Transcript
Speaker: Welcome to Bigger Talks with Eric Bigger, a podcast dedicated to delving into unexpected conversations with a diverse range of guests.
Speaker: I'm your host, Eric Bigger, and I'm joining you each week to create an authentic space of dialogue about the subcultures of American life.
Speaker: Through engaging discussions with writers, actors, experts, and influencers, we will explore the strength of diversity and the transformational power of vulnerability.
Speaker: So let's dive in and discover the unexpected together on Bigger Talks.
Speaker: Bigger Talks, Bigger Talks.
Speaker: Listen, people, I'm excited.
Speaker: This is going to be an incredible episode.
Speaker: You don't understand.
Speaker: I feel like a kid again.
Speaker: I got Bachelorette, season 13, Rose Boys, one of my surf, mascot friends, Matt, months in the building.
Speaker: And we're going to talk about life after The Bachelorette, Bachelor in Paradise, Oats Reality TV,
Speaker: show, reminiscing.
Speaker: So we're going to bring you back into that portal of our season.
Speaker: There we go.
Speaker: Matt, how are you?
Speaker: I call him Matty Knight, Steve.
Speaker: But Matt, how's it going?
Speaker: How are you today?
Speaker: How you feeling?
Speaker: Welcome to Bigger Talks.
Speaker: I got to say, man, I appreciate you having me.
Speaker: It's been a minute since I downloaded these.
Speaker: So I had to dust the cobwebs off before I got on you today.
Speaker: So yeah.
Speaker: Where you been though?
Speaker: Where you been out here?
Speaker: You been here.
Speaker: Yeah, I've been there.
Speaker: I've been here.
Speaker: Hey, the people up there are amazing.
Speaker: You know, they're authentic and real, right?
Speaker: You could take the boy out of the East Coast, but you can never take the East Coast out of the boy.
Speaker: NCT area, baby.
Speaker: I'm coming back.
Speaker: People told me, Canada, we're coming back.
Speaker: That's what I hear, but I'll believe it when I see it.
Speaker: There we go.
Speaker: There we go.
Speaker: All right, man.
Speaker: So let's get into it.
Speaker: So how has life been since people who don't know, you will know today, Matt and myself was on season 13 of The Bachelorette with Rachel Lindsay.
Speaker: And we went pretty far on the show.
Speaker: Matt got me out of a lot of dark spaces and places at the time.
Speaker: We became great friends.
Speaker: And we've been connected ever since our show has been aired from ourselves.
Speaker: And we're just here to bring back those energy and reminisce.
Speaker: But for the people who don't know and the people who do know, how has Matt been coached show altogether overall?
Speaker: What's new?
Speaker: What's the latest and greatest?
Speaker: How's life?
Speaker: That's a loaded question because truth be told, it's been a minute.
Speaker: It's been a minute since we've been on, right?
Speaker: We got almost a decade-long period of time that we get to look back on.
Speaker: We're lucky enough that we were able to have these moments where we reconnect because
Speaker: What people I think who are trying to understand what we went through, right?
Speaker: Because it is almost such a surreal situation that you never saw yourself in.
Speaker: And nobody tells you how to prepare for it.
Speaker: You know what I mean?
Speaker: We're just winging it.
Speaker: Making it up as we go.
Speaker: Flying by the seat of our pants.
Speaker: That's what they say, right?
Speaker: So I think what's cool for people who are fans of the show, you don't see a lot of the relationships that we, and the bonds that we build with one another while we're on air, right?
Speaker: Because you deal with one relationship and that's with the guy and the girl.
Speaker: And that's what everybody wants to see.
Speaker: But you don't see as much of the bromance as everybody likes to call it.
Speaker: You don't get to see as much of that.
Speaker: And the funny thing is that's what lasts after the show.
Speaker: After the cameras get put away and the lights go down and everything, that's what we get left with.
Speaker: So for a decade now, I've stayed closer with some people like yourself.
Speaker: I've faded off with other people, which...
Speaker: Sometimes I actually regret a little bit because it was such a special time.
Speaker: I mean, it's a once-in-a-lifetime thing, and if I were to have anybody try to connect to it and how they can relate it to something that they might have experienced in their own life,
Speaker: It's probably like having been in a fraternity or a sorority.
Speaker: I mean, it's a moment in time.
Speaker: Everybody's going through it together.
Speaker: And no one else can understand the history and the experiences that you've shared unless you were there in that moment in time.
Speaker: So for us, we're linked for life because we did something that's, face it, it's not real life.
Speaker: Like I said, it's surreal.
Speaker: Yeah, I mean, I think for me, I mean, for both of us, we didn't know where we were walking into when we got our limo for the first time.
Speaker: Shout out to Rachel Lindsay.
Speaker: Shout out to ABC.
Speaker: Shout out to Eli.
Speaker: Shout out to Bennett, Peter.
Speaker: Am I missing any producers named Eddie?
Speaker: Shout out to Shabby.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Lindsay.
Speaker: Don't forget Lindsay.
Speaker: Julie.
Speaker: Julie.
Speaker: Julie.
Speaker: Julie last week.
Speaker: You know, she was like, hey, how's Matt?
Speaker: I was like, Matt's great.
Speaker: I talked to him actually two days ago.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That's right.
Speaker: Cause he's from Connecticut.
Speaker: I'm from Connecticut.
Speaker: I was like, Oh, that's right.
Speaker: She's like, he said, to be honest, Eric, to be honest, you group of guys were probably like maybe the last season of like the real people before all this media stuff took place.
Speaker: So to people who don't know, Matt and I was on a show in 2017.
Speaker: So I think 2017, that was like the beginning phase and stages of Instagram deals and brand partnerships, throw my following,
Speaker: They get fame and all those things.
Speaker: We didn't know that before we went on to the show.
Speaker: We wasn't aware of that.
Speaker: They're actually casting people who have a father who might help the show, right?
Speaker: That's a good point, yep.
Speaker: But anyway, she's from Connecticut.
Speaker: She spoke highly of you.
Speaker: And she's OG, just like we are.
Speaker: now.
Speaker: We're the world.
Speaker: I think at this point, it's safe to classify ourselves as OGs.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So, you know, shout out to everybody from the show.
Speaker: Everybody will experience life with us.
Speaker: I mean, Matt did.
Speaker: Not only you did, you know, The Bachelor, you did Bachelor in Paradise.
Speaker: That was a whirlwind, right?
Speaker: That was a different time.
Speaker: That was a whirlwind.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I would say, not to cut you off, but before I forget, because I forget now, I'm getting old enough.
Speaker: And I would regret forgetting one of my regrets, actually.
Speaker: is you come off The Bachelor and the wound is so fresh, right?
Speaker: Because it's such a magic carpet ride that you get pulled off of.
Speaker: In the fall, it's hard.
Speaker: You're out there cut off from civilization, basically.
Speaker: Everybody knows by now, people talk about it.
Speaker: No phones, no news, no television, no nothing, no social media.
Speaker: And you crash back into your normal life.
Speaker: Pretty soon after that, your phone rings and it's, do you want to go on Bachelor in Paradise?
Speaker: And it's hard to turn it down because the world we live in, popularity only lasts for so long.
Speaker: So it's like, are they going to want me next year?
Speaker: Probably not.
Speaker: So I got to strike while the iron's hot.
Speaker: But truth be told, looking back, if I had to do probably a few things differently, one of them would be, and you could say what it might be for you.
Speaker: But I would say that I would have waited a year.
Speaker: I would have just let everything cool down.
Speaker: I would have got back to normal.
Speaker: I would have gathered myself a little bit for whatever that's worth.
Speaker: And I would have waited and I would have gone out with you and Kenny King.
Speaker: Shout out Kenny King because- And definitely Joe who I've met, who is our kind of people, you know what I mean?
Speaker: Definitely he's a real dude.
Speaker: I would have waited a year.
Speaker: I formed a lot of relationships that I wouldn't have had if I didn't do that year with Iggy.
Speaker: I got closer with Dean than I ever thought I would.
Speaker: Diggy, yes, Diggy was there too.
Speaker: I got close with Diggy.
Speaker: I still talk to Diggy every week.
Speaker: That probably would have never happened if, in fact, I didn't go on with those guys.
Speaker: My biggest takeaway from it is it moves so fast.
Speaker: I don't move as fast as the show does.
Speaker: So when you're going through your cycle, so to speak, it almost is two steps ahead of you.
Speaker: So you almost have to catch yourself and realize, what am I doing?
Speaker: And how can I make this experience better?
Speaker: How can I, for all intents and purposes, how can I figure out this sort of disposition on camera?
Speaker: I went out of Pear Deck and I still was not really that comfortable with the camera.
Speaker: As people know, they didn't really see a ton of me.
Speaker: but just caught in a whirlwind and it doesn't slow down.
Speaker: Like a tornado?
Speaker: Yes, chaotic.
Speaker: Also, too, let's talk about that, right?
Speaker: Let's talk about being on TV, but not really being seen on TV, but even though the camera's on.
Speaker: So on our first season of The Bachelorette with Matt and myself, we went pretty far, made it to top six.
Speaker: We were in Switzerland together, right?
Speaker: Yeah, when we went on our... Three-on-one date, right?
Speaker: We're three-on-one, yeah.
Speaker: But here's the thing.
Speaker: So he was top six.
Speaker: So at that time, that's probably more than five weeks on TV, right?
Speaker: I think it was like six weeks, actually.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You didn't get to see much of him.
Speaker: You would think because he's there so long, you would see more.
Speaker: And so this is where we got to start thinking about the character building and the narrative they're trying to create to make TV opposing what the viewers think, right?
Speaker: Right, right.
Speaker: So when like you and Adam, I mean, shout out to Adam.
Speaker: He's a father now.
Speaker: He has two kids, two little boys.
Speaker: Looking happier than ever.
Speaker: Adam just celebrated a birthday.
Speaker: I think they just celebrated maybe an anniversary.
Speaker: Matter of fact, they got two beautiful children.
Speaker: So worked out well for them.
Speaker: I think for you in that space, for any of us, I mean, we never had no blueprint for what we were doing.
Speaker: So, the know not to go or to go to paradise, it's like, how do you know not to go and to go?
Speaker: You know, so for you on that position, being top six, not visibly seen on TV as you should, how did that make you feel emotionally and mentally?
Speaker: And what was your perspective after that when you had to make a decision?
Speaker: Did that teeter or have some type of influence on your decision to go to paradise?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That's a great question, because truth be told, that in that time and space, while the show is on TV, that's when they call you to go to Mexico.
Speaker: So you're basing your decision whether or not to do Paradise off of what your experience has been so far on The Bachelorette.
Speaker: And at that point, if I'm being completely honest with people, it was a little frustrating because as much as I was enjoying replaying this great experience back
Speaker: and getting to see a lot of the things I didn't see during the process.
Speaker: At the same time, people who turned their TV on to watch me, they were not necessarily fans of the show, but they wanted to watch because they wanted to see me.
Speaker: And then they're not seeing me.
Speaker: And I realized that you're not seeing me.
Speaker: It probably didn't bother me as much as it bothered them not to see me.
Speaker: I was so nervous about if you did see me, how was it going to look?
Speaker: It was almost, you know what?
Speaker: There's a lot of actors who still to this day, they don't watch any of their material.
Speaker: They don't watch any of the TV shows, movies that they've done because it's
Speaker: They cringe when they see it.
Speaker: It's not a comfortable thing.
Speaker: Anybody who has an experience watching yourself on television, it's not an easy thing to do.
Speaker: I mean, it's cool, but you're always wondering, what are they going to show?
Speaker: Are they going to characterize me?
Speaker: Am I going to like it?
Speaker: Are people going to respond to it?
Speaker: Are they going to be offended by it?
Speaker: So the biggest thing for me was we're not seeing you.
Speaker: And it didn't bother me at first.
Speaker: You might see me, you know, keep watching.
Speaker: You're going to see more and more.
Speaker: I'm on there for a while.
Speaker: You know, I didn't want to give anything away, but I'm on there for a while.
Speaker: Time goes by.
Speaker: You still not see me, but somehow I'm still hanging around.
Speaker: But now that the question that, you know, what are we going to see more of you?
Speaker: You know, like, I don't even like the show.
Speaker: I want to see more of you.
Speaker: That's what I'm watching for, you know?
Speaker: Man, I remember having actually a quick moment with my father who, he don't watch any reality TV, but obviously he's watching TuneIn for me.
Speaker: He didn't care if he saw little bits of me or plenty of me.
Speaker: One way or another, it didn't bother him.
Speaker: He was just enjoying the experience too.
Speaker: But he said, you know, I
Speaker: I can't help but notice that we're not seeing a lot of you.
Speaker: And he was just checking me like, yeah, how does that make you feel?
Speaker: That was the first moment where I'm like, you know what?
Speaker: I wanted to tell my pops.
Speaker: Like, it is kind of getting annoying because so many people are asking me and they don't leave me alone about it.
Speaker: So...
Speaker: before I get on too much of a tangent to bring it back to paradise.
Speaker: Then they start asking me to go on paradise.
Speaker: Even a lot is following me like, we got to do this or what?
Speaker: I'm like, I don't know, because I can't even understand why you want me.
Speaker: You don't put me on the first.
Speaker: That's a great point, man.
Speaker: So, I mean, you start to feel a little bit like a seat filler.
Speaker: Like you're in there to take up space, but you're not really serving a purpose.
Speaker: So for me, I'm like, what's the point?
Speaker: It sounds great.
Speaker: Everybody always asks too.
Speaker: You're making a little bit of money.
Speaker: You're getting paid to have a good time, basically.
Speaker: You're sitting on the beach, getting a tan, meeting people.
Speaker: You're on a resort.
Speaker: It sounds great.
Speaker: But I'm almost a little bit paranoid now because I'm like,
Speaker: I'm not doing anything for your television show.
Speaker: So you get a little paranoid, like, well, you're just kind of using me now.
Speaker: But I trusted, again, shout out to Elan.
Speaker: I trusted Elan that he told me there would be a moment for me, which there was at the end of The Bachelorette, and that people are going to want to see more of you.
Speaker: And for people who don't know Elan Gale, you don't question his intelligence.
Speaker: He's a smart dude.
Speaker: I said, I'm going to ride with him no matter what.
Speaker: Creator of Fuckboy Island.
Speaker: Oh, man.
Speaker: And what's the new one?
Speaker: Yeah, it's a new one.
Speaker: If anyone watches that on reality TV, he's created that show.
Speaker: So he's one of the EPs, executive producers, if I'm not mistaken.
Speaker: And maybe you write it.
Speaker: I'm not sure.
Speaker: But he's got a lot to do with it.
Speaker: He's a genius.
Speaker: And he's a good dude.
Speaker: And he just told me, you know, basically, trust the process.
Speaker: Like athletes here, right?
Speaker: I mean, like anybody that does anything in entertainment hears from people who are, you know, trying to guide them.
Speaker: And I trusted him.
Speaker: You know what I mean?
Speaker: Not everybody do you trust, but I trusted a lot.
Speaker: And he said, just keep going with me.
Speaker: You know, let me let me bring you along.
Speaker: So I said, fine, let's do it.
Speaker: And I went out there and actually, I always go back to this.
Speaker: But you can't help but mention the fact that we were the year that almost ended the show, really.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker: That's when the scandal broke up, you know, and I had to go that season.
Speaker: I think it was season four, season five.
Speaker: Yeah, I believe five, yeah.
Speaker: I went the following year.
Speaker: But to go back off what you said on making that decision, it kind of feels like, or felt like to me when you were saying it, it was like telling your people to come to your ball game and then you're not getting in the game.
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: Why am I going to tell you all to watch?
Speaker: I'm going to watch them more.
Speaker: Because it's like, no, absolutely.
Speaker: Because like, they're not putting me in the game, so why are you going to put on the jersey?
Speaker: You're not just satisfied with just having a position.
Speaker: You're grateful, but like, show me.
Speaker: Like, what are we doing?
Speaker: Put me in the mix.
Speaker: Right, right, right.
Speaker: And so...
Speaker: I want to preface that to people listening.
Speaker: There is a shadow side to The Bachelor.
Speaker: Oh, hell yeah.
Speaker: Just like reality television.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: You know, there's moments where mentally, emotionally you are off because you're worried about how you're going to be viewed.
Speaker: For you, you went out there.
Speaker: Then that's when a scandal happened.
Speaker: All hell broke loose.
Speaker: I think y'all was in The Bachelor and Paradise.
Speaker: How did you grow through that?
Speaker: How was the experience for you altogether?
Speaker: I mean, if you want to know the truth, I was a little relieved.
Speaker: Really?
Speaker: Well, I mean... No, I'm saying really the place like, shit, tell me more.
Speaker: Really?
Speaker: I mean...
Speaker: you caught in that tornado, you know what I mean?
Speaker: Where like, you know, I come from a small place, so I didn't know a lot of people who did this before me.
Speaker: It's not like I could pick anybody's brain.
Speaker: Like, what do you go through?
Speaker: How was it?
Speaker: You know, like there's a couple of people now who have been on from a similar area to me and they reached out before they went, like almost a little bit scared.
Speaker: Like, what's this going to be like?
Speaker: I didn't really have that.
Speaker: So I was just going into it blindly.
Speaker: So I'm on this magic carpet ride, basically.
Speaker: When I got off the bachelor, I was like, okay, I'm going to go home.
Speaker: I'm going to chill.
Speaker: I'm going to collect myself and be with my family, be with the people that I love.
Speaker: And then hopefully I'm going to have another opportunity.
Speaker: But instead, I decided, like I said, you got to strike while the iron is hot.
Speaker: And people actually want you to do this.
Speaker: They're calling me now.
Speaker: They may not call me in a year.
Speaker: You never know.
Speaker: You never, never know.
Speaker: Hey, I mean, again, not to go off topic, but I don't even know if we're going to get a Paradise this year.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: You did say that a few weeks ago on a call.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And you think the ratings are low?
Speaker: Like, what's going on?
Speaker: Oh, it's just kind of watered out because it's like it's not the same as Chris Harrison has left.
Speaker: We brought that up.
Speaker: Yeah, I mean, we talked about a lot.
Speaker: He's no longer with him.
Speaker: But I mean, I think people were looking for a breath of fresh air.
Speaker: And strangely enough, it came with an older cast.
Speaker: I mean, people really gravitated towards the new show, towards the Golden Bachelors.
Speaker: People were loving that.
Speaker: So now they want, from what I understand, they want to produce more of that content.
Speaker: I think it was good for them because they reconnected with some of their audience that have been with them since day one.
Speaker: I mean, people that are in their late 50s and 60s and 70s, now all of a sudden they can connect more with people who are part of their peer group.
Speaker: So I think they've found, it seems like, that the rating skyrocketed.
Speaker: So then they said, you know, we got to go where the money is.
Speaker: Maybe Paradise is...
Speaker: This luster, I guess, in a way.
Speaker: I mean, even on the business side of TV, I always think about the perception side.
Speaker: You know, I didn't realize that the two hours in paradise that it's a game.
Speaker: It's really like, yeah, you got to be yourself in it, but it's all about chess and not checkered.
Speaker: Right?
Speaker: Hell yeah.
Speaker: There was so much stuff I've done on camera that never made it to the camera.
Speaker: Right, right.
Speaker: Oh, I mean.
Speaker: When I had said something all day and I was like, oh, I'm bilingual.
Speaker: I speak two languages.
Speaker: And they're like, what is that?
Speaker: Body language.
Speaker: You know, the girl laughing.
Speaker: You don't catch that.
Speaker: When I'm like, that's a woman on the beach.
Speaker: You don't catch that.
Speaker: You don't see it.
Speaker: You just being a villain, right?
Speaker: So I say all I have to say, at the end of the day, reality TV in any capacity- It's a business.
Speaker: Right?
Speaker: You don't sell tickets.
Speaker: You don't have a show.
Speaker: Right, right.
Speaker: But us, we were kind of new to it.
Speaker: We were kind of like the older cast, too, on our season, as far as the men.
Speaker: Ryan was the oldest at the time.
Speaker: And that's what it was.
Speaker: Fast forward, you do two shows.
Speaker: update the people on like after that you know you did some stuff in uh connecticut i'm pretty sure and then from my experience from what i know you did attract a relationship am i wrong yeah yeah honestly you know oh gee who probably was the first person if i can remember who had a real actual relationship post show outside of the show
Speaker: from someone that wasn't a part of the show.
Speaker: Right, right, right.
Speaker: And I can recall.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: You know what I'm saying?
Speaker: I think I got into a relationship probably while Paradise was still on the air.
Speaker: You know what I mean?
Speaker: So... Spilling the tea.
Speaker: It's a double-edged sword.
Speaker: You go on the show with the intention of you want to meet somebody.
Speaker: I mean, I would say, especially with our cast, I thought we were a normal group of dudes who it hadn't worked out for.
Speaker: Who knows what reason?
Speaker: But now we were gearing ourselves towards, man, we're going to make a big enough commitment to trying to meet somebody.
Speaker: And we're going to do it in front of the world.
Speaker: So you go on there, you come off, people come to know you as somebody who's looking for somebody.
Speaker: So what I always thought was interesting was everybody's trying to set you up.
Speaker: I don't know if you had this experience.
Speaker: I mean, it's different for everybody, but I know that like where I'm from, right?
Speaker: The fact that I'm older, I'm single, is not all that common.
Speaker: Most people around here are linked up by now, very kids, whatever.
Speaker: So the instant reaction of the people who are watching the show, knowing that you were, man, he went on there because he wants to meet somebody.
Speaker: I mean, that's what people boil it down to.
Speaker: That's the premise.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker: Which was true.
Speaker: I mean...
Speaker: I was willing to take a leap of faith and hopefully it would work out.
Speaker: So in the long run, it did.
Speaker: I met somebody.
Speaker: But I remember at the time, like everybody's trying to hook you up.
Speaker: That was for me.
Speaker: Everybody's got somebody for you.
Speaker: And I think is that not only that everybody else is trying to hook you up, the people, the person you're meeting or trying to be with you is trying to hook themselves up with you.
Speaker: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker: Because I always fought through, you know, or have a challenge with, is this person really for me or are they with me because no one really speaks to that.
Speaker: I've met people and I say, well, I don't care about that.
Speaker: It's like, yeah, but that's the only way you know me.
Speaker: Right, right.
Speaker: You don't care about it.
Speaker: Now, if I wasn't in that lane on that platform, would you feel the same about?
Speaker: But it's hard to say that.
Speaker: It's hard.
Speaker: You'll never really know.
Speaker: I don't know what that was, but when I saw you and your person you were dating at the time together, it seemed like you guys were happy, you were happy.
Speaker: Right, right.
Speaker: However, there's a thing that comes up when you're on a show, especially as a guy, and predominantly in the audience is women.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Followers are women.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: There's no denying them.
Speaker: If you can be with someone, I'm not sure for you, but I know some of my past relationships, I'm not saying that the women I was with were highly insecure, but that was a factor that it was always about another woman.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: I mean, I can only imagine what it would be like.
Speaker: I mean, even if the tables were turned, right?
Speaker: If you were a female that was on TV all the time and men were off, were looking at you like, this girl's single.
Speaker: she's open to meeting someone like the DMS fill up.
Speaker: People are making advances towards these women.
Speaker: Like they're pretty much.
Speaker: Wow.
Speaker: I mean, this girl's beautiful.
Speaker: I mean, yeah.
Speaker: I mean, I think I'm gonna make a move.
Speaker: I'm gonna make a move.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: I always say, I think groupies,
Speaker: people who are considered groupies are smart.
Speaker: Why wouldn't you want to be with the best of that world or that lane that you're looking at, whether it's sports, entertainment?
Speaker: You can see the old digger, you can see this, but let's just keep it real.
Speaker: That's a great match to line up with, right?
Speaker: Yeah, hell yeah.
Speaker: He had blamed somebody for shooting a shot, but I mean, the fact of the matter is that
Speaker: You come off the show so you get categorized as somebody who's looking for somebody and then you have exposure.
Speaker: So you get introduced to people and you come in contact with people who you might otherwise never have met.
Speaker: So for me or you, being in that position, you're like, damn, I'm being exposed to a whole new world that I would have never have come across if it wasn't for the show.
Speaker: I'm going to try to navigate and see if there isn't somebody else, whether it be somebody that I meet from the show, which people have done, or somebody off the show.
Speaker: So again, you get back to kind of striking while the iron is hot.
Speaker: So yeah, I mean, it felt like it was a double-edged sword because you could meet people
Speaker: But then you add, again, you're navigating, you're trying to figure out what people that I'm actually being introduced to and that who are messaging me or whatever the case may be, which ones are really interested in me or they're interested in like what I got going on right now.
Speaker: So it's, you know, you got to use your judgment.
Speaker: as far as just getting a sense of people and who they are.
Speaker: Also, if you are lucky enough to hit it off somebody, that's a difficult experience for them to go through because you're popular at the time.
Speaker: So there's some...
Speaker: resistance there yeah yeah yeah it's not reality to them so they don't even understand it they don't know it you would nuke towards so I can only imagine you think it's a devil you think it's a youth it's not easy like you I mean it didn't really change me having been on television I was still gonna be the guy that I was I still had certain parameters that I was gonna you know lines that I was gonna live in between so like for me even though
Speaker: There might have been a bigger pool of people that I was sort of at that my options were at the time.
Speaker: Like I was not going to indulge.
Speaker: I just, it's not me.
Speaker: So like, if I'm with you, I'm with you.
Speaker: I'm not doing anything else.
Speaker: That's just who I am.
Speaker: You know what I mean?
Speaker: That's how I'm built.
Speaker: But on the other side of the coin, you can't help but think about it, especially, you know, as a woman, you got your antennas up a little bit.
Speaker: You're like, yeah, he's a good dude, but you know,
Speaker: How do I know that this doesn't really do more for him than he really lets on?
Speaker: You know what I mean?
Speaker: Maybe when he's out.
Speaker: And women don't trust women.
Speaker: They don't put anything past other females.
Speaker: So as prime and ready as you are for a relationship, because that's how this whole thing started.
Speaker: I went on a show to find a girl.
Speaker: There's still a lot of questions that are like, you know, it's new to you.
Speaker: So the relationship's new to you.
Speaker: The exposure's new to you.
Speaker: How are you going to deal with it?
Speaker: You know, are they going to be able to focus on me?
Speaker: Are they focused on everything else that comes with the show?
Speaker: So, and all the meanwhile, they're just wondering, am I going to be his first priority?
Speaker: You know, am I going to have to worry about him?
Speaker: So it just creates a lot of insecurity, a lot of anxiety.
Speaker: And even though you may seem like a prime candidate because you literally went on a dating show, everybody thinks that guy, it's what he wants, that he's going to follow through with that.
Speaker: He's going to make the most of that.
Speaker: There's that other stereotype that gets placed on us where it's like, nah, he's just going to soak it up.
Speaker: Nah, he's just going to go have a good time.
Speaker: And some of us didn't.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Oh, absolutely.
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: But I always say, I tell all women, I say, listen, you can say what you want.
Speaker: You can say how you feel respectfully.
Speaker: But I don't think any woman, I could be lying.
Speaker: Women, please comment.
Speaker: DM me.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Wherever you hear, see this episode.
Speaker: No woman wants to be with a man who don't attract women.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Not the prize somewhat in their world.
Speaker: Maybe you want a guy that nobody wants.
Speaker: I don't think that's true.
Speaker: I doubt it.
Speaker: I think you caption the guy that every girl wants boosts your ego as a woman.
Speaker: So there's always this push-pull thing I think happens with some people.
Speaker: Without a doubt.
Speaker: Where there's a resistance, but you know, the truth is you don't want someone nobody wants.
Speaker: She wants a guy that's a catch.
Speaker: Use the catch.
Speaker: Matt Munson.
Speaker: Anybody that's trying to deny that is lying to you.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You know what I mean?
Speaker: That's maybe part of their decision when they got with you.
Speaker: It was like, yeah, but I don't care about that.
Speaker: No, no, you do care about it.
Speaker: Right, right.
Speaker: Because everywhere you go, someone's going to ask you about it.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: By the way, if you're that.
Speaker: I think in the past, for me, it was like, when is this going to end?
Speaker: Enough is enough.
Speaker: Like, I don't want to be reminded that nobody wants to be reminded that that person is
Speaker: was on a dating show.
Speaker: All people want to do is ask that person, what was it like being on a dating show?
Speaker: Meanwhile, if you're dating someone, that person is sitting on the other side of you like, oh man, this shit's getting old.
Speaker: You know what I mean?
Speaker: Listen, I've dealt with that in public where it's like, I'm talking about to this day, you know, a fan of someone to come up and approach with,
Speaker: Bravery.
Speaker: The show is what?
Speaker: 2007?
Speaker: Brazen, brazen bravery.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You play it off.
Speaker: Your pores are your professional.
Speaker: I don't have people follow me.
Speaker: It gets a little different.
Speaker: There are some fanatics out there, but I think some people just don't respect boundaries because when they see you on TV, they just feel like they know you.
Speaker: They know.
Speaker: Oh, absolutely.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Whenever you play, they feel like that's you.
Speaker: all together.
Speaker: And I just think you, no one was really get to meet the real you.
Speaker: I just want to give you your flowers because when I was on the show, a lot of people was coming to me for help, but I was able to go to you for help.
Speaker: You was there, bro.
Speaker: Like you looked out for me.
Speaker: You gave me some advice.
Speaker: You was like a real big brother, right?
Speaker: Appreciate that.
Speaker: You made me feel comfortable speaking on how I felt and not confuse myself.
Speaker: Because the show was trying to confuse me.
Speaker: Because I was really bong.
Speaker: I've never been in a relationship, never been in love.
Speaker: So I was coming in my character.
Speaker: And I'm like, this is about, you know, I don't sell off the golf cart.
Speaker: Let's talk about the basketball game.
Speaker: But yeah, you and I was in a basketball day.
Speaker: And by the way, Matt not only is a great brother and a great friend and he supported me in my tough moment, but he also can play basketball.
Speaker: Yeah, but you would never know.
Speaker: We had a basketball day and Matt was cooking.
Speaker: Let me tell you something.
Speaker: He was cooking up.
Speaker: He was like, Steph Curry out there.
Speaker: I'm like, tell him, hey.
Speaker: I said, man, what's going on?
Speaker: I said, brother, you got to stop.
Speaker: So, in like a little competitive moment, I'm going to be on this guy's team because just as an individual outside of the show, because he ain't showing no remorse.
Speaker: He was just like, hey, I'm bringing it.
Speaker: I think our relationship built and we built such an authentic connection.
Speaker: I'll say this.
Speaker: And then there was a term, people who watched The Bachelorette Season 13 with Rachel Lindsay, there's a term that goes, there she is.
Speaker: Right?
Speaker: Too bad, Martin.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Is the creator of that work.
Speaker: Then you go back and watch the 10th season, just be aware of where like, there she is.
Speaker: And so I'll let you go.
Speaker: I mean, I'll let you speak on what I just said, but if you can elaborate on where did the there she is come up and how did you get to that point on the show?
Speaker: Well, I thought it was twofold, actually, because I think we were, that was kind of Brian's like instant.
Speaker: She walked through the door, he pretty quickly was there she is.
Speaker: So then we started to imitate a little bit.
Speaker: It took out a life of its own.
Speaker: And to me, it was like, it was just a way to get into the moment of like, everything's got to turn up now.
Speaker: The smile's got to be bigger.
Speaker: I mean, we were all, listen, you're a bunch of dudes who see nothing but one another.
Speaker: for all day long, sitting and playing cards with each other.
Speaker: We're all by the pool.
Speaker: We're looking at each other.
Speaker: So when a woman enters the room, you're just like, thank God we need some female energy in this place.
Speaker: So it was just like a way to flip the light switch on that when we saw her come in, it was like,
Speaker: And it may have even extended beyond just Rachel.
Speaker: It might have went to other females when they came in, whether it be producers or whoever was coming into the room in the moment, we would just say, there she is.
Speaker: Because it was like, oh, man, now we can stop looking at each other.
Speaker: And there's a woman in the room now.
Speaker: There's 20, 25, 15, 12, 10, whatever, however it got whittled down.
Speaker: It's all dudes all the time.
Speaker: Yeah, awesome.
Speaker: So it was refreshing to see a woman.
Speaker: And I thought that was just like a way to lead into that.
Speaker: Like, there she is.
Speaker: Everybody looked in that direction and it changed the whole mood of the room, basically.
Speaker: And it was the thing.
Speaker: I even used that term outside of the show.
Speaker: There she is.
Speaker: It was a habit.
Speaker: It was almost a habit, right?
Speaker: Yeah, it was fun.
Speaker: And then I think those are moments I miss the most.
Speaker: You know, when we were drinking in, we were in Copenhagen, I think.
Speaker: When were we in Copenhagen?
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: Yup.
Speaker: I was like, Shabby, get the wizard.
Speaker: There's video of that.
Speaker: There's video of that.
Speaker: I may or may not be.
Speaker: Nice.
Speaker: Never think you would be it.
Speaker: I think I might have tried to make it seem like I could dance for a minute.
Speaker: That's a classic video.
Speaker: That's out there.
Speaker: What people don't realize is, I think by now, so many people know a lot of the mechanics of the show, how it works, everything, but those were late nights.
Speaker: We were up 2, 3 in the morning.
Speaker: It was nothing.
Speaker: That was nothing for us to be up that late.
Speaker: Roll ceremonies.
Speaker: Man.
Speaker: A lot of tequila, a lot of champagne.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And you're running out of adrenaline.
Speaker: So there's excitement.
Speaker: There's a little bit of anxiety.
Speaker: So that was one of those moments when we were all just like winding down at the end of the night, enjoying each other's company.
Speaker: And to be like, you know, to your point,
Speaker: Some of the moments that we probably will never forget.
Speaker: And that, you know, the first thing you think about, man, the camaraderie, that downtime, that was pretty special.
Speaker: I mean, we're talking about, we're getting on now.
Speaker: It's all closer to a decade ago.
Speaker: And we still think back, you know, we look a little older now.
Speaker: And it's exciting and it's fun.
Speaker: I remember being on the 3-on-1 date.
Speaker: And I think you and Rachel had left and then you didn't come back.
Speaker: I was like, it kind of hit me.
Speaker: Like, we're mad.
Speaker: All they sit him in the van, he gone on.
Speaker: I'm like, what?
Speaker: So in my mind at those moments, I had to really think like, oh, it's getting real.
Speaker: Let's get close.
Speaker: There's no more fun time.
Speaker: Like, yeah.
Speaker: Closest friend, you and Adam, y'all are my closest friends on this show.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: Oh, they cheap money, bitch, you know?
Speaker: He went home and then it was just like, damn, thank God me and Brian had a good time.
Speaker: We ended up at the end, but more importantly, man, what I love about the show and about you, I actually came to Connecticut, right?
Speaker: You did.
Speaker: We hung out.
Speaker: And we kept our bond and our relationship.
Speaker: And I think that's what's more important than me and anything.
Speaker: All of life, forget TV, take TV away, is the relationships I built and who you were and how you showed us to me when I wasn't even around.
Speaker: And I think, you know, this time around, like right now, I think it's your time to get back in the limelight, you know, maybe a podcast for you, maybe radio, maybe a new paradise is coming.
Speaker: You got Love is Blind.
Speaker: I mean, people ask you all the time, like, would you do it again?
Speaker: To me, I've said this before, whether it be on podcasts or just in person with people.
Speaker: And I'm like, I can't say absolutely fast enough.
Speaker: Because it's unmatched.
Speaker: You can't explain it.
Speaker: You can't duplicate it.
Speaker: You can't duplicate it.
Speaker: People are like, would you do it again?
Speaker: In other words, like, ah, do you have any regrets?
Speaker: Do you wish you might have not?
Speaker: I would do it tomorrow if they called me.
Speaker: Because you don't know what you're getting into.
Speaker: And that's a very general way to put it.
Speaker: Because you don't know if you're going to meet the love of your life.
Speaker: You don't know if you're going to get to travel.
Speaker: You don't know bonds like this.
Speaker: You don't know who you're going to meet.
Speaker: I mean,
Speaker: Why would you limit yourself if the opportunity came to me again?
Speaker: It'd be a no-brainer.
Speaker: The other part of it is, it's been some time.
Speaker: Because there have been a couple instances where COVID affected it and whatnot, but where I was almost going to go back on, and it was very close.
Speaker: Been through all the different background checks, all that pre-production stuff.
Speaker: Some things happened, but looking back, I'm like, you're so excited because you want to do it again.
Speaker: But at the same time, once you get in that world, in that setting again,
Speaker: and there's some time that's gone by, I mean, it's like, you hoped that it would be like riding a bike, but you don't really know.
Speaker: I mean, you get re-intirated.
Speaker: Be careful what you wish for.
Speaker: You get in front of a camera again, people start asking you questions at 3 o'clock in the morning, and you know, you've been drinking a little bit, and you just want to go to sleep, and
Speaker: People think it's just a joy ride.
Speaker: I mean, they're like a real frat.
Speaker: A little bit.
Speaker: A little bit.
Speaker: I would agree.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker: There's some parallels to it.
Speaker: I mean, you can't prepare for something you've never been on.
Speaker: So when we first went on, how can you prepare?
Speaker: No, I don't think no.
Speaker: Even when you go a second, third, fourth, you never can be prepared for what the moment's on a break.
Speaker: So you don't know what the moment's on a break.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: You couldn't anticipate that before going.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And then also, that's just actually shooting the show.
Speaker: Now the show is done, and now you've got to sit on it for a little while.
Speaker: I was pretty lucky.
Speaker: You didn't see a lot of me.
Speaker: But the upside to that is I didn't have many opportunities to get typecast as whatever.
Speaker: You know what I mean?
Speaker: Like you did by being the villain.
Speaker: You know what I mean?
Speaker: Like you go from being the good guy and then now you have some moments where people are questioning your motives and all that.
Speaker: You got to be ready for that too.
Speaker: So you be at peace with it.
Speaker: You know, you leave it in the past.
Speaker: I wasn't on TV a lot, but at least people, the little bit they did see me, they liked him.
Speaker: Now, okay.
Speaker: You know, you want to go down that slippery slope again.
Speaker: You want to do it again, but be prepared.
Speaker: It might not go as smooth as it did the first time.
Speaker: So now you might go on again and, you know, you might see yourself in the foot and now you come on TV and people aren't as happy with this version of you.
Speaker: You know what I mean?
Speaker: So now it's like, should I have well enough alone?
Speaker: Now I'm back in it again.
Speaker: Sort of the long story short is, you know, we got to try to live in the moment, be thankful for the experiences that we had, not be constantly sort of digressing.
Speaker: You know, the past is the past.
Speaker: It was great for so many reasons.
Speaker: And this is evidence right here, you and me talking.
Speaker: This would have never been.
Speaker: You've got to look at all the good things that came from it and make peace with it.
Speaker: And then just be open-minded because who knows?
Speaker: Opportunity might come again.
Speaker: You never know.
Speaker: And would I jump on it?
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: All that being said and all the good, bad, happy said, two years after Pope's show, how has relationships in general with people, with, you know, date, like how has it been for you?
Speaker: Like post all of the hoopla.
Speaker: Now that we've been here, people don't understand the show is not real life.
Speaker: We have a real life.
Speaker: We're still people who have professions, who have to pay the bills and all these things.
Speaker: Sometimes it's a component to your life where you're like, okay, done that.
Speaker: But what do I really want?
Speaker: How do I go about it now that I'm this new person, entity, energy?
Speaker: And for you, being in Connecticut, a small town, getting all that vision, how was dating Polk Show after the first or second?
Speaker: I don't know how many relationships you had Polk Show.
Speaker: Right, right.
Speaker: Not as easy as people might think.
Speaker: I think, you know, sort of the stereotype is that
Speaker: I remember even you and I did some radio and I remember one of the things was this host that I, to this day, she's great, Gina J from a local radio station here in Connecticut.
Speaker: And she was just like, how are we supposed to believe that any of these guys had a difficult time dating?
Speaker: They got to go on a show.
Speaker: Really?
Speaker: Are we supposed to believe that they ever had any trouble meeting someone?
Speaker: But the fact of the matter is, for whatever reason, you're going on a show because it's not that easy for you.
Speaker: So, you know, you've got some hang-ups.
Speaker: You've got some commitment issues.
Speaker: You know what I mean?
Speaker: That's one thing that I, you know, I guess we've got to be honest about, too.
Speaker: Like, people are like, why hasn't this person met someone?
Speaker: Seems like everybody can meet somebody if they focus on it, they put their mind to it.
Speaker: And a lot of the drama and a lot of the entertaining aspects of the show that people connect with is like, this person looks good on paper, but in reality, they got some stuff.
Speaker: Yeah, I mean, my biggest thing was I was afraid to commit to you because I didn't want to be abandoned, right?
Speaker: My moment sign is a Sagittarius.
Speaker: People like their space and they want their freedom.
Speaker: They're optimistic.
Speaker: But I also know that.
Speaker: then that's the world.
Speaker: And here's the thing about being on a show, dating show.
Speaker: That's what I kind of realized over the years.
Speaker: People who are in relationships, yeah, they might be in love and they might be happy, but it's not even about that.
Speaker: I think most people, depending on how they were raised, I think most of it don't really know their real self, right?
Speaker: And you could be in a relationship and because I've done so much work,
Speaker: I've attracted people who didn't really know much of themselves.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: So commitment is always there, but you can't just commit to anything because it's available.
Speaker: I think once you get the roots of who you are, which you know that person to find you, but it is hard date when you call on TV, it's not easy, you know?
Speaker: No, because I,
Speaker: People put you in a box where they assume that you went on TV, so you must just be, you know, living that life.
Speaker: They might think you're desperate for love.
Speaker: Like when you didn't win or when I didn't get what I did out of it,
Speaker: Everyone would try to hook me up.
Speaker: I'm just like, no, I'm good.
Speaker: Like, I'm cool right now.
Speaker: I got all need.
Speaker: And so I just think the biggest thing that I've learned over actually is, is that the show really healed me in ways I didn't know.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: For you, what were some life lessons you learned from your experiences post-show, even on the show, that made you think about life differently when you was out on the road?
Speaker: Man, I mean, the further I get away from the show, it's a struggle for me because I look back and I go, man, there's a French saying, carpe diem, means seize the day.
Speaker: I feel like that was my quintessential moment where I said, you know what?
Speaker: I'm going to seize the day.
Speaker: I'm going to capitalize on this moment in time.
Speaker: I'm going to do something.
Speaker: that would scare a lot of people, I'm gonna go for it.
Speaker: And I think the further I get away from the show, like, I haven't been out there to visit you, you know what I mean?
Speaker: I haven't spent enough time traveling, doing things that, that was gonna set me up.
Speaker: That was gonna be my new approach.
Speaker: That was gonna be the new way that I live my life.
Speaker: You get a little bit, like, set in your ways too, especially as you get older.
Speaker: But I mean,
Speaker: What I learned from the show is, and what I always preach to people is, carpe diem, seize the moment.
Speaker: You have an opportunity, you got to take it.
Speaker: And I got to start practicing what I preach because what I think you do is that, you know, put yourself in a position or use your resources to try to create those opportunities for yourself.
Speaker: Like you've always tried to have been insisting upon me putting yourself out there
Speaker: Share your passions on Instagram.
Speaker: Like, do different things.
Speaker: Like, I go through phases where you see it.
Speaker: You see a little bit of what I'm about.
Speaker: And then I fall off for a while.
Speaker: And the fact of the matter is, people connect with that stuff.
Speaker: They want to learn who you are.
Speaker: And I think that sometimes I just kind of, like, get complacent.
Speaker: And... All that isn't true.
Speaker: But what I realized when I even came to Connecticut, and I think everybody listening that was going to watch this episode...
Speaker: Really take this in as a moment because I think it's very important and very vital for everyone to have more compassion and grace for themselves.
Speaker: What we got to understand is that it's not that you couldn't post more, do more, be more.
Speaker: Well, the environment you were living in doesn't consist of that.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: I live in L.A.
Speaker: So in L.A., this is this pencil town.
Speaker: It's about showing up, showing that auditioning.
Speaker: So the energy of the environment, when I came to Connecticut, I was like, oh, I can see I'm at cannot be so motivated at times.
Speaker: Right, right, right.
Speaker: I did motivating all the time.
Speaker: Then it gets cold.
Speaker: It's hot out here.
Speaker: Plus, I get it.
Speaker: I'm not saying, but if you're also what I'm saying is if you're not around it, if you don't got four or five guys that's wanting to, it's so hard to push yourself if no one else is pushing in that way.
Speaker: You know, everyone has jobs, they have family, they have kids.
Speaker: They're really locked into that world.
Speaker: And you're probably like the only one who's not, only thing you really had to do is move out of there and come to LA or New York.
Speaker: Right, right, right.
Speaker: I love so much about where I'm from.
Speaker: It's a big part of who I am.
Speaker: But yeah, it would have benefited, which I told somebody just last week when I meet people, I'm like, if you have the opportunity to go like you did, go.
Speaker: Because I'm speaking a little bit out of regret.
Speaker: I got a lot of life to live, so I can still do that.
Speaker: I can still try something new.
Speaker: But when I meet somebody who's below the age of 30, I'm like, you're thinking about it and you're considering it.
Speaker: You have the opportunity.
Speaker: The path is there for you to just, you know what I mean?
Speaker: You got to go.
Speaker: You could do it.
Speaker: You could do it for, I sound like people who were talking to me four or five years ago, but the energy is taking you there.
Speaker: You know what I mean?
Speaker: Somebody's tapping you on the shoulder and say, you got to go.
Speaker: All the particulars are in place for it to make sense.
Speaker: All you got to do is push yourself.
Speaker: All you got to do is take a leap of faith.
Speaker: You got to go do it.
Speaker: You might do it for a year and decide it's not for you.
Speaker: And then you might end up back in the same place you were, but at least you did it.
Speaker: Interesting story.
Speaker: The guy who I worked with,
Speaker: for almost 10 years, who put my name in for the show, actually.
Speaker: Oh, see?
Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: He lived in Connecticut his whole life, same area as me.
Speaker: And a great guy, good friend of mine, met someone, and she moved for work to the Carolinas, actually.
Speaker: And I think they moved to Charlotte, matter of fact.
Speaker: Anyway,
Speaker: This person got up and he went.
Speaker: And I mean, he was a creature of habit and he was someone who never left Connecticut and he did it later in life.
Speaker: So it's never too late.
Speaker: I mean, you never know again when the opportunity is going to present itself.
Speaker: You got to be willing to jump on it.
Speaker: You got to be willing to capitalize on that opportunity.
Speaker: He did it.
Speaker: He loves it.
Speaker: His thing now is, you know, he doesn't know if that's his home or if this is still his home, but he's happy.
Speaker: He feels better about himself that he took a chance.
Speaker: And I think there's a lot to be said for it.
Speaker: But when I meet younger people, I'm like, man, what I wouldn't give to be 10 years younger and have that opportunity, I would have just went.
Speaker: We all make decisions, you know, but we got to go for it.
Speaker: I mean, and I'm not ruling it out at this point.
Speaker: But here's the thing.
Speaker: What's what I realized?
Speaker: The reason you got to go for because the opportunity is going for you.
Speaker: If you get the opportunity, that means it's going for you, so you have to go for it.
Speaker: It's coming.
Speaker: You've got to meet it halfway.
Speaker: It's like someone's pursuing you in a relationship.
Speaker: You've got to listen to the universe.
Speaker: Yeah, listen to it, right?
Speaker: And I always say, if you don't take a chance, you can't event.
Speaker: You've got to take a chance.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: I love that.
Speaker: We get older.
Speaker: All we're going to have is lived experience on what we did do or what we didn't.
Speaker: We believe in this moment.
Speaker: We're going to have to remember this moment.
Speaker: I believe you're going to have a shot to get back on TV, be more visible, whether you're going to be commentating for the UConn Husky shots out of the UConn, right?
Speaker: Back-to-back chance.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: Nobody does that, but we did it.
Speaker: Yeah, you go.
Speaker: See what I'm saying?
Speaker: UConn radio station.
Speaker: Oh, you're back on one of these ABC shows of Icon.
Speaker: I just feel like...
Speaker: genuinely good people and people who are like, because I feel like your thing to go on TV to be visible is really not for you.
Speaker: It's about something inside of you that must be healed so you can really move to that part of you that you know you are.
Speaker: You hit the nail on the head because like the energy is still in you.
Speaker: It's like it's like the universe is like when I'm ready, I'm gonna give you this.
Speaker: But you got to say yes.
Speaker: Like, I feel like you know how you got something in you or some people listen.
Speaker: I'm pretty sure some people are married, been married 15, 20, maybe 10 years.
Speaker: And you probably still think about your ex in high school that you can't let go.
Speaker: Because you know it's not done.
Speaker: You know it's not done.
Speaker: It's deep.
Speaker: And so I feel like when those things are in your spirit and in your soul like that, and you can't shake it or erase it, that means it's not finished with you.
Speaker: Some part of it to be actualized in this time.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I mean, not to go down that rabbit hole too far, but like with people to, you know, compare that metaphor that you're talking about.
Speaker: Somebody that they were so in love with someone,
Speaker: But for whatever reason, timing was right person, wrong time.
Speaker: But now society has brought you and someone else together and it all makes sense for you to move forward.
Speaker: I mean, real life mirrors that a little bit too, right?
Speaker: People are like, well...
Speaker: You would go do that again?
Speaker: Aren't you more interested in settling down and doing all these things now that you're a little bit older?
Speaker: Listen, I'm not opposed to either or.
Speaker: If I meet the right person tomorrow and I fall in love, then we're going to get to it.
Speaker: I mean, I would love to be in a relationship.
Speaker: Sometimes you almost have to take a side road to get to your destination.
Speaker: I mean, I take a detour.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: I mean, people probably think it's bullshit, but I still believe that
Speaker: And we talked about it before.
Speaker: Adam is married.
Speaker: Dean is married.
Speaker: People that you didn't necessarily see it for.
Speaker: I mean, they were young.
Speaker: We were older.
Speaker: They were still in their mid-20s at the time.
Speaker: You never know the power of the given circumstances in that moment in time.
Speaker: Didn't happen for them right away.
Speaker: They met their person not long after.
Speaker: But I don't knock the credibility and the possibility that people laugh at it.
Speaker: You know, you're going to go on TV and meet someone.
Speaker: Come on, let's get real.
Speaker: This is your environment.
Speaker: Meet somebody.
Speaker: It's not hard to do.
Speaker: Get on an app.
Speaker: Do something.
Speaker: Get out there.
Speaker: Listen, I'm not on apps right now.
Speaker: But for me, I don't judge anybody who's been on an app.
Speaker: You should create an app.
Speaker: Oh, man, you never know.
Speaker: You never know.
Speaker: We could come up with one together.
Speaker: No, but I mean, I could never knock someone from being on an app because they look at me and say, you went on a show.
Speaker: Who are you to tell me?
Speaker: So, you know, what I would say is there is no blueprint for how you are going to find your happiness to meet your person.
Speaker: So I don't knock the possibility that get back on television and that just might be that you take to get to where you're supposed to be.
Speaker: Bigger Talks.
Speaker: Oh, wow.
Speaker: All because I went on TV.
Speaker: I got this podcast from Podcast One four or five years ago.
Speaker: There was so on I met who I was doing an interview on their show.
Speaker: She got me the deal.
Speaker: I remember that.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You never know.
Speaker: Why things show up in your vibration, why things show up in your life.
Speaker: It's up to you, us, we, everyone listening to go forward, to take the chance so you can event and don't have fear, have faith and just trust.
Speaker: Because if it's in your face and you can see it and touch it, I mean, are you wants to do it or should do it?
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Because how many times my cousin was telling me this, he said, you got to think about too many people get the opportunity to go on TV.
Speaker: So if you're going on TV, it's reason.
Speaker: And it's bigger than what you can understand.
Speaker: Because you know how many people in the world that have been skid, it's like sperm, right?
Speaker: Right, right.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: So I look at things like that.
Speaker: True.
Speaker: The advantage or an advantage.
Speaker: But if you look at it from living in L.A., you meet a lot of women who get the bad trip that they hit them up.
Speaker: And I don't want to be cast.
Speaker: The singer said, are you missing the whole point?
Speaker: You're never going to get where you want to go because you're trying to control it in a way that you don't even know they're going to see you.
Speaker: Grocery store Joe went home first day and he got married.
Speaker: Unbelievable.
Speaker: I forgot Joe.
Speaker: He's another one.
Speaker: Yeah, he's married too.
Speaker: He lasted one day and he blew up.
Speaker: Right, right, right.
Speaker: Changed his whole life.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Changed his whole life.
Speaker: It's like, honestly, reality TV is like real life.
Speaker: You're not in control of any of it.
Speaker: Nah, no.
Speaker: The sooner you realize that, the better off you'll be.
Speaker: Because people drive themselves, and I'm not even exaggerating, people drive themselves crazy trying to live within these certain confines.
Speaker: Everybody else needs to view them a certain way.
Speaker: And if they fall short of certain, these parameters,
Speaker: And there's certain criteria, expectations that other people have for them.
Speaker: They are so worried that I'm going to fall short of the way people view me.
Speaker: And then what is it going to look like?
Speaker: Am I a failure?
Speaker: And they make themselves sick.
Speaker: It's like, you got to be willing to color outside the lines.
Speaker: I mean, yeah.
Speaker: And I think that was the biggest moment in my life that changed my life.
Speaker: The moment I spazzed, you know, I came, I brought everyone in the room and I was just like, keep my name out your mouth.
Speaker: I've never done that ever in life, but that was the biggest moment of my life to change my life because that's how I felt.
Speaker: But I felt so bad after that, right?
Speaker: And actually was the best thing that I ever did for myself, was take up for myself in that moment.
Speaker: And it took me to a whole not with trajectory instead of me just playing small and playing fear.
Speaker: It'll never happen.
Speaker: So I just think to your point and everything you said, like go for it, live your life and shit.
Speaker: Let's be honest.
Speaker: Speak your truth.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Speak your truth.
Speaker: You should have regrets at some point in life.
Speaker: You should have, I don't know, doubt, fear, because that's real.
Speaker: Like if we all had sunlight all day, we wouldn't appreciate it.
Speaker: We need the contrast.
Speaker: If you're a perfect person, nobody wants a perfect spouse.
Speaker: I know I've never heard.
Speaker: You know, you want somebody real.
Speaker: You want somebody raw.
Speaker: Tell me how you really feel.
Speaker: Not what you think I want to hear.
Speaker: Because then I'm not going to get the real you and you're not going to get the real me.
Speaker: As much as you could be.
Speaker: And I think, like I said, opportunity will be knocking on your door soon.
Speaker: So we're manifesting now.
Speaker: And it's a miracle season for Matt.
Speaker: And, you know, I'm just happy to have you on this podcast, man, and speak your truth.
Speaker: It's so good to catch up.
Speaker: And I got to come to Connecticut this summer.
Speaker: Hopefully you'll be in L.A.
Speaker: But can you lead the people with some words of encouragement, some motivation or some positivity that they can kind of sleep on, integrate, embody for their lives?
Speaker: Yeah, I mean, when you break it all down, that's why you're giving us the content you do, right?
Speaker: That's what you're all about.
Speaker: And I would say there are two things.
Speaker: I would say there's nothing more important than routine.
Speaker: We take care of ourselves.
Speaker: I've had people, you look good, like, what do you do?
Speaker: Some people are like, you know, soon, like, oh, you must take stuff.
Speaker: I'm like, it's consistency.
Speaker: I show up every day.
Speaker: I can't get enough of being in the gym.
Speaker: I've been doing it my whole life.
Speaker: And I would say there's nothing more important than being consistent
Speaker: And if you have a goal, set it in front of you and chase it relentlessly.
Speaker: Routine is important, but at the same time, it's as important as routine is, like we were just talking about.
Speaker: Sometimes you have to break out of your routine.
Speaker: Sometimes you need to throw caution to the wind and you need to try something new.
Speaker: And again, I'm telling people this because I need to practice it as much as I preach it.
Speaker: Routine is great.
Speaker: Consistency is terrific.
Speaker: But sometimes you need to actually throw all that aside and say, I'm going to try this.
Speaker: I'm going to try it.
Speaker: Listen, I used to write a lot when I was younger.
Speaker: Found myself writing more lately, just putting pen to pen.
Speaker: And I get reminded that I'm good at putting mores on paper, you know?
Speaker: I've thought about it, you know, just in this past week.
Speaker: I mean, you can't limit yourself and you have to be willing to live outside of the box that people want to put you in because people think, well, this is the way life needs to be lived.
Speaker: And if you're not doing it that way, then it doesn't make much sense.
Speaker: Don't be afraid to just kind of laugh in the face of conventional wisdom sometimes and try something totally different that you have a passion for, but you're not necessarily willing to tell the world about it.
Speaker: that could be the other half of your whole.
Speaker: I mean, that could be what completes you, so to speak.
Speaker: You know what I mean?
Speaker: It could be the part of you that you're missing.
Speaker: You just, it's not tapped into.
Speaker: You haven't messed around with it at all.
Speaker: So you don't even know and you might even be suppressing it, but it could be a big part of who you are.
Speaker: It might be what people are willing to see because I know all the time that
Speaker: You know, that question never gets old that people want to ask you, so what's going on with you?
Speaker: What have you been doing lately?
Speaker: You know, and what better to tell somebody than, you know, actually, I've been traveling.
Speaker: I'm going to move to such and such a place.
Speaker: I'm working on a book.
Speaker: I'm starting to hike more, whatever the case may be.
Speaker: But as you know, so long as you just, you know, you don't tap into some of those unusual things that, you know, might be like, yeah, that sounds cool, but I don't really, what am I going to do that?
Speaker: That doesn't get me anywhere.
Speaker: You never know the confidence that comes along with it.
Speaker: Try something new.
Speaker: You might be an expert at the stuff you suppress, right?
Speaker: Right, right.
Speaker: Shadow side.
Speaker: Being more authentic, being more truthful, telling people how you really feel, what they want to hear.
Speaker: It's just really just being your complete self.
Speaker: I always tell people, do something different so you can be different.
Speaker: If we all do the same thing, how can we expect change that?
Speaker: Nah, it'll never happen.
Speaker: This is something that for everybody, even myself, like, so I tell you, I'm traveling more this year because I'm feeling called to.
Speaker: That's what I'm going to do.
Speaker: And I'm pretty sure me traveling is going to open up more portals within myself to help more people.
Speaker: Let them know you were telling me what are some of the places you got on tap that you're looking forward to going to.
Speaker: Well, Peru and being in Toronto, got to get the answer down at some point.
Speaker: And I still haven't been to London or Paris, but right now I got Peru on a schedule in Toronto.
Speaker: I've been in Toronto before.
Speaker: But really just traveling outside of my...
Speaker: my mind frame of what I know and think, right?
Speaker: Sometimes, you know, after traveling locally, you can travel mentally.
Speaker: Like, let me go into a different type of, like for me, I'm growing spiritually.
Speaker: I'm going to experiment plant medicine, right?
Speaker: All these things that's different to my norm is like you just spoke to.
Speaker: I just think when we as people can tap and color outside the line, I like that.
Speaker: Our coloring book would be more colorful because now that's complete.
Speaker: I'm just thankful for life.
Speaker: I'm thankful for this episode and it just,
Speaker: Everything we were able to share today and just, by the way, how can we connect with you?
Speaker: Where can we follow you?
Speaker: Can you give the listeners, the audience, your handles, Instagram, email?
Speaker: I'm at Matt underscore Munson underscore.
Speaker: I'm going to get back on there.
Speaker: Hopefully it was some of this content right here.
Speaker: Well, yeah, man.
Speaker: So like I said, thanks again to everyone's listening.
Speaker: Share this episode.
Speaker: I know Matt Munson, y'all know I'm from season 13 by Rachel Lindsay season.
Speaker: It's a miracle season.
Speaker: I want to say, give a big shout out to Simplified Impact.
Speaker: It does all my marketing for my YouTube and my podcast.
Speaker: So their link could be in a bio as well.
Speaker: If you want to check them out and don't forget to get you some miracle season merch.
Speaker: You need it.
Speaker: You need that swag.
Speaker: I always tell people, a lot of people want that miracle, but they don't want the season that comes with it.
Speaker: So just embrace all your seasons to get that miracle.
Speaker: And let them know too, because you always talk about manifestation.
Speaker: So if you wear it on your chest, you got it on your hat.
Speaker: If you're wearing it on your head, you're bringing that energy into your life, right?
Speaker: Miracle energy into the fruition.
Speaker: So that's all.
Speaker: That's it.
Speaker: Subscribe, share, like.
Speaker: We're done.
Speaker: Thank you for having me, bro.
Speaker: I appreciate it.
Speaker: I had a great time.
Speaker: We'll do it again sometime.
Speaker: Thank you for tuning in to another episode of Bigger Talks with Eric Bigger.
Speaker: If you enjoyed today's conversation and found it insightful, please consider sharing this episode with a friend, a co-worker, or someone who can benefit from these insightful discussions.
Speaker: Your support helps us reach more listeners as we continue to foster meaningful dialogues about the diverse subcultures of American life.
Speaker: I'm Eric Bigger, reminding you that every conversation has the power to broaden perspectives and foster connection.
Speaker: Until next time, keep embracing the unexpected on Bigger Talks.
