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Adversity as a Catalist for Change – a conversation with Amie Yaniak image

Adversity as a Catalist for Change – a conversation with Amie Yaniak

Rest and Recreation
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25 Plays24 days ago

Sometimes it takes a kick in the teeth for us to start living our best life.

Amie Yaniak has a successful career as a music therapist, until the COVID lockdown. Then Amie received a stage four cancer diagnosis.

That news was the catalyst for Amie to change her life for the better.

In this episode of the Abeceder work life balance podcast Rest and Recreation, Amie and host Michael Millward explore her wide-ranging experience and how she now lives a full and satisfying life while living with stage four cancer.

Why, they ask, does it take a kick in the teeth like a cancer diagnosis before we start living our best lives.

They examine the different ways in which friends, family and society in general puts barriers in our way that we perceive limit our life choices.

Amie explains how she is completing her bucket list activities, like acting in a film and recording an album of gospel music God's Amazing Grace...Music To Touch Your Heart

Discover more about Amie and Michael at Abeceder.co.uk

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Transcript

Introduction to Zencastr and Podcast Overview

00:00:05
Speaker
Made on Zencastr. Because Zencastr is the all-in-one podcasting platform that really does make making podcasts so easy.
00:00:15
Speaker
There is a link in the description. Hello and welcome to Rest and Recreation, the work-life balance podcast from Abysida, where we don't tell you what to think, but we are hoping to make you think.
00:00:31
Speaker
I am your host, Michael Millward. Today i am meeting music therapist, actress, happiness coach, entrepreneur, podcast host, Amy Jelik-Yaniak, who is the proud mom of singer, true Istina and actor John Yaniak.
00:00:49
Speaker
We will be discussing the therapeutic properties of music. Amy is based in Los Angeles, a place I have visited. If I ever get the chance to go again, i will be making my travel arrangements with the Ultimate Travel Club.
00:01:04
Speaker
because that is where I can access trade prices on flights, hotels, trains, package holidays and all sorts of other travel related purchases. You can also access those trade prices on travel by joining the Ultimate Travel Club.
00:01:19
Speaker
I have put a link in the description with a built-in discount. Now that I have paid some bills, it is time to make an episode of Rest and Recreation that will be well worth listening to, liking downloading and subscribing to, and also good enough to share with your friends, family and work colleagues as well.

Amy's Journey into Music Therapy

00:01:42
Speaker
Now, hello, Amy. Hi, how are you? i am extremely well, thank you very much. And I hope that you can say the same. Yes, I'm doing fantastic. Brilliant, brilliant.
00:01:54
Speaker
Can we start please, Amy, by you explaining a little bit about your career, your history and what it is that you do now? Sure. So I loved music ever since I was a little girl. i was young singing Amazing Grace as a child and maybe I didn't sing the words right, but I was singing it. My mom came to preschool, um actually it pre-preschool and heard me singing something and it was Amazing Grace. So music was always a big part of my journey and my life, but I didn't know what I wanted to do with music. My cousin was actually doing a lot of singing as well. She lived in New York and I would get videotapes and saying my age right there, getting videotapes. And I would listen to it and realize she was going into music therapy, which was so intriguing to me. Why it was intriguing was because I really wanted music to be able to be
00:02:46
Speaker
a help to people. And I wanted to impact them in a way that traditional medication or traditional ways of doing things, um I wanted to put everything into one, where it's physical therapy, occupational therapy, everything, and use music as the medium to get there.
00:03:03
Speaker
And so that was something that really intrigued me. So I went to school at Friends University in Wichita, Kansas, where I was born, and I did my BA in music. And then I went to University of Miami in Florida, and I got my master's in music therapy. If I'm having one of those sort of like down type of days and sort of thinking, oh, I'm so busy, I've got so many things to do.
00:03:30
Speaker
If I put on sheep, and I get that baseline, my mood immediately lifts. yeah And I've got a smile on my face. I've got more energy.
00:03:41
Speaker
There's something about that type of music that always elevates my mood. That's the sort of thing that you're talking about, isn't it?

Impact of Music Therapy on Mental Health

00:03:49
Speaker
It's like, well, music does affect us emotionally.
00:03:52
Speaker
On November the 11th, there is music that is associated with that, which is solemn music, that and it evokes emotions and and a feeling that that sets the scene. that's When you're a music therapist, you're taking that type of music and applying it to situations where to help people recover or deal with health issues.
00:04:13
Speaker
absolutely so like even in um when you're working with treatment centers this was a big thing that i would do you would hear what they wanted to listen to i would be like so what is your mood today let's listen to your music and normally i'll be honest it was depressing it was sad it was all of that and i'm not saying don't go through those emotions but they were living there so what we would do was we would gradually go a step higher to keep that music momentum going. Where at the end of it, they're like, I don't even listen to that music anymore. I'm listening to the positive music. You are my sunshine, whatever. I'm listening to the happy music. And once I do that, then i could start seeing their mood increase. Plus they were more grateful for life.
00:04:56
Speaker
Plus they just started feeling like this wasn't just defining them being in the treatment center. There was more to life. So that's what we did. Yes. It's amazing the power of music. It really is.
00:05:08
Speaker
i do another thing where we would do the Man in the Mirror, the Michael Jackson song, and i would have them look in a mirror or on a piece of paper, depending, and we would go, okay, what are you thinking when you're hearing this song about yourself?
00:05:23
Speaker
And all of these negative qualities and traits would come out and we would switch it and go, okay, it's about you. So we got to think about how can we reframe it to change that? And so we would change something that would be negative into a positive and listen to the song again, and then switch it to think of the positive of that. So it would be different qualities that they would have and reframing it would make a complete difference in their mental thought process.
00:05:53
Speaker
there's obviously an awful lot of science to it. Yes. sir Amazing things that can happen just from listening to a piece of music. We have another podcast in our Abbasidic Rotation Conversations where the guest is using that Michael Jackson song, The Man in the Mirror.
00:06:13
Speaker
Yeah. And... that song for them, they were going through a period of life where they were being bullied at work and that song helped them identify who they really were and gave them the courage, confidence to leave a toxic environment and become the person that they really wanted to be because the song talks about changing the world by changing the person in the mirror.
00:06:41
Speaker
Exactly. Because a lot of times when even people that are I've heard people say, you know, I'm so judgmental, like I'm judging everybody on the street. I'm just so judgmental. And I said, well, how do you feel about yourself? And they start telling me all of their qualities and they're judging themselves.
00:06:56
Speaker
And I said that you're never gonna change what you see out there unless you can change what you see inside. So once you stop judging yourself and loving yourself and giving yourself grace and knowing this is just a stage in life and tomorrow it can be completely different or in the next second it can be completely different because our past doesn't define us. I said, if you can do that, then you're not going to judge other people and you're going to see the love of other people rather than the judgment.
00:07:23
Speaker
It sounds as if the music enables you to create something very positive very quickly. Absolutely. Because you know where people are. a lot of people, when you're talking to them, they're not going to tell you, you know, how are you? I'm okay. You know, you don't get deep. But once you say, what song represents you today? You know where they are.
00:07:43
Speaker
That's like the, I mean, they'll tell you, this is what I'm listening to. And you know exactly where their mindset is and how to switch it, to change it to more positivity, to more of loving life. to more of their authentic and

Living Authentically After Cancer Diagnosis

00:07:56
Speaker
truth. So you can see that and then you can work from there. Well, I started this part of our conversation by sort of saying that the bass lines that you get in Sheik is the music that i I would like to wake up to every morning.
00:08:09
Speaker
What would be your equivalent to Sheik? I listen to a lot of 80s music. I'm an 80s girl. So I'm an 80s boy.
00:08:19
Speaker
I listen to a lot of 80s. I listen to Chicago. I'm listening to Earth, Wind & Fire, dance music. I am listening to oh Whitney Houston music, all of that. I want to dance with somebody. like I'm dancing all the time in the kitchen while I'm cleaning. So that kind of music. So uplifting music, but also that brings me like nostalgia.
00:08:40
Speaker
That's where I'm at. So I do love that. But I also love, you know, the older music, um Frank Sinatra music and music that gets me in that mood, too. And just the I don't know, that the loving of where I'm at in my life. So that's what I listen to.
00:08:55
Speaker
Great. You spent some time being a music therapist. What is it that you're doing now? I was doing music therapy after COVID hit. I kind of had to stop because it was, you know, we couldn't go out and do our thing anymore. Oh, and right before that too, I was doing music together, which was music with children. So it was birth to five, helping them sing in tune with accurate rhythm and teaching parents how to be with their children. when it came to musical skills. Because I believe that when you're teaching children music at an early age, that's when they can develop and it just becomes innate in them. So that was my whole purpose of that. So I sold that business and then I did a little bit more music therapy. And like I said, COVID hit, had to stop there. And then unfortunately, that's when I was diagnosed with stage four cancer.
00:09:40
Speaker
So things kind of took a complete turn. That's one of those, it's like stop, Kicking the teeth type of moments, isn't it? Yes, yes. I did not believe that was gonna happen. um i was ready to like get on with my life and all of a sudden i was in pain and ended up going to the hospital and just diagnosed with metastasized stage four cancer. And it was scary. And at that point I was like, should I, i mean, you've got a point where you're like, do I give up at this point? Because when you hear those words, you're like, it's the end. And I was at that point at the beginning because I'm like, what just happened? But what I took from it was I realized this is my moment to actually make something better of my life. Stop using fear to stop me. I was teaching that all the time in my music therapy, right? Like, let's not have fear. Let's live our lives. Let's be grateful. All of this stuff. But inside, it's harder when it's you.
00:10:40
Speaker
You can say it and you can preach it, but it's really hard when it's you because you have all of the talk from when you're younger saying you're not good enough, you're gonna be a delinquent, I was bullied. All of these things that were still in my head. And so to go, you know what?
00:10:55
Speaker
All of that does not matter at this point. Right now is what matters. And if I have another day of breathing and another day of life, this is my moment to figure out who I am in the mirror.
00:11:07
Speaker
And I did the same type of thing that I do with my clients. And I was like, okay, first of all, I need to forgive myself for anything I've done wrong. I need to forgive others for what they've done to me, even if it even if they didn't do it, but how I felt that it was taken to me, but forgive. So I forgave. That was my biggest thing. And then I need to be grateful for every single thing. And now this is my moment to check off my bucket list and live my life. And that's what I decided to do.
00:11:34
Speaker
It sounds a little bit as if you put the lord the Lord's Prayer into practice. Absolutely. One of the unfortunate things is that for all of us, we need that kick in the teeth in order to start that process of really living authentically.

The Urgency of Authentic Living

00:11:49
Speaker
Yes. We do. And that's the thing that I'm really trying to share with people now is that why wait?
00:11:56
Speaker
Why wait to that? Because it could have been a point I was in a wheelchair for six months. Like, why wait on something that is so detrimental that now you're like, now I can live my life? No, do it now. Because we don't know what tomorrow will bring. Nobody does.
00:12:12
Speaker
Like we honestly don't. So why not live in your true purpose, your passion, what God calls you to do, all of that? Why not live in it now instead of waiting for something bad to happen? Because then it might even be too late. So i always believe now is just...
00:12:30
Speaker
you know put all of the chatter aside of what people told you you should or shouldn't be what you think you can or can't do and go and search what you really want to do and what will fulfill your true happiness so i'm thinking why don't people do that before they get that wake-up call what is it that stops people from living their true lives being themselves and Is it that we listen to too many other people and what their opinions are of our lives before we actually work out what our opinion of our life should be?
00:13:10
Speaker
Yes, I believe it's that. I believe it's the chatter from when we're younger, especially when we're younger, that's when we're growing the most. And if you have people saying, you know, you need to go be a doctor, you need to be a lawyer, and I'm not having anything against any of that. But if they're like saying, this is what you need to do in order to be successful.
00:13:27
Speaker
This is all we hear, or this is what you need to do to create income, or this is what, and that's all that it is, rather than what are you really called to do? because there are people that are called to do different things, whether it's acting, whether it's singing, whether it's podcasting, whether it's music therapy, there's so many different things. And I think once we really see where our heart and our soul is calling us to be, then we can get through that, you know, that junk, you know, we can move through the mud basically, as I should say, and say, I don't care what people think that I should be, I know who I am.
00:14:03
Speaker
And that's a hard thing to do. It really is. it's It's one of those phrases that so of trips off the tongue so easily. I know who I am.
00:14:13
Speaker
But how many of us can actually say with 100% honesty that we know who we are? Right. Right. it's almost like we have too many labels in many ways thrust upon us.
00:14:30
Speaker
So if I'm thinking my time as a school governor and being at ah at school, I'm thinking, yep, if a child sort of shows that they're academically bright and they can pass exams, then the system, the academic system, the social system seems to say that now you are going to go down this route.
00:14:52
Speaker
and be this type of job, this type of person. And yet, just because someone is academically bright doesn't necessarily mean that they want to go and become an accountant or a doctor or whatever.
00:15:07
Speaker
They may actually just want to be a truck driver or to be a farmer or something that doesn't require them to be that academically brilliant. It's just, we we sort of split people off We do. and Because it's easier to get them through the system. The system takes over. Listening to you, I'm sort of like, you're convincing me that the system takes over, whether that is the formal academic system of education or the system of family expectations of, oh, so-and-so is so good at this or they're so talented at this. Well, I might be talented at it, but it doesn't mean to say that I i really want to do it.
00:15:48
Speaker
Why doesn't someone ask me what it is that I really want to do? Exactly. And we don't will we we don't ask those sorts of questions. We just, you're you're good at this topic. You're good at this subject. So that opens up these career options.
00:16:03
Speaker
There you go. Yeah. And then you're boxed in and that's what you have. And then you have people that are going to work the nine to five. And let's say Sunday night, they're all upset and depressed that they're going to work because that's not really what they wanted to do to begin with. But there's a whole industry that has generated around that whole, oh, it's Sunday night, I'm preparing to go to work, I'm miserable, I'm depressed about that prospect.
00:16:27
Speaker
And a whole industry that has developed around getting out of work. And I remember when I started work, being told by one of the people that I was a kid, was a teenager going into this workplace and somebody saying to me, somebody who was like three times my age, saying to me,
00:16:48
Speaker
This is, that you've I've given you a really boring job to do, haven't I, Michael? And I'm saying, that well, I'm sure there's something interesting in it. know, I'll find some fun in it. And he said, well, if it was fun, Michael, it wouldn't be work, would it?
00:16:59
Speaker
And I was like, oh, if you've lived your whole life like that, yeah why are you coming in every day to live your life doing something that isn't fun? Right.
00:17:11
Speaker
Right. And then it's, you know, you go to retirement age, you're like, what did I just do? I didn't live my life. It's like, well, that was fun. No, it wasn't. And then you're at retirement and you're like, okay, well,
00:17:26
Speaker
I just totally blew the best times of my life on not doing what I really wanted to do because I was scared, wasn't going to succeed. There's too many people in that industry. There's too many, you know, people could say that about podcasting, right? Like, oh, there's so many podcasters, but there's reason that people make it special. Like your podcast is special. My podcast is special. There's a, you know, everybody's unique in their own right. And I think once we start seeing it as not a competition, it's what we really want to do and who we are, that's when we excel in what we love to do.

Hosting 'Loving Your Life, Be Authentically You'

00:18:03
Speaker
That's true. You mentioned your podcast. What is the title of your podcast? Sure. It's called Loving Your Life, Be Authentically You. Right. And obviously the title gives some indication of the type of content that you have. But tell me some more about Loving Your Life, Be Authentically You. What type of guests do you have on?
00:18:23
Speaker
Oh, I have celebrity on celebrities on. I had Brooke Burke. I had Rafi from Rafi's Lounge. I've had a celebrity hypnotist. um I've had an incredible chef. I've had some friends on. ah My friend who actually had breast cancer, she was on. So I've had many different guests on. I do some solo as well as with guests.
00:18:44
Speaker
And I really want to show people that they can live authentically themselves and actually When did these people, when when did you finally decide to be authentically you? What did it take?
00:18:56
Speaker
Was it something that you were you know, from the young age, you like, this is who I am. Let's do this. Because I had one guest that did that. And she's an incredible fitness instructor. And she's like, I knew it from the get-go. This is what I was going to do. And she just, you know, she loves her life. But there's others that take time and they have to figure it out. And then what is that change that you can start living authentically you and into your true happiness? Because that's what true happiness means. It doesn't mean that everything's going right on the outside world. It's your inner world. And so when you finally live in alignment is when you can finally be really happy. So that is what my podcast is about, as well as my stage four cancer journey. how I'm able to get through it, how I see my life, um that I don't let it define me and that I really talk about not letting anything define you, whether it's a mental illness or anything in your life, because that's not really who you are.
00:19:51
Speaker
It's like labels, isn't it? Yes. You can say, yeah, I've got cancer, but cancer hasn't got me. I love that. I know so many friends who've had cancer, who've taken that type of approach with it.
00:20:05
Speaker
Yeah. I have this illness, this disease, but it doesn't have you. And you can, you're on a treatment plan, you have ah a routine, you have a everything goes together. But the thing to do is not that anything that is negative de define you. Exactly. And what do you do with that that? Right? Like, what are you doing with that? Are you going to take it and now soar in your life? Like, that's what I ended up doing. I, so the podcast started growing and then I'm now in a movie starring in a movie that'll be coming out in December called Jack in the Box. A rom-com was always my dream, always my goal to be in one. And I actually got into B1 and, be the star of it, which was so amazing. I'm an Italian acting as an Italian actress in a way. And i have Italian in me and Croatian, but it was just the most exhilarating, incredible experience of my life and something that I never would have thought would have

Balancing Life and Self-Care

00:21:03
Speaker
happened. But because I said, I'm not letting fear take over and this cancer define me, let's do it.
00:21:09
Speaker
And that's why I did it. You are filling your days, aren't you? Yes. When do you get the opportunity to have downtime? So i have downtime. Like there's times I just go to my room and I'm listening to podcasts or just, you know, taking my time. I also watch some TV with my children, with my daughter. So there are times, but there's times that we go, go, go as well.
00:21:31
Speaker
um I also go and I do my yoga practice with my, um, at Rafi's lounge, which I love. And it's like exercise, basically. I love it because it's meditating. It's actually just getting into who I am. The cold plunge, I do, you know, hot sauna, things like that. So I do take that time for myself. And I realized that through this journey too, that it is not wrong to take time for yourself. A lot of times,
00:21:58
Speaker
as a mom, even we're like, oh, that's selfish. You can't do that. Can't do things for yourself. I was forced to do things for myself. So now I have to really take the time to make sure that I'm exercising the proper way and things like that and making time for myself. Yeah. It's a bit like that message you get on the airplane where they say, put your own mask on first before you help someone else with theirs. Exactly. You can't be supportive or helpful other people unless you are fit and healthy and in a good place yourself.

Unexpected Music Recording Journey

00:22:32
Speaker
Yes.
00:22:33
Speaker
It's so inspiring to listen to the sorts of things that you're talking about and Like I said, you you were describing very practical, very logical way of living that fulfilled the Lord's Prayer.
00:22:47
Speaker
but I know that you're also a Christian musician as well, aren't you? Yes, I am. oh my gosh, that was an incredible thing that happened to me too. I actually really wanted to to make a Christian CD so bad, it was in my heart. And i was in Florida singing at my parents like would rent a condo for the holidays. So I was singing all my music therapy things, you know, you are my sunshine, let me call you sweetheart for all these older people. And i was asked to sing at a meatpacking convention. So they flew me out six months later to Florida. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. There you are singing songs for pensioners in a care home type facility. Well, it was a condo. So it older people like living in a condo.
00:23:32
Speaker
Right. So you've got you've got an audience of pensioners and all of a sudden someone hears you. This is like one of those Star is Born type moments. so Because Michael Bublé was a wedding singer, you know, and someone but was invited as a guest to a wedding who had just happened to be a talent scout and heard him sing and then all of a sudden he's all over the world. And the similar sort of thing is like,
00:24:01
Speaker
You never know who's in the audience. You never know what opportunities might result as a come along as a result. And you were then invited to sing at a convention. Yes. It was so crazy. They're like, you want to come to this meatpacking convention? And I was like, what? So I started, okay, sure. So they flew me down. I stayed in the condo and i was supposed to do like three songs. And I had different costumes, you know, play the guitar, all this kind of stuff. I did, um I think well I will always love you by Whitney Houston, somewhere over the rainbow. And it was, let me call you sweetheart actually. So I was doing different ones. They're not easy songs to sing either, are they? You're taking, well, let's just knock out a bit of Whitney Houston. Oh no, no, no, no. It is not easy.
00:24:48
Speaker
It is not. But I was like so excited to just do it. I'm that type of person. You asked me to do it. I'm just going to do it. yeah Like, I'm like, all right, let's go. So I think my mom instilled that in me. It's a Croatian thing. Yeah. But I was like, okay, so I go.
00:25:03
Speaker
She actually had a like um a talent i don't know manager book all these other people. So I only did, i think, one or two of the songs, not all of them. So my mom was like, oh you practiced, you had your costume, you didn't get to do it. And I said, it's okay.
00:25:18
Speaker
There's a reason. I did what I did. I'm happy. It's fine. Like, I don't have to do more. I don't, you know, I'm that kind of person. So the next day we go to a polka hall and we're dancing. And in the middle of the break, after they're done, you know, playing, my mom's like, hey, why don't you go sing some Over the Rainbow acapella? You just did it for this event. Go sing it. And I literally was eating a chocolate chip cookie. And I'm like, uh, okay. so like, why not? So I go up in the front of the everybody and I sing some over the rainbow.
00:25:50
Speaker
A gentleman comes up to me and says, are you a professional singer? And I'm like, well, not really professional. I mean, I've sang at weddings and things like that, but I didn't consider myself a professional. And he's like, well, I want you to sing for my Christian CD.
00:26:04
Speaker
And that's how it all came about. So he then flew me out again three months later. We learned all these Christian songs that were non copyrighted because he wanted it in his CD. And i went to the recording studio for three days straight and recorded. And most of them were one takers. We just recorded, recorded, recorded, recorded. And that's how it came to be.
00:26:23
Speaker
Wow. You never know, do you? You never know. You just have to have an open heart, an open mind. And when opportunities come along, my rule is that if an opportunity comes along and I would i would be proud for my parents to know that I said yes to that opportunity, I should say yes to it.
00:26:41
Speaker
Absolutely. Yeah.

Closing Remarks and Health Advice

00:26:43
Speaker
That's why I called it God's amazing grace, music to touch your heart. We'll put a link in the description to it. That's what it is. Really music to touch your heart. Yeah.
00:26:53
Speaker
Brilliant. You know, Amy, it has been sort of like, well, we have a time difference between Los Angeles and the United Kingdom, which means that it's sort of like the middle of the day for you and it's getting towards late evening here in the UK. So I should really be sort like closing down for the day, but you have so uplifted me. It has been brilliant having this conversation with you. Thank you very much. Thank you. I really appreciate you having me.
00:27:21
Speaker
It's been my pleasure. I am Michael Millward, Managing Director Abbasida. In this episode of Rest and Recreation, I have been having a conversation with happiness coach, actress, singer, you name it, Amy Jelic Janjak.
00:27:39
Speaker
You can find out more about both of us by using the links in the description. We've been talking about getting involved in new activities, but before you get involved in a new activity, it is a good idea to make sure that you're fit enough to undertake the training let alone the activity.
00:27:55
Speaker
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00:28:14
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00:28:30
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00:28:45
Speaker
I am sure that you will have enjoyed listening to this episode of Rest and Recreation as much as Amy and I have enjoyed making it. So please give it a like and download it so that you can listen anytime, anywhere.
00:28:57
Speaker
To make sure you don't miss out on future episodes, please subscribe. And please tell your friends, family and relatives about it as well. Remember, the aim of all the podcasts produced by Abbasida is not to tell you what to think, but we do hope to have made you think.
00:29:16
Speaker
Until the next episode of Rest and Recreation, Thank you for listening and goodbye.