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Trust Dating to Fate - a conversation with Rakesh Naidu founder of Fatedating.com
0 Playsin 7 hours
A.I. could be the secret to you having more successful dates and finding your ideal partner.
Rakesh Naidu is the founder of Fate, a connection app that uses Agentic AI to bring empathy and authenticity back into how people meet.
Fate users don’t have to engage in endless swiping. Instead, Fate users engage in voice-first interactions and adaptive matching guided by AI that learns from human tone, intent, and energy.
In this episode of the Abeceder work life balance podcast Rest and Recreation Rakesh explains to host Michael Millward how Fate uses AI to improve how people can meet their ideal partner.
They discuss how Fate
- identifies the right person to suggest as a match,
- provides feedback to daters
- facilitates voice only blind dates,
- incorporates gamification into the dating process.
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Transcript
00:00:05
Speaker
Made on Zencastr. Because Zencastr is the all-in-one podcasting platform that really does make making podcasts so easy.
Introduction and Guest Welcome
00:00:15
Speaker
Hello and welcome to Rest and Recreation, the work-life balance podcast from Abysida, where we don't tell you what to think, but we are hoping to make you think.
00:00:27
Speaker
I am your host, Michael Millward, Managing Director of Abysida. Today I am meeting Rakesh Naadu, the founder of Fate Dating.
Travel Insights with Ultimate Travel Club
00:00:39
Speaker
Rakesh is based in London, which I have visited many, many times. Every time I visit, I make my travel arrangements with the Ultimate Travel Club, because that is where I can access trade prices on flights, hotels, trains, holidays, and all sorts of other travel-related purchases.
00:00:57
Speaker
You can also access trade prices on travel by joining the Ultimate Travel Club. There is a link in the description.
Episode Goals and Audience Engagement
00:01:05
Speaker
now that i have paid some bills it is time to make an episode of rest and recreation that will be well worth listening to liking downloading and subscribing to and probably i hope with this particular podcast something that you would like to share with your single friends and colleagues as well but let's make an episode of rest and recreation hello rakesh
00:01:31
Speaker
Hello, Michael. It's lovely to be virtually acquainted with you. Thank you very much for making the time available.
Rakesh Naadu's Career Journey
00:01:36
Speaker
Could we start, please, by you giving me a little bit of a summary of your career to date and the sorts of things that you've been doing?
00:01:43
Speaker
Of course I can, no problem. So I'm quite a young gentleman myself in my late 20s, but I have been working for the last 12 years. I didn't go down the conventional route of getting educated in a university and instead chose to kind of dive headfirst into the industry of technology. And for the last 12 years, I have supported, deployed, trained and sold AI solutions to some of the biggest businesses in the world. And all that time, it was business to business. And I've had some good accomplishments in selling more than 10 million of AI solutions um in the last two to three years. But I have always had an underlying passion for dating.
Passion for Dating and AI Integration
00:02:28
Speaker
I love studying the psychology behind it. I love looking into intergender dynamics. And really, that made me take my skill set, helping some of the largest businesses in the world with AI to improve efficiency and processes and translate that really to the consumer space with something that
00:02:47
Speaker
arguably is the most important decision someone makes in their life. Who they choose to settle down with impacts their mental health, their physical health, the music they listen to, their physical fitness, the food they eat, their social circle. And really, I can't think of a more important application of where AI can drive better outcomes than in dating.
00:03:09
Speaker
I would not disagree with you. i understand all you saying about like the psychology of dating, but It also made me think, that what kind of data are you? I don't really want to speak about my personal dating life, but I would say I'm relatively, I've experienced quite a wide range of different things across the spectrum of single to relationship. And certainly a lot of my learnings, both practical and theoretical, have certainly been applied in a in a sense in the app to minimize things like being ghosted, to provide clarity of why people get unmatched, to
00:03:46
Speaker
Yes, I think that's the point I was trying to make. Be able to really cut through the noise that most dating apps deliver today, which is just swipe swipe swipe, swipe, swipe, and deliver matches that are really more curated and defined by who you are as a person, as opposed to how flashy or superficial of an image you can put up as your profile picture.
00:04:09
Speaker
It's all very superficial. Like you say, it's a superficial assessment that's made in in the blink of an eye. and you can end up swiping right when you really meant to swipe left and that's the opportunity gone but what you're saying seems to be a little bit i suppose if you move beyond the superficial it's almost like being introduced by a friend or a mutual friend so your friend knows you they know what you're like as an individual and they'd happen to know someone else and what they are like and
00:04:44
Speaker
they bring you and that other person together. No, absolutely. And, you know, the level of intuition and, i guess, positively driven knowledge that a friend would have for you in terms of pairing you up and finding you a partner is certainly the end objective of fate. I mean, because we curate matches for people based predominantly on personality, challenges, goals, hobbies, interests,
00:05:14
Speaker
It's essentially building a machine that hopefully with enough data one day would make the same kind of decisions for you in terms of who we match you with as someone as close to you as a best friend would. you know Ultimately, a best friend finding a partner for you is based on what they know about you and you know who you enjoy speaking to, bad experiences you've had. And with enough data, we can certainly drive, hopefully, the intention is the same positive outcomes for people. but you know what I will say is the technology can be used in a lot of unethical ways and we are putting ethics kind of inbuilt in the platform. You know, we never force people to do things. People can still select their own matches. They don't have to engage with the ones we give them. People don't have to speak to the AI to onboard. They can type their answers out.
00:06:07
Speaker
um And people don't have to ask the AI fate um about their matches, chats, why they're being unmatched.
Fate Dating's Unique Approach to Matchmaking
00:06:13
Speaker
They can just use it autonomously. um So, yes, certainly we want to be able to deliver the same kind of outcomes with the same intention as a friend would to you trying to find you someone.
00:06:24
Speaker
Why did you choose the name Fate Dating? So our trading name is actually Fate, but yes, formally we are called the Fate Dating app on a company's house. So the reason we chose the word Fate is there's a lot of colloquial terms like when something feels so organic and electric, people tend to describe it as it was fate. um And, you know, another word for fate is also destiny. It's something that was meant to happen. So our objective and purpose is that we deliver matches that are so curated and personalized for someone that it feels like fate. It feels like it was meant to happen. You know, people generally use that term when something positive has happened that is almost so seamless, organic and connecting that it just seems like there was an underlying force that made it happen. And if we now translate that practically to the app, we are hoping to achieve the same thing with our algorithm um through delivering seamless and perfect matches for people.
00:07:32
Speaker
It couldn't be a better name from that respect at all. and You can imagine the surprise I had when I realized that that trademark was available in the UK back in 2023. four-letter word available to be trademarked, even that in and of itself was faked.
00:07:49
Speaker
Oh, I do know that the difficulties of finding the right sort of trademark and then seeing that it's available. It's a a big success. So tell me about the process. If I was to go on to Fate, and there will be a link in the description to the app, if I go on to there,
00:08:08
Speaker
what is the process of actually building my profile on Fate? Of course. So you would download it from the App Store or Play Store, just like any other app. And what happens when you onboard is, you know, a lot of dating apps today that focus on deep personality matching, um,
00:08:25
Speaker
They tend to have long questionnaires. You're you're sitting there for 20, 30 minutes answering a multitude of different questions. And for the onboarding, here's where I've leveraged all my B2B AI skills. I put a an AI in onboarding that you speak to. So Faye is asking you, hey, Michael, tell me,
00:08:45
Speaker
about your dating challenges, how long have you been single for, what are your hobbies, you know what are the three top traits you're looking for in an ideal partner, what are your red flags? And as you answer all these questions, we build a profile in the background of what it is that you like, don't like, and the kind of person we think you'd be best matched with.
00:09:03
Speaker
Now, once you've finished onboarding and uploaded your pictures, you're now in the app and we have given you matches the second you finish onboarding, if there are people available that match what you want. Now, what's beautiful about it, in the same way that Netflix, Amazon and Spotify give you better movie product and music recommendations the more you use the app. Fate does the same thing. So once you're on the app and using it, we curate your matches even more but based on your usage. So based on who you're talking to, who you tend to ignore, we understand what it is that Michael likes in dating. Who does he like speaking to from a personality and a looks point of view.
00:09:47
Speaker
And then you also have the AI that's available in the app for you to ask questions to. you know What could I do to improve my profile? Based on my chat so far, what would you say I could improve? Am i messaging too much? Am I taking too long to reply? Do I talk about myself too much? It's available in the app to guide your experience. And the last thing that's noteworthy is we're one of the only apps that provide you clarity of why you've been unmatched.
00:10:14
Speaker
So we actually tell you, hey, you know, you've been unmatched three times in the last week. And the reason for that is people have described you as not ambitious enough. Now, this can be a bit crude, but ultimately in the real world, you never really get feedback of why someone ghosted you or stopped replying to you.
00:10:32
Speaker
But on our app, we collect this information. So we allow people to be constructive with it, with how it is that they date. Sounds very interesting. The first thing that I was thinking about was like you're saying the onboarding process.
00:10:47
Speaker
You're talking to fate. It's not filling in a form. Fate is asking you questions and you are talking to fate and fate then uses that information to create your profile. So it's it's like having a chat with your mate.
00:11:04
Speaker
It's exactly like what we're doing right now. It's a back and forth question and answer. Exactly that. That makes life a lot easier because it sometimes
Combating Loneliness Through Meaningful Connections
00:11:13
Speaker
it's easier to describe yourself by talking about it than writing it down or filling in a form. It's it's a more natural process.
00:11:22
Speaker
That would be correct. Yeah. You know, it's the same... philosophy and logic I've applied when selling this stuff to some of the world's biggest companies. you know If they can benefit from rolling this out to their customer base across insurance, healthcare, care financial services, why can't we put this in a consumer space for something that's arguably more important inherently important to people? you know The world is facing a loneliness epidemic at the moment. And Tools are being digitized and they have a lot of negative elements to it. So where we can apply some positivity around where technology can help garner better outcomes for people or at the very least make things more efficient for people um are some of our primary drivers outside of ethics, safety, compliance and delivering people something that negates that feeling of loneliness. You know, I tackle it almost from two fronts. A lot of the major dating apps today are 80% male. And that gives you two problems. Number one, for males, it means that most of them are just swiping their whole day, hoping that someone has swiped back on them.
00:12:32
Speaker
For females, The problem is they have a lot of matches, but they really struggle to find someone they connect with who sees them for who they are, who's not just trying to meet them for the wrong reasons. So when you cut through all the swiping noise and you deliver matches to people, even if those matches aren't perfect to begin with, because we don't yet know the intricacies of the person, It's better that they have five people to focus on, unmatch, talk to, and we collect the data to refine their experience than them having to sit there for hours and swipe, crossing their fingers that someone good might come along.
00:13:08
Speaker
Yes. of the criticisms that single people in the office here have mentioned about dating apps is that some of them seem to be very easy to use for a one night stand rather than looking for a relationship.
00:13:24
Speaker
When listening to you describe fate, it gives me the impression that fate makes that type of search very difficult. Absolutely. Absolutely. You know, there are plenty of apps that...
00:13:40
Speaker
provide that use case and are better used for that intention than fake. Apps that predominantly have pictures as the main reason you swipe right or left on someone,
00:13:55
Speaker
are the apps that one night stands people searching for that should be using and actually i don't think there's anything inherently wrong with that actually but i think we serve a different purpose and for people that are looking for something more meaningful and fulfilling cutting through the noise of swiping where people tend to have edited pictures people are being flashy and and superficial cutting through all that noise and delivering curated matches actually serves the purpose of delivering more fulfilling matches by design.
00:14:27
Speaker
Like the system is designed to do that. It's not something that we've just bolted on. The very premise of the system
AI-Driven Matchmaking and User Interaction
00:14:34
Speaker
better serves that purpose. This phrase that you've used quite a few times now is curated mass matches.
00:14:42
Speaker
Expand on what that actually means a little bit, please.
00:14:47
Speaker
Of course. So we curate matches for people in the sense that we provide it to them. So you never have to find a match on fate. You just use the app. And as you unmatch people and you tell us more about yourself, we we curate matches for you in the sense that they get more and more compatible for you each time. Because ultimately, the driver of how we deliver future matches to you is purely based on how you use the app. For example, if we know that 80% of the people that you've applied to tend to have X physical attributes and more importantly, they tend to have Z um personality traits, then we can start building a profile of what it is that you like and don't like. and you know
00:15:33
Speaker
Just like with any data analysis, the sample size needs to be big enough for you to have an accurate read on something. So we notify our users, you know, the more you use the app, the more we can refine and curate your matches for you. You know, a lot of people, I'll be transparent,
00:15:50
Speaker
have reported that when they first come onto the app, the matches don't quite tick boxes for them. But it's the same way as if you just downloaded Netflix or Spotify and it's suggesting music to you, of course, off the bat, they're not going to be the perfect movies and music genres that you tend to engage with. So we have the same philosophy that all of the big consumer apps use, which is aggregating data to deliver a more efficient and meaningful experience. But we've applied that to data. Yes.
00:16:21
Speaker
So you're using the technology, the AI to fine tune the people that you suggest might be a good match for each person on the, on each person that is using fate.
00:16:39
Speaker
because of the information that comes from the actual individual and the usage of it that helps you refine the type of person that that user is looking for. Exactly. And there's lots more to do in the app. So, you know, once you're there, it's not like you just have your five matches to talk to. You can talk to Faye and understand what it is you could be doing better to be more engaging with your matches. You have an insight section where you can understand why people have been unmatching you.
00:17:08
Speaker
And we even have an in-app game. Oh, where you're able to spin a wheel and talk to a stranger without seeing their profile for 10 minutes. It's almost like the show Love is Blind on Netflix, but a very short digitized version of it.
00:17:21
Speaker
You speak to a stranger for 10 minutes. We know you're compatible with them, but you can't actually see their profile and they can't see yours. And at the end of the call, in order to actually match this person, you have to you have to give up one of your existing matches. But if you give up an existing match and pick this person and they don't pick you back, You lose both people forever on the app. So we have an element of gamification built in to the app too, to allow people to have more things to do while the app is learning more about them and potentially the first five matches we give them are not very suitable. So you're working on the basis that there are five matches, no more than five matches at any one time. and the game that you're talking about has an element of jeopardy in it as well you could end up losing someone that you thought you were a good match for but if they don't think that you're a good match then they disappear forever
00:18:15
Speaker
Correct. And also the person that you were willing to give up for them disappears forever. So it's certainly high stakes in that sense. But I think it translates to the real world. It's it's just a digitized version. You know, a lot of the listeners here can probably think back to a time where maybe you gave up someone you were talking to for someone you thought was more compatible. And that always doesn't go in a positive way. Sometimes you do give up someone you're talking to for someone else you think is more compatible. And then unfortunately, it turns out the wrong way. But I think doing it in a short 10 minute burst and having it digitally is a lot more of a comfortable and easier thing to overcome than in the real world, where maybe, you know, you stop talking to someone, you go on a lovely date, things are going well, and then you end up getting ghosted. At least on fate, if that ever happens, you're given a reason that you are unmatched. You're allowed to improve yourself. You're allowed to optimize your your dating game. Because ultimately, just like with anything else that people take up, dating is a skill. You know, a lot of people need to learn how to listen to the other person talk. They need to listen to what the other person is interested in. They need to listen to what the other person's red flags are. And
00:19:30
Speaker
you know, ah dating is a two way thing. And if you're not cognizant of what the other person wants, needs, or cares about, how is it that you can even curate yourself to be a good match for them? You know, so I think where you can provide feedback, it's always better, because people can use that how they want to improve themselves. So it sounds like you're also providing relationship coaching as well.
00:19:55
Speaker
So I wouldn't by any means say I'm an expert on the topic, but I did used to have a YouTube channel back in the day where I simply just gave my opinion on intergender psychology and dating after reading lots of different books from notable to authors such as Robert Greene, I took part in some debates with some of the biggest YouTube dating coaches and I just gave my opinion. I never proclaimed to be an expert on the topic or anything, but my audience were primarily women. I was giving a man's point of view um to women on YouTube and it did amass quite a lot of attention, but I just found the advice was very repetitive. My time was very limited for one-to-one coaching. So really, fate was founded on the genesis of forming my two biggest passions together.
00:20:43
Speaker
tech and dating. And I can have a much bigger impact by providing a product that cuts through the noise than making YouTube videos and hoping more than a thousand people see it. And, you know, there's just a much wider positive impact I can have by having a consumer product in the space, leveraging my technology from selling to the biggest companies in the world and contingent on my passion for dating and what I think could be done better. Have you had any? Well, when did you launch?
00:21:15
Speaker
So we launched in September, sorry, August of 2025, but we only really started running ads in December. So we're still very fresh. We're only two to three months in, but we've had more than 2,500 installs far. um And we actually have quite impressive retention metrics. you know We don't measure anything past day 30 because we think if someone's on the platform for more than 30 days, then really we're doing something wrong.
00:21:44
Speaker
But certainly keeping people um there for up to a month is something that we still see as a good thing because the app's learning about them. They're engaged in it. They obviously don't think the matches are too bad or they would have left on day one or day three. um And other dating apps, their entire business model is keeping people on there for three, four, five months. They want you to be swiping as much as possible. You know, I don't have any more money or any more access to technology than the biggest dating apps in the world.
00:22:15
Speaker
But the difference is, is that their business model is contingent on keeping people swiping as long as possible. I'm not doing fate for money. you know I don't even target revenue at the moment with the team. We're focused purely on customer outcomes. We're focused on retention. We're focused on making sure our reviews are as positive as possible. And because this is a bootstrapped project where I've put a quarter million pounds of my own money into this project, I don't have investors breathing down my neck telling me to change our business model. So I can keep the user experience and outcomes aligned with my objectives for the platform, which is really to deliver the best matches in the quickest possible time and try to get people off the app before they hit 30 days. So ideally, you can interpret what you've just said as saying that people join the app on the 1st of March, for example, and by 31st March,
00:23:14
Speaker
They should, in an ideal scenario, have met someone who they want to have a longer term relationship with. And as a result of that, they leave the app.
00:23:25
Speaker
Of course, but we know that not everything is always as conventional as that. I know that some users would probably find someone that they're seeing, but still remain on the platform to keep their options open. And ultimately, there's nothing I can really do to stop people from doing that.
User Feedback and Matchmaking Limitations
00:23:42
Speaker
um People leave feedback, we have a twenty four seven and inbox and support number that people can contact to give feedback and give us success stories. But ultimately, I don't know if the dates they're going on are good. I don't know if the dates they're going on are bad. So there's a level of visibility that drops off where we just can only go by really ah public facing reviews and what people are raising to us as issues and our support number and inbox.
00:24:09
Speaker
But what you've described there is obviously ideal in terms of our mission and our purpose. But we obviously can't control what people do after they find someone that they're compatible with. So you mentioned feedback and reviews from the users. What's your favorite review that you've seen about Fate?
Positive User Experiences
00:24:29
Speaker
So our favorite review, actually, we got interviewed by The Guardian, three weeks ago, and we then we then got published in The Guardian two weeks ago. And we were actually trending as their number one tech story two weeks ago. And it was basically around AI matchmaking and can AI serve a purpose in matchmaking. And we got one of our users interviewed who had basically said that they'd already been on two dates since using the app. And they found that the chemistry on the dates were much better than previous apps they'd used and dates they'd gone on. And obviously, you can never really just use one user as an example of what's indicative of an entire platform and thousands of people's experiences. But certainly, that was very reassuring to hear because I'm of the belief that
00:25:20
Speaker
If you're pairing people on personality compatibility, you know our matching algorithm is 65% weighted against personality and 35% weighted against looks. And the two users decide to meet up, which obviously establishes that they are attracted to each other. with but with the emphasis being on the fact they were matched for personality reasons, it doesn't surprise me that they would have more natural chemistry on a date. Because on other dating apps, people generally are swiped right on within seconds. you know
00:25:52
Speaker
I've actually been in rooms with guys who use the other big dating apps before I made mine, and they are literally just swiping right right, right, right, right. And it's purely based on what the person looks like. They're not even looking at the profile.
00:26:05
Speaker
And women have never really had a problem getting loads of matches on dating apps. But because the people that they swipe right on have swiped right on them for the wrong reasons, it obviously negates compatibility, the chances of compatibility when they do go on a date. There's a misalignment of why they even swiped on each other to begin with. And women are searching for more meaningful matches. And men, to be honest, for most dating apps, because there's a four to one ratio, are just searching to get matches to even then explore if there's something meaningful. Right.
00:26:38
Speaker
It's quite a complex stage of life to be in dating, but it certainly sounds like you do have something that is is taking a different approach. And I really do appreciate, Rakesh, you taking the time to explain it to me to today.
Conclusion and Episode Wrap-up
00:26:52
Speaker
Thank you very much. It's been very interesting.
00:26:55
Speaker
Thank you, Michael. The feeling is reciprocal. Thank you for asking ah very good questions as well. That was a very enjoyable conversation. Thank you. Thank you very much. I am Michael Millward, the managing director of Abbasida, and in this episode of Rest and Recreation, I have been having a conversation with Rakesh Nehdu, the founder of Fate Dating.
00:27:17
Speaker
You can find out more about both of us by using the links in the description. If you're going to be using a dating app, you will need to make sure that you have a good internet connection on your phone.
00:27:28
Speaker
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00:27:40
Speaker
There is a link in the description that will take you to more information about business and personal telecom solutions from three and the special offers available when you quote my referral code. I'm sure you will have enjoyed listening to this episode of Rest and Recreation as much as Rakesh and I have enjoyed making it.
00:27:57
Speaker
So please give it a like and download it so you can listen anytime, anywhere. To make sure you don't miss out on future episodes, please subscribe. Remember, the aim of all the podcasts produced by Abbasida is not to tell you what to think, but we do hope to have made you think.
00:28:15
Speaker
Until the next episode of Rest and Recreation, thank you for listening and goodbye.