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Meet Kate Hendrickson – author of the novel Christmas Switch
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Kate Hendrickson is a business coach and author whose first novel Christmas Switch draws on her own experience to tell the story of Ali, a woman who experiences burnout and decides to switch life with Tommy, her husband to create a better life for herself and her family.
In this episode of the Abeceder work life balance podcast Rest and Recreation, Kate and host Michael Millward discuss burnout and Christmas Switch.
During their conversation Kate and Michael cover:
- How the industries and types of work that Kate decided to do increased her risk of experiencing burnout.
- Michael’s appearance in feature film The Magician
- Signs that someone is experiencing burnout
- How people stop feeling like themselves and become their job
- The power of little words like yes and no
- How to say no when the workload gets too big
- The similarities between work and home-based pressures
- Problems of putting the company first
- The lessons learnt from living through burnout
This episode of Rest and Recreation is ideal listening for anyone who wants to understand burnout so that they can avoid it or recover from it to build a new life.
Discover more about Kate Hendrickson and Michael at Abeceder.co.uk
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Transcript
Introduction and Offers
00:00:05
Speaker
Made on Zencastr. Because Zencastr makes every stage of the podcast production process so easy. Use the link in the description to access discounted subscriptions.
Podcast and Special Guest Introduction
00:00:18
Speaker
Hello and welcome to Rest and Recreation, the Work-Life Balance podcast from Abbasida. I'm your host, Michael Middleward. Today, Kate Hendrickson is going to be telling me about her novel, Christmas Switch, which describes her journey through burnout.
00:00:37
Speaker
Kate is based in Pensacola in the panhandle of Florida. I've never been, but if I do ever get the opportunity to visit Pensacola, I will make my travel arrangements with the Ultimate Travel Club, because as a member of the Ultimate Travel Club, I can access trade prices on flights, hotels, trains, holidays, and all sorts of other travel-related purchases.
00:00:58
Speaker
You can also access trade prices on travel by joining the Ultimate Travel Club. There is a link in the description which has a built-in discount.
Podcast's Purpose: Thought Provocation
00:01:08
Speaker
Now that I have paid some bills, it is time to make an episode of Rest and Recreation that will be well worth listening to, liking, downloading and subscribing to.
00:01:19
Speaker
As with every episode of Rest and Recreation, we won't be telling you what to think, but we are hoping to make you think. Hello Kate. Hello, Michael.
00:01:30
Speaker
how are you today? i am wonderful, wonderful. Happy to talk to you. Thank you very much. I'm looking forward to our conversation. Can we start, please, by you explaining a little bit about your
Kate's Career in TV and Film Production
00:01:39
Speaker
career? So i actually started in television and film production. i majored in that, went back in college many years ago. i was a disc jockey on the college radio station. i really leaned into the film industry and I started my career there in ah casting and production coordination.
00:02:00
Speaker
Absolutely love that work. It is amazing. If you have never been on a film set, I highly recommend figuring out a way you're ah as like putting your foot out there um as maybe an extra or something, because it is such in a wonderful environment to be a part of. It's exciting and fun. so that's where i started.
00:02:18
Speaker
I have to agree with you. so I am so thankful that you gave me the opportunity to discuss my film career, short as it is. But thank you very much for that, because I was invited to go along to a film set so on the day when they were just auditioning the background artist to see what it was like and write about it and they told me that in order to write about it I couldn't sit in the corner I had to actually experience it so I did all the walking up and down and the running around and all sorts of various different things and then a couple of days later I got an email offering me a speaking part and it was a fantastic time they are fascinating interesting places there's so much going on and yet
00:03:05
Speaker
Everybody is quite calm, but you know that every second there's money being spent. There is, there is. And there's that concept of hurry up and wait, right? Somebody's always working on something or there's a fire, there's something going on. So could you kind of have to hurry up and wait. And in those wait moments, you know, if you just people watch, it is an incredible atmosphere to be around. And I i loved it. I loved it.
00:03:29
Speaker
So how did working in that industry result in burnouts? It is a tough industry to be a part of. So you actually are constantly looking for your next job. And so you work may work on a film set for three to six months. And in that time, you're networking and you're asking your you know fellow colleagues, you know what are you working on next? And trying to then line up what your next gig is going to be for the next three to six months or six weeks or two weeks. You don't know how long the job is going to last. And so that's a hard lifestyle to live. And it does lead to a lot of the uncertainty leads to a lot of burnout, I believe. um And I i won't say I only last in that career for about three years, but I just made decisions, intentional decisions to shift gears into a different industry
Transition from Film to Hospitality
00:04:13
Speaker
after that. But those three years were were pretty special.
00:04:16
Speaker
We hear a lot in the UK about how the film and television industry is based around freelancers. And if you get a bad reputation on one set, you will find it difficult to get work on another.
00:04:31
Speaker
And raising a concern can be the reason why you don't get work on the next film. Absolutely. Yeah. the level of pressure that people are under as a result to do a good job, not to rock the boat, to do everything perfectly, be part of the team as well. And it's very often, it's not exactly highly paid in some parts of the film industry either. So there's all sorts of of different pressures. So what sort of time did you feel as if you'd reached the point of burnout?
00:05:04
Speaker
I think I just got to a point where I wanted a little bit more stability in my life. And so it just became a little overwhelming and too much. i did I think I lost my love for it a little bit because of that constant search and and rat race right around what am I doing next and am I going to have an income in three months or six months and trying to always please and make sure that you're making the right connections and and not upsetting anyone and it was just It was just a lot. And so I decided I wanted a little bit more stability in my life and moved into more that hospitality field where I could use my production coordinating and project management skills.
00:05:44
Speaker
I worked in a wine bar and restaurant. I worked for an events company for many, many years um doing kind of operational management work. And that's where I learned a lot about leadership, which ultimately then led me to that business coaching world. But it was the right step, the right move at the right time for what I was looking for. But I think burnout definitely, definitely led me there.
00:06:06
Speaker
Yeah, it's a very easy thing to achieve, isn't it, burnout? It is, it is. and It sort of creeps up on you. I completely agree. It kind of hits you when you're not expecting it sometimes. and Or sometimes you just reflect back and go, man, I was burnt out. You don't even realize it in the moment because you're just going and going and going. And then when you look back, you go, oh man, that was a lot. So then I went into hospitality and operations management. That was another field where you're working holidays and nights and weekends and it can be ah it can be overwhelming.
00:06:36
Speaker
Yes. What's interesting for me with my HR hat on is that you made the decision to say, enough is enough, stop. I'm jumping off this completely. You didn't try to manage the effects of burnout that you were experiencing whilst continuing to work. You made a completely clean sweep of it and stopped. I did. i did. i shifted gears, still using my skills and my interest in project management and coordination, just shifting those skills into a different industry.
00:07:16
Speaker
So then you're learning to be a business coach and developing that career. But at the same time, you're writing a novel. Yes, yes. So um after I worked in hospitality for um almost a decade, almost 10 years, I moved into the consulting coaching world as a business coach. And I worked for a large consulting firm in the Chicago, Illinois area. um for and so i've worked remotely. um So I still got to live in the beautiful panhandle. But I worked for them for about 11 years. So this is I was in a ah large corporate life, corporate world, learning how to coach others on leadership. And I love i did really love the work. um But I found I didn't have as much time for some of my passion projects. I was maybe a little more time working than I wanted to, to be completely honest with you. Yeah.
00:08:07
Speaker
Burnout can be just that you lose track of who you are and you just become the job. Absolutely. i think you worded that very well. um You do lose a little bit of yourself and the things that are important to you kind of get put on the back burner.
00:08:26
Speaker
In the South, we've got a term that we say, you know, you're running around like a chicken with its head cut off. So you kind of feel like that sometimes, right? You're just, you're constantly spinning that wheel and spending a lot of time on everything but the things that are going to kind of fill your bucket.
00:08:42
Speaker
And I kind of got there. you know, I have a family. i have children. i was, you know, in a very heavy, fast-paced consulting role for a large company.
00:08:53
Speaker
i was losing myself. Yeah, I was losing myself a little bit. Yeah. So what made you decide to write a novel about the whole experience?
Writing 'Christmas Switch' and Career Transition
00:09:03
Speaker
It wasn't an instant decision to leave the the large company I was with. It took you know about a year, year and a half of conversations with my husband before we finally made the the decision for me to step away. And prior to that, I had started writing a book. um I was had gotten about two or three chapters in, not very far, and always wanted to pick it back up and just never had the opportunity because life happens. And so we were very intentional around our timing and making a decision for me to step back from that corporate world and be able to lean into um this passion project of mine. And I um left in May of 2024 great terms with with the company, but just decided to to lean into this book a little bit. And so I started to write again and really got into it and found my creative side all over again, which has been
00:09:56
Speaker
very fun over the last year. My story is is about a woman who is feeling those things, right? Feeling overwhelmed around the holidays, feeling torn between work and family and responsibilities and mom guilt. What's her name?
00:10:11
Speaker
Allie. She is stressed out. Thanksgiving comes to a close and she's stressed out about getting ready for Christmas. And her laid back husband is... She expects everything to be done and he's going to walk in on Christmas day and it'll all be Hollywood style.
00:10:25
Speaker
It will be, yes. And so you so he they make a deal to switch places and he's going to do all of her jobs and get ready for Christmas and all of her tasks. And she's going to take on a couple of his.
00:10:37
Speaker
And they learn a lot along the way about appreciating each other, but also about what it means to kind of step back and prioritize. So she's up on the roof trying to put up lights and he's planning an elementary school, Christmas holiday party. They get ah to see things in each other's eyes and so It's funny. It's comedic. It is relatable. It's kind of a fun story, but a light way to really address, you know, what people feel around the holidays and the burnout that they feel. Yes.
00:11:04
Speaker
Whatever it is you celebrate at the end of December is very often a time when the pressures of all of this extra activity, the socializing highlights with people, the things that they are unhappy about in their life.
00:11:19
Speaker
And starting of the new year is also the catalyst for saying, I am going to change, whether that is I'm going to get a new job, I'm going to get a new car, i'm going to change my friends, I'm going to change my partner. ah it's ah It's a great catalyst for change. And it sounds as if in your book, The Christmas Switch, you've identified that Ali is on the cusp of making one of those sorts of decisions, and And then almost identified for her that actually she doesn't need to make those decisions in and a negative way. She needs to explain to someone, her husband, what it's like to be her. And the best way to do that is to get him to see the world as she sees it by experiencing it as she sees it, as she experiences it.
00:12:03
Speaker
Absolutely, Michael. That's exactly exactly right. And she actually learns along the way a little bit about taking a step back and living in the moment, which I think it's sometimes hard for us to do as well because we're constantly thinking about the next thing and what's next, and which is important. i'm very I'm a strategic thinker. and That's part of my business coaching. i I think forward, but I think intentionally living in the moment is just as important.
00:12:29
Speaker
Yes. Yeah. And we all seem to forget about that. And we all seem to, with these types of events, it all seems to focus around how much money is spent.
00:12:40
Speaker
Actually, what's important is that you've got the the people that you love around the table, eating food that you've made. and The most important ingredient in any meal is the love that you put into it.
00:12:51
Speaker
Exactly. Exactly. How is Ali similar to you? I also, i feel like take on a little too much, especially around the holidays. You know, you constantly say, yes, yes, yes, I can do that. I can do that. Or i want to do that.
00:13:05
Speaker
Saying, comparing yourself to the Joneses, the people the next door neighbors, the the friends, the family, that are what they're doing. And I'm i'm similar. i'm I'm guilty of doing... the same thing, wanting it to be the perfect holiday and making sure it is the best looking you know table and having all the pictures on social media. So I'm absolutely guilty of that. And Allie's very, very similar in that way. So i there's a little bit of Allie in me and a little bit of me in Allie. I've been in America and the approaches to the holiday season and and seen all the shops and and all the so like the features on the TV from all of the lifestyle gurus. There seem to be so many of them all with the perfect lives. And when you've got a full-time job and a family family,
00:13:51
Speaker
and all the pressures of running a home, it it is impossible to live up to the expectation that the media and social media create of what these types of times of year are supposed to be like. Absolutely. Everywhere you turn, you know, you're seeing pictures or something else, you know, that's pushing you to do a little bit more. And it's, it surrounds us. The key thing is then, Ali going through this experience with her husband. I suppose as she's going through it, she must be learning about him as well as he's learning about her.
00:14:24
Speaker
She is. She is. She is learning not to take him for granted, right? There's things that she's so wrapped up in some of her own in her own world and creating the perfect so Christmas scene and and perfect pictures and perfect experience each year that she takes her husband and the things that he does for granted a little bit. And so I think there's just an appreciation that comes out of it. Yeah.
00:14:47
Speaker
We all take our partners and our families for granted a little bit too much and it can be useful to have the experience of understanding a little bit more about what life is like for them as well.
00:14:58
Speaker
Also thinking that there must be lessons that she learns about her own sort of experience of burnout and those must be similar to the lessons that you learned. It is. I don't want to give too much away.
00:15:11
Speaker
yeah I don't even want to ask you about, is there a happy ending to all of this? Because so obviously the story will unfold for itself. But when you look back on your own life and the experience of going through that burnout, can you see the things that led you down the path towards burnouts?
00:15:32
Speaker
Absolutely. And I, you know, i I've mentioned this briefly, but, you know, kind of reflect back to it is you you don't even realize sometimes until you get a chance to step away that how you're putting yourself in that situation. So um as I shared, you know, worked with the the corporate company for many years and I was constantly taking on more, right? you yeah that Would you like to mentor a new employee? Absolutely. Would you like to lead a a health and wellness team? Absolutely. You know, right? Like you're just constantly saying, I can do it, I can do it, I can do it. And in the moment, I didn't realize I was leading myself to a place of burnout. But now that I've been able to step step away and reflect back, um I think
00:16:16
Speaker
I've learned it's okay to give yourself permission to say no or to even just evaluate, is this and prioritize, is this the right use of my skills, knowledge, time, right? And sometimes it is. I'm not saying say no to everything, but I think just giving yourself the chance to to say no if that is just the right direction for you. And I was not great at that. I'm still not great at that. But saying yes ah is is a is, I'm guilty. chart Yeah. Yeah. It's part of the saying yes, part of the ambition. You want to be successful. You want to get on. You need to be seen to be the person who is the company person.
00:16:57
Speaker
It is. it is. Especially when you're in an industry, in a, but with an organization or industry where you're constantly moving your way through that that ladder or up the ladder, you you do want to be seen. You want to be known. You want to be known for being reliable. You want to be known for saying yes, right?
00:17:12
Speaker
When you think about leaders, who you know, it's who is that person they can rely on? Who is that person that's going to be a team player? Those are the things that you you want to be known for. so it absolutely is part of that.
00:17:24
Speaker
Yes. I remember being told once that, you if you want to get something done, ask a busy person to do it. And I thought that, yeah, it makes a lot of sense. Busy people tend to get things done because it's just part of their character. they They're busy all of the time. But you've also got to manage the time that it takes. And I suppose there's an element of not understanding how long it takes to do things.
00:17:52
Speaker
So you just take things on and on and on until you can't function anymore. Absolutely. And I am a huge proponent of strategic planning and strategic thinking in every aspect of your life, including the extras, right?
00:18:10
Speaker
The business coaching that I do is very strategic focused. So building strategic plans, figuring out what are those KPIs or goals, so key performance indicators or goals that you're looking to achieve What is the data that we're tracking to ensure we're getting there? And then what are the steps we're going to take? So what is that day-to-day? What's part of my day-to-day that's going to help me achieve my goals? So that is really a lot of the business professional side of work that I do. I use that in my personal life as well to look forward and say, you know, what do I want to achieve? Or what does my family want to achieve? So my husband and I meet.
00:18:46
Speaker
quarterly and we go to lunch and we talk strategically. We talk like a business. So we say, what do we want to achieve as a family long-term and financially um as far as staying connected and engaged with each other, with our children? What do we want to achieve as far as contributing to our community? And so we we think about that and talk about that and then look at what we have achieved and, you know, kind of where we're at. Sometimes we have to say, ooh, we wanted to do this and we didn't, or we made a commitment to do something, or we said we wanted to achieve something by a certain date and we didn't do that. And so what has been the barriers? And is it that we took some took on more than we could handle? And that do we need to step back from something? So we were very intentional about having those conversations on a personal perspective as well.
00:19:32
Speaker
It's a lot easier to have it with someone who is a partner, a family member though, than it is to have with a boss. yes I think though that what you've outlined there in terms of a strategy for managing the wide range of activities that a family gets involved in,
00:19:51
Speaker
is or can be are also very well applied in a working situation where when you think about it, you're actually involved in a much smaller range of activities and the outcomes are much clearer.
00:20:06
Speaker
you know You have an objective that will get the organization moving to a different point. And I don't think there's the there's the variety of things at work which actually impact on a family.
00:20:19
Speaker
Absolutely. No, no, I completely agree. Also, just to be able to manage the changes that happen along the way, whether it's professionally or personally, right? You're going to have things that happen good and bad that are going to change the direction of your goals or your, other or your priorities. Um, I mean, they got, they're like COVID, right? So it changed, it changed things for all of us. And I'm very different and personally and professionally, i think being able to manage those pieces intentionally as well, it's extremely helpful. Yes. Very important. And it's, it's a cliche, but you have to work smarter rather than simply harder.
00:20:58
Speaker
You do, you do, you really do. Yeah. What I've always tried to do when I've been delegating things to people or when things have been delegated to me is look at the work that someone wants me to do and look at the work that I've already got and ask my manager, okay, you would like me to do this. I've got all of these other things that yeah you've asked me to do. Which one do you want me to swap out so that I can do this thing that you've asked me to do today?
00:21:27
Speaker
And that, I think, starts to put things into perspective for the manager, that almost walking in my shoes, seeing the world from where I am, but also helps them to sort of think, okay, so what is really important? And when you think about your personal life, when you're having that quarterly conversation, that meeting, you're, I think, from the way in which you describe it, working out what is important to you as a couple and as a family,
00:21:55
Speaker
so that you can fulfill the most important objectives that you have. You nailed it exactly right, Michael. That's exactly what we do and and our intention around it.
Burnout's Impact on Family Life
00:22:06
Speaker
Yeah. So the process of burnout that you went through must have impacted the whole of your family as well, whether they knew or understood it. A young child isn't going to understand it, but they will experience the experience that you're having as well.
00:22:22
Speaker
They did. And, you know, it's my children got used to me missing out on some things. um And so when I left the that corporate world and leaned into doing my own business coaching, as well as writing my book and was able to give them back some time, it was, it was nice. yeah Simple things, I suppose.
00:22:42
Speaker
Right. Yes. Simple things, picking them up from school and, know, spend more time than what someone's like, what are you doing here? have a teenager now who I think it probably would rather me go back to work sometimes. That's what that's what happens when you're teenager. But now that you mentioned teenagers, so what sort of age will you involve the teenager in that quarterly family discussion?
00:23:06
Speaker
That's a great conversation. I mean, a great question. So my I have a 13-year-old and a 9-year-old. So um my 13-year-old is aware that we have the conversations and we talk to him about maybe some decisions we've made or some things that we're hoping to achieve as a family, um maybe vacations we're planning or decisions we've made, but we have not started including him in helping us make those decisions. And I think that's probably coming pretty soon because he'll be able to live more intentionally and be more engaged in what we're doing as a family if he gets a little bit more of a say-so, I think. um So that's a great question and probably something we'll start soon doing soon.
00:23:43
Speaker
I think it's a it's a useful lesson for someone of that age or a few years on from now to start understanding and learning that things don't just happen.
00:23:57
Speaker
Well, things can just happen, but when they just happen, they don't happen as well as if you put some strategy into making them happen. And this sort of thing about burnout is something that I think after talking to various different people about it is that something that just seems to happen. Nobody plans to achieve burnout. It's not, well, you don't achieve burnout. It's, it just happens to you as a result of other things. It's a consequence rather than an outcome.
00:24:25
Speaker
Absolutely. I think it's more than just being tired. i think it's when you just kind of lose your purpose, the work and the things that you're doing on a day-to-day basis that you've all we've enjoyed start to feel like a burden. i think that's when that burnout starts to creep in. Like what excited you on day one in a job doesn't just annoy you. It's I really don't want to do it, but I have to do it. Yes. And yet at the same time feeling that way, you haven't got enough of a feeling of being yourself to actually compensate for the things that you don't really want to do.
00:25:03
Speaker
Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. The book sounds really interesting and must have been quite a challenge to write. What does the future look like for you now? Sure. So i'm I'm still doing business coaching. i'm I'm working with a smaller consulting company. um That's, you know, we've got...
00:25:23
Speaker
Less than 20 employees. So compared to where I came from with thousands and thousands of employees doing some business coaching, I'm also doing some of it on on the side on my own. So that's been very enjoyable for me because I can kind of take on what i can handle. And that has... um I really enjoy it. It makes me, it brings me back to my why, um why I got into the consulting and coaching area to begin with. um so I'm continuing to do that, to do that.
00:25:51
Speaker
I'm also continuing to write. So that is, I loved the the writing process. um So continuing to do that. I'm not sure. I've got a couple of different stories in my head, so not sure what's going to land next. So stay tuned for that. um But really,
00:26:07
Speaker
I feel like I'm kind of, you know, the the concept of fractual, fractual executives, right? um I'm kind of living my life in that way a fractional professional. um So that way I can really focus on the things that are important to me.
00:26:21
Speaker
Yes. I think it's the key part is to work out what is important to you and then focus on it and have that discipline to make sure that you do, which is like have people around you who are supporting you in that focus as well. which is where the conversations with the people who are important to you matter so that they understand as well what is important to you and what is important to you collectively as well.
00:26:46
Speaker
Absolutely. Communication is extremely important professionally and personally. I've really enjoyed our conversation and I really do appreciate the opportunity to have a conversation about your book. Thank you very much. Oh, Michael, thank you for having me. This has been great.
00:27:00
Speaker
Thank you. Appreciate it. I am Michael Millward, the Managing Director of Abbasida. In this episode of Rest and Recreation, I have been having a conversation with Kate Hendrickson, the author of Christmas Switch, a novel that describes Kate's journey through burnout.
00:27:17
Speaker
You can find out more about both of us at abbasida.co.uk. There is a link in the description alongside links to where you can buy Kate's book. Being healthy is a key element of enjoying life. Staying healthy is easier if you know the risks early.
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You can access your easy to understand results and guidance to help you make effective lifestyle changes anytime by your secure Personal Wellness Hub account. There is a link and a discount code in the description.
00:28:15
Speaker
I'm sure that you will have enjoyed listening to this episode of Rest and Recreation as much as Kate and I have enjoyed making it. So please give it a like and download it so you can listen anytime, anywhere.
00:28:27
Speaker
To make sure you don't miss out on future episodes, please subscribe. Remember, the aim of all the podcasts produced by Abbasida is not to tell you what to think. but we do hope to have made you think.
00:28:41
Speaker
Until the next episode of Rest and Recreation, thank you for listening and goodbye.