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21 - DJ Snead - Choosing Music for your Ceremony and Beyond
56 Plays9 months ago
Rabbi LeighAnn chats with close friend of the Pod DJ Snead. Tune in for advice on choosing your ceremony music, how to find music pros you trust, and more!
Find and book DJ Snead at https://www.djsnead.com/
Don't forget - you can reach me (Rabbi LeighAnn) any time at www.yourohiorabbi.com or everyonesfavoriterabbi.com or rabbileighann.com !
Fill out the contact form there if you'd like to work with me on your wedding. There are SO many options, from Ketubah consulting to ceremony planning. If there's something you have in mind, don't hesitate to ask - I'm here to help!
IG: @yourohiorabbi
Podcast IG: @yourjewishweddingpodcast
Send questions for me to answer on this podcast to:
Hope to see you next time! Remember - there is ALWAYS more learning to do!
<3 Rabbi LeighAnn
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Transcript
Rethinking Wedding Planning Priorities
00:00:00
Speaker
what I like to tell him is look 15 20 years from now you're gonna be married to her and not her mom or you're gonna be married to him and not his mom so you two talk about what works for your day this dates and about her mom or his mom or whatever
Introduction to Rabbi Leanne's Podcast
00:00:20
Speaker
Are you planning a Jewish or interfaith wedding? Are you lost on where to even begin planning the ceremony, let alone finding a rabbi to help you? Well, it doesn't matter whether one of you is Jewish or you're both Jewish. You deserve a guide. So take a deep breath. I promise it will all be okay. Welcome to your Jewish wedding with Rabbi Leanne.
The Influencer: DJ Sneed
00:00:48
Speaker
Here, I can be everyone's rabbi.
00:00:50
Speaker
Yours too. My guests and I will share everything we know to help make your Jewish or interfaith wedding full of tradition and perfectly yours. Mazza talk to everybody.
00:01:15
Speaker
Welcome, everyone, to Your Jewish Wedding Podcast. It is so wonderful to be here with you today. I am in my office trying to stay cozy. It's that kind of chilly outside where it's kind of hard to warm up, I think. If your podcast feed has been afflicted by the Your Jewish Wedding Podcast, you have my close personal friend, DJ Sneed, to thank for that. And he is here on the show today. Welcome, DJ Sneed.
00:01:38
Speaker
Thank you. Thank you. I'm honored to be here. Oh my gosh. Such an honor for me. It's so wonderful. He is a big deal in the world of podcasting. So if you just want to hear more DJ's need, go to the Let's Get Booked podcast. He talks with all kinds of wedding pros and he harassed me to start podcasting like when was this back this summer?
00:01:58
Speaker
I was like, no, I don't want to. I don't want to. And you were like, just try it. It's not that hard. That's false. It's not that easy. It's actually not that easy. But thanks to you, I have learned a lot and I really appreciate it. The thing is sometimes you got to realize that people believe in you more than yourself. Right. And so then after you see that and you see how much they believe in you, then that step out on faith is that much greater.
Music as a Personal Soundtrack
00:02:23
Speaker
You know, like, so you got to start somewhere.
00:02:26
Speaker
And I'm so happy I was able to give you the ammunition to start. And it's been amazing. I actually really listened to it, even though I'm not. But I do love all y'all. Miles will talk to everybody. I'm getting the lingo down and everything. But it's been such an honor to see the growth in you and your podcast and your brand. And I'm just so happy I'm able to watch it from afar.
00:02:51
Speaker
Well, that's some serious wisdom you just dropped, and I feel like it's very dad energy. Like, I believe in you. Listen, I have been going hard on the dad energy. The dad jokes is getting worse as I get older. I think, you know, it's not an easy world to live in.
00:03:10
Speaker
And I don't think there's a single person who could not benefit from some dad energy or some mom energy, which I told you I try to bring to all my couples just a little bit like I'm here for you. And I'm here to like take care of you. And you know, everything's gonna be okay. And that's what you've really been for me and for and for my podcast, even though I haven't had you on yet. So
00:03:29
Speaker
That's all good. Buckle up everybody because the soothing tones of DJ Sneed's voice I hope will be a regular feature on this podcast, even though he is still learning a lot about Jewish weddings too, but maybe that's for the best. Sneed, you and I have been talking about our thoughts and our ambitions possibly for the future. Yeah.
00:03:53
Speaker
And you mentioned to me that you were thinking about some personal writing projects and I, yeah, about your experiences and your knowledge about the way that music transforms an event.
00:04:10
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. You know, I, I can say this because I know I am definitely a minority in this field. I, I wake up with a song in my head every morning. Like seriously. Okay. It could be the same song. It could be a different song, but every morning I wake up with a song in my head and
00:04:32
Speaker
I just realized how much my life is surrounded by music. And I'm not sure if you're one of those people who tie experiences in your life back to a reference of a song. That's me. Like literally, like if a song comes on, I remember where I was, who I was with, what happened like during that time. I think that's like one of the most basic of human instincts.
00:04:55
Speaker
You think so? I do. I think that our sense is not so much sound. I think probably it's more like you smell the cookies and you're transported to your grandma's kitchen. Yeah, I can see that. Yeah. However, tunes are really important actually in Jewish tradition. When the holiday changes, when the time of year changes, the way that we sing prayers and synagogue changes.
00:05:21
Speaker
So there's a particular tune, for example, for the Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur prayers. So even if you don't understand the words, when you hear that melody, at least for me, something in your soul kind of settles into like, okay, we're at this time of year, we're in new beginnings, we're all gathering back.
Song Selection and Emotional Resonance
00:05:40
Speaker
And I think that's very intentional for scattered people.
00:05:44
Speaker
However, lives are scattered. And so I think that that's also a human instinct to have a wedding song. There are songs that I used to sing to my babies when they were little. And when I hear them, I feel emotional.
00:06:05
Speaker
You know, it's funny you say that because as you say that, I think about this. I think about when people reach out to me and they're like, Snead. So I've booked a couple we're talking where we're in one of our consultation sessions and they say, hey, what song should we walk down now to? Or what song should we, you know, what should be our recessional song or what should be our first dance song? And I always tell them this.
00:06:29
Speaker
I'm married. I've been married 15 years. I've already had my day. So me choosing a song for you is unfair. This song has to be for you. It's close to you. Because I could pick a song that
00:06:47
Speaker
him and his ex-girl used to listen to all the time. You were, Oh my God, why would you pick that song? Well, you asked me to pick a song and this is the song that I pick for you. You know, so music is very selective. It's subjective to you and your experiences, right? Even if it's a perfectly lovely song, it might not be right. Anywhere approaching good at all. It's a bad couple.
00:07:06
Speaker
I mean, there's so many songs out there that have this great, the craziest back undertones to them, you know, like Ace, How Long. Love that song. Okay. If you get a chance to listen to it, please listen to it. If you're under my voice right now, just type in Spotify, wherever, Apple Music Title, Google, whatever, type in Ace, A-C-E, How Long. Okay. Amazing song. Okay.
00:07:35
Speaker
How long has this been going on, right? It's not what you think it is. It's not about a woman cheating on a man, right? It's about an old bandmate was messing around with another band behind their back.
00:07:53
Speaker
Oh, so it is that kind of. Well, yeah, kind of. So he was practicing and rocking out with another band behind Ace back and they kicked him out the group. They wrote a song about it and the song just turned into this mega hit. How long has this been going on? And they're talking in the lyrics about how, you know, we used to rock out and do stuff together. Then you played as you left us.
00:08:19
Speaker
Yeah, it does sound like a breakup. Oh, it is. Well, yeah, I mean, it sounds like a romantic relationship, but obviously it's, you know, but that energy that they put into writing that song, like, I feel like probably affects the song itself. For sure. Yeah. Sure. But think about this as a DJ. So me, my profession is in music, right? Yeah. So if somebody asked me for my opinion,
00:08:45
Speaker
I'm only going to give them an opinion from a music standpoint. I'm not talking from a personal standpoint because I barely know you. We just met three meetings ago. You've told me a little bit about your life and this and that and this and that, but I don't know you, you, you know? And so if I think about it, it's unfair for me to tell you what you should walk down.
00:09:11
Speaker
I think I'm very qualified to give you some, some examples or, you know, here, I think, you know, listen to this, let me know what you think this and this and that. But some people that they're just like, you're the professional, you do it. And it's just unfair. But do you do damage control? Like, if you know something about the song, do you warn the couple that it's something that they might not want?
00:09:34
Speaker
I do. I have been more known to, so if I'm talking to a couple and I'm asking them, so for instance, what kind of music do you listen to? What's your favorite genre? Who's your favorite artist? Tell me artists you don't like.
00:09:56
Speaker
What's the last concert you went to? That can tell you a lot too. Oh my gosh. I had a couple. I'm sorry. I'm like totally interrupting. One of my September couples in Pittsburgh.
00:10:08
Speaker
we had actually been at the same concert in Pittsburgh that summer. I had been in the section next to my bride and groom with my daughter at the concert. I knew that she liked this band, but I also know that as a couple, they're the kind of couple who does things. There are couples that do things and couples who don't do things. On the weekends, my sister's canoeing and going to whatever.
00:10:32
Speaker
activity. I don't do things, right? But this is a couple who like they do things. That's one of the things they that defines their relationship is like family fun time, you know? Yeah. And so I knew they liked the band, but whatever. And she walked down the aisle to one of their songs. And this was not this is not it was a Paramore concert.
00:10:51
Speaker
You would not expect her, any bride to walk down the aisle to a pair of horses. But it really, I mean, she was so emotional and so were her guests. So there was clearly like some backstory there or whatever, but asking about that concert like would have absolutely done it for you. Right. See, and that's my thing. Cause I try to take away the, the, the personal connect to it, you know, because there's certain songs. So I'm gonna let you in on a secret and I don't care. I'll tell everybody.
00:11:21
Speaker
I am a huge Michael Jackson fan, OK? I don't care what you say. Michael's the greatest. There's nobody who hates on Michael Jackson. Oh, plenty of people come on. But I'll say this. There's still Michael Jackson songs I can never listen to again.
00:11:36
Speaker
Okay. I'm talking about once they come on, I'm a wreck. Oh, it's emotional. Oh man. You're in a space and you're not getting out. Oh, it's bad. It's bad. Like if, if, if they start playing right now, I would have to hang up. Like, look, I can't do this. I got to go. Cause this is not good. You want to tell us what they are.
00:11:56
Speaker
I can't tell you. Well, you know, I don't care. I'll tell you. So song number one is music and me. OK. OK. Song number two is a song called Almost There, which hands down is the greatest song that's ever been recorded in history.
00:12:16
Speaker
Ooh. The song is called
Setting the Tone with Music
00:12:18
Speaker
Almost There. I hope all y'all are going looking this up on your Spotify also. No matter how hard the times may seem, don't give up our plan. Don't give up your dreams. Like, come on. No, you're putting yourself there. Stop. OK, rewind. No, let me stop. And then the third song, honestly, is... You don't have to say it. I would say Ben, like Ben.
00:12:45
Speaker
You know, Ben, the two of us, you know, about the pet rat. OK, yeah. So those hurt. And so my thing is, if somebody ever asked me to play one of those three songs as a part of their big day, it would be very, very, very hard for me to got it. Has anybody ever asked you? Those are those are pretty obscure. Yeah, because I don't.
00:13:08
Speaker
I'm the Michael Jackson fan that doesn't like like I hate man in the mirror. I just I don't like it. I don't like Thriller. I don't like Billie Jean is cool. Yeah. Bad is cool. Like I don't like Michael's big major hits. I like Michael B sides. You sound like my kids with Taylor Swift. I'll see. Yeah. Yeah. They don't. They don't want to go here. I say I'm too late. They don't want to hear that.
00:13:36
Speaker
No, I mean, that's, yeah. So anyway, but there, so there are songs that like you, you have like this like gut punch reaction to, right? Oh yeah. Yeah. So are you also asking couples, do you want to feel some kind of way during certain events at your wedding?
00:13:53
Speaker
Yeah, so what I do is this, I say, hey, if you had a choice, if you had an option, what would your option look like? Do you want everybody dancing? Do you want everybody chilled? Or do you want everybody just feeling comfortable in their environment? Yeah.
00:14:11
Speaker
Now their environment changes when alcoholism is provided. Yes. And that's what sucks. Correct. Correct. And I think it's difficult too, just the alcohol con. I'm hoping actually to do two episodes on Alcohol at Weddings. Ooh. One like pro and one con. Yeah. And like, you know,
00:14:32
Speaker
from a Jewish perspective, but also people's experiences. But I think that the vibe these days is like, we want a party and we want a dance party. And I think a lot of people don't actually have dance party acquaintances. You know, the people, they've got like this vision of their wedding, but the people that exist in their life are not dance party people. Like, for example, if you told me, I want you to be the head of a dance party, I would be like,
00:15:01
Speaker
What time is it over? I mean, maybe hire somebody else. Even if you're talking to me for patron of honor, okay? It's just not going to happen, right? And I think a lot of people sort of want that. And I think it's important for them to remember that you can't make things happen with your music. However, if they give you a cue or like a trigger, then you can.
00:15:23
Speaker
See, music is that emotion where you don't remember much about it. You just remember how it made you feel. Right. And so when you talk to somebody and they say, hey, we're going to be dancing all night, we're going to be rocking.
00:15:39
Speaker
You gotta remember that your matron of honor is, or let's just say your matron of honor is seven months pregnant. She's been with you since 7 a.m. It's now 9 30 and your reception isn't over until 11. Her feet are swollen. She's, she's hangry. Um, the baby's been kicking her. Um, she's tired and she just, she's ready to go. And you're just,
00:16:08
Speaker
You're just looking at her like, come on, let's rock. Let's do it. No, she's tired. Right. Know your audience. Like, honestly. So, yeah. So the importance of having a professional who like actually looks at the other humans in the room. Yeah. Which is also the argument against just queuing up a playlist. Right. Yeah. I mean, you got to look at it. These people. Well, obviously, it's their day off. You know, they took their day and they said, hey, this day is set aside for you. God bless them.
00:16:38
Speaker
Yeah. And then not only that, it's like, Hey, some people have to deal with getting a daycare. I mean, getting somebody to take care of the kids while they're with you the whole day. And what if your wedding is no kids and now my kids aren't here with me. I've been away from them all day. And it's just, it's a lot of things that, that comes with it. But I think a lot of.
00:17:03
Speaker
hype dream is the dance floor is going to be packed all night. I think the dance floor can be packed all night, but that's really dependent on you, the bride and groom. You set the standard and your bridal party and your people. Yeah. I mean, honestly, if your guest list is a hundred people and 75 of them are over the age of 60,
00:17:26
Speaker
Probably not. That's probably not going to happen. Well, you know, what I really wanted to talk to you about and what I really wanted to ask you about is just to say, first of all, you know, this conversation that we've been having, this is what everybody thinks about when they're thinking about music for their wedding. You know, you ask, what about music for your wedding? And their minds automatically go right to the party. Yeah.
00:17:50
Speaker
Most people, when they're planning their wedding, they're excited to plan the party, right? What they're usually not thinking about, Sneed, is that ceremony. And that's kind of what I speak to. And I think that's why there aren't so many podcasts about like the ceremony, kind of like what I do, because people just are not, it feels like a little bit of a sad trumpet, like, kind of moment, where they're like, okay, but that's not the fun part. However,
00:18:18
Speaker
the power of music does not change one bit. Yeah. Depending on whether it's the ceremony or the reception. So what would you want people to consider? Because I know in Jewish weddings, like the processional is different than in other weddings, but it still involves, you know, moms and dads, family members, bridesmaids, all that stuff. And it is sort of a heavy, it can be sort of a heavy moment. So what
00:18:44
Speaker
Do you want people to think about or what have you observed in terms of really being mindful about that music that happens during the ceremony?
00:18:53
Speaker
Yeah, I think ultimately you got to know your vibe. So are you looking for the wow factor? Are you looking for the all factor or are you looking for the the funny comedy? Like I've seen people do the what's the flower boy instead of a flower girl? Yeah, he's got like a beer holster.
00:19:17
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, it's a grown man walking out. That's funny. People are going to laugh at that, this and that. I think ultimately, too, you got to know your space. Right. So I did a wedding this past summer. It was an outside ceremony and the wind was knocking.
00:19:39
Speaker
I mean, the wind, it was horrible. I'm not gonna lie. Even with my mics, it was just... What can you do? Yeah, there was nothing that I could do, literally. And the objective of the ceremony was to play a song that was a tribute to her father as she walked down the aisle.
00:20:06
Speaker
And so I'm like, all right, cool. And it was one of those, hey, don't we don't want anybody. It's an unplugged ceremony. We don't want anybody taking pictures, put your phones up, this and that and this and that. Well, the guests couldn't hear as the officiant was like, hey, if everybody could put their phones up, they couldn't hear because the was just horrible wind howling. And but they could hear the music. So when the music comes on, you know,
00:20:34
Speaker
They knew, hey, you know, stand up this and that, but they stand up and everybody's taking pictures. But we've told them that it's an unplugged wedding. And it was it was it was it was crazy. But I think ultimately, when when you think about what's to come and what is the recessional, so as we're coming back down the aisle,
00:20:56
Speaker
I want people to think about what is that meaning because that recessional right there, for me, that recessional right there sets the tone for the rest of the night. Okay. Right. So going into the party. Going into the party, exactly. Because normally after that, we're going straight in the cocktail hour and I'm going to play some tunes for everybody there. You and your bridal party are going to be gone taking pictures.
00:21:19
Speaker
Family will be out taking pictures with you guys. So cocktail hours for your fan out for your friends And not immediate family, but you know friends and you know your parents old neighbors growing up and co-workers stuff like that so I look at the
00:21:37
Speaker
as the first song to get everybody into the mood for what's gonna be for tonight. I usually ask people, do something upbeat, do something fun, happy, you know, depending on what drama genre you want. I can help you with that. Like I said, I'm not gonna tell you what to do, but I can give you some suggestions too. But, you know, for me- Right, it should be something like,
00:22:04
Speaker
you really don't want to choose off of a list. I try to tell people, you can have a Jewish wedding and it can still be really Jewish, even if lots of parts are customized. And in fact, the most important part of the
00:22:21
Speaker
the most Jewish part of the wedding is the joy that people feel. And so just because you might think of stereotypically, this song that you're supposed to walk down the aisle to, if it doesn't fit you, that would ruin the vibe for everyone, I think, because they would feel like they walked into this social construct that they really don't fit. Have you ever met resistance from parents or officiants?
Balancing Personal and Family Traditions
00:22:52
Speaker
about songs like during the ceremony or I mean, I know like there's a there's a question of propriety during during the reception sometimes, but have you ever had any resistance or like disagreements?
00:23:04
Speaker
You have to go down to the wedding march or whatever. No, I have definitely. So for me, the resistance was at the rehearsal. OK. And what it was is. I don't know if Mother the bride was superstitious, but I play the song that she's walking down the aisle to tomorrow, tonight.
00:23:31
Speaker
you know, that makes a lot of sense. And that makes a lot of sense to me. I'm like, Oh, okay. Uh, okay. I won't do that. And then it doesn't matter mom. And she's like, no, it does matter.
00:23:45
Speaker
Now, I don't know this Jewish cup. That sounds like a Jewish superstition, which we affectionately refer to as a Jew superstition. That's something because you saw, I was like, you know what, that's a good point. You shouldn't do that. So Jewish couples, if you know of this as a custom that you've heard of, like for Jewish weddings, that you don't play the wedding music or the or the processional music during the rehearsal dinner, email me at your Jewish wedding podcast at Gmail dot com. And please let me know where to look for more. I would love to hear and share it with DJ's need.
00:24:14
Speaker
Yeah, for sure. And I was like, you know what, that's okay. I could see that. It's kind of like the whole you don't want him to see you before you walk down the aisle. So let's keep that a surprise as well. Oh, keep the song a surprise. Have you ever had a couple where one member of the couple was not really involved in the music and was unpleasantly surprised?
00:24:38
Speaker
Oh yeah. Have you? Listen, I'm not lying. I did a wedding this past year and I literally met with this couple once. And that's not normal for me. Like I usually meet with my couples at least five, six times. Right. Wow. Five or six times. I don't think they pay you enough for that.
00:25:04
Speaker
But now so they um, so I met with them once no lie once one time and from that one time, I mean, I think I nailed it. I mean they loved what
00:25:18
Speaker
What I the output of what came of that one meeting obviously and I was able to Give them the night that they deserved. Okay, and you know, I like pressure though. I really do I did a wedding once look I got to tell the story, please I did a wedding once I will never forget this The couple came to me and they said hey, we want a different wedding
00:25:42
Speaker
And I'm like, I like different. They said, you cannot play any song that is 1979 and younger. So everything had to be 1979 back. That is a challenge.
00:26:02
Speaker
huge challenge. And I'm going to tell you why, because back in the early days, 1940, 50, 60, those songs was only like two and a half minutes long. Oh, right. Right. And they were sort of made for TV like that. It was like the weekly Sunday dance shows and stuff. Exactly. Yes. Exactly.
00:26:20
Speaker
and so I mean I did a lot that's that's honestly without that wedding um I wouldn't be where I am today I'm not even gonna lie um because it taught me a lot about preparation
00:26:36
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. You got to prepare. And as a DJ, you got to know when to cut this song off, when it's time, when it, you know, Hey, we got to move along. We got to keep this night flowing, keep it going. Different things like that. And there's almost no downside to being prepared. Oh, not at all. With like every, with every single song. Have you, okay. So have you ever,
00:27:03
Speaker
Did you know, for example, okay, that the wedding march, the da, da, da, da, da, da, da. It was written by Wagner, I think. Who was like super anti-Semitic. Oh, wow. Yeah. So have you ever like encountered anything where people are like, this actually goes against our values? Like that you can't play during the ceremony. Like if you do that, it'll be like super offensive to us.
00:27:29
Speaker
I don't think I have. I do know there was a groom once that he wanted to come down the aisle to, it was like some death metal, like some crazy real metal. And then like the bride's like, no. Cause I actually, you're not walking down to anything. You just come from the side with the officiant and stand there.
00:27:51
Speaker
I mean, I think something that like social media has done, and I talk about this on basically every episode, okay, is that wedding social media has thrived on the idea that this wedding day is all about you and it is ultra personalized to whatever you want. So you have, I don't know if you've seen this piano guy on Instagram and you'll write him and you'll say like, can you please do
00:28:13
Speaker
a piano arrangement of a mashup between the Pokemon theme song and Metallica and the blues clues we've got male jingo jangle and he's like sure and he does the thing and and the thing is that like it seems kind of fun and it's ultra personalized but at a certain point like your wedding is about
00:28:34
Speaker
your guest's interaction with you. They're there to witness you and to be fully present in that story. And that's the kind of thing I like to talk about is like, will this fit into the story of your wedding day? Or will it be super disjointed? And if it's going to be disjointed, is that what you're trying to achieve?
00:28:54
Speaker
Maybe you are doing the ceremony like for grandma and you don't really care. And so in that case, but anybody who's listening, who's planning a wedding, don't think for a second that all of this information is not something that your DJ wants to hear.
00:29:08
Speaker
Because you're talking to a guy like DJ Sneed who doesn't play music on playlists at your wedding. That's not what he does. He gets to know you and he has a deeper relationship with music than 99% of the people.
00:29:28
Speaker
And he's going to plan your ceremony music based on what the vibe he gets from you that you need and what he thinks your crowd needs to be super present. So is there anything that you have learned from a couple in terms of their attachments to specific songs that has surprised you?
00:29:49
Speaker
Yeah, I've realized that a lot of people take into consideration how elder statesmen and how their elders will feel in the song choices that they have. And it's unfortunate, you know what I'm saying? Like, like, sometimes I think about
00:30:12
Speaker
my grandma's past, but if my grands was alive, she would definitely, um, she wouldn't care, you know what I'm saying? Like, and she didn't care, you know, at my wedding and she didn't at my wedding. I mean, we had a lady playing a violin as we walked down the aisle. So that was different. But I mean, you're talking 15 years ago. So I was going to say that was different back then, but I know your wife, she is on trend.
00:30:39
Speaker
For sure. She's the leader of trans actually. But I mean, ultimately, there's something to be said about couples who take the advice of others and not plan themselves.
00:30:55
Speaker
What I like to tell them is look, 15, 20 years from now, you're going to be married to her and not her mom. Or you're going to be married to him and not his mom. So you two talk about what works for your day. This day isn't about her mom or his mom or whatever.
00:31:14
Speaker
And sometimes that's not the correct thing to say, especially in other cultures or different things where they value the input of older people and they want to celebrate
00:31:30
Speaker
their heritage. I've never, I've, I've never wanted to come in between, you know, a couple or a family or, you know, if you give me a vibe, then I'm going to suggest a certain vibe to you. You can't come to me and say, Hey, you know, we love country music. And then I'm sitting here telling you a whole bunch of pop songs or rock songs, or correct. Yeah, different things like that.
00:31:55
Speaker
Well, let me tell you something that I hope will empower you because I don't know how many Jewish weddings you've played. Okay. I probably have done a wedding or two of someone who was Jewish, but it was not a Jewish themed wedding. Well, I tell my podcast listeners that I'm empowering them with four magic words.
00:32:21
Speaker
in case they meet any contention from anyone when planning their wedding, around the ceremony especially. The four magic words are Rabbi Leanne says no. So I am just empowering them with that if they meet any resistance in that way. So I'm going to empower you with that also, just from my standpoint.
00:32:45
Speaker
If you encounter a Jewish couple and they're like, well, my mother says you have to play this song going down the aisle, you can simply tell them Rabbi Lian says no. But also, you know, I think that you I think that it's good for couples to have somebody like that to lean on for them to say DJ Sneet says no. Yeah.
00:33:03
Speaker
He can't do that, like, whatever.
Choosing the Right Wedding Professionals
00:33:05
Speaker
But I will also tell you, part of this empowerment session is that there are no requirements for songs for a Jewish wedding. There just aren't. And anybody who feels like maybe it's a requirement in their heart, maybe they need to do some work around accepting that that's like a thing, but it's really not a thing. And so I just want to encourage any couple who's listening to really ask themselves what will make me feel the way I want to feel
00:33:32
Speaker
going down the aisle, coming back from the aisle like, while I'm circling at different parts in the ceremony. And I want you, if you are looking for a DJ or if you are hiring the violin like Mrs. Sneed did, to really ask those. Give your music professionals the opportunity.
00:33:52
Speaker
to display their knowledge of lyrics and connotations and the way that songs make people feel and help you with that because you might discover something, a connection or an emotion that you didn't really know existed.
00:34:12
Speaker
Have you ever had, I know that you had a bride coming down the aisle to a song that was connected to her dad. Is there anything else, like any other stories of anything really unique about songs that you played or observed during the ceremony that you just want to give us as an example of something that the listeners of this podcast can help expand their conception of what that might be?
00:34:38
Speaker
Yeah, I did a wedding once. There was a there was a bride. Her sister had passed away and she wanted her sisters. She wanted to walk down the aisle to her sister's favorite song. And there was one part of the song that she loved the most. And that part was probably literally like 25 seconds.
00:34:59
Speaker
And she said, Sneed, could you do me a big favor? I want to walk down the aisle to this song. It's only 25 seconds of the song and it's going to take me it's going to take me at least a minute to walk down. Could you, you know, loop it back? Could you can you do something with that? And I'm like, oh, yeah, I can definitely do that. Of course, of course. So
00:35:22
Speaker
I like I like everything being tailored to you. Like, don't always tell my couples, let's do something that you ain't never seen done before. It's your day. And I want if you got married last weekend, I want Christmas Day. When you meet up with the family, they're still talking about your wedding.
00:35:44
Speaker
I want New Year. They're still talking about your wedding. I want 4th of July. They're still talking like those are the kind of memories that I want to help create with my bride and grooms. I mean, but ultimately, the more personalized it is, the better all factor we're going to get from those.
00:36:04
Speaker
Yeah. And don't be afraid to ask. Like, I think there's a little bit of the culture of like, we're hiring professionals, we don't want to disrespect DJ's need, or we don't want to disrespect Rabbi Leanne by asking for something different than whatever. Don't assume, don't be afraid to ask people for what you want. Because I think those of us in the wedding industry in particular, we're there because we love these couples almost as if we were like their family.
00:36:29
Speaker
Our desire for them to have a day that is so meaningful to them in every moment that they wanted is actually probably more intense than some of their guests. Like, let's be real. Like, it's, you know, we really, we only take on couples if we've met them and we're like, we want the absolute best for you. Best of the best with your wedding. And so don't assume things. You know what happens when you assume things, everybody?
00:36:54
Speaker
Don't assume things about DJ Sneed based on who he is or the weddings he's done. And the same with all the professionals in your wedding. Don't be afraid to ask for what's important to you. And yeah, try to think about what will give you the best experience. Let me expand on that a little bit too. I will give this advice. Let the professionals be professionals. My thing is, if you hire an
00:37:20
Speaker
DJ read and he is your your friend's cousin who said he would do it. You know, I mean, I don't know if DJ read how, you know, how he does his business or conducts, but sometimes you get what you pay for. You know what I'm saying? And I'm going to use this analogy because this is how I personally live my life.
00:37:47
Speaker
I'm not going to a car lot and getting advice about a car from somebody who doesn't drive. You know, like you don't even have a license and you're trying to give me advice about a car. So my thing is let the professionals be professionals. You're calling them and asking them for their opinion and they're give them make them earn their pay and
00:38:17
Speaker
As a professional, if you're listening, just don't cheat the game. Give these people what they want. This is the most important day of their life, or one of them.
00:38:28
Speaker
Give them the day that they deserve. Give them the opportunity to live out their dream. You're supposed to only get married once. That's the intention, right? God willing, that's the intention. So my thing is, let's give them the day that they've always dreamed of.
00:38:48
Speaker
Right. When, if you're a couple, you know, hire somebody that you can ask yourself if something unexpected happens. Do I trust this person to handle things and to take care of me? Yeah.
00:39:02
Speaker
Because I think that that's, you know, whether you're talking about music and creating the right mood or you're talking about the rabbi, when the wind kicks up really badly, I hope the officiant did something to sort of make that situation a little better, right? The unexpected always happens.
00:39:19
Speaker
Always. Listen, I don't know if I've told you this before on my podcast, but I always come with three backups, literally. So every event I do, I come with three of everything. So I'm coming with two laptops and I come with a phone. My phone is worst case scenario.
00:39:42
Speaker
Right. I'm coming with RCA cables. I'm coming with quarter inch cables. I'm coming with XLR cables. I'm coming with three different speakers just in case one blows. I am blows like I literally learned my lesson the hard way. I was doing an event. It was like one of my first events ever. Speaker blows.
00:40:05
Speaker
Oh, no. Luckily for me, there was a dude at the party. It was a pool party. Dude was at the party and was like, hey, I think your speaker blew. I'm a DJ and I live right there. Let me go grab you a speaker.
00:40:18
Speaker
See, someone was looking out for you. Someone, one of the higher ups, you know what I mean? You know it. You know it. Absolutely. And from that day forth, I said, I will never be in this. I will never do this again. So I always come prepared. Listen, we said at the beginning of the episode, let's say it now, that is dad energy.
00:40:37
Speaker
Cause everybody makes fun of like the airport dad for getting there four hours early. Who saves you when you forgot something? The true pros. No, I like, and it's, it's very much mom energy too, right? With a giant bag. I come to weddings with three giant bags and people were like, what's in there? You're just officiating the ceremony. I'm like, just officiating the ceremony. I got backups of everything. I got an extra kiddish cup. They're like, we have a kiddish cup. I'm like, yeah, but you might've forgotten at the hotel.
00:41:01
Speaker
Exactly, et cetera, et cetera. Right. So, you know, think of, I just want you guys to hire people for your wedding. And this is aside from the topic of music, but it's, but music is included that you really trust to get to know you well enough to make sure that your day is what it
Memorable Events and Adaptability
00:41:18
Speaker
needs to be. And who really listens and you.
00:41:20
Speaker
You hire a DJ like Rabbi Sneed. We could make you an honorary rabbi. You hire a DJ like DJ Sneed. He is in the business of getting to know you and caring about you enough to not only do what you ask him to do, but he's in the business of making new memories for you, which I hope is what I'm in the business of too. And, you know, not to knock the reception again, we're coming full circle, but
00:41:49
Speaker
That ceremony is really important and I know that you have something to tell people don't sleep on the music for your ceremony, right? For real. Listen, the ceremony sets the tone for the day. So think about it. If you're at a ceremony and the wrong song is played as you're going to walk down the aisle, think about what else can go wrong because that's the easiest thing.
00:42:10
Speaker
For me as a DJ, I got three songs. I got what your bridal party's coming down the aisle too. I got what your bride's coming down too. And I got what the whole wedding party is coming back down the aisle too. Normally, those are my three songs. If you can't get one of those three right,
00:42:28
Speaker
Good luck. Right. Right. So, you know, thank you in advance for all of the couples who are going to hire you to come make their wedding days the most magical, including the chuppah, which if you're Jewish, especially, hire DJs need. I trust him. He's God willing going to be playing at my daughter's bat mitzvah next year.
00:42:49
Speaker
Oh, no, I'm there. I'm there. I'm so excited. Amazing. I actually she was asking me about her party and what plans I had. And I said, I don't really have very many plans except for the synagogue hall and DJ Sneed. And she's like, oh, my gosh, DJ Sneed's coming. So hire DJ Sneed because you can trust, especially if you have a Jewish wedding, that he is not going to miss a single cultural or ceremony beat because he and I are basically podcasting best friends.
00:43:17
Speaker
Am I right? You got it. You got it for sure. All right. So even though I anticipate, I hope that you'll agree to come back to the Your Jewish Wedding podcast many, many times. For sure. Just in case, God forbid, anything terrible happens or people don't listen anymore after this. Where can they find you and how can they hire you?
00:43:37
Speaker
Oh man, you can find me, hit me up, DJSnee.com. Take a look at everything that I have on there. I'm a pretty regular guy.
00:43:49
Speaker
I'm doing extraordinary things. I'm very busy, but I always make time for my people. Uh, so hit me up, social media sneeze world. Uh, hit me up on IG, Twitter sneeze world. That's S N E A D S world that you're living in. And, um, yeah, I'd love to connect with any of you and, you know, thank you so much for bringing me on. And I am so honored to be here. It's been a blast.
00:44:14
Speaker
And I will tell you all from personal experience, when you hire DJs need, you're getting a DJ for your big day, but you're getting a friend for life. Oh, that's dope. And what more could you ever want?
Episode Wrap-Up and Contact Information
00:44:24
Speaker
All right. Well, thank you so much for being here and we will look forward to hearing from you next time. Thank you.
00:44:30
Speaker
Well, everyone, I have had the best time being your rabbi for this episode. I'm so glad you joined me for another little bit of insight into planning your perfect Jewish or interfaith wedding. Until you can smash that glass on your big day, you might as well smash that subscribe button for this podcast. I don't want you to miss a single thing.
00:44:52
Speaker
Remember, you can always find me, Rabbi Lian, on Instagram. At, at, your Ohio rabbi. All one word for even more tips, tricks, recommendations, and wisdom on Jewish weddings.
00:45:09
Speaker
If you want to work with me on your wedding, you'll find all the info you need at YourOhioRabbi.com. Until next time, remember, you deserve the perfect wedding for you. Don't settle for anything less.