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All Behavior is Communication: Learning to Talk with Stephanie Cohen @learntotalkwithme
1.2k Plays8 months ago
Learn to talk with speech language pathologist, Stephanie Cohen! This episode is all about communication behavior, speech and feeding tips.
We answer questions like: at what age is a lisp a concern?
Is it normal for my child to not be able to say green?
What books should I read with my baby and toddler?
Is it ok if my toddler wanders while I read?
And SO much more!
Follow Beth: instagram.com/bigcityreaders
Follow Stephanie: Instagram.com/learntotalkwithme
Get Stephanie's books
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Transcript
Introduction and Guest Overview
00:00:11
Speaker
Okay. Welcome back to the play on words podcast. It's your host, Ms. Beth. And I am here with one of my favorite authors, speech language pathologist who specializes in speech and feeding for babies and toddlers and all around fun. Follow on Instagram, Stephanie Cohen. Hi, Stephanie. Thank you. Hi, Beth.
00:00:32
Speaker
The love is mutual. I love all of the things that you say. I learned so much from you too. Oh my gosh. I feel like we think the same a lot of the time. So I'm happy to be having this conversation. I know. I actually do too. And doesn't it feel so validating when someone that you love and admire on the internet says the same thing? You're like, yes. OK. Yes. I'm like, I thought we could be friends. And we really can. You like me too. Yes. Oh, you like me. It's fun.
Stephanie's Work and Motivation
00:00:57
Speaker
Yeah.
00:00:57
Speaker
So, okay, you talk about you're a speaker, you work with clients, you write books, and you talk a lot about speech development. Obviously, that's your passion. And I do a little bit, I'm not a speech pathologist, but we know that language and literacy are pretty closely connected. And do you want to like tell us a little bit about like how you got to where you are and like what you love about it?
00:01:22
Speaker
Yes, I would love to. It's sort of a long and winding road. I am a speech language pathologist. So you're exactly right. I care a lot about language development. And I also care a lot about how kids learn to eat and how families develop strong and trusting relationships around just their child's learning. And so I have been working in the field for about 23 years. And
00:01:46
Speaker
There have been lots of questions that I've gotten over the years on a lot of different things, but specific to books, one of the questions that I get all the time, and I know you do too, is how do I get my child to sit and listen to a book? My baby doesn't care about books. My toddler's not interested. And then also, how do I help my child learn language? Because my child isn't imitating me, or they're not interested when I try to teach them words.
00:02:13
Speaker
As I've gotten to know lots of families over the years and just sort of answered that question over and over again, you know, I look for tools and toys and books and things that can help support parents in engaging kids around books and language learning. And I couldn't find exactly the thing I wanted. And so I guess I just I got to the point where I kind of got tired of looking for it. So I thought,
00:02:37
Speaker
maybe I'll try to make it. And that led to the creation of my first Learn to Talk book. And here we are. It's turned into four so far and another five on the way. So I'm just really excited and still like kind of in disbelief that this little series has become a thing that's helped parents.
00:03:00
Speaker
I'm just loving it. It's amazing. It's so amazing.
Creating Tailored Resources
00:03:03
Speaker
And I, that's exactly like why I built big city readers too, is I was like, you know, there's certain curriculum or there's certain classes or there's certain things that were like, I like some of it, but not all of it. And I was like, I just have to create it then. You just have to do it. And you're, I was going to say, you share so many tips and like, you're like, I love, you said something about like toys that you show people how to use toys. You're so brave that you record yourself in Target.
00:03:29
Speaker
You know, I've had people ask me about that a number of times, but I just sort of the way that I think about what I want to share with families, it just comes out of like my everyday life. So if I'm in Target or I've also been in like lots of independent toy stores or grocery stores, I was recording in Trader Joe's yesterday. I just, if I don't share it, I'll forget it, number one. So it's a little bit sort of like a logistical thing.
00:03:57
Speaker
But number two, I'm in familiar spaces where our families are like living their lives. And, you know, we both I'm sure see people either in like the toy aisle or in the bookstore just like not knowing what to choose. So it's kind of fun to share ideas and I just want to make things easy.
Early Intervention Strategies
00:04:15
Speaker
parents are so inundated with information. And I feel like we're both kind of similar in the whole like, you don't have to do it all messaging, right? Cause it's true. So yeah, I love that. I started one of my like first series that I did on like video content was like, you know, five years ago. And I was like, here's
00:04:36
Speaker
is a reading game you can play while you're waiting in line at the coffee shop because like nobody I was I was realizing when I was like observing families like nobody has time they're on the way to sports they're on their way to this thing their parents are so busy and everything is like here's an 18 step routine to do with your child if you want to make sure that they go to kindergarten prepared you know it was just like and I was like that doesn't matter
00:04:59
Speaker
It doesn't. You're exactly right. And, you know, I practice a lot in early intervention here in Illinois. We're both so close. And so I work with babies and toddlers and early intervention is really a very special type of program in that we provide our support in the natural environment. Usually that's a home or it could be a daycare or like a relative's home.
00:05:21
Speaker
And we're doing parent coaching and we're very routines focused, meaning the strategies that we brainstorm together in collaboration with parents are things that we want to be very doable, very low left things that fit right in to their daily routine. So that's kind of how I think I'm not like a step-by-step program type of person. And there's lots of great programs for lots of things out there. It's just not how my like family centered, child centered brain works.
00:05:51
Speaker
So I think that comes across in how I communicate with parents, but there's so much guilt about feeling like you need to do so much. And we think about it differently with our babies and toddlers. So I try to just share that.
00:06:05
Speaker
I love it. And you do such a good job. Yeah. Okay. So you work in early intervention. I know this is like everybody's big question. Um, like, how do I know if my baby needs to be evaluated or like what, I know that's like so vague too, but like that, I did a question box and like that that's one of the questions. Like when do you start, when do you start to worry? So I also get that question all the time. So I'm glad you brought that up and,
00:06:33
Speaker
Early Intervention is this amazing program that provides free evaluations for families. And the reason is if parents are concerned, we want to come in and offer support and help parents understand their child's development. So in a way,
00:06:49
Speaker
I sort of feel like as a parent as well, if you're concerned and you're worried, reach out. It doesn't have to be that you check these five boxes on this list and then you can have an evaluation. Talk to your pediatrician, reach out to the program. You don't need a physician's referral, although it's amazing and most physicians are supportive. So it's great if you have your physician support, but we're trying to fight back against this sort of epidemic of, oh, wait and see, they'll grow out of it when
00:07:19
Speaker
parents' level of stress is actually impacting their experiences and their daily routines with their children much earlier. So I actually see, I see babies in the newborn stage. Those tend to be kiddos that maybe had a rough start to life, but I see lots of infants whose parents are worried that maybe they're not babbling or they're having a tough time transitioning to solids.
00:07:42
Speaker
Bottom line, I think if you are worried and your gut is telling you something's not right here, there's actually a lot of research that has looked at that and that parental instincts actually usually are on target. It may not mean something terrible is going on, but it may just mean that you need some more information in order to support your child's development in a way that feels good to you.
00:08:04
Speaker
I love that. OK, so you don't have to wait to go to a pediatrician. You could go to early intervention and request. Yeah, this is what I tell people. There's actually a video pinned to the top of both of my pages, TikTok and Instagram, just saying Google early intervention and the name of your state if you're in the US.
00:08:24
Speaker
and it will come up. It's called something different in each state. Some states it's called early intervention. Some states like, for example, Oklahoma, sooner start. Some states it's like first steps. But that will bring up your state's program and there should be a way to find a phone number to refer your child for an evaluation.
00:08:42
Speaker
Amazing. Um, you also said something about babbling and I think, okay, so I teach in-person baby classes and it's mostly parent coaching, you know, about like, here's how we use the books. Here's like how to interact with babies and just to early development stuff. Um, but I think a lot of people, at least I've noticed this throughout teaching these baby classes, you know, like people don't really celebrate
Foundations of Language Development
00:09:04
Speaker
babbling. Like they're like, Oh, they're not really saying anything. Right.
00:09:07
Speaker
So like, could you talk about that and how, why that is important or like, is it important to that baby's babble? And does it mean anything? Yes, it means so much. So it may not be that your baby's using words, but they are developing the foundational skills that are going to support the production of words. But what's even more important is that your child is learning sort of the rules of communication. So, you know, we know that when infants are very young,
00:09:36
Speaker
in the newborn stage even, one month, two months, they start to use their voices and they start to take turns vocalizing. And so we help parents understand this is your child learning the rules of communication. And when children start to babble, when infants start to babble, they're learning to use their mouth muscles in new ways. They're learning to imitate what they see the grownups around them doing or other children. And they're starting to figure out why my mouth can make lots of different sounds.
00:10:04
Speaker
I liked that one sound. I want to try and do it again. So they're building their sort of motor learning, right? They're practicing.
00:10:11
Speaker
making different sounds. And so then that sets them up for the stage when they hear a word and they want to imitate it. So in the other thing to think about too is a lot of first words sound just like babble. So if you think about mama, dada, papa, those words are really just repeated simple syllables. So everything builds on the skills that develop hopefully before we get to words.
00:10:39
Speaker
I love it. And I love that you said that they're learning turn taking. I think I remember learning that at some point that, you know, when we, I think a lot of people want to be like asking questions and, and, you know, like, what does that say? What does that color? What is that thing? And that's not really how conversations work. We turn take. So like, maybe go like into like narrating, like I'm drinking tea and not necessarily saying, what are you drinking? But maybe like letting there be space for them to say,
00:11:09
Speaker
I love that you brought that up because I think I have two thoughts when I think about this sort of question asking practice. First of all, lots of parents think that that's how they're supposed to do it. And there's nothing wrong with asking questions, right? It's not all or nothing. But sometimes you're exactly right. That balance gets sort of out of whack because
00:11:29
Speaker
We're not necessarily stepping back and kind of waiting and seeing what our child is interested in sharing. I think the other thing is as parents, it makes us feel so good when we can like say, oh, can you say dog? And our child does it. It makes us feel good, right? Like they're learning. And I totally get that too.
00:11:48
Speaker
But i think that you know we have to think about a balance and what are the questions that were asking and are we like holding space for our children to communicate in a variety of ways what they're thinking what their ideas are and when babies are babbling and taking turns,
00:12:04
Speaker
They are just showing us what they're interested in learning in that moment. And then I often tell parents imitate your baby. It's one of the best things you can do in those early stages because your child's going to learn. Oh, wow. Like my voice is meaningful. What I have to share is really meaningful. And this big person that I love so much, like really is responding to me. So it's.
00:12:26
Speaker
It does so much to build the relationship. I think when we don't ask questions and we kind of sit back and we're responsive. Yeah. Yeah. I noticed that I was doing a one-on-one session with a six-year-old even recently. And I think that we talk about wait time in learning and in language and all this stuff. And it even is so important with the six-year-old because I asked him a question and he said, I don't know. And then I just didn't respond.
00:12:55
Speaker
for like five seconds and then he said oh it was the green one you know he like had the answer then but you know we so that that not saying anything where we like enter our voice turns into like them saying i don't know but that doesn't mean that the words aren't coming or that doesn't mean that their thoughts aren't there we just need to give a little space for them
00:13:14
Speaker
One of the, yes, I love that so much. And I, I, the parents, I call that like the powerful pause, like the power of the pause. That's not necessarily like my terminology, but I think it really communicates what we mean is that that pause has the power to allow our children to process what they're observing, to think about whether they want to respond, because sometimes they just want to do something else.
00:13:38
Speaker
and then to figure out how to generate that response. And from my perspective, it's figuring out which words to say, how to move their muscles of their mouth to actually say them. And I just think sometimes we forget to give kids that time.
00:13:54
Speaker
So yeah, I love that. I love being on the same page. OK, so to. Well, OK, so we talked about early intervention and someone asked a really specific question, and that is when to worry about a lisp.
Articulation and Future Impacts
00:14:11
Speaker
Everyone points out that my just turned two year old has a lisp. Would you say similar on the lines of an early intervention or case by case? What are you going to ask me this yesterday? This is. Oh, my gosh. Yeah.
00:14:22
Speaker
So the question that the parent asked me was about an S and a child producing S with their tongue between their teeth. So I want to start off by saying
00:14:31
Speaker
I am not an articulation specialist because when we work with babies and toddlers, they're just kind of figuring out how to, you know, use their mouth muscles to make different sounds. And then they're figuring out how to coordinate lots of movements in sequence to produce words accurately. So there are so many mistakes with articulation. Articulation is just knowing how to produce a sound accurately. So if I put my lips together to make a B sound, I'm articulating that B.
00:15:00
Speaker
And so many babies and toddlers, well, babies for sure, toddlers make mistakes and even like early school age kids make lots of mistakes. And there is a lot of data out there about when we expect most of the kids to be able to produce sounds clearly. And S is actually a later sort of developing, it comes in early on, but usually it's not articulated correctly.
00:15:22
Speaker
So two is a little young to be concerned about that. When I meet kids that are that age, I think about what are the mistakes I expect them to be making for their age? And are these the ones that we're familiar with? Because sometimes kids make mistakes that are really unexpected and indicate maybe something that we need to ask more questions about. S is one of those that we can wait a little bit.
00:15:47
Speaker
And so that would be a situation in which I would say like, I don't think not knowing your child, I don't necessarily need an evaluation just for that at the age of two, but you can seek an evaluation through the school district if your child is older than three or five in some states and have them take a look at your child's articulation skills if you're concerned.
00:16:07
Speaker
I love it. And that does, that articulation, I would say is like such, that's where I kind of have a little bit more knowledge where it's like, that does affect a lot of their reading and writing. Um, so, but I, I love that you remind that there's a certain stage and age or age that we expect sounds to be developed because a lot of people will be like, Oh my almost three year old can't say the R sound. They say Queen instead of green is that comes later too.
00:16:32
Speaker
No problem. Yes. Yeah. R is a later developing sound. L is a later developing sound. And then another sort of big kind of concept or sort of rule that we think about is that when there's two consonants next to each other in a word, toddlers simplify that. So they might say ween, but they might also say geen.
00:16:51
Speaker
and leave that second consonant out completely. And that's expected too, because again, their little muscles are figuring out how to do really complicated tasks really quickly to get all those different sounds right. And so they simplify and make the task easier as with most other things. And then over time, as they gain skills, they begin to be able to produce all the sounds in the right places.
00:17:16
Speaker
Oh, that is such a good reminder because I do think there is like, there's just like such a panic. I feel, I feel so much for parents that it's just, there's like so many, there's like everywhere, at least I turn, there's like a video that's like, make sure your child doesn't do this. It's just, it's so overwhelming. It is overwhelming. And you know, a lot of the time when you're watching videos like that, they don't,
00:17:36
Speaker
they don't cover all the nuance. So I think sometimes, and this is something that I think about a lot when I share tips, is am I creating more questions than offering answers? So I think that's the challenge of what we do in this like very short form content creation. And I know you do, you've got, I think some courses and some longer things where you really give parents a full experience and you work with parents like I do outside of social media. But yes, to what you said is sometimes it can be very overwhelming.
00:18:06
Speaker
make parents worried. And that's certainly not our intention. I know. I know. And I like, I'm like, I'm sure I've had a video that I'm just trying to answer something quickly. And then it's like, it's not all there. And it's so hard because yeah, social media is short form and it doesn't really, like, that's why I made the podcast hopefully. So people can like actually have answers, longer answers, but like, yeah, please don't just go like make an assessment on your child off of social media. Let's just say that hard. Yes.
00:18:33
Speaker
That's hard. Not a good idea is. And I was listening to one of your podcasts this morning. I think it was the one about, um, like not having to always be good at things. And two things, one, now you've got me like, Oh gosh, I have to sign up for something that I'm not good at and not well, but I love that idea. But also I think kids really appreciate when like us as the adults are, are also not good at things. And, you know, I talk about this a lot with kids.
00:19:03
Speaker
when I work with them around eating, because as adults, it's okay if a child doesn't like everything that they try. And if we as adults pretend that we do, we're kind of doing a disservice to them, because we're not really being honest. And I think it's the same with reading, you know, they're a little bit older, they're a lot older.
00:19:25
Speaker
And they abandon books, which I think is another thing you talked about. And, you know, when I was a younger parent, I was like, oh, no, no, you have to finish it. You're not going to finish it because finish if you finish something that makes me feel good as your parent. And sometimes we forget that, like, we've all not finished books because we just like them or because they were too hard or because, you know,
00:19:45
Speaker
So anyway, yes. Yes. And yes. Yes. And even like, I have two books sitting next to my bed that I am in the middle of. And I'm like, you know what? I need to remember, like I have to give myself that permission. I'm doing a lot. It's not that I'm a failure that I can't finish this book right now. I'm just in the middle of it right now.
00:20:04
Speaker
You're just in the middle. Yes, I love that. It's in progress. Yeah. Um, yeah. And I say like on my end of like seeing kids with reading, I would say like making sure that you act as early as possible. So if they are six or seven in school, like getting an articulation evaluation or speech evaluation, because as they do start to, you know, write, so maybe they are saying Queen and then they're not hearing that blend. And then it's confusing when they're reading that word. Cause they, so, so.
00:20:34
Speaker
It does. It does. Around six and seven is when I do usually see kids struggling with that. Yeah. But I don't think there's a direct correlation that specifically like in that situation like that. Yeah. Yeah. I just I wish I could speak more intelligently on that specific topic. But we something that people don't
00:20:58
Speaker
often realize about speech language pathologists is that a lot of us have very specialized areas of practice within the field. So you had mentioned in the beginning, one of my areas of specialty is feeding. Not everybody does feeding. Some people only do feeding and some people only work with adults on voice and some people only work with school age kids on articulation. And so
00:21:22
Speaker
If you ask us about specific topics, you will often find that some speech pathologists can talk very specifically about certain things and other things are like, please don't ask me.
00:21:34
Speaker
Yeah. Well, and I actually, I told someone this recently, I was like, that is the kind of person that you can trust because often it's, it's very similar with teachers, you know, people like teachers are, there's like a general education degree and then there's specifics and you know, people will be like, Oh, I'm a teacher too. Or like, Oh, I'm a teacher. So, or they're a teacher and they get this, but it's like, like I specialize in learning, learning behavior and literacy and
00:22:01
Speaker
And like that, I'm not going to be an expert, even though my degree goes through high school, I'm not an expert in high school development. Like I, I didn't, I don't focus on that now. So just like, you know, Justin, that's a good reminder. Justice speech pathologies doesn't mean you understand everything about how everyone talks. A teacher doesn't mean you understand everything about how everyone learns and, and to make sure that you're asking the right question.
00:22:24
Speaker
Well, and especially if you're a parent who's looking for someone who can help you understand a certain aspect of your child's development, you're absolutely right. It's so important to ask those questions. If you want help with your child's eating, you need to be asking, what's your background? Do you have training in feeding and what's your approach? You know, those are important questions.
00:22:44
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. So do you have a favorite or not favorite, maybe favorite. I always, I always think I don't like to ask favorite because I've worked with so many kids that if I say like, what was the best part of this? And like, like those superlatives can for some kids feel really like overwhelming. So if you just say like, what's something that you did today instead. So what is a tip that you like to share about feeding for toddlers?
Responsive Feeding and Eating Autonomy
00:23:11
Speaker
Let's say toddlers.
00:23:13
Speaker
OK, that is an easy answer. And it is not your job to get your child to eat. It is your job to be a parent who is responsive to your child, who looks for what your child enjoys, what they love, what they're interested in learning, and to remember that eating is about more than just calories and volume. But it's also about helping your child feel autonomy over their own body.
00:23:42
Speaker
and have positive experiences around food and eating and develop in the way that their own unique body is meant to develop. So that is the big picture that I always think about when I meet any child in any family. And for some parents, that is really surprising that it's not their job to get their child to eat.
00:24:04
Speaker
But it also takes a lot of stress off of parents, especially when they think they're supposed to get their child to eat certain things and their child isn't ready, doesn't enjoy those things. Maybe their body doesn't feel good when they eat those things. Maybe their body's not growing the way they expected it to.
00:24:24
Speaker
But all of this conceptualization is under this umbrella term of responsive feeding. And so if anyone out there is interested in learning more about that, there are lots of places to do that. But I talk a lot about the fact that we are there to offer opportunities for learning. And I know that you think the same way in your work, but in eating, it's so important because we offer opportunities and we look for what our child is interested in and we support them in that learning.
00:24:54
Speaker
Yes. And that's, I wonder, I'm sure it's similar to like responsive parenting or responsive teaching. It is deeply rooted in responsive parenting. Yes, absolutely. I love that. Great article back from 2011 by Maureen Black and Frances Abboud, a journal article where they wrote that responsive feeding is rooted in responsive parenting because responsive
00:25:20
Speaker
parenting actions. I try to avoid use of the word behavior. It's a thing. I think all behavior is communication. And I think about actions and what are they telling us, but
00:25:31
Speaker
In the same way, parental actions are considered responsive if they're prompt, like they respond right away to things like hunger or fullness or dislike. They're emotionally supportive. They are developmentally appropriate, right? If your child is just learning how to pick up a spoon, you're not necessarily gonna put a big spoonful of food in their mouth when they're not able to do that yet.
00:25:56
Speaker
and then also contingent. So just meaning that it's based on what your child has just said or done or communicated. So you're just, it's really child centered and you're absolutely right. It's very rooted in responsive parenting.
00:26:08
Speaker
Yeah, there's something called the responsive classroom, too, which is a type of behavior management. Sorry, I just said your trigger word. But it's I, you know, I talk about this sometimes it's, you know, there's, there's such a wide range of things to talk about, right on the internet. And, you know, where the responsive classroom is about
00:26:32
Speaker
logical consequences, developmentally appropriate. And so if a child draws on the wall and you didn't explicitly say, this is where your drawing goes, it's your fault. Right. And to take away like, oh my gosh, this is like my worst nightmare. People have told me that this happens to their kindergarten or first grader to say that they get a silent lunch because they were talking during class is not a logical or developmentally appropriate consequence.
00:27:02
Speaker
I would have had so many silent lunches. I know. And look at you now. And I'm always like, as a teacher, I've worked in schools, but I'm like, school, like your child is fine. It's school. That's the problem. Yeah. How can we understand our child and what, what are they communicating to us? What's, what's the why? I think that like, if you think this way, you think what's the why. So if it's a parent who's struggling because their child is running away from the table or throwing food or having a meltdown,
00:27:30
Speaker
They're not being bad. They're feeling bad. And what's the why? And how do we help them to feel better and figure out how to support them differently so that they're not having a bad experience? And we can't prevent all bad experiences, right? Sometimes it's happened, but the shift in
00:27:47
Speaker
mindset around that I think is pretty powerful for parents. I feel like so many parents though say like, well, so we're not going to have any rules. Oh, so we're going to let them just starve. Like, what do you say to that? That's not what it means. We set loving boundaries, but those boundaries need to make sense, right? And those boundaries need to not, um,
00:28:11
Speaker
take over your child's autonomy over their body. And I think that when we think about eating, the goal is to help our kids grow into what Ellen Setter, who is a registered dietician and an author and really a pioneer big name in our field, calls like a competent eater. That's a term she has used. And really what that means though, is that your child
00:28:38
Speaker
has the experiences to be able to tune into their own body and their sensations of hunger and satiety and even like taste and pain and discomfort and that they're able to use their body's signals over time to give their body what it's telling them it needs, whether we're thinking about the amount of food eaten at a meal or the type of foods that a child picks from what's offered. And so we can set boundaries around
00:29:07
Speaker
Throwing food when we understand the why behind it and
00:29:13
Speaker
If we miss the curiosity about what is my child trying to communicate, we're missing a chance to connect with our child, right? And we're missing a chance to help our child feel understood. Because in that moment, if your child is throwing food because they're scared of that food, because they've had a bad experience, they probably can't tell you that in the moment. So you've got to be curious and be a detective and try and figure out what is my child telling me with this action and how, because usually if you address the root cause,
00:29:42
Speaker
the behavior or the action changes because it doesn't serve a purpose anymore. So that's how I think about it is we're setting loving boundaries, but we're not necessarily just trying to control a child because of the power differential of being a bigger person, you know.
00:29:57
Speaker
Yeah. All behavior is communication. I love that. So, okay. I have two questions for you. What would you say to like the parent that's like, I know that they're going to sleep better if they eat and I just need them to sleep. And I feel like a lot of people say that. Do you hear that?
00:30:16
Speaker
Yes, I hear it all the time. And usually it's in the context of a parent wanting a child to finish their dinner, the quantity that we think they should be eating at that time. And it's not 100% wrong that if a child doesn't have enough nourishment, they may wake up during the night. However, it isn't entirely something that we as the adults
00:30:42
Speaker
can control, nor should we try, right? Because when our children are able to eat more because their body's telling them to, and when they get to the age where their body regulates to the point where it doesn't need calories at night because they're eating more during the day, it, they, that problem sort of developmentally kind of solves itself. So I think sometimes we get into trouble when we push kids to eat more before bedtime,
00:31:09
Speaker
because we're telling them to do something that their body is telling them not to do. And that is the biggest issue is then we're taking away like their ability to pay attention to those sensations.
00:31:23
Speaker
So I think that's a really tough conversation because I've been there totally sleep deprived with three kids. Um, so over and over again, so I get it. I truly, I'm not saying that being like flip, but at the same time, your child's body, if nothing has gotten in the way, isn't telling them it needs more right now. So it's not your job to get them to eat more. Do people believe you when you say that?
00:31:53
Speaker
They believe me, but they don't like it all the time. Because they're like, well, if you think about it, it's really like kind of a myth that is perpetuated over and over and over again. If you put cereal in the bottle, baby will sleep longer. Once they start, they'll sleep. And it's usually not the starting solids part. It's usually the fact that when babies start solids, they're a little older.
00:32:15
Speaker
and developmentally, lots of babies at that age start sleeping through the night. So we think we've got the control over the situation, but it's not actually only about the food. And I think if you learn from sleep experts as well, they'll say the same thing. And I actually think there's been research that's been done that has disproven the idea that if we get our kids to eat more before bed, they sleep longer.
00:32:41
Speaker
Sometimes parents look at me like, uh-huh. Okay. I'm like, I'm just telling you what the research says. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's just the messenger. So sorry. This isn't a problem I can give you a solution to because it just is what it's supposed to be in a lot of ways.
00:32:59
Speaker
Yeah. So, okay.
Linking Feeding and Speech Issues
00:33:01
Speaker
So I said on Instagram, like that you specialize in feeding and speech with babies and toddlers. So somebody did ask, they're like, wait, is that connected? If my baby is struggling with eating, is that going to be connected to their speech?
00:33:14
Speaker
So that's another big question that's circulated in our field for a long time. And in some situations in which there is an underlying condition that affects maybe use of muscles or I'm thinking about things like cerebral palsy and other conditions that might cause like really low muscle tone or pervasive sort of weakness everywhere.
00:33:37
Speaker
that's going to affect anything that a child does. But it is not true that if a child has feeding problems early in life that they will then have communication issues. They're not usually related unless, again, there's some sort of diagnosis or condition that comes with a higher likelihood of both of those things. So
00:33:59
Speaker
Yeah, it's not a direct connection for all kids. Yay, good to know. Yeah. Those are all the questions that everybody had. Is there anything else that you want parents or teachers to really know in these early years? You are an expert and a queen, the queen of my heart. Thank you. So tell them this is your chance.
00:34:24
Speaker
You know, Beth, I'm just so excited to share my books with parents because they have within them sort of all of the things that I love to share with parents. And the thing that I love the most about the impact that this book series is having on parents and kids is that they're giving parents tools to be able to support their infants and toddlers development in ways that parents may not be aware that they could do.
Communication Building Blocks and New Books
00:34:54
Speaker
what I really love telling parents, and we talked about this at the very beginning of our conversation, is that there are all these building blocks of communication. And we talked about babbling and turn taking, but there are also things like gestures and facial expressions and these small little sounds. And so I'm excited to be able to share more of these books with the world to give parents just options. My hope is that
00:35:21
Speaker
You know, you and I love when we're in a conversation with a parent and we can give them five ideas if that's not too overwhelming of what they can do about something they're worried about. I want a parent to be able to open my book and look at this page and say, oh, my gosh, I don't have to read the whole page. My child doesn't have to sit and listen. If my child's active, I could just roar or make a gesture or produce a facial expression and I'm helping my child learn. So this.
00:35:48
Speaker
This sort of goes along with what really goes along with what we were saying about parents having options and building blocks to think about and taking that pressure off. And then the other thing that I will say, so these are the first two books in the series. This one's about
00:36:04
Speaker
It's gonna be two years old in June. This one was a year old in December, had its first birthday. And then the two, yes. And the two that are coming out March 26 are the I Can Say Mama book and the I Can Say Dada book. And the thing, I'm excited about a lot of things, as you can tell. But the thing that I'm most excited about is that this book is making a direct connection for parents.
00:36:27
Speaker
or for the babies and toddlers actually with their mama and Dada, because there's a place for parents to put their photo. And in speech therapy sessions and on social media, this might be the question I get the most often is how do I teach my child to say mama? And we tell parents, one of our best tips and it works is put mama in a book. So what I typically say is get a photo album where there's like one picture per page.
00:36:53
Speaker
put lots of pictures of yourself in it and have it around. And I thought to myself, what if I just made a tool that like helped parents do that, but then also goes on to show lots of moms and babies and toddlers in different daily activities with words that are early developing words. And so then it becomes this whole sort of robust tool that
00:37:17
Speaker
parents can use to have conversations with their little ones, but also to help their little ones say those like really important words. And I'm hoping to branch out and create like maybe a Nana, a Papa, you know, lots of different ones, but this is the thing I'm most excited about probably right now in this moment.
00:37:36
Speaker
Yeah. And I was going to ask, I'm glad you told me those, because I was like, maybe is it a secret? Can I know about the future? Can we know about the future books? But I'm so excited. And I love that I can say, Mama, you sent them to me. So I got them ahead. But the I can say Mama book, I was reading it with my four month, three month old nephew. And like, I'm like, he's going to say Mama in like one month for sure.
00:38:02
Speaker
But I love that there's not a lot of words on those pages. That's like one of the biggest tips I give in my baby class is like, you don't actually have to read every word on the page and your baby doesn't have to sit still. And so your books are like literally perfect. Thank you.
00:38:19
Speaker
I love knowing what everyone's favorite pages are because I think babies and a lot of toddlers really do use my books that way. They all, parents tell me, oh, like all day long, he's just saying shh or rar. And so it's been really fun because I take the favorites and I put them in the subsequent books too in different ways.
00:38:38
Speaker
If you have, uh, if you learn of any favorites or you have any ideas for themes, send them my way because my publisher is just sort of like, let's, let's really help families. Um, you know, these tools. And they're so good. I, I think I have them listed in my Amazon shop, but is there a better way for people to get them? Is that.
00:38:58
Speaker
They're everywhere. They're in Barnes and Noble. They're in independent bookstores. I always say shop independent. Yes. Yes. They're on my favorite baby list that you can print out. But like, I feel like everyone's all I have, like you, there's so many followers from all over the world that I'm like, okay, fine. I'll do it. Here's your Amazon store.
00:39:16
Speaker
They're on Amazon Target, Walmart. And the, I can say, data book actually is going to be popping up in Target for their Father's Day promotion. So if you happen upon it there, that would be really exciting if that's where you decided to get it. That's amazing. I'm not really sure how that's happening, but I'm really excited. But there's also, again, there are in lots of independent bookstores that support me and my work, and I love sending people there.
00:39:44
Speaker
You know what, Beth? My books are also in libraries. So I tell parents, you don't have to buy anything. You can go to the library. Lots of libraries have them. I keep getting pictures from people saying, look what I found. You can request books if they don't have them in your library. You can request that they carry them. So that's a really accessible way to find them.
00:40:03
Speaker
That's so good. And I love the library. I just partnered with the library last year and we're doing like they, the Chicago Public Libraries are doing amazing things with like the science of reading development. They want all of their librarians to have like the knowledge and the research. And I've gotten to speak with them and they're also like changing their books. So I'm sure they're at Chicago Public Library, but definitely request because they're so in line with like the developmental milestones of the pre-reading skills. So we love libraries.
00:40:32
Speaker
We love the library. Oh my gosh. Thank you for being here. This was so fun. And I can't wait to see all of the books that come out. I can't believe you already have four and there's more coming. It's, it's, it's a little strange. I do a lot of like pinching myself, but I'm, I'm very lucky. I'm having a lot of fun. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Oh my gosh. It was so fun. Will you come back? I always ask if it was fun. Will you come back tomorrow?
00:40:58
Speaker
Yes, of course. Yay. Oh my gosh. Okay. Well, Stephanie Cohen, learn to talk with me, get all of her books. We'll link them in the show notes. Thank you. Yay.