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Guest Kimberly Coffin: Work-Life Balance & Confronting PPD {Episode 10}
147 Plays6 years ago
Today's episode is our very first guest interview! We are thrilled to introduce you to Kimberly Coffin, the amazingly talented blogger and YouTuber behind Sweet Red Poppy.
Kim reveals how she manages to run a successful blog, including creating gorgeous crafting videos, with 3 small children at home and a traveling husband. We also talk about her heartbreaking struggle with prenatal and postpartum depression and anxiety. Be prepared for a good laugh AND cry as Kim opens up about her struggles, successes and finding the help she needed to enjoy motherhood again.
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Transcript
Introduction to Outnumber the Podcast
00:00:11
Speaker
Hello and welcome to Outnumber the Podcast. I'm Bonnie. And I'm Audrey. And we're moms to a combined total of 16 kids with two more on the way. Yes, we know that sounds insane, and it usually is. But we're here to share the tips that help us keep our sanity and to share inspiring thoughts that help us get through each crazy day. Uninterrupted conversation is foreign to us, but we'll try. And we invite you to join us on our journey as we find joy in the chaos of motherhood.
Guest Introduction: Kimberly Coffin
00:00:47
Speaker
Hey everybody, we're back today for another episode and we are so excited for this one because it is our very first guest episode, yay. Yeah, every 10th episode we decided to do something a little different, a little special for you guys. So this is episode 10 and that's our first special episode for you.
00:01:05
Speaker
That's right. Today we're going to be interviewing Kimberly Coffin, who is the very talented blogger and YouTuber over at Sweet Red Poppy. So Audrey and I know her through sewing in the blogging world, obviously, but we have come to love her cute personality, her sweet disposition, and her amazing talent in the craft world.
00:01:24
Speaker
So Kim is a mom of three. Like I said, she has a blog and an amazingly successful YouTube channel. And she's going to share some of her tips for work life balance as a mom, as well as some personal struggles for finding the joy in motherhood. And she is an amazing example of this. Yes, I can't wait to hear everything she has to say. And she is going to open things up by sharing her very own insane
A Humorous Motherhood Story
00:01:47
Speaker
mom moment today. So take it away, Kim.
00:01:49
Speaker
Okay. Well, I have a fun one. It has to do with poop. I'm sorry. It always has to do with poop, right? This is a clean podcast, but it does involve poop. So when my kids were, when they were, oh, let's see, I think I had a
00:02:13
Speaker
two and a half year old, one year old and a newborn. We were driving across the country to a wedding and my husband and I were in the front seat and we heard a noise and we both looked in the back like, what was that noise?
00:02:29
Speaker
We didn't know what it was. And then all of a sudden my baby starts crying. And so I look back and her, let's see, so her car seat was facing backwards. And so I just kind of prop her up a little and there is poop everywhere.
00:02:48
Speaker
And it was up to her chest. Not only had it gone up her back, it had gone up her stomach and her chest. It was everywhere. So I'm like, Josh, Josh, oh my goodness, there's poop everywhere. She had not pooped in four or five days. And I said, we have to pull over. And of course, there's nowhere to pull over. We're on the highway.
00:03:09
Speaker
Then there's just nowhere. We're in the middle of nowhere. And so we keep driving for a few minutes and I'm like, you have to find somewhere. I have to clean her. This poor child discovered in Orange Group. Finally, we see an exit and there's cows. There's cows everywhere. I've never seen so many cows in my life. It's a cow farm.
00:03:28
Speaker
And so I'm like, pull off there, we have to pull off. Bro, we have to clean her. And so we pull over and there's this huge electricity tower that's running over us and it's like, and it feels very like we're in like a sci-fi movie. And so we open up the door and I get out in a swarm of flies, like more flies than you have ever seen in your life because it is a cow farm.
00:03:52
Speaker
come into our car and they just like latch onto my baby. All of us. She's covered in poop.
00:04:00
Speaker
And so I'm getting her out, and I'm swatting flies, and Josh, my husband, is swatting flies. And we're trying to change her diaper, and there are flies everywhere. And my poor daughter, who at the time is two or three, she's crying, just screaming because she thinks that they're bees. They're going to attack her, yeah. Bees are going to get me. And we're doing our best to change this diaper as quickly as we can, but we're literally being swarmed by flies.
00:04:30
Speaker
So we finally get the diaper changed and we put it in a trash bag and we have it in the car and there's still flies swarming it. Oh my goodness. And we're driving with the windows open.
00:04:42
Speaker
So many flies. I'm really impressed that you held on to that diaper. I think I would have done the irresponsible thing it just left. Eventually, we were a little bit irresponsible with it, because we couldn't do the flies. And it took a half an hour to get all the flies out of our corner, driving with the windows down, swatting them. Oh my goodness. It was, it was too much. Oh my gosh, that is hilarious.
00:05:07
Speaker
Well, you know, thank you for sharing that. I'm sure there's another mother somewhere that's going to be grateful for her own poop story. That's not one of my proudest moments. But you survived way to go. We're all the better for it. That's right. We're just going to launch right into some questions we have for you and get to know you a little bit better.
Balancing Work and Motherhood
00:05:27
Speaker
Wonderful. In our introduction episode, we each shared our most favorite and least favorite parts of motherhood. And we want to hear that from you too.
00:05:38
Speaker
Oh, my least favorite, changing diapers. We are almost out of changing diapers. I almost have my two and a half year old potty trained and I am just counting down the days until I am done changing diapers. You're so lucky. Good for you. I mean, unless we have another one.
00:06:01
Speaker
I'm looking forward to it. How many did you have in diapers at one time? I had three in diapers at one time. Lucky girl. You guys can relate to that though. I think I've only had two in diapers at one time. Oh, yours are spaced out more. So they are. How about you, Bonnie? Oh, that's a good question. Um, I don't know, but I've had at least two in diapers since
00:06:30
Speaker
2010.
00:06:34
Speaker
That one you had your twins plus another one. Yeah. So we had, well, it was actually before the twins we had a, we had a foster daughter. So her and my youngest at the time were in diapers and then we had the twins and there were three and then we did two or three on and off for the last eight years. And so I guess just when Mimi was potty trained last year, yeah, we went down to one and it's been pretty great. Wow. It's nice. Okay. So get this, I've had somebody in diapers for 20 years.
00:07:02
Speaker
Audrey wins. What's my prize, a dirty diaper? Perpetually chapped hands. Okay, so your favorite part, Kim? Oh, my favorite part is watching them learn. The most rewarding and fulfilling is when they learn something new and you see the joy in their face as they are learning.
00:07:31
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Those light bulbs go on. Yes, that's my favorite. Oh, that's a good one. I like that. Okay, so our next question for you is work related. So we love your blog, Sweet Red Poppy. And your blog and business and YouTube has just grown so crazy over the last year or so. And we just wanted to ask how you make sure that work is a priority for you, even when you're busy with three little kids.
00:07:57
Speaker
Yes, it is hard to manage all of it, but I find that making a list and a schedule every single morning is really helpful. Just listing out what my priorities are for each and every day. That's really helpful. You can prioritize the things that I need to be doing as a mother as well as owning a business and just make sure that I'm getting everything done each day.
00:08:22
Speaker
Yeah, so what happens when you just have like a crazy day with the kids and you said you like to work at night, right? Yes, I do like to work at night. So once my kids are down, then I am just completely focused on work. But if I have a crazy day and my husband travels a lot for work, so there are a lot of crazy nights where he's gone and out of town and I have three little ones who don't want to sleep and I have work that needs to get done.
00:08:49
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. And that's hard. I have found some really amazing babysitters from church. So some younger girls
00:08:59
Speaker
around 16 years old and that's huge when I know I have a big project coming up and I will schedule a babysitter and my kids love it because it's fun. They get to play with someone. Something different, right? Yeah, something different, something fun for them. So usually I will go to the store actually today or tomorrow, sorry, tomorrow I have one scheduled. And so today I went to the store and I bought a box of Play-Doh and they have a babysitter coming tomorrow and I have some work I have to get done.
00:09:29
Speaker
And so it's kind of fun for them, then it's fun for me. Yeah, smart. So do you have a sitter or a nanny come regularly or is that just if you get overwhelmed or behind? Yes, so I do have a nanny once a week that comes for, well, actually I dropped my kids off at her house for about five hours and that has been a huge help just to have a solid block of time where I'm able to focus solely on work.
00:09:57
Speaker
that makes a big difference. But before, when I was just starting my blog and not really making enough money to justify having a nanny, I just had to be really, really careful with my time. So being really on top of everything, home life wise, making sure that meals were cooked in a timely fashion and making sure that I wasn't
00:10:19
Speaker
wasting too much time because every minute matters. Yeah. Yeah. When you're trying to grow a business. So it sounds like you've got kind of a rhythm and kind of got it figured out, but do you ever find yourself becoming like a workaholic, like too strict with your schedule or with yourself? Yes. Something that I struggle with because the personality type that I have, I'm just all or nothing. And so I find it hard sometimes to divide my focus.
00:10:47
Speaker
And I think that's one of the things I struggle with the most with trying to be a really good mother and trying to run a great business is giving enough attention to both of those. So I'm always I'm constantly reevaluating my priorities each and every day.
00:11:05
Speaker
you know, speaking to myself inside of my head saying, did I do a good enough job on this task as being a mother? And did I give enough to my blog and make sure that it's growing enough? So that's hard. It's, I think it's a daily challenge for me and something that I constantly reevaluate. Yeah. So when you've done a reevaluation and you find like you're a little bit off to too much work, Holly or not enough, you know, mom time or whatever, what do you do to recenter your priority priorities?
00:11:34
Speaker
Well, it depends on which side I'm lacking on with my kids. If I feel that I haven't been giving them enough time or attention, usually we'll plan something fun. So I love taking my kids out to do activities.
00:11:49
Speaker
there's a local bounce house or a trampoline place that we love to go to. So usually we'll plan something fun so that I'm able to spend more quality time with them, but also it's a fun activity. And that's an easy way for us to kind of recenter as a family, make it fun again. Yeah. And show them that they are a priority. Yeah, kind of reconnect with your kids.
00:12:12
Speaker
And one of the other things my husband and I have implemented since I started working is we have individual dates with our kids. And so once or twice a month, we try to take each child on an individual date, and it doesn't have to be something elaborate or extravagant. It can be something small, like going on a trip to Walmart with just one child, giving them 100% of your attention, just being fully present with them.
00:12:40
Speaker
and finding out what's going on in their life and allowing them to talk about what's important to them without any of their siblings yelling over them. Yeah, that makes them feel really special, doesn't it? Yes. And I found that that makes a huge difference for us.
00:12:56
Speaker
Yeah, I love that idea. I was just on Instagram, somebody I follow mentioned that one of the biggest factors in building a child's confidence is how much time they get to spend with a parent because then it shows the child that the parent cares about them. Instead of just saying, oh, you're wonderful, you're doing such a good job, the words don't mean as much as that time together.
00:13:18
Speaker
And sometimes you just don't have time to spend a big fancy date with them or one-on-one time, but yeah, just to do something ordinary that you had to do anyway, but to take a kid along, I think that's a great idea. Yes. Even something as simple as running to McDonald's with one child in the car and just letting them know that they have your full attention and that they are so important to you that you want to spend one-on-one time with them.
00:13:42
Speaker
That makes a big difference. When I notice that one of my children is having a hard time, which is usually directly correlated to the amount of time I have been giving up. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. That's one of the ways that we just reel it back in. Oh, I love that. Okay, so our next question for you is, what would you say that a typical week looks like as far as time spent with your family and kids versus work versus household obligations? Can you just give us a quick little rundown?
00:14:12
Speaker
So what my typical week looks like. So my two youngest are in preschool. So they go three times a week for two hours. So I have a little break during that time that I spend with my youngest. That's when we get our one-on-one time. And then once my kids come home, we usually have quiet slash nap time, depending on age.
00:14:35
Speaker
So my four and five year old have quiet time and my two and a half year old has a much needed nap. And I will usually work during that time and my kids know that that time is important for mommy to have quiet time so that she can get her work done. And I try to put it in terms that they'll understand like if mommy works, mommy makes money and she's able to provide things that are fun for us.
00:15:01
Speaker
She's able to help pay for the house. And so they have a pretty good understanding. I feel like for a four and five year old that mommy's doing, that it's not, it's not that they aren't important, but it's that I have specific time each day where I need to focus on work. And they're very helpful. They remind me each day, mom, it's time for me to work. And so I will work for about an hour or two while we have quiet time, play time.
00:15:28
Speaker
usually like to set something up while I'm working for them. So my daughter loves to draw or color. So I set up crafts for them to work on.
00:15:37
Speaker
And then once they've gone to bed in the evening, then I work. So usually about 7.30 to midnight, I'm working every night. Oh my gosh. I am a night owl, which was not true for the majority of my life. But now, how did I have kids? I have found I am quite the night owl. Whatever it takes to make it work, right? It's been quiet time.
00:16:05
Speaker
That's the time that I'm able to best focus. I know some people find it's helpful to get up before your kids. My kids like to get up early, so you're at nighttime to do my work. Yeah. You know, I've struggled with that too because I don't
00:16:20
Speaker
necessarily function particularly awesome at night. But the thing is, if you get your kids to bed at 7 38, even nine, you could have three or four hours of work at night. Whereas if you get up before them, you might have an hour or two unless you're getting at three in the morning.
00:16:36
Speaker
And I feel like in the mornings, I'm just nervous like, oh, when are they going to wake up? I only have a few minutes. My work is just not as good when I'm worried about whether or not they're going to be waking up soon. Right. Yeah, exactly. And then when they're teenagers, they'll be staying up that late with you, but they won't need the same kind of one-on-one that they need now. I mean, the kind of attention you'll be giving them changes and it won't be, it'll be easier as far as running a business.
00:17:06
Speaker
Uh-huh. Yeah, that's the worst part about having a teenager now for me is that, dang, I want to go to bed at 10 sometimes. And do I trust you to leave you awake? I don't know. What are you going to do? You can't drive anywhere, so.
Struggles with Postpartum Depression
00:17:20
Speaker
So we wanna switch gears a little bit here and you've talked to you about a different subject. So you've talked about your struggle with postpartum depression and we will put a direct link to that post in our show notes, but we're wanting to talk to you about that topic a little bit. So the first question is, did you experience this with like more than just one of your children or the last?
00:17:46
Speaker
Yes, so that's a great question. I have experienced postpartum depression and anxiety. I think what is more well known as postpartum depression, but what I struggled with the most was actually the anxiety side of it. And I did struggle with it with all three of my children. It was undiagnosed with my first two children. I didn't know what it was.
00:18:11
Speaker
I knew that something was wrong, but there wasn't as much information on postpartum anxiety at the time. And it just was undiagnosed. It wasn't something that my doctor noticed or that I was able to figure out. It wasn't until I had my third child.
00:18:29
Speaker
And I had my children very close together, which I think played into the effect that it had on me. Yeah, you couldn't recover. Yeah. Yes, I didn't have time to recover. So I had Madeline while I was, let's see, I was in college. And then when she was four months old, I found out I was pregnant with my next one.
00:18:49
Speaker
Which was a surprise, yay! We're so grateful for him, but he was very much a surprise. And I was still earning my degree. So then I did graduate from college and I had him. And then, let's see, when he was nine months old, I decided, we decided that we wanted to have another baby. So they are, yep, they are,
00:19:19
Speaker
18 months apart. So 13 months and 18 months. So I did have three under three at one time. And so I do think that that played into it. I had a lot
00:19:33
Speaker
on my plate at once. I wasn't sleeping for multiple years, not getting enough rest. After I had my third, it was about six months after I had her when it really was at its all-time high. Can you share with our listeners what symptoms you are experiencing? Yes, I can.
00:20:01
Speaker
made me seek help. It's hard to share because it was so, so scary. But I share because I hope that it will help someone else. I was having thoughts, terrible thoughts, invasive thoughts about hurting my children.
00:20:29
Speaker
thoughts that I knew were not my own but because they were so repetitive over and over and over and as hard as I was trying to keep those thoughts out of my head they would just come back in and my breaking point was
00:20:45
Speaker
I was driving my kids to my oldest to preschool one day. All three kids were in the car. And the thought just kept pounding in my head to drive my car into oncoming traffic. Oh my gosh. I'm sorry.
00:21:06
Speaker
And it was all real to me. It was just, it felt like someone's voice just saying over and over, the only way to stop this is to do this. And I knew that wasn't true and I pulled over and I cried and I had a
Seeking Help and Mental Health Journey
00:21:22
Speaker
panic attack. And at that point I was having multiple panic attacks every single day and they were crippling. They were so bad that I,
00:21:31
Speaker
I wasn't leaving the house, I wasn't speaking to my friends. I had just pulled back socially from everything because I was so scared of having a panic attack in front of someone else. And I knew after that that I needed to get help because I was so mentally exhausted from fighting those invasive thoughts over and over and over.
00:21:56
Speaker
I knew I couldn't do it anymore. I wasn't sleeping at night because the thoughts would continue all throughout the night. And it wasn't just about harming my children. I also had thoughts I felt that nothing was safe. So my own home I felt was unsafe for my children. The ceiling fan I was convinced was going to fall down and hurt someone. Every normal item in my home had become my greatest fear.
00:22:24
Speaker
It's hard to explain, but I share it because I know that other people have experienced it and I hope that they will get the help that they need.
00:22:34
Speaker
Yeah, we really, really appreciate your honesty and straightforwardness in sharing. And I'm familiar with the symptoms of perinatal anxiety, which I shared on the maternity sewing podcast. And again, I felt like you do kind of vulnerable about sharing, but like if it helped just one person, that that was the right thing to do. And so we really, really appreciate you sharing.
00:23:04
Speaker
Thank you, Audrey. And I did, I will say, I did experience the perinatal depression and anxiety while I was pregnant. One of my doctors did try to tell me that something wasn't quite right. And I just brushed it aside because I felt like I was too busy. I didn't have time to deal with what he was saying. And I just thought, oh, I'm just pregnant. Go away. Once I have the baby, I'll feel better.
00:23:32
Speaker
And it didn't. I didn't listen to the warning signs because I studied marriage and family therapy in school and I thought I knew better. And I think anyone is susceptible. If you're having children, you're susceptible to this. Even if you're not, you're susceptible to depression and anxiety and you have to be willing to look at yourself and evaluate what's going on in your life and see.
00:24:02
Speaker
See what's going on. It's hard though. Yeah, no kidding. So my question is for you is then, you said that it was like the mental exhaustion that made you finally want to get help. Did you feel like you were fighting against that urge to get help for a while? Like, oh, I
00:24:18
Speaker
I'm fine or was it just finally like, I can't handle this anymore. I know there's something wrong because I've heard that people struggle with just kind of being outside of yourself, like not being able to have a very realistic third party observation of yourself. Does that make sense? Yes, that totally makes sense and I did struggle with that.
00:24:41
Speaker
At first, I wasn't very self-aware of what was going on, and I think a big part of that was exhaustion. The fact that I wasn't sleeping, I wasn't able to be very self-aware. I knew something was wrong because I was experiencing panic attacks multiple times a day, but I didn't know what they were. I didn't know that I was experiencing a panic attack.
00:25:05
Speaker
They are mentally and emotionally draining. And so I think that just got to a point where I figured something is just wrong because here I was. I had everything I had ever wanted. I had three beautiful babies, a wonderful husband. He had a great job. We had a wonderful home. I loved where we lived. I had great friends, amazing friends, and yet I had no joy. The joy in my life had just vanished.
00:25:34
Speaker
I think that's when I realized something was wrong when I had everything I ever wanted and yet I just felt so empty and I knew that that wasn't me. I knew that the anger and the anger, there was a lot of anger apparently, plus part of anxiety can manifest itself with large amounts of anger and I had never been an angry person and suddenly I was filled with so much anger.
00:26:02
Speaker
that it was scary. It was so scary to me. And that's when I realized something wasn't right.
00:26:09
Speaker
Yeah. So awesome that you did finally. I'm so happy for you. Yeah. Do you still deal with lasting repercussions from this struggle? I do. I had hoped that it would be short and temporary and that medication would be able to fix it. But here we are two years later and I still have some lasting repercussions from it.
00:26:34
Speaker
I still have panic attacks if I'm not careful. So the panic attacks come if I overscheduled myself and I'm not sleeping enough, then I will have those symptoms again. So I do have to be really careful with work because as much as I want to grow my blog and my business, if I push too hard, then those symptoms come back full force. Oh goodness. That's just not worth it. Yeah, no kidding.
00:27:04
Speaker
So I wanted to ask, what advice would you give anyone listening, any other mom or woman in general who might suspect that they're dealing with real depression, real clinical depression?
00:27:16
Speaker
That's a great question, Bonnie. If you think that you are dealing with depression or anxiety in general or related to postpartum, please, please, please seek professional medical attention. That is the best thing that you can do for yourself, is to find a healthcare provider that can help you. And then on top of that, there are so many things that you can do from home. I changed my diet pretty significantly, and I found that that was very helpful.
00:27:45
Speaker
and eliminating some of the things that were causing inflammation on my body, which was causing more stress in my life. I also started exercising daily, which I know is so hard when you're feeling depression. The last thing you want to do is get off the couch and go exercise. Yes, exactly. Just something small, add a little bit of walking to your schedule or just encourage yourself to walk around the house a little bit more just to get your body moving.
00:28:12
Speaker
Another thing I did was to get a little bit more sunshine in my life. So I just started sitting outside in the sun and it does wonders. And my husband truly was instrumental in my success in overcoming this. I couldn't have done it without him and the support that he gave me and so much of
00:28:40
Speaker
the weight that was on my shoulders, he was able to bear that burden for me while I worked to better myself, while I worked to heal. So he would take the children at night and he would make sure that I got the sleep that I needed. And he would schedule babysitters so that I would have just a little bit of a break. It's so hard as a mom. You don't have any time to yourself. So it was,
00:29:08
Speaker
There were so many different things that we did and they all added up to helping me get to a place where I felt normal again. Did he notice any of these symptoms while you were struggling or did you have to come to him and say, this is what's happening to me? I would be concerned that that conversation would be hard to have, or did he notice that things were not right? He noticed that things weren't right. My husband is very emotionally intelligent.
00:29:35
Speaker
He definitely noticed that something was wrong. But so much of the battle that I was having was inside my own head. It was the invasive thoughts that just come and come and come and come. And so he didn't know what the thoughts were because I hadn't told him. And I was so ashamed and embarrassed to tell him the things that I was thinking, those terrible thoughts.
00:30:00
Speaker
but they were so real at the time. They were completely real to me. And so it did take a little courage just to tell him how I was feeling because I didn't want him to lose his trust or his faith in me. That was something I prided myself on was being able to have it all together and do everything. So I had to humble myself and tell him, you know, this is what I'm dealing with. He was so understanding and so helpful.
00:30:28
Speaker
Um, and just such a support to me, we were telling anyone who's experiencing the same is, is to, to speak with those around you and to build a support group. I think that is.
00:30:45
Speaker
that makes the biggest difference is just having those around you be aware of what's going on. Yeah, that's exactly one of the things that we recommend in our episode on when you want to quit. And we talked about the exact thing, like reaching out to your loved one or to somebody who can help you. And then just the relief that comes with it and feeling like, ah, why didn't I do this sooner?
00:31:07
Speaker
Yes, and I know it's so hard. I know so many of us want to do everything ourselves and have no weaknesses. I am a perfectionist. Oh my goodness. I want to be perfect all the time and do everything and I like to be the one helping everybody else. And so it was really hard for me to reach out to my friends and tell my husband how I was feeling.
00:31:30
Speaker
It was one of the only ways that I was able to get better. You mentioned inflammation, and so you were having some other health problems going on. What were your symptoms besides the inflammation? I was. I think about my sophomore year of high school, I developed chronic daily headaches. I had had a headache or a migraine every single day, and it typically lasts all day long.
00:31:55
Speaker
And I'd been to doctor and doctor and doctor and just hadn't found anything. We hadn't found a reason why I was having those issues. Um, and so those, those issues continued on through me having children. And, um, after my second child, after my little boy, I was just looking for a way to lose weight actually. And I came across, um, whole 30 and it's,
00:32:21
Speaker
an elimination diet where you take out all the foods that cause elimination in the body. So grains, dairy, sugar, those types of things, any processed foods. So I did that and
00:32:36
Speaker
lost a bunch of weight, but I also found out that I had some food allergies with that sensitivity. So I found out through that process that I had food allergies, food sensitivities, I did some genetic testing, found out that I have some genetic mutations which make it a little bit harder for my body to process chemicals and to release toxins.
00:33:01
Speaker
So that is another side of when I'm not eating right, when I'm eating foods that cause inflammation in my body, my depression does tend to come back. Isn't that interesting how it's all related? Wow. It's very related. Wow. Okay. So you just got lucky then that you just randomly tried this diet for a different reason and ended up solving a bunch of problems.
00:33:22
Speaker
complete luck. And at first I was in denial because who wants to give up bread? I read your post the other day was at your Instagram post where you said you still dream about bread and cakes and cookies. Oh my goodness. I was so bad when I figured it out. I was like, no.
00:33:39
Speaker
to come to terms with the fact that I couldn't have bread every day. It's still hard. I'm still dealing with that. So was bread the hardest part or what was the hardest part of making diet changes?
00:33:58
Speaker
Brad was the hardest part. I know it's silly, but that you have dietary restrictions. And Bonnie, I know your son has some. It can be very isolating because it makes family gatherings and friend events and everybody. So much of our culture is centered around eating food and it can be isolating when you can't partake and you can't be part of that.
00:34:24
Speaker
And that was hard for me because I love to bake. Oh, I just I could make anything like cakes and pizzas and pastries and I love to bake.
00:34:37
Speaker
So that was hard, coming to terms with the fact that that part of my life was just no longer an option. But do you feel like it's been worth it for better health and improvement? Yes. Just having mental clarity and not waking up an immense amount of pain every day, it's totally worth it.
00:34:58
Speaker
Yeah, and when you make drastic changes like that, it has to be something big, right? I mean, people try to eliminate things just because they think for one reason or another, but unless it really, really affects you, it's hard to have the motivation to do that day in, day out, but how awesome that you've been able to feel the difference and go, yeah, it's not worth it to me.
Advice for Aspiring Mom Entrepreneurs
00:35:18
Speaker
Yeah, so I haven't had it in three, four years. Yeah, long time. Good for you.
00:35:28
Speaker
I'm impressed that you've been able to find all these solutions. That's awesome. But I still want a donut. Well, maybe your next project, you know, when you're done crafting or something can be...
00:35:43
Speaker
the most amazing gluten-free donut. Just let me know. It replaces it. Oh yeah, for sure. Okay, so just shifting gears a little bit, I want to ask you what you think your biggest weakness as a mom is, especially to young kids. I know that's a unique kind of situation is when they need you so much all the time. So what would you say your biggest weakness is?
00:36:07
Speaker
So I mentioned earlier that I struggle with perfectionism. I think so often I just expect my children to just listen the first time and do it perfectly. I'm not always as patient as I need to be with them and understanding that
00:36:27
Speaker
These years are filled with so much growth and so much learning and that they learn from making mistakes and they aren't going to listen the first time I ask them. So I think that's one of the things I struggle with is just being understanding and not expecting perfection from them. Yeah, I think we all struggle with that for sure. I'm like, it's easy for me to do. Why can't you just do it the first time? Why is it so difficult?
00:36:57
Speaker
Yeah, that's totally me too, patience. What would you say is your greatest strength as a mom? My greatest strength as a mother, that's a hard one. I think one of my strengths as a mother is
00:37:13
Speaker
I'm realizing how different my children are and how to parent them in an effective way that works with their personality. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, Bonnie and I have often talked about how each child is different and has changed us and how they need different
00:37:35
Speaker
I don't know. I guess we can both say that with so many kids, eight kids each, that one thing we can say for certain for every kid is that nothing works for every one of them. Does that make sense?
00:37:49
Speaker
You two have both experienced that so much. And I know you mentioned it in one of the earlier podcasts, just that the same thing doesn't work for every child. And I think that's so true. But coming to terms with that is a little bit hard. Realizing that your approach sometimes needs to change depending on the child that you're working with.
00:38:07
Speaker
Well, and I would say especially if you have a child or two that is very much like you, they might be a lot easier to parent or it might be simpler to parent them because it's more intuitive to how you work. And then you get a child who's not like you at all. And all of a sudden you're pulling your hair out because you're thinking, what is wrong with you?
00:38:23
Speaker
Why don't you just do things like this kid or this kid? But it doesn't mean there's something wrong with them. It just means that they're different. And it's our job to figure that out and to find the solution. And it is not always easy. You know, especially if you think the way they do things is the wrong way. It's just a different way.
00:38:43
Speaker
Oh, that's so funny. I think it's interesting having children and seeing some of your own personality in them and realizing new things about yourself. I never realized how stubborn I was until I had my oldest and like, wow, I am incredibly stubborn. And I see it in her. Yeah. My oldest is definitely a carbon copy of me in personality and now he's 13. I'm like, this is awful.
00:39:11
Speaker
like me at all. My five-year-old, she is very strong-willed and I hope that it will serve her well one day. She ends up, you know, a leader of a Fortune 500 company and not a prison gang. That's what we all say. Okay, so we have one final question to wrap up. Any advice for other moms who are looking to start a blog or a business who really want to, you know,
00:39:37
Speaker
try to make some money off their passions, but are just scared to do it. My advice for mothers who are looking to start a blog or a business is to believe in themselves, to believe in their vision, and to work hard to achieve their goals. I truly believe that if you
00:39:57
Speaker
are willing to put in the work, you can achieve anything, especially if you believe in yourself. And I would say to find your tribe, so find people that are like-minded and
00:40:09
Speaker
work with them to better yourselves as a group, as a whole. I think that has been instrumental in my success is finding other like-minded people that I can bounce ideas off of. Bonnie, you've been one of those for me, and I've been so grateful. So I would encourage them, believe in yourself, work hard, and find people who understand what your vision is. That's awesome advice. Thank you. Yeah, that's perfect. I love it.
00:40:37
Speaker
Well, those are all the questions we have for Kim. Kim, we are so grateful that you're here today. Thank you so much for taking the time and opening up to us. We know that it's going to be really helpful for lots of moms out there. Thank you. Thank you for having me. It was so fun getting to chat with both of you. And can you tell our listeners where they can find you on the internet?
00:40:54
Speaker
Yes. So you can find me at sweetredpoppy, my blog is sweetredpoppy.com or my handle is just sweetredpoppy on all of my social platforms. Great. Thanks so much. Thank you. Bye.
00:41:10
Speaker
Thanks so much for listening to Outnumbered the Podcast. You can contact us at outnumberedthepodcastatgmail.com and find us on Instagram at outnumberedthepodcast. We're so grateful for our listeners and would love it if you take the time to leave us an honest review on iTunes, Stitcher, or any other podcast platform. And don't forget to share the podcast with your mom friends. Can't wait to talk next time. Bye.