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12 - The Ketubah - A Brief and Imperfect History
78 Plays1 year ago
Rabbi LeighAnn reviews a brief history of the evolution of the ketubah, the Jewish Marriage Document, so couples can better understand the context when they are considering purchasing and signing one.
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Remember - there is ALWAYS more learning to do!
<3 Rabbi LeighAnn
Thisisnotaketubah.com
- Charlie Brown ektubah
- Anime ketubah
- TIM BURTON ketubah
- Ketubah with a henna had
- Pop art ketubah
- Ketubahs with subway maps and skylines
On the history of the ketubah text:
The structure of the ketubah text:
https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/the-ketubah-text/
Show notes:
https://thisisnotaketubah.com/
Nishima Kaplan: http://artketubah.com/
https://ketubahazoulayart.com/ketubah-design-an-overview/
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to Jewish and Interfaith Weddings
00:00:00
Speaker
But what about what actual Jews did, Rabbi Leon? Okay, we can read the Bible all the live long day, but it's certainly not Bible times. And thank goodness for that because I don't do well in the heat.
00:00:13
Speaker
Are you planning a Jewish or interfaith wedding? Are you lost on where to even begin planning the ceremony, let alone finding a rabbi to help you? Well, it doesn't matter whether one of you is Jewish or you're both Jewish. You deserve a guide. So take a deep breath. I promise it will all be okay. Welcome to your Jewish wedding with Rabbi Leanne. Here, I can be everyone's rabbi.
00:00:42
Speaker
Yours too. My guests and I will share everything we know to help make your Jewish or interfaith wedding full of tradition and perfectly yours.
00:01:07
Speaker
Hello, everyone. Welcome back to your Jewish wedding podcast. I'm coming to you from another Friday recording. That's right. This seems to be my schedule, my little schedule. It's my motivation to get through my pre-shabbos chores, which I can't stand, to sit here with you, which I love.
The Ketubah: History and Significance
00:01:26
Speaker
So I'm so glad you're here. Thank you so, so much. I've been having so much fun so far. I know that we've had several episodes talking about
00:01:36
Speaker
the philosophy, the history of Jewish weddings, when you can have them, thoughts about intermarriage, all kinds of stuff like that, how to find a rabbi. I think we're ready to start talking about the actual elements of a Jewish wedding ceremony. How about that?
00:02:00
Speaker
The first question I ask my couples when we sit down for a big planning meeting is, are you planning to sign a katuba? So many of you probably have an idea of what a katuba is.
00:02:16
Speaker
I think if you search Jewish wedding on Kugel, advertisements for katubas are probably one of the initial things that will pop up for you. They, in the year 2023, they are big, beautiful pieces of artwork, usually custom written for you as a couple, designed to hang on your wall. Absolutely beautiful text, sort of like wedding vows. We'll talk about that more obviously. And there are endless
00:02:47
Speaker
options to the beautiful artwork that you can choose for your katuba or you can make the artwork yourself. I've now had three couples where the artwork of their katuba was original within the last year and a half. So it's something that people are really embracing probably to cut costs, but also to make it very, very personal. It's beautiful, but what even is it? Because when you've seen katubot, which is the Hebrew plural for katuba,
00:03:14
Speaker
So I'll use Ketubas and Ketubot interchangeably, probably. When you've seen Ketubot online, whether you've been on Etsy or ketuba.com or any other Ketuba designers website, you've probably just seen they've been framed to show you the artwork. And then in the center of the artwork is a bunch of Hebrew and then a bunch of English. And you are probably reading it and assuming that the translation in English is
00:03:42
Speaker
a translation of the Hebrew, that may or may not be true. And actually, fun fact, in a traditional Ketubah or an Orthodox Ketubah, even today, it is not written in Hebrew. The characters are Hebrew, the letters are Hebrew, but technically the language it's written in is Aramaic. So we will talk about all that. I'm just going to start with the definition of Ketubah. Ketubah means it is written.
00:04:10
Speaker
So in the past, when I've spoken to couples about what all this is, I have to bring out a mea culpa here. I have probably been mistaken in the way that I have presented it is, Oh, it's a marriage contract. It just, it's like a prenup. And technically that's what it is, I guess, but I want to articulate why, you know, even if you're a skewing, a lot of traditional aspects of a Jewish wedding,
00:04:40
Speaker
And you're thinking, man, this is so archaic. I don't really want to sign a contract, especially not a prenup. Gosh, that sounds so cold. And it sounds like we're assuming we're going to get divorced. Okay. Take a pause because I want to emphasize if you don't know, if you're Jewish and you've forgotten, or if you're not Jewish, and this is sort of not part of your religious culture, just want to take a moment and remind ourselves how important it is.
00:05:08
Speaker
in Jewish history, Jewish heritage, and the Jewish faith for stuff to be written down, okay? The word ketubah, as I said, means it is written. Writing stuff down is a really, really big deal for Jews. I don't think I can emphasize this enough. Documentation is important to us in general, and we'll get to that in a second. But if you think about it, what is the center of Jewish religious life, Jewish cultural life, what is pretty much everything we do based on? That's right.
00:05:38
Speaker
It's the Torah. And what is the Torah? It's a scroll where stories and accounts and speeches and lists of rules were compiled and written and copied and written again and again and again. Every Torah scroll is a copy of another Torah scroll, right? That's how they're written. They're copied from document to document.
00:06:01
Speaker
It is quite literally a chain of transmission from what Jewish tradition tells us was an OG Torah scroll back in the days of Moses.
00:06:13
Speaker
all the way to today. You can buy a brand new Torah scroll today. Quite a big deal. And in fact, we have found really, really old Torah scrolls over a thousand years old, pretty incredible. And there are a couple differences between some of the very old additions we've found, but honestly, very, very few differences. In other words, the Jewish people is a people who is really into writing stuff down and puts a great deal of importance and significance
00:06:40
Speaker
on stuff being written down as a record of our story, yes, but also as a representation that that thing was important enough to write down and to document in that way. And all the more so for Kuchuba, it was documented in a really beautiful way. So it's not just a document, okay? The Torah is a record of a serious, serious, long lasting connection between God and the Jewish people.
00:07:05
Speaker
And a lot of people will pull out that metaphor even during a Jewish wedding ceremony. But the precedent of that record being so important and so holy, right? Mikudash means separate from everything else. Kodash means separate and different from everything else. So your kachuba will be that also, right? There is going to be no other document like it anywhere ever in the world.
00:07:32
Speaker
And we will talk about why that is. Actually, I think maybe in a second episode, I'm going to do two episodes on Catuba for now. So just know that, you know, in the past, if you've talked with me about Catubas, I may have made it seem like kind of not a big deal or kind of only symbolic or maybe we've been flippant about it, but the more I've studied,
00:07:50
Speaker
You know, what do I always say? There's always more learning to do. The more I've studied, the more I'm realizing that it's, you know, the spiritual significance of a document between two people who are committing to spend their lives together. And in the Jewish wedding vows, it says they are going to be
00:08:07
Speaker
unique to one another, more important, more central than anybody else in their lives. Gosh, it really changes my understanding of a Kachuba from a legal document to a really beautiful spiritual experience. Honestly, I'm not trying to be mushy gushy here, but it's pretty cool.
00:08:26
Speaker
always more learning to do. So what do we know about Ketubot? Like why do we even have them? First of all, Ketubot are one of the oldest customs that we know of that has been continuously practiced from the first exile from the temple. So hundreds of years BC to today. So just think about that. Between two and 3000 years old is this custom of
00:08:54
Speaker
Jewish people writing a contract to mark the beginning of their marriage and to outline some of the terms of that marriage. It's really old. Catubas are literally older than Jesus, you guys.
00:09:06
Speaker
So that is my introduction. We're going to do an overview of the whole narrative journey, I hope, in this episode of what a Catuba's history and significance is through the ages, just so we get a better understanding. And I think that if you get through this episode, I think it can only make your decision whether or not to get and sign a Catuba that much stronger. That's what I hope, at least. So we'll be back after a short break.
00:09:48
Speaker
Hey, welcome back. Do you guys like my 1940s swing band aesthetic that I'm going for here? You know, on these solo episodes, I don't really get any breaks to drink water. You might hear it in my voice, and so you will enjoy some big band aesthetic while I take care of that here.
00:10:07
Speaker
So of course I broke off my introduction halfway through. You know, I'm just going to give another disclaimer. You guys know by now, this is episode 12. You know that in this podcast, we go into some deep times, which some of you may call tangents and that's fine. The Jewish people have a very strong tradition of going off into tangents forever and ever. See the Talmud and all its commentaries.
00:10:36
Speaker
I like to call these deep dives or tangents fun, super detailed facts from me to you. It's a gift filled with love. So the other thing is that as I've said in previous episodes, I am in fact a human. I make mistakes as all humans do. And I change my opinion based on things that I learned. So it could be that something I say in this, in this episode does not reflect what I've said to you.
00:11:03
Speaker
Consider it an example that your rabbi is always learning new things and recalibrating her opinion based on what she learns. Lucky for you and lucky for me. What a great religion to be part of, don't you think? Okay.
00:11:18
Speaker
Final disclaimer, and this is really important to me, even if you're listening to this and it's not important to you, I want you guys to know that this is an important disclaimer to me. Okay, are you ready? The first part of this discussion will be using heteronormative terms. So in the first part of this discussion, probably for this entire episode, because we're just doing history,
00:11:42
Speaker
I'll be talking about bride and groom. This is for convenience, but it's also a reflection of the historical reality of marriage contracts and marriage in general, which is that before very recent years, the past couple of decades, we did not see same sex commitment ceremonies ever.
Inclusivity in Jewish Weddings
00:12:02
Speaker
There, there were no marriages. And even if there were marriages, they weren't official marriages according to any law, including Jewish law. Okay.
00:12:11
Speaker
And I actually don't know what the state of same-sex kiddushin, which is legal marriages in Judaism, is in same-sex couples. I'll have to look into that. What an interesting episode. Okay, we'll talk about that. If you guys would like to hear it, let me know. Your Jewish Wedding Podcast at gmail.com. Please give me all your feedback and requests for future episodes, things you're interested in related to Jewish weddings. I want to talk about it.
00:12:36
Speaker
So in the next episode, when I talk more about contemporary Kachubas, considerations that you as a couple might have for your Kachubot, it'll probably be a mini episode. In that episode, which is talking about today, the year 2023, I will be sure and certain to shift my language from a heteronormative mode into a more inclusive mode, because I want everybody to understand that it's important to me
00:13:05
Speaker
that we are inclusive and we make sure to include same-sex couples in our discussion of katubas because goodness knows there are plenty of same-sex couples getting married in jewish weddings god love them and they are buying katubas and i want them to know what to put in it too okay what did i tell you what did i tell you about super fun super detailed facts aka tangents from me all right
00:13:27
Speaker
Okay, friends, let's go back to the Bible. That's where all our stuff starts, isn't it? I feel like every single one of my little historical podcasts, we talk about the Bible, but it's important for reasons I said at the beginning of this episode. You're still with me, you're still with me. So we see that in the Bible, the first book of the Torah, Genesis, guys, it is drama.
00:13:52
Speaker
Okay, I think I've mentioned this before, but it is full of, I mean, it is like Grey's Anatomy, but they're like wearing sandals and plain clothes because they live in the desert. Intense, okay? It is so drama. Who is in love with who? Who wants to marry who? What they have to do to get married? Oh no, now they're trying to have a baby. I mean, it's endless and the drama is, you can't even imagine. Even if you just, if you want to be entertained,
00:14:18
Speaker
and learn Jewishly, just sit down and read the book of Genesis. What a ride. Okay. Anyway, we see in Genesis as early as Isaac and Rebecca, the concept of a financial exchange taking place to mark a new marriage between a bride and a groom. Okay. So as early as this,
00:14:43
Speaker
the woman would traditionally leave her household and join the man's household. Okay. And there is the reality that all humans worked to sustain the household. When a woman left her father's household and went to her new husband's household, that represented a loss from her father's household because that was labor. She would not be contributing to his household. And I know that that's not the typical conception.
00:15:12
Speaker
that we have now, and I will explain why that changed a little bit. So we'll see in the Bible that Isaac's son Jacob, when he met Rachel and fell in love with her,
00:15:24
Speaker
Another super drama story. You guys should go read it. Incredible. Anyway, Jacob had to work for seven years to sort of pay off what Rachel was worth to her father. And then there was even more drama and he ended up having to work for 14 years and it was a whole thing. Anyway, this idea is nothing new, right? We've all heard of dowries and bride prices and all kinds of stuff, okay?
00:15:50
Speaker
But what about what actual Jews did, Rabbi Leon? Okay, we can read the Bible all the live long day, but it's certainly not Bible times. And thank goodness for that, because I don't do well in the heat. What I can tell you is that we have found, we, being not me, we being archeologists, have found a lot, actually a lot of Ketuvahs, old ones and older ones. And the most ancient one that they have found is
00:16:18
Speaker
from the year 440 BCE. Archaeologists have found an actual Jewish marriage record, aka a katuba, that was written during the period of the return from the Babylonian exile. So that would have been, the Babylonian exile ended in around 372 BCE.
The Ketubah as a Feminist Document
00:16:38
Speaker
So it's right around there, right around 400 BCE.
00:16:42
Speaker
It was written in Aramaic. Aramaic was the spoken language of Jews living in the Middle East at that time.
00:16:53
Speaker
Hebrew was not spoken by the Jewish people at that time. Some of you may know this, especially if you know things about Christianity because you will know that Jesus did not speak Greek in which the New Testament is written, nor did he speak Hebrew in which the Old Testament is written. He spoke Aramaic.
00:17:13
Speaker
Fun fact, the movie that Mel Gibson made, The Passion of the Christ, they wrote or tried to write the whole dialogue of the movie or the entire script and Aramaic, even though Aramaic is dead. Okay. It's a dead language. But anyway, about 300 years after this super old katuba was found, we can see in books of Jewish law that the Sanhedrin, which was the Jewish court, formalized
00:17:40
Speaker
the language of it so that it would be more standard. But this super old Jewish marriage record is so fascinating. Why? Because it tells us about what Jewish people were doing even before there was a law recorded for how to do it in terms of creating this record of, okay, we're entering into a marriage. What is the literal deal? Okay. So this couple got married in Egypt. So quite close to the land of Israel, but not quite.
00:18:11
Speaker
It was actually written from the POV of the groom and it is declaring that he has accepted the bride as his wife. After that, they wrote down all the terms of the marriage contract. So I'm going to put a link to where I got all this information that I'm sort of like live summarizing for you right now, by the way, in the show notes.
00:18:33
Speaker
So the groom paid the bride's father five shekels, which was, we understand, which was a standard for like marriage contracts in Persia at the time as a mohar for his daughter. What's a mohar? It's basically the price that represents what the bride's father is losing by her leaving his household. Okay. But then the ketubah says he also received a gift of 65 and a half shekels from the groom as well.
00:19:03
Speaker
So it's really interesting because we can already see that there were two separate sums in this earliest kachuba, and the first one was merely symbolic. So it was a formality of an older custom that had even lived until now, from which we can deduce that kachubas are much, much older, even than 2,500 years within the Jewish people. Okay, now here's the really interesting part. According to the marriage contract, the bride had equal rights with her husband.
00:19:31
Speaker
What does that mean? Equal rights. Let me tell you, she had her own property that she could do what she pleased with. So she could sell it. She should, she could give it to her, her sisters, her friends, her kids, whatever. And here's the real kicker. She had the right to pronounce a sentence of divorce against her husband, even as he had the right to pronounce it against her. So I gathered this was innovative, um, perhaps in the past and even in contemporary Jewish law, it's typically the,
00:19:59
Speaker
the husband who has to initiate divorce proceedings, but this super old kajuba said, bride can decide she wants a divorce on equal grounds as he can. And all she had to do was appear before the court of the community and declare that she had developed an aversion. Okay, so here we have this super old kajuba, 2,500 years old-ish, give or take, it has no fault divorce.
00:20:25
Speaker
Guys, we have some states in the United States of America that don't have no fault divorce. So when people talk about the katuba as a feminist document, yes, you'll see that it does include monetary sums and you know, today they are fairly standardized. But I hope as part of this conversation, I will explain to you in good enough detail why it's, it's, it can be seen as a feminist document.
00:20:49
Speaker
And for that, I think it's super cool that contemporary couples choose to have one. So the article where I found this information says that it explains that we don't really know whether these innovations of the equality of the wife to her husband was something that Jews were doing as a standard or whether Persian Babylonian law had as a standard. We're just not sure because it's so old, but it was upheld in this Jewish marriage document. Very cool.
00:21:19
Speaker
So I explained how the role of this particular katuba went beyond contractual agreements, that is monetary agreements, right? Even though it included a lot of mention of money, right? This groom is basically paying this bride's dad to take her away, right? It looks like he's acquiring a woman in that first part. But the bulk of the katuba is about protecting her future interests.
00:21:45
Speaker
the bride's future interests. It is imagining all the terrible things that could happen within that marriage and giving her safety to protect herself, her livelihood, her wellbeing, her existence in the world from those things. Okay, so she has her own property. She can ask for a divorce. And remember, she has what her husband paid her dad at the beginning, which is 70 shekels. It's a lot of shekels then, 2,500 years ago. Now 70 shekels. Well,
00:22:15
Speaker
in Israel. 70 Shuggles is like five bucks. If I'm wrong, tell me. Okay. Um, and so I think, you know, the point I wanted to make about this super ancient Kachuba is that even back then it was starting the marriage off
00:22:31
Speaker
with an expectation of respect and individual agency within that relationship. Very cool, right? With all the language we hear about two people becoming one and now your lives are joined together and now you're the focus of my universe, you know, Jewish culture is always recognized. Like, listen, things go south all the time. We need to make sure that our daughters are taken care of.
00:22:56
Speaker
And I think that that's a really beautiful thing, personally. So of course, like everything else, katubas evolved pretty quickly, just like any customs of the people. Even in that first katuba, remember I told you the mohar, which was the bride price, was merely symbolic. And it changed, we can see this stuff changing when we find katubas from even the late biblical period.
00:23:21
Speaker
Why? Because around that time, culturally it became more common for men to remain unmarried. So instead of the groom paying, you know, all those 70 shekels to the bride's father, now we start to see Kichibas include dowries. In other words, what she's bringing with her to enhance her new household, to enhance the groom's household. So it is,
00:23:51
Speaker
usually money and or valuables, sometimes livestock, dimensions to cows and goats, things that she is bringing with her as a gift. And the agreement from historians and archeologists, anthropologists, whatever, is that this is an enticement for men to marry her.
00:24:12
Speaker
And if you are a fan of Jane Austen, as I am, you guys know how powerful that dowry is. Y'all remember in Sense and Sensibility how Willoughby did Mary Ann Dashwood dirty because she was broke and he had a chance to marry someone who was super rich. And that is how we learned that he was a scuzzbucket. Should I do a podcast episode about Jane Austen? I don't think so.
00:24:36
Speaker
But if any of you want to chat with me about Jane Austen, slide into my DMs. We'll talk. Okay. So even though the bride was bringing a dowry with her, that didn't change that the Catuba was a guarantor of her future security. Okay. When she came into the marriage with money, with things of value, with contributions to the household and the family's livelihood, she came into that marriage with power.
Evolving Marital Agreements in the Ketubah
00:25:03
Speaker
And in those kachuba, where it detailed her dowry, was the stipulation that in the case of divorce, she takes it all back with her. She brought 10 goats, she leaves with 10 goats. She brought a really nice bed frame, she leaves with the dang bed frame, or the monetary value thereof. Okay, so anthropologists think that this is reflective of the desire to make marriage easier, as we said, and to make divorce harder,
00:25:33
Speaker
because the groom would be losing that much more money. They agree that it was a move to make marriages more stable, probably due to a historical time of great instability for the Jewish people as a whole.
00:25:51
Speaker
Now there's speculation that we lose a little bit of the feminism at this time, because if a groom has to pay that much money, if he gets divorced and it's not written into that katuba that the bride can initiate divorce, it's going to be real hard to get him to agree to a divorce, no matter how miserable things are. So there's a big debate on, you know, how feminist the katuba remained. And we actually have reason to believe that it went a little bit backwards. Okay.
00:26:22
Speaker
In the Talmudic era, we are moving into the Talmud, which is a couple hundred years post-final exile from Jerusalem. First century BCE, remember that the text of the Akachiba was formalized.
00:26:37
Speaker
Nobody knows exactly who formalized it, but most people think it was Rabbi Shimon Ben Shaitach. And there have been some adjustments and modifications, but the Ketubah text that we have today closely resembles that codified one. Okay, still written in Aramaic, even to this day. Why? Because it was the language of the law. It was the language people spoke and the language of the law. And remember, this is a contract between two lay people. It's very important that they understand what's in it.
00:27:07
Speaker
Interestingly though, there's an entire tractate of the Talmud that's devoted to what's inside of a katuba and what it means. So during the Talmudic era, these little adjustments took on a really interesting tone. Instead of just being about property, money, and individual rights,
00:27:25
Speaker
it started to include some kind of sweet emotional things. So we see the text in the Talmud cited as this, the groom vows to work for, to honor, to feed, and to support his wife in the custom of Jewish men who do these things for their wives faithfully.
00:27:49
Speaker
In other words, it's a reflection that marriage has clearly become more than a financial arrangement in this Jewish culture, right? The fact that the word honor is in there at all, supporting you according to the custom of Jewish men, it means that, listen, we recognize that there's a social standard for how we treat our husbands and wives. They're very much the most important people in our lives.
00:28:15
Speaker
and we're adding some general promises of honoring one another, supporting one another, even this many hundred years back, thousand plus years back. It goes on to say, yes, if we get divorced, I will give you this settlement and it was 200 silver zuzim or I found in some places zukukim. It could be a difference in exile locations. I'm not sure, I'm not a historian. In addition, I will give you in this marriage,
00:28:43
Speaker
food, clothing, necessities of life, and get this guys, conjugal needs. So in the traditional, traditional katuba, when we are speaking about intimacy, it is the wife's needs that determines what that looks like, at least according to the katuba.
00:29:08
Speaker
So, you know, call it archaic that we're talking about money in this marriage contract. But, you know, once again, a case can be made that it's quite a feminist document. Everything in this document is protecting the bride and detailing what the groom is promising her. And it starts to get a little mushy gushy in the time of the Talmud. Gosh, I love it. I think that's very sweet.
00:29:30
Speaker
So now you might say, okay, if that was, you know, almost 2000 years ago that we were writing about that certain amount of money, why do we still have that certain amount of money in the katuba? It's worthless. So I looked it up actually how much 200 zukukian would be worth today. It's based on a measure of silver and opinions range from it, it would represent somewhere between $10 and $275.
00:29:56
Speaker
I don't know about you guys, but when I go to Costco, I spend more than $275. That's certainly not a divorce settlement for me. Luckily for us, as I've mentioned before, Jewish law grows, changes, and adapts to contemporary times. There are plenty of Orthodox opinions that the 200 zikukim or zuzim as a specified amount.
00:30:19
Speaker
was meant to be symbolic of its value at the time. So there are some opinions that say what that represented was an entire year's living. He would support her fully for an entire year, even after the divorce. God forbid, if they had a divorce. Or what contemporary Orthodox rabbis have instructed that we should do is evaluate according to the contemporary value of that much silver. So cool.
00:30:46
Speaker
They say yes, the current purchase value of silver in one's country. Very interesting article on this. I'm going to put it in the show notes.
00:31:11
Speaker
So I hope it's really clear by now that the katuba was written almost exclusively for the benefit of the wife, of the woman in the relationship. And even today, in Orthodox weddings, there will be a shot from the photographer who knows what he's doing of the rolled up katuba being held by
00:31:37
Speaker
the wife, under the chuppah. So the groom brings it to the chuppah and he gives it to her when she gets there. And she's holding it to show that she has received it and to show everyone that it belongs to her and only her. It's a promise from the husband to the wife. And it's not only a promise made in vows, it's a promise made in writing. And I know, you know, again, that might seem cold, but going back to the beginning of the episode,
00:32:04
Speaker
for the Jewish people, having something written down is a spiritual thing as well. It is written, which is the meaning of katuba, is a very powerful thing. Okay.
00:32:16
Speaker
I also want to pause here for a small discussion about what it means to, when the katuba says, acquiring people. So at the end of this katuba text, this very old katuba text that we still use today, the very last paragraph is a legal formulation, okay? And it says,
00:32:42
Speaker
We have completed the act of acquisition from the groom to the bride, according to everything stated above. And everything is valid and confirmed. I want to pause and look at the meaning of the word acquisition acquired. Remembering that it's a legal formulation. What are we acquiring? Okay, and the Talmud goes way in depth into this and brings up
00:33:06
Speaker
some very obvious objections to this word acquired. They say, we, according to the Torah, we don't even own slaves. So certainly we're not saying that as a result of this document or as a result of a marriage, a groom would own, would acquire a bride as though she's an object, right? They said, no, that's not it. He has brought this document and promised her all these things.
00:33:33
Speaker
to show that he is trustworthy, sincere, and heartfelt, and most of all committed.
Artistry and Symbolism of the Ketubah
00:33:42
Speaker
So then what is he acquiring? The rabbi said, oh, he is acquiring the status of having an intimate relationship with her.
00:33:52
Speaker
So this document shows that he has proven he can care for her. We trust him enough to provide for her in the way that husbands are supposed to provide for wives, that her father was comfortable allowing her to enter into this adult relationship with him. So is it, you know, a patriarchal guarding of a woman's purity? Yes. Obviously it is.
00:34:15
Speaker
However, it not only shows concern for her financial wellbeing in the future, should anything terrible happen, God forbid, but this acquisition from my point of view, and I believe from the Rabbi's, the Talmud's point of view as well, is a protection of her physical safety. And I know, guys, I know that the idea of purity in a woman is patriarchal. It is misogyny.
00:34:44
Speaker
we don't like it, whatever. And when we read the Kachuba in its historical context, protection of these women's physical safety was something that couldn't be overlooked. You know, obviously those times were not the same as today. I do think that
00:35:03
Speaker
It is a valid and warranted protective measure for those women in that time. Okay. So, you know, once again, if I've ever gone through this and been flippant and been like, Oh, it's a man buying a woman and whatever, I just want to reemphasize that my understanding of what a Kachuba was and is and how it developed was not complete. And now that I've learned a little bit more, I think I have a better handle on it. Of course, our learning is never complete, as you know.
00:35:29
Speaker
So we have also found Kitubot from the medieval era. As I've said in previous episodes, Jewish wedding customs are very divergent because Jews like to be fashion. We pick up stuff from the culture around us and we want to
00:35:46
Speaker
be fashion, so we kind of do what they're doing, and we kind of take our cues from the culture in which we live no matter where we are in the diaspora, okay? So in the medieval era, there was a lot of art, beautiful art, that surrounded some of their katubas, and I wanna make sure to put that in the show notes. Here, I'm just gonna type it down there so I don't forget it. All right.
00:36:18
Speaker
Cool. So beautiful, beautiful illuminated art. Think like illuminated manuscripts, just super fancy letters, gold leaf, a beautiful symbolism of maybe like something like a crest of the bride's family, a crest of the groom's family. There was artwork that included all the letters of their names sort of hidden within it. Beautiful, beautiful stuff. And
00:36:40
Speaker
A lot of katubas added individual stuff too, so there's artistic, linguistic diversity. Of course, the traditional Aramaic text pretty much remained unchanged, but you could see people adding little love poems into the katuba text. You could see people adding very specific detailing of exactly what, you know, the bride brought and the groom brought and what the agreement was.
00:37:05
Speaker
So through this artwork, we can see that the Kachuba really was a spiritual emblem, right? It represented the beauty that people found and wanted to find in marriage, which is really nice.
00:37:22
Speaker
So this article that I found on Danny Azalea's site, which he is a katuba artist, it says that we have evidence that the art on katubas in these medieval times was done by Jewish artists and also non-Jewish artists. Sound familiar? People wanted the very best.
00:37:43
Speaker
Right, so we can see reflected, a lot of times we know where a katuba is from and an old ancient katuba is from based on the artistic style around the text. Which is kind of a beautiful thing, right? It speaks to the persistence of Jewish culture and faith in even an exile scattered all around the world. The same katuba text, different artwork that reflects where they live. But the katuba text, the writing itself reflects who they are.
00:38:10
Speaker
And he says it was even, you know, in these medieval times, you know, 14, 15, 1600s earlier, that the couple would include like their brand in it. So it might be like a lion to represent the bravery of the Jewish people or whatever it was. The Jewish couple's faith and values was represented in the artwork of the Kachuba. Very cool.
00:38:34
Speaker
So we will talk about in the next episode actually the importance of leaving this historical trace.
Choosing a Modern Ketubah
00:38:41
Speaker
And it's sort of like a very Jewish vibe that we know we always leave these written down things. And it's more than a reflection on the Torah, okay? We'll talk about that for sure in the next episode. This is something that I go through actually with each and every one of my couples.
00:38:53
Speaker
So they could probably give you my whole spiel. So the same article though tells us that the Ketubas in Muslim countries from the same time, they mirror the religious and cultural norms of that area, which means the human form does not appear. You're more likely to see animals, plants, geometric shapes,
00:39:14
Speaker
The Muslim countries were the math people, right? Geometric ornamentation, architectural features such as Eastern style pillars and pointy arches. Oh, then he says in Italy, katubas from the Renaissance, lots of gold and brightly colored. Very cool. Biblical scenes. But then if you go up to the communities of Eastern and Central Europe, they didn't decorate their katubas at all.
00:39:39
Speaker
It was viewed as an ordinary legal document, and they were carefully written but contained no Jewish religious art. What's the common theme between all these katubas? Over a thousand years, over two thousand years, since they found, since that earliest example we have, which probably there were even earlier katubas than that, same text, basically the same text, wildly different art.
00:40:04
Speaker
So in the next episode, when I talk about contemporary katubas, what you might want to think about when you're selecting a katuba for your wedding, there are a lot of people who will sort of disparage the fact that katubas these days are so bougie, but I want you all to remember that in many, many communities, guys, katubas have always been bougie. You're living in the Renaissance and you've got like a contract accented in gold leaf,
00:40:33
Speaker
It doesn't get boojier than that. Okay, all that said. I hope you've enjoyed this brief and imperfect history of katubas, the Jewish marriage contract, and that you will join me next time for a conversation about katubas today.
00:40:51
Speaker
What are they like? What are the requirements? What do I ask from my couples before they order and sign a cuduba? And things you should consider, whether or not you should even get one. So until next time, remember, I think it's the third time I've said it this episode.
Podcast Conclusion
00:41:06
Speaker
there is always more learning to do. I welcome all your questions, comments and reflections. Please email me at your Jewish wedding podcast at gmail.com. I really want to hear from you and I really want you to be part of this conversation. So on this beautiful Friday afternoon, it's actually Arab Sukkot. It's been such a pleasure spending the last little bit of time with you. And once again, I thank you for the conversation until next time.
00:41:34
Speaker
Well everyone, I've had the best time being your rabbi for this episode. I'm so glad you joined me for another little bit of insight into planning your perfect Jewish or interfaith wedding. Until you can smash that glass on your big day, you might as well smash that subscribe button for this podcast. I don't want you to miss a single thing.
00:41:56
Speaker
Remember, you can always find me, Rabbi Lian, on Instagram. All one word for even more tips, tricks, recommendations, and wisdom on Jewish weddings.
00:42:13
Speaker
If you want to work with me on your wedding, you'll find all the info you need at yourohioRabbi.com. Until next time, remember, you deserve the perfect wedding for you. Don't settle for anything less.