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Q&A ~ Regret, Overthinking, Anxiety & Blocks When Manifesting
4.4k Plays2 years ago
This episode is a Q&A ep where I answer some of your questions asked in the Facebook community group. (If you would like to join this group, the link is below.)
We cover questions around:
- Regret
- Self sabotaging and overthinking your manifestations
- Anxiety
- Past trauma and limiting beliefs when it comes to manifestation
- Protecting yourself from negativity
I hope you enjoy!
View my website here! (My very own oracle cards, journals, meditations + more magical stuff available!)
Join my Facebook community group here!
Find me on Instagram here! @passaroundthesmile @cleomassey
The Pass Around the Smile podcast is recorded on Bundjalung Country, in South East Queensland, Australia. We acknowledge the Yugambeh people of the Bundjalung Nation, the traditional owners of this land. We pay our respects to Elders past, present and emerging.
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Pass Around the Smile'
00:00:03
Speaker
Pass Around the Smile is like your go-to friend, the one that lifts you up and backs you to the end. She's there to guide and inspire, challenge and teach, and remind you that your best self isn't out of reach. Self-development, manifestation, self-love and more, it's time to trust the process more than ever before. Welcome to Pass Around the Smile, the podcast. I'm your host, Cleo Massey, and I am so glad you're here. Let the magic begin.
00:00:33
Speaker
Hello and welcome back to the Pass Around the Smile podcast.
Q&A Episode Introduction
00:00:37
Speaker
Today I have a Q&A episode for you. In my Facebook Pass Around the Smile community I ask you guys to ask me questions. I think I'm answering most of them. I have kind of combined a couple of them that were similar.
00:00:49
Speaker
if i've missed your question i'm so sorry um please like let me know if i've missed your question because i will message you and i will answer it um but i you know i just had to pick what i could for this episode i'm excited about it though because it's always really nice to hear what you guys want and need to know same deal as last time guys i have to leave the fan on because it's so hot
00:01:14
Speaker
So if you can hear it in the background and it sounds unprofessional, I'm sorry, but I swear I'm professional. I like these to sound crisp and good. So I hope it still sounds really good in your ears.
Handling Regret and Moving Forward
00:01:24
Speaker
Let's start on Tina's question. She actually asked me this ages ago. So Tina, if you're listening, I hope you're happy I'm answering this even though it has been a while. So you wanted me to answer a question on regret, ruminating on past decisions and wishing that you could go back in time and redo. This is totally normal.
00:01:47
Speaker
a start. So I hope that you know that you're not the only person feeling this. The thing is we have to free ourselves to move forward if that's what we want and that can be uncomfortable because that's where the work has to be done. It's all well and good for me to say, you know, oh you're wasting your energy on worrying about these past decisions or
00:02:09
Speaker
you know past things that have happened in the past that you want to change because you can't change them now it's all well and good for me to say that we know that we're wasting our energy we know that we're blocking good things from happening by ruminating on past decisions or wishing we could redo we know that but the thing is is
00:02:24
Speaker
How do you just move forward? How do we free ourselves to move forward from what has happened to us in the past? And from that, you know, those moments when you wake up in the middle of the night thinking about these random past memories that you wish you could redo, you wish you could do differently. How do we actually free ourselves to move forward? I believe it's through acceptance. There is no changing the past. So,
00:02:49
Speaker
You have a choice, you can either ruminate over what could or should have been, get yourself into tears, feel anxious, probably block your manifestations in the process, create fake scenarios in your head, have fake fights in the shower, whatever it is.
00:03:05
Speaker
or you can focus your attention forward and we know what is going to benefit ourselves more but focusing on moving forward is hard especially if we feel like we've been wronged or especially if we can actually see what we have done wrong in the past where we're like oh god i wish i just said or did this
00:03:26
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I know this can be hard to hear depending on what you were going through, but we do have a choice to focus on the good. We do have a choice to focus on what is working. We do have a choice to look around and see who is supporting us versus who's not supporting us. We have a choice to look at what we do have rather than what we don't have. We have a choice to look back on our day and think, Oh my gosh, I had that beautiful meal. I got a pay rise and
00:03:52
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the sky was so blue today, or we have a choice to focus on the fact that it was raining and we didn't get a pay rise and whatever. I know I just contradicted myself, but you know what I mean. We have a choice to focus on what is working or what is not working and focusing on what you do have and what is working is going to help you move through acceptance. And I think when you are not ready to forgive or completely forget, cause let's be real, sometimes we cannot completely forget.
00:04:22
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Work on acceptance. Can you accept that what has happened has happened, but do you honor yourself enough and do you want your dreams and your manifestations to materialize enough to let them go so you can free yourself to move forward?
00:04:37
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In times like these where I'm kind of looking back in the past and getting really frustrated and anxious and tight, and I guess it's kind of that claustrophobic feeling we get, hey, where it's like, we know there's no changing it, yet we're ruminating over and over in our head of how we could possibly change it. And sometimes we might try and change something that happened so long ago and make it bigger or make it worse.
00:05:01
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But a quote I like to remind myself of is, you never know what worse luck your bad luck saved you from. It kind of changes your way of thinking. For me anyway, it puts me in a more grateful headspace where I kind of just for a second imagine, oh, like it actually could have been much worse than that bad thing that happened to me two years ago, two months ago, two weeks ago. If that hadn't happened, maybe something worse would have happened. And even though that felt really yucky and that was really awful,
00:05:30
Speaker
you just never know what else could have unfolded. It just kind of helps me think about it in a different way. So hopefully that can help you as well. Again, I don't know your situation. So, you know, I don't wanna come across insensitive if something really, really huge that you're going through, but hopefully what I've said has kind of helped a little
Overthinking in Manifestation
00:05:50
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bit. Okay, Benny's question is, how can I stop overthinking my manifestation? I'm almost superstitious about it sometimes and I feel too in my head and self-sabotaging.
00:06:01
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Uh-huh. So I would say, first of all, go back and listen to my self-sabotaging episode. It's so normal to overthink something that you want so bad. And that is why in the manifestation process, it is hard to surrender. It's hard to let go of that control because we want it so bad. So what I would recommend that you do, Benny, is that you practice with something that you see as small, as easy to achieve. So let's say it's a $5 note or it's
00:06:29
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you know, a picture of a unicorn or whatever it is that you want. I would practice using the law of attraction with something like that.
00:06:37
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Then when it is bought into your life, once, twice, five times, and it's really clear to you that you have attracted that specific thing, you know that you have the power to attract whatever it is that you want. But what you find out about yourself and your manifestation process specifically to you then is that maybe that dream, that manifestation that you are setting
00:06:59
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is too far away from you right now you don't believe that you're good enough those self-sabotaging kind of thoughts are coming in and are blocking you from letting go which i know is essentially what you're saying but if you can practice with something small and show yourself how powerful and how easy it actually can be
00:07:17
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then, you know, make a bigger goal. Get bigger again, bigger and bigger again until you get to that manifestation where you are feeling blocked. With your current manifestation that you are overthinking on as well, something that you can do is detach yourself from that by thinking of even better scenarios that could occur.
00:07:39
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I've talked about this in a couple of episodes prior where we often get stuck on something that we think is perfect and amazing and incredible for us, and sure it might be, but you actually might be blocking yourself from attracting something so much better, so much more right for your future self.
00:08:01
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Think about it in that way as well when you do kind of practice those little things and get to the point of being like, you know what, no, I am good enough. I know that this big manifestation is only big in my head and I'm the only one perceiving it to be big. Therefore, I can manifest it effortlessly like I manifested the other things effortlessly.
00:08:18
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When you get to that point, that's where I would try and detach yourself even more and go, oh, this could actually happen. Oh my gosh. And then this could actually happen as well. So I accept this or something better. And it just gets you feeling in that good frequency. It has you open to more possibilities and it has you feeling really excited to see what is to come. And just directly relating back to your question, how you were saying the problem really is that you're overthinking your manifestation, which we all do.
00:08:47
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What this does is it actually kind of distracts you with other good things and doesn't allow so much free time, free space in your head to fixate on that one outcome.
00:09:01
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So I think this will really help you detach from the outcome and stop overthinking because you know that there could be other things that are better and other possibilities that are waiting for you, which align even more perfectly. So it will actually stop that overthinking while also be feeling really, really good for you.
Anxiety's Impact on Manifestation
00:09:21
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Okay, so I'm merging Shay and Deanna's question. Shay's question was, I really struggle to manifest as my anxiety overrides this and tells me it's never going to work. This will be bad. You can't have this. You're dreaming too wide. Often I try and ground myself and look for signs, but my negative mind frame just clouds me. It makes me want to throw in my hard work of manifesting. And Deanna's question was how to deal with anxiety. So I've had a few panic attacks in my time and
00:09:51
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those panic attacks haven't happened since I stopped doing things that I didn't want to do.
00:09:58
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What I really realized, what I really realized was that I was forcing myself to do things that made me super duper uncomfortable. And I was forcing myself to do things because I thought it was gonna impress other people, because I thought it was meant for me. And that personally for me is what brought on my anxiety. So I want you to look at what you are trying to attract. Is it genuinely for you?
00:10:27
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Or are you doing it for other people? Are you doing it because society says to? And you might be thinking, well, yeah, Cleo, I need to make money to look after my family. Or like, it's looking after my kids that makes me feel anxious. Or maybe it's something external, like every time you turn the TV on or open up social media or someone external, like your boss or a certain person in your friend group who brings on this anxiety.
00:10:53
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there are still changes that you can make to protect yourself.
00:10:58
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There are a couple of questions coming up around the kind of bubble of protective energy, which will kind of feed into this question as well. On the days you are struggling with self-love and self-worth, remind yourself that by protecting yourself, you are actually protecting and inspiring and guiding the ones that you love the most. Shay, what I would also do is really look at the specific thoughts you were having. So you said, it's never going to work. This will be bad. You can't have this. You are dreaming too wide.
00:11:27
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So what I would do is go and write them in your journal and then reframe them. So contradict them, make it something positive instead and make a promise to yourself that when these thoughts come up, you replace them with the opposite, with the positive. Even if you don't quite believe it yet, you can make smaller ones and work up to it, but it is going to do you better than listening into that inner critic
00:11:51
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that is speaking to you, telling you that you can't do something because of course you can. And what we wanna remember too when these limiting beliefs and these fears are coming in, they are actually coming in to protect us. They have goodwill, they have good meaning behind them, but we then have a choice to listen to them as a fact or to think this is part of my 50 to 70,000 thoughts that I'm gonna have today.
00:12:17
Speaker
I have a choice to listen and believe it and let it wreck my day and get in the way of my manifestations. Or I have a choice to focus on what is working, to reframe that thought. Actually, this could work. This could be really good. I'm so excited to tell my family and friends when I get the good news. I'm so excited that when I get this news, I'm going to go and buy myself a pair of new shoes and just allow your thoughts to wander, wander, wander away
00:12:45
Speaker
from that initial fear-based thought because fear stands for false evidence appearing real. It is not real. It's there to try and protect you. But what it does is it holds us back. And sometimes those fears are valid. Sometimes we do need to listen to our gut and trust our intuition when something is wrong or something doesn't feel right. Like for example, I said that my anxiety only showed up when I was doing things that I didn't want to do.
00:13:11
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It was that second trip that I went to America and I did not have a good trip where I had an anxiety attack the week before I left because my gut was saying don't go. I didn't want to go. I was going for all of the wrong reasons.
00:13:27
Speaker
Yes, I learned so many things and you know, it was the third trip that was like amazing But that felt different. So really looking at your physical responses. What's your gut saying? What's your heart saying? Are you starting to get sweaty? Are you starting to feel sick in the tummy? Are you starting to get those anxious feelings when you think about a particular
00:13:49
Speaker
situation, a particular holiday, a particular person, a particular job. What's that saying? Is the fear valid? Because sometimes, like in my case, it was. I maybe shouldn't have gone for that long or I shouldn't have gone at all. I pushed it and I went and my anxiety stayed and it blocked my manifestations from materializing because I wasn't honoring myself by actually
00:14:14
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pulling apart the uncomfortable stuff and dealing with what was happening at the bottom to allow everything to kind of feel a little bit better and unfold a little more in my direction, in my right flow for me. I hope that makes sense. Okay, so Natasha and Mishy's question, I'm kind of...
00:14:34
Speaker
Combining again, Mishie asks, feeling worthy of your manifestations and not letting others burst your bubble. And Natasha's is, your advice in the Manifest Magic course about creating a bubble and not letting others affect you while in your space, that was great advice. My question is, what is the difference between having this amazing bubble and putting up walls? Something in me keeps saying they are the same thing, even though they're not. Some further explanation on this, if you can fit it in. I can fit it in, Natasha.
00:15:04
Speaker
So first of all, Mishi, I think you're kind of talking a little bit more on when you're feeling really good and you're feeling worthy and you're feeling amazing of manifesting these desires and then someone kind of comes along and says something negative about the law of attraction or manifestation or maybe how hard your dream is.
00:15:22
Speaker
going to be to get because it might take years or it takes lots of money or you need to do this for that or I tried that and it didn't work. So with that, I would actually use the bubble analogy. So putting that bubble around you to protect your energy, to keep your good energy within your bubble and not let others energy come into your bubble as well. And what we can do is we can
00:15:48
Speaker
still listen, but not take it on. So I've been working really hard on still being like, you know, a good friend, a good sister, a good partner, whatever it is, you can still listen and be there, but it is your choice whether you let that kind of affect your energy or not. So seeing through empathy instead of sympathy is one, but really focusing on how do you want to feel
00:16:15
Speaker
And if you want to feel empowered and excited about these manifestations that you're creating and worthy, like you said in your question, well, then a lot of these things that the other people are saying that you feel are trying to burst your bubble, they're not going to be relevant for you right now. They're not needed. No, thank you. And you don't have a responsibility to take them on.
00:16:38
Speaker
And what they say isn't fact. Just as we have 50 to 70,000 thoughts a day, the person that is saying this to you, the person that is trying to burst your bubble, also has 50 to 70,000 thoughts a day. So they're just voicing one of those thoughts. It doesn't mean anything.
00:16:54
Speaker
So I think place little importance on what other people say to you, unless it really is like, you know, sometimes we really do need help or advice from other people and it really is actually a sign from the universe or your guides, but you will know when it's making you feel negative and pulling you out of that positive space, it's not
00:17:16
Speaker
serving you and that's when you need to honor yourself and say you can just say it to yourself like thank you I hear you but I'm choosing not to take that on. In my last episode with Kylie she also mentioned how important it is when putting a bubble around you to do it with intention.
00:17:33
Speaker
So let's say if you are going to meet up with a friend for coffee and you know that they have some really deep dark limiting beliefs around love life but you are manifesting a partner and you're in a really good spot in your dating life where you're open and you're feeling positive and you're visualizing and it all feels really good.
00:17:52
Speaker
what you can do is put a bubble of protection around you. And with that intention, you send her love, you want to give her love outside of your bubble, but you want to keep all of your good kind of feelings in your bubble as well. And the intention that you would set around that is one of love, really. It's an intention of love, it's an intention of protection, and really get that intention clear before you walk into that situation.
00:18:19
Speaker
Natasha, your question is quite powerful and I've had to think about it. So what's the difference between putting up a bubble of energy around you to protect you versus putting up walls? I think when we put up walls, we are so tightly holding onto resistance and what we think is right that we block things that are potentially meant for us. Be it advice and opportunity, a person, because we are almost like
00:18:49
Speaker
so sure of what is right or isn't right for us that we become like a big block. So I think when you're putting walls up
00:18:58
Speaker
It is fear, it's fear-based. And when we're putting a bubble around us, we are still open to suggestions and we're still open to listening and being a good friend and all of that. But we are creating this safe space where we get to choose whether or not we are going to take that on, whether or not we are going to let it affect our energy, whether or not we are going to let it change our mind or change the direction of our day.
00:19:23
Speaker
So I think the difference is that putting up walls is fear-based whereas putting a bubble of energy around you is protecting yourself and is honoring yourself. But we want to be careful that let's say when we do put that bubble around us that if something is said to us it doesn't mean that we have to like reject it and like bounce it off our ball of energy straight away. We're in this bubble and we have time to receive information, we have time to think about it,
00:19:53
Speaker
We have time to feel into whether or not it feels right for us. Whereas when our walls are up, we are just like, no, I'm not seeing that. I'm not doing that. It's not going to be good. Because we don't want to be, like I mentioned before, I was super duper uncomfortable for a long time in forcing myself to do things that weren't right for me, which was causing anxiety.
00:20:15
Speaker
We don't want to go that far but we also do need to put ourselves in uncomfortable situations which help us grow and help us achieve exciting things. Good things, good incredible amazing things don't really come out of comfort zones. So finding that balance I think is really important and remembering that when you have walls up you're going to feel negative. When your walls are up you're going to feel restricted.
00:20:42
Speaker
Two similar things with putting a bubble around us and having our walls up is that you will often be saying no and you'll often be creating boundaries. There is a really good and positive way to say no and set boundaries and there's a really negative way to say no and set boundaries where you are actually blocking yourself from
00:21:00
Speaker
success, from love, from opening up. So checking in with how you are feeling when you are setting boundaries or saying no or trying to protect yourself. Again, is it coming from a place of fear, of unknown, of anxiety? Or is it coming from a place of that doesn't serve me right now?
00:21:20
Speaker
I don't have the capacity for that right now. Thank you, but not today. You know, so really checking in with how you are feeling, if it's fear-based or if it's protective-based, I think that that is how they are different.
Trauma's Influence on Manifestation
00:21:34
Speaker
So Belinda, your question is, I often find it challenging to manifest my goals. Despite putting in the effort, some people suggest that manifestation might not be effective, especially if there's unresolved past trauma. Is there
00:21:49
Speaker
Is there validity to this claim? Wow, okay. Is there validity to this claim? I think that that claim actually is valid, Belinda, because if you have unresolved past trauma and you are trying to manifest something directly in that field that you experienced the trauma in, yes, I do believe that
00:22:18
Speaker
the manifestation won't be effective. So what we need to do is we need to go back to the start and that's what I'm really passionate about with pass around the smile is actually going back to what's not working and fixing it so we can free ourselves to move forward. Not just putting on a band-aid and going ask, believe, receive, it'll work. It will work with some things that you don't have attached trauma to, attached limiting beliefs to, attached fears to, sure.
00:22:45
Speaker
But we're human. We have all lived lives. We do have trauma. We do have limiting beliefs and fears. So I actually do believe that this is valid and that that past trauma does need to be resolved. And this past trauma might be huge, but I promise you, everything can be worked through.
00:23:05
Speaker
whether it's through a psychologist, through a spiritual healer, through some kinesiology, through some acupuncture, through your own journaling and meditation practices. Figure out exactly what your past trauma is. Figure out exactly what it is saying to you. Figure out that little inner critic, exactly what it is saying that makes you feel still attached to this past trauma.
00:23:31
Speaker
and then you can begin to release it. How do we release it through the same way it was formed? And if you're interested in going into this kind of stuff further, I do a lot of this in my Guide to Happiness four week online course on the really deep rooted limiting beliefs that are formed usually through a young age, through repetition and emotion. We have to swap them out, we have to cancel them out and we can do it. You're not attached even though it may feel like you are attached to this trauma.
00:23:59
Speaker
It often feels like it becomes a part of us, but it absolutely is not. It can be released, you can heal, you can move on. And the really exciting thing is, is that when we do heal that or when we do work through acceptance and start to free ourselves to move forward, things can change so quickly.
00:24:20
Speaker
Femke, I was wondering how you work around limiting beliefs and how you break through them. I sometimes really struggle with that and I don't know where to begin. I was hoping you could give some advice on what you do when you notice there is a limiting belief around an area in your life. So similar to what I just said, it's all about unseating that bad paradigm. What is a bad paradigm? A bad paradigm is a limiting belief that is stuck in your subconscious mind.
00:24:46
Speaker
When we have a limiting belief that's stuck in our subconscious mind, it does feel like it becomes a part of us and it repeats and it repeats, repeats. Wow, I can't talk today. It just repeats, guys, until it is rewritten and we can rewrite it. So Femke, get really clear on what are your limiting beliefs in the first place.
00:25:07
Speaker
Very often we'll go through life and we'll feel anxious, right? For example, and we'll be like, why do I feel anxious right now? Why am I sweating? Why am I feeling sick in the tummy? I can't actually identify why this is happening. It is likely that there is a limiting belief sitting in your subconscious mind that is kind of replaying as a playback machine that is making you feel this way.
00:25:30
Speaker
What is so powerful in self-development is actually understanding exactly what that limiting belief is that is making you feel anxious, or making you feel angry, or resentful, or jealous. Because that's when we start to unseat it, we start to change it. So really figure out exactly what your limiting beliefs are, exactly where your fears are sitting, what your inner critic is saying, and then we can actually face it, face on. Because remember, it's all just fear. And fear is false. Evidence appearing.
00:26:00
Speaker
real is trying to protect us sometimes it is valid sometimes more times than not it is not so yeah i might end that episode there today i know it was a little bit shorter than usual but i'm a little bit puffed as you can tell and my words are a little bit all over the place today i actually have been filming a little instagram reel today i'm unsure if i'll even put it up yet because it's quite
00:26:27
Speaker
quite a raw and vulnerable one I guess I just woke up feeling really awful I had an awful sleep I've been feeling sick I've been feeling anxious just with everything with pregnancy and
Personal Reflections and Community Support
00:26:40
Speaker
I decided to turn my day around and do little things
00:26:45
Speaker
actionable and reasonable steps and goals for me, that would make me feel better. And already I feel so much more accomplished for doing this podcast. If I just chose to lay in bed all day, which sometimes, you know, you need to do, you need to listen to your body, but today it was like, I know you can push yourself a little bit and do things to make yourself feel
00:27:05
Speaker
a little bit better. So you'll see by the time this episode goes live, if I put that reel up on Instagram, you can go have a look at it. But thank you guys so much for your support. Don't forget to join the community. You can post questions, thoughts, manifestations, your card readings in there. It's a really supportive community. The link is in the bio. Thanks again for being a listener of mine. I'm going to try and keep pumping out these episodes before this baby comes. But you guys are amazing and I
00:27:35
Speaker
Yeah. Love you all.