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I'm Pregnant! And I Didn't Expect It To Be Like This...
3.3k Plays2 years ago
A Guide to Happiness, my 4 week online manifestation and self & spiritual development course is back!! For this week only (valid until 10pm on the 4th of October) you can save $78 and get the course for only $222! Learn more and sign up here.
This is an episode I’ve been wanting to record for a long time, but couldn’t! I’m quite nervous to share this episode as it’s quite a vulnerable one! But I am so thankful to have the most supportive community and I want to bring you real episodes that hopefully inspire and resonate with you too!
In this episode I share the struggles of my pregnancy so far (trimester 1). I chat about the physical and emotional toll it took and little steps which eventually made each day a little easier. No Mummas journey is the same, so please know, this is just my experience. I never expected it to be this hard, but now I’m starting to see the light, I can see all the lessons the universe was wanting to teach me., even though while I was in the depths of my sickness, I couldn’t have cared less about what the universe wanted to teach me! All I wanted was to feel healthy.
In this episode, I chat about how no matter what we are going through, be it pregnancy, hardships with friends, family, health, ANY kind of negativity, we should never suffer in silence. As humans, we unfortunately have this natural instinct to hide hard things, because they can be too uncomfortable to face, or because we don’t want to be a burden or be a negative energy around others. However bottling this all up an dealing with it on our own, isn’t sustainable.
I also chat about the fear we hold when life needs us to stop or pull back. It’s natural to think when we stop, everything else stops, but what I’ve learned is that not only does life keep going, but if we do completely surrender and trust the process, incredible things can actually unfold when we are not involved. The art of doing less and attracting more was so comforting to me during this time.
I hope you liked this episode, please join my facebook community below and stay in touch with like minded, magical people!
View my website here! (My very own oracle cards, journals, meditations + more magical stuff available!)
Find me on Instagram here!
@passaroundthesmile
@cleomassey
Join my Facebook community group here!
The Pass Around the Smile podcast is recorded on Bundjalung Country, in South East Queensland, Australia. We acknowledge the Yugambeh people of the Bundjalung Nation, the traditional owners of this land. We pay our respects to Elders past, present and emerging.
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Pass Around the Smile'
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Speaker
Pass Around the Smile is like your go-to friend, the one that lifts you up and backs you to the end. She's there to guide and inspire, challenge and teach, and remind you that your best self isn't out of reach. Self-development, manifestation, self-love and more, it's time to trust the process more than ever before. Welcome to Pass Around the Smile, the podcast. I'm your host, Cleo Massey, and I am so glad you're here. Let the magic begin.
Announcing 'A Guide to Happiness' Course
00:00:29
Speaker
Before we get started on this episode, I wanted to let you know that A Guide to Happiness, which is my four week online course, is finally back. It is a course that focuses on manifestation, self-development and spiritual development, and I am honestly so proud of it. The reviews that I have received from this course, I've held it seven times live before.
00:00:51
Speaker
have just blown my mind. Like the shifts that people experience and what they've learned and what they've carried on to use in their lives is just, I don't know, it's made me so, so proud. So I am very excited to say that there is an introductory offer happening right now just for the first week. So.
00:01:10
Speaker
It's $78 off, so you get the course for $222 because that's an angel number, duh. And so it's usually $300. So that's just for this week only. If you are interested, I'll put the link in the show notes. It kind of goes over everything that you get, but essentially it's a four-week course. You can do it wherever you are in the world.
00:01:30
Speaker
you can do it in the four weeks that I kind of suggest or you might want to do it quicker, you might want to do it longer, you can do it in your own time, in the comfort of your own home. I think this really brings the big shifts because when you're in your own home meditating and journaling and reflecting and doing the work you actually allow yourself to really open up and be quite vulnerable. It's really exciting. It is a course that I know will bring big shifts and big
00:01:55
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realizations and our heart moments for you. I won't explain everything that's involved because there is honestly so many elements that go into this course but there is a lot on manifestation, the law of attraction, the laws of the universe, why the law of attraction might not be working for you, your blocks limiting beliefs, we create specific mantras
00:02:14
Speaker
For you, we go over self-love, forgiveness, letting go of guilt, pressure, negativity, and actually finding out where that negativity is coming from and stemming from. There's honestly so much. I, yeah, I'm excited. I love it. I love it, but I'll leave it at that. Links in the show notes and that introductory offer is for this week only. Let's get into the episode.
Pregnancy Announcement and Recent Absence
00:02:37
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Hello and welcome back to the Pass Around the Smile podcast. Oh my gosh, I have been wanting to
00:02:43
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record this episode for so long to explain to you guys what has been going on with me. But obviously I couldn't really share yet. I'm sure you have seen on my Instagram or Facebook or in my community group that I am actually pregnant. I'm having a baby. Oh my God. It's so crazy. It still doesn't seem real.
00:03:07
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But this is why I have been so distant from Pass Around the Smile and it's so funny. I love my community so much. You guys don't feel like customers. You don't even just feel like a part of a community. You feel like friends because so many of you have been on to me.
00:03:25
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Cleo, is everything okay? Where have you been? I noticed you having a break from the podcast. You haven't been posting on your stories much. Is everything okay? Like you really do act like my friends and it's so sweet and so lovely and it really does make me feel so supported. So thank you for being in my past around the smile community and just being so beautiful and so lovely and so worried about where I have been.
Challenges and Vulnerability During Pregnancy
00:03:48
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I have been
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here very sick and doing the absolute bare minimum I can with pass around the smile which has killed me because I am a person who likes to go go go I have
00:04:03
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Lots of goals. I like to work passionately hard. I like to do all of the exciting things and always be moving forward. So the last few months have been so, so challenging for me. And this episode today is literally, there's no plan. This is just going to be a chitchat episode where I let you know what I've been going through and my experience. And you do not have to be
00:04:26
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pregnant or a mum to listen to this episode. This episode is for absolutely everyone. Yes, I'm going to be talking about my kind of pregnancy journey so far, but what I've learned in my pregnancy journey so far is how, gosh, I've learned so much and so much of that doesn't just relate to pregnancy, it relates to other things in life. So I think that anyone listening is going to be able to take lots of things away from this episode.
00:04:55
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I know I'm going to be so nervous to share this episode because it's one of those ones like episode two where I am just being very vulnerable and very open. It's been a really, really hard few months. And yeah, it feels like nerve wracking to kind of share my experience, especially when it has been such a hard one. And I do just want to say at the start, a little disclaimer, I never have any hate in the past around the smile.
00:05:21
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world and community which is just so refreshing and so beautiful especially coming from an industry like the film and television industry but I do just want to say that I am sharing my experience this is just what I have experienced I'm not saying that it's right or wrong I'm not saying that it has been better or worse than anyone else's experience I know that people have had it far worse I know that people have had it far better and I also know that
00:05:50
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there might be people listening here who so badly want to feel pregnancy sickness because it means that they're pregnant. I know that there are a lot of people out there who are struggling to get pregnant so I do just want to acknowledge that that I am just telling my story and I just want to I just want you all to know that yeah I'm being as sensitive as I can as I share this episode but I am just sharing my experience and I hope that through my experience I can help you guys in many different areas in your life whether it is through
00:06:19
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you know pregnancy or starting a family but also through you know family, friends, work, career, manifestation and please know this podcast is not going to turn into a pregnancy podcast or a motherhood podcast. I'm sure there might be elements coming in here and there as my life is changing but it is still going to remain.
00:06:38
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very much the same. But yeah, let's get into this crazy, crazy journey.
Belief in Signs and Pregnancy Prediction
00:06:44
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So it has been, I'm nearly 15. When, when this episode comes out, I'll be 15 weeks pregnant. No, 14. Shit. Oh, I just said shit. I don't think I've ever said shit on the podcast. I'm just going to leave it because, you know, we're just here for a chit chat. Um,
00:07:03
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I think I'll be 15 weeks. Yeah, I'm 14 weeks now. So I'll be 15 weeks when this podcast comes out on the weekend. So I found out I was pregnant when I was about two to three weeks. So it was really, really early. And we were very excited to be honest, a bit overwhelmed because you know, it's a huge, big change. Luke and I were planning this. We wanted this. So we were very lucky to fall pregnant when we wanted.
00:07:32
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The thing that I've been most excited to share with my Fast Around the Smile community is what my New Year card spread said. And so some of you will know what a New Year card spread is, some of you won't. So for those of you who don't, in that week between Christmas and New Year, I like to do what I call a New Year card spread where I get all of my card decks and I do a little ritual, you know, I like candles, I put music on, I make it all nice, I journal about the year, I journal about what I want to bring in and then
00:08:02
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through January to December for the next year, I'll pull cards, write them down, date them. And they honestly are so accurate usually to what is coming up in the year for me. So I definitely urge you guys to do that this year as the year comes to an end. I get so excited every year to do it. And I knew, I knew in December of 2022, just before new years, when I pulled these cards,
00:08:29
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I knew exactly what was coming and it was a baby, it was pregnancy. And again, this is just my journey. These cards can mean many different things, but this was on my path. It's what I wanted and it was so clear. So I'm gonna start with April because January to March isn't really relevant to this episode. So April, I pulled two cards. I pulled the card Yes and I pulled the card Flow.
00:08:56
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And in April, I started tracking my flow. I know this might be TMI for this podcast, but I'm sure you all get it. And the yes card is obviously just such a positive. It's like, yes, the timing is right. We started talking about it. Well, we were talking about it a long time before that, but this is when we started really talking about it.
00:09:15
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wasn't such a future, future thing, like when we have babies or when we start to try and fall pregnant, whatever, it was, it was happening. It was like, all right, let's start tracking my flow. And the fact that I pulled out a card that is flow, like, and obviously the card flow means like flowing with life. It's a beautiful kind of stream. But this is what I mean by doing your new year card spread. It will mean different things to you. And this is exactly what it meant for me.
Experiencing Pregnancy Sickness
00:09:43
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and then May was loving friendships which kind of like was unrelated but you know just it it worked as well and then June was perfect timing and that was when we like I guess that was like my last period and then July was have unwavering faith
00:10:04
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That's when we found out that we were having a baby. And then August is you are glowing. Now, it's pretty funny because I was not glowing. I'm still not glowing, still patiently waiting for the glowing part to come in. But we all know that you are glowing is like a statement that you use with pregnancy. And August was when I was really in the crux of trimester one and going through pregnancy.
00:10:30
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And then I won't worry about the rest of the year until my December card, because my December card, I'm really, I'm so looking forward to and I'm so glad that it is this card. It's connected. And I will kind of come back to why this is so important to me in this podcast. But in short, I don't yet feel completely connected to my baby yet. And that kind of makes me feel a little bit sad.
00:10:56
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but I think it's because I've been so sick. And having that for my December card just reminds me that it will come in divine timing and I just need to trust and not make myself feel guilty for something I'm not feeling. But we'll get into that. But how crazy. So we had literally yes and flow, perfect timing, have unwavering faith and you are glowing. Like,
00:11:21
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Wow. And I just knew, I knew when I pulled these cards in December.
00:11:27
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exactly what that meant. Like I knew when I just had this deep gut feeling of when we were going to fall pregnant. And again, I don't want this to sound naive to anyone out there who is trying, you know, so hard to get pregnant. Maybe it hasn't happened for a good few years or something like that. I don't want to seem like really naive and like, oh, it just happened for us. But I guess this was just my journey. This is just how it happened. And we did feel so, so grateful, but I'm also going to be really honest.
00:11:56
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in this episode and tell you that that gratitude quickly melted away with how I was feeling. So I may as well just get straight into it.
00:12:06
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Oh, I should also say with my new Oracle card deck, I kept pulling the maternal card. And you might've seen on my pass around a smile Instagram, I use that for like my little reveal video, but literally I kept pulling it maternal, maternal, maternal over and over again. It's just so crazy that when the universe wants to send us a sign, it'll send us a sign. So we had about 10 days where only Luke and I knew about the positive pregnancy test result. And we,
00:12:34
Speaker
were waiting for my dad's birthday and my mother-in-law's birthday to tell the family and in that 10 days I felt a little bit nauseous but it was okay. I mean at the time I thought I felt so nauseous like I was like oh my god this is like quite hard. I was like kind of struggling to eat but I still could eat but we were hiding it from the family so I think it was
00:12:57
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I don't know I just kind of put it to the back of my mind whatever. So 10 days went by we told our family it was so beautiful and so lovely even though I felt so sick I couldn't really enjoy it which was disappointing but that's okay. It was then the Saturday of Luke's birthday and Luke and I went out to dinner and that was when the sickness I just I guess really really started and
00:13:23
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we were at like my favorite Italian restaurant and I just couldn't eat and I am the biggest foodie. Like I get so much enjoyment out of food. Even when I had a tummy bug when I was a kid, I would still be eating. Like nothing has ever stopped me from eating until pregnancy. Um, so that's kind of when it all started. So from that day to, I'm going to say it was like six to eight weeks after that, I was almost bedridden.
Mental Health and Mindfulness During Pregnancy
00:13:51
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Like,
00:13:52
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Oh, I can't. It actually kind of pains me to talk about it because it was such an awful time. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. I was on pretty heavy duty medication that was safe to be on in pregnancy.
00:14:12
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Lost six kilos. I wasn't getting enjoyment out of anything. Like even things like a hot shower, nothing felt good. My skin hurt getting into bed. The bed sheets felt awful. I was dreading every single day and
00:14:33
Speaker
Oh my gosh, I didn't think I'd get emotional. But it was really, really hard. I was like a shell of myself. Like I didn't...
00:14:45
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know what it was that would make me happy. I felt extremely guilty that I wasn't feeling like 100% grateful for this pregnancy because this baby I guess was sucking the life out of me and I had nothing left. Like I was
00:15:06
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I was literally like, you know, I just, I couldn't do anything. I was canceling plans. I wasn't, I couldn't work. I would come to mum and dads to try and do some work and I'd just end up in their bed all day. And I guess I am normally such a positive person. I love being optimistic. I love, as I mentioned, working as well and working hard. And I'm a big social socialite. I love being out and social and I couldn't do any of that.
00:15:35
Speaker
And again, I know people have had it so much worse. Oh my gosh, a couple of my friends had hyperamesis for the whole nine months. And like, oh my gosh, I just don't even know how they did it. Like they are superheroes. You just don't understand how hard it can be until you are in it. And I also don't want this to like, if there are women out there who are really excited to get pregnant and who can't wait,
00:15:59
Speaker
You might not get any sickness at all and you might have the most beautiful pregnancy and I hope that you do But I also I went into pregnancy pretty naive to be honest. I thought oh my god, I'm gonna be glowing I'm gonna look so good, but in reality I was gagging at everything. I would open the fridge gag. I would brush my teeth gag I
00:16:22
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It would smell literally anything, gag. I hated pasta, my favorite food, gag. I hated chocolate, my other favorite food, gag. Literally everything I loved, I couldn't eat, I couldn't do. And it was, yeah, it was just really, really crazy and really hard. I think the hardest bit for me was not knowing when it was gonna end and thinking that I was gonna be this sick for nine months.
00:16:48
Speaker
And I was so sick that I didn't have the energy to care about anything. And I think that's what really started to get me down. I couldn't, I didn't even care enough to go and see my psychologist and I should have.
00:17:04
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I saw my psychologist a couple of weeks ago now that I'm feeling a little bit better and she was like, I wish you would have come like, you know, or just FaceTimed me or like did a, you know, a consult over Zoom. And I was like, I know, but I just, I couldn't like, I cared so little about everything. It, it like hurt to care so little, but I can't explain it. I guess I really was quite,
00:17:31
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depressed there for like six to eight weeks. And my psychologist did say that it sounded like that. And while I am really, really proud that we've passed around a smile, I always say like, you know, with the whole positive mantras or meditation or journaling, like sometimes it's too far of a reach to be.
00:17:49
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mindful or grateful and I am proud that I've always said that like if you were going through some real hard times but I do now have even a deeper understanding of the depths of how crap you really can feel and how hard it is to get out of that so I do have a deeper understanding of that now which I think is a lesson that the universe has brought me that I can bring to pass around the smile
00:18:17
Speaker
But I will say that when I did make an effort to do something mindful, whether it was meditation, journaling, a card pull, mantras, put on a positive song, it really would help.
00:18:34
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I tell you what, it was so hard to do any of those things. For so long I didn't meditate, journal, do anything remotely spiritual or mindful. I was literally lying on the couch, lying on my bed. Even if I was watching a comedy, I wasn't laughing. It was just like nothing was going in, nothing felt good, nothing felt
00:18:56
Speaker
actually things did feel bad but yeah nothing nothing gave me enjoyment and I know that they are all signs of you know depression and yeah just feeling really really low but what started to help me was the power of mantras now the mantra that really worked for me and again this can help you no matter what you were going through is the one step at a time is enough and
00:19:26
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then you might be able to move to one day at a time. But for me, it was literally one minute at a time to get through is enough because I was constantly, like I was in fetal position in so much pain, like trying not to vomit, but then like, oh, I can't even.
00:19:43
Speaker
it like makes me feel triggered thinking about it um but yeah so mantras and this for me it was one step at a time is enough and i tell you what what it did to my nervous system when i would say that to myself in my mind was pretty crazy and i could feel the difference i could feel my body calming i could feel the tiniest bit of optimism coming in and that's all i needed and i got
00:20:12
Speaker
comfortable with allowing that to be the bare minimum, if that makes sense. Because obviously, old Cleo, I would be saying really, really powerful mantras and going out and manifesting my dreams and whatever. But right now, all that I could do was say that one step is enough and all that that would bring me was the tiniest bit of calm. And for me, I had to be grateful for that. And then I would start to grow on that. And I am talking like the tiniest bits of growth here.
00:20:41
Speaker
I wasn't doing anything astronomical. I was doing the tiniest things. Like, for example, when I would take my medication, right? Well, I was on medication for weeks that wasn't really working, and then my obstetrician changed me on to some other medication that started working a little bit.
Recovery Through Mantras and Small Steps
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Like,
00:21:00
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I'm talking I could sit up and watch a movie instead of like lying down and watching a movie and not even really watching the movie. But when I felt that tiny shift of feeling a tiny bit better, I was like, OK, I'm going to grab on to this tiny glimmer of hope and I am going to say my mantra.
00:21:23
Speaker
So I'd say my mantra, okay, one step at a time is enough. Then when I would feel that tiny little bit of optimism, what I would do is I had this meditation I found for morning sickness. Also, who named it morning sickness when it is 24 seven sickness? Like who did that?
00:21:41
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Who was that? So I would then play this meditation and I wouldn't do the meditation. Like I wouldn't sit up and be really like I wouldn't be concentrating on the woman's voice or anything. I would just play it in the background as I would sleep.
00:21:58
Speaker
on repeat or I would play it in the background as I was playing Candy Crush on my phone or whatever it was. Another thing that now I can't even think about playing Candy Crush because it just takes me back to that time. Oh my gosh, I'm sure that'll get better with time and I'll be able to play Candy Crush again one day but maybe not, maybe never. But what I'm saying is I took these tiny, tiny little steps that made me feel a little bit better
00:22:24
Speaker
even though I didn't want to and even though I was feeling so low and so awful, it actually really did make a difference. So I guess I'm in two minds here. I want to say that I do now have a deeper understanding of when you really are in the depths of something you can't
00:22:43
Speaker
I always knew you couldn't just turn your positivity on. And again, like I said, I'm really proud that I have always said, if you are going through something real, if you're going through something really negative, do not push yourself to positivity. That is toxic positivity. I've always said that. So proud. But I now have a deeper understanding of how you really, really can't push it. But on the other hand, you can push it a little bit, just a little bit.
00:23:10
Speaker
to give yourself a little bit of relief, a little bit of optimism. And that's what I did and it really did help. And I guess too, I haven't gone too much into the study behind your mind and the science behind your mind with health, but there is so much science and so many amazing studies of how you can create your stresses and your anxiety and your thoughts can manifest in sickness.
00:23:40
Speaker
Again, I don't know too much about it, but I know it is real and I know that when I would start to change my thoughts, my brain patterns and my, you know, brain stems or however they call it, the chemicals, would release better chemicals into my body and it would make me feel better.
00:23:57
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a little bit in different ways. Anyway, I'm not all over that but I do believe in that and I could kind of like feel that happening in little ways for me. And also I did just want to say I am not putting this episode out for sympathy. I have a really healthy baby in my belly. Me and Luke are so excited about this baby.
00:24:18
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It has all in all, yeah, been a good pregnancy because I have a healthy baby. But I just, yeah, I want this story to be helpful in some ways to some people. And I am feeling much better. I am definitely not myself. I am a very different version of myself and I am still struggling to come to terms with that, I guess. I am not 100% well. I still struggle to eat. I still struggle to go out and be social.
00:24:48
Speaker
and taking so many breaks in this podcast because I can't catch my breath or I think of something and I still get like a little gag reflex in my mouth. But I am like worlds, worlds, worlds better than I was. Another thing I wanted to talk about is why we tend to suffer in silence.
Importance of Sharing and Communication
00:25:06
Speaker
Now, again, this doesn't just go for pregnancy. This goes for anything that you are going through. I guess it comes from not wanting to be a burden to other people, not wanting to bring negativity to
00:25:17
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other people or a positive space or bring others down, whatever it is, not wanting to whinge or have like a, you know, a wow-wow about our problems because, you know, we might have a great life, but this one part of our life is really bringing us down at the moment and we think, oh, we shouldn't worry about that or we shouldn't talk about that.
00:25:37
Speaker
Now, I guess this relates to my last episode where we were talking about letting it out is please don't suffer in silence. Please talk to whoever you can about what you were going through because it really does decrease the severity and it really does open up conversations.
00:25:53
Speaker
What I've found now that I have been pregnant and sick is I've talked to so many friends and not friends as well, just kind of people I know on social media or, you know, about their first trimesters. And I have realized now that so many women had hard first trimesters.
00:26:12
Speaker
but you know what a lot of them said to me was that they had this mentality that they just had to get on with it because they're growing a child their child is healthy so they just gotta they've just got to get on with how they're feeling and i'm so lucky to have an obstetrician who really makes me feel heard as a person and not just kind of like a vessel i guess for my baby and it's not all about the baby she really cares about my
00:26:36
Speaker
health and mental health as well which has made all of the difference i'm so thankful for her um but i know other women haven't had that experience and that just makes me really really sad and i kind of want to like raise a bit more awareness to talk openly about how you were feeling again with everything but i know with pregnancy it's like this big oh hush hush until it's safe but there are trusted people around you that you know you can tell early so that you have people to talk to because not only
00:27:06
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Is it overwhelming and you're going through probably the biggest change that you will go through? It can be like really lonely and really isolating in the weirdest
Acceptance and Trusting Life's Process
00:27:17
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way and you probably won't even understand it until you've been through it because I didn't. And I also felt really guilty, especially for my friends who had hyperamesis.
00:27:26
Speaker
that I wasn't there for them in a way that I needed to be because I now kind of had this understanding of what they went through and I guess the thing is of course you just you just don't understand yet until you learn that and that's okay and that's just a part of life and what I've also felt is this guilt that I talk about a lot on pass around a smile we as humans feel guilty for so many things that we shouldn't and I have really had to become okay with
00:27:55
Speaker
letting the guilt go of not being, you know, I want, I guess when I imagined being pregnant, I imagined meditating and being so connected to my baby and saying my thank yous every day and feeling it from the bottom of my heart and glowing and enjoying every minute of it and being really present and I have been none of those things. I have been absolutely none of those things and
00:28:24
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I think it's important as the owner of Pass Around the Smile to be honest about that. I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I am this like spiritual mama-to-be who is just so in tune because I have not been. And the sickness absolutely took a lot of that away from me. But yeah, I started to feel really guilty.
00:28:45
Speaker
for all of that but then i reminded myself that i am literally doing the best that i can and i am growing a human and i have so many amazing family and friends that would remind me of this when i was feeling really down um but yeah and that that is enough one day at a time you know just the the positive mantra is coming back in
00:29:06
Speaker
coming back to my yearly spread. That's why I am so relieved that my card for December is connected because I know that my connection is coming. I know that my time will come where I am in alignment and I am feeling connected with my baby and my body again, because right now I feel quite separate to myself. And that's a really weird feeling for me because I have always been really in tune with who I am, with what I want, with how I feel and
00:29:33
Speaker
all of a sudden I'm not and I guess I feel a bit more pressure than maybe other people because of what I do with Pass Around the Smile. I'm here to guide and inspire people to be connected with themselves and in tune and in alignment and right now I'm not but I think the best way that I can serve you guys is to be honest and
00:29:56
Speaker
What I'm trying to remind myself is that the law of rhythm takes us up and down, in and out, just like the waves in the ocean. And I'm trusting that I am going through a season right now. That season might be on the lower scale, but it's got to come back up again. And I'm now, now that I am feeling a little bit more healthy and I am able to journal a little bit more, I'm doing my gratitudes every day as a part of our little exercise challenge that we're all doing together.
00:30:25
Speaker
Now that I am feeling a little bit better, I am able to be a little bit more optimistic about that. But yeah, it's been so hard. Oh my gosh. Back to talking about our problems. I'm not saying that, you know, whatever you're going through that we have to kick and scream and winge and say it's unfair. All I'm saying is that
00:30:49
Speaker
you are allowed to let it out and you are allowed to speak how you are feeling and by bottling it in and holding it in and thinking that you have to suffer in silence is not the right way to do it. Let it out to people that you trust.
00:31:04
Speaker
and be honest and open and vulnerable. Being vulnerable is so so scary but it opens up so many different doors whether it's a friendship door. Maybe you had a friendship that was kind of you know fizzling a little bit but all that friendship needed was a little bit of vulnerability and a little bit more openness or maybe it was at work your boss was wondering why you're not performing well and
00:31:29
Speaker
You know, you let your boss that you're you let your boss know that you're going through this hard time with your family or with your mental health or whatever it is. And then all of a sudden the doors of communication are open and things are flowing again. So some really good things can come out of talking about your feelings and you are not a burden. You can let it out. You're not a whinger. You can let it out. What I've also learned during this time is that the world doesn't stop.
00:31:58
Speaker
when we stop. It's such a good feeling to gain that momentum, whether that momentum is with, you know, your work life, your career life, your friendships, your social life, your dating life, maybe your, you know,
00:32:13
Speaker
going on all of these really positive dates and you're feeling really optimistic about your future love life or at work you're you know getting the raises and you're getting these opportunities it can feel so good to gain momentum but the law of rhythm again i'm bringing in here the law of rhythm takes us up and down and that is normal so getting comfortable in the flow of life it can be hard to get comfortable when you are not comfortable i was not comfortable for that
00:32:42
Speaker
six to eight weeks where I was so so sick I was not comfortable but what I had to work toward instead was acceptance because as the more I resisted how I was feeling and resented the symptoms and what was happening to me physically and emotionally the worse it got so I was working toward acceptance
00:33:05
Speaker
and letting go of that resistance. But what happens is when we stop, so let's say that you have had an altercation with a friend and you need to take a few days off work because you're so anxious. Or let's say that you just burn out because you've been working too much and you have to take a week off work.
00:33:23
Speaker
or let's say that you are a mum and you come down with this terrible sickness and you just have to get babysitters or whatever it is. For me, it was six to eight weeks of doing the absolute bare minimum with my business, which was once my whole life. And it's really, really hard to stop and trust that everything is just going to keep going, but it does. And what I have learned is that
00:33:48
Speaker
through stillness and through stepping back and through just allowing and trusting that things will be okay the better it actually is like even better than if it were you in the situation gaining the momentum doing the things
00:34:06
Speaker
Grabbing your goals, you know, whatever it is to be honest for the first couple of weeks where I wasn't working and wasn't doing much I was Stressing and I might have some of my community because you guys know me so well I love it being like you only had three weeks off the podcast, but that's because I had pre-recorded episodes I actually had a lot longer off the podcast but yeah the behind the scenes of pass around the smile literally stopped I
00:34:31
Speaker
couldn't hardly do anything. Luckily, I had my mum to pack orders for me, but I really struggled to trust that everything would keep going. I thought that my business was just going to completely stop forever, that I was doomed, that the business was doomed, that all my hard work was just going to come completely crashing down.
00:34:52
Speaker
It's funny, the response that the universe had in those two weeks was similar to the vibrations that I was feeling of lack and of distrust. But then as I moved into the third week of sickness and I had no choice but just to let go and trust and surrender, everything turned around. The craziest thing happened. I think my business in the last few months has gained more momentum and more success
00:35:20
Speaker
than it ever has when I was working in the business at 100%. And I think what happened was the universe was actually rewarding me for finally letting go and trusting that the world is going to keep going and that the people who need to find my products and my podcasts
00:35:37
Speaker
and my site just would and they did and opportunities were still coming yes it was hard because I had to say no to a lot of opportunities because I couldn't go out I couldn't do speaking gigs or whatever but there was like this feeling of support and trust from my higher powers that came down when I finally stopped resisting
00:35:59
Speaker
and I let go and I trusted that everything was going to be okay. So a reminder when you need to take a few days out or maybe it's a few months, whatever it is, the world is not going to stop and you get to choose how you see it. Again, when you are in the depths of something really crappy, you can't just choose to see through positivity. However, you can choose little steps to have a better thought each thought. And that's kind of what I did so, so slowly.
00:36:28
Speaker
I think the lesson for me was that you should never force things. And I did try and force things when I was really sick. I was still trying to write emails and I was still trying to create documents or whatever it was that I was trying to do for next projects.
00:36:45
Speaker
It just wasn't working and I was just hitting roadblock, roadblock, roadblock. And when I finally just trusted that it's safe to let go and that my previous hard work would flow over and that my higher powers had my back, they absolutely did. And it was better than I could have
00:37:03
Speaker
ever imagined. And I think that's so comforting to know for the future where we have fears that, you know, and this can go for good things too. If you need to take a holiday, if, you know, you need to take a step back for something for a party or whatever it is, taking that step back and still be really positive if you surrender and if you trust
00:37:27
Speaker
You might be surprised that your business, your friendships, your relationships, whatever bloom and flourish more than they do when you are actually in it.
00:37:39
Speaker
trying to make it happen. So giving up that forceful control and just letting life flow with you depending on what you're going through, good or bad, it all comes back to trusting the process and that's what I have really learnt here. I mean I have learnt so much through this time and I remember being so sick and knowing that the universe was teaching me all these lessons but I was just so grumpy and so
00:38:05
Speaker
defeated and depleted as well that I was just like universe I don't care like I don't
Gratitude and Community Support
00:38:11
Speaker
want to learn these lessons right now like this is terrible like I have never felt worse in my life but yeah here I am telling the tale I think I don't know I don't this is one of those episodes where I like I said I'm gonna be nervous to post I've said um I've said ah I've stumbled I've
00:38:29
Speaker
I don't even know if any of this makes sense, I don't know how you are going to take it as my community but I love you guys and you're so supportive so I know that you're gonna be amazing but please let me know that you know if this resonated with you at all to do with pregnancy or not to do with pregnancy I really hope that this episode could help you with other things as well but yeah what a crazy journey that's where I've been
00:38:54
Speaker
That's why my energy hasn't been all around pass around the smile but maybe you still felt the energy from pass around the smile because the universe was absolutely picking it up for me when I wasn't there which was really magical and so so cool.
00:39:07
Speaker
But yeah, thank you. I might just stop it there. I'm sure there's going to be lots of little bits and pieces that come out in the future through Pass Around the Smile episodes. But yeah, I think that'll do for now. Thank you so much for listening. Reach out, join the community, and if A Guide to Happiness is calling you, it is
00:39:28
Speaker
$222, $222 for this week only and you save $78, which is very exciting. I love the course, so proud of it. But I hope you all have an amazing day. Let's trust the process. Let's go easy on ourselves and let's talk about what we are going through and help ourselves by doing so.