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7 Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage
642 Plays2 years ago
First of all, let us say thank you for choosing this episode! We're really delighted that you are interested in strengthening your marriage. In this episode, we share 7 of our favorite ways to strengthened our marriages. If you're looking for ways to make your marriage better than ever before, we're here for you!
Mentioned in this episode:
Be sure to grab our FREE episode guide outlining all our marriage episodes, we mention quite a few of them today.
Jordan Page of The Page Company
About Outnumbered the Podcast:
Two moms, parenting a combined total of 19 kids and finding joy in the chaos.
Join Audrey and Bonnie as they share real parenting tips for real people through humor, advice and compassion.
Whether it's tackling how to teach kids to work or discussing where to turn when you're all out of patience,
these two experienced moms are here to offer authentic tips for raising children joyfully.
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Transcript
Revitalizing Marriages: Introduction
00:00:00
Speaker
Hey everybody, welcome to today's episode. We're really glad you're here. Do you wish that your marriage was stronger or do you ever think about the time and wish you could go back to the time when you were dating and your marriage was that, your relationship was that strong? If you do, we have an episode for you today.
00:00:18
Speaker
We are bringing seven concrete tips to you guys to help your marriage get to the best it's ever been. Think the dreaminess of your first honeymoon with the maturity of the wonderful people you've become now. So let's dive in.
Meet Audrey and Bonnie: Parenting with Humor
00:00:38
Speaker
Hello and welcome to Outnumbered the Podcast. I'm Audrey. And I'm Bonnie. We are experienced moms to a combined total of 19 children. In our weekly episodes, we explore relatable topics using our perspectives of humor and chaos. Tune in for advice and encouragement to gain more joy in your parenting journey.
Laughter in Marriage: A Humorous Tale
00:01:03
Speaker
Okay, I have got to start you guys off with a hilarious humor segment about marriages because that's what we're talking about today. My husband is a jokester. He loves to make people laugh and I love to laugh with him, so it's a good match. But he loves to poke fun at me sometimes and I have a...
00:01:18
Speaker
pretty poor memory. And so very often he can play the same joke on me multiple times. And so one time I remember just kind of teasing him about how, oh, you never listened to me. And he said, what? And I said, I said, you never listened to me. And he just laughed and laughed and laughed, right? That was the joke, right? What? He has since played that same joke on me no fewer than three times. And I fall for it every single time. Like,
00:01:44
Speaker
I guess it sounds like I talk a lot about how he doesn't listen to me, but the topic just comes up right about how women need to talk more and men just listen more. Anyway, and just the other day he said it again and I didn't fall for it and I'm so proud of myself for finally figuring it out. But guys, laughter. Laughter is important in a marriage for sure. As long as you're not laughing at each other. If you're laughing together at one of you, that's fine. Right. Pause for a question here. When's the last time you heard your spouse laugh or when's the last time you made your spouse laugh?
00:02:14
Speaker
Like, yeah, okay, alright, time out. I gotta go look up some good jokes to tell my husband. Yeah, yeah, totally. Not engineered jokes though, because he doesn't think those are very funny.
00:02:28
Speaker
Are there funny engineer jokes? I think engineer jokes are hilarious. He doesn't. So okay.
Why Prioritize Marriage? The Pie Plate Analogy
00:02:35
Speaker
Okay guys, today we have seven tips for taking your marriage. Oh, I don't know what to call it. Like to the next level beyond roommate status or just like making a stronger marriage. So like basically what you had as your goal when you were dating, that's what we're going to be talking about today.
00:02:55
Speaker
Yes, that deeper connection, right? Especially once kids start coming to your family, you throw kids in the mix and everything changes, right? So we're going to be talking about these ways to get to that next level, deepen, strengthen that relationship, maybe something that was very easy for you when you were first married or before you had kids, but maybe a little bit trickier now. And you probably know
00:03:17
Speaker
When these tactics are needed right very often we go through cycles, right? Where we feel really connected and like we have a really strong marriage and then another cycle where we feel kind of disconnected So it's times like that that you'll want to implement these tips, right? Right. So we hope you find something relatable in these tips today And we do just want to mention that we have so many episodes on marriage now. We're getting way up there We have an episode guide you can go grab that on marriage so you can see them all in one place But you guys they this
00:03:46
Speaker
With all of our episodes on marriage, the goal is to have a healthier, stronger
Marriage vs. Parenting: The Foundational Debate
00:03:50
Speaker
marriage. So that's just what we're going for today also. All right, these tips are not really in any order, so we're just gonna throw them at you. Tip number one, make your marriage a priority. No, not a priority, the priority.
00:04:05
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. A lot of people don't want to hear that. For some reason, when we talk about families, we talk about parenting way more often than we talk about the marital relationship. In my experience, maybe it's just because I'm in the thick of raising kids, but I hear that all the time. How to improve your relationship with your kids, how to bond with your kids, how to be a better parent.
00:04:22
Speaker
But that marriage relationship, if that falls apart, the whole family falls apart. If we don't prioritize it, it could eventually fail and then everything becomes much, much harder, including the parenting aspect of things. So I have this analogy that I know I've shared before.
00:04:36
Speaker
But it is what I like to call the pie plate analogy. So if you think of your life as a pie, you have different slices of that pie. You have your kids, you have your hobby, you have your job, you have your house or maintaining your possessions, entertainment, friends, et cetera, et cetera.
00:04:52
Speaker
But we have to ask ourselves what the pie plate is. I like to tell myself that in my life, generally, I look at it as my faith, right? But when it comes to your family, the pie plate is probably your marriage, right? And then inside is the kids and the chores and the house and the relationships, whatever.
00:05:12
Speaker
If that is strong, then everything stays together. If it's not everything, you know, you've seen a banana cream pie without a plate. I don't know if that's a silly analogy, but to me that really makes sense. Like this is what holds everything together. We work on this first and everything else falls into place. Yeah. I'm really glad you shared that analogy again because I needed to hear it again. Yeah. It's like the foundation that everything else can be built on. So if it's not strong,
00:05:41
Speaker
Nothing else can be strong, but you guys know you've probably experienced it in your own marriage or seen it in others' marriages, that the stronger the marriage is, the stronger the family is. It's very hard to have a strong family if the marriage isn't.
Avoiding Parallel Lives in Marriage
00:05:56
Speaker
We think that you're listening to this episode because you want to hear what we're having to say about strong marriages.
00:06:06
Speaker
if you don't make it the priority, something else will be the priority. We have talked in other episodes about how kids are so urgent, but maybe not important, right? Like, I gotta go to the bathroom, I gotta go to the bathroom, I gotta go to the bathroom. I know, I know. And you know there's gonna be a puddle on the floor if you don't respond to that one, right? Or something, a mess. And so it's very urgent, but is it quite as important as,
00:06:35
Speaker
your marriage, so it's got to be the priority. Yeah, that's a great reminder. When's the last time your husband tugged on your shirt and said, hey, hey, hey, honey, honey, honey, to tell you something important about his day? I mean, I hope not. That sounds really annoying. But the fact of the matter is, your spouse will probably always be less insistent and quieter than your children, and it will require more probing and more interest and more open-minded and open-heartedness to connect with your husband.
00:07:05
Speaker
Tip number two, resist becoming roommates. That might sound kind of silly, but have you ever gotten into that? It's almost just kind of this default rhythm of your marriage where you just kind of feel like you're living parallel lives. You just wake up around the same time, you go to bed around the same time, you live in the same house, you eat the same food, but you don't really feel like you are in a deep connected marriage. And this, in case you were wondering, is not the ideal state for your relationship.
00:07:32
Speaker
It's like, it's peaceful. I mean, it's better than outright war with your spouse. I mean, you know, just kind of at peace roommate state is okay. It's better than, I don't even know what to compare it to. It's better than, you know, that. But guys, that's not the ideal state. Like you said, not ideal. So here's another question. What is it about your spouse and you that takes your relationship beyond friendship
00:08:02
Speaker
and into that partnership, that marriage partnership. So there was something special why you chose your spouse. So like sometimes you get to choose your roommate, like in college when you choose your own housing. And sometimes you're just like assigned roommates, right? In college, you know, you show up and there's some other roommates. But you chose your spouse and your spouse chose you. So this is just,
00:08:27
Speaker
asking you to think back and harken back to those things that, that were the choices, the special, the special part. And it takes you beyond just, okay, we live in the same house. We keep our food in the same refrigerator. We have this system for who puts their stuff where it's more than that. And we know, we know that with kids, it, oh man, it's so easy to fall back into that week than to that, just because you have to, and life is so busy, but you've got to actively resist this one.
00:08:56
Speaker
Yes, for sure, for sure. It's also important to realize that some stages of life will be very routine and they might even be those survival times we talk about all the time, right? So this is how I see marriage. It is an essential relationship we work on or we should work on approximately 90% of the time. We make sure that it is a top priority so that
00:09:18
Speaker
And the 10% of the time when life hits the fan and everything is falling apart, that becomes the rock to support you while you're going through all this hard stuff, right? But without that 90% of strengthening and connecting and loving each other when the bad stuff hits, that's just another thing on top of it all, right? Is that your marriage is falling apart. Does that make sense? So we work and we work and we work to keep it strong. And then when life gets really hard, we're there for each other and for the rest of the family.
00:09:45
Speaker
Right. Right. So default mode is not roommate mode, but the strong connected partnership mode. Yeah.
Spending Intentional Time Together
00:09:53
Speaker
All right. The third one, set aside time for working on it. Guys, this is going to take effort.
00:09:59
Speaker
If you have a goal, but you don't take any time spent, you don't spend any time working on that goal. It's always only just a goal. Yes, I want a strong marriage. Okay, what are you doing about that? Like today? Like if you want to run a marathon, that's your goal. Like, how are you going to get there? What's your goal? How many minutes, hours, how much time are you going to spend each day working on it? You can't run a marathon without some effort to get to that goal. So how
00:10:28
Speaker
you have to set aside time for working on your marriage. Yes, for sure. Audrey and I have talked about this before, and we both think that regular date nights is one of the best ways to incorporate this because it doesn't require a huge amount of time. It can be fit into even the busiest of schedules usually, but sometimes even that's not a possibility. Child care is very difficult when you have little kids and no one to leave them with. We get that. A few other ideas.
00:10:57
Speaker
for this regular connecting a daily chat around lunchtime. I have friends and family who call their spouses right around lunchtime. They chat for 20 minutes to and from a restaurant or just sitting at their desk finishing their lunch, super fun. Sending cute or romantic emails or texts throughout the day. We have so much technology, so many ways to connect. Marco Polo's, so fun. Leaving romantic or complimentary post-it notes around the house or in your husband's car.
00:11:26
Speaker
and, of course, regular intimacy, which nobody wants to talk about but is essential, and can also be scheduled if necessary. I know that doesn't work for some people, but if you have a busy life, that's something to consider.
Refreshing Relationships with New Activities
00:11:37
Speaker
Yes. We have a whole episode on intimacy, and we stand behind everything that we said on that 100%. So go listen to that one if you're looking for help in that area. Okay. But let's talk about... Let's go back to when you were dating. How did you take time for
00:11:55
Speaker
working on your relationship. I mean, it was just, you wanted to, right? You wanted to. That was the fun part. You wanted to be together. You wanted to spend time. And it's kind of interesting that our marriages get to the point where we have to like schedule time to work on a relationship. Like we're not seeking it out anymore. But let's think of time. Okay. So what can you do in just like a minute or five or 10 minutes of time to work on your relationship today?
00:12:23
Speaker
And then there's like date night. So like an hour or two hours of time. What can you do? And I even like date night, when like everything you're saying about getting a sitter and going out on a regular basis, that's. I get it. That's hard, but I had a friend throw an idea at me the other night, um, the other day, she said, Oh, we do our date nights after we put our kids to bed on Friday nights. I was like, Oh, okay. There you don't need a sitter. You're in the house. You've got your kids in bed. There you go. Um,
00:12:51
Speaker
Okay. And then let's talk about, um, so that's like an hour or two that you've set aside. Okay. Then how about a weekend, like a weekend getaway? Those are even harder trying to find sitters, but we do have a whole episode about couple getaways. Is that what we called it, Bonnie? Uh, yes. I don't know. We'll link it in the show notes. Yeah. Something like that. It's a good one. And when you get to Bonnie and I stage where you have kids old enough to take care of their younger siblings, are you?
00:13:17
Speaker
have tried and true babysitters, that is where the sweet spot. But think about it, like if you had a goal and you could set aside a whole weekend to work on it, well, you'd really make progress on that goal, right? Same thing for working on your relationship.
00:13:35
Speaker
Yeah, I know we both mentioned that in this episode we're referring to is that when we come back from a weekend away with our spouse, it's like a second honeymoon, right? You come back and think, oh, that's why I married you. I forgot. You are charming and hilarious and so fun. And I love you so much. It's mind-blowing. Try that. If at all possible, try that. Yeah, we're kind of late comers to the getaways, the couple getaways. But we're definitely addicted and already planning the next one and the next one after that, too. Yeah, yeah.
00:14:05
Speaker
Okay, so tip number four, find a role model couple or multiple couples. A great place to start is someone who's already an example to you, maybe like a pastor, church leader,
00:14:16
Speaker
An older neighbor, maybe your parents or grandparents if they're still around, can be great places to find couples who are already living this relationship that you want to emulate. This can be a key to success because they are already years, sometimes decades down the road from where you are and you get to follow in their footsteps and copy a lot of what they have done to create this amazing marriage. Yes, that is so beautiful. I love looking at
00:14:44
Speaker
older couples who are beyond where we are and finding a role model couple there. But something recently that I have been enjoying is looking at
00:14:52
Speaker
a young, freshly married couple or dating couple as role models because that is where the spark is still, right? And use them as your role models. Why not? Oh, that's so cute what they did, right? They took time and they did this and they went there and they, you know, right? How fun. Why can't we do that? We can. We still can. Yeah.
Learning from Couples: Role Models in Marriage
00:15:15
Speaker
So in this case, comparison of yourself is a great idea because you're looking to improve yourself.
00:15:22
Speaker
and your relationship. So compare yourself to that older woman. Compare yourself to that younger woman. Do it because it's with the goal of improving yourself. Where this gets sticky is like when you start looking at the husband and you say, my husband is not like that and he should be. Okay, just stop it. Don't do that. Don't do that.
00:15:43
Speaker
Yes, I love that I've done that before I've seen myself do that before where we've gone in a double date maybe with a young much younger couple or a much older couple and I'll watch them and just think oh look I forgot we used to hold hands a lot more often I'll grab my husband's hand you know oh I forgot we used to joke around a lot more just a great reminder
00:15:59
Speaker
And every couple has different love languages, right? I think that each person, we know each person has a love language, but I think relationships have love languages as well. And it's okay to explore new ones that might tap into your strengths a little bit better and just try new things to deepen that relationship. So I have learned a handful of really, really essential
00:16:18
Speaker
marital relationships from some of these role model couples, and they are always laugh together. Super important. We've mentioned that already. Always stand up for each other, especially when the other one is not around. I have a couple of role model couples that are amazing at this. You get one of them alone, they will never, ever undercut their spouse. They will always talk positively about them. And then finally, be humble and accept correction. Be willing to be wrong. So important.
00:16:44
Speaker
Wow.
Defining Roles: Parent and Provider
00:16:45
Speaker
Those are such good things that you've learned. That second one, especially is something that I had a very good role model in that. And I always insisted on speaking good, standing up for my spouse, even when he's not there. Like it's so common. Come on, ladies, fess up. It's so common.
00:17:05
Speaker
to get together and start griping about your spouses and right? No. Okay. Stop. We're going to be the role models for the next generation. See that's something that we always talk about on this podcast too. Like just where do you want to be in 20 years? Where do you want your relationship to be? What if your goal was to be a role model couple for other people to look at? And if you're not there right now, okay, you could be in 10 years, five years, one year, 20 years, right? Where do you want to go with this relationship? So.
00:17:34
Speaker
Yeah, that's another way to think about role model B, the role model couple.
00:17:40
Speaker
All right. Number five, this one, um, I'm going to kind of use some technology terminology that's new to me to define something that I've been thinking about for quite a while. So define the roles and the new terminology here that's kind of new to me is the primary parent and the primary provider. So, um, someone was talking about this. Let's see. I think it was Jordan Page and she was talking about both her and her husband run businesses. So let's say they're both on a business call.
00:18:06
Speaker
And one of the kids wakes up from a nap and needs something. Who gets off their business call? Well, her because she is the primary parent and he is the primary provider. So that is a defined role in their relationship. And she doesn't resent that she had to get off her call because, you know, he, they were both out. No, she just knows she's the primary parent and he's the primary provider.
Communication on Roles: Avoiding Misunderstandings
00:18:28
Speaker
She knows that she doesn't have to make sure there's enough money coming in through her business to pay the electric bills.
00:18:36
Speaker
And he doesn't resent that her business isn't paying the electric bills because he's the primary provider. So when you define roles, that's really, really healthy for your relationship.
00:18:47
Speaker
Yes, this is so important, especially if both of you come from different families of origin, which I hope you both did. Don't say if. How about because? You both came out wrong. We're all raised.
00:19:07
Speaker
You both came from different sets of parents raising you differently who had different roles, right? And hopefully each of those sets of parents came to an agreement like actually verbally instead of just assuming because sometimes that assumption causes a lot of resentment, right? And a lot of anger.
00:19:24
Speaker
But talk about that and talk about the fact that like, for example, I love being the primary parent, but I also have to have something else I've learned over the years. If my husband was the kind that just expected me to never do anything besides raise the kids, that would be a source of contention for us because that's not what I need. And he has his own needs that we've talked about and settled on a place where we're both happy.
00:19:48
Speaker
things change as well as the kids get older, they need less of me, but maybe more money coming in and our roles shift a little bit, but identifying those is essential. You don't want that resentment to creep in and then actually move your relationship backwards instead of forwards. Right.
Marriage as a Business: Clarity and Success
00:20:06
Speaker
I think the
00:20:07
Speaker
Like the big picture thing of what we're saying here is communication. Yeah. So it doesn't mean that the woman has to be the primary parent. It just means that there is a primary parent and it needs to be communicated about and it needs to be discussed. And then nobody resents anybody else because it's clearly defined. Yeah. Like if you were, if you look at a marriage as a business, if you are running a business and you didn't define the roles in a business of what everybody was doing, guess what's going to happen? It's going to fail.
00:20:37
Speaker
because somebody's not going to be doing what somebody else thought they were doing and somebody else is going to be stepping on someone else's toes because they thought they were supposed to do that job, right? So I think what we're trying to say here in the big picture is just communicate. That is so important for marriage that we have a whole episode about communication in marriage, especially like where the roles are. So this is, um,
00:21:03
Speaker
this is kind of like being a little more roommatey on this where you know you say okay you're we're gonna take turns taking out the trash so i'll do it one week and you do it the next week just so that no resentment comes in it's it's all goes back to communicating
00:21:18
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. And it's so important to do this regularly. You don't really do it one time and then it never happens again. I've had multiple times where I've felt like a lot was landing on my plate, mostly because we had so many children and it was hard for him to see everything that was landing on me because he would go to work every day and we would sit down and have a conversation and he was happy to take some things off my plate. But had I never communicated it and just sat there and stood in resentment, well, then that would have caused some problems, right? I needed to be.
Trying New Experiences: Growth in Marriage
00:21:43
Speaker
And even if he hadn't been willing to step in, but I had just at least done my part,
00:21:47
Speaker
very helpful and maybe we can find different solutions where he's able to help in a different way. But yeah, compromise, that's helpful.
00:21:56
Speaker
Okay, number six, try something new. Try some activities together. Sometimes you get so busy raising a family and trying to put dinner on the table that you don't have very much time to do fun things, right? Or just anything new. What we recommend is that when doing things with your spouse, specifically for fun, like a date night or something specifically to connect with them, you sometimes try things where your husband is the expert,
00:22:22
Speaker
Other times try things where you are the expert and sometimes try things that neither of you are good at. And this is a really, really fun way to grow your relationship. Yes, yes, that is so, so fun because it puts you in a completely different mind space and then you have to still be in the same relationship when you're in this different mind space. So one way to get out of roommate mode is to switch roles
Date Nights: Exploring Each Other's Interests
00:22:51
Speaker
like
00:22:52
Speaker
So maybe you're the expert on something and you're used to him leading and now you're leading, you know, trying something new altogether. You grow, he grows, your relationship grows. One way that we've been having fun in our relationship doing this is taking turns who plans date night. So, so I plan everything from the route.
00:23:13
Speaker
to the place we eat and then the thing we do and, you know, everything. And then the next time he plans at all. And that's just like switching roles. And so maybe he'll plan something that he likes and then maybe on our date night, that's my planning. I'll plan something I like. Yeah. So it's just basically when you're getting into a different role or a different environment or a different setting that it challenges you, it challenges the relationship. And when you work through that together,
00:23:43
Speaker
then it grows the relationship. Yes. Yes. I love that. So I default to sharing the things that I love and am an expert at because I am a grade A control freak. And so when we do things that I'm good at, it's so fun for me, right? Because I like to be successful at things. But I've also realized that one of the best ways for us to strengthen our relationship is for me to get out of the driver's seat because I like to be in control all the time.
00:24:05
Speaker
let's do this and let's go here. So for me to just sit back and let him choose or specifically do something that I am terrible at, that he can teach me at, helps me remember to be a little bit humble, helps me to take myself a little bit lighter. So whatever you're most comfortable doing, try to do something else. Try to relinquish that control or step in and take the control if that's not you and just try mixing it up. All of this in the name of remembering
00:24:34
Speaker
what drew you to your spouse in the first place or learning more about them, right? Because we're all changing. We're not the same people we were at 25 or whenever we got married. And so by mixing things up, we just learn so much more about each other. All right.
Worship and Marriage: The Triangle Analogy
00:24:50
Speaker
The last one that we have for you, number seven is to worship together. Probably this one is the top in importance because you are human and your spouse is human.
00:25:01
Speaker
So you will mess up. You're not perfect. Your spouse isn't perfect. There will be mistakes. There will be times when you go backward, when you fall into roommate mode, when you need the help of a higher power to keep together, to keep your relationship together, to grow your relationship. It's like what I'm saying is we're human and we can't do it without the help of a higher power. So when we
00:25:30
Speaker
together, when we go to church together, when we pray together, when we read, study the Bible together, and all the different ways that we can worship together, that is probably the top in importance in strengthening our marriage.
00:25:47
Speaker
Yeah, I love this. It's also important to remember that if we're struggling in our marriage or anywhere and we turn to God to find solutions, we're always going to be taught the same thing, and that is love.
Service and Love: The Guiding Principles
00:26:02
Speaker
and serve. When there's a problem in a relationship, 99% of the time it's because we're being selfish or we're too focused on how it's affecting us. When we turn outwards and we do more serving, more loving, less concerned about our own feelings and our own needs,
00:26:26
Speaker
then things turn around. And even if the problem objectively is a large part on your husband's side, by emulating that love and service, they often wanna do better as well. So God is always a good answer. Worshiping together, learning together, growing together will always make you a better person and then bring your relationship closer as well.
00:26:48
Speaker
Yeah, I know I shared this analogy before in our marriage episodes. But when we were still dating, my husband shared with me that marriage is the analogy, the picture that marriage is a triangle. So God is at the top point and we are on the bottom apex on each side apex. Is that what it's called? The bottom
00:27:10
Speaker
Okay. The bottom point on each side. We are at the bottom point on each side. And the closer that we get to God at the top, then the closer that we become to each other as well. So if there's a problem in a relationship, the answer is always to get closer to God, because then we are by default getting close to each other. So I love to share that with as many couples as I can, because
00:27:33
Speaker
because it works every time. And I will add this thought in regards to that excellent triangle analogy. I would argue that there isn't a marriage in the world that won't work if both people are 100% dedicated to drawing closer to God.
Active Work on Marriage: Personal Responsibility
00:27:48
Speaker
I could be wrong, but I have never seen that be the case, where a marriage falls apart when both people are equally dedicated to doing what God wants them to do. That just doesn't happen. So there's the answer to it all, right? Solution to it all.
00:28:03
Speaker
Yep, that is the key. All right, so I don't know.
00:28:10
Speaker
My final thought here is that thank you for seeking out this episode and listening to it and wanting to make your marriage stronger. Just simply that, I can confirm for you that you are on the right track. Your marriage will get stronger because you want it to. You're listening to this episode, you're trying. And we just encourage you, like in those times they happen to us, we know they happen. In those times where you're slipping back into remote mode or your relationship is not as strong as you want it to be,
00:28:37
Speaker
Just grab out one of these seven tips and try it, give it a try and see what it does for you. My final reminder is that you and only you are responsible for your feelings. So when you, we all get there where we're thinking, Oh, he drives me so crazy. Oh, I just get so angry.
00:28:54
Speaker
Well, we do choose to get angry when we think specific thoughts. We know this, right? We've mentioned this so many episodes, especially in the marriage episodes. We are the only ones responsible for our own happiness. And so if we're not finding happiness, then it's up here we need to deal with. It's in our brains, right? It's not in fixing our spouse. So start there, do your own work to draw closer to God and to find your own happiness and your marriage will just get better by default. That's just how it works.
00:29:25
Speaker
All right, just to recap, those seven tips are make your marriage the priority. Number two, resist being roommates. Number three, set aside time for working on it. Number four, find a role model couple and be a role model couple. Number five, define your roles in your relationship. Number six, try something new. Try something new. And number seven, worship together.
00:29:50
Speaker
That's right, guys. Have a great week. We love talking to you so much. We'll talk to you next week. I'm Bonnie. I'm Audrey, and we're outnumbered. Thanks for listening, friends. Click the link in the show notes to subscribe to our email and never miss another episode. Show us some love by leaving a review on iTunes or sharing the podcast with a friend. Thanks for all your support. We'll talk to you next week.
00:30:16
Speaker
All right, number five. This is kind of a new thing that are... Wait for the tractor.