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Men Caring for Men: Somtimes ya just need a friend
21 Plays1 month ago
Glick and Connor were thrown a curve ball as they planned one thing but one of our listeners joined us live and was in a bad place and need someone to talk to...well he got 2 someones to talk to and by the end of the night he was feeling a little bit better
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Transcript
00:03:53
Speaker
Don't this is my thing
Welcome Back & Banter
00:04:31
Speaker
will What's going on everybody? Happy Monday. Hopefully you guys had a good weekend and all that fun. Yes. Welcome.
00:04:47
Speaker
Welcome to men camp for men. I don't know what's going on over there. Sometimes you just put the headphones on and it is it's just it's good to be back, bitch.
00:05:02
Speaker
Oh, it's good to be back. Huh? Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that that mysterious voice that you hear is the return of the one and only. Whoa, Jesus.
00:05:13
Speaker
That's exactly it. That's the return of the Holy sin Jesus. yeah It's not Jesus. Uh I'll get to this stuff in a minute. You guys bear
Nonsense Network & Merchandise
00:05:25
Speaker
with me. Um no, it is the return of connor conner's finally back Ish I think more than five days i have risen Yes ah But any who welcome to Ben Camperman part of the Nonsense will network if you're not already Go ahead and check out the network. We are literally everywhere and where you listen to podcasts What in the world
00:05:54
Speaker
yeah there Uh, everywhere you listen to podcasts on all the social medias and even where you watch them podcast as well, like Facebook, Instagram X and tick tock. We do live shows Monday through Sunday on Twitch, YouTube, and Facebook. You can get in the chatters box. Add your two cents. We a enjoy interacting with you guys all the time.
00:06:18
Speaker
And you can listen to us anytime, anyplace. Simply look up the Nonsense School Network or go to bio dot.link slash Nonsense School Network. It's scrolling right down there at the bottom of your screen and it'll be scrolling there all night long. And don't forget, ladies and gentlemen, we have merch now.
00:06:37
Speaker
And I don't know where Jeff put that link at.
00:06:42
Speaker
There it is. But we have merch. Nonetheless, that much is at the very top of our bio link. If you guys are interested in buying any of that stuff, there's anything you like. We greatly appreciate it. And if you do make a purchase, make sure you send some pictures our way and we'll throw it up on the socials and shot you guys out rocking the yeah the network or the nonsensical nonsense here for the time being. We don't have we don't have stuff for all the shows yet, but we will in the future. So you know if you like one or two shows and you can uh get that gear sp specifically um we will don't know what's going on here oh i do kind of like that all right all right looks good i gotta do something with this light so uh sorry i i am i have all new kind of new like almost all kind of new equipment tonight i went out and i got a new camera um
00:07:40
Speaker
And I got a new ring light and a tripod and everything like that. So I am trying to get this stuff all situated. ah good And we're and like watching Joe Biden trying to put on his fucking shoes in them yeah and and and cooperate wo hello and cooperate with me. And I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm doing it all on the fly. So bear with me.
00:08:05
Speaker
But nonetheless, well, there's a reason for my madness here, OK? I got a new camera because I learned a new trick here on StreamYard. Actually, just today, Connor. There's a meth to your madness? There's a meth to my madness. I can't. I learned a new trick and I was hoping that I was hoping that this would be an easy trick to figure out. But god Jesus Christ, no one wants to. um It's click on click.
00:08:33
Speaker
double the If you're if you're if they're gonna be two glicks in this house tonight, then i'm about to jereph and just dip the fuck out It blocked me No, so um real quick as you guys know, um, um'm i'm i'm gonna be a Busy a busy guy coming up here in the next couple weeks um, so I wanted to have new
Upcoming Events Overview
00:08:59
Speaker
equipment and uh be able to be set up this Saturday. Now that I won't need the equipment this Saturday, but this Saturday I will be with Joshua Lee, Joshua Lee Nelson and the Southern outlaws band at five fours distillery. They're doing a big labor day concert, uh, to benefit disabled vets all the money. so Yeah, that's you all the, uh, all the money raised from tickets.
00:09:27
Speaker
Uh, there'll be raffles and other surprises and other things going on, but, uh, all the money is going to be donated, uh, to the, uh, to the disabled vets of the AV, which is awesome. Uh, and I'll be MC and I'll be MC in the event. So, um, I'm pretty stoked about that. I'm also going to, uh, I'll talk about that a little bit later on because it is Monday night and it is men caring for men. So.
00:09:52
Speaker
Um, and then the following Saturday on the seventh, I'll be at a Buckeye ax throw in here in Newark, Ohio. And we will actually be doing the show live from there, uh, for their one year anniversary bash. They're going to have all kinds of things going on. It is beer lovers day. Uh, so they're going to have all kinds of specials on beers and specialty beers. It is national beard day. So there's going to be a beard competition, uh, plus a whole bunch of other stuff that they'll be doing, but we will be live. Uh, nonsensical nonsense will be live.
00:10:21
Speaker
And I have a yet to be named special surprise up my sleeve for our viewers as well. Not necessarily for the people in attendance at the accident place. This is strictly for our viewers. So I'm curious now. I'll have to watch. You will. Well, you should probably pull up if you can.
00:10:47
Speaker
Well, I was thinking about, I was thinking about being there with you and just sitting in front of the stage with my hat out with a sign around my neck that said disabled that they can donate and the foundation because up until now I just thought that I was just going to get a lump sum. And now you're saying it's going to a foundation. Yeah. not we would i want I I won't I won't be on the show Saturday night this Saturday night I'm gonna be doing too much I'm gonna have too much going on but in between when I do have a chance and an opportunity I will pop in live Nikki's gonna get a lots of pictures lots of lots of videos so we able to flood social media with that When you know the next week
00:11:32
Speaker
um But like I said, MC in the event, i don't I've never MC'd a concert before, so I don't know what all that's going to entitle. But if I get the opportunity to jump on the show live, I will come in and disrupt everything and randomly go talk to strangers that are drunk and try to get them to come on the show like other people used to do. Just do your YouTube research. That's what do I do before every job interview.
00:12:01
Speaker
Yeah, but no no, I'm so I'm definitely Looking forward to Saturday and then the next Saturday Two weeks in a row. I'm gonna be out and about doing things With them, you know representing the but representing the network man so excited about that but Anywho We all know I want more about you we all know that I am a rock star superstar and extraordinary. I'm kidding. I'm actually truly honored and truly blessed to be a part of both of these events. And I'm very grateful. ah Shout out to the Southern Outlaws Band and Miss Sandy, their manager slash babysitter slash Dave Wrangler ah but for even thinking about me and allowing me to be a part of a part of this event. It means the world to me. I'm definitely excited about it.
00:13:00
Speaker
And, uh, looking forward to it, not only that, but I'm also looking forward to getting them into guys, um, and, and, and, and, and, and Sandy as well. I think it's going to be really cool to hang out with them in person. Uh, hopefully Dave and I stay out of trouble because apparently they've already.
00:13:16
Speaker
put out warning labels about Dave and I around Newton Falls, Ohio. Life preservers will be posted at every waterfall in the tri-state area. Yes. ah But it's also going to be really cool to get to hang out with josh Joshua Lee as well because I just met him last week when he came on the show when we were promoting the concert and Really cool dude, so I'm looking forward to seeing him and hanging out with him in person.
00:13:47
Speaker
Yeah. Shout out to Southern Outlaws Band. They were on Talking Shit the other day for a podcast. And I went and I hopped in the comments and I said hello in my typical shithead fashion. And I asked if anybody in on the on the podcast was under the age of 60. And I hope that I didn't offend anybody. Because I don't think that my name is well known by the Southern southern Outlaws Band. Because everybody was like, what the fuck? Fuck you. and working we're under sixty
00:14:19
Speaker
Yeah, I will say I will tell you this and southern outlaws are not easily offended. So I think you're saying, but I hope that um you do awesome, man. I think you're going to do really well and I'm i'm excited to see, uh, see how the aftermath goes. I'm excited to hear about it because I know that I'm sure that you'll have some time to pop in, but it won't be a lot. I think that you're going to think you're going to be a busy bee.
00:14:42
Speaker
I think that's gonna be a good thing. I think it's gonna be cool for you to get nonsensical nonsense, is the the nonsensical networks name out there, as well as your own personal brand. I think it'll be really cool and I think it'll be really good for you. Yeah, no, I think it'll be fun. i just I wish I would have been able to get some ah some ah swag aware and maybe some stuff to take, but ah unfortunately was not able to do so.
00:15:09
Speaker
oh but nonetheless I'll send you my mushroom stamp hat.
00:15:16
Speaker
its Well, I was meaning for the network so but uh I will uh I will try to figure something out so where people can uh maybe I'll go up to the old uh the old Kinko's or Staples or something and put out a QR code and be like I'm just gonna put these on every uh on every table and like you know, hey, scan the QR code at your table and follow us. for No, for real, like, it's as, and so Nikki, Nikki just started working more so like the corporate field and she works at the Children's Museum downtown now. And before that, she was a property manager. And the way that that you get your name out there is by handing out business cards. People will never know you if they never see you.
00:16:02
Speaker
and If you're up on stage and you shout out nonsensical network as much as you can But they can't fucking remember you or they don't have the link in their hands or a QR code in their hands They'll miss it every time ah So yeah, dude fucking it might sound silly but do it I'm thinking about it um but ah and of course, you know, I'll be saying it over and over again because I I'm being let loose with the microphone. I have a microphone, and you will listen to every goddamn thing I have to say. Go check out the champ, the legless wonder, and the little Mexican every Saturday night. And don't forget to subscribe. And our stoner friend, please. And our butthead friend. um But anyways, ah also real quick, um
Men's Mental Health Introduction
00:16:53
Speaker
So we started doing something a little different on Monday nights. It's kind of like Saturday nights. I'm going to go ahead and drop the link. Uh, if you're watching us live, this, this link is, uh, this invitation is soul is, is for men only, you know, we'll make special occasions. Uh, but it has been caring for men. It's a men's mental health podcast. If there's any of our viewers out there that want to come up and take part in the conversation or If they got something on their chest, they want to get off, something's bothering them. Feel free to come on up, hit that link, you know turn the camera on, and and and and and please, nobody wants to see your pecker. Unfortunately, I do have to put those ah do have to put that out there, that little caveat. But you're more than welcome to come up and and and join us on Monday nights. It is our open panel, open forum, whatever you want to call it. And we extend that invitation to to any and all men out there.
00:17:49
Speaker
oh Don't want to see your picture, but we'd love to see your face and hear your heart. Yeah. You know, part of us creating a safe space and trying to do our small part to, uh, erase the stigma that is around men's mental health. Um, also a little staple of this, this your finest fine show is, uh,
00:18:15
Speaker
What's going on, Andy? Before we get into the the the main course, little appetizers here with the weekly bro check, as we call it. And Connor, I'm sure you got a lot to say. Tell me when. Probably not a lot to say. But how's how's your how's your week been, man? how's how's ah How's your week been? So the week's been fairly interesting.
00:18:44
Speaker
See Kennedy brought home the plague. Uh, so the house has been, we've been going through that. She can't, she was home sick Monday and Tuesday, or no, no, no, no, no, no. She was home sick Wednesday and Thursday. And the daycare has a silly policy where she doesn't, and she has to be fever free. God damn, that sun is bright.
00:19:04
Speaker
Uh, she has to be fever free for hours. Did you see that? It was popped up out of nowhere. yeah well That's what I said earlier. Jesus. Are you coming to us live from the Berkeley gates? Because it was just a white background.
00:19:18
Speaker
Uh, she was out Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. And, you know, Friday came around. I'm like, well, usually if it makes it past the two day mark, and I feel good. Like we're good. And.
00:19:34
Speaker
Friday night came around and and I started hacking up along and then Nikki started hacking up along and now the boys are hacking up lungs. I was running a fever all weekend. It was **** great. but We decided to grill out and have our neighbors over anyway. Uh so we had **** like eleven people over your last on uh on Saturday night which was just **** balls. So, you're so you're uh super spinners there in your neighborhood. You're just giving everybody the Dude, Kennedy was patient zero and we are starting a new Evansville virus. You guys are, yeah, you guys are outbreak central, the zombie apocalypse. COVID was called the China virus and this is going to be the Evansville virus.
00:20:20
Speaker
So you got the Evansville virus. We we try around here. We try to look like we have halos. What's going on, John? What's up with you, brother? Yeah, that's... Appreciate you popping up Saturday night. Yeah. Nice. And so, everybody feeling better now? Everybody got rid of the ick? Yeah. So, the boys are at school and they're, they're, they're still coughing a little bit but nobody's, nobody's running a fever. Maybe I can take my tiny ass arms, my weak ass arms and block the sun. There we go. You need some, you need some, you need some blackout curtains.
00:20:56
Speaker
i'm talking about i got him in i got him throughout the whole i got him in I've got him in my bedroom and I've got him downstairs, but fuck i I never thought I'd need him for the fucking sunroom Jesus Christ on mother The Sun room Well, we turned the sunroom into it into an office and up until now I've never had issues with it and I think it's just because it's a different type of time of the year and from when we we were doing our podcast before, so the sun's in a different position. But anyway. with and Another new camera. He never denied it. He never denied it one bit, Mandy. Oh, God. like your help ah i got other that's not a halo that's a toilet That's a toilet ring.
00:21:49
Speaker
Yeah, I got all this new equipment. I don't know what to put in it. at and need I need a bigger space. but But yeah, so everyone's, everyone's for the most part ick-free. I've still got a bit of an easily thing going on now, but been a whole lot of job applications last week.
00:22:07
Speaker
nicki's yeah way woman get into that when we yeah when we come back from break because we're going to catch up with connor tonight we go to catch up with donnna and know he's like god glick how many times i i to tell you this story about my fucking surgery well you know what connor not all of our viewers and our listeners they don't tune into every single show okay some people on two know yeah it neith do why because fuck you this is yeah well i agree i don't I don't even watch my shows. I watch everybody else's. I don't watch mine look i did He's the worst. What a douche.
00:22:42
Speaker
No, uh, uh, shit. I was going to say something. but I totally forgot. I don't know. It's just, you like men, penises are fun to have in your mouth. What do you, what are you, worry what are you playing on? Yes. and yeah Maybe I should be, maybe I should be a little more careful what I say, considering background checks are going to ensue.
00:23:06
Speaker
Well, it can't be any worse than Saturday night with a certain someone. Yeah. We won't mention it. We're not, no, we're absolutely allowed to complain ghost floof. And if the pretty girls don't want to be with us, because we're dealing with our mental health, we don't want to be with them anyways. Yeah. We'll take the ugly girls. Glad you do a better counter. What's going on, binge? Thanks, Ben J. Um,
00:23:35
Speaker
No, yeah. Um, yeah. The joys of getting back to real life. Now that's what a couple of weeks ago, Nikki was patient zero and gave me COVID. And I was like, kids, one of your moms, because we're, and I both had COVID and it was like, the kids had just got back and they were, no, they came back and then they left like the very next day and went and spent the night with their grandma and whatnot.
00:24:03
Speaker
it's how and then we both And then we both tested positive for COVID. And I called, I called their mom and I was like, Hey, I hate to ask you this. I know you just had them last week. I said, but Nikki and I both just tested positive for COVID. Is there any way you could meet your mom and get the kids? And she's like, uh, yeah.
00:24:25
Speaker
like an old So. Yeah, she was, Vicki was patient zero. but So I, I, I feel you guys on that being six years, you know, when COVID was at its height, I didn't get COVID. And then four years later, I get it. Yeah. I mean, and I um messaged by, uh, my parents in, in our little group chat that we have, which is just wonderful sometimes, but I messaged my parents in our little, in our little group chat and I was like, Hey,
00:24:59
Speaker
at what age did Braden and I get, and my brother and I, what what age did you guys stop getting sick from from the plagues that we brought home? Because I remember being sick like two, three times a year every every year when I was going to school. And they were like, well, dad and I got sick, but as long as as long as we weren't throwing up, we went to work and one of us went and stayed home with you guys. And we were like, ew. Fuck.
00:25:25
Speaker
ah
00:25:29
Speaker
but but Chris, um ah the vaccination don't mean anything. I'm vaccinated as well. I had to do it, not that I wanted to do it, but I had to do it before. So the vaccination doesn't do anything at the end of the day. I think Nikki's had COVID like four times. I've been vaccinated twice.
00:25:48
Speaker
ah I'll tell you what, I mean, I had like the cold so symptoms for a day or two, but it was like for a week after I was Tested negative or whatever. I might do my body was just ransacked Hey, what are you gonna do? Yeah, dude, I like I told Nikki I was like, you know, I played sports I've done You know, I've been in fights um and Everything else and I've never hurt this bad in my life my body
00:26:27
Speaker
I was just so sore. And that was like a week after as well. Honestly, if it might have been covered. Neither of us tested. We were just kind of like, fuck it. if If it's COVID, it's COVID. It's going to spread whether we want welcome to. Yes. I mean, I don't know. It is what it is. I know, you know, uh,
00:26:47
Speaker
We're not going to go on a vaccine tangent, but, uh, yeah, man, uh, you know, uh, I'll, I'll say, you know, this has been, uh, this has been a whirlwind of, uh, last week and the next two weeks for me. Uh, you're still older than me, man. The Corona's got stuck.
00:27:08
Speaker
but Damn it. Nikki, give the Wookie a shower. she She took me to the car wash and power was.
00:27:19
Speaker
The real that's the real appetizer for Glick is the ticks that Nicki washes out of his beer. Yeah, I know I usually pick those out on my own. I let him get big enough. and and
00:27:38
Speaker
No, but uh, yeah, dude, it's uh, dude, i I've been feeling so good lately. Uh, this week was a word this last week is a whirlwind. The next two weeks are going to be a whirlwind on top of everything else I got going on with the shows and the kids and work and, uh, and doing the different gigs and how it's fantasy football season. So I cut myself down to two leagues this year and from my normal four to six.
00:28:04
Speaker
I'm only doing two. I have one league that's where it's we're going into our fourth year as a league and I'm the commissioner of that league. And then we'll see if we get enough players for the podcast league. By the way, we do have a podcast league. Anybody who's interested, let me know, hit us up on social media. I want to try to get at least 10 teams and I'll know i'll get the invitation sent out.
00:28:25
Speaker
I'm not interested, but if you're shy by like a team or two, I'll i'll do it. yeah I'll be, well I'll be the Browns of the league. All right. I'm i'm okay with it. Well, well, that's already Jeff. Well, I wasn't going to do, i wasn't gonna do a network I wasn't going to do a network. network, uh, uh, fantasy football league this year, because I mean, football is literally two weeks away. So we got to get a draft in and everything else. And, and before the first game of the season.
00:28:55
Speaker
so uh yeah it's it's it's hectic it's crazy but uh but i'm i'm having fun with it so i can't uh i think i can't complain too much um you know i'm doing pretty good i'm excited to i i'm excited to have uh i'm excited to have new toys so to say because you go get mama let's go change your butt yeah change your butt i shit
00:29:27
Speaker
But yeah, no, I can't I can't complain man. Life's go pretty good. I'm enjoying stuff and having fun and hopefully yeah You know these these couple events will lead to more events to where I you know I can or we can as a as a whole Get out and do things um And ah in the Outside of our houses take the shows outside of the houses and Yeah, it's, I'm ready for to start cooling down. I was all excited there for about a week and a half, two weeks. I was like, man, it was down in the seventies. It was, it was in the low sixties at night. And we had, we like, we turned off the AC and everything at night. It was awesome. I woke up in the morning. My room was actually cold. And I was like, my wife said, yeah.
00:30:19
Speaker
No, we, we had windows open during the day and at night it was great because both Nikki and I like to freeze to death at night when we go to bed. and we we we We look ridiculous. It's just like, you know, we can just shut the window. We've got like 14 blankets on our bed, but I like it cold when I sleep, you know, I got a comforter and I'll wrap up in it. So I'm warm, but I like, I like the cold that's out that surrounds me. So yeah, and um'm yeah no, it was last.
00:30:50
Speaker
who got shot. I don't know if I should be concerned about that noise or not. But, uh, but, uh, then, then fucking get up this morning. And this morning when I left the house, it was already almost 70. And then by the time I got home, it was like 95. I agreed. John, we sleep with our bedroom window, which could probably be the reason.
00:31:13
Speaker
My wife and I argue so much about the thermostat and I think she's just kind of giving up on it because she used to like, especially like in the summertime, she would turn the, the AC up. She'd turn it up to like 72 or 73 and I'm just they're sweating my fucking balls off. Who the fuck touched my thermostat?
00:31:30
Speaker
i thought now at a lot of walks on mine yeah now it's got a walkbox on It's got one of those smart, smart lock things on it. It's sort of the smart fucking thermostats.
00:31:42
Speaker
and I just keep it at 68, 69 all year all year round and uh that's I still feel warm but as soon as winter hit, I'm just gonna turn everything off. Fuck a furnace. If you're cold, snuggle. Yeah. No, I threatened to put a lockbox on mine after my third month in a row. I'm almost having a $200 electric bill.
00:32:07
Speaker
But uh let's go ahead and uh take our first break of the evening. Um, we're going to come back. John's popped up. We're going to come back and, uh, you know, I want to get, I want to get everybody caught up on Connor. Uh, you know, Connor had his back surgery. Obviously you see, he's up walking around and moving around. He's in better spirits. Uh, we can hear that in his voice. So we, uh, we want to get kind of caught up and, uh, see where he's at, how he's doing, how everything went. And, uh, we were trying to keep everybody in the loop as best as we could. Yeah. PB break.
00:32:41
Speaker
Gonna go find the wine. Yeah. Um, so this is for Connor's benefit tonight because we're talking around, we've we've decided that, uh, Jules and the how are the how, um, her song. I just want to feel better. It's going to be the new intro song to the show. Um, it's a great song. Jules is awesome. You guys got to go check her out. Jules in the house everywhere. Go show her some love, but I wanted, uh, I wanted to let him listen to a couple of different songs tonight. Um,
00:33:10
Speaker
for outro songs. And the first one I got here is, oh, let's do a little James Luker with Counting My Days. And we'll be back here in just a couple of minutes.
00:36:27
Speaker
I say no, don't reach and save my life
00:37:18
Speaker
James Luecker with counting my days. Go show him some love. He's out there doing his thing independently. Killing it, too. Welcome back to Men Camp for Men. Go ahead and check out on all them socials. We got the bottom link right down there at the bottom, bio dot link slash nonsensical network. It's also got not only on links.
00:37:41
Speaker
to our socials, but also the links to our merch store as well. Connor's back in the building. You guys know me. I am Glick. And like I said, we got a new thing we're doing here on Mondays. We're doing an open panel, open forum. We're dropping a link and it's ah an invite for men if they want to come up and take part in the conversation, get something off their chest or whatever. If something's bothering them, let us know, you know, we could talk about it.
00:38:12
Speaker
We, uh, we are a men's mental health podcast. So, you know, we got our little safe space here so we can talk about our feelings. All right. Nobody's going to judge you. Just remember, um, we don't want to see your winners, but we do want to see your face and hear your heart. Yeah. What
Connor's Return and Health Journey
00:38:28
Speaker
he said. He's so sweet. Uh, we got, uh, we do have a guest in here. He actually popped up Saturday night. Got John with your brother.
00:38:39
Speaker
so It's been better for me. ah it is What it is this? I heard that. Uh, Chris, I don't know what Nightbot is. What up, Jeeves? What up, Fortnite? That's a pretty good bot, but if you want it on your channel or not. I think I can actually post the link. I just would have to copy and paste it to be a hundred percent honest with you. Um, listen to what anyone cares today. Oh, a citizen soldiers, uh, me have donut is.
00:39:10
Speaker
or Citizen Soldier is one of my top 20 bands that I really like and that is a really good show or a song Yeah,
00:39:27
Speaker
yeah Citizen Soldier is a fantastic band for anybody who's never heard of them or check or listen to them check them out yo You won't be upset Um, well, welcome back. Like I said, you know, one of the, one of the big things I wanted to kind of touch base on tonight was, um, Oh, it's ghost flu. and Nice.
00:39:51
Speaker
I don't know what that is. Oh, will it Chris? Uh, yeah, I don't know anything about ah night, uh, night, but I'll have to look into it and check it out. Um, but, um, you know, Connor's back in the building. He's been gone for.
00:40:04
Speaker
will last 27 years. The prodigal son has returned a little over a month now. I'm glad you feel better. commercial by the way Say that again, John. I'm glad you're doing better. Thank you very much. Thank you. Sounds like you had a rough time there and shit. So like, that's good. talking great i I definitely did a lot better. This go around than I did my original, uh, when I had my first surgery, American surgeon story, but I started interrupted home.
00:40:31
Speaker
Oh, no, no, no, you're good. You're good. I want, I want the glitch to finish what he's saying before I, before I. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give it a big, big lowdown or or story or anything crazy like that. So. No, but, uh, you know, I just, you know, I wanted Connor from his own words, not us, you know, trying to keep everybody in the loop. Um,
00:40:54
Speaker
um, But from his, own you know, from his own words, how the surgery went, how the recovery has been going. Obviously, like I said, right before we went to break, you can see it in his face. You can hear it in his voice. He's got a little extra pep in his step from before he went into surgery. You know, obviously we're all happy that he's doing better and he's moving around, but I want to give him an opportunity to kind of let people know how everything went, what's been going on tonight. That's why we didn't really come up here with a topic. We're just chatting. We're just going to, you know, talk about things, whatever pops up.
00:41:26
Speaker
And then a few guys in the comments or anything else that you, if you want to add anything or ask them any questions, uh, the floor is Connors. Well, I'm going to shut the hell up. I assume that everybody and in the, uh, in the chatters box has some sort of a understanding of of what was going on prior, but I mean, uh, briefly, uh, I had degenerative disc disease going on in my lower lumbar spine.
00:41:57
Speaker
and upper sacral, so it runs all the way from my S5 up through my L3. but I was starting to hit him with a little bit of my thoracic spine as well. But back April, 2023, I had a surgery that was supposed to help correct a couple of my herniated discs that I had in my lumbar spine. And i had ah I just had a really terrible surgeon who who left me in the hospital after things kind of went sideways. And he let me sit there for about a day and a half, and I ended up with some residual nerve problems.
00:42:28
Speaker
He ended up making my issue with those couple discs ended up making it worse. And so the last year and a half has just been it's it's been a lot of pain. It's been a lot of it's really hard to figure out how to adjust to going from nine years of a pretty successful military career to you can't work.
00:42:49
Speaker
can't run, can't work out, can't do a whole bunch of stuff. ah So it's it's been a lot of neurosurgeon visits and VA visits and doctor's visits and talking with people who do understand and some who don't and who are just trying to push pills on you. And as Glick said, you know I got a little bit more pep in my step ah because over this last month, since I had my surgery, which has been a month and two days now,
00:43:18
Speaker
Since I had my surgery, I have not had a narcotic in almost three weeks. and i have taken Thank you. I haven't taken any pain medication. Yeah. Thank you very much. it's it's When you're in it and you're, when you're in that much pain and and you're taking the pills, you need not yeah like i I needed it. And I'm not, I'm not upset with myself for having, I know a lot of military, that's like, I've gone through similar things as you. Yeah. it's like it's like I can relate with Richard's hand.
00:43:53
Speaker
i'm I'm not I'm not upset with myself for having taken the medications that I did I think they were Absolutely necessary at the time and I could tell when I didn't take them or when I would I had missed my my time Take to make to make too much or to take too much. You know, it's a thin line fine line that's what i'm trying to say fine line No, absolutely and but it's America's problem It is but it's it's I'm glad that our country has the money to have the amount of drugs.
00:44:25
Speaker
I'm glad that I had it though. If it weren't for the pain medications that I had, uh, it would have been absolutely terrible. And it was terrible. It's, it sucked. And the days when I didn't have it, or if I ran out of my medication and I couldn't get a refill on it, it was fucking miserable. And I wouldn't even come on a show. Uh, or if I did, I'd only be up here for 10, 20. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A few minutes. Yeah. I totally understand that. I mean, I'm and through like can through that Jeff. I've been through all the withdrawals.
00:44:55
Speaker
But i got my problem cdd so I can't imagine the kind of claim that you had been through, but I can somewhat relate props for not, I appreciate that. It was, it it was definitely easy sometimes to like take one extra and just be like, you know, not only am I in pain today and a little bit extra pain, but I'm also a little bit of, uh,
00:45:18
Speaker
Depresso espresso so I so I would grab an extra one and and just try and numb it all and you can definitely see it if you go back and listen to to me on some of the kind Can I ask you some a somewhat personal question? Yeah, did you ever lean into any harder drugs because of it? No, um I was i've known a lot of a lot of that that have and that's i'm asking just no yeah i Understand why and didn't and that's fucking awesome I Understand why it happens. Yeah, it's for me. It was more so I tried not to my wife was really good at Helping me oh you got yeah that that helps a lot having wi you got kids i could see that i mean i get the wife so that yeah helps a lot in my to the and I pretty much just I leaned on my medications I leaned on my doctors and if it didn't feel like it was enough. I'd either take an extra one or i'd I Drink a little more alcohol
00:46:10
Speaker
And then I got out of the military and and pot actually really helps with a lot of my nerve veins. So Yeah, it actually helps a lot. I have a I have a lot of residual teeth and Indica in the couch in the couch in the couch. Okay Because I'm still a novice I don't that's what I call it is Indica is in the couch. That's what I call it. Yeah but this fucking one is sorry But yeah, no no, it's nice to be off of everything because I can tell. And like I said, if you go back and you listen to me on some of the Saturday nights.
Mental Health and Coping Mechanisms
00:46:48
Speaker
You can tell when I'm having a bad night. I just don't sound slow. I sound sluggish. I Have zero filter whatsoever, which I don't have Anyway, that's one of the reasons i I joined tonight is because like I have severe anxiety I severe well yeah have i have bipolar I have a borderline personality disorder of severe anxiety and I have a drinking problem It's like it's it's just compilation of problems that just add up and like I'm ruining my fucking life and you don't know how to deal with it. It's tough and there's there's there's places to go to get help from and there's there's a support system out there for you whether it's your family. My best friend and I told me basically you need to get your shit together you're gonna die.
00:47:36
Speaker
That was my best friend. I mean, she tells me straight how it is all the time. And like, it was hard to hear from her. It's true. And that's what you need sometimes. My wife's created that too. I got back from Afghanistan. I drank extremely heavily for about a month. I'm only drinking like a 15 pack a day, but that's still a lot apparently.
00:47:55
Speaker
But I drank super heavy for about a month. And then I got home from work one day. And she grabbed the bottle of liquor. And in front of my face, she poured it all down. Then she found the drain. And she grabbed the next one, poured it down the drain. And I was like, all right, cool. And so that was the end of that. Sometimes you just need that. You need that kick in the balls sometimes. Well, no, I really, I absolutely need that kick in the balls. Like, my life has always been revolved around other ones. Not so much women, but I can't.
00:48:23
Speaker
I got, I got married when I was 18, 19, 19. I mean, I was 18 when I got married too. Yeah. I was 19 when I got married and she, she was, well, she had just turned 18. So she turned 18. We got married and you know, and we were together for 16 years, addition i but now I'm 44 and like, she's remarried and got somebody else. And here I am just flounder or floundering around in life. You know, I'm like, what the fuck?
00:48:54
Speaker
i phil I don't know. I don't i don't know know how much I should say on on stream. It's like I'm really depressed lately. And by my semen, I'm a really good faker. I think we all, we all get good. All men are great fakers.
00:49:12
Speaker
he's said we there's's last week we We're really good at putting on. I'm the best, right, baby? Oh, yeah. Yeah. yeah we our yeah just made ahead advantage that was like the classic fucking guideline yeah he Yeah yeah as you never say know there's Yeah, as men we we get very good at wearing a mask like your eyes sorry You know, yeah Don't fucking hurt yourself and you're gonna end up with Bluetooth legs
00:49:53
Speaker
It's as long as they're bigger around than the my little chicken legs that I have now. You can't have chicken legs, dude. You're a really good side guy. You can't get out of chicken legs. That's the whole point. He's all beer good. I'm all torso. I'm all torso. You're all upper body. You missed leg day.
00:50:13
Speaker
you get yeah Sorry. There's this game that you watched me play the other night. It's like there's these big fucking radovers in it. They got little skinny legs, but they're huge in the upper torso. And everybody always makes fun of them. They miss like that. That's what I thought when you said, oh, that's quick. I'm not like a silverback. I'm like a silverback gorilla. Yeah, no, I'm built like a like a silverback gorilla. No, I mean, shoot, you know, Like Connor was saying, you know, and like he said John, you know, man, you know, unfortunately for me, I didn't have anybody in my life to give me that kick in the ass when I was really spiraling out of control of my drinking. I just woke up one morning and do like flip the switch. I'm like, God damn, you know, what the hell am I doing? Type of type of thing. Um, but
00:51:15
Speaker
i dude I wore a mask for so many years and faked a smile for so many damn years and it was just easier that way. Plus, who the hell was I going to talk to at the end of the day? Who the hell was going to listen to so my sad, woe is me, poor me pitiful story at the end of the day? ah i just And I've said it before on here, I just had to have one of those come to Jesus moments with myself and look myself in the mirror and have a conversation and go, well, I can sit here and while are in my own self pity, or I can wake up every day. And we talked about this on the show. I can make the choice to be better. I want to be better and start. And it's not easy. It's easier said than done, you know, replace the negative with the positive, you know, like, Hey, first, first and foremost, I woke up this morning.
00:52:13
Speaker
That's where I'm at. You know, I mean, literally for the last two weeks, like most mornings I wake up, I, I, my, my doctors, they put me out cause I have, I have a fib. I don't know if you know what that is, but it's a, it's a heart condition where your heart doesn't beat properly. So if it doesn't beat properly, there's like, there's this extra like blood like floating around in your, in your, in your heart.
00:52:39
Speaker
So it doesn't pump out correctly so I can cause clots. So you have to think of blood thinner. One of my fixes. It was, you know, I was never on heroin or coke. Why I've done coke, but I've never done heroin or math or any of those. I've never been highly addicted to any, any hard substance like that. But cutting was kind of my thing. The pain release. It's, it's something that focuses, I can focus on other reality for a little while.
00:53:09
Speaker
yeah and it kind of gets me out but like i'm blood centers you just die if you cut and i don't i don't i don't want to bring down like the show or anything but like that's just my reality yeah well i mean and i While I was in Korea, and Glick has ah has a has seen the aftermath of it. He you know didn't necessarily ah go through it with me. But while while I was in Korea, it was in a really bad headspace, really bad deal with a lot of problems with my post-traumatic stress. And I wasn't doing anything to relieve it. And one of the would do is just go out and get fucking hammered. And then I would do things to fucking hurt myself.
00:53:46
Speaker
Because the pain was a good distraction. Yeah, the pain. The pain is a fucking epic distraction. so Unfortunately, it's cigarettes out on yeah fucking and fucking sit there and take my knife and I just dig it. I wouldn't cut myself because I didn't want to bleed out. I don't want to hit a fucking artery artery. I didn't want to die. I was just tired of being. oh Yeah, I just knew where the arteries were. And it's it's I use the cleaner. I understand it. I'm not trying to glorify it anyway, but you know it's not a fucking it's a terrible fucking thing, but it's It's not something that that should be glorified or or done or executed anywhere. No, not at all. I'm not doing that. But um it's fine. You got to find the right out outlet and a healthy outlet. And I think that that's going to take with with you is going to take lot of work a lot of work with you. lot I really got to get into it. Work with your doctors. I am trying to do the medical hairs. I don't know. I don't know what state you're in.
00:54:41
Speaker
And I'm not sure where Glick is either. You guys are somewhere in the Midwest, I believe, but I'm not sure. um Anyways. I'm in Ohio. Yeah, yeah, Midwest. I mean, well Ohio's Northeast Midwest. You know, it's kind of- Yeah, we're the Midwest still. Yeah, we're still in the Midwest. I'm in New York. So, I mean, like, it's it's not that the healthcare care system isn't bad, but it's not great either. Like, I go to my my my psychiatrist and I tell her I want to kill myself regularly. And she's like, oh, but you haven't had any yet any attempts, right?
00:55:10
Speaker
No. OK. Well, then you're ready to do it right now. You'll get over it. You're a different doctor. You get a different doctor. It's kind of bullshit. Like, help me. Do something. Please. So I have a serious question for you. I don't want to fucking die, you know? I'm not trying to be a jackass when I ask you this. Are you going to the VA doctors? Are you a prior military? No, I'm not military, no. OK. OK. I'm going to Medicare doctors. OK.
00:55:39
Speaker
I understand that fucking going to Medicare. I don't have like, yeah, you yeah I don't have a new one.
00:55:51
Speaker
But yeah, come you gotta find a new one. i i say I feel like a jackass saying it because it's, it's hard and I understand that, especially coming from it's hard to find a doctor in my town because like, I'm actually going to the best place I can go to everywhere else. It's bullshit everywhere. I've been told to like, because like,
00:56:08
Speaker
I'm overweight. I'm out of shape. And like walking two miles a day is is is out of my, I just can't do it. I couldn't walk two fucking miles a day if I wanted to, you know, maybe a half a mile. me worker well so like that would mean yeah i was gonna stay Start small. you do um but i told You got to start walking a couple of miles a day and like by a therapist, you know, out out of the doctors that I go to right now.
00:56:32
Speaker
And they're like they're like, that's just out of the question. You should be able to do that no problem. And they like bitched hit me. They made me feel belittled. You know, so it's like so that's that's why I go to the doctors. I go to now, which are the ones that are saying that, you know, you will, you'll get over it. It's like, this is the best I could do because of my fucking, my health a insurance. So I need to tell you, and you say something that my most recent neurosurgeon told me because I was, I got pretty emotional. I was upset because my previous, uh, orthopedic surgeon who had worked on my spine fucked me up. I didn't have any choice. in the military He said, I work for you.
00:57:08
Speaker
You don't work for me. If I tell you to do something, you don't have to do it. You're telling me you want to get better. It's my job to help you get there. However, I need to do it. And if if my if my care isn't up to your standard, isn't up to your part of care, then you need to tell me so that I can get somewhere. And you can be a dick about it. Don't worry about the doctor's feelings. You're going there to get healthy and to get better and to get help.
00:57:33
Speaker
You're going to the doctor. I gotta be a little more firmer about that shit. You're going to the doctor and they're not helping you or they're giving you answers. My therapist is amazing. My therapist is there for me. Yeah, yeah. My therapist is amazing. She's there for me, but my psychiatrist and she's my psychiatrist is the one that prescribes the meds. But the problem is like in the middle of all this shit we had. OK, how unacceptable is this, right? My doctor's office hasn't had a phone that worked for a month.
00:58:07
Speaker
that's um went down because of that big hack there was about a month ago yeah that medical the medical insurance hack or whatever where they they they they bombarded all kinds of medical facilities yep and they went down about a month ago and they just started getting it back up now this week it was a month ago like i i'm gonna call my doctors and make an appointment for a month i mean i just i don't know it's it just sucks when you're poor
00:58:36
Speaker
for I've been I've been fortunate enough. ah Fortunately, I have been fortunate enough to be in the military. So I've always had health care. It's not always been up to standard obviously.
00:58:47
Speaker
um No, my buddy, my, like I said, I've had a couple of friends that, you know, have had. please you You need to, you need to kick your doctor in the teeth. Not literally, not literally. You're not a social doctor. You'll have a whole legacy on the podcast again, and then you'll have a whole nother issue on your hands. yeah And then you'll sue me because I told you to do it. All that stuff. You need, you need to assert the fact that you need help.
00:59:19
Speaker
and and they yeah and until they understand that and I I understand from their point of view that they see so many people and I'm not discounting anybody's feelings or the way that things are going for them but sometimes people go in there just to feel a little bit better just to be heard for a second not necessarily to actually get help and you need to go in there and you need to say no I'm fucking serious. I'm I'm tired. I'm I'm I do these things are called, they're called diary cards. Basically it's like, you know, like if people write a diary. They're like Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Well, this is, I just write a quick, a brief description of what I do every day. And I talk it over my therapist every week. It's actually very therapeutic, but, uh, she, she, she put in, she's like, wow, you have been really done. I'm like, yeah, well I'm really gonna fucking kill myself. So what do you want? You know? Yeah. No, they like, like, you know, kind of piggyback on what kind of stuff.
01:00:19
Speaker
pin that to my, my therapist, my, my psychiatrist. So you get the point across, you know, not only that, but with like the exercise thing, you start out small, man. yeah i gotta get that in You know, like, like, uh, like donut said or flu, um, you know, they started in a hundred meters a day. I don't know how, I don't know what that is, uh, in miles. Uh, and now they're up to five miles. You start out small, go a half mile.
01:00:48
Speaker
you know, uh, a quarter mile that down the sidewalk and a quarter mile back. And before you know it a few months down the road, I've got a neighbor of mine. I was chit chatting with him and he's got some medical issues and he had to lose weight. Well, unfortunately for him, he doesn't really have the time to go to the gym and you know, he's got kids and stuff like that. He just started walking around the the complex. And when he first started, he would just walk like to the, like,
01:01:17
Speaker
from the end of their building to an end of a second building and walk back. Now he's every day, he's out there walking the entire complex, doing multiple laps, but he's dropped, I think he said he dropped like 23 pounds um since March or April, I think. And you can see it on him. Like, I remember when I first started seeing him out there compared to now. And, you know, he started out small and gradually worked himself up. You know, you, you,
01:01:46
Speaker
you know, like a month goes by and that half my best friend she she lost like 70 pounds the last three years, but you know, it's been a little bit. It's been like three pounds at a time here and there and little by little by little, you know, it's like, it's like, it's like going to the gym and working out, you know, like obviously you're not going to go to the gym the first day and bench press 800 pounds. yeah You know, yeah you're going to work yourself. I mean, I'll be 100% honest with you guys.
01:02:14
Speaker
I ain't never done anything over 90 pounds when I'm at the gym. Yeah.
01:02:22
Speaker
yeah i You know what I might be, but I mean, a hundred pounds to bench. I'm, I'm just giving him shit because that's i know i know i know I don't, I don't, but no I don't do, I don't do free weights, but that's because, you know, I've got a busted up shoulder and, and, and busted up knees. So I use the machines because it's a little bit more fluid and it's not so you're off. You know, what when I'm in the gym and I'm wearing out, I look better than 90% of those muscle bound meat heads in there that are on all their stupid ass steroids and they're
01:02:56
Speaker
their pre-drinks and their afterdrinks and their. and' Thank you, Chris. I appreciate it. Uh, uh, you know, but, uh, you know, you start out small and you work yourself up but and and and you gradually, like, I remember when I first started going to the, and and again, im I'm not in the gym right now, but, you know, several years back, I had gotten up to about 320 pounds and, and I was just a fat, disgusting mess.
01:03:26
Speaker
And when I started going to the gym, one of the first goals that I set for myself was I want to get a mile under 10 minutes. I know it doesn't, you know, some people are like 10 minutes for a mile. Really? Like, fuck are you doing? And no but I wasn't going in there and doing a five minute mile. Yeah. So, you know, and and and it was, I celebrated it. I got within a couple of months, I was able to get my mile under 10 minutes. And that was, and that was a perfect goal for me. I don't do a whole lot of cardio anyways, but that was like,
01:03:56
Speaker
a few months, you know, took a few months, but i I achieved it and I was excited for it. And, you know, like I said, you start out small with the weights. You might go to the machine and only put 20 pounds on it. But four or five months down the road, you're at 100 pounds, you know, whatever the case may be. Don't go in there and push yourself right off the bat so hard because, hey, you're not you're not helping yourself. You're not going to fill yourself. Yeah. You know, you're going to get A, there's potential of hurting yourself. B. Oh, yeah. for you You're going to you're going to fail yourself, which is at the end of the day, it's going to make you feel worse about yourself because you're not out there day one doing two miles because some jerk off therapist has a piece of paper on a wall that says that they're smarter than you says you have to do two miles a day. Yeah, that therapist. It was the only time I ever went to that place. He's like, oh, you should be able to walk two miles a day. I'm like, fuck you. And I just never came back. I went to a new place. Fuck that.
01:04:56
Speaker
Yeah. At the end of the day, it all it always comes back to you. You make the final decision that, okay, I'm going to start today and I'm going to do what I can. And then maybe next week I'll be able to do a little bit more, but you have to get up and have that conversation with yourself. What, what, what is the driving factor is? I mean, do you you guys do it for yourself?
01:05:20
Speaker
or do you do it for your kids or your wife? Yes to both. Yes. so yes Yeah. Yeah. I was gonna say yes. Um, it's like, I used to do everything for my wife. I was married, you know, I was married for, I was with my wife for 16 years altogether. And then I got divorced and then I was with somebody for five years and like that, that went south and I got screwed over by a couple of women really bad. And it's like, I had lost all relevance for life. Really.
Relationships & Self-Improvement
01:05:45
Speaker
It's like every, all my drive just disappeared with, with the women that I lost.
01:05:50
Speaker
It's like, I don't know. It's, I don't know if that's, it makes sense at all. It might sound stupid. I've been there. I, you know, I, I've, I've, I've been there, you know, uh, I know I'm just like trying to find myself in this like life alone and like, it fucking sucks, honestly, but you know, no, I, I've been there before. Um, yeah, I was, I was with my ex-wife for 17 years. You know, we had three kids together. Granted I was, you know, and, and, you know, there's, there's, there's.
01:06:18
Speaker
two sides to every situation. And I'm not saying that it's all her fault, but you know, one of the things that, you know, after we split that, I realized is that mentally, I was already a mental mess and in our, in our, not our entire relationship, but the last several years of our relationship, she had mentally broken me. Um, I was super depressed. My anxiety was through the roof. Uh, it took everything I had to get up out of bed in the morning just to go to work. And I became very routine. I'm a very routine person.
01:06:49
Speaker
get up, go to work, come home, eat, go to bed, drink, whatever. You know, and when we split, I was able to start working on myself. And then I got into another relationship that failed and I kind of fell back on old ways. But like I said, ultimately at the end of the day, like I was saying earlier, what it was, was me having that conversation with myself saying, nobody else is going to fix this. Nobody, there's no, there's no amount of For me personally, there's no amount of therapy. There's no amount of prescription drugs that's going to fix my problems. I have to fix my problems on my own. I have to come to terms with my issues and I have to face them head on and make the conscious decision every single day to push forward. And I do that a number one for myself. That was something that I learned through this process was that it's all right to put yourself first. Um,
01:07:44
Speaker
And it's not selfish. So a I do it for myself Be is my You know my fan. Well, you know Nick, you know my fiance and my kids my kids and Nikki They are the secondary because if I'm better mentally I'm gonna have better relationships with my kids Nikki and I are gonna have a better relationship I'm gonna be a better dad. I'm gonna be a better partner so Yes, and the answer to that question is both I I do it for myself first and foremost And then I you know, and then that that secondary is is my is my immediate family and and the people that I care about you know, because I want to be the best version of me for them and I think that's ultimately the other thing is that you have to realize that it's okay to put yourself first and it's okay to
01:08:34
Speaker
to put myself first is like a huge hurdle. I've always just not done everything for somebody else. And Glick Glick does a he has an experience in life that I don't I've never been through divorce. I've been lucky enough to I mean, I'm only 27 years old. I'm still really young. My wife and I got married. I was 18. I have yeah I I'm I'm I'm I'm just about the same time I did. It's just you're younger. I had my first. I'm in here. I'm in here. And you know, something that I've I've realized is I can do everything I can in my power to try and you know, live and do things for them. But even up until this point, it hasn't made me truly happy to live for somebody else.
01:09:28
Speaker
i I have to figure out what my goals are and what I want out of my life for my reasons. And my wife has to has to do the same. Glick has to do the same. You have to do the same. If you don't have any any any bigger thing that you want to do for for your life, then you're going to end up in the same spot. You're going to end up in this hole. Oh, that's where I'm already at, bro. Every single time.
01:09:54
Speaker
this is why already I don't know. I'm just in a rut as a motherfucker. Yeah. That's one of the reasons I wanted to chat with, you know, guys for guys, you know, and that's like, you know, where else am I supposed to talk about this ****? Exactly. I can hold it all inside or I can. How do you guys? You know, there might be like four viewers just holding. I don't give a **** how many viewers there are. That could be I'm still going to talk my, my heart out. You know, it's just like, it's how I'm feeling. It's like, you know, this is where I'm supposed to be able to share my fucking feelings. So it's not even like we're being sappy as fuck or anything. It's just life. Yeah. Life's just depressing. It's fucking hard. It is.
01:10:37
Speaker
And if you don't have a reason to live, if you don't have a purpose, if you don't have something that you by right now i constantly want to actually like, take my bottle of blood thinners and slit my fucking arms up, cutting used to be my release. Well, I'm going to tell you, I'm going to tell you right now. I would just die. That's not a that's not a good answer. That's not a good answer. No, I know. And i know this trend i don just that I told my therapist that she told my psychiatrist that and I'm waiting for a call, but no call so far. So I mean, apparently they don't give a fuck.
01:11:07
Speaker
And that's going to, that's going to roll back to, to you. And I know i know this I'm still here though. Yeah, man. ah yes yeah that's ah That's a great, that's, you know, it's actually only like, it's like, uh, it's like, uh, hashtag, um, nine four four or something like that. Yeah. You don't even have to do all that fucking, all that. that lay line the suicide headline they changed it oh it isn't a big number it's only like nine four four or something there's there's one yeah it's like eight four four something
01:11:39
Speaker
because the make there's steve <unk>s There's people out there because you know and we've talked about Unaliving oneself on this show before and and and and you know, I Understand it's a means of escape. It's and ah it's a means of It's 988 9
01:12:00
Speaker
It's, it's a means of no longer having the pain and, and, you know, um, I don't think it's a coward. I don't think it's a coward's way out or anything like that, but I think it's a very selfish way to, because what people don't understand is when they, when they go that route that they don't realize all the people that they're going to leave.
01:12:24
Speaker
with the what ifs, what could I done? Why, why didn't I listen more? Why didn't I pay attention? Not only that, but also the hurt and the pain that is, that is there as well, uh, that is left behind. It's very selfish. Yeah. I think it's, I think it's very selfish. Uh, and, and I'm, and I'm going to say that as a, as a three time survival, if you want to say survivor, whatever you want to call it at to the end of the day, but Ultimately, it boils down to you and it boils down to and and and I'm no expert at this You know, I I can only speak on What has worked for me and what I've seen has worked for other people when I've when I've had this conversation with them It comes down to you at the end of the day You have to make that conscious decision to fight those negative thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts, you know, don't don't say
01:13:17
Speaker
You know, you know, Hey, John, you, uh, you started working. I can't, well, why can't you? Well, because I can't walk two miles. I can't fucking walk two miles right now. I'll be one hundred. I could barely go up two flights of steps without every goddamn bone in my legs hurt. You know what I mean? I won't be able to feel my right leg by the time I get back, but I'll make up the two goddamn. But, but, you know, but I don't let that stop me. You know, it's like, uh, you know, I'll take the elevator up, but I'm going to walk the stairs down. You know what I mean?
01:13:46
Speaker
So you, you replace the camp with the can as my old man has always said, and it was one of those phrases that I never really understood until I got older. He used to tell me that, uh, can't died in the poor house.
01:14:01
Speaker
Yes. Think on that one for a minute. this and i am i of the drink so I will be right back in one second. Yeah. Very good. i hope I hope he keeps his his earbuds in here, but when I say this, i don't I don't want anyone to take offense to it, and I want you to know I've i've had friends in in this situation. I've taken friends to the hospital. It's hard. It's hard. Nobody wants to go on on what we what we joked about in the military, the grippy socks vacation.
01:14:34
Speaker
but When you're on that line, and and you have to ask yourself, do you really, really, really, really want to do this? And you're and you're really throwing around that question, and and the hotline just doesn't work. Dude, call 911. Yeah, call 911. Call somebody. Call somebody. Do it yourself. you can't you you can You can make the phone call yourself. You need to do that. But you can't make it through on your own.
01:15:05
Speaker
You just can't. it's not Unfortunately, it's not the way that we work as as humans. Some people are strong enough to get through it and get through their shit by themselves and more fucking power to them. But I can tell you, I haven't been able to get through my shit a lot. I haven't been able to. I had to have one of my one of my ah NCOs had to help me go over to a doctor.
01:15:26
Speaker
to go get seen while I was in Korea because I was having such problems. My nightmares were fucking terrible. i was still I was so out of it. I didn't want to go to sleep. I couldn't sleep at night because the nightmares were so fucking terrible. I was shaking during the day. I was having fucking anxiety attacks during the day at work. And my NCO was like, hey, let's talk. And he brought in my platoon sergeant, my platoon leader, and we went over to the psych guys. And I had a talk with one of them. He was like, he doesn't want to kill himself. he just He's at that point.
01:15:57
Speaker
i agree i trust me think That's true with everybody. I don't think anybody really wants to kill themselves I don't know or unalive themselves if we if we want to be politically correct and not get canceled big monetization
Navigating Mental Health Support Systems
01:16:10
Speaker
we just want To be happy we're tired of being in pain We're tired of the same thing kicking us while we're down and I understand Not your exact situation John, but we're how you feel The mindset now I'm not being able to escape it. It's it's hard and you can't do it on your own. Pick up the phone and call if you're there, man. Do it. Yeah, 100% way less important than your life. I know the hospital bill is going to be fun to deal with later, but I'd rather deal with the hospital bill than carry your casket. 100% now that's that's um I almost took one of those three day vacations myself.
01:16:54
Speaker
a few years back. But then I ran the risk of them not letting me out once they had me. thought Shit, they're never gonna let me go. but Then I'm doing a podcast from the Looney Bin where I'm literally the king of the crazies. They think I'm their king. ah ah No, that's the zoo. That's the zoo. They all let me out of the zoo. Sorry. so You escaped.
01:17:27
Speaker
Okay. Well, you know, yeah watch the new planets and check out the new plate of the eight movies. You'll see me in there and I'm not even, in I'm not even in costume, but did did you hear any of that? John, I didn't know if you keep your, you know, I just, I had to just step away for a second. Okay.
01:17:43
Speaker
I heard, I heard the beginning part of it, but I had i had a step where I had really had to go. Watch the replay. Yeah. The gist of it is, man, when you're, when you're in that head space and you're that low, I need you to pick up the phone and if 9 8 8 don't work for you, man, call 911, get help. Well, yeah, I kind of want to go to CPOP. I do it. I know that.
01:18:07
Speaker
Nobody wants to go there. And I, I just said it too, but you know, I, I've taken friends to the house, buddy went there and told him, I'm going to kill myself. I want to be there. And he, they, they sent him away. It's you need to be, I don't know. no i don't leave this neighborhood need everyone You need to say what I told you to say. and No, no, no. I'm fucking serious. You either take me or I'm going to get out of here and I'm going to do it.
01:18:31
Speaker
And hopefully you don't actually do it, but I mean, you need to be, you need to be serious. You need to tell the doctors what's what's really going on. It might be big, but you do it. I'm telling you, it's not worth your life, man. It's not the money is way less important. And I know that it kicks you while you're fucking down. I know the government don't fucking help you with it, man. I know they don't, no matter how much they, they say they're trying to, they don't really care about you or me.
01:18:57
Speaker
But I'm telling you that the two of us at least, and I'm, I'm 99% sure everybody in the comments give a fuck enough to tell you to go. Yeah. one hundred I'd rather have you back on here in three months after a hospital stay than three months from now be be breaking the news to everybody.
01:19:18
Speaker
Yeah. No, yeah I'm not ready to that point right tonight. The more I talk, the more I actually feel way better. And that's good. That's why I talk to people. I talk to people way more than I should. I'm way more open than I should be. A lot of people don't want to fucking hear my problems. And I don't really give a fine fuck because it keeps me alive. Well, you know, as you do I mean, you guys can take that out. You want. But that's how I feel is like it keeps me alive.
01:19:46
Speaker
Well, if we didn't want you on here, we would have kicked you off, John. Well, yeah. Well, vent venting, venting about your feelings and shit. It's like, you know, it's like the whole point of the show is like, you know, guys can't really talk about themselves. But like doing just that is what's keeping me alive. So like, i fuck that. I'm totally for it. And I'm here to support that fact. And then whatever. Yeah, this is this is exactly. And now I you know I know there's other shows out there that that that focus on men's mental health and stuff like that. But there's also a lot of people out there doing shows that focus on men's mental health that want to tell you how to, you know, want to tell you what to do, how to do it, you know, not listen to actually what's going on. But that's one of the reasons why I created this show and why I came up with the show was because I wanted to create a space where we could come on here and we could talk about things and we can share things and not feel like we're being judged and not feel like
01:20:45
Speaker
let me you know, this show's going to go off the air and you know, Connor are going to sit backstage after you leave and be like, man, you know, that guy, what a fucking loser like I actually, I actually give a fuck, you know, I, you know, you see that, you see, you see the, i'm here you see the 22 a day for the veterans, but also in the last couple of years, the suicide rate in men has, has skyrocketed the percentages in the numbers.
01:21:15
Speaker
are Way out of control and and you know if I can side ranch in general away to fucking I it doesn't matter what so you Well, yeah, but you know, I just wanted to create something You know kind of just Be a be an outlet a platform or something, you you know make a small change in a major problem So, you know we you know I think it's incredibly brave of you that you're going to come up here and talk to us and say what's going on in your world and and kind of set an example, you know, for other men, because we started doing this just a few weeks back. It was an idea that I had. I ran it by Connor because, you know, Connor's going to be taking over this show and and and whatnot. I'll still be around. I'll be around for a little while longer.
01:22:09
Speaker
um But, um, you know, I ran it by Connor and I said, Hey, I think this is a cool concept, a cool idea for Monday nights doing the open forum, the open panel, whatever you want to call it and invite men up and say, Hey, there's the link. If, if you guys want to come up, you know, come on up. And if you, you know, you can take part in the topic that we're covering, if we're covering the topic.
01:22:32
Speaker
Or you can completely pull the e-brake on the entire show And if you got something on your mind something on your chest or something's weighing heavy on you bothering you Whatever you had a bad day at work and you want to come back hit that fucking link and bring your asses up here and let's talk about it and You know and at the same time hell who knows we might wind up making a new friend down the road You know and then that gives you an extra and that gives you an extra ear when shit is going sideways and be like I mean I You know, Connor can attest another bonus to being here is like, it's, you guys, you guys are like, I don't know. I feel like you guys are my buddies, you know? Yeah. And we're real, we don't know each other real life or anything like that, but you know, we're homies yeah to a certain extent, you know, we're, we're, we're that, um, I forget the word I'm looking for here. I'm totally drawn to blank, but whatever.
01:23:24
Speaker
Well, and John, I want to... We can rely on each other a little bit. I want i want to extend my appreciation because obviously you and I have never met. um yeah I appreciate that you have entrusted us when we sent down with coming up here and and and putting yourself out here.
01:23:42
Speaker
I'm sure that that took, I know that you say you tell everybody or you try and put yourself out there and watch it. I try to share my story, like I stream regularly. And when I stream, I mean, I only get four or five people, but you know, I tell those, I talk to, they're usually my friends, people I know, and I talk to them about my problems. And this one of my outlets in life, it's one of the things that helps get me through tomorrow.
01:24:08
Speaker
it once in a while, like when I really need to talk to somebody, i I stream and sometimes people show up. Sometimes they don't when they don't. Okay. It's a shitty night, but you know, when they do, it's fucking epic. Yeah. You get homies to talk to you, a bunch of friends, you know, people that, you know, cause everybody, everybody I know knows a bit about my life. Everybody that's, uh, cause it's like last time I streamed, I had 10 people. They were all moderators or VIPs. Nice.
01:24:38
Speaker
And, um, I mean, that was, there was all people that actually know something about me already. It wasn't just random people, you know, it was like, I actually like felt the connection with my crowd and with the people that I was dreaming to. And I actually got some good positive feedback on that shit. And it's just like talking to you guys right now. I'm getting good, positive feedback.
01:25:00
Speaker
yeah And that's that's why we started Monday nights. That's why I haven't got to CPAP because I've been using other outlets. I've been calling friends. I've been calling not favors so much, but calling and calling friends, talking to people like about every fucking detail because like I got to get this shit off my chest, you know. No, exactly. Like, yeah, like boof like flu said, he said it a couple of times tonight or donut for those of you reading the comments.
01:25:31
Speaker
Um, donut is ghost food. So, uh, you know, he said, sometimes we're not going to have the right words. We're not going to know what to say. You know, your friends aren't going to know what to say. Sometimes just having that, that ear to listen. Like, I know there's been a couple of times where Connor's called me and I can tell just, you know, in Jeff's done the same thing where I'm not there to say shit. I'm just there to listen. Yeah.
01:25:57
Speaker
There's other times where Connor calls me and I call him a fat piece of shit because he's going to. him getting dey and i right ill personally ah ran yeah But I'm always there, you know, like, you know, I, you know, I think the guys can, you know, whether it's Jeff or Connor, you know, I'm always there, ah you know, if they just need a friend to talk to or somebody to listen to him, you know, the and and that's something that I'm working on being better myself about is,
01:26:27
Speaker
I still have a hard time if I'm going through some **** just to reach out to the guys and be like, that's still you your year for half hour. Yeah, like, that's still your year for half hour. There's this guy that I met that I go to group with. We're we're in the same substance abuse group. He's a cool as **** I'm buying weed off of and **** You sells weed. I'm like buying weed off and **** and you drug deal we're we're in rude yeah i that drug dealer at aday which it's legally it's legal in our straight
01:27:00
Speaker
yeah so is it really is it really dealing when it's legal i don't know he just sell something that's already legal it wass like buying a cigarette on somebody air are they're dealing i mean yeah i guess so i'm sorry anyway um He's a really cool dude, but I was talking to him at the end of the night for about an hour and that's one of the people that I talked to that I called got out of the blue instead of streaming so I'd have somebody to talk to because like I was ready to fucking album myself so I talked to him for like two hours and fucking I'm sure I was a pain in the ass trying to show with it broke ah took show with his buddy and fucking play some video games and get fucking high but
01:27:36
Speaker
guys ah
01:27:41
Speaker
and younna That was, I was, I was going to mention something about that earlier. A is free. A is free. Yeah. I've never found a meeting. I feel comfortable. It's not this drink it's not fun, but you got to follow the 12 step programs to actually, to actually, I gotta put this shit down first.
Substance Use and Recovery
01:28:04
Speaker
now Yeah. And it you know, sometimes that's a lot. That's again, that's, a that's one of the guilty go to an AA meeting cause I'd still drink.
01:28:13
Speaker
or like it's one of the I was in a uh pre recovery or a um recalled uh anyways it's it's it's it's it's like uh you know pre-stop drinking classes when you first stop drinking you know what to do but i'm still drinking so like i felt guilty as fuck going to that class people are all talking about not drinking and everything you're supposed to do after you stop drinking and i'm like i just couldn't wait to go home and have a fucking beer Well, people don't go to the those programs because they're perfect. They go there because they need help. You're not the only one and who who's either one there for that reason, who's still having problems, or two, who's going through it at that time and who's thinking about a beer while they're sitting there listening to it. You're not. Everybody's probably thinking about a beer while they're listening. I bet. yeah I'd be willing to bet everybody in that AA meeting is thinking about it. And and that's the other thing.
01:29:10
Speaker
I've noticed, you know, especially the last few months. You know, I've been kind of riding the high for the last few months, feeling really good, you know, ah yeah you know, about life and and and things in general. I'm waiting for that kick in the dick. I'll be 100% honest with you. I'm waiting for the kick in the dick. But, you know, I've been feeling really good. and and And, you know, I used to drink. I didn't drink a lot, but I would drink on podcast nights.
01:29:40
Speaker
Um, and now, I mean, in the last couple of months, even on Saturdays, you know, I like, i'm except for Saturdays, I'm drinking water every, every podcast or pop or tea or something. I'm not drinking during it, but when you start feeling better and you know, like if you get out and start walking and start doing the little baby steps on the exercise to start losing weight and and whatnot.
01:30:10
Speaker
I've noticed that, and I'm going to say for me, and ah and I've seen it with some other people as well. When they're feeling better about life and they're feeling better about themselves, they're not wanting to drink so much because that drink and drinking is a, is a, is a crutch. It's like, uh, yeah, like Connor was saying earlier about his back, sir, before he had his back surgery, you know, he was, you know, I'll take a pill now. And then an hour later, take another one or smoke some weed or whatever. and That was a, vi it was a crutch.
01:30:39
Speaker
Uh, because it made you feel better for a short time and alcohol, unfortunately, uh, for all of us who enjoy the sweet taste of alcohol, it's a downer at the end of the day. So if you're already feeling like, like a giant piece of shit, yeah, you're going to feel great for a little bit, but ultimately that, that, that, that intensive intensifies the effects of depression and everything else. So, you know, like.
01:31:07
Speaker
it's it's, it's a double whammy, you know? Yeah. It does make you feel better for a little bit, but also it makes you feel worse than you already did. So when you're exercising or you're, you're talking about, and you know what, run over you know i need to listen you know what, I'm not, and you know what? I'm not $200,000 in debt with a big old fancy piece of paper on my wall. Yeah. So exactly the that's therapy still it's only like she early in her twenty s too so she's got to be in debt debt like that. Yeah. Yeah.
01:31:37
Speaker
You know, uh, it doesn't take, uh, it doesn't take eight years of, of schooling to figure this stuff out. And I'm just speaking of real life. And this is the experiences that I've lived. Uh, I've definitely heard that before. just And, and, and I've noticed in, in myself doing it is a motherfucker. That's the mindset that you, you've got to do. You gotta to get in the right mindset and the right frame of mind or whatever to to to do this. Cause you know what you have to do. You're you you're not dumb. You know what you have to do. It's just doing my, you know, when I talk to my therapist next time, you know, i like I said, I read a diary cards, so I like kind of write it. I jot down a little bit about my day every day.
01:32:24
Speaker
about what going and we dont Oh, you know, like last week, my my my my best friend grandmother died. That was tragic because I was really close to her too. That was, that was tragic. So I was, and I'm really empathetic person, unfortunately. So I felt fucking terrible for my best friend. And that was, that was horrible. And, uh, but you know, it's like,
01:32:52
Speaker
Take those take those take those journal cards keep doing your journal cards, but also on a side note Yeah, this is this is uh, this is just You know if you want to on a side note on a do it do a daily goal Something you want to write it down on write it down on your daily journal and whether it be a ah Do you live in town or do you live in the country? so Okay, so like Write a daily goal of I'm gonna walk to the stop sign now I don't i don't know how far the need of stop sign is but and do it but a check i'd say There you go Baby steps daily goal. I'm gonna walk to the stop sign and back Yeah, I'm gonna do it twice and check that shit off
01:33:47
Speaker
give yourself a little **** gold star or something. I walked the other way though. I go down the hill. I live right on the hill. Well, you know, you gotta go back up. cause that's actually Yeah, there you go. Yeah. Like your daily gold thing. I used to do that. Um I used to uh and I actually just stopped doing it and I would do it in my head because I that's just how I work. I I thrive under organized chaos as I like to call it.
01:34:13
Speaker
i would make a deadly goal for myself like Organized even at work. You know what? I don't feel like going up two flights of stairs, but I'm going to do it today. One time. I'm going to do it one time. And I live up there. So like, hey, that's always a bitch. Yeah. Or, or, or something, you know, you know, instead of drinking 12 beers today, I'm only going to drink six beers. There's a daily. That's the problem. I need to start. My problem is I'm just so fucking broke up all the time.
01:34:45
Speaker
well I can't really like other drinks are expensive. Yeah. Drink water. Excuse me. Sorry about the burps. I'm just like. ah mayor the the and whether it's alcohol or it's marijuana or it's cocaine or heroin or whatever you're doing, man, even if it's not a drug, if it's like if it's like Pepsi, like like pop, you don't have to be drunk. I had a girlfriend that was in the Pepsi like that. Yeah, it could be it could be pop. It could be snacks. I met her. She had like 16, 16, 12 packs of Pepsi. Yeah. i She just said she drank all day at night. It's like, oh, my God.
01:35:47
Speaker
I used to, uh, I used to drink six to eight pops a day and I had to cut myself. I had to, you know, I had to, I mean, it is, ah I did so much beer. i mean I mean, I'm drinking the same beer, but I don't know. And much like these are really any differences there. Yeah. And, and, well not and, much and, and, and, and just like they used to say about quitting smoking, you start cutting down your drinking and you set daily goals. And then like I said, you know, yeah, yeah you just still have, yeah. Well, nobody's saying you can't drink.
01:36:16
Speaker
But you start setting daily goals to drink less and less. And before you know it, all that extra money that you're spending on on alcohol, you have for other things. You know, go pick up a fucking hobby or something, you know. a um But you'll have that extra money to do other things with instead of and and and me speaking as a former alcoholic man, I know how much money.
01:36:42
Speaker
I was throwing down the drain and I used to smoke and I know how much money what i love in a day or whatever. plus let stack device did i When I quit smoking, I, you know, I used to hear people all the time. Yeah. Did you know how much money you you'd save if you quit smoking? I never believed him. I never listened to him. I did. I quit smoking and it was like is there but cigarettes are like $12 a back or 15 the back.
01:37:07
Speaker
Yeah, not yet. Exactly. I quit smoking in within a month. I noticed a huge difference in my checking account. You know what I mean? And the same thing when I, when I started cutting down the amount of beer that I was drinking, when I, when I, when I, now I ain't never quit drinking, you know, but I wasn't raging alcoholic. I got it under control. Um, and I noticed real quick, wow, I got all kinds of extra money that I didn't have before because I'm not buying you know, 10 10 cases of beer a week, you know, you know, and now it's like even even as of recently, I was buying a 12 pack, three nights a week, four nights a week, and I was like, or more, and I was plowing through when we would do a show. I know it's not an excuse. And it's not like it's I was told just making excuses for my fucking behavior. Like I used to drink a 1.75 liter bottle of vodka every other day. Yeah.
01:38:06
Speaker
I was drinking. I was drinking a liter rock a day basically. Yeah. And then now I only drink a fifteen pack of beer. So, it's like I've cut way back over the last five years or so. Seven years. I've cut way back from where I was. But like I'm nowhere close to near where I need to be. i'm so Well, yeah, and that's it. Basically, a big **** loser is where I see myself. I wouldn't call yourself a loser. I'm a **** loser that can't get as like a **** I wouldn't say all that. I mean, you just did it. You're just there like, you know, you're in the right way. Like this. That's how I feel though. It's just the facts don't change the matter how I feel. You know what I mean? It just sucks. You know, it's just the way it is. Yeah. Yeah. Start like, uh, like Donut said, start somewhere. Good. Yeah. Start somewhere. Thank you, dude. I appreciate that.
01:39:04
Speaker
donuts Donut's been tossing some good some good knowledge out there tonight. Donut, we're going to have to have you pull up one night and join the conversation. What I was going to ask you before ah before my wife came in, i'm I'm running out of time here. I've got to go help my wife out. But I was going to get a couple minutes left anyways. Because I know how I felt was, do you really like how you feel when you're on your substances, whatever it is?
01:39:31
Speaker
whatever actually do ah unfortunately I can tell you when I was when I was high on my Percocet and I had a beer in my hand or I i was I was smoking I was like yeah and tell you right now I would rather be sober every day of the week because I'm so much I think so much clearer.
01:39:53
Speaker
the You're thinking about how you're feeling right now. made address Instead of the facts and and Glick just told you the facts. You're not a loser. You're not. You're down on your luck. You're in a rut and and it fucking sucks, dude. And when you're in that and then you use the substances to try and escape, it it digs that rut deeper. and when you're so And when you're not sober, you don't look at the facts.
01:40:15
Speaker
When you're sober, you can look at the facts. I'm not a loser. I just need to work on it. I just need to take baby steps. Nothing. you My dad always says you don't eat an elephant all at once. You eat it one bite at a time. Substance abuse is an elephant, man, and it's fucking sitting on you. And it's knocking the M11 shit out of you right now. And it's not going to make your depression any better. I know these are all things you already know, man. but Wake up. Wake up sober for a day or two.
01:40:43
Speaker
And feel, think about the facts. Think about the facts when you wake up. I mean, i I already said this once, but I always did everything for somebody else back in my past. And I really got to do shit for myself now.
01:40:59
Speaker
yeah Like that the girl ah the girl that I'm like hopelessly in love with right now She's she's got to take a heart. She's about to take a hundred grand loan so She can buy the house that she lives in and her grandmother lived there in until she died last week yeah take a hundred grand loan to buy out her her ago and her mom here when i would we have She can actually own the house Yeah but like she's got her shit together. Yeah. Well, it doesn't want to be with anybody. It doesn't ever shit together. It's like, like at the same time, as much as I need to get my shit together for myself, like if I ever want to be with like anybody and this is the only negro girl I'd want to be with, like I don't have any interest in anybody else at this point, but whatever. It's besides the, it's like, oh you know, I can be there for anybody else with another for myself.
Importance of Self-Awareness & Personal Goals
01:41:56
Speaker
Yeah. No, Um, and, and that's the thing, you know, a self-awareness and, and, uh, real quick, uh, don't, uh, we can make an exception for you, brother. I'm sure you're a handsome son of a bitch too, but we can make an exception for you. You can come up here. Okay. Now I told him he needed to come up sometime. He said, doesn't he not face camp. So, uh,
01:42:19
Speaker
African life scars has me a different kind of self-aware. Yeah, we can we can make an exception for you brother You don't have to worry about that. But like I said, I'm sure you I'm sure you're a handsome son of a bitch um No, you know ultimately and I'll say this real quick before we go into the music and and then come back with our final thoughts and and the The network shout outs and all that stuff um Start with the self-awareness start with taking accountability um and
01:42:51
Speaker
One of my worst enemies for me when I first started and decided that I was going to be better and get my mind right was my past. I was the worst when it came to letting my past dictate my life in living in the past. And, you know, I wasn't, I was not a good person when I was younger and I was not like, you know, when my kids were younger, I failed as a dad. Um, and I would let those things eat me up and beat me up constantly. And I had to, you know, we,
01:43:33
Speaker
We have to be able to move past that we have to be able to move away from the past and stop letting the past tell us who we are and what we are. And then we also have to take accountability. And with that, by that, I mean, I made those mistakes. I didn't like who that person was. And now I want to be better. And it's not going. What I did in the past isn't going to dictate who I am today or tomorrow or next year or anything else.
01:44:05
Speaker
yeah Yeah, exactly. You know, so you start focusing on yourself, you start becoming a better version of yourself. That girl might start looking at, you know, don't do it for her, do it for you. And the other day, if it's meant to be in the cards, it's meant to be in the cards. It's not meant to be, it's not going to be no matter what. You know,
01:44:30
Speaker
Uh, but do it for yourself, man. Cause that's where you're going to get the most. You're going to, you're, you're going to get the most, one of the words I'm looking for.
01:44:42
Speaker
You're going to be most proud of yourself. You're going to feel better about yourself. and sand iron al together Yeah. Ultimately. Yeah. Like a sense of satisfaction and and women are going to, this is, this is the thing men and women are going to choose who men and women choose. We can't change that at the end of the day.
01:45:00
Speaker
We can just be better for ourselves. And if we like the version of who we are, cause I hate, dude, I used to hate myself. I was miserable and I was never a cutter or anything like that. I was a puncher. I would hit, dude, I would punch the hell out of walls. And I, my hands are my thing. I, my, my, my apartment at one point costs about 2000 to get fixed. Yeah.
01:45:24
Speaker
and i for My hands look like my hands look like shit i so many like but All the walls to the entire apartment that we had to remodel the entire purpose It's just this my past when I was young when I was in my 20s, like I used to punch everything I would just hold walls instead of dealing with anger. Oh Yeah, I had a role. I have raw anger issues. Um Connor before we go into the music or anything. You got anything you'd like to like to add Yeah up topic change threw me off tonight but
01:45:56
Speaker
got a threeway um but but I'm glad you came up up here, man. I'm glad that you talked to us and I hope that you keep sticking with it a problem and not don't give up on yourself, man. The story is never over until it's over. Don't **** quit. Don't quit on yourself. Don't quit on life. There's more to it. I promise. I know I'm twenty-seven. I'm young. I'm dumb and I don't want to sound like I'm preaching to you but don't quit, man. Don't Don't quit. 27 doesn't mean you're dumb. It doesn't mean you haven't had a life experience, you know? and i just don't want to think could just raise your me right here like and I know how I feel sometimes when when I hear somebody and I feel like they're preaching to me and I just want to want them to shut up. yeah i don't i don't get that I don't get that at all because like if if you're too if you're too old to to appreciate what somebody young has to say, then you're too dumb to appreciate what they have to say.
01:46:54
Speaker
I appreciate that. But my my final thoughts, man, are are just it's not over till it's over. It's just not don't give up on yourself. Don't quit. I'm talking about life. I'm not talking about whatever you're doing the next day. I'm not talking about whatever you're doing right now. I'm finishing the joint. Don't quit till it's over. I mean, I wish I had a joint right now. It's not over until it's over and you can't give up on yourself.
Network Promotions & Encouragement
01:47:24
Speaker
100% 100% Appreciate you coming up here, man. You you are yeah what i am i Appreciate having a place to vent a little bit ah You you are our first little Yeah, you are first quote-unquote um Unexpected guests with the open forum. So Yeah, yeah but that just You got a girl today telling you you can do whatever. They're naked. Would you be happy with what you can physically do right now? Stamina running out of. Yeah, no, exactly. exactly pulls down there I know I wouldn't be happy with it else.
01:48:12
Speaker
Damn it, three pumps is more than two. I did better than the last time. nice yes Success. You know, yeah, I was, I was, and actually this, I was going to go one way with the music, but this conversation took me another way. Uh, we're going to have to show up with, uh, 6am with their song called life is beautiful. We'll be back with, um, Connor dropped his quote. So I'll drop my quotes and, uh, then we'll do our show or our network shout outs and all that fun jazz, uh, and get the flock out of here. So here's a little.
01:48:48
Speaker
Hey man, John. Appreciate you coming up brother. Absolutely. ah Don't be a stranger and uh, you know, I'll be back. I, I show up almost every night whenever he's dreaming. Yeah. I'll be back. And uh, you know, you guys have a great night. Hopefully you take our words, uh, to heart. I will. I don't really get to put it to heart, but you know what I mean? I don't take requests. You got at least two guys.
01:49:14
Speaker
Uh, you got at least two guys in your corner, uh, cheering you on and backing you up brother. So if all else fails, you got us to jerk offs in your corner. so we go to dirk off might do that later I've done it three times during the show. not exactly Wow, dude. that That's the overachiever right there. ah fuck examine sp it great times i mean damn numbers What's your wife's going to do now when you go to bed? I mean, shit. He's got more. hang I guarantee it. Big boy. Big tank. Small wiener. Here's a little 6 a.m. later Yeah. Have a good night, brother. A little 6 a.m. with Life is Beautiful. We'll come back and close this show out.
01:54:06
Speaker
6 a.m. With life is beautiful. I love that song and that is such a great album that that song is off of man Nikki six really poured his heart out remember manda Literally died what a what a like perfect song to is perfect Open your eyes man. life Life is beautiful. It's not it's not worth giving up. It's not worth giving up.
01:54:32
Speaker
If you hit it, ah if you hit us up prior donut, we might be able to make a song happen. Um, but no, yeah, like I said, that's a, that's a fantastic album. Uh, Nikki six was, Oh, I can't remember the band, but he was in that band and he, he battled a lot of mental issues and drug addiction. And the man literally died. He was dead. Um,
01:55:00
Speaker
And, uh, this, this album that he did with 6AM, his new band, he really just pours his heart out in that album. Um, but a fantastic album nonetheless.
01:55:15
Speaker
Um, but nonetheless, we do appreciate you guys being here. Um, you know, what I wanted to do with the open panel or the open forum or however was exactly what happened tonight. Uh, shout out to Connor.
01:55:28
Speaker
I know it wasn't where we thought we were going tonight, but, uh, to, to being able to come back your first night back and being able to just like roll right with the punches and, then and, and, and, and rock it out, man. Uh, you know, um, that's what we're all about here at men caring for men. We do, you know, want to be able to help. We want to be a voice, a positive change. And you know, even in our small.
01:55:56
Speaker
our small little bubble on the internet. That's what I was hoping to to get out of Monday nights. I know that this the the open panel is is new, but it's nice to be able to to to actually put a face behind some of the the men who need the caring from other men. Yeah, exactly. ah Oh, no worries, fluke. Life happens, brother. You don't have to apologize for disappearing. I dipped out. from' dude Don't worry about it.
01:56:26
Speaker
Alright, uh, been caring for men is brought to you by the nonsense school network Check out the rest of the shows on the network um We have Monday nights men care for men the show right here Tuesday nights is Glick's house of music I'll be back tomorrow night 8 p.m. Eastern time with new guests that if I could get my phone to cooperate with me I would tell you who it is.
01:56:56
Speaker
ah Bobby Scott. Bobby Scott is in the house of music tomorrow night. We'll be hanging out with Bobby, playing some of his music. That's what I do. I interview up and coming local artists, put spotlight on them and hopefully introduce you guys to some new artists that you might dig yourselves. Wednesday nights is what the fuck news. It's in the news and it makes us say what the fuck. We're definitely going to talk about it and it's probably going to make you say what the fuck as well.
01:57:24
Speaker
Every other Thursday night is Cass's Corner that is hosted by my son, Cash. And myself, it is Wrestling Talk. We'll be back this Thursday. We will be doing our picks for Bash in Berlin, the upcoming pay-per-view this weekend.
01:57:40
Speaker
and maybe talking a little more about different things in wrestling as well. Fridays is whose argument is it anyways? That's hosted by a Blaze. He's he's still trying to find his footing and where he wants to go, but it's a debate show, a conversational show where, yeah you know, he comes up with topics and ideas and has guests on and they talk about whatever topic he wants to talk about. Saturday nights is nonsensical nonsense. It is your foundation show for the nonsensical network. It's unhinged, unapologetic.
01:58:09
Speaker
The lunatics take over the asylum and then we do a little thing that we call the open door challenge. We drop the link in the chat and we challenge you guys to hit that link and come on board and hang out with us and act a damn fool. And then we wind things down on Sunday where if it fits in Jeff's mouth, I mean, in a garage and and it's got an engine, Jeff and Benji are going to talk about it. It's Jeff's garage on Sundays. It's our car show.
01:58:35
Speaker
And I think if I can start getting my lazy ass out of bed because football season is right around the corner, Sunday mornings, I will be doing a fantasy football slash football ah NFL and college football show, maybe an hour long. But that'll just be for football season, all here on the network. You can find us everywhere.
01:58:54
Speaker
Facebook, Instagram, X and TikTok. We do the shows live on YouTube, Twitch and Facebook. Get in the chatters box. Interact with us. Engage. We love hanging out with you guys and we love chatting with you guys. And if you can't join us live, you can listen to us any place, anytime, wherever you listen to podcasts at, all at the Nonsense School Network or simply go to bio.link slash nonsensical nonsense or nonsense from network. Sorry. And all those links will be there, including the link to our merch store.
01:59:23
Speaker
which if you guys feel inclined and you'd like to support us by buying some of our merch, there's the link there as well. Uh, nonsensical dash nonsense dot my spreadsheet or spread shop.com got all kinds of goodies up there. Now we'll be adding more down the road as well. Uh, with that being said, we're going to get the flock out of here, but before we do, as always, we always like to end with a little quote unquote of the night.
01:59:50
Speaker
Connor, you got anything before before we sign off?
01:59:57
Speaker
um Well, I kind of said it before we went to break, but I'll repeat it again for those who didn't hear. I want it to i really open sticks. The show's not over until till it's over. it's time The show's not over until Fat Lady Sings.
02:00:13
Speaker
oh And you choose when that fat lady sings whether it's how you're treating your body Whether it's you unaliving yourself, which God you just need to not do it's this life is too beautiful For you to give up Don't quit. I Know it sucks keep going and if you look down there There's a phone number for you to call if you're having problems and if that phone number don't work just switch the eights to ones and They'll get you there too There's people out there that will Kinda piggyback off of what Connor said and Blaze and I were talking about this a couple weeks ago And it's something that I've said a million times um One bad chapter does not mean that the story is over basically our life is like a book There's gonna be really awesome chapters in our lives and there's gonna be really shitty chapters in our lives and
02:01:12
Speaker
The end of the day that chapter will always end and you never know what the next chapter is gonna be So don't give up keep going Be better set goals for yourselves have those tough conversations with yourself and You know, there's always there's always light at the end of the tunnel. I know that's cheesy I know it's cliche, but if anything I can stand here as a prime example Things do get better And if you guys would have known me 20 years ago, you guys would have known me 10 years ago. You guys would have known me five years ago. You would see that what I'm saying is a hundred percent true because I've been through it. I've seen it. I've done it. I've felt it. And it took me a long time, but I got here. So my smile is real and, and, and, and it's genuine and I'm having fun and I'm, I'm really loving life right now. So, um, I'm glad that I'm.
02:02:10
Speaker
still here at the end of the day. But as I always say, every Monday before we leave, a successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him. So you keep throwing and we're going to keep building.
02:02:25
Speaker
I thought I'd send you away behind me. And with that being said, we'll see you guys next Monday with a brand new episode of Men Can for Mid. Tune in tomorrow night, 8 PM Eastern, Clicks House of Music, hanging out with Bobby Scott.