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Wildcard Wednesday - "Weed the People"
19 Plays13 days ago
#podcast #wildcard #nonsensicalnetwork #wildcardwednesday #comedy #cannabis #420 #counterculture #discussion #9outof10grannies
On tonight's Wildcard Wednesday, join Michael, Britney, and Josh while they discuss all things cannabis related. legalities, UAs, morals, ethics, and more! If you have any questions or yourself is a cannabis user and would like to provide some input, feel free to drop a comment!
Thanks for joining us! Please LIKE, SHARE and SUBSCRIBE.
NETWORK Links: https://bio.link/nonsensicalnetwork
Copyright Disclaimer: - Under section 107 of the copyright Act 1976, allowance is mad for FAIR USE for purpose such a as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statues that might otherwise be infringing. Non- Profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of FAIR USE.
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Transcript
Double Intro Mix-Up
00:00:30
Speaker
ah ah Please. You did it, buddy. You finished them. They were so cool. Well, it's still work in progress, but yeah. I love my card. didn't pay attention to what number I am. Am I the Joker? I want to be the Joker. here's Too late? yeah i just use I just used our first initials. There's no actual... Wait, I missed it.
00:00:53
Speaker
What the fuck? You missed it? Okay, it's only 30 seconds. Okay, guys. Bye. Welcome to Wildcard Wednesday. They got distracted by the intro. but some Weird intro.
00:01:06
Speaker
We love the intro. And Brittany's like, oh, I didn't even see it. i saw the beginning and then it freaking froze. Whatever, man. Okay, so I'm going play it again. so we're having a double intro tonight.
00:01:20
Speaker
Welcome.
00:01:52
Speaker
I got hair up. Derpadelic. All right. Well, apparently you guys enjoyed it. That awesome. I You a great job on the cards, man. Well done, bro. well I love it.
00:02:07
Speaker
I do need to add some more aesthetics to the whole thing, but yeah. That's fucking dope. I definitely have to put my hair up. Well, was like,
00:02:19
Speaker
I was like, well, Glick and I use skulls. the The main thematic of the network is sort of like that badass skull shit. I'm like, I'm going find Brittany and Michael one.
00:02:31
Speaker
I'm more than half dead. I agree. but One foot in the grave. Well, again, second do two intros, I guess two hellos and I's.
Job Loss Due to Drug Test
00:02:46
Speaker
Michael and Brittany is is with us tonight. Fucking weed the people. We're going to talk about weed. um Legalities of it, stories, ah downfalls of it, the the unfairness of of of some laws and rules, a whole bunch of stuff.
00:03:07
Speaker
um but kind of got thinking What kind of got me thinking about this, I think Brittany and were first thinking about this is Brittany recently had an incident incident at work.
00:03:19
Speaker
And unfortunately, the way the insurance industry is, um you want to rant a little bit about that, Brittany. So I got injured on the job.
00:03:32
Speaker
and it wasn't my fault. Let's say that we were out 10 different, like 10 people called out, basically, ah just about on the whole factory. And they were moving people around and somebody,
00:03:45
Speaker
It barely speaks any English, whatever, whatever. ah has never worked in the area that I work at. Was pushing the cabinets and one fell down on me and i got injured.
00:03:57
Speaker
So wasn't going to report it, but I kept getting hurt more and more during the day. And so I reported it. And so I had to get a piss test. And if you have weed in your system, you get fired.
00:04:10
Speaker
But when I get hired, they didn't care, you know, whatever. I tried to get one of the detox drink things, but it didn't work. So, yeah. So, i don't i do I would like to circle back around to those detox drinks. Maybe not tonight or maybe tonight, but that's definitely a topic all within themselves.
00:04:31
Speaker
um Yeah. but So, my heartache with that is is the fact that an accident happened, unfault to the person who got fired,
00:04:44
Speaker
All because they use recreational weed. Like, who would have, like, ah marijuana stays in your system for however long. Who knows if, like, I was smoking the week before, you know?
00:05:00
Speaker
Well, we know you. That's why. Face it. Anybody, anybody that is great. People don't. Bitches. There's my beef to the situation.
00:05:14
Speaker
All these straight Aero Generos, if they are, i don't know what the what the people calling out are. They're all calling out left, right, and center. The no good, dirty, lazy pothead shows up to work. Someone who doesn't work there hurts her on on a job he's not familiar with because untrained, which is not your fault.
00:05:29
Speaker
And now you're paying the price. It wasn't but my fault. That's what happens when you report a job injury. Lesson learned. Yeah, should have just walked out, said i was sick or something.
00:05:43
Speaker
yeah I hate lying. I'm not a good liar. So it's like, that's what it is. There are a few people there are like, because most, 90% of the people there smoke pot.
00:05:56
Speaker
Let's be real. harder things. You know, i think I think when it comes to society as a whole, I think 97% is okay with it. Or either okay with it, don't care, or they're just like,
00:06:10
Speaker
Whatever. like Literally, when I took my post-test to get the job, they were like, oh, don't worry about weed. We don't care about that. But no, I got fired for it. That's because insurance was a problem.
00:06:22
Speaker
Workman's comp. bullshit yeah It's like the moment... so for the Weed matters the moment they can weasel out of having to give somebody money. Yeah, I know. whatever a better job and i live right here they can still see me i'm gonna be like you know what i'm making more money now bitches and i get more sleep 10 minutes down the road hopefully fingers crossed just think it's uh ten minutes down the road hopefully strong
00:06:54
Speaker
i just think it's a i think I think that whole predicament is just reeks of bad ethics.
00:07:04
Speaker
Is this like there's people... never mind, I'm not going to say that live. No, we're not here to name call. We're not here to name call. I wasn't going to say any names regardless, but I'm not going to say too much anyways. so That's okay, because I don't use it a lot. You're good, Cam.
00:07:18
Speaker
You're good. Oh, shit. That's what I was doing. Welcome, Cam. How are you doing? Welcome to everybody out there listening right now. um Tonight is Wednesday. ah You'll be able to join Michael and I tomorrow morning for those guys who get the opportunity about 10-ish.
00:07:39
Speaker
Chronic contemplations. I heard some echo on my side. That was me. i It's done. oh ah You're good. He was like, shut his pants.
00:07:50
Speaker
My bad, my bad. I'm so sorry. You're okay. um ah where was Oh, yeah. And then Friday night, of course, you'll see Michael like and I again.
00:08:03
Speaker
Wow, three days in a row. What are we doing this week? We are doing short film. Oh, man. I'm having internet issues now.
00:08:15
Speaker
It's an all-around internet fiasco. Fuckery. i like I don't know if I'm frozen or if you guys are frozen. Oh, no. You're frozen. We're frozen.
00:08:26
Speaker
Testing.
00:08:29
Speaker
I mean. Oh, no.
00:08:32
Speaker
I'm frozen. Yep.
00:08:39
Speaker
I don't know if I'm. for I can't hear anybody. What is going on? yeah about now? How about now? It's. e
00:08:49
Speaker
um know that
00:08:58
Speaker
I'm not back. I'm not back. Yeah, you are. it's got to do it. Well, I was so. You have been. It would spin him the whole time. Gotcha. Gotcha. Well, I jumped out popped back in. I figured it's the only thing I know how to do.
00:09:11
Speaker
That's my only fix. What's that? Flirt flash tires. Change the battery.
00:09:19
Speaker
I am not a type of old guy.
History of Marijuana Criminalization
00:09:22
Speaker
hope you I'm trying to tell you you're good. You kept going like this. I thought I was stuck. I was like, oh man, I'm making a stupid face. There he is. Hey, Josh.
00:09:38
Speaker
What is up, you guys? Wow. We talked about it, and I believe we left off that we're going to do on Friday night. We're going to do some short films. Yes, yes, short films.
00:09:50
Speaker
What's that? i don't, never mind, just continue, short films. Short films, Friday night.
00:09:59
Speaker
ah Sorry about that internet fiasco. Man, it was my, before before before we went live, it was Michael and Britt. Now it's more me. And of course, Saturday night, you're gonna have Open Door Challenge, Nonsensical Nonsense.
00:10:13
Speaker
i think there might be a wrestling show. Oh, I think he has the... I can't remember if he's got cash. I don't know. I don't keep up with wrestling. And of course, ru I think Sunday, I think Sunday, sunday there's there's some rumors about the football show coming back soon.
00:10:34
Speaker
Soon, if not this week, it'll be soon. Yep. I'll see him tomorrow morning. i don't know if you want you care, but real quick. group.
00:10:45
Speaker
I'm thinking let's continue talking about our ah science alien quest. Okay. We've really scratched the surface. we We're still talking about the Karshav scale. Okay.
00:10:59
Speaker
aye We'll do that. Cool stuff. You guys stop by for some more alien talk with a couple of people. But speaking of stoners, oh yeah, and then of course there's there's there's Monday.
00:11:12
Speaker
i don't know what Wally's, his hours are crazy, so I don't think there's been and know ah ah ah a Monday or a Thursday. I know this past Tuesday, Glick didn't have a guest. Glick was feeling under the weather, so he took the time off.
00:11:27
Speaker
He's taking tonight off, too, of course. I think that rounds us back up today. So, yeah, let's get back on with tonight's show. Hey, guys. yeah, we're doing shit. I thought this is the pre-production meeting.
00:11:41
Speaker
and break well we we try to give a we try to give like a weekly you know you know idea what's going on throughout the week but the way i do it is so awkward and unplanned and unscripted and like oh i just remember i need to do that so and you may or may not have had an edible and you're super still right Best time to talk about weed is on weed, man. I'm sure i'm sure that's a huge, huge part to do with but i want But Michael said you're a little knowledgeable on the history of the legalization or the illegalization.
00:12:20
Speaker
History of criminalization, yes. Criminalization. I guess that would be the better word. All right, kids. Listen up. I'm going to tell you a story. I'm going to tell you a story about criminalization of marijuana.
00:12:33
Speaker
ah Back in the day, there were these cool, cool cats. They were jazz men and they were Mississippi Blues guys. And they liked reefer, kids.
00:12:45
Speaker
ah You know you like ah who didn't like the reefer? Baptists. And they also didn't like jazz men or Mississippi Blues men.
00:13:00
Speaker
So... What they decided to do was criminalize this devil ah devilish marijuana that they like to smoke. And that was the demonization really is a demonization of marijuana.
00:13:11
Speaker
They used these folks and they started talking about how, and again, this is the actual history. This is not my color on the history, no pun intended, not my color on the history, but people of color were very, very, very much oppressed, believe it or not here in this country.
00:13:28
Speaker
I know that's gonna seem shocking to you, but it's true. Folks of color were very, very oppressed. Some would say they still are. I'm one of them. Anyhow, what happened was they said, well, what are we gonna do to ruin their good fun?
00:13:42
Speaker
I know, let's tell everybody that if they do this stuff and we allow it, what they're gonna do is get into the communities with our good white kids, maybe co-mingle with them. Who knows, maybe you would have children with them.
00:13:54
Speaker
We can't have that. They'll be out there forcibly loving our ladies we don't want that so they started of demonizing the marijuana and they criminalized it well then it started like turning around again people like hey we like marijuana too we're white people let's have the marijuana so the government to shut people up where i did what was this is true this uh the government came out with this great idea that was an excellent plan.
00:14:22
Speaker
You can purchase a marijuana tax stamp. As long as you owned a marijuana tax stamp, you purchased and owned a marijuana tax stamp, you can possess and consume marijuana. Now, kids, take a guess how many tax stamps were created.
00:14:39
Speaker
Hold on one second. I want interject. Wasn't there some weird thing in the law in order to get your tax stamp, you had to provide a sample of the weed? But you couldn't have the weed unless you had a tax stamp.
00:14:50
Speaker
It was some sort of like catch-22 conundrum there. Catch-22 is they made zero tax stamps. You couldn't buy one. You couldn't have one.
00:15:01
Speaker
There was no amount of money to buy that stamp because they never created a single one. But that was the rule. Have a tax stamp. Have a marijuana tax stamp to consume and possess marijuana. yeah But there was zero, zero ever created.
00:15:14
Speaker
And that's how they kept it criminalized for so long. And now we're not looking at legalization in most cases, it's decriminalization in most cases, because as we all know, federally, it's still illegal.
00:15:26
Speaker
So no matter what your state says, the big, big gov, the ATF folks, you know, stuff like that, they can come in and still rate you. But you really, really got to earn that. I mean, the last decade, really, marijuana has just become pretty much off the radar as far as criminal activity and criminal sentencing.
00:15:46
Speaker
Unless you're a person of color, in which case you get a much stiffer sentence and you're not always, but a much higher rate of incarceration versus other folks.
00:15:58
Speaker
And that's the history of criminalization of marijuana in a nutshell. That's the Michael notes. The abridged version. There's a lot of information I could dump on you, but I'm not trying to really do that you.
00:16:11
Speaker
There is a lot. i mean, there's like, The whole creation of the the nar the Narcotics Act, you know categorizing each different drugs, the Nixon and administration and legalization,
00:16:25
Speaker
ah freaking classifying weed as and as a Schedule I narcotic. Schedule Yeah, it was just totally blitz. Fucking nuts. and but Who was you think the most?
00:16:38
Speaker
People of color. using them at the time, and that's why it was Schedule 1 for much harsher sentences. There were folks doing more time currently still for a marijuana possession than people have done for multiple murders.
00:16:50
Speaker
And it was such an anti-science conclusion, too, because there was a whole there's a whole freaking report, and God, I used to have that report memorized. The name of it, not the whole report.
00:17:02
Speaker
The Schaefer Report? it the Schaefer Report? Was it the Schaefer? don't know. was a whole report that the government actually sponsored that came out and said, yeah, weed wasn't dangerous.
00:17:13
Speaker
But that administration that that did that ignored the science. But now which we're going to say we're going to demonize it. Schaefer Commission.
00:17:24
Speaker
Schaefer Commission, yes. As the National Commission on Marijuana and Drug Abuse. well here You know, in the seventy s i believe. So that's Nixon. 1970s.
00:17:35
Speaker
Early seventy s
00:17:39
Speaker
that would this is 70s. This is what I was hearing when I was living there in Oregon.
Insights into Oregon's Cannabis Industry
00:17:44
Speaker
Which, God, I fucking miss that state. even worked in the cannabis industry for a while, too.
00:17:50
Speaker
So I got familiar with Oregon state laws because I needed to be a lawyer.
00:17:56
Speaker
Because in order to get your OLCC license that to handle marijuana, to sell weed and whatnot, you had to take 100 question tests right after you did the whole reading.
00:18:11
Speaker
And you had to get a particular score. But nothing stopped you from having two devices open and doing the test and open booking it. So I'm just saying. guess that,
00:18:24
Speaker
If I got a doctor and they feel like they have to go by memory, I'm getting rid of that doctor. I want to use the book, use all the materials possible to make sure.
00:18:36
Speaker
Yeah, no shit, right? That's the dumbest thing ever, having to know it all in your mind and not be able to reference. That just doesn't make sense me. What's that? joy of thinking of it I've never really thought about it like that.
00:18:51
Speaker
That's crazy. people in nursing Yeah, like having it all in your head like you need to have it. It's always nice to have like the books right there just in case.
00:19:04
Speaker
I want them to cheat on the test. Make sure you get the 100% man because it's my body you're operating on bro. Honestly, anytime I did cheat on a test I feel like I learned that shit more.
00:19:18
Speaker
stayed in my brain better because I did cheat. yeah You prepared to cheat, but you realized at the end you didn't need to cheat. cause you know kiss Because in preparation, you went ahead and memorized all the answers.
00:19:32
Speaker
Yeah, man.
00:19:36
Speaker
What he said, dude. And that's what school that's what school for is for, memorization. That's why weed is bad for school, because weed's like, let's think about stuff and learn.
00:19:50
Speaker
And school's like, no, you got memorize stuff. weed blocks your memory like while you were in school like at school or anything or before i smoked a couple times i smoked a couple times i wasn't i wasn't a big weed head in high school i was mostly liked beer in high school because that was the crowd i was with weed wasn't that easy to get when i was uh because lived in fort knox at the time And it wasn't as easy to get on an army base as it was outside. And if I did get it outside of base, I was too fucking scared to bring it on base.
00:20:29
Speaker
I'm not going to lie. That makes sense. Yeah. There was extra penalties.
00:20:37
Speaker
I just didn't want to be like sleepy at school. I don't know. Because I snore. so
00:20:47
Speaker
It's very obvious if I fall asleep in class. Wee doesn't... Alright, so have I taken a wee nap before because I'm comfortable or something?
00:20:58
Speaker
Yeah. But wee doesn't make me want to sleep. It doesn't make me just, oh, like I'm a narcoleptic or something. Well, when I was like 16, you know, when you're first starting out smoking, it makes you a little sleepy.
00:21:14
Speaker
Fair. You know?
00:21:17
Speaker
fair. It makes me not shut the fuck up. No, we're not. Michael's older than us. I want to know when fucking when when Michael smoked up with Jesus.
00:21:32
Speaker
I didn't start smoking until college. Jesus was my roommate. Smoking weed makes married life more tolerable. I read that in the Bible. Then I know it's false. and and i know But the proof that but I know it's false
00:21:49
Speaker
okay sorry Michael so but if you marry the right woman you don't need weed yeah but it's still but I still recommend smoking it because it still makes makes anything enhanced
00:22:05
Speaker
it helps keep me even tempered I'm sorry Brittany have you ever smoked weed or have you ever been married on weed man Jon Stewart. Right.
00:22:20
Speaker
All right, Brittany. Do you want to try to say what you were saying? No. you no I was saying because I couldn't hear i couldn't hear what Blake said because he was doing the hashtag Brittany feed.
00:22:36
Speaker
Was i ah You're talking like this and then you went to start to go down. Oh, man. no man Fuck, slap me. Slap me.
00:22:48
Speaker
Slap you. He but golic
00:22:55
Speaker
he punked out tonight. He's like, nah, guys, I'm going to go to sleep. That's bullshit. He's on the phone with Brandon.
00:23:08
Speaker
He can't even come in here and give us a fucking like. What a bitch.
00:23:13
Speaker
You know, i am what do you think there's some some some plausibility of the whole whole idea that smoking weed or even doing shrooms like rewires your brain, makes you think differently, kind of opens your your mind different... I don't know what I'm looking for.
00:23:34
Speaker
Kind of breaks down the the walls of conformity. ah guess that's way to put it. Oh, my God. I would say there's a potential there. but not necessarily for every person.
00:23:45
Speaker
It does that. Yeah, and I think it's different for everyone. If you're looking for deeper meaning, I believe that the psychotropics will help you find that deeper meaning. If you're looking for nothing but the status quo, and you just need some help sleeping, that also is a use for weed.
00:24:02
Speaker
Or eating.
00:24:05
Speaker
Or you just live in a country-ass town like I do, and there's nothing better to do. works, too. ah works Josh faded out again. Son of a gun, he's froze. Oh, yeah. No, it's... it's Yeah, I'm... but I'm here. You're breathing, dude.
00:24:22
Speaker
No, you guys are freezing on my end, so my internet's slow, so I don't know what you're saying. I'm just letting you finish. All I hear is, like, broken-up robot speak.
00:24:34
Speaker
So if I... I don't know when to interject, so I just sit here and listen until... Yeah, it makes it awkward, I know. No, you literally were, like, or anything. You were just like... Yeah.
00:24:48
Speaker
It's a bit... it's I'm not going to lie. It's annoying when it does this because I don't i don't know where the conversation's at or where it's going or anything. What's up, Untrackable? Untrackable!
00:25:03
Speaker
What up, slut?
00:25:07
Speaker
I don't know. I live in downtown Seattle and I love to live in a small country town. It is not bad at all. I can't go to any city, anywhere, ever.
00:25:18
Speaker
Especially downtown. Cool place to visit. The place in the world I'm trying to live, ever.
00:25:28
Speaker
I'm not running your city down, either. yeah I like Seattle. Last time I was up ah uncon fuck california in California January, we meant to go to Seattle, but it didn't work out. I unfortunately have not made it to Seattle. As far north as I made it I lived in Oregon. i was up to Vancouver.
00:25:46
Speaker
a i I kicked myself in the butt that I haven't made it up there yet. But I do plan on going back out there. It will happen.
00:25:59
Speaker
What is up, everyone? We got Scotto in the house. We got a new face. Junior, how you doing? Unless I don't remember you being around, but welcome either way.
00:26:13
Speaker
i We smoke a lot of weed, man. So I live in an illegal state that just went medically legal, but they're still working stuff out, obviously, because can't grow the shit over overnight.
State vs Federal Marijuana Laws
00:26:29
Speaker
But when it first rolled out, one of the things that bugged me was ah prior to actually passing a medical official medical marijuana bill.
00:26:41
Speaker
the governor signed an executive order saying, if you have a letter from a doctor, you can possess it. But there's nowhere to get it. So you would have to go to a neighboring state or get it black market in state or whatever.
00:26:58
Speaker
But then you had a local police departments, like for instance, the Metro Police Department down the highway of a big city that I'm close to. They literally came out and said, We don't care about but any letter from the doctor.
00:27:11
Speaker
We don't care about the governor's EO, which is weird because they technically fall under the executive branch. but anyway, they were still going to hem people up for the possession.
00:27:22
Speaker
And I thought that was so bugged. Just absolutely just like, just like, hey, people, ah public citizens that I'm here to serve. I know your governor or governor said it's okay, but, you know, we don't care. We're going to hem you up anyway.
00:27:38
Speaker
is like the opposite of the mentality we should have for freedom and stuff in this country. Well, the thing is, they can't do anything locally other than, oh we know you're doing this now, so we're going to tell the fucking feds.
00:27:50
Speaker
Well, no. but know that but The thing was, they know that you're going to get released out of jail. You're not going to go to court. You're not going to get convicted of a crime because the governor governor said it was okay.
00:28:02
Speaker
But they were just going to arrest people, throw them in the jail, just because they still could. Yeah, and then they like take everything that they have to. And that just that arrest right there, missing a day or two of work, I mean, all that. What if car gets impounded?
00:28:19
Speaker
All because you possessed it. And the cops who want to ignore what the governor said. That was an issue. course, finally it worked itself out when they passed actual legislation.
00:28:31
Speaker
But it boggles my mind that we have... Because I think one of the components that... components debt that goes toward the ah ah negative outcomes of weed possession or use or just weed adjacent is the fact that the cops, the they had this mentality. They understand that it's no big deal, but and not every single one, but a lot of them are like, fuck it. I just use this to beat someone or throw them in jail and fuck up their whole day.
00:29:03
Speaker
it's just It's just ridiculous. What is up, Moe Dogg? You either are a representative of your state or you're not.
00:29:15
Speaker
That's the whole confusion. i but People have spoken. Do your job.
00:29:21
Speaker
Personal feelings have nothing to do with it.
00:29:25
Speaker
um Personal feelings. yes but A whole lot more people who do things they shouldn't be doing against other people's will without consent and such wouldn't be making it to jail.
00:29:36
Speaker
That's the whole reason why weed illegal in the first place is because of people's feelings. has nothing to do with facts.
00:29:45
Speaker
And I think that just fosters the whole, you know, cops being allowed to do the same share or fill the feel the empowerment to do the same thing. And the law is about feelings anyway. It's supposed to be for the public good, public safety, right?
00:29:58
Speaker
That's why they... Supposed to be. It's supposed to be. Supposed to be. so why are these why are these legal? Explain that to me like I'm a six-year-old so I can understand it. Something that definitely has many, many ties to death.
00:30:10
Speaker
Exactly. Why is this legal? that legal? This will kill you too. It's the same thing. But it's a lot more dangerous from behind the wheel. That's for damn sure. oh definitely. One million percent.
00:30:21
Speaker
What, weed or booze? booze oh absolutely absolutely one million percent booze perhaps
00:30:34
Speaker
there's like this billboard around here gros no menthol makes a good chaser for the hooch menthols are nasty i was always i that um was a marble red guy mening but then i went to menthols but anyways there's this billboard It says just don't get high or something like that.
00:30:58
Speaker
ah Like it just makes me laugh every time I see it. Like what? ah I'll have to take a picture of it and send it to you.
00:31:09
Speaker
And then another one. What's it say It says don't get high. And then another one says just don't drive high. Something like there's a bunch of these like random ass. So with the whole driving high thing.
00:31:25
Speaker
I don't think... Okay. Weed's not your typical fucking... It's not like booze. We know this. There's tolerance levels. There's experience. There's a whole lot of things that come into use. I was about to say, you're experienced. Yeah. Yeah.
00:31:41
Speaker
Like, I would trust Willie Nelson to be fucking stoned and drive a whole fucking bus full of school kids before i would i would some 21-year-old kid that's never smoked weed in his life and he drives a bus full of kids.
00:31:54
Speaker
Yeah. I would trust Martha Stewart.
00:32:00
Speaker
If you're driving a bus full of kids, maybe just don't get high until after work. ah yeah all right That's the one time I'm i'm like, eh, maybe you can wait. Just in case.
00:32:11
Speaker
It's not that important, man. Well, that and that, and give the rest of us a break, dude. Don't screw it up for all of us getting high and breaking with kids, you jerk. Don't screw it up for all of us. Making us look bad.
00:32:22
Speaker
The fuck? oh My own personal reasons are why he shouldn't do that. It's all about me.
00:32:32
Speaker
I need this. There's no selfish reasoning behind it whatsoever.
00:32:40
Speaker
Sorry, I missed that dog problem. It wasn't important. It was just me running my trap. No, that's always important, though.
00:32:50
Speaker
Mo dog. Tongue in cheek as always. Mo Dog doesn't seem like he'd be a fucking dabber, dude. Oh, man. I wanna see dad i want to see Mo Dog riff a freaking gram dab. Have you ever ever seen those videos of people doing in a whole gram dab?
00:33:10
Speaker
I don't watch people play video games. I play video games. I don't watch people get high. I get high. Fair enough. Fair enough.
00:33:20
Speaker
but Some of them are pretty funny. Some of them are pretty funny. First of all, don't do that. Don't ever do that. Don't try to sit with kids. but We are trained professionals.
00:33:35
Speaker
Self-made marijuana superheroes. Definitely. And that makes me really kind of want to smoke right now i'm so I can like, that well,
00:33:54
Speaker
I'll tell you what, let's take a quick break and we'll come back and we'll share some weed stories. I know Michael's got some. A couple, two or three. You guys in the audience, if you guys got any questions or weed stories, drop them in the comments.
00:34:12
Speaker
Oh, there's a plethora of music here, none of them which I am familiar with, so I don't know what I'm playing. A plethora? A plethora. A plethora?
00:34:24
Speaker
I see in the boot and rally in there. we go Really? Press it. If you see it, do it. See you in 255, Gabe.
00:35:03
Speaker
Because I'm
00:35:27
Speaker
Baby
00:36:02
Speaker
Food in Rally, baby Food in Rally, baby Food in Rally all night long Night was a warning Should've seen it coming from the storm
00:36:35
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:36:59
Speaker
I take white shots for my size, you know won't dispute it And if there's something ain't seen before, I shoot it And if there's mezcal in her glass, I'll shoot it too And child, if there is something I ain't done before, don't do it Cause it'll probably be the ruin of you
00:37:31
Speaker
I dig her voice. She's got such a talented voice.
00:37:36
Speaker
For sure. Love me some Kelly and Boone Rally. Dope. Very mystic and seductive. and I don't know. i don't It's just good. drills me in.
00:37:49
Speaker
hi Welcome back. I want to throw some love at Junior Coltrane. This cat is cracking me up tonight. He was commenting through the break about the video.
00:37:59
Speaker
He said, she's a litter bug. Jersey, thanks for joining us. What's up?
00:38:11
Speaker
And then there's Junior one more time. He's just outshining me as a comedian tonight. Just running all the hot, hot comments. Speaking you Anything coming up lately?
00:38:23
Speaker
um not It is a comedy project, but it's not a stage thing. I can talk to you about it personally, but right now I can't really announce that yet. But I will be filming something this fall that's going to pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty important. and Ooh, looking forward to it.
00:38:40
Speaker
You guys can check out Michael Cobenhaven on YouTube, on Facebook. Check him out.
00:38:49
Speaker
Copenhagen with an R. it Copenhagen? I know you know, but it kills me. It makes me laugh every time. Oh, yeah, yeah. First time.
00:39:02
Speaker
They used to do Copenhagen. That's how it's spelled right there.
00:39:07
Speaker
Much better. Much better. There you go. You can click that link if you want to. It's going to take you nowhere right now. My website's being redesigned. It's probably going take me a while. No way. More?
00:39:21
Speaker
Well, tonight it's all about weed the people. If you smoke it, if you dab it, if you edible it, if you drink it Fuck, we're going talk about the drinks yet. Have you ever had one of the drinks before?
00:39:37
Speaker
I have. I have. Actually, the hat this hat that I wear all the time when go hiking, it's ah Magic Numbers. if They're out of Bend, to Oregon. They have...
00:39:48
Speaker
It's basically, think liquid death drinks, sparkling water infused with THC in flavors of cola. They have a cherry. I just found out that it was a thing.
00:40:00
Speaker
Like that they sell it for dispensaries and shit now. I they do mean, I knew it was always a thing, but. they They did in Oregon. I haven't really looked for the drinks outside of Oregon because only I only really liked theirs.
00:40:13
Speaker
They were out of all the drinks that I tried. Those are the only ones ever really liked. so caress that like button arresting caress that like button subscribe to the channel share us with your grays hashtag nine out of ten feet nine out of ten
00:40:34
Speaker
ten share us out share something to your mom your dad your brother your sister your homies your cousins everybody your really really religious in-laws that you hate Ah, yes, yes.
00:40:49
Speaker
Yes, if if you're somebody of the, somebody, an ex-Jehovah's Witness, and you really want to piss somebody off, send them me. Share them me with them. Share me with them.
00:41:01
Speaker
that'll Share them me with them.
00:41:09
Speaker
Yoda broke in there for a moment. ah words
00:41:16
Speaker
Dude, ah Magic Numbers, Magic Numbers ah infused drinks have been Oregon. you I mean, when i lived there, i I actually delivered a truck for them for for a couple weeks. I would take stuff up to Portland for them.
00:41:32
Speaker
And so I know if you're up and you're up in Washington, if you drove down to Oregon, you'd probably be able to find someone in Portland. They're fucking great drinks. They had a cola one. And yes, I mixed i did a whiskey and Coke.
00:41:46
Speaker
Oh, man. I got super extra head crossfaded that night. leader A liter of cola? Okay, Fargo. All right, Fargo.
00:41:58
Speaker
I want a liter of cola, you little shit. Everything tastes like schnozberries. The schnozberries taste like schnozberries.
00:42:09
Speaker
Candy bars. All right, that got weird. but Okay, yeah, some are movie quotes. Not until Friday. What's your favorite weed movie?
00:42:22
Speaker
Ooh, that's a good one. That's a good one. Half-Baked. Half-Baked's a good one. I like Grandma's Boy. Oh, Grandma's Boy. I forgot that one. Grandma's Boy.
00:42:34
Speaker
um my mind I was super fucking stoned when watched that movie, and I ah swear I did not remember it at all. yeah I was also drunk too. i My friend said I got up in the middle night to go to the bathroom and I just ran into the wall and fell down and went back to sleep. I ah like
00:42:57
Speaker
please john i was to say Half Bake. Half Bake is definitely my favorite one as well. and I was like, man, I'm have to think of another one. but no Half Bake is my favorite one. My runner-up would probably be Friday though.
00:43:11
Speaker
Friday is my runner-up. I'm backtracking.
Favorite Weed-Themed Movies
00:43:14
Speaker
She reminded me I forgot about Grandma's boy greatpa grandma Boy. Grandma Boy is up there. it's it's But it's not... I don't think it's it makes my top five.
00:43:23
Speaker
Yeah, for sure. but Oh, wow. How can I not? Oh, boy. Days days days in Confusion. Ooh, Up in Smoke's a great one. Man, I forgot about one that one. Up a great one.
00:43:45
Speaker
The one where Home Skillet We're the Millers, that was the pop movie. That one, yeah, they were trafficking a great ensemble cast in that.
00:44:01
Speaker
Jennifer Aniston? Yeah. Oh, the Dice Man. Andrew Dice Clay. you know that's As a comedian, Michael, what's your opinion of the Dice Man?
00:44:15
Speaker
I've never sold out Madison Square Garden.
00:44:20
Speaker
What you say? I never sold out Madison Square Garden. oh Fair enough. Fair enough. Would you look at these honkies? Did you know you hear you host dirty, filthy, specious, and gauges in a specious activity?
00:44:35
Speaker
Wait, what? I know who that is. Yeah, me too. It's just some dude. It's just some dude.
00:44:45
Speaker
but That makes me think of a movie, another plot movie I forgot about. If you get a chance, Brittany, check out the Snapchat group chat. That's where that's from. But go ahead, Michael. It's it's called, oh, boy. There's a dude named Tack.
00:45:02
Speaker
son Man. It's called. The Stoned Age. The Stoned Age. Kind of a terrible movie. Clifton Collins Jr.'s breakout role. I believe that was the very first thing he ever did. Clifton Collins Jr. love that guy.
00:45:18
Speaker
He's great in so many different roles.
00:45:24
Speaker
Biodome. no That was funny. Encino Man. oh oh That's a good one. There's so many plot movies out there.
00:45:36
Speaker
Yeah, i forgot. Reefer Madness. you ever see that? Fuck yes. Yes, I have seen that so, so long ago. something i you know You know, that's actually... Reefer Madness is actually under common common use now. We can actually play that on here.
00:45:56
Speaker
With no copyright. It's not copyrighted. Huh. Yeah, because it was... it was it was released You want to do that Friday? On a Friday. Yeah. On ah how long is it maybe we can do for this Friday's accounts of short film.
00:46:09
Speaker
Um, that was so much. What's the runtime reefer madness? God damn it. There we go.
00:46:22
Speaker
Mitch Hedberg used to do drugs. One hour and six minutes long. No, very bad. We could watch and comment on it. That'd be the only thing we'd watch. hmm. Maybe we should save that and do one of our other Patreon watch-alongs. Yeah. that's ah Either Patreon or we'll save it for April.
00:46:42
Speaker
Join Patreon, kids. You get the good stuff. Yeah. when Once I get my lazy ass to fucking finish uploading. know I like How High also with Breadman and Method Man.
00:46:54
Speaker
How High. Yeah. Ooh, that's a good one. Wiz Khalifa and Snoop Dogg did one. oh yeah thanks junior you finished it for me i used to do drugs i still do but i used to what's ever it it's like the high school or whatever one i know what you're talking high school high yeah high school high that's a good one it was one with the wayans brothers i want to say it was uh Don't be a mess to society while drinking or juicing the hood. but grandma's house
00:47:28
Speaker
The grandma's house had weed growing in every fucking room of her house. showing and down I think just about every scary movie is considered a weed movie, too.
00:47:40
Speaker
Because there's a lot of weed smoking in those movies, if I remember right. It's like they're always getting high and then they're dying. Yeah, yeah. Scary movie. Not scream, but scary movie that... that the parody.
00:47:55
Speaker
sp Oh! Brody Kid.
00:48:02
Speaker
On Halloween at the dance, they were rolling joints in the toilet and then that evil Daniel LaRusso, the antagonist of the entire movie, goes and pours water on him.
00:48:14
Speaker
I don't remember them rolling a joint, but I wouldn't consider that a plot movie, but I see your connection there. yeah it it's it's It's a plot movie, just like Die Hard's a Christmas movie.
00:48:27
Speaker
Fuck you, I'll die on that hill. I'm on your side with that one, for sure. You know what have been cool about Star Trek? How they had one episode that they fucking, like, Captain Kirk smoked weed.
00:48:40
Speaker
Who did Space Mushrooms. Oh, yes. Space drugs on Star Trek it is an arc they need to fucking explore, I'm just saying. I totally
00:48:58
Speaker
So we're obviously all on the same agreement for the legalization we across the board. Everyone who walked into this knew that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Obviously. so what other drugs? It's the most foolish thing
00:49:16
Speaker
okay what is your favorite like stone or music
00:49:22
Speaker
Like Stoner Band? Yeah. It's got to be Sublime. and Yeah, I was going to say Sublime or 311. I am a huge fucking Sublime fan. You know what's funny? Because I used to not be. i didn't know who Sublime was until after Brad and fucking died.
00:49:39
Speaker
So I was late to this the train on that one. But I blame that on my upbringing. That's all your fault. It's all my dad's fault.
00:49:52
Speaker
Yeah, I went past my dad and was like, fuck you. I'm going to listen to my music anyways.
00:50:00
Speaker
Bruh, Michael, what's your favorite? I like it busy, man. I like it busy. i like my head humming and beeping and booping and bopping. I like to jeep. I like to boogie and I like to jam. Give me some hookah.
00:50:11
Speaker
Give me some acoustic hookah. Give me some fish. Dude, give me some jazz. Give me some fucking... ah But I'm all over the place, really, when I'm high. I'll listen to just about anything. na John Williams. I'll listen to Star Wars, like the Star Wars soundtracks and shit. That's a good word.
00:50:28
Speaker
I listen to a lot of Tchaikovsky, a lot of Mozart, a lot of Beethoven. Okay. I bet the Star Wars soundtrack is awesome on fucking shrooms.
00:50:42
Speaker
Yeah. Some of them skipped through. like i don't like the Han and Leia love theme and stuff like that, but like the the good ones, like um the battle fight, the like the battle music gets camped up.
00:50:54
Speaker
Hey, it's Chris.
00:50:59
Speaker
Excuse me. My ah camera just decided to fucking die on the battery. yeah it's cool yeah home What's up, Chris? How you doing, man?
00:51:13
Speaker
I can't do this anymore. My shoulder's fucking killing me.
00:51:20
Speaker
It depends on my mood, too, though. Sometimes I'll just be listening to, like, some super hard death metal. And sometimes I'll be listening to, like, Nelly. You know, it's... when So, there's stoner groups that I... My favorite's Sublime. But when it comes to...
00:51:40
Speaker
Listening music while being stoned, it depends on what my mood is, what I want to listen to, because I'm all over the place, too. It's not one particular thing. Yeah.
00:51:53
Speaker
Whatever I'm listening to is stoner music. Basically. That's a good point. What stoner music do you like? Whatever I'm listening to and I'm stoned. Yeah.
00:52:07
Speaker
I dig it. I dig it.
00:52:14
Speaker
Huh. It was something I was going to ask, but I was fiddling with my battery and I totally forgot what was.
Discussion on Favorite Strains
00:52:21
Speaker
Oh, boner. Favorite strain.
00:52:26
Speaker
And this is a hard one because the amount of strains out there, because I've traveled from different states and legal states and I've seen the amount of, some them the same. You can still some of the same ones, but it's like each state has their own local ones too. It's like,
00:52:44
Speaker
so many out there. Wait, like brand or like actual strain? Actual strain. I don't even fucking, I don't need i don't smoke by brand. Right. hey Like that doesn't even, that doesn't even like compute my brain yet. Right.
00:52:59
Speaker
Is a good? Cool. all Oh, this is my, oh no. That smell like super cheesy. So like blue cheese has always been one that I liked. Cheese strangers.
00:53:13
Speaker
and They're like they stinky, they actually like dank. Big stinky limburger. Or like the more citrusy ones.
00:53:26
Speaker
Okay, I'm trying to think of one off the top of my head.
00:53:31
Speaker
With size like an obvious lemon head.
00:53:35
Speaker
Yeah. There's lemon tree. There's lemon tree. What I have right now. i'm partial I'm partial to Kush myself. yeah Kush and doughy strains, like Girl Scout cookies or cookie strains. Ooh, Girl Scout cookies is a good one.
00:53:52
Speaker
I fucking love me a good cookie strain. Do-si-do, Girl Scout cookies. Fuck, what is this one called? There is. There's a Kush cross with Girl Scout cookie that's phenomenal. I forgot the strain Oh, this is lemon cherry cookies.
00:54:12
Speaker
and I get this one a lot. Why is it lemon cherry and not cherry lemon? don't fucking know. Ask them, bitch. Sorry, I was aggressive. Garlic galactic glue.
00:54:26
Speaker
I've had some dope. I've had some dope-ass GG4 before. I've grown some dope-ass GG4 before. That's a good one. Really good. Another four.
00:54:38
Speaker
the horticulturist.
00:54:43
Speaker
Go ahead. I've had sourdee. I've had east coast and regular sourdee.
00:54:51
Speaker
One's more frueling than the other. It's weird.
00:54:55
Speaker
The horticulturists at Ohio University right here in the great Buckeye State came up with their own strain. I can't remember the crossbreed, but it is fabulous. It's a smooth smoker. I mean, it's a no-cough.
00:55:09
Speaker
Two, three hits, and you're fired, man. Wow, is that good shit. And it appeals to my love of Star Wars and Darth Vader. It's called Death Star, and it is a killer fucking strain.
00:55:24
Speaker
I've had Skywalker, OG. I've had Skywalker. I've seen it It's been a while, but... It's not a bad one.
00:55:36
Speaker
Like, I honestly, I don't repeat a lot of weeds sometimes just because I'll see a name and I'm like, yeah, it's funny. And I'll buy it for the reason of the name.
00:55:49
Speaker
Now, this isn't a settled debate. But when you hear when you hear something like OG, what does that mean?
00:56:01
Speaker
Like OG. Well, no When it comes to weed, it means something else. It's from one of the original four or five strains is one of the parent plants.
00:56:13
Speaker
It's like ocean grown. I've heard it's either ocean grown or outdoor grown as opposed to indoor grown. Like OG, Claire should be outdoor grown.
00:56:25
Speaker
oh or i know Exactly. yeah I've never heard of IG. Like I said, it's an unsettled debate. Just like the unsettled debate, where where did 420 go from?
00:56:37
Speaker
Or sativa indica. I'm not going down that one. I'm not going down that one. I'm so pissed off the way the industry took that and totally perverted the meaning of sativa and indica and hybrid and all that.
00:56:53
Speaker
Totally ignoring the whole concept of a land race at the same time. it's The industry has lied to y'all motherfuckers about how you smoke your weed and it's so sad.
00:57:05
Speaker
I just smoke weed because I like the way it makes me feel. Smoke weed by terpene profile.
00:57:17
Speaker
Sativa and indica, honestly, see, you made me go down it. Sativa and indica, honestly, was just was just a description of the phenotype of the way the plant looked. ah Indicas were short and stout leaves, and sativas were tall with lengthy That was really it.
00:57:33
Speaker
when of The bud structure is different, too. the but Yeah, the bud structure is different. But it's it's it's the way the the weed affects you, though, like all the THC is the same. THC just gets you high.
00:57:46
Speaker
But it's the terpene profiles that drives that high. And different strains have different terpene profiles. Some are heady, some are potty. Some are in between. Some are more on heads and vice versa. Now, ah hybrid, hi i and that's what a sativa to indicate is.
00:58:01
Speaker
A hybrid is just when you take one plant and another plant and you fucking cross them and you get a different strain. That's all hybrid. So technically, all weed strains that you go to the dispensary is technically a hybrid.
00:58:16
Speaker
Now, if it's something that's a land race, that's something that's, like, indigenous to that continent. Like ah ah like and Purple Hindu Kush that's fucking grown in Pakistan, like where where originally came from.
00:58:32
Speaker
Or, like, Hawaii has a land race. I forgot what it's called. But that's what Durban Poison. Durban Poison, that's a land race from from, I forgot where at over in the Middle East area.
00:58:46
Speaker
But yeah, there's my rant. That wasn't even ranty. No. um You're too chill to rant, bro. Yeah, yeah.
00:58:58
Speaker
Well, that's because I wasn't talking about 2025 War the Worlds. Yeah,
00:59:05
Speaker
yeah that one got a little heated. Yeah, you know what? Rotten Tomatoes, 0%. zero percent
00:59:12
Speaker
I was like, fucking vindicated bitches.
00:59:19
Speaker
ah Excuse me. Not even Kubay could fix that one. No. Yes, like Chris Technician said, smoke weed every fucking day. day. you over day Amen.
00:59:37
Speaker
Not just today, but every day.
00:59:43
Speaker
stories weed stories
00:59:47
Speaker
you know that's that's absolutely right it's funny how they used to say the world wouldn't be able to accept legalizing weed but now that it's legal it's no big deal and we've always been saying it all normal not everyone all of it i'm not gonna lie there for a little bit i was when i first when i got out of high school and joined the military there was a moment in time i was like oh drugs are stupid i would never we I'm not gonna lie. What's that? That's crazy. I can't even imagine that.
01:00:22
Speaker
That's funny. Oh, there's an old me that nobody can imagine. I look back at my old me like, what the fuck with you? What the fuck?
01:00:34
Speaker
Marijuana affects the memory. Junior Coltrane has told the same joke twice in a different way. And I'm going to say, I think you're wrong. I think my marriage or my previous marriage is a testament to that you're wrong.
01:00:50
Speaker
ah Totally just understood what you said, Mike. Yeah, go ahead and say that again, Mike. It wasn't important and i already figure forgot what it was. um That's what we said.
01:01:03
Speaker
Do-do-do. marijuana affects the memory
01:01:10
Speaker
say junior and i are on the exact same page tonight oh that's what it was i said uh marijuana affects the memory junior coltrane just told the same joke a second time and oh yeah but that's what it was the divorce thing he said it earlier but a different way anyway yeah yes and It was funny. Something tells me Junior has a wife downstairs. Man, why won't he just pass the ball?
01:01:42
Speaker
Remember that old fucking anti-wee commercial where the dad's sitting there but smoking his weed? If i only there was a way I could connect with my kid. The kid's sitting there smoking weed in his fucking room.
01:01:53
Speaker
It was some
01:01:56
Speaker
it was so It was some weird anti... it Well, that's not the way they they portrayed it, but that's the way I took it. I learned it from you, okay? ah learned it from watching you.
01:02:07
Speaker
yeah
01:02:10
Speaker
It's so weird. The D.A.R.E. program was an utter and total fucking failure. Yeah, dude, there's a really cool rabbit a really cool um a rabbit hole video about the D.A.R.E. program and what it really was and what the money went to, and how much of a giant waste that was as a program in general.
01:02:31
Speaker
Oh, God. It was a huge, huge fucking waste. You might have watched the same video I did. It was it the one where it described where the idea came from and how certain ah social science... might have sent it to me for all I know.
01:02:43
Speaker
Information was ignored in the way the cops fucking... It was the way the cops took it over and fucking ran the programs, which fucking made horrible. It wasn't so science-based at all. It was all politically driven.
01:02:55
Speaker
It was all Fifi's. sure It seems like during the 70s and 80s, all this anti-drug propaganda had nothing to do with actual facts of science, but it had to do with like people's feelings and what the Bible was telling them.
01:03:10
Speaker
Yeah. All about religion and politics. like's not here The rules don't apply.
01:03:21
Speaker
Wait, the only thing I asked my wife to say that was
01:03:27
Speaker
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. That's so one way to put it.
01:03:35
Speaker
Whatever works for you, man. Right. I think maybe you married the wrong woman. That's all. That's all I got to say about that. she one She's probably actually leaning over her shoulder telling and what to write.
01:03:49
Speaker
It's funny.
01:03:52
Speaker
Joke's See?
01:04:03
Speaker
ah Oh, my. So you said something about telling some drug or some pot stories pot stories. Yes, yes. Medicine.
01:04:13
Speaker
What? Medicine? so I made a misnomer. It's not drugs. It's medicine. Medicine stories. ah so Okay, go ahead and tell your story, but I want i want to i want to circle back about this because I don't... i i Stick with it now then while we're here.
01:04:30
Speaker
No, want to hear a story. but We all got stories. But I mean, if you want to talk about some, let's do it now. But, alright, so the whole medicine drug thing, there those both those words are interchangeable.
01:04:43
Speaker
They're sure. Completely interchangeable. But in my opinion, drugs has a worse connotation.
01:04:50
Speaker
People take it worse.
01:04:55
Speaker
Okay, yeah. Fair. um madam fair Fair enough, because but I think that's just because of years of indoctrination. Yeah.
01:05:06
Speaker
See, I don't take any drugs. I just treat my body like a toilet.
01:05:11
Speaker
once I was to say trash. Because, I mean, because sugar, i mean, sugar is used a medicine.
01:05:23
Speaker
No, sugar. So, anyway. e but i' i um I don't want to go get all postmodernist on it. within' you I think the yeah ah not i think seen there for another night legalization of weed is the wrong way to put it, too. It's it's not legalized.
01:05:40
Speaker
It's decriminalized at the local level in a lot of municipalities and a lot states. That's different than legal. It's not legal ever until the federal government unlisted. That's a good point.
01:05:52
Speaker
That's a very, very good point. Those two are not interchangeable. People don't realize that. They say, oh it's legal now. It's legal now. No, it's not. It's decriminalized here and here only in a localized capacity. The federal government still come in and wreck your day.
01:06:05
Speaker
Yep. Take all your money and all your weed. Let's hope that never happens. Well, it'd be a real bitch to be out two more dollars. I know, right?
01:06:18
Speaker
How can they take a negative? Right. Sweet, they get my debt. like yeah you but So i have i so um I have an issue with it. I think cops should be taking a drug test.
01:06:32
Speaker
I'm not saying because weed. I'm okay with cops smoking weed. I kind of wish more cops smoking weed. But it's the ones doing steroids and raging out that I'm worried about. The ones smoking weed are the least of my concern.
01:06:49
Speaker
I want my cops roided up on meth. That's our good decision. That's how I prefer them, you know.
01:06:59
Speaker
If they're not fine, they're taking care of shit. none It was that Artie Lang once said that the only thing meth is good for is if you have to walk to Buffalo over the weekend.
01:07:12
Speaker
yeah He lived in L.A. at the time.
01:07:23
Speaker
I agree. i agree.
01:07:28
Speaker
would go a step farther and I would take guns away from cops. But, you know, we're not going to get into my radical... It works in Great Britain pretty well. we We're not going to get into, like, my my radical ideas at the moment.
01:07:44
Speaker
Artie Lang needs a new... words
01:07:49
Speaker
if you want If you're making a joke about the pig story, that's hilarious. I thought he was making a cocaine story because he was a cocaine addict. Sure was. But there's a great story.
01:08:02
Speaker
There's a thing that's called um This Is Not Happening. not happening It was on Comedy Central. And comedians come on and tell stories. And there's supposed to be true stories to their lives.
01:08:12
Speaker
I'm sure they're a little bit you know amped up just because... Communic exaggeration is a thing, but they're all based on truth. And Artie Lang's pig story, man. You got to check that one out. Just look up. This is not happening.
01:08:24
Speaker
Artie Lang pig. That's all you need. This is not happening. Artie Lang pig. It's a great story. I did not know that, Coltrane. Mike, did you know that Artie Lang has full-on dimension now? He's living with his mom.
01:08:42
Speaker
What? That's pisser. Dementia sucks. Alzheimer's sucks. I have very, very much first first-hand experience, and sucks. He seems like too young to have dementia, but I don't know.
01:08:56
Speaker
He's my age, maybe a couple years older than me. That's it.
01:09:02
Speaker
yeah It is what it is, man. you get Early onset Alzheimer's, things like that. You never know when your brain's going to go, or if it's going to i do want to use this as segue, because you had brought up ah comedians telling true stories about their not- So we were going to talk about weed stories.
01:09:18
Speaker
Michael said he had one. I've got many weed stories.
01:09:24
Speaker
Pick one and share with the class. Oh, boy.
01:09:30
Speaker
Well, I told my... ah Yeah, early on, since it's rough, man. I wish nobody has to go through that. Everybody that gets older in my family gets dementia.
01:09:43
Speaker
coupled and or just Alzheimer's. Every person that gets older, in my family so far, and that's why I do what I do. I treat my body like a toilet. I don't want to get that old. Yeah, Sam. that's fine Let's see. How about, yeah, I just told one about it. Tried to confiscate my bag at the fish show.
01:10:02
Speaker
Told that last week.
01:10:06
Speaker
oh Gosh, I had one at that on the tip of my tongue.
01:10:12
Speaker
Howard Stern got fired.
01:10:15
Speaker
i heard i heard something. i heard some kind of rumblings about that. I hadn't looked into it. Okay. I got one. So my mom. I'm her primary caregiver.
01:10:26
Speaker
Man, I might not want to tell this on air. This could incriminate me. When I was growing up, my mom always wanted me to be a doctor, be a doctor, be a doctor. She had a whole other heart.
01:10:36
Speaker
She was always worried, you know, it was going to she was going to die early and I'd be living without a mom or whatever. So whatever you do, just you know ah do good in school. Go be a doctor and you can fix my heart for me. Blah, blah, blah. You know how moms are.
01:10:47
Speaker
Well, I did not do that, but. I do feel that I have sold and or given enough medicine to friends and family over the years that I am basically a doctor.
01:11:02
Speaker
So my mom's having all sorts of issues with her health. So you got a PhD, you got a pothead degree. Yeah, something like that. and And you're about to understand why.
01:11:13
Speaker
There's a reason I call myself a professional idiot. This is one of them. And again, there's no embellishment here. It's a 100% true story, just so you know. No comedic exaggeration. This is real. So my mom, she's got all sorts of problems. She's having a hard time sleeping, hard time with her... ah with her appetite, she hardly eats.
01:11:31
Speaker
So I thought, I know these edibles are killer. It looks like a little piece of Kit Kat. She loves Kit Kats. I'll just, you know, here, take one of these.
Accidental Edible Experience
01:11:42
Speaker
Now I said, there's, there's two in the package. I'm giving you one of them. Don't take the other half in the next four hours.
01:11:54
Speaker
Don't take the other half until I get home. Why didn't just put it up? i don't know. I'm a moron. Professional idiot. yeah I leave. I got errands to run. I said, I'll be back roughly in four hours. I mean, it was almost four hours to the minute when I got back.
01:12:06
Speaker
And she he said to me, ah you're here. i almost called the hospital. i almost called an ambulance. What did you give me? What was in that chocolate? and ah Apparently about 30 minutes after I left, she started sweating like a freak at a playground.
01:12:26
Speaker
She was on fire. She said she threw off all of her stuff and was just laying on her bed with her overhead fan going, trying to cool off. And she said, I almost called an ambulance, but then I thought, nope, it'll serve him right. If I end up dying here, he has to come in and view me like this and see my naked butt laid out on this bed.
01:12:45
Speaker
to torture him for the rest of his life. yeah Now, again, there's a reason I call myself professional idiot and I am not a doctor. These were 75 milligrams a crack. Holy fuck. Oh, no And this is a woman who's never once in her life partaged. Oh, no And that's why it is so hard. thought That is so much. What are you trying to Oh, no. Again, I'm not a doctor.
01:13:16
Speaker
true story. do that She will never ever ever trust me when I bring her candy now she says this isn't that special candy is it's
01:13:25
Speaker
oh um i don't love telling that story since tom segura's last comedy special because he tells a story about his mom and edibles the thing is i really don't care anymore that is a real true story i don't care tom's and his story beat me to the punch it's different and it's true and that is a really good story i've had my mom at shows I've had her come up and close shows by telling that story.
01:13:52
Speaker
I do my whole set and everything and I bring her up on stage and she'll tell that story and people are out there crying. It's the way she tells it. It's hilarious. She thought I was trying to wipe her off.
01:14:02
Speaker
She thought i was trying to take care of her so I could get to that get to that sweet, sweet inheritance. She's like, what did I do? I can't believe you tried to kill me. butbury Oh my God, it was hilarious.
01:14:14
Speaker
She's fine. She's fine from that. Everything else is killing her, but she's fine from that. Fuck yeah. I always wanted to give my grandma like an edible when she was getting bad off with dementia and all that shit.
01:14:28
Speaker
Well, it wasn't for dementia. This is more recent. She's stage four liver and kidney failure. She has a hard time with her stuff. She even told me that she was curious about it and she was the wife of a pastor my grandfather was a pastor so like her saying that was like mind-blowing to me i was like okay um i've often thought about slipping my mom in edible without her
01:14:56
Speaker
yeah yeah the are on argument the argument ah against that for bible thumber should be a your own book says god gave us all the seed-bearing plants to use yes thank you fuck yes thank you i just say don't need that i don't need that book to contrive rules yeah sure don't i'm saying they want argue use their book against them just like my dad saying do you do pot are you taking the pot
01:15:29
Speaker
great lady what go ahead just like my dad saying do you do po
01:15:40
Speaker
are you taking the pot ah You use a clean needle every time you do the weed. don't inject Don't inject a single marijuana.
01:15:51
Speaker
Not one time. Snort it.
01:15:56
Speaker
They used to do crap. Motherfucker, what the fuck? Anyways, that was far.
01:16:07
Speaker
That's a different show, Brittany. Settle down. Brittany, ah do you have a funny... story we related to share with the class.
01:16:18
Speaker
oh a lot but I can tell you about the first time I ever smoked weed.
First Weed Experience and Mishap
01:16:23
Speaker
I got shot at. Okay, I'm listening. I was 11.
01:16:29
Speaker
i was at my friend's house. Her sister's boyfriend was a drug dealer apparently, come to find out. Stopped at this house and he's like, stay in the car, everybody.
01:16:42
Speaker
And we did. He comes back out. And then we go back to her house. And 10 minutes later, there's like a banging on the door. and me and my friend are upstairs. And then somebody bust through with a gun.
01:16:54
Speaker
I'm like, get on the floor. You know, fast forward. i tried to go on the roof to to climb down the tree to go to the neighbor's house to call the cop. and the guy had already like grabbed all the money and drugs that homeboy had.
01:17:09
Speaker
And heard me up on the roof and he shot at me. and as i was coming back into the window yeah i smoked a blunt for the first time that day and you would think that i'd never smoke again you're an 11 year old kicking it at a trap house where the grow up oh my frederick and their dad he's like dying from lung cancer and like a fucking hospice bed in the back of the house he didn't know clue what the fuck is happening
01:17:41
Speaker
My dad was like, you're never coming here every time. Yeah, no shit. Well, I don't want to anyways. yeah Right?
01:17:53
Speaker
You're fucking hardcore. Blood in, blood out, motherfucker. ah I was going in the mosh pit too with Eddie. She was obviously a crip. She's wearing the blue. Hey.
01:18:09
Speaker
Oh, damn. Seawalk um was more
01:18:21
Speaker
mode. That was wow. That was the first time he ever smoked me. Why did he come and steal all the fucking drugs and in in money, though? That's what I don't get. Where's the backstory?
01:18:35
Speaker
There's a lot there. him onstream it She's there working on a portion. Yeah, like I fucking knew the whole game and shit. Like, yeah, homie was... yeah see I'm just worried about my mouth. I'm looking at blood. ah And he went after him he went after him with a can of mace.
01:18:58
Speaker
Back in my day, we didn't use mace. We were on the front page of the fucking newspaper and everything. was crazy. Back in my day, we didn't bring mace to a gunfight. ah We knew better.
01:19:12
Speaker
In my day, we knew how to fight. We didn't bring guns. Fair enough. It was just like a small little, like, leader, like, small little gun. It wasn't really much of anything. That's what she said.
01:19:30
Speaker
That's sad.
01:19:36
Speaker
Poor little thing. oh not a good sound oh so the weed story I do I do this is it's this is about my first time smoking weed after I got out there so would have been really my second first time before you well actually actually there was one to oh should I tell tell them about so I'll tell this I'll tell them I'll tell this but this is the first time I smoke weed after I got out
01:20:10
Speaker
um I had just started going MMI, Motorcycle Mechanics that Institute down Phoenix, Arizona.
01:20:18
Speaker
I hadn't been out long. Well, I had been out a few months. And the the school would would do random drug tests. So I was like, I'm not going smoke weed. don't want to busted, blah, blah, blah. But I wanted to experience getting high.
01:20:37
Speaker
So my dumb ass, I'm at the smoke shop. I was smoking cigarettes at the time. so i thought At the time, I think it was called Spice or Remember that shit in the stores? The smoke shop? here too Wizard smoke.
01:20:50
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. So I got got me a bag of it. I thought, let me try this out. Oh, God. That shit makes you trip hard. Oh, God. I know. i didn't I didn't. I felt sick to my stomach.
01:21:01
Speaker
I threw up. I did not feel anything good. like, this is is horrible. This is what this is. This is horrible. i don't want nothing to do with this. So next day rolls around. I'm at the smoke shack talking to some friends during break at class.
01:21:20
Speaker
A bunch of us are veterans because they had just allowed va a to help pay for ah technical schools with her but their GI bill. So I spent it for fucking two and a half years wrenching on bikes.
01:21:35
Speaker
So anyway, um and talking I'm talking, I'm sharing my story with with my my my marine buddy. God, this edible is kicking my ass. And they're all, course, they're all laughing at me because I'm the dumbass to smoke fucking spice when there's real weed.
01:21:50
Speaker
So the dude brings me a nug the next day. He's like, here, try and smoke fucking this. Smoke fucking this. That's all it took. That's all it took. And here we are today.
01:22:03
Speaker
wonder if it's like a nefarious plot like that bullshit, like the spice or whatever, was made to make kids sick and shit to not make them want to smoke real weed later in life. Well, somebody had a seizure at my buddy's house, and then after that, i was like, you know what? Nah, fuck that. I'm good.
01:22:21
Speaker
And that has a cheese and smells really bad. What does? The spice shit. Yeah, I wouldn't know. Pot curry.
01:22:32
Speaker
I never smoked a real shit. and was see After I smoked the real shit, I was like, how does anybody even want to smoke Spice?
01:22:41
Speaker
You see this comment here? I smuggled some my friends' urine into a drug test. Didn't end well. i see I hope it ends with it breaking because when you piss your pants with someone else's piss in your pants, that's worse than pissing your pants.
01:23:01
Speaker
but Never piss your pants with someone else's piss. That's bad. Bad every time. Ten out of ten times, it sucks every time. So when i went I go back over to work and I'm talking to people, one guy was like, man, why didn't you just ask me? like And his wife was like, yeah, dude, you should have asked him for his piss. And I'm like, well, first of all, I felt weird asking your husband for some pee randomly.
01:23:28
Speaker
May I please harvest your urine, sir? Oh, that reminds me of that fucking episode of Workaholics where it's drug test day. Yeah.
01:23:39
Speaker
I swear I don't got around to check that out. Poop dollar! Schitt's Creek. Sue turned me on to Schitt's Creek. been watching that. heard that's good. I like it. It's solid, man. I like it.
01:23:51
Speaker
i like When I first watched it and I tried to give it a shot, was like, ew, they annoy the fuck out of me. But it actually gets pretty good. Brittany, what's your favorite munchie?
01:24:02
Speaker
We're going to start wrapping this up. I want to hear y'all's favorite munchies. o so That's a hard one. Oh, ice pops. Right now it's ice pops. Like the long ones that are... That's what she said.
01:24:17
Speaker
ah ah and know why You know? know what you mean. Those are pretty good. I've picked up on a fucking day lately.
01:24:29
Speaker
When it's hot, those are pretty good. They definitely help with the cotton mouth effect. And, you know, like, working in that factory. Well,
Favorite Munchies Discussion
01:24:36
Speaker
not anymore. Whatever. Fuck them. Cheers. But, yeah.
01:24:40
Speaker
Fuck them. Fuck them. Fuck you.
01:24:47
Speaker
I hope they're watching. Oh, man.
01:24:51
Speaker
What about you? What's your favorite munchie? Yeah, Michael. What's your favorite munchie? Oh, give me some crunch and munch butter toffee. Ooh, that's a good one. That's I'm in a salty or sweet mood.
01:25:06
Speaker
See, okay, now that's, this is where my favorite, this is where my favorite comes in. like salty and sweet for my munchies. I got two favorite munchies depending on, like for the summer's watermelon.
01:25:20
Speaker
But however, my go-go-to is Nutella as a dip. and Frito scoops to dip into Nutella. I know. i know it sounds horrible.
01:25:33
Speaker
It sounds disgusting. That is not the most stoner thing I've ever fucking heard. But it is off the wall amazing. I have never had Nutella.
01:25:46
Speaker
Hot chocolate chip. What the fuck's a hot chocolate chip cookie? um Like right out of the oven. Oh. that's really oh a hot chocolate. I was thinking hot chocolate. enjoy doing You've never had Nutella? It's hazelnut spread with ah coconut. tar coconut or
Show Wrap-Up and Humorous Mentions
01:26:06
Speaker
coco It is really good.
01:26:11
Speaker
Glick's Derp Squad. Man. Man. Yeah, I love me some Crunch and Munch. I've got some in my mouth. i'm going to have some after the show.
01:26:25
Speaker
to
01:26:28
Speaker
I can't do this as well because my arm's all fucked. Well, speaking of the end of the show, we have made it to the end of the show. oh We did it, guys. We did it. Yay.
01:26:43
Speaker
Without passing out. Without passing out. What? yeah that's because we're not doing six-hour marathons right now.
01:26:54
Speaker
we didn't get to
Teaser for 'The Britney Effect'
01:26:55
Speaker
anything shut up stay tuned stay tuned loyal viewers listeners coming soon the britney effect our newest show once she figures out what the hell it's going to be and who's to do it with i totally forgot about that not surprised don't worry don't worry this will never happen we're not going to subject you to that we're not going to do that no i want to i want to Thank you, Chris.
01:27:24
Speaker
Good watching. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you everybody, for watching. Thank you, Junior Coltrane. Yeah. He's killing it. much Fun guy. I like him. He's fun. Or I'm assuming he's fan.
01:27:37
Speaker
Somebody got a star. hey but you have an Who is this to? She's the hottest woman in the whole bar. Probably really easy. That was when he was commenting on the video while we were playing Callie in the Moon Rally.
01:27:52
Speaker
Oh, that's right. ah That's right.
01:28:01
Speaker
Hell yeah. Anyway, say goodnight, Brittany. Goodnight, Brittany.
01:28:17
Speaker
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Speaker
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