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5 Tips for Packing for a Family Vacation {Episode 216}
572 Plays1 year ago
Got an upcoming trip? Taking the whole family? Do NOT miss these 5 tips so you can successfully pack for your trip and enjoy your vacation too!
About Outnumbered the Podcast:
Two moms, parenting a combined total of 19 kids and finding joy in the chaos. Join Audrey and Bonnie as they share real parenting tips for real people through humor, advice and compassion. Whether it's tackling how to teach kids to work or discussing where to turn when you're all out of patience, these two experienced moms are here to offer authentic tips for raising children joyfully.
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Transcript
Introduction to Episode 216
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome back to Outnumber the Podcast. You are listening to Episode 216, How to Pack for a Family Vacation. You guys, we have plenty of experience packing for 9 and 10 children, respectively.
00:00:09
Speaker
It's chaos and we know how to make it easier on you and hopefully forget as minimal things as possible. So today we're talking about, number one, how to create that perfect list for every vacation. Number two, how to pack efficiently, even if you have a million children. And number three, how to lower your expectations when inevitably things get left behind and you find yourself shaking your head and wondering how you're going to get along without it. Let's do it.
Meet the Hosts: Audrey and Bonnie
00:00:36
Speaker
Hello and welcome to Outnumbered the Podcast. I'm Audrey. And I'm Bonnie. We are experienced moms to a combined total of 19 children. In our weekly episodes, we explore relatable topics using our perspectives of humor and chaos. Tune in for advice and encouragement to gain more joy in your parenting journey.
00:01:00
Speaker
Hello,
Challenges of Packing for Large Families
00:01:01
Speaker
friends. Welcome back to the podcast. We've got a fun, really logistical episode for you today on packing for family vacations. Or should we just call them trips the whole episode? Because let's be honest, mom's not vacationing much when all the children are along. We've established that, right?
00:01:16
Speaker
But when you are taking your kids with you, there is a lot to pack, a lot to remember, a lot to keep with you. And so we're going to talk about our hacks for making that happen, not forgetting everything, all the essential things like I have most certainly done.
Humorous Packing Mishaps
00:01:30
Speaker
In fact, we were talking before recording what's the weirdest or saddest or funniest thing you've forgotten. Audrey couldn't come up with a good story, but I have about a million, so I'll share just a funny one.
00:01:38
Speaker
We recently went up north, so we live in the Phoenix Valley, so it's always warm. But for fun, we like to go up north when it snows, so that my kids can play in the snow and get that experience, that winter wonderland. And so we went up north, and I just happened to forget all the things on this trip. Three kids forgot snow boots. Seriously, five kids forgot socks. Socks, people.
00:01:58
Speaker
They had, to be fair, we don't wear a lot of socks in the desert. We just, I mean, in wintertime we do, but even in the winter sometimes they'll just slip on tennis shoes without socks or wear their sandals. So it's not like underwear, which we wear every day. But at least five of my children came up with just the socks that were on their feet.
00:02:16
Speaker
and had no backups. And I'm thinking, okay, am I delegating packing a little too soon? And then gloves. We had like three kids that, and we have a giant bucket full of winter supplies. We were all digging through. They just left them on the couch or couldn't find a matching pair and just neglected to mention that to mom and dad. And so my three-year-old, we let him out into the snow.
00:02:36
Speaker
not realizing that he wasn't really going to be able to figure out that snow was going to hurt his fingers eventually. So he would like pack a snowball or two and then he would run in with red hands and go, they hurt so bad and cry. And then he'd get over it and then he'd run back out and I'm going, oh, is this bad parenting or is he just learning cause and effect? That was a fun, fun learning experience.
00:02:57
Speaker
Right. Yes. I'm
Household Roles in Vacation Prep
00:02:59
Speaker
excited to talk about this episode because out of desperation, I have developed a pretty sweet packing method that keeps me from forgetting all the things. Although inevitably, something is forgotten, and that's just the way.
00:03:13
Speaker
traveling with a large family is. Yeah, for sure, for sure. And I would just say that as a mom, the general household management, and this is probably true for moms who don't work outside of the home and the ones that do. From what I've read that even if you work full time outside of the home, the general household management still falls to you, which usually means that you're the best at knowing what everyone needs for a vacation. So whether you delegate or not, you're going to be kind of the end all, be all of making sure that things get packed that need to.
00:03:41
Speaker
Oh, yeah. I think we were referring to it in one episode as you're the primary parent and your husband is the primary provider, right? So it's just the role. Plus, I don't know if my husband would even know where all the kids' clothes were. Should he have to pack? Which drawers, which kids' stuff is in which drawers? And no, we keep this item over here because there's not room over here. I just know where things are.
00:04:08
Speaker
Yeah, that's why it falls to me. My husband does his own things and then he does everything that would be needed for the vehicle, should there be an emergency, a flat tire and all that. I don't know where the extra propane is in case there was whatever. Yeah, I don't know that kind of stuff. He deals with all that kind of emergency stuff and then his own stuff.
00:04:29
Speaker
But today we're going to talk about these things that usually fall to mom. We're
Creating Efficient Packing Lists
00:04:33
Speaker
going to talk about how to make a list. Oh, we love our list. That's like the key to success. How to pack efficiently, how and what and when to delegate a lot of this. So you're not spending the entire week packing and what to do when things go wrong. So let's let's dive in. Yeah. And let me just say up front that I have developed a decent system over the years. But I think the last year or so, I've expected my older kids to
00:04:58
Speaker
maybe pick up more than they should have or rather the middle kids to pick up more than they should have because my older kids are pretty good at packing for themselves. And so in the delegating, this is just kind of one of these things where I like let go of too much and then realize, oh, no, I still have to hold on to this. So this is just kind of one of those things as your family grows.
00:05:14
Speaker
and learns that you're going to have to be kind of a trial and error thing, right? So number one is to have a list. It took me way too long to figure this out that I could just have a running list of what we needed to pack for every trip. Things like a portable crib. As long as I had a kid under the age of three, I was going to probably need to bring a portable crib. And also like a white noise machine and also the favorite blanket and also the diapers and the wipes. Sippy cups is something I always forget until we get out to eat 50 miles away from home. And I'm like, how's my
00:05:43
Speaker
one year old going to drink, have a straw and backwash my water. So really nothing is too obvious to put on this list. In fact, when I first created it as I was packing, I typed everything in. I just keep it in a note on my phone. And then when I got to my place and then realized the things I forgot, I added those two. And so over the years, this thing has become very robust. Can you tell that on this last trip, I didn't check the list? I thought that it was good. And also we'll talk about like trip specific things that are easy to forget.
00:06:12
Speaker
Yes. So things like bathroom supplies, like toiletries. Every kid is going to need a toothbrush and a hairbrush and that deodorant for those who are a little bit older and that kind of thing. But then also think about vitamins or medications or that kind of thing that they're not going to have there wherever you're going, special need kind of things like that.
00:06:35
Speaker
Think about your lodging situation. Are you staying in a hotel? Are you staying in a condo? Will you be doing the cooking? This last time that we traveled, we went to a condo and it was a condo for 12 people. But interestingly enough, they only had six forks. So we were like, okay, some of us are going to eat with the spoons until we can get to the closest Walmart because this condo needs forks.
00:07:00
Speaker
This is a silly kind of thing that you don't know. If you're staying at the condo, are they going to be cleaning supplies? You do pay cleaning fees, are you going to leave it like a dump for them to clean up? Probably going to incur that extra, extra, extra cleaning fee when there's 11 of you going in and out of sand all day, every day.
00:07:20
Speaker
That kind of thing. Yeah. Also, I want to talk about a little bit. There's pre-packing, pre-trip things to think about. Okay. Like laundry,
Laundry and Pre-Packing Organization
00:07:28
Speaker
right? That's kind of intuitive for us moms. But if you say, okay, everybody, it's time to pack and you still got five loads of dirty laundry and they can't find their underwear or their socks or whatever, that's not going to go well. So as a mom, we can make this packing thing a lot smoother by doing some pre-packing things.
00:07:45
Speaker
Um, another thing I like to do is if we're driving or flying supplies or new things for keeping them occupied while we're driving or while they're instructing on the airplane, you know, can't move around that kind of thing. So that like, if you are going to order something in that as a pre-packing thing that has to be done ahead of time, one more pre-packing thing I think about is like food. So if you have the ability to cook for your family, where you go, because as a large family, you've probably found it's way cheaper to cook in than
00:08:14
Speaker
go dine out. You want to think about, are you going to take food? Are you going to buy food there? That kind of thing. And then can there be some cooking done ahead of time? So that like, for example, let's say you decide you're going to eat your breakfast in
00:08:29
Speaker
the condo and then eat out for lunch or whatever. So could you do some pre-cooking ahead? Could you have some egg casseroles made so that your vacation is a little bit more like a vacation for you and you're not stuck in the kitchen in the laundry room the whole time?
00:08:44
Speaker
All those kind of pre-packing things are awesome to think about before you even start. Yes. I'm so glad you brought that up because when we went to pack for our last trip, I had not thought through the pre-packing and I think I had a busy week that week and I found myself running things through the dryer at the last second and we actually ended up bringing some kind of damp clothes that we just had strewn in the back of the van to dry on the drive because I hadn't thought a full day ahead or two days ahead of what we needed to pack. So brilliant.
00:09:13
Speaker
Okay, so now on to the trip specific things. So like I mentioned,
Packing Based on Destination Needs
00:09:17
Speaker
you're going up to snow and you don't usually see snow. Think through all of the things. Nothing is too obvious. Like I mentioned, socks, beanies, gloves,
00:09:27
Speaker
jackets, sweaters, boots, all the things. You go to the beach, swimsuits, sunscreen, towels, maybe a wagon to haul everything, umbrellas, whatever it may be. So that can be kind of tricky if you're not living in that area at the time, right? Like when we go to cold places in the summer, it's well over 100 degrees every day here in Arizona. For me to even think about like picking up a sweater to pack
00:09:55
Speaker
just kind of grosses me out. I'm like, oh no, there's no way I'm going to need this sweater. And sure enough, I go and it's 50 degrees and I need a sweater. So kind of put yourself in that situation. And this is helpful too. You can also make a running list for those specific trips. Let's say you go to the beach every summer. This is my beach list. Don't forget XYZ. Don't forget a cooler that closes so you don't get sand in all your food, whatever it may be that you want. That's a great thing to keep on the list as well.
00:10:23
Speaker
Yes. Another more trip specific or maybe big family specific things are like bedding. So we're
Managing Expectations and Packing Bedding
00:10:30
Speaker
used to as big families, you know, we have to get two hotel rooms, but still somebody's going to be sleeping on the couch or on the pullout bed or on the floor or something. So they're going to need a sleeping bag. Otherwise when you get to the hotel, you're going to have to go down to the lobby or call up for extra bedding and all that. And it's just going to take well. So it's easier just to throw in some sleeping bags. Does somebody have, you know, a special pillow, special blanket, those kinds of things?
00:10:54
Speaker
Alright, let's talk about creating lists. Me and Bonnie's favorite thing, lists. Check it out. Alright, so I use a list as a way to communicate what's going to happen on the trip to my younger kids. Also, I usually don't tell my kids a huge time in advance about what's going to be going on on the trip. Because then you have to deal with how many more days, how many more hours. I want to go, why can't we go right now?
00:11:19
Speaker
So I usually, as I'm creating the list for that trip, okay, we're going to be gone four nights, you know, and we're going to be doing on day three, we're going to go and do this. And so that's a way to communicate what's going to happen on the trip as I'm creating the list so that they're not only thinking about what they're going to get to do, but what they're going to be able to pack. And with your older kids, it's a great way to just let them know what they need to bring, what they might want to bring, what they might forget if they didn't have a list, that kind of thing.
00:11:49
Speaker
Yes, I love that. I actually just have this thought that if you travel a lot and you want to start delegating more and more to your children to just create a paper list that maybe is laminated and you can hand out to them when it's time to pack, okay, here's all the things. Again, nothing is too obvious. Toothpaste, toothbrush,
00:12:06
Speaker
the X amount of underwear. Maybe you could just have a little line, blank pairs of underwear and you can fill it in when you give it to them. Okay, this is a six-day trip. You're going to need, let's say, seven pairs just in case and you give it to them and they can check it off one at a time. It instills so much confidence and independence in a child to be able to pack for themselves and to then experience the side effects or the consequences of when they mispack, if that's a word.
00:12:32
Speaker
They pack incorrectly.
Encouraging Kids' Independence in Packing
00:12:33
Speaker
They forget socks or they forget. Now, I didn't let my children freeze. We did go out and find them a few more pairs of socks. But all of the things can be experienced as a consequence. It's such a great lesson. Like, oh, remember that one time when I forgot another shirt and I had to wear the same shirt every day and I had to wash it in the sink and that was a pain and I'm never going to do that again. Right? So helpful. So in general, our kids and our family,
00:12:59
Speaker
I'll pack for themselves that are 12 and up. The teens, I say, you are responsible enough, you forget something, you can deal with those consequences, right? The nine to 11 year olds also packed for themselves, but I ask questions. So they'll come down and I'll say, how many underwear did you get? How many shirts did you get, right? So I'm just kind of following up after they are allowed to do that for themselves. The five to seven year olds pack with an older sibling or a parent present. So like, my five year old is adorable. Look, and here's my outfits. I'm like, oh, you have two. Do you know how long we're going to be gone?
00:13:28
Speaker
Nope, but I'm ready with my two favorite outfits. Well, we're actually gone a whole week, so that's, you know, so cute. And then everybody under five, I do exclusively, obviously. Sometimes a three-year-old wants to help, but he's not very useful. So that's how we do it in our family. Obviously, the maturity of each child can be weighed in. If you have a teenager that just forgets everything, you might want to supervise a little bit more, vice versa.
00:13:49
Speaker
right right all right here's my packing method born out of desperation from so many failed packing adventures all right so i make a list for my kids we have a great big chalkboard in our home school room and i write on the list sometimes i make a chart of the days and what we're gonna do like across the top of the board and then i make a list um you're gonna need
00:14:11
Speaker
Six pairs of underwear, four everyday outfits, two, you know, special like church or meeting, or we call them town clothes as opposed to farm clothes. You're going to need, you know, two outfits that are like this and you're going to meet this kind of shoes and this kind of shoes. So then they, they all, everybody gets to look at the list. This is also for my not teenagers. My teenagers, they just get the, you know, the first part, what we're going to do, you know, the calendar across the top. This is what we're doing. This is the days. Bye. Have fun packing.
00:14:39
Speaker
All right, so then after they've got the list, what I have my kids do is everybody goes and they lay out their outfits and their clothes for each day on their beds. Now, if I have a child over 10, they do themselves and they do a child that's five or under.
00:14:59
Speaker
So they do themselves and a sibling. Um, so then after they have all their clothes laid out and they've checked, double checked against the list on the board, then they come and say, okay, mom, I'm ready for you to check my clothes. And this is a way for me to check their outfits too. Like my kids have clothes that aren't really suitable for town. They're like tour clothes. Okay. Like they, you know, mock out the chicken shed in them. Well, if I don't check their clothes, they're going to have a pair of jeans with holes in them there with, you know, degraded hems or whatever.
00:15:27
Speaker
So I checked their clothes and after I have checked their outfits, they have them all laid out by day so I can see that they have everything. Then I say, okay, you're good to go. Now you can pack. And they go ahead and pack their suitcase and then they zip it up and they go put it where a staging area where everything is going to get packed in the van. Because inevitably you'll have little ones that get back in the suitcase because mommy, I just wanted this and then it's left behind.
00:15:50
Speaker
So that's my packing method in a nutshell where it's pretty foolproof where we haven't forgotten major things and everybody's had enough things on the trip. Yeah, I love that. And I love that the laying out of outfits really allows them to take responsibility for what they want to bring. You know, it's not like you're just willingly throwing whatever clothes in, but they get to pack their favorite shirt or their favorite socks or whatever, but you're still supervising and ensuring that they're not packing shorts for when you're going to go to the snow or whatever.
00:16:18
Speaker
Okay, so the next step we want to talk about is packing efficiently, which as you can imagine with families of nine and 10 kids gets really cumbersome, especially when kids start packing for themselves. So if my kids had their own way, they would all go grab whatever suitcase fit their fancy.
00:16:33
Speaker
and throw a bunch of stuff in it and say we're ready to pack and under no circumstances would we ever be able to fit all of the things that they have packed in whatever suitcase or duffel bag they chose right. If you have one or two children maybe that's not an issue they can all pack their own suitcase you have room for that but obviously not with nine or ten kids so what we do is we divide our kids into groups generally by room whoever they share a room with because it's easy all their clothes are together
00:16:55
Speaker
And we give them each a suitcase to fill. So generally we have kids in three different bedrooms at home. So we give them each a suitcase depending on how many children are in each bedroom and then they can fill it up. And as our rooms are set up, there's always a big kid with a younger kid. And so that's the one that supervises the younger kids. That's worked pretty well for us for several years. Yeah. Our method of packing is pretty similar also. We tell our kids, okay, y'all can take your own suitcase.
00:17:19
Speaker
But only half of you can go. Exactly. It's going to fit all your suitcases and all you in the band. Exactly. One or the other. Know it. Yeah. So we also do like packing by roommates because that's just the most intuitive once you get there. Otherwise, you know, you end up with clothes all over your hotel or condo or camp site or wherever you're staying.
00:17:40
Speaker
We'll also think about who's going to be helping who get dressed. So if I put a younger and older kid together, that means the older kid is kind of going to manage
00:17:50
Speaker
the younger kid and helping them get dressed in an appropriate outfit for whatever we're doing that day once we get there. Because they laid out their outfits before we left, doesn't mean they're going to put on matching clothes or appropriate outfits once we get there. So that helps also to put an older kid in charge of helping your kid get dressed.
Packing Plans Based on Accommodations
00:18:09
Speaker
Think about your accommodations for things when you get there. This not only includes clothing,
00:18:15
Speaker
We're talking a lot about clothing because there's a lot of clothing with a large family. But think about when you get there. OK, if you're packing food, you probably want, you know, like a cooler of cold food and, you know, then something that doesn't have to be refrigerated, that kind of thing. Will you be in a hotel room? Will you be in a condo? Will you be in a tent?
00:18:34
Speaker
where you'd be in an RV, that kind of thing. So that's all, think about where you're going, not just, hey, we've got everything, let's go, but what's it gonna be like on the other side? Are there gonna be dressers for the kids to unpack into if you're staying there a week or so? Or are they gonna be living out of their suitcase when they get there? All those kind of things are helpful to take into consideration.
00:18:56
Speaker
Yeah, so brilliant, too, that you reminded me about the accommodations for who's staying with whom when you get there. Because like I said, it's easy for us to pack up together the kids that stay together in the home. But very often, they want to sleep with somebody else when they get there, because it's fun and exciting. Like, hey, at the cabin, I want to sleep with this sister instead of this one that I'm always sleeping with. So that's also brilliant. And you also remind me that, for example, my 15-year-old shares the room with his three-year-old brother and one-year-old sister
00:19:22
Speaker
But I was packed for the baby in my suitcase because I want to be supervising what she's wearing up there. So yes, who is taking care of that younger one? It just makes sense to pack them all up together. And again, this is kind of a trial and error thing. You're going to probably have a couple of experiences where you're like, oh, that didn't work for us. We're going to try something a little bit different. And every trip is different, too. Like you say, going to a campsite is going to be way different than going to a nice hotel or an Airbnb or something. So trial and error, that's motherhood, right?
00:19:50
Speaker
Okay, so I wanted to share three easy ways to organize suitcases because if you ever try to pack more than one or two kids, like stuff just gets everywhere and everyone's underwear is mixed up. And we do one of these three ways almost every time we pack. One is to have the kids lay out their outfits, complete outfits, including socks and underwear. And then once you've checked them, roll them up and put a rubber band around them. My kids love this way. It just costs three bucks to go buy a bag of rubber bands. And my kids think it's so fun because they just pull one little.
00:20:18
Speaker
bundle out and have all three things for their day instead of trying to dig through and find the pair of underwear they're looking for.
00:20:24
Speaker
Another idea is to use suitcase organizers or sometimes they call them packing cubes. I do this for my suitcase. It gets a little pricey to buy it for every single child. But I like my suitcase to look a little bit nicer and I don't want to roll my clothes. So I just had these individual cubes. So I will put all my undergarments and bras and things in one. I will put all my toiletries in another. I will put all my tops or maybe I'll sort them by outfit and put casual outfits in one, dressy outfits in another. Those are super fun to use as well.
00:20:50
Speaker
And then the third option is to let each child pack their own bag, but something small like a little backpack. And then once it's packed, you throw all of them together in a bigger suitcase. So you don't have to supervise five or six backpacks being schlepped up the hotel lobby and elevator. You just bring up two or three suitcases, but inside kids have the ownership of this is my bag and I organize everything that goes inside. So that's been kind of fun too.
00:21:17
Speaker
That's number one, roll them up with rubber bands. That is genius. I'm going to go and buy a bunch of rubber bands. It's really fun.
Fostering Ownership and Responsibility in Kids
00:21:24
Speaker
Oh, but yeah, that's, that's a way to help foster ownership of each child's things, like letting them each pack their own bag. Um, I have my kids pack their own, what they call a car bag. So they pack their own bag and they get decided what's in it for activities. And then I usually have like a backpack up front where I hand out, you know, the new things for the day, but they get to kind of think about what they want to do on the trip on the way there.
00:21:45
Speaker
And everybody carries, in our family, everybody carries your own bag except the little ones. I do not carry anyone else's bag. No one else carries my bag. Same principles when we go to the library. You can check out as many books as you can carry, right? You can pack your suitcase as well as you can carry it because I'm not carrying it for you. Yes, so smart. Again, it teaches them very early on ownership and responsibility for what they want to bring.
00:22:06
Speaker
I have one child in particular who is not young, who loves to pack all the things for church or sometime when she might be bored, and then goes, I'm done, mom. I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no. I don't carry your books and your Kindle and your stuffed animal and your blanket. And that's all on you. And then they learn very quickly. So, okay.
Handling Forgotten Items
00:22:24
Speaker
The third step or
00:22:26
Speaker
tip in this episode is our favorite part. It's the part where we get to lower our expectations and understand and accept the reality that someone will forget something. And very often it will be you. And then you have to deal with the emotions that come after that. And I know it sounds kind of silly, but I have a tantrum like almost every trip because of something that got forgotten or something I didn't do correctly because I just want things to go off without a hitch. It never does. Spoiler. Yeah.
00:22:50
Speaker
I inevitably forget things for myself as well because I'm so busy making sure everybody else has all their things that they need. Suddenly, where's Audrey's underwear? Dang it. And because I sell my own clothes, it's not like I can just go down to Walmart and buy something because it's not going to fit anyway.
00:23:10
Speaker
What is the worst thing you forgot on a trip, Bonnie? Do dish. Okay, so this was really fun to think about. A few years ago, I took just a couple of kids to Disneyland, along with my six-week-old baby. And we drove into town late at night. We arrived at the hotel at like 10 p.m., I get everybody settled, and then I realized I have no diapers for the baby. I had like one or two that I brought on the car ride that were in my diaper bag. I neglected to pack any more in my suitcase. So my baby is teeny tiny.
00:23:37
Speaker
There's no diapers at the hotel. I had to walk like four or five blocks down the street to find an open store at that hour. It was a Walgreens and they had no newborn diapers. No, it must've just been like one of those corner convenience stores because if it had been a drug store, they would have had more sizes for sure. It was just like, you know, like a 7-Eleven or something. They had a size three, I think, diaper. It was the only thing they had, that and up. And so I bring it back to the hotel and I just kind of like wrap it around her a couple of times.
00:24:07
Speaker
And then when we got to Disneyland, actually, I think I went to the store earlier in the morning, or actually Disneyland carries all the diapers because it's Disneyland. But I just remember thinking, you dummy. You dummy means so mad that I don't...
00:24:18
Speaker
Jimmy rigged this diaper around my poor baby's teeny tiny newborn bum because I just forgot. Just forgot the things. Oh, man. I know. And then if they have a blowout, it is going everywhere because you can wrap it around. It's going to squirt right out the back. Poor baby. Poor Bonnie.
00:24:39
Speaker
Oh, but you guys, so we forget stuff and this is like an opportunity to coach our brains on how to respond.
Using Humor to Ease Packing Stress
00:24:46
Speaker
So like just because we're going on vacation doesn't mean we get to take a vacation from working on our brains.
00:24:53
Speaker
working on our thoughts and our feelings. Um, so my default is usually like anger and frustration, you know, like that, uh, feeling like, I can't believe we did this, but don't do that. It doesn't help. It doesn't make anybody have a good vacation. When you go to like anger and in frustration, it's like, uh, wish we would have just stayed home. I mean, that's kind of how everybody's feeling. If mom's feeling angry and frustrated, it doesn't help anyone have a good trip.
00:25:16
Speaker
Yes, and in fact, you've probably all noticed that going on vacation is probably the prime time to work on your thoughts and managing your brain because your brain offers you all these things like, we're supposed to be having fun. Why is everyone fighting? How did I forget this thing, right? Side note, that actually just reminded me of another Disneyland trip, the only other time I took a newborn to Disneyland.
00:25:37
Speaker
This baby never, ever, ever had blowouts. But while we're standing in line to get in, she poops all over everything, myself included. And we have a family picture, right, stepped inside the gates of a naked baby in a baby wrap on me because I had no other outfit with me. I had to go buy her something in the park. But if you go look at... I should share it on Instagram. If you go look at my face in that picture, you can kind of tell that I'm working on things like, five minutes in, we've already got this issue. A naked baby in a poopy onesie in my diaper bag.
00:26:07
Speaker
So, so many opportunities to work on this, right? I would probably say that my defaults are shame and blame. I just flip-flop back and forth. Dang it, you dummy. How could you do that? And then, wait a minute, you should have thought of this. Pointing fingers everywhere. I really, this last trip that I went on, like I was telling you about that, I experienced that and really that shame and blame in equal measure. I would just feel awful until I couldn't handle it anymore and then I would go
00:26:33
Speaker
to my husband, why didn't you think of this? Why do I have to think of everything? Blah, blah, blah. Don't do that to yourself. Enjoy your vacation as much as possible and just acknowledge that what is what is. In fact, it's an opportunity to realize, well, there's nothing we can do about it now. We're not going to turn back around and drive another 10 hours, right? We're just going to make do and learn to enjoy ourselves.
00:26:53
Speaker
Yeah. I think we should all just expect the first day of vacation to be kind of the settling into vacation mode and just give ourselves grace on that day. Just, you know, be it where your mind doesn't want to feel guilty or dumb or frustrated or shame, blame, anger, frustration, all that. But allow yourself to see it, acknowledge it, feel it, and then like pass it through. Give yourself grace. Okay. Yes. It's the first day of vacation. My brain is not
00:27:19
Speaker
quite invocation mode yet, it's okay, and then move on through it. Yes. If you have perfectionist tendencies, like a couple of people on this podcast, then this can be a little bit difficult. But one thing we've both realized helps a lot is to incorporate some humor. So this is where my husband comes in. I'll say, why didn't you remember this thing? He's like, I don't know. I never remember diapers. Whatever. He'll make me laugh. He'll say something.
00:27:44
Speaker
And then I start thinking about all the funny stories we'll get to share, right? Remember that time we went up to the snow and we had to put plastic bags over your feet because we forgot waterproof boots or something else hilarious. Offer yourself the grace through humor or whatever it is. Allow yourself a few minutes to say, dang it, I wish I would have. And then say, but I didn't. And now we get to just make do and have a good time.
00:28:09
Speaker
Yes. So I find one thing that really helps me in the prepacking time and then when we've got there and we've forgotten things is my little phrase, there's always a Walmart. I don't think you can go anywhere, maybe a deserted island or something where you're not going to find a Walmart or just the thought here is that people live there too.
00:28:32
Speaker
And they get their stuff somewhere. Like they get their food or their underwear or their clothing or their socks or boots, you know, whatever they live there. And so they have and get these things all the time. So if I forget something, it's just money. There's always a Walmart. Just get it. Like if I forgotten something that helps me like relax and get into vacation mode earlier, you know, in the packing. So the packing doesn't get so stressed out. Like it's okay. There's always a Walmart. Yes.
00:28:57
Speaker
And then when you're on the trip when you've forgotten something it's okay. We'll just stop there's always a Walmart And your brain is gonna offer so many thoughts about this mind does as well Oh this money that we didn't have to spend or oh it was sitting right on this one spot on the couch I can just picture it if we were back there Allow it allow those thoughts to come and go and then just tell yourself, but it's all gonna be okay, right? And here we are. Have a good time
00:29:20
Speaker
And here's the other interesting thing.
Parental Influence on Kids' Trip Experience
00:29:22
Speaker
When it comes to vacations, I've noticed one thing. And I learned this lesson with my mom as she learned it over the years of wrangling kids as well. It's that on family trips, our kids often remember one thing, and it's very often how the parents responded. OK, so I have memories of trips.
00:29:39
Speaker
that my mom remembers very differently growing up. So this one trip in particular, I remember having a really great time. And when I talked to my mom about it not long ago, she said, oh, that trip was a nightmare. Do not remember that you and your brother fought the whole time and this thing happened and that thing happened. And we actually had to like give you a big timeout kind of a thing and a big punishment, whatever. I'm like, I don't remember that at all. And we were talking about how she and my dad kept their cool the whole time. And we had this great experience.
00:30:08
Speaker
And other experiences I've had, I remember thinking that trip was kind of a nightmare. And my mom says, oh, really? Why do you think that? Oh, you guys were just mad the whole time. So, I mean, not to put more pressure on us, but our kids are really watching us to see how they should react and how they should respond to something. And when I'm constantly kicking myself, I'm going, oh, I shouldn't have done it. They're thinking, oh, something has gone wrong. Mom is mad. Something is really wrong. It sucks. I left socks, you know?
00:30:34
Speaker
If I can control my own reactions and manage my mind, then my kids are able to have a good time and learn to do the same when they inevitably make mistakes, because of course they will as well. Yes, that is so true. It just sucks. There's always a Walmart.
00:30:51
Speaker
Yeah, and then if you guys, something that I recently have been thinking about since my husband and I go on couple trips, couples trips, is that, you know what, this vacation is for my kids. It's not really for me. This vacation is for my kids and for our family to do stuff together. And my husband and I, like I just put this little marker ahead in the future, my husband and I are gonna go on a trip that's gonna be a vacation for me. This one is for the kids. And if that means I'm still doing all the mom things on this trip,
00:31:20
Speaker
I do all the mom things to make it a fun trip for my kids. So I just really hope that some of these packing things that we have shared have made your trips easier for you so that you don't have as much stress about about your trip. And it goes a little easier before and during your trip. So
00:31:38
Speaker
The more organized you are ahead of time, the easier you make it for yourself once you get there. Yes, absolutely. I totally agree with that, Audrey. If you can just let having a great time go, sometimes you just go, oh, this is just me momming in a different city. That's going to look pretty similar. We should probably do a whole other episode about just your mindset on a family vacation. Yes, that's probably necessary.
00:32:03
Speaker
But these trips are making memories, guys, even if they're the kinds of memories where, remember when we forgot all the socks? That was fun. We bought them all at Walmart. But your family's going to look back at this with fondness, especially if you can keep your cool. So thanks so much for listening, you guys. We'll talk to you next week. I'm Bonnie. I'm Audrey, and we're at Numbered.
00:32:24
Speaker
Thanks for listening friends. Click the link in the show notes to subscribe to our email and never miss another episode. Show us some love by leaving a review on iTunes or sharing the podcast with a friend. Thanks for all your support. We'll talk to you next week.
00:32:53
Speaker
Why is this so hard? We did this so that it would be easier for us. We can't even remember our names. How are we supposed to remember socks for a trip if we can't remember our names? What are we doing again? Socks? What socks? That was epic. That was epic. That has to be an outtake. Okay.
00:33:19
Speaker
Try again. You're Bonnie. Yeah, I'm Bonnie. I think so. Let us check.