
um But, you know, the the damage is done. It's okay. I have this psychotic dog that is near me right now loves me to death and that's fine. So let's contrast this with Juno.
00:11:05
Speaker
so I got Juno kind of recently. Let's see. She was, let me do the math here. I should know this offhand. December, January, February, April. She's about four or five months right now. So I got her um a few months ago.
00:11:25
Speaker
And i was smarter this time. So I have been crate training Juno. I built in time apart from the beginning.
00:11:40
Speaker
And I wish I could say that, oh, I did this because I learned my lesson and I'm a smart dog owner. Yeah. To be honest, like I had to do it this way because I had read it was very important for Lucy to have her own space away from from a new dog. i mean, look, look, even I am building my life around Lucy because she's so psychotic.
00:12:07
Speaker
I didn't realize that until I said that out loud. um But yeah, it just made sense to me that I could work and i wouldn't have to worry about um Juno. You know, when Juno and Lucy are together, there's lots of playing, there's lots of sounds. So i crate trained Juno and she's still being crate trained But the point is, is that I gave her a space that was hers.
00:12:40
Speaker
You know, i I'm giving her every day a rhythm that that is hers. I'm i'm giving Juno a sense of self.
00:12:52
Speaker
You know, that existed even when I'm not in the same room as her. And you know what I'm finding out is Juno, she loves me beautifully. I mean, she is so happy to see me. oh my God, it's so heartwarming. Like she comes to me and she's so warm and present. And when we're around each other, when she's not in a crate, I feel like she's very connected to me.
00:13:26
Speaker
and I feel that. And it's different than Lucy. she's not She's not ever really desperate. and she never acts in this like frantic way And I absolutely started noticing that she does not need me in the same consuming way that Lucy needs me.
00:13:51
Speaker
And so i kind of made this conclusion that She loves me from a place of security and not from a place of where Lucy's at, where, you know, when when mom's not around, it's like the world doesn't exist. um And that, that difference right there is what I want to talk about today.
00:14:24
Speaker
Because here recently, i just made this huge epiphany, like this big connection. And I'm looking at submissive men that interact with me in a whole different way because of my dogs.
Parallels Between Dogs and Human Relationships
00:14:43
Speaker
um Because here's the thing. I know that submissive men can be exactly this way.
00:14:54
Speaker
I've seen both versions. I've had submissives who had no container, like no framework,
00:15:06
Speaker
they The devotion that they have to give, there was no there was no shape giving given to it. So it's just this outpouring you know flood of devotion, which is wonderful, like Lucy and her love. It feels so great. But you know if there if there's no framework and there's this overflowing flood of devotion, they're going to fill up every inch of the available space.
00:15:38
Speaker
space And when I think about men that I've seen like this, I think about what that makes them behave like, what I experience from them.
00:15:53
Speaker
And I think that they need... The constant contact. They need the constant reassurance. um They need the presence to always be there just like Lucy.
00:16:10
Speaker
And yes, you know, the love and the devotion that they have is absolutely real. There's nothing wrong with that. nothing at all. It's actually not their fault.
00:16:22
Speaker
At the end of the day, i put that on my fault because I didn't give them the container to fill. i I just simply existed and they said, okay, well, here's the devotion. Let me let me just bukkake you with this it's this devotion. But, you know, when there's when there's no container, it can be very, very exhausting for both parties, you know, on my end and on their end. And it's not sustainable.
00:16:55
Speaker
it doesn't It doesn't serve anyone in that situation. So then I started doing something different.
00:17:07
Speaker
I started building the container first. Okay. And what I mean by this is this. So I am very clear, as clear as I can be.
00:17:22
Speaker
I tell submissive men what pleases me. i tell them what makes me happy. i give them the shape of what service looks like.
00:17:42
Speaker
in sort of like dynamic space, like with me. So then, the submissive man has a way to fill that container.
00:17:56
Speaker
And so as a submissive, you bring yourself to it and you fill it up as quickly, as slowly, as full as you want. And your devotion,
00:18:11
Speaker
you know, is poured into something that has edges, basically. I mean, it has boundaries, it has a shape, it has purpose, it has And, you know, here's what I started noticing is that when there is that container, the submission then becomes richer.
00:18:36
Speaker
Because then it becomes a choice. So that submissive man is choosing to fill that container that I chose myself. And then he is not dissolving into me and you know just giving, giving, giving, gimmick giving with with it not being captured at all. So I've learned, I've learned the hard way that in order for me to be a good Dom,
00:19:14
Speaker
you know And especially and in the environment that I'm in, which is all online, and there's lots of odd parasocial things, um and there's sometimes like very deep feelings. And I'm not talking about, oh my God, we're going to fall in love with each other. What I mean by that is very vulnerable feelings. very real emotion.
00:19:39
Speaker
um What I've learned is that I can be as clear as I can be about the things that I like, the things that make me happy.
00:19:52
Speaker
You know, you, hopefully when someone, when someone starts to ease into my world, say, listen to my content, they listen to my podcast, they read my blog, they see me, don't know, in my Discord server, they pay attention and they know exactly what kinds of things make me happy, what kind of behavior I'm going to notice. So then
00:20:27
Speaker
What i hope is that then they know exactly where to give that devotion, you know how to give it. But here is another layer of it that is super important though, and especially where the dogs come in.
00:20:45
Speaker
You know, I think there's this idea floating around that, especially for men who are newer to being submissive towards a woman, that real submission means giving everything up.
00:21:04
Speaker
You know, the more of yourself that you erase, the more devoted you are know, you know I'm to show up before Beatrix and she's gonna tell me exactly what to do, how to do it. And that's going to make me very happy to do those things.
00:21:25
Speaker
And I understand where those impulses come from, but I actually think it works the other way.
00:21:36
Speaker
So when I give you a container, I am preserving your autonomy. Because now every time that you show up for me, you know, in the framework of this woman is my goddess, my mistress, whatever, it is a genuine choice.
00:22:02
Speaker
It is not compulsion. It's not my like, oh my God, I love her voice. I love her work. I love her energy. oh I'm just going to like flood her with devotion. um Well, yeah, i get I get that and I love... It's adorable and I love it.
00:22:21
Speaker
it's not It's not sustainable for for either of us. Because if you just keep giving, giving, giving, giving giving with you know no purpose really or no... Yeah, you're choosing to give it, but there's no real like...
00:22:37
Speaker
independent choice it's just kind of having these feelings and puking them out because that's all you have to do but to kind of try to flesh this out to make it more relatable so like to give you a real example, if you have this need to submit to me, if you have this need to to serve better, to serve deeper, you know, and
00:23:13
Speaker
I come to you and I say, so you, I i am a workaholic. i look at my business as I am a CEO badass bitch. I have things that I do.
00:23:32
Speaker
in my real life as well, but I love when men submit to me as well. So here are the things that you can do.
00:23:43
Speaker
Here are the things that I like. Here are the things that make me know that you're a good boy and Also, know that when your life is enhanced through your devotion, when you know that I want you to be successful, not only in being my good boy, but I also want you to be successful in your own life,
00:24:17
Speaker
You know, so you see i'm I'm kind of pointing directions in a very vague way. I'm pointing directions and where that devotion can flood.
00:24:29
Speaker
i'm I'm creating a container for that devotion to live in. And to bring it full circle here You know, you could be like Lucy where i didn't really make boundaries with
The Meaning of Independent Choice
00:24:46
Speaker
her. i didn't create a container where Lucy existed and she felt confidence and you know, being alone, being by herself.
00:24:59
Speaker
So her love has no boundaries. and she loves mean, it's... desperately i mean like it's crazy. But then you've got Juno.
00:25:16
Speaker
Juno loves me freely because she has her own ground to stand on. Like right now she's in her crate probably doing something adorable, knowing that I'm going to be there very soon to let her outside and give her love And then when we go back inside, guess what happens? She goes in the and the crate because she knows that I'm going to bring her treats in the crate. And guess what Lucy's doing? Like she's right behind me through this whole time. Just like, oh my God, what are we doing now, mom? What are we doing now? Where are you going? What are we doing? I
00:26:00
Speaker
I started seeing my... i started seeing submission from men in the same way. I really did. Like I saw... Wait a minute.
00:26:12
Speaker
I gave Juno a container. i gave her the choice to pick me as her person. Lucy, i became her whole world.
00:26:27
Speaker
And while... I love both of them equally. and honestly, don't tell Lucy, but like there's something about Juno's love that it makes me feel...
00:26:41
Speaker
ah it ah It's more special. Don't tell Lucy, ok She's right there sleeping. I'm sure she's probably listening and pretending like she's sleeping, but just don't tell her that I do feel, and this is, I think this is when there was one night where i just felt Juno's love and I felt myself bonding with her. And that's when it occurred to me, um you know, it was probably reflecting like, why am I feeling this way about Juno? This, this feels different than Lucy.
00:27:15
Speaker
and that's when I saw it I'm like, oh, this is it. I mean, this is it. i gave I gave Juno space to be Juno, where I gave Lucy someone to obsess over. And ultimately, when it comes to a man wanting to devote his submission to me I want to be someone's choice.
00:27:45
Speaker
i I want a man to say, i choose to serve her. I choose her, as in me. I don't want it to be like, I'm going to obsess over serving you because I really don't understand what you want. So I'm just gonna give you everything and everything and everything until I burn myself out.
00:28:08
Speaker
yeah No, i i would rather have someone make that choice independently. Like this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to make the choice. going to have the autonomy to know how to serve this woman. I'm going to feel confident in serving her because she did give me this container fill. Okay.
00:28:35
Speaker
And here's where it gets fascinating for me. It looks different to different men. And I'm just so fascinated with it because I'm fascinated with the way people work. I'm very analytical and i love figuring out what their containers will be.
00:29:03
Speaker
And the big lesson here is don't be ah Lucy. Because i feel like Lucy lost herself. And you know whose fault that is?
00:29:16
Speaker
That's my fault. I didn't provide her a container to arrive without me. um i am finding that Juno is finding her special self.
00:29:31
Speaker
And then chooses me as her person over and over again. and that is the kind of devotion I'm interested and building with men.
00:29:44
Speaker
That's the kind of dynamic that's going to last and grow and actually mean something. So be a Juno.
00:29:56
Speaker
Don't be a Lucy. Although, okay, Lucy's the cutest. I will say like by looks, Lucy is the cutest one, but there's just something about Juno's love that it's pretty fucking special.
00:30:11
Speaker
But um that's what's been on my mind this week. And I'm so happy to have shared this with you. So I want to thank you for being here and for listening. And if this resonated with you, i would genuinely love to hear about it.
00:30:30
Speaker
um So until next time. And that's a wrap for this episode of The Slut Next Door, where we dive deep into the raw, unapologetic truths of human desire.
00:30:44
Speaker
If you loved what you heard today, make sure to subscribe and turn on notifications so you never miss a juicy moment. Want to connect with me outside the podcast?
00:30:59
Speaker
Click the link in my bio where you can find lots of juicy content and options. Until next time, I'm Beatrix Vail, your Slut Next Door, and I'll see you in the next episode.