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Nonsensical Nonsense: Put yo money where your mouth is
13 Plays24 days ago
Oh sheet son, it's another Saturday night, WOOT WOOT!! You know what that means, OPEN DOOR CHALLENGE!!! Bring that heat, bring that energy, bring those claims, but also, please bring those mothin f0ckin receipts!!!!
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Transcript
00:00:01
Speaker
Okay.
00:01:52
Speaker
Yes.
00:02:53
Speaker
Hey! Hey!
Warm Welcome and Introductions
00:03:16
Speaker
are live Saturday, motherfuckers, and welcome to...
00:03:25
Speaker
set my deck and ain't my asshole you sons of bitches
00:03:31
Speaker
but what maybe
00:03:35
Speaker
e we laugh we is laugh saturday motherpackers and welcome to What show is this? Nonsensical nonsense. I had to think about it. Saturday night.
00:03:52
Speaker
What's going on, everybody? Hopefully you guys are having a good weekend a good weekend. If you're not already, go ahead and check us out. and Give us a little follow. Give us a little like. Give us a little share. We're everywhere.
00:04:04
Speaker
Facebook, Instagram, X, and TikTok. Shows live throughout the week on YouTube, Facebook, and Twitch. You're going to know when we're live if you follow us and you turn on the notifications.
00:04:15
Speaker
And did you can also listen to all the podcasts on all the podcasting platforms. We are there. You can check out all the shows. ah Give them a little listen. But we got Michael is somewhere in the building. Yeah, somewhere in the building.
00:04:35
Speaker
Brittany's here, and you guys know me. I am apparently a giant fucktard. yeah Yeah. um What's going on?
00:04:51
Speaker
Johnny Bong's in the chat already. Benji shots fired. I have no idea. This was ah this was Blaze's brainchild tonight. I did the really sick-ass background and thumbnail and everything for it.
00:05:06
Speaker
So... That was that was blazes doing so I think he was still a little bit fired up after last week with that guy that popped up on the panel and tried to talk shit and blazes blazes in his ass.
Humorous Reflections and Stereotypes
00:05:22
Speaker
What's going on? Rich a lot. What's going on with you? Johnny Bongs has got his bong packed and ready. Let's shout out the chat here real quick. Lazy Jedi.
00:05:36
Speaker
Hashtag like the motherfucking stream, bitches. Johnny Bongs. It was like White Power Comedy Hour, dude. It was crazy in there. It always is.
00:05:48
Speaker
I did not know that was what I was going to expect. He didn't seem like that kind of a feller. Yeah, they they hang out with a bunch of racist Canadians. So... You know what I'd say about Canadians? Much like prostitutes and the homeless, they're not real people.
00:06:02
Speaker
I was just about to say they're not real people. Sergeant Modog in the building, what's going on with you, brother? You goddamn degenerate. You're degenerate right there along with us.
00:06:12
Speaker
Let me go ahead and drop that link one time for anybody who would like to pop on in here and hang out tonight. You guys are all welcome to because it is the Open Door Challenge, the ODC. Angel, what's up, girl? How are you doing?
00:06:25
Speaker
be it's It's coming. oh there it is. On your faces. What's going on with you people tonight? What's going on, Michael? coming on your faces. I got that.
00:06:37
Speaker
You know what I mean by you people. like that You people. Say hi, Sue. Hi, Sue. Hi, Sue. say hi su like su and that so from the um johnbel the whole movie Johnny what's going on with your brother?
00:07:00
Speaker
You're looking quite zapper, sir. I appreciate that. yeah Yeah, what you looking dressed for, man? You going to a Panic at the Disco? or Somebody today told me that diehard sublime fans are usually heroin addicts.
00:07:16
Speaker
Yeah.
00:07:22
Speaker
re type shit and like through the music guy question somebody today told me that diehard sublime fans are usually heroin addicts yes that's ah That's a pretty good stereotype and call to make on that. I don't get it. I mean, you don't have to be. I don't know. i love i love Sublime.
00:07:51
Speaker
I'm a huge fan. I wouldn't say I'm dying hard. Bad Fish, an excellent Sublime cover band. They play the Nelson Ledges Quarry Park every year. Twice. And I live like 15 minutes to there.
00:08:04
Speaker
Okay, are they good? Yeah. It's a sweet spot to party. Not as sweet as it used to be.
00:08:12
Speaker
little rougher now than it used to be. It's not so much the touchy-feely hippie crowd. Pop-smoking hippie crap. Goddamn new generation ruining everything for us.
00:08:26
Speaker
heard A lot of them that wear some on-fruits couldn't even name a fucking song. Semper Fidelis wearing Semper Fidelis. My, uh,
00:08:37
Speaker
hell yeah my ah my middle daughter, she has a Sublime shirt. And I'm like, you know, that's a band, right? She's like, no, i just liked the shirt. It was really cool. And I was like, okay, fair enough. I'm not going to argue with you because they do make some cool. I mean, they do have some cool-ass Sublime shirts out there.
00:08:50
Speaker
Just like like Pink Floyd, too. has They have some pretty dope shirts, too. Oh, hell yeah. Your daughter went and seen Sublime? Yeah, I don't know. i think i would I would say that it's a safe bet that there is a good percentage of Sublime fans, diehard Sublime fans, that enjoy their heroin.
00:09:08
Speaker
i don I don't understand. like What about their music screams heroin addicts? last stuff It's just the changing of the people. Yeah. It's just a lifestyle, bro.
00:09:21
Speaker
yeah It's because like the festivals and everything turns into like harder drugs. Shit. Ain't that the fucking truth. I'm such a fucking lame-o. I don't do no drugs.
00:09:35
Speaker
I just drink alcohol.
Music, T-Shirts, and Anecdotes
00:09:36
Speaker
Hey, Michael. need to warn you. There is somebody behind you. I know. Okay. i need to warn you there is somebody behind you i know okay I saw a hand in it.
00:09:51
Speaker
Can you make her ride in the back seat? I just picked her up from the Arro Quattro. Arro Quattro. ah Can you make her ride in the back seat? No. She does that herself. Can you make her drive ride in the back seat?
00:10:09
Speaker
See your tootsies? Oh, that's right. You have to keep it elevated if possible. I'm driving Miss Daisy. you know s ourlimo drivers but And I needed your address just said to send you an invitation. Click, man. I'm not coming to your ditty party. Stop inviting me.
00:10:39
Speaker
It's a daddy party. Uncle daddy, uncle daddy party. Oh, I'm in. I'm in then I'm there. I misread that. I misread the invitation. Yeah. I thought said Diddy.
00:10:52
Speaker
Bring your own... ah court What does that shit have got? ah bloom but Baby oil. Baby oil. Yeah, baby oil. That's it. Thank you. B-Y-M-B-O.
00:11:07
Speaker
Bring your own bad odor. um No, baby oil. God damn it, Brittany. Keep up the conversation. Yeah. We're 10 minutes into the show, Brittany.
00:11:17
Speaker
I just wanted to rub olive oil on my tank glick. There's a guy that I work with like straight up like five minutes in when we start working. He just reeks of onions and bad odor. That's why my brain just went immediately get there. I'm not looking forward to going back to work on Monday.
00:11:37
Speaker
Because they're taking away the floor fans at work and we're already sweaty and hot as fuck up in that bitch. That's bullshit. She said Johnny's jacket looks like it weighs more than he does.
00:11:48
Speaker
oh Aww. It's not that anymore. Be nice. No fun, Shannon. Shit.
00:11:57
Speaker
shit John is a goddamn good-looking man with a fabulous mustache. That mustache belongs in pornography.
00:12:08
Speaker
You can fuck right on off with that. Shit. Take me while get this thing, man. I'm confusing my kinks already. this Yeah, there's a bunch of them. I get lost in the next... Do you mean it to count? Or...
00:12:29
Speaker
There we go. Get rid of them comments. I was like, I couldn't delete it. I was trying to hit him with ah with a block and a band. it was just taking It was just taking its sweet ass time. That reminds me. I got to jump in the chat over here. it and I forgot to tell you, Glick.
00:12:47
Speaker
It's not a small world. It's a small state. when When Blaze was up here visiting and we went to ah Dave Roll Alley and they had like that fucking hippie sell shit, like go i don't know what fight like a little bizarre.
00:13:04
Speaker
Ran into somebody I went to high school with. Her brother just moved from Columbus to Newark. Oh, nice. Hell yeah. so i us guy named Chris Barnes, he's cool people, man. Be good to him.
00:13:18
Speaker
You know. I know Chris Barnes. As the king of Newark, I will make sure I greet him. as the king of newark i will make sure i greet him properly and show them the NERP.
00:13:31
Speaker
NERP. NERP. Ask someone who wants to see a magic trick and then see if he calls you the N-word 52 times. um That was by far the weirdest that's ever happened to me at your place.
00:13:44
Speaker
it That was by far the weirdest thing it ever happened to me at my place. Like...
00:13:53
Speaker
Wow, that was a that was that was a that was a weird weekend altogether. That was ah that was a it was a fun weekend. I drank more than usual.
00:14:05
Speaker
I didn't drink as much as usual. You always say you're not much of a drinker. Oh, I'm not much of a drinker. Every time you're online, drinking. I think you're a liar. You're lying to yourself.
00:14:17
Speaker
Only on Saturdays. You look a lot younger with your
Personal Stories and Observations
00:14:21
Speaker
haircut. It's kind of weird. Boy Scout. I told you guys I'm 23 and you fuckers won't listen to me.
00:14:29
Speaker
<unk> What's the occasion?
00:14:36
Speaker
yeah i make me on occasions Come on now. surera Maybe maybe maybe he just wanted to look great for me tonight. Why don't you leave him alone, Brittany? Okay.
00:14:48
Speaker
I'm just curious. Am I not allowed to ask questions? No worries. I just didn't want to feel like I was rolled out of bed, so I threw something nice on. He looks good.
00:14:59
Speaker
Except the chick with our little one. Oh, dog. Oh, Michael, I found out. Z Nation, not a movie, a series. And I thought that might have been it. DJ Klaus is in that, he's great in it.
00:15:12
Speaker
Yeah, he was radio DJ. He was a radio DJ.
00:15:20
Speaker
trying to get Tarantula to come out Friday night and witness your ass kicking, Glick. but You say that every month and every month you just get embarrassed.
00:15:31
Speaker
Not accurate. the first month The first month I cleaned your clock. It's the first month I smoked, Brian. You didn't clean my clock. you That was such a bullshit for you, and we both know it was. if You got lucky with smog. Oh, God. One time, smog's right all the time.
00:15:54
Speaker
Exactly. When it's out, I'm 23. 23 beers in. I'm on my first beer. Yeah. twenty three beers in ah i i on my first be Just some dude. I wanted to get me the summertime beer tonight, and I wanted... Oh, MoDog. I don't know if that's a good one to bring up.
00:16:16
Speaker
Which one? Let's let's just put it this way, MoDog. She had a bigger dick than him. yeah oh She was a He was bigger, longer, and uncut.
00:16:35
Speaker
I thought that only happened in Taiwan. ah Lady boys. To the reputation that extended.
00:16:51
Speaker
Jesus Christ, Angel. ah When did you start drinking? Yeah, I wanted to get me a summertime beer like a summer shandy or something and you didn't have it. What did you do, bitch?
00:17:05
Speaker
What happened to beer? Is there beer anymore? Or is it all this fruity flavored lady shit? I don't know. yeah there's a lot There's a lot of it. i mean There's a lot of it out there.
00:17:18
Speaker
I just drink Miller Lite. I mean, that's really all I drink. I'm not very adventurous in the big world. I really wanted a summer shandy. I don't know about a summer shandy.
00:17:29
Speaker
don't belong to a lot of shandy.
00:17:33
Speaker
I'm an IP gun adult. Nice, and you eat the IPA. Well, they go down like water. That's the thing. like And they'll still get you like messed up. That's why lot of people eat it. how I feel. Then you pee a lot.
00:17:54
Speaker
I pee a lot anyways when I'm drinking. You gotta be like that astronaut chick and put on the diaper. Yeah. are You wanted to win it or not. um like Best place to drink in the pool.
00:18:08
Speaker
It'll taste like vodka. Depends. Oh, damn.
00:18:16
Speaker
That's a warrior. yeah but drink um yeah Well, you know, I understand. yeah i think I think people do have to be drunk or stoned to watch our shit. So, I mean, I don't blame you. Or they're like some wine pens.
00:18:34
Speaker
You don't have to be high to enjoy us, but it helps. Yeah, definitely you sir Yeah, don't forget, 9 out of 10 griffles of proof. Oh my gosh, was watching this show where this oh my gosh i was watching this show where the like They have like these fake commercials. and like This grandson comes home from college.
00:18:54
Speaker
They like pack a bong and the grandma's like, hell yeah!
00:19:00
Speaker
I know how to wake everybody up for Christmas and they just pack a bong and they hit it and everybody's like, mmm! Smells good! you go It's on the interwebs. You know it's true. Nine out of ten grannies approve.
00:19:14
Speaker
Shit.
00:19:30
Speaker
<unk>nsary owner nice if you want to come i've come to the determination that we watch way too many movies and televisions on our television shows on this network.
00:19:41
Speaker
All us. We have no lives. We just go to work and go home and watch TV. That's all we fucking do. Yeah, basically. it'sating Words are hard.
00:19:54
Speaker
Yeah, because Blaze asked about that twisted metal in the group chat earlier, and I'm like, I see it. Love that series. Anthony Mackie is fucking awesome.
00:20:05
Speaker
Yeah, Mackie was great.
Entertainment and Gaming Discussions
00:20:08
Speaker
Don't ruin it. No, there's nothing. not ruining it. The voice that clown is Amy Poehler's husband. Yeah, Will Arnett. i larnet amy poler amy poeler's husband yeah we arnet Yeah, and the new Blazing Clown is... Yeah, Sweet Toot. He's played by Samoa Joe, which is a wrestler.
00:20:30
Speaker
Yeah, Samoa Joe. I think that you'd get a badass job at it. Fuck yeah. He was awesome. Mackie's partner is awesome, too. She was from... What was that? Brooklyn Nine-Nine?
00:20:42
Speaker
Yeah. I love Brooklyn Nine-Nine. It was
00:20:47
Speaker
probably good it's it's it's far easy to yeah It's crazy to have a character like Sweet Tooth and then have Will Arnett come in and voice it in a live action television show.
00:21:02
Speaker
Why is that weird? because you Because it's a live action television show. It's not animated or anything. So why not just have Samoa Joe do the talk? What's it sound like? the talk?
00:21:14
Speaker
Words are hard. Do the talk. Yeah, do the talk. so sharp So Joe has a very menacing oz ah voice.
00:21:25
Speaker
He has a very kind of deep menacing voice. Well, so does Bill Arnett. yeah He's also Lego Batman. Yeah, the best Batman of all time, in my opinion.
00:21:37
Speaker
now Bruce Greenwood.
00:21:42
Speaker
green daring mool Let me hold that for you while you drive.
00:21:55
Speaker
Can we talk about having such a talented dick that it will hold up your cell phone for you while you're driving? Talking about you, man. It doesn't have yeah Chris technician.
00:22:09
Speaker
What up, my dog tackle? Use Sue's toes to hold the phone. Like put it in a boot.
00:22:22
Speaker
Keep my wife's name out your motherfucking mouth.
00:22:28
Speaker
You're lucky to have that bitch. today How you really feeling over there, Britt?
00:22:37
Speaker
I just said it. I said it. Oh, good. Motherfucker. Good shit. Actually, sorry. i Let me say it like Brittany would say. I just said it.
00:22:50
Speaker
Bitch. I'm sorry. Actually, I'm not even sorry. That's how I talk to people. Only the people I care about the most.
00:23:02
Speaker
That's how talk, bitch. That's how talk, bitch. Like Jesse from Breaking Bad, bitch. but me It's Britney, bitch. It's Britney, bitch.
00:23:13
Speaker
It's Britney, bitch. I speak jive. case me Excuse me, sir. I speak jive. Yeah, miss, I speak jive. Such a weird fucking movie that has no reason making me laugh to this day.
00:23:28
Speaker
It's a great movie. You know, it's based on another movie that was totally serious. It's almost a shot-for-shot remake. It was called Zero Hour. And with the exclamation point and everything, that's why they called it airplane exclamation point.
00:23:46
Speaker
Oh, shit. Time full of facts, man. Trivia night with Michael every Thursday.
00:23:54
Speaker
ah Did you watch the show last night, Glick? Did you see the Spaceballs 2s coming? I seen that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had you guys on in the ah in the background for a little bit. I was um saving the world.
00:24:06
Speaker
You know, it's what I do. Not all heroes wear capes, but there was a zombie outbreak and I needed to take care of things, so I had you guys on in the background. and What?
00:24:18
Speaker
Are we playing Call of Duty? Yeah. You were playing Call of Duty without me? The fuck? I want a 1v1, you bitch. I don't know that we're friends on Call of Duty. do you Do you still play?
00:24:31
Speaker
um I haven't lately because Rick and them have had their like little... Warzone click. Oh, I haven't played with them. always have I haven't played with them. That's usually who I've played with, so I just gave up and let them do their thing.
00:24:46
Speaker
yeah Yeah, I haven't played with them in forever.
00:24:51
Speaker
Rick drives me crazy because he's so sweaty. Yeah, well, and he's like, he's so serious about the game. It's fucking hilarious. And he's at the bottom of the leaderboard.
00:25:02
Speaker
I'm like, bro. yeah right?
00:25:06
Speaker
but Yeah, Yeah. um So I had it all for a little bit. I did see that. Blaze and I were talking about that, was it last week or the week before, when they when they announced it.
00:25:20
Speaker
And I'm not a huge Mel Brooks fan, but I did like Spaceballs and I'm excited. That's interesting. What's not to like about Mel Brooks? It makes great flicks.
00:25:32
Speaker
and
00:25:35
Speaker
just don't like the guy. and Something about him. No, I don't know. There's just not a lot not a lot of movies, but I am excited for Spaceballs, too. That's one of those movies I remember growing up watching, and it had like dirty jokes and stuff like that in there. that yeah My favorite line of the movie is out of order?
00:25:51
Speaker
Fuck. and I don't know why, but it tickles me every single time. we weren' it may i Either of that or we ain't found shit
00:26:02
Speaker
so Yeah, we went to an old s school arcade yesterday and they had like the huge like alien thing and the kid. like My friend's son was like so scared of it and like didn't want to go through the door.
00:26:18
Speaker
Yeah. Fuck you, Moe Dog. but ah Raising a little bitch. Yeah, but we showed him the Well, he likes to watch scary videos, which makes no sense. like jump Like terrifying horror videos. He's only five, got turned six.
00:26:33
Speaker
That's not going to fuck him up at We showed him the movie, and yeah he likes it now, so it's cool. My kids grew up watching like movie horror movies. Oh, dude.
00:26:43
Speaker
I'm sick of giving me the horror movie back younger than was. Well, that's not a horror movie, but Mars Attack, the alien, is a huge-ass fucking statue thing. He was terrified of it. That was a dumb fucking movie. Like, you see no more?
00:26:58
Speaker
You
00:27:01
Speaker
one see no more alien? Yeah.
00:27:07
Speaker
What was that movie that had David Duchovny in it? and Wait.
00:27:17
Speaker
Oh, it's called out Evolution. Yeah, that movie I liked. I enjoyed the hell out of that movie. Oh, hell yeah. It was fun.
00:27:29
Speaker
That was ah right after he was in therapy for his sex addiction from doing that Californication show. Yeah, because it it had Julianne Moore in it and Sean William Scott, a.k.a. Stifler, and Orlando Jones.
00:27:46
Speaker
pat ethan sub I met Orlando Jones, his brother. He's a stand-up comedian, and he is not even a little bit funny. We were doing a show in New York, and man, he was flexing that Orlando Jones with my brother muscle the whole night, and I was like, man, quit telling people that. You're giving Orlando Jones a bad name because you're not funny.
00:28:09
Speaker
Also, that's just like you're trying too hard at that point, basically. and
00:28:18
Speaker
yeah I would never want to throw my lot in with someone else. I want to be known but on my own merit. and That's because I'm exactly related to somebody else. was just going to say, either be original or just don't.
00:28:30
Speaker
Exactly. but shit I don't understand people that just want to like be dragged along on somebody else's coattails. but but Johnny, Modog wants to know where the new recruits sign up at.
00:28:44
Speaker
He wants to join you. It's called the Nut Notes. yeah yeah At the rest stop. Shit. Look for the and apparently i and Apparently I'm their leader.
00:29:00
Speaker
so
00:29:03
Speaker
Look for the glick holes. Glick holes? What? Stay out of glick holes, Sergeant Modov. but
00:29:15
Speaker
Well, I can't masturbate to this. Goodbye.
00:29:23
Speaker
He's got to leave because in all actuality, he's going to go masturbate.
00:29:29
Speaker
But it's funny. I hope he does it in the stream because I think he can in the stream. No, think he's frozen. I think he just like turned off his power and now it's frozen and then he'll get back eventually.
00:29:42
Speaker
Real quick. We're just going to leave his stupid face up there. Since you guys were enjoying my misery on Wednesday night and taking screenshots of my stupid face. yeah but bonds beside You wanted to say something real quick.
00:29:57
Speaker
Sergeant, about what he was saying there. I actually got handed my father figure when he was actually in the service. He was in the Mountain Division. I actually got handed down his cut when he was in the military.
00:30:09
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's cool.
00:30:14
Speaker
that can so much service I don't even know.
00:30:19
Speaker
Hells yeah.
00:30:23
Speaker
I'm thinking I might. Oh, Blaze, oh, Blaze, where art thou? If your ears are on, come back up here, little buddy. I miss you. yeah Come on, Blaze. Yeah, Blaze.
00:30:38
Speaker
Blaze.
00:30:42
Speaker
What the fuck was that? ah Can we all hear that correctly? What the fuck? Yeah. That's my metal voice.
00:30:58
Speaker
Britney's over here getting possessed by the goddamn devil.
00:31:04
Speaker
oh Just now?
00:31:09
Speaker
Chani's like, all new recruits form up with Platoon Lot Lizards Section 69. Oh,
00:31:18
Speaker
i' hell yeah. yeah That sounds like a good fucking time, though. even That sounds like one weird-ass party at the end of the day.
00:31:34
Speaker
One weird-ass party.
00:31:40
Speaker
Just saying. You're a weird ass party. but i am a weird ass party,
Fantasy Football and Tattoos
00:31:47
Speaker
Brittany. You're not wrong.
00:31:50
Speaker
I'm a whole ass weird vibe. You're my bro. So am I. That's why we're family. You're my ninja. My ninja. That's what say.
00:32:02
Speaker
are we family? and don't like it. Can I unadopt you mean not like Can I unadopt you? Can I send you back from where you came from? like give you back Can I give you back to Rick? I know I'm way cooler than Rick. Thanks, Rick. you fuck I know way cooler than Rick.
00:32:26
Speaker
I don't even talk to him anymore. like I haven't talked to him in a hot minute. I haven't talked to him in a hot minute. used to We used to snap back and forth every day. I didn't talk to him in a hot minute. And then, like, the Sunday the sunday morning show is just kind of gone defunct. I got to kick that shit back in gear. and Well, once football comes back.
00:32:47
Speaker
Yeah. Which they said it on FanDuel. We know what happens when Brittany does the dudes at Vacation Babble's goal game. Fuck off. Then got smitted. Oh, yeah, true.
00:33:00
Speaker
then got so yeah send them off to meet with the angels. If it's tarantula, then hell yeah. Let's go. Nice. Oh, no. What the fuck were we just talking about?
00:33:15
Speaker
Oh, yeah. That's what I'm trying to be back. He just kind of. nice um are we just talking about oh yeah yeah that's what i'm jo be back he just kind ah popped out for a minute. You know, he drops in and out.
00:33:34
Speaker
But, um yeah, as far as football goes, yeah, fantasy football be, there you go. Angel's got the thumbs up for you. yeah That starts, it's on FanDuel now and everything. Yeah, they start on they start unlocking everything, I think, in end of July or early August. It already did.
00:33:55
Speaker
ah I think, or maybe it is, man I don't know. My friend was telling me about it earlier. every yeah i think esp I think ESPN has opened up. Wow. But you can't do anything with it other than just put your league together.
00:34:08
Speaker
You can't draft until ah September, I think it is. So. Yeah. We're just going to be sitting there. So I've got two leagues this year.
00:34:19
Speaker
I think I'm going to keep, we'll have that we'll have the network league and then I have my personal league. Well, I've been talking to a few people about it because they're into it as well.
00:34:32
Speaker
I've just been telling everybody about the network. Oh, look at you go. Oh, come on, Johnny. This isn't your first time here. We got echoes. Fucking rookie mistake, bro. I've heard it.
00:34:44
Speaker
oh come on johnny john this isn't your first time we got echo fucking rookie as prepared
00:34:56
Speaker
jeez i have no idea that's a good question where are you john were you gonna go on your end advantage we still have feedback on your hands are we not back up just like oh no we're good we're good we're good we're good yeah yeah
00:35:22
Speaker
right Every time I see Johnny Bonds working on something, it makes me feel like I have to do something. Seriously, you need the Pornhub link for me. Oh, my God. you have johnny You're going to have to pay for that, my dog.
00:35:48
Speaker
I'm surprised my brother has nothing to say about that.
00:35:54
Speaker
I check where just like let it pass. I'm just going to let it simmer for a few. I'm going to let it simmer for a few and then out and then a little bit later I'll bring it back up.
00:36:13
Speaker
Did you just say what's up stoners? yeah i Yeah, like what's up stoners? Like you and Johnny Bonds. Us because of the stoners?
00:36:26
Speaker
We're high. no it's' It's because I'm going to throw stones at you.
00:36:33
Speaker
I'm so small. i can duck, dive, dodge, dodge, whatever. Words are hard, huh? What is it? How do they say and i fall was like i dog yeah that it You can dodge a wrench. You can dodge anything.
00:36:52
Speaker
Yeah.
00:36:55
Speaker
yeah He's not opposed to paying for it.
00:37:00
Speaker
Wait, what? All right, Angel. Come on, girl.
00:37:16
Speaker
Oh, Lord have mercy. No, I'm done. i'm done I'm done. You goddamn degenerate. MoDog is right. You guys are a bunch of fucking degenerates.
00:37:27
Speaker
This is your motherfucking show. But no last week we found out it was Blaze's. Blaze said he was... ah Yeah, man. Blaze is driving the ship tonight, but where's he? Blaze, where are you at, man?
00:37:44
Speaker
Come on, bro. In there, for real. Come on, it ain't that serious. I was like, oh shit, I don't have to drive this ship tonight. I can sit back and be one of the one of the normal people.
00:37:58
Speaker
mean
00:38:02
Speaker
No, I'm fucking here.
00:38:06
Speaker
Britney's small enough.
00:38:09
Speaker
I just have to Britney's going to bob when should have weaved. Hello?
00:38:17
Speaker
ah just have to go
00:38:22
Speaker
brittany's gonna bob when she shouldve we you blow
00:38:27
Speaker
and get taken out.
00:38:32
Speaker
What you got going on, man? How you been lately, Johnny Bongs?
00:38:37
Speaker
Oh, shit. I've been fucking deep in the papers here getting shit done.
00:38:43
Speaker
Hell yeah. You getting close to getting a practice gun and stuff like that yet? Yeah. I've been doing a little bit studying on how, ah well,
00:38:55
Speaker
how that works differentiated from a pen to paper. So I know it's a little bit of a different medium. So now I'm starting to study how that actually works differentiated from paper.
00:39:06
Speaker
Hell yeah, dude. I'm either going to... Last thing that you just said? I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. i was trying to call up police. What are you doing? Oh, ah studying how i like ah tattoo gum work differentiated from like the pen to paper.
00:39:21
Speaker
Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. yeah Do that. I've done the same thing. I've been practicing. My bad, Brittany. I had to stop the whole show just for you so that you could we you could stay on point with the conversation. I'm sorry I didn't pause the show.
00:39:37
Speaker
Good. Be sorry. um My bad. My bad, bro. It is your bad. I'm glad you understand that this is my show.
00:39:53
Speaker
I have this printer thing that has like Are you projecting, Moe Dog? Is that what you need, my friend? I'm going to need you to do that move again, but slow. Alright, hit up our Patreon and then I'll do it. Moe, I have this printer thing. Right, Moe Dog?
00:40:14
Speaker
hu
00:40:18
Speaker
mo i really like that again right mo dog but What is that? it's ah It's a stencil printer like for tattoos. You know how like you make stencils? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so bunch of paper.
00:40:36
Speaker
You pop it open. You put the paper in there. You hook your phone up to it. You can put anything on it and it prints out. And then it's a stencil for your skin before tattoo.
00:40:49
Speaker
nice. That's cool. cool yeah Hell yeah. yeah I used look it up to help.
00:41:04
Speaker
I like to go on freehand though. And I have a bunch of fake skin that I've been practicing on. And then I practice on myself sometimes too. Yeah, you don't do a very good job because then they just wipe off.
00:41:17
Speaker
just
00:41:22
Speaker
I don't expect you to remember that, Brittany. That's what you're talking No, talking about your tattoos. cause You were doing a tattoo on your foot or something one night and you were like, oh, fuck, it just wiped off. No, it's because they wipe off because of well now ah because they they wipe on rather
00:41:51
Speaker
I walk barefoot a lot, and then I wear my shoes barefoot a lot, too, and then wear work boots, so they rub off sort of some of them. just fix them.
00:42:04
Speaker
yeah My toes and are tattooed. oh tella ah Brittany, you can hang from trees with those fucking toes. You have big, beaten, long toes. I know. have long-ass motherfucking toes.
00:42:19
Speaker
I have to have the ground every time I walk.
00:42:24
Speaker
Well, I guess I'd be at low five. yeah Yeah. Whatever briy you want to call it. It's Brittany's world. Whatever you want to call it, we're just going to go with it. I got finger toes, man.
00:42:38
Speaker
Brittany, give me a mouth more.
00:42:42
Speaker
Give me a Mount Rushmore of wrestlers. Snickers. oh yeah Chicken and waffles. that Weed. ah many do I need? Five? No, just four. man Yeah, tell me your top three.
00:42:59
Speaker
Mount Rushmore fucks. It's Britney's world. We're just living at it at the end of the day, ladies and gentlemen. that That's reassurance, I think.
00:43:12
Speaker
Maybe. Hey, Johnny, just Jesus take the wheel, man. Just Lord help us all, Johnny. That's just the one that says, though. Holy shit. May the best thing win, I guess.
00:43:30
Speaker
Chris Technician, I love you, bro. Thank you for asking. Can you grab me a six-pack of Corona Lite and a lemon and a lime? That'd be awesome. Good looking out, brother. I appreciate you. He's kicked.
00:43:43
Speaker
Guess what job he was there for that? Oh, fuck. Those three dudes the same time. With one foot? Oh, wait.
00:43:55
Speaker
um wait Okay, I'm going to save something away. Never mind. Your response was he was there for that? That's boring. Holy shit. it's not no that's worry all each chair
00:44:14
Speaker
So many other responses you could have come up with. So many. And you're like, oh, shit. a bus Oh, shit. Modog, you were in that line? Fuck, I didn't know that.
00:44:24
Speaker
That's not what I meant. I meant he was there for that story about the foot job thing. um I'm sorry that they're taking the fans the fans away at the foot job palace.
00:44:37
Speaker
Holy shit. I don't know if I said it live or not. That's the thing. and
00:44:45
Speaker
but this one We've already heard enough stories that this probably is not going to surprise us if you have said it live or not. At the end of the day, you've told us enough goddamn stories that we're going go, yep, it adds up.
00:44:57
Speaker
Sounds about right for her. but me They don't know everything. You, between our like group chat and everything, you all know more.
00:45:09
Speaker
We did a three-hour show, Bernie. we We learned a lot.
00:45:15
Speaker
Holy hell.
00:45:23
Speaker
Hold on a minute. Yeah, you know what? I wasn't going let that one I wasn't going to let that one go. We're not going to slide past that.
00:45:34
Speaker
Excuse me?
00:45:39
Speaker
I'm like sweating now. This is not good. Oh, shit. What do you mean this is great?
00:45:48
Speaker
I'm glad y'all are enjoying it. Oh, my goodness. I don't care. My feelings aren't hurt. You got guys obviously realize right now I don't give a fuck.
00:45:59
Speaker
you You're the man, Chris Technician. I appreciate you, brother. Always looking out for me before you go to Walmart. Does he live near you? No, he just always asks me if I need it.
00:46:10
Speaker
No, he lives out in New Mexico. But i would show myself I would shit myself if one day I got a knock on the door and it was Chris Technician like, hey man, I got your beer. That would be amazing.
00:46:23
Speaker
But that would actually be really cool too because I've known Chris Technician for for so long. He's one of my, as I've told you guys before, he's one of he's the OG of OGs. He's been with me since Periscope. so i mean that's over 10 years now like chris has been been in my chat so he's a good dude man i do like that guy he's a very loyal supporter man um know would be not from what i've noticed between on here and on jedi and shamans who's been i haven't i don't think i've ever like met him that know
00:46:59
Speaker
the Chris comes up every every once in a while. He'll pop up on the panel on a Saturday night. He'll pop in here and be like, what? As soon as I figure out how to how to work this goddamn machine, Chris, and i and I get some stuff ordered, I'll get your shirt sent out to you, buddy.
00:47:15
Speaker
I just got to get shit cleared out of my house. And once that shit's cleared out of my house, and then I'll have room to move and work and figure things out. It can't be that hard. I'm sure. What is it? a Like a screen printing thing?
00:47:27
Speaker
it's so Yeah, I got a heat press. I can do cups and shirts and I think hats on it. I could teach you how to do that. used to do that in high school. But then you would know where I live.
00:47:39
Speaker
That's gross.
00:47:41
Speaker
True. I want that either. yeah I don't want it. yeah I don't want you to bring that. I don't. I don't want you to bring that Baltimore funk to my house. I'm not from Baltimore. i just live near Baltimore. I'm Pennsylvania now, too. I'm not going to get any fucking better at the end of day. I was living down there right when the scary shit happened.
00:48:10
Speaker
What scary shit? It's scary shit happens down there every day. small People decide to riot more than usuals. Oh, no. No. Literally, they're... They're shooting constantly.
00:48:28
Speaker
Helicopters flying around. Everybody, good and solid. Escaped the area. Everybody's still just walking around like it's normal. How many times did you tell me you don't have to go inside? You're white. You're not committing any crimes.
00:48:43
Speaker
but um Every single time. um A white privilege girl. I'm a white blonde chick with green eyes. like i I'm okay. me it might be But then you know, Baltimore has like everybody rolling around on their like dirt bikes and shit.
00:49:02
Speaker
ATVs. They do that New York. Anytime shit goes down, they're just like
00:49:12
Speaker
different Y'all got Wawa's. We got 7-Eleven's. but that We have 7-Eleven's too. We have Sheetz. What? we got Yeah, we got Sheetz. We got 7-Eleven Speedways.
00:49:24
Speaker
Well, yeah, Sheetz is from Pennsylvania. but Yeah, we got Sheetz here. We got Wawa coming to Ohio too. Wawa's more like healthy Sheetz. Sheetz more like fatty fried shit.
00:49:37
Speaker
I ain't mad at Sheets. i ain't mad at Sheets. They got good food. Sheets hooked me up with everything I needed during my moving travels. I worked at Sheets for a couple years. and i's I tell you what, Sheets, y'all Sheets has got some fantastic goddamn milkshakes. If you got Sheets in your area, go get a milkshake.
00:49:55
Speaker
They got some good milkshakes. ah Yeah, they got good drinks in general. I will say was going to say, they got they got really good food and it's made to order. So it's not something that's that's been sitting under a heat lamp. for you know It's not like when you go into a gas station and get like a burrito out of out of the box. Or a roller dog.
00:50:13
Speaker
Yeah. yeah Or a roller dog, man. Nothing wrong with a roller dog. I'm not shitting on the roller dogs, guys, because I'll eat the hell out of them.
00:50:23
Speaker
Hell yeah. It'll give you a iron and gut right there. I used to. Put meat on your bones, Brittany. You go get you some roller dogs. I'll put some meat on your bones.
00:50:36
Speaker
just saying. no I eat some dogs, but not no roller dogs. That's been under a heat lane. You eat dogs? um I like corn dogs.
00:50:50
Speaker
I eat food, and I'm tired of people telling me to fucking eat food and gain weight. I fucking eat. You know what? know I know you eat food because but i have no doubt in my mind that, dude, my sisters are like that. My dad's like that.
00:51:04
Speaker
They can fucking eat and eat. My buddy Kevin. when we when we were When we were younger, that son of a bitch would put away a large fucking pizza by himself. And he was skinny as a rail. And then my ass wouldn't even think about putting eating ah eatingin two slices of pizza and I gained 10 pounds.
00:51:19
Speaker
I mean, I lost ah did lose like 25 pounds from after losing my medicine. you Trying to get it back.
Community Support and Scandalous Tales
00:51:28
Speaker
and just Just put us on the... Hyperthyroidism.
00:51:33
Speaker
Yeah. yeah Just put us on the speaker system there in the shop, Angel.
00:51:41
Speaker
Yeah, do that. my yeah my my The local vape shop I go to, they used to put our shows up on their TV in the vape shop. They would play the replays and stuff.
00:51:51
Speaker
And it was crazy because I walked in there one day and I was in started talking to the guy I was like, what the fuck am I hearing my voice? And he was like, we always have your shows on, man. I'm like, hell yeah, guys. Appreciate the support. That's what's up.
00:52:05
Speaker
so Yeah, there's like some of my coworkers have been coming on here and supporting. What up, motherfuckers? And then my ex, he's not too happy. Oh, is that that little soft bitch that got all butthurt because we were making fun of you?
00:52:24
Speaker
a Probably. Probably. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They make fun of you. Wah, you fucking bitch. I couldn't listen to them making fun of you. I'm like, if I can fucking handle it, I'm pretty sure you can. oh it's good thing It's a good thing he's your ex. There's a reason why he's your ex.
00:52:45
Speaker
Exactly. i mean... Well, there's multiple reasons. Yeah, because Brittany doesn't pick on us. you know Yeah, right.
00:52:56
Speaker
and I mean, I've seen people on YouTube do far worse for far less. Shit. Exactly. yeah but I am the sweetest person ever to you, Glick.
00:53:08
Speaker
You better stop your fucking line. You better stop your fucking line. but You fucking bitch. I'm still trying to figure out.
00:53:18
Speaker
Oh, shit.
00:53:21
Speaker
shit
00:53:26
Speaker
shit
00:53:30
Speaker
I have a feeling I'm going to get a text coming in here shortly because of that last conversation.
00:53:39
Speaker
I don't know. I'm over it. I just don't understand why I have to explain myself over and over again that it's not going to work out. You don't.
00:53:52
Speaker
Just tell them you're transitioning to a man. Yeah.
00:53:57
Speaker
Thing is, good and happy, man.
00:54:06
Speaker
Not to mention, I can't remember. If I already said something, I most likely won't remember what I said a second time. That's because I spoke too much. Even a second later, somebody would be like, wait, I didn't hear you. Oh, that's okay, because I don't remember what I just said anyway.
00:54:23
Speaker
It was just a way to call, though. Brittany will say something five minutes later completely forget about it. so
00:54:32
Speaker
yeah You're not wrong. Wait, did I say that live or yeah was that in the group chat? I don't know. well I'm confused. you Yeah, exactly. Anyway, did I say that to you or where there when there where is Where there is a will, there is a way, Angel.
00:54:51
Speaker
I believe in you and I think yeah you can get into the manager. Pick the lock. yes no Kick the door down. Ninja kicked out.
00:55:04
Speaker
Shit.
00:55:13
Speaker
look at these fucking bruises from work. Jesus Christ, Brittany. What the fuck are you doing? Are you like in Fight Club or something? The first rule about Fight Club? Fuck.
00:55:26
Speaker
You don't talk about Fight Club. Those are fucking wicked bruises. What do you i thought what the hell? What's factory work, man? I don't know. I know a lot of people that work in factories and they don't look like that.
00:55:42
Speaker
Well, we've been doing this like new shit that yeah they don't know what the fuck they're doing. I figured out a new way to implement a better way that is like efficient and faster so they finally fucking listened to me finally and
00:56:05
Speaker
what's up what's up man hey shaman chill chill yeah i don't know if your way is quick and efficient or not because you you you are you are starting to look like a fucking dalmatian yeah because other fucks sorry sorry my job pisses me off like i do not get paid enough for this bullshit how you really feeling over there mk what's going on with you the tiniest chicken there and i'm doing like the heaviest fucking work
00:56:43
Speaker
you know who says shit like that the laziest motherfucker at the job no no that's all of them ask all of them. There's literally a man that just stands there to put papers in the box while I'm over here stacking tie rods, stacks and stacks of tie rods and like metal beams and shit like that. Nah.
00:57:06
Speaker
so You know what? why don't you Why don't you just be better and then maybe you'll get promoted to the paper job. I did get better. the one that came up. I did. And I did on Thursday. I'm hearing lot of I. I'm hearing a lot of I, I, I. There's no I in Yeah.
00:57:21
Speaker
Well, no. The corporate view even then came up to me and asked me and for my input on the whole situation because it did make it easier. Corporate came to me. The papers have sharp edges, though. He has to be careful.
00:57:37
Speaker
He can get a serious paper cut. What the fuck ever, Sean? You can joke.
00:57:43
Speaker
You don't understand the hidden dangers of his position. mr If Brittany has no words to use, she's just... He's getting paper cuts and I'm getting chunks out of my fingers.
00:58:02
Speaker
black That's okay. They're
00:58:05
Speaker
but but Yeah, because of all the metal and stuff. And like metal shards stuck in my hands and whatnot. It builds character, Brittany. It builds character. Yeah, I mean, I like hard work, don't get me wrong, but like finally they listened to my idea to make it easier, and it definitely did.
00:58:23
Speaker
Well, congratulations. I'm glad they finally listened to you. I just don't like the fact that the paper dude gets paid the same amount that I get paid. Kick his ass! kick his as Nah, he's a nice guy.
00:58:38
Speaker
Take him outside and take ah take a ball-bean hammer to his to his hand, and then he can't do his job. Nah. Let's see slice some paper and boxes now with your hand broken, you little bitch.
00:58:52
Speaker
No, a lot of people are like literally about to try because of all the bullshit. Sarge is in the building. What's going on? Here we go. ah ah hip she there Look at you with your cool glasses. Oh my gosh.
00:59:09
Speaker
I feel like I should go put my sunglasses on. My eyes are recuperating from last night. and like yeah Johnny Bonds looks all dapper. You look all cool.
00:59:25
Speaker
I feel like I got to do something now. Brittany was talking about all these bruises from work. I was just going to ask see your knee. but My Brittany? yeah me Oh, my knees are fucked.
00:59:38
Speaker
and Did you see my... I was just wondering if that's where all the places were. Oh, yeah, mostly. no oh yeah No, I get it.
00:59:48
Speaker
Okay. So what's going on, you fucker? On her knees, handling rods all day long. a Happy Saturday, you bastards.
01:00:00
Speaker
oh god Good to see you, brother. Good to see you, Johnny. i feel I feel like I need to get my uniform back on and shit. and It's okay to stay, I guess. shit We enlist into the Johnny Bong's army. peter It's an army or a company? The Bong Brigade.
01:00:25
Speaker
Bong Brigade. I love that. When you're ready to march down the street, make people think something's about to happen. You can totally start to keep it up, Johnny. Oh my gosh, Johnny. The bo thing that you, Blaze, and I were talking about.
01:00:40
Speaker
Yeah. Footchop International. Oh, fuck yeah, thank you. We'll talk about that later. But yeah, Footchop International. That's a whole other chapter.
01:00:56
Speaker
Brittany's just having a conversation with herself over there, ladies ladies and gentlemen. She's just in her own world. oh good no i will say I will tell you all the story. In ninth grade, intro to chemistry and physics, we were three of us girls were up on top of like you know the black top like science tables.
01:01:18
Speaker
And there was a guy on the stool and we gave him a switch off. You told us this on the on the... Yeah, this was a live story. Okay, well, here it is again. love story time Brittany. I'm going to send him the link. I'm going to send him the link right now.
01:01:37
Speaker
okay yeah i shares his a foot job in chemistry totally bunch of slowers but a bunch of slower i'm literally gonna send him the link right now
01:01:55
Speaker
and who went like His wife might not like it. Who?
01:02:02
Speaker
The guy you gave the foot job to? Yeah. That would be awesome if he came up here. and like Don't forget you told us that it wasn't that big. so Tell his wife to give him more foot job.
01:02:17
Speaker
You might not want to share that with him. Yeah, well i'll tell he knows. He's part Asian. He's already Asian. He's Alaskan. He's married with a hot ass chick, so he's good.
01:02:33
Speaker
He's half Asian. what I live in Alaska. Oh, well that explains it. It's cold up there, man. ah shrink it shrink it right Shrinkage, Shrinkage, man.
01:02:49
Speaker
Oh, God. Maybe I should not, like, get over here. I'm scared now. You probably should. You have to think about it. You probably should. I was going to say, Brittany, you already know what's going to happen. Is it your first time here, Brittany? Are you a rookie? I'm not scared.
01:03:06
Speaker
Whatever. I'm not afraid what's going to happen. did Did I hear you say that ah that guy got mad that night we were all joking around and roasting you? Hmm. Not roasting you, but like joking around with it.
01:03:19
Speaker
and He's probably watching right now, to be honest. I mean, we were just joking around. Yeah, fucker. Another one of her exes got mad. It was that Wednesday night show where where Michael and I was really really just busting her balls, something fierce.
01:03:34
Speaker
and And he was like, i can't listen to that shit. They're way too hard on you. I was like, what the fuck? like I go right back at him. i was like, if you stayed on a little bit longer, you would have heard me fucking them up too.
01:03:47
Speaker
You know what, man? i Seriously, get like yeah I give you major props for fucking hanging way you do, man.
01:03:54
Speaker
Brittany came right out the gate. for The first time she came on the show, man, she came right out the gate swinging. And I was like, okay, I don't know. i like I'm going i'm gonna i'm goingnna tread lightly.
01:04:07
Speaker
But then she started swinging for the fences. I was like, nah, fuck this. Now it's game on, bitch. We don't even each other like that. If you're coming at me like that, okay, it's on now. Yeah, know.
01:04:22
Speaker
When you've done construction, like, my like your whole life? incredible And worked in the kitchen and everything. yeah I grew up in Thunderdome and I've been doing construction my whole life. So it's like, my like I'm quick with it. i I'm cool. I love people that can take it because, like, well but like my new job.
01:04:43
Speaker
they were They were giving me, like, my first day there, I had to sign all the, you know, take all the stupid online courses and sign all the paperwork. and whole thing My boss was like bos is like, this one's for but ah harassment, bullying, and sexual harassment. Just want to let you know, all three of the above are going to happen to you here.
01:05:00
Speaker
And I was like, as long as you guys can take it, as long as you give it, it's game on. you know They're going happen. We just need you to sign off here acknowledging, saying you know it's going to happen. You can't sue.
01:05:18
Speaker
that. like They're like, you don't have to read it. It is just what it is. It is what it is. but Don't be a little bit about it. I worked at a nursing home.
01:05:30
Speaker
I worked at a nursing home, so if they tried starting that shit there... oh yeah. Nursing homes are rough. Oh, fuck. You start with your mustache, too.
01:05:42
Speaker
Those old ladies were probably like, hey, let me rob it. all so no You go back and get your Jell-O, Miss Butterworth.
01:05:53
Speaker
yeah Not Jell-O time yet. I like your mustache, young man.
01:06:04
Speaker
got some extra Viagra if you need some. if you need sorry
01:06:15
Speaker
not um John, if you if you start giving fucking grandmas fucking mustache rides, I'm out, dude. Nine out of ten grandmas approved. umal She's like, I'm going to knit you something special, son.
01:06:38
Speaker
I like go for milk, not guilt. There's a difference.
01:06:44
Speaker
What if she never had any? oh my God. in our nursing home Them ladies in the nursing homes need loving, too, there, Johnny.
01:06:58
Speaker
don't be don't be shy Don't be stingy with that dick. Don't be stingy with the dick. Hey, man. hey man They were written in wheelchairs all the time. They got really strong hands, man. Who the fuck are you?
01:07:11
Speaker
They got arthritis. Fucking Brittany. They can take their teeth out. Come here, i want to give you a handjob. Yeah, Brittany, they can take their teeth out, dude. You can get a gum job. They can take their teeth out. Johnny, it might have a great business for you, man.
01:07:29
Speaker
Yeah, you got to be careful when the Alzheimer's kicks in.
01:07:36
Speaker
see they won Every time is like a first blowjob for them, man. yeah not Exactly. that's Yeah, unless it kicks in during. Who the fuck is?
01:07:49
Speaker
Eh, well, it'll be alright. Unless it kicks in during.
01:07:55
Speaker
Just put a pillow over their face. It'll be fine, man. That just means they don't they won't remember the donkey punch from five minutes earlier, man. exactly that's three what a back why does the back of my head fucking hurt all the time so bad yeah i was good i was gonna say you know how much weird shit you could do with somebody had his alzheimer's because they won't remember the next day i mean i've always wanted to try to this yeah again i mean yeah let's do that
01:08:30
Speaker
Or it's like the 51st Gates type of thing. Oh, fuck. 51st gangbangs. fuck
01:08:47
Speaker
always in such a good mood, That's a rookie number, man. Every time, even the first time. That's a rookie number. Brittany said shit. That was last weekend, man.
01:08:59
Speaker
Today before we get on the show. Brittany said that was just Tuesday. Fuck. who Taco Tuesday. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. That was stupid. Saturdays are not good.
01:09:13
Speaker
how many can it fucking the ba but oh are stupid saturdays are yeah I hate you guys so much. Brittany, what did you do on Saturdays before you found this whole thing?
01:09:33
Speaker
Orgies. Recuperate from Friday? Orgies, recuperate from Friday. Whatever. it's all It's basically the same thing at the end day.
01:09:47
Speaker
She said, I'm a pro. I don't need to fucking recuperate. I'm just time. but i I just moved here, so basically I'm just like been moving. I just moved here. got a lot of work to do, guys. A lot of news bought a new faces are out here.
01:10:07
Speaker
I got away from that bitch that was complaining about y'all bitching at me. the Being mean to me.
01:10:19
Speaker
yeah me one here Or as would say. but
01:10:30
Speaker
and
01:10:35
Speaker
so booker be brittanney said i don i don't swallow i gargle motherfucker
01:10:42
Speaker
but Now he's going to text you and say, why are they making fun of me? No, that's what I was saying to MoDog. I was like, watch. Or no, I don't know who I said it to you. was saying it to whoever was listening. was like, watch. I'm going to get a text here soon. I told you, Sarge. I told you, Sarge. She's just in her own world over there. This is Brittany's world, baby. We're just living it in. It's just rented time, man.
01:11:07
Speaker
Really?
01:11:12
Speaker
What up, Michael? You made it safe. we good Breaking up is hard to do, they say, unless you're breaking up with an Alzheimer's patient or a blackout drunk.
01:11:24
Speaker
True. right well that's True that. This is true. you True story. kind or youre Or you're in the bong brigade, because that's hard, too. Yeah.
01:11:35
Speaker
to yeah Bring in the hamster wheel. Can you repeat that? Repeat the question.
01:11:47
Speaker
Mary Bang on Alive.
01:11:51
Speaker
I talking about that at work, too. Some of them were laughing about our shits with like the Golden Girls and everything. We started playing it at work the other day.
01:12:03
Speaker
yeah See what I do? a start shit.
01:12:08
Speaker
You got to do what you're best at, man.
01:12:14
Speaker
Right? You got to do what you're best at. Being stupid. Michael, how are your patients doing? Everybody home and secure and safe and sound and happy? No, i had to um I had to go to Brother Cowboy's place.
01:12:25
Speaker
He's at a spiker rally this weekend. He couldn't take the dogs. I'm letting his doggies out real quick. but um And she is waiting in the truck, sir, with her foot. Up above.
01:12:37
Speaker
Yeah, I feel really bad for her. She's got don't know what the fuck happened her out there, but she got her surgery wound infected. And it looks fucking funky. oh yeah But it doesn't smell, so it's not bad.
01:12:51
Speaker
That's good, at least. It doesn't smell. That's crucial. I'm glad you checked. When your infection stinks, that's bad. Yeah, that's not good. Necrosis.
01:13:04
Speaker
Britney, let you know. can help her out with foot stuff, man. yeah Sparty? like Here we go. I said brity Britney can help her out with all the foot stuff, man.
01:13:17
Speaker
oh god She's a professional. Not my suit. We'll have some good nurse friends. I will never let that bitch near my suit.
01:13:28
Speaker
Pretty good nurse friends. They know what they're doing. And I asked one of them about, like, should she be washing it or anything? because The doctor told her, don't wash it. The surgeon said, don't get know wet at all.
01:13:41
Speaker
And then after it got infected, they told her to start, out like, just rinsing it down with saline solution. And I'm like, what the fuck? Salty water? How's that going to help?
01:13:52
Speaker
next ah Salty water does help. It does help. I'm boarding with a doctor. Sure, I'm not a doctor. I know that. But I asked my nurse friend, solution is saliva the same thing? Can I lick her toes or what?
01:14:05
Speaker
And Sue's like, shut up. Whatever you're into. She hates feet. Between that and then hydrogen peroxide polluted with water. warm No hydrogen peroxide in an infection.
01:14:23
Speaker
It sloughs off and flakes out the good skin. I don't know if you knew that or not. I know that's why I said diluted. no you don't do it at all. She was told by the doctor for the doctor to do that shit. She goes to her doctor again on Monday.
01:14:38
Speaker
so As long as her foot stays attached between now Monday, I've done my job. There you go. Just cut her foot off. She'll be fine. We can get her a peg leg and she can be a pirate. First off, I told her how about the per this infection is bullshit. She needs to heal up so she go back to taking care of me, not this time taking care of her shit. I am barely able to take care of myself, let alone two patients now.
01:15:02
Speaker
Yeah. You got this, Michael. I believe in you. I have faith in you, brother. It's a labor love. You need These bitches are worth love I like that. That's cute. These bitches.
01:15:14
Speaker
These bitches are with me. My mom and my gal. I love them both. I love these bitches. And we know that you do. Everybody knows. I knew you'd get that Blake. Nice.
01:15:28
Speaker
Well played, sir. Well played. yeah
01:15:34
Speaker
may well well played sir well played of course I was driving and careening all over the road. I'm trying to get wedding addresses and shit and put them in my shit while I'm driving.
01:15:46
Speaker
but Not enough hours in a day. And this motherfucker does not have AC. I'm sweating like a fucking hooker in church. oh It's 2025. How do you not have an AC? Come on, cowboy. Get your shit together.
01:15:59
Speaker
Motherfucker. Living like the Amish. Like the Amish. Living in an Amish.
01:16:09
Speaker
My grandpa's looking at me so upset. He said, you said you're sweating like a hooker in church. I said, I feel that.
01:16:20
Speaker
Your grandpa's looking at you. He's in the basement with you. No, he's in heaven. She's got him tied up in the corner. Oh, shit. I didn't know he was dead. Fuck. now he's he's certain he he's look yeah He's not looking at you in disappointment because you're a slur. He's looking at you in disappointment because you got him tied up in the corner, you weirdo.
01:16:41
Speaker
That's what she said, Dog. He said, get tattoos, you smoke weed, and him he said and we good tattoo but we like You're going to hell. Brittany, you're going to hell.
01:16:57
Speaker
Brittany, you're going to hell with the rest of us. You don't go to heaven for the weather, you go to hell for the company.
01:17:05
Speaker
Yep. You disappointed Grandpa when you were like, what, six? Probably. Disappointed her Grandpa when she started taking flying lessons from her drunk uncle.
01:17:21
Speaker
I'll get die
01:17:28
Speaker
um we just like my grandpa did. I'll get to die like my grandpa did in his sleep, not screaming like all the passengers.
01:17:40
Speaker
and they Old joke, old joke. I mean, my uncle how had been stabbed like seven different times in the town that I was raised in.
01:17:53
Speaker
Different areas. He was dead before I was born. Drunk pilot hit the house flying the plane one time. He would take my grandpa's airplane out in the middle of the night with a six pack. You think that would have killed him?
01:18:07
Speaker
No. no He actually died he actually actually died of ah infection from a
01:18:14
Speaker
Is your grandfather Benny Tessaverde? Wait, what? No, it was my uncle that died from that.
01:18:25
Speaker
oh My uncle took my grandpa's airplane out. He hit the house one time. He also landed the airplane on the roof one time. crashy Yeah, he was landing the airplane and like sort of hit the wheel on the roof and took the corner off.
01:18:42
Speaker
Yeah. We're going to call it a successful roof landing. Did he have what? A sack full of presents. Sure.
01:18:54
Speaker
Are you calling him Santa? Was he playing Santa? Maybe. Probably was in his mind. Brittany's from a weird inbred Alabama family. Excuse the fuck out of me. don't ask a lot of questions. shoot Her We don't sound Alabama.
01:19:17
Speaker
We listen. We do good. I've worked on my accent very much so because people people pick on my accent, so I have worked on it very hard. yeah Yeah, that's what they pick on about you. It's your accent.
01:19:32
Speaker
Nothing else, Brittany. She's so hard. Oh, Brittany.
01:19:39
Speaker
oh brit but What's that accent you're trying so hard to hide? That's people West Virginia, I say. Well, it's like it's between Georgia, Tennessee, North Carolina, and Alabama.
01:19:51
Speaker
First off, that was rhetorical. That was Hannibal fucking Lecker. don't give a fuck. I'm going to answer anyways. Yeah, Michael, welcome to Britney's world, bitch.
01:20:02
Speaker
Bitch. Bitch.
01:20:07
Speaker
she dont no now you know ninja Smoke weed every day. are we just quoting rap lyrics over Yeah, I kind of do want to smoke a little bit. We should take a break here shortly.
01:20:23
Speaker
Have you ever heard the mashup of Biggie Smalls and the hardest working man in the show business, ah James Brown? No, but I got to want to. well that kill all that Pull that shit up, Glick.
01:20:40
Speaker
Yeah, pull that. We can't pull it on Yeah, if we wouldn't get copyrighted like a motherfucker, trust me, I would. Oh, you think you would on that?
01:20:52
Speaker
think You think you'd get strike? iwood Oh, yeah. Well, we might not get a strike, but we'll definitely get we'll we'll definitely get our audio muted on YouTube, and they'll definitely be like, hey, dumbass, parts yeah Parts of your show is blah, blah. Dude, is you got two. You got James Brown and and and Biggie Smalls. Yeah. Names and music. Yeah.
01:21:12
Speaker
Good point. ah But, but, well, I guess I'll have to look. I'll have to look at it. I'll have to look at it and see how it's done. I mean, I think you should put being a pussy and just try it, man.
01:21:23
Speaker
I think you should fucking fight me. How's that sound, old man? Okay. um day it's been It's been a minute, man. like I could use a good fight, man. Gets the blood running. Actually, i like wow or maybe I've got like four, maybe five bites left in me in my life, and I and don't want to waste one i like on you. i like I like you too much, man. Oh, thanks. thanks um didn need I'm going to need them for when shit really goes down, not just to fuck around. when When Brittany's defender comes for you.
01:21:53
Speaker
flash you get that text yet, Brittany? Although, although, I do know how to describe Moodle. I can get a box of Crayolas and Moodle will be... Hey, dude. It's like an egg. What's your favorite color? Purple. Purple. I'm going to get on. I already knew what he was going to say. Why is it purple?
01:22:16
Speaker
like like why is it scar Like Skittles, or not Skittles, Starburst has the all pink. I'm going to get an all purple box. going to go, Moe Dogg, look what I got for you. Nice. Make sure it's got the sharpener on the side of the box, man.
01:22:33
Speaker
Yeah, I got you. i got you I got you, bro. I like to write a fine print, man. good I got lots of friends that were mar or that are Marines. I know how to take care of you guys. I know how to treat you right. Never met a Marine I didn't like. ah sam I've met one Marine I'm like iffy on.
01:22:52
Speaker
Just one? it's It's usually way more than that, man. No, I usually get along with them very well. Actually, I was trying to... Yeah, we haven't actually been able to piss people off pretty easily.
01:23:06
Speaker
I wasn't able to join the Marines because of medical issues and the Army as well. Calm down, G.I. Ching. Warm enough for the Air Force. deal with With child.
01:23:19
Speaker
I'm not going to say it. Is that what you said? I thought maybe it was because they didn't have boots that big in the female size.
01:23:34
Speaker
They might not. she but You should have joined the Navy with some fucking flippers. You could have joined the Navy with them flippers.
01:23:45
Speaker
Holy fuck. I know. I thought about that. I'm just saying. You ever hear the old joke about the Marine recruit and the Airman recruit in the bathroom and a mixer?
Military Humor and Church Camp Stories
01:23:59
Speaker
No. Both take a piss. Both take a piss. The Airman's still there. The Marine starts to walk out the door. The Airman says, hey, aren't you going your hands? In the Air Force, they teach us to wash our hands after we piss.
01:24:13
Speaker
The Marines says, well, in the Marines, they teach us not to piss on our fucking hands. Not to piss on our
01:24:20
Speaker
hands? Well, you know. Sometimes i'd like I do it. I piss on my hands sometimes just because it's fun. Let me here. Fucking ad. Stupid ass ad. I need to get this ad out of here. need to look at something.
01:24:34
Speaker
Hey, do you wipe your ass with just one fly of toilet paper? Yeah.
01:24:40
Speaker
who did They teach us to squat and just go back and forth like a dog on the carpet.
01:24:48
Speaker
I didn't expect somebody to actually answer the question. yeah i tell you again That's my role. oh This is the whole album, Michael. No, at my youth group. At church.
01:25:06
Speaker
We have already
01:25:10
Speaker
already said that... Glick, shut up. It's Brittany story time, man. Shut up. um No, because because Brittany's talking about being her left alone with children, and we've already established she she she has... No, no, no.
01:25:21
Speaker
I was a child at this point. No, I was a child at this point, and it was the leader that taught me this. Oh, this is going to be another one of those stories, like Brittany...
01:25:33
Speaker
So I lost my virginity, my dad and I. yeah Uncle Danny. Shut up. time band camp. And I'm like, Uncle Danny went on this hike up in the woods.
01:25:48
Speaker
Go ahead, tell your story, Brittany. Christian camp, I see for that, though. You bring my dad in, lose shit it's not even funny anymore. It's stupid. You're the one that said it
01:26:01
Speaker
it. No, you did. I said it every year. didn't say shit about my dad. I said I went to church. Brittany, I'm going to need you to go back. Brittany, I'm going to need you not to smoke weed for like like an hour. that's the problem. I need to smoke weed because it's worn off now.
01:26:23
Speaker
You get me, Johnny. Johnny gets it. I do. what Mine was one time at Christian Camp ah in a wooden ship structure they had.
01:26:33
Speaker
ah feel the need. The need for weed. I was going to say something. That's it. I'm not elaborating anymore on that. was never mind. It like a great struggle. Or you could just go still. I'm going to do that.
01:26:45
Speaker
when you're your my or you could just you think would im gonna do Oh, shit, I'm sorry, guys. I forget the entire show revolves around Britney, so we have to go fuck up. I'm sorry. but we we we made we can we can how many po it How many POTUS have been assassinated?
01:27:14
Speaker
How many what? POTUS. Shut it. President of the United States. Look at this, dude. Two. but but Why don't you just say president?
01:27:27
Speaker
Because POTUS is cooler. Is the answer too? just sound like a pretentious prick. There are less syllables. Is it really four? There are four. i can't think of the fourth one.
01:27:41
Speaker
So there was um Harding. No, not Harding. McKinley. ah How many presidents have been assassinated? Google Shut it.
01:27:52
Speaker
got it and JFK Jr. I can't think of the fourth one. Oh! Well, why would you look at that? Abraham Lincoln, James Garfield, William McKinley, and... Garfield.
01:28:06
Speaker
Garfield. Not an Ohio president. He's from New Jersey. Garfield hates Mondays and loves lasagna. True. His owners, John, spelled J-O-N,
01:28:22
Speaker
The dumbest of all Johns. and so of all Is it like Geoff when your name is Jeff and and you spell it G-E-O-F-F?
01:28:33
Speaker
Yeah. yeah Because mom and dad were just pretentious pricks. Or related. Or related.
01:28:44
Speaker
Yeah. This reminds me of Game of Thrones.
01:28:52
Speaker
what Anybody got plans for later after the show? Anyone going out? Masturbation. Masturbation. Lots of masturbation.
01:29:04
Speaker
You me send you video? Like last time?
01:29:09
Speaker
I got you. but this time This time I want to see the money shot. Oh, okay. Well, I wasn't sure you ready for that. Holy shit. So I'll go to completion this time for you. Do you want me to send you my oily video to help you get ready?
01:29:25
Speaker
That would be fantastic. I don't it know if going to help me or make me see the difference. We'll give it a shot. We'll give it a shot. You make shit weird, and I you.
01:29:41
Speaker
yeah makes it weird and i will like it but hope you get ready i ah right here with you You want to bring the weird? I'm right there with you. Let's bring the weird. I know. Well, good for you, buddy. Securing your new job. Sounds like you dig it.
01:29:56
Speaker
That's good. oh Yeah, i dig it, man. It's cool. It's laid back. It's chill. It's super chill. I like it. Enough. don't want to talk about it. I'm just saying good job. Stop barking Gifford. To myself.
01:30:10
Speaker
He said, I don't want to talk about it. Just good job. was just saying congratulations. but Look, I had to shut that shit down Wednesday night. No. Mike, I think you'll appreciate this. you know I found out at my my new job.
01:30:29
Speaker
there's ah There's a glory hole there.
01:30:32
Speaker
but That is the worst fucking sound on earth, man. It pierces the brain. Piercing our brains. You're just like me, yourself.
01:30:43
Speaker
Honestly. yet
01:30:49
Speaker
um Oh, I did smoke weed at church camp, though. I will say that, too. The only thing you smoked at church camp, you smoked a lot of dick there, too. No, I didn't.
01:31:00
Speaker
Surprisingly, I didn't. Just the one, and he died. no he tried. but
01:31:09
Speaker
My friend poured a milkshake on his head. Okay. such a such a romantic so you're not catholic you got it oh no not at all holy fuck my grandfather was a pentecostal pastor
01:31:27
Speaker
you know apostolic pentecostals man that's my people too yeah but and and never not yeah the speaking in tongues and everything that but not the snakes part. A lot of singing in the third service.
01:31:40
Speaker
Oh, the snakes are the fun part. Brittany is inbredacostal. needs No, can we not? Uh-oh. Can we not watch?
01:31:51
Speaker
Brittany, are you your feelings? Oh, wait, no, there actually was one cousin while I did marry his first cousin.
01:32:02
Speaker
Only five more doors really jerry lee South of the Mason Dixon, that doesn't count, so you're good. What's my side profession?
01:32:13
Speaker
Oh, and I was south of the Mason Dixon. That's funny as shit. Hey there, city boy. You got purdy mouth.
01:32:27
Speaker
hey there and boy you got pur mouth She's got purdy mouth. She's been on over that log. She's going like a bird. That's a fucking disturbing scene, man. That's a weird goddamn movie. is You know what? You know what the fucked up part about that whole movie was?
01:32:47
Speaker
as Burt Reynolds had that shot way before they started taking him to pound town. Yeah. That's not a good friend. That's not a good friend. He waited.
01:32:57
Speaker
He was like, oh, you're never going to live this down when that inbred redneck fucked you in the asshole. Ned Beatty said in an interview that he hated doing that show because he got so fucking typecast that it was hard for him to get work after that.
01:33:13
Speaker
Well, he got to be the bumbling little sidekick to Lex Luthor. Yeah. I think Ned Beatty did all right in his career. I think he had a pretty good career. yeah I don't know when that interview was. i mean you know He might have did the interview and then started getting work after that or something. but He did say that in an interview.
01:33:31
Speaker
but
01:33:35
Speaker
I think he was just traumatized from his asshole getting stretched wide open. we want it looks we little at the same time because they yeah they wanted They wanted it to be as realistic as possible. so You you know you know from experience you saw his face and you're like oh been there Who are you talking to, Brittany?
01:33:56
Speaker
She's talking to me. I know who she's talking to. me The scene with the gimp and shit but always makes me think of that for some reason. It's not in the bayou or anything, but it always makes me think of that.
01:34:07
Speaker
don't know why. They're not related, but it's just so fucking creepy. The spider's caught a fly. The spider's caught a fly. ah What was in the case?
01:34:24
Speaker
I don't think they never showed what was in the case. No. I don't think they did. that's that's an an interview i his glorious tre come In an interview, said it was his immortal soul.
01:34:36
Speaker
And that's what the they kept showing the back of his neck with the yeah band-aid on it. Apparently that was where his soul was distracted. He made a deal with the devil what was and then crawfished the deal. What was in a suitcase in Pulp Fiction? I don't know.
01:34:54
Speaker
What's in the box? What's in the box? What's in the box? The contents of the briefcase and Pulp Fiction are never revealed and are left to the viewer's interpretation. It's a classic MacGuffin plot device that drives the narrative, but whose specific nature is it? J.J. Abrams film of school.
01:35:18
Speaker
School of film. Oh, bret you got trans. Yeah, it did. She's taking it for you. guys yeah ah It says ah various fan theories exist, ranging from diamonds to Marcellus' soul.
01:35:32
Speaker
The filmmakers intended to interpret yeah just whatever the fuck you want to put in the mind. How many diamonds shine gold?
01:35:41
Speaker
Golden diamonds? The gold ones?
01:35:45
Speaker
It's gold! The ones that were always at the yellow shower, yeah know the golden shower show. The R. Kelly concert. How about you just mind your business, Angel?
01:35:57
Speaker
How's that sound? Don't worry about what I do on the side.
01:36:01
Speaker
I gotta pay the bills around this bitch. Don't be talking to my girl like that. 20 bucks is 20 bucks. I'm not good at doing that. It's only gay you push back. right yeah That's right.
01:36:14
Speaker
well Our friends in the Navy used to say, what? It's not queer it happened off the pier? You know? What? I've
01:36:24
Speaker
never heard that before. this I've never heard that before. I gotta remember that one.
01:36:37
Speaker
That's awesome. Fucking Navy. Fucking Navy. Get your shit together. For real. I'm not gonna say anything.
01:36:48
Speaker
Yeah, probably. Probably the best. no Great, man. You got the filter working. Look at you. I'm proud of you.
01:36:59
Speaker
I just smoked. See, I told you. I just i just needed to smoke. Yeah, that's what it was. That's 100% what it was. You just needed to smoke. I have respect for all services, but no, no. I would like to issue a...
01:37:16
Speaker
I would like to issue a 48-hour challenge, Brittany, to you. 48-hour challenge of like a stream?
01:37:27
Speaker
No. Of what? forty eight A 48-hour challenge to you. Don't smoke weed for 48 hours. I do that all the time.
01:37:38
Speaker
Well, not all the time. No, I said don't. i said don't smoke weed. I know. i can do it. i just prefer to not.
01:37:50
Speaker
I just can't do it on days of the end and why?
01:37:54
Speaker
could do it. It doesn't help that literally everybody, like 95% of the people that I work with, when we go out for our 10-minute breaks, everybody's piling up in different cars, smoking up. Susceptible to pure pressure. And then we have our 30-minute break.
01:38:14
Speaker
for lunch and then we have another 10 minute break i just want to fit in and i want to I want to hang out with the cool kids drugs are bad and they don't make you cool it's a fucking plant shut up it's pot everybody comes back off of breaks smelling like skunk weed and shit yeah it's very dia management has no idea what you were doing out in the parking lot oh no I mean even some of the supervisors are getting stoned and it's not even recreationally illegal yet Brittany, you know what? that's ah that That is a hell of a hell of a defense.
01:38:47
Speaker
And I'm going to go ahead and let you have this W. It's hot and I work in a plant. Okay. I don't know what that has to do with anything. I walk across the little, like right behind my house where I work.
01:39:02
Speaker
Right across the street. I will walk over there and just smoke a bowl. They'll probably see me on camera and shit. like damn get But if you get injured on the job, and you report it, and then you have to get a piss test. Which clearly you have several injuries from the job. No, no, no. Well, yeah.
01:39:20
Speaker
So nobody ever reports One of our guys that I worked with, he, I don't want to say too much because i don't know if he's watching. Nobody ever reports it because they're all too fucking high and they don't know where the paperwork is. this is No, because they're smart and know better.
01:39:39
Speaker
Just some people are like attention seeking, you know. I was like, I told you not to report that shit. You're going to get in trouble and you're going to get fired. Like, you're a dumbass. Hey, Steve, when you came to work this morning, didn't you have both arms?
01:39:52
Speaker
don't know. It's a whole fucking thing. But, yeah.
01:40:02
Speaker
I literally, it's right there. a pay is shit for what I have to do. But it's right there. So I save money on gas.
01:40:12
Speaker
What do you do? Don't name the company, obviously, but what do you do? I work for and I mix paint. You can find me at counter number three in i used um actually work I used to work for sure. but She and her supervisors.
01:40:31
Speaker
company she works for the position she holds where she's at and her supervisors First and last name and phone number. And address. Oh, yeah. Okay, I will, because come around and fuck around and find out.
01:40:44
Speaker
but All those dudes would be, like, big bro and me.
01:40:52
Speaker
But, okay, so what I do... that what it's called now? They're big bro and you? God damn it, Glick. I wasn't going to fucking say it. ah sitting I was sitting here being fucking nice, man. Like...
01:41:04
Speaker
Can I just finish what the fuck I was saying, you motherfuckers, without you being a little virgin? Sarge's benefit, mean, you speak slower and softer while you're talking about the being big bro'd by all the guys at work.
01:41:23
Speaker
He's going to use this later. I said it. Never mind. Oh, my God. Anyway, they'll stick up for me They'll stick up for me. But, okay, so what I do, the factory makes shelves for Husky and other things for Home Depot, Lowe's, and Turner's Fly and shit like that.
01:41:45
Speaker
My part where I'm in the factory is where I'm assembling all the shit. Okay. I know exactly. you tomorrow. See you tomorrow. Okay, cool.
01:41:57
Speaker
hi gang cool Brittany, I'll tell you what, I was in Home Depot the other day at work, and we walked past some um husky shelves and containers and stuff, and I was like, fuck you. Brittany said you suck.
01:42:14
Speaker
Just so you know.
01:42:17
Speaker
You look like you were assembled fucking wrong. Oh, I thought you were talking shit about me, but yeah, thank you. yeah you said that there You said that their shelving stuff sucks.
01:42:28
Speaker
And I seen it and I was like, it's honestly the fucking worst. The worst is Husky. Straight up. They suck. I'm not a fan of anything made by Husky.
01:42:41
Speaker
I don't know anything about their shelves. And we throw it all away.
01:42:47
Speaker
I don't know anything about Husky's You saw the Snapchat I have? The middle only Snapchat that I put up? And I did that?
01:42:58
Speaker
That's where we throw away all the shit that's fucked up. That is usually like stacked with Husky's shit. Because they suck. I don't know anything about their shelves or anything like that but I do know that their tools are straight fucking ass.
01:43:13
Speaker
They're a pain in the ass to assemble too.
01:43:17
Speaker
the think of you Is it just is it a shit quality or what? Yeah, it's just ah it's just... They're like... It goes from the beginning is like just sheet metal, so it depends on the people that are bending the metal, cutting the holes, going through the wash, drying, another wash, dry, paint, drying, and then whatever else.
01:43:45
Speaker
It goes through so many hands that it's kind of hard to tell fucked You can buy Husky Tools at Dollar Tree. Yeah, exactly. Husky is like... Yeah. okay yeah so So, I mean, I'm just saying, you can buy their tools at Dollar Tree.
01:44:01
Speaker
You can only imagine what their shelves are. Yeah, enough said. And then Brittany and brittany and her and her weird stoner friends are putting them together. So, you I'm just saying. It's a bunch of old men that look like Some of them are old men, mainly. Look like what? Finish that statement. She going to call you old and say that. i felt it Dude, I felt that shit in my bone, man.
01:44:27
Speaker
yeah
01:44:31
Speaker
A bunch of old men. Fuck, i think I think Modog works in the back department, man. you know ah Literally, I'm parked next to a man that looks exactly like you, but his beard is longer.
01:44:43
Speaker
ah so ah So all old people look the same. ye that's my yeah yeah you know you mo dog do the same thing all guys with beards like mine we all apparently look the same ah i could bring a i could show you pictures i can grow a full beard i just i just keep it like this I've got pictures of me with a full beard. it's i don't know. It's probably down about here.
01:45:06
Speaker
It's not as long as yours. bra it Oh, I straight up look like Santa Claus, man. My fucking granddaughter. I can't wait until I go full gray. She was like, Poppy, you look just like Santa Claus.
01:45:19
Speaker
Well, why don't you just dye your whole beard instead of just dyeing those two streaks? Do you dye those or is that natural? like It's natural. We dye
01:45:30
Speaker
We're going to fight Branson. Two different answers. Well, first and foremost, he doesn't know where she is right now. I thought I would stop saying that. I'm sorry. No, you're fine. No, don't worry about it.
01:45:45
Speaker
What's crazy is with this lighting, it does look like it. I dye mine, too. I dye this one. It's not all really gray. I dye it. Yeah, with with this lighting, it does look like I dyed my beard because it's it's extra dark. But if you see it without any filters or any lighting, like I've got gray all over. Yeah, there there yeah like I've got gray patches over here that I got my racing stripes. But I've earned my racing stripes.
01:46:12
Speaker
And if you you know. This guy that was talking to. you I was just at the barber shop yesterday. I went and got my haircut and everything. And we were talking about my gray hair. We were talking about gray hair. And my barber, Randy, shout out to Denny's Hair Station in New York, Ohio.
01:46:28
Speaker
Go see rany and Randy and Shauna. They'll take care of you. But Randy was like, at least gray hair comes in and it looks cool and it doesn't look like my but like my face because it's got like the weird gray patches.
01:46:40
Speaker
And Shauna, the lady who cuts hair in there, she she cuts my cousins my son's hair. She's like, yeah, Glick, actually, you got really nice hair and your gray look goes with it really well. And I'm like, I just want great i just want to go all gray.
01:46:51
Speaker
like I just wish I would wake up in the morning and it would just be all gray. Yeah, I didn't give a fuck when I started going. I had like strawberry blonde hair anyway. know but Sometimes a little darker, sometimes a little lighter. I'm just going to fucking say hey Glick, I was going to mess with you, but I'm just going to say it.
01:47:07
Speaker
One of my co-workers that I'm talking to he he has strawberry blonde hair like you just said. but And his beard, he has like white gray stripes that go through his too. And I was talking about how you dye her. know what he does. You what he does.
01:47:28
Speaker
You know what he does. That son of a bitch. You know how you get the racist stripes in your beard? that's when you That's when you eat for your pleasure, and not hers. I'm just saying.
01:47:40
Speaker
So when it's when it's all fucking white, what's that tell you No comment. He might be watching.
01:47:50
Speaker
You're doing it wrong. No, you're doing it right. thought people had to earn the weight. I ain't complaining. You know what?
01:48:02
Speaker
There's more and more younger guys that are fucking like getting gray hair and shit these days. be You know, i'm not I'm not mad at my gray hair. and this is This is the reason why I'm not mad at Because my pops, there's pictures of him.
01:48:14
Speaker
when he was in the army at 18, 19, whatever. And he had, he was salt and peppered. Yeah. My sisters have been dying their hair to hide their grace since they were 16, 17.
01:48:26
Speaker
I just started going gray about four, three, about four years ago, right around the time we started doing this show. I just started going gray. And I'm forty i'm almost 44.
01:48:37
Speaker
So, I mean, I was but almost just about 40 when I started getting gray hair. I'm not mad because I got gray hair on my dad's side and everybody on my mom's side is fucking bald. And I've got oh i got a full-ass head of hair, thick, glorious hair, and now I've got and and now i got some sweet-ass gray hair. That didn't sound gay at all, man. Yeah.
01:48:56
Speaker
or It's 100%. What's up, gay boys? What up, my gay boys? How you doing? you know You know who loves you. Daddy loves you. that's right i shouldn Oh, my God. Can you just shut up for at least two minutes? month and If I want to show some love to my gay boys, I'm going to show some love to my gay boys.
01:49:17
Speaker
That's fine. That has nothing to do with it, you fuck. That has everything to do with it. you fuck but is everything going to do with it What's up, dude? What did I just walk into?
01:49:31
Speaker
mean, she hasn't you gotten you yet and sent you back to Mexico. but You don't want to know. you At least my money will last longer. This is
Accusations and Humor
01:49:43
Speaker
true. Brittany's homophobic is what you just walked into. Brittany's homophobic. And I'm in clear salt water versus murky salt water.
01:49:51
Speaker
I like being with Kuswa too sometimes. So shut up. oh Well, congratulations. So do I. But I don't know what that has do with being homophobic.
01:50:02
Speaker
You don't like gay boys. That's what I heard. That's not what the fuck I said. You better take it back. You said, I'm not taking it back. You don't like Britney. don't like boys. Gay boys like me.
01:50:14
Speaker
boys like me. They might like you, but they love me. Well, because you actually have parts. They're like, you act like a dude, but you don't have the dick.
01:50:26
Speaker
hello I like, I can buy one. I going to say, what? I can buy one. Hold on a second. but Glick, you act like such a dude, man. It's too bad you don't have a dick, man.
01:50:40
Speaker
No, talk about me. my whatever thing happen perfect coming know yep i i up while i drive
01:50:57
Speaker
but to hold yourself in you're driving well that's good to know i be no i' mine can't hold my phone up while i drive remember I'm not a goddamn Wookiee racist piece shit. Brittany's coming up and Brian's a racist.
01:51:17
Speaker
I mean, walking around smelling like dish soap and depression. Can you stop saying that because I'm not. Brittany, what do they call the first black astronaut that landed on the moon? ah
01:51:30
Speaker
A blackstronaut. A fucking astronaut, you fucking racist. I actually like what Brittany said. A black astronaut. That's probably the best answer I've ever had if I get to that joke.
01:51:45
Speaker
Oh, Lord have mercy. Yeah. How are y'all doing? Good, yes how are you doing? See you from it.
01:51:58
Speaker
good how are you doing see you brother I mean, just off of work. or What food are you thinking about in this moment right now?
01:52:09
Speaker
Well, they had a family get-together earlier, so i just had like leftover pulled pork, beans, and potato salad. Nice. yeah it it it was it was Yeah, it was a family get-together earlier. Oh, yeah.
01:52:24
Speaker
hi yeah Was it your family or you just crash somebody else's? No, no. Where I live, it's my best friend's parents. It's kind of like a memorial celebration of life for his grandmother that passed away. I was just taking a shot when you said that. I'm going to spit it out everywhere in front of my phone. There's a spit, not swallow.
01:52:52
Speaker
You're not a spit. There's that... There's that 10th granny, y'all. 9 out of 10 grannies approved of the Nonsensical Network. yeah love Next weekend. Oh, Brian.
01:53:04
Speaker
Too soon? Too soon? it Next weekend, I'm going down to the Eastern Shore and we're having like a Hawaiian like barbecue thing.
01:53:17
Speaker
There's going to be like 70 of us there. Like a luau? i yeah that I guess that's what you would call it. And add pineapple on pizza.
01:53:28
Speaker
Yeah, pizza and pineapple. I will fucking punch both of you stupid bitches in the face. but Oh, there's a metal song. It's called Pizza is Life.
01:53:41
Speaker
And ah he's like, pineapple on pizza? Fuck you! Oh, yeah.
01:53:50
Speaker
ah you you pineapple Pineapple does belong on pizza. It does, totally. I know eventually one day you and I are going to hang out. I'm going punch you right in the stomach.
01:54:01
Speaker
Just know that's why. don't worry. follow rules of engagement. So the moment you do, you get a power slap back.
01:54:12
Speaker
going to be there. I'm just going to run in with a big boot right across the face. So the moment I power slap you, you're going to be like, oh, hey, man, I'm sorry. My bad.
01:54:26
Speaker
Yeah. going to smack you so hard you're going to talking normal English. Brian, you can't reach me. You can't reach my face. Hey, man, I'm halfway and I can jump somewhat. Yeah.
01:54:39
Speaker
you
01:54:41
Speaker
but i got I have a reach. Hold on a second. Let me go get my crate. Let me get my milk crate. Here we go. I'll get that little small trampoline. Get that little. ah He's going to use his husky ladder.
01:55:00
Speaker
ah Brian, I know you watch power slap and I don't and I don't know their names, but there was a chick who there was a chick who, uh, It was like her first match or something like that And then there's that blonde chick that went from Asian to Caucasian Yeah, I saw that Asian to fucking Caucasian Yeah, but that rookie Hit her one time and put her to sleep, bro It was her first ever slap And put that chick to sleep I mean, yeah The women's division is increasing Which is good Bradley, what's going on with you, brother?
01:55:38
Speaker
How much? There's a women's division slap fighting? Because you had like the Hungarian hurricane. i love like Cheers. It was dominating. And then you got another girl coming in. Now you got like the flyway. You got ah you got a 12-gauge.
01:55:54
Speaker
What's her name from the UFC? 12-gauge. She's in it now. i don't know. I just was asking about that video that's going around. where do She slaps the Asian chick and she like turns Caucasian.
01:56:07
Speaker
Right? I haven't seen that one. That's fucking AI, right? That wasn't real. I don't know. I don't know. I've watched it so many times, MoDog. I'm going to look it up.
01:56:20
Speaker
um looking up and I've looked it up. and I've looked up different videos. Pull that shit up, man. You won't get copyrighted. my God. My brain's fucking hurt. Yeah, we will. Trust me. What way does she turn Caucasian? Does her skin turn white? Her whole fucking face changes, dude. She goes from a Chinese girl or asian to like literally looking like fucking karen from jersey it's like locking key where they have key where you like can't turn yourself into anything oh that's that's ai that's ai
01:56:53
Speaker
but what i have like a keywor locking key where they have a key where you like can't you turn yourself into any oh that's that's ai that's ai Oh, no shit, Sherlock. yeah ah show about people that You could stick a key in the back of their neck or something. I thought there was a show about that. Yeah. little Yeah, that's what I'm fucking talking about. Welcome to the club, bro.
01:57:18
Speaker
What the heck show was that? was a weird like bradley Well, Bradley bought tickets to Britney's world. We're just over here just letting her do her own thing. And Bradley's like, hold on a second. egg Do not engage with the animals. Do not engage with the animals, Bradley.
01:57:39
Speaker
Anybody talks about inserting someone into something's into somebody's neck. I want to jump on board with that. No, you're going to go elsewhere and you don't know what you're fucking saying.
01:57:51
Speaker
Never. i am Never.
01:57:55
Speaker
No, I like that light that you got going on back there. Did I end up on um and in the stoner algorithm where the only people who come up, there's me and my dog then Brian pops up occasionally. Everybody else that comes up in here is just absolute stoner. Yeah.
01:58:14
Speaker
We got the old Marine over here. Stoner artists over here. and here ah look through The down there. never mind. Bradley's got an actual fucking universe in his bedroom. It's just a stain on my ceiling.
01:58:36
Speaker
no Did I get that right? Click. Bradley. You're backwards. You're backwards.
01:58:48
Speaker
Okay, so... You gotta go right to left. You gotta go right to left. but yeah There you go. Okay. yes My homie, artist, stoner.
01:59:00
Speaker
and just want to point out that he keeps calling you old Moe Dahl. I think he's a stoner. He has bong in his name, so I'm going to assume he's a stoner. She just assumed... She assumes my gum's like fucking oatmeal, but it's not, know. No, it's cream of wheat, bro. Cream of wheat. Is Bong the family name? There you go. Maybe. learn to practice from others. Maybe we'll have the Bong.
01:59:26
Speaker
thanks ah there you go maybe
01:59:31
Speaker
i did learn to practice mother they were the but
01:59:38
Speaker
The dipshit fuckhead. i yeah There you go. Wookie. And the other show that I kind of know is the bucket head.
01:59:50
Speaker
the the guy The guy who brought her on board and welcomed her to the nonsensical family and made her a part of the show. No, he didn't. It's my goddamn network. You can say that because Blaze isn't here to tell me I'm wrong.
02:00:04
Speaker
It was Rick. I'll introduce you. I knew a man from Lantuck. You wore a hat that looked like a bucket. You're right. yeah I love you. You're the best. You think if you walked into a mafia family and some jerk-off, low-level nobody was like, here you go. He doesn't get the credit.
02:00:27
Speaker
The Don... The family, the head of the family, they make the decisions. I'm the head of this goddamn family. I make the decisions. And I can say that because Blaze isn't here tonight.
02:00:41
Speaker
that As we learned last week, and this is Blaze's goddamn network. Blaze says, this my motherfucking network. I'm like, oh, shit. No, you keep passing it off onto everybody, so it's your fault. don't pass it off on nobody.
02:00:55
Speaker
You're in charge right now. You're in charge. I'm trying to get this to see. well wednesdays Well, Wednesday wednesday' stay nights. Yeah, Wednesday nights. I don't have to always. That's not that's not my show. That's just a show.
02:01:08
Speaker
and thanks Speaking of Blaze, I didn't watch the whole thing because only saw like like literally about 30 seconds of it, and then something came up and i had to get off. Was he going off on somebody the other day Yeah, last that' awesome it's fucking awesome. this this deal just is this What happened? this dude came up This dude came up a blazing network.
02:01:29
Speaker
This dude came up in here and and he started talking shit because he doesn't drink. he doesn't drink and he doesn't smoke a day because people who do that, they're on low vibrations.
02:01:40
Speaker
words a general Nothing. He's a loser. He's a loser. And then he started talking to religion. and And as soon as he came in and talking started talking shit about people who drink and smoke, i already seen the hamster wheel and Blaze's head going. And I'm like, well, this is not going to end well for this guy at all.
02:01:57
Speaker
And then he started talking religion. And I was like, and Blaze was just sitting back. Like Blaze was just sitting back, like just chilling. Right. And then he leaned forward. I was like, oh, shit. Brittany and I both just went, yep.
02:02:13
Speaker
Time to unleash the Blaze. And they started going back and forth. And the dude told Blaze to shut up like three times. And the third time Blaze was like, you're not going to fucking tell me to shut up on my fucking network. It was amazing.
02:02:31
Speaker
I was like, dude, just do it. Just fucking do it. Let it go. That guy was full of shit. Yes, Jedi! The was, he was like he was just criticizing just because you know like we all like have different backgrounds and stuff.
02:02:49
Speaker
But the fact that he said, but he but what set Blaze off, which is he goes, I'm trying to explain if you would listen, you little dummy. And then when he said that, that was when Blaze just, boom, zero to 60, just took off right there.
02:03:05
Speaker
ah know billion you Yeah, the like, he was he was cool that point. and we'll do that point but the moment he said his me When he said dummy, that was it. You're not going to call him dummy. No, fuck you. yeah this wasn't This wasn't anybody that you guys know or a regular.
02:03:23
Speaker
Just so fucking dude's a random of dude
02:03:28
Speaker
dude. Do you guys know he's a streamer and he pops around ah brand Looney Tunes Brandon or whatever. He's like this autistic kid and he watches Looney Tunes and he does a bunch of weird Christian shit.
02:03:42
Speaker
and I don't think I would. No, but I want to see him now. Oh, well. yeah and so like like He's a good kid. he's you know like he He popped up in here a couple times.
02:03:53
Speaker
yeah He's popped up in here in the past a couple times. and you know He's autistic, and he's a good kid. like i don't i'm Nothing against the guy. and and I had a little fun with him because you know he's like, I'm the number one YouTuber. dada da da Are you following me? Did you subscribe? Yeah.
02:04:10
Speaker
I'm like, yeah, I'm subscribed to you, bro. Are you subscribed to me? Are you subscribed to me? Did you subscribe? I'm like, yes. And then finally he was like, look, man, I'm subscribed to you. And if you don't subscribe to me, I'm not going to subscribe to you.
02:04:22
Speaker
and he's like you should come to my channel we talk about jesus and i was like yeah let's talk about jesus on your channel i'll be a guest he he just hasn't been around ever since but i would like he's a good kid he means well he just don't know any better and his channel is actually when he's winning because he watches a lot of old school cartoons like the old school looney tunes but Stuff like that. And that's actually kind of cool. club but he does what he does do But he does do the daily weird spaghetti monster Jeebus thing.
02:04:54
Speaker
which is i do but is that i mean Jedi is frantically searching the internet for you. I need to see it. I fucking need it in my life. i do a cookie show you i send you I'll send you I have your number. I'll you the link,
02:05:12
Speaker
but they're like he brings these people up here and they do like their daily prayers and scripture readings and which i'm not a anybody if that's what you believe in that's your thing right yeah and well yeah but but and and and like i said yeah brandon's a good kid he really is he's just He's a lot. He's a lot to handle. yeahside and and and and And this is not the right space for him.
02:05:39
Speaker
um And I told him that one time. I'm like, yeah, yeah. like like And I know you guys. I know you guys. All of us know Noel. Excuse me. excuse me. Oh, my God.
02:05:54
Speaker
She's okay in very small doses. And that's how Brandon is. He's a good kid. He's a good kid. I do support him. I do support his channel when he's live. Bradley Harris is kind of the same.
02:06:06
Speaker
Yeah, I do pop in and give him a thumbs up and give him a and say hi to him when he's live. I support his channel and stuff like that, but he's he's a lot to handle if he comes up on the panel.
02:06:18
Speaker
he's he's He's a lot. and And everybody else kind of just gets real quiet, and it's just me and him, and I'm just like, um my looks like fuck it i'm going in man i'm going in next time he comes on you text me next time he comes on text me i'm gonna ask him what's jesus he's talking about is it jesus h christ was wondering that's the important one here this subject yeah jedi you're such a panel whore i think everybody in the internet's got your fucking phone number man
02:06:51
Speaker
Probably. What is it? You told you told me i was the only one. Oh, whoops. and i mean When I was giving Angel Transfer my freaking Snapchat on here, I started getting so many fucking... and put your Snapchat in the live?
02:07:11
Speaker
What? What? you Brittany, you fucking dummy. All you had to do... Oh, my God. I couldn't... Where's Bill's handlers? and but listen Which show is this? I mean, I'm not going to go back and look at it or anything.
02:07:26
Speaker
I'm glad you're here, Jedi, because I remember you were talking about wanting to come to Texas so you see Kill Tony. Oh, yeah. MoDog, I got you. He's performing tonight. No, that's fine. I don't care. He's performing at a venue about 20 minutes from me, but it's sold out.
02:07:41
Speaker
Oh, bro. I would be crushed if he was that close, but I couldn't get in. i yeah i mean my i mean, my dad is working at the event. You have that problem a lot, don't you, Jedi? So close, but you can't get in.
02:07:54
Speaker
yeah that was good Is that what you're familiar with? i mean He is married. Can you just go to the place and maybe just like listen to
Event Mishaps and Security Concerns
02:08:05
Speaker
him? You can hear it i know so be like hey He's just on the wall with a cup. right there keep a walk johnson was here Angela Johnson was here. I wanted to go. That show was sold out.
02:08:20
Speaker
Joe Boy was here. I wanted to go. Joe Boy. I love him. I like him. He should just buy tickets earlier. when but Yeah, what the fuck are you doing, honky? Get him. No tickets.
02:08:34
Speaker
and so so sure you would sit clubs too like like like on my phone like he He just shows up the day of like, are there any tickets left? Well, it's been sold out for three weeks. I know, right? Did you just call him honking?
02:08:46
Speaker
Did you not know that? It's like a moment the moment, you know, they they live on their phones. I don't live on my phone. I mean, I'll get the, up I'll get a look like got an email. Like, Oh, okay, cool.
02:08:58
Speaker
But depending where I'm at, I don't get the reception. Goddamn liar. You don't live on your fucking phone. The amount of goddamn videos you post in our group chat. He's like, well, I don't get the reception, I can't pre-order tickets. That's when I know I have 5G. When I have 5G, I send you videos, but when I don't.
02:09:16
Speaker
But see, I've got Wi-Fi now. Brian, Brian, Brian. You are constantly on your phone. I know. When I have 5G, I'm on it. Yeah.
02:09:27
Speaker
You can't get on Ticketmaster because you're too busy sending fucking videos in our goddamn room chat. No, no, no, no. I don't i use Ticketmaster anymore after that whole, ah after what happened with them.
02:09:42
Speaker
ya do know I don't use Ticketmaster either. It's racist. Every big company got hacked. there was a big thing yeah yeah and apple information apple Apple, Google, and some other company just got hacked too. So many people's shit just got compromised. Let those chickens stream!
02:10:01
Speaker
so yeah'm like I'm like, you know what? I'll just go straight to the box. I'll go old school. I'll just drive up to the box office and buy it. You know what? Just dress up like a janitor and just walk in like you work there and then find a seat. It's ticket master.
02:10:16
Speaker
Yes! Do that! Oh, bet those tickets were all out in the fields, you know? Your name's Tommy, boy. Working in the field.
02:10:27
Speaker
Someday someone will buy me little movie. Too far. to run
02:10:36
Speaker
ah Jesus age Christ. ever give someone one of your tickets and they use a whip and they go, whoosh, and they cut it That's a ticket.
02:10:47
Speaker
but and Enjoy the show. I mean, wait so mean like my my best friend gives me shit because like whenever I would order movie tickets, and you know he's like, it'd always like you can use your phone. They have the QR code on the phone.
02:11:02
Speaker
But you know what I do? I print it out. It just had a spot. I said, hey, man, you may never know, dude. like we may I may not have signals, so I got backup. He's like, you can buy it. i'm afraid like My phone doesn't get dial-up.
02:11:15
Speaker
I tried to leave it. It's just my is at the theater. like in the four theater I have no reception. so it's like I go outside and and pull it up and then make like make sure that the light's no dim cause i'm like du Bro, who is your carrier?
02:11:33
Speaker
You need to sign up. got mail. right Yeah. man You've got mail. They sent this email two years ago, and you finally got it now. It's funny you bring that up, because I was helping friend of mine clean out his storage, and I went, what the hell? America Online 5.0? America Online 7.0? And you're like, score, I got internet again.
02:11:56
Speaker
Well, we have Wi-Fi now. If it was Brittany, she'd be like, you know, that fucking old Marine's probably got some AOL dust. She's like, screw you, your schoolhouse rocks.
02:12:10
Speaker
Brian's like, we have Wi-Fi now in Texas. I'm just a bell. Waiting to get past. no have seen that video what is that yeah um go you sound strong like i seen that video what is that but and for school house here no um do does sound like yeah yeah now just like a mo
02:12:40
Speaker
yeah hard does
02:12:43
Speaker
yeah now um but what were we talking about we go home so damn right you got you got you got the memory of a goldfish, man. now i was thinking the same thing, Moe Dye. Before the Capitol Hill thing.
02:12:59
Speaker
They tried to remake that, but they made it all woke and it's not good. I didn't know he's like, I'm just a bill to get child re-gendered side with surgery.
02:13:15
Speaker
I want to get the kids some titties.
02:13:20
Speaker
What? What are you bringing out of that is That was too funny to be real. Walk away for a second and I'll feel pretty exclusive. Yeah, Johnny, where'd you go, bro? You you let things fall into chaos.
02:13:37
Speaker
There you go, Brittany in the private chat. All I had time to do was tell mom hi and goodnight. Jesus. That's all it takes, Johnny. You should attack i don't want to know, Johnny. you don't want to know man yeah Johnny, get control of your panel.
02:13:52
Speaker
yeah Yeah, exactly. earth Yeah. Shit. Modog's creating a ruckus. Fuck, I'm the quiet one on here tonight, man.
02:14:04
Speaker
yeah he's i'm yeah i fuck i'm the quiet one on here tonight That's what's causing the... Everybody gets a nervous around quiet people, so they have to say weird shit.
02:14:17
Speaker
That's why. I'm not worried about shit. I'm not sure i'm not worried about shit. I bring him crowns. I'm not getting a shot in this in this ah yeah look looks miss school He already knows. yeah In this school shooting, I'm not getting a shot. He's going to be like, you were good to me, Glick.
02:14:31
Speaker
No, Brady, don't stop doing that. That's like ASMR shit. That's like mesmerizing. It's going to work. you guys continue talking britney don't stop doing that the rest of the street damn bradley got this shit under control too just was just ah we just all started doing correct takes looks like he's shrek having a seizure like we're we're both uh we're both tripping balls out of fucking like I'm doing my talent right now too. You just can't see it. You just can't see it. You just have a similar talent, Sarge. You just can't see me doing it. You should see when I have white on the tip of my fingers. When you have white.
02:15:19
Speaker
i Oh, that's from the comment.
02:15:25
Speaker
It's like listening to the lights.
02:15:29
Speaker
look guy I've lost all control of this show. As long as keeps seeing her hands being fine. I'm so sorry. The inmates are literally taking over the asylum at this point.
02:15:46
Speaker
well and i she want that with her She can do that with her feet and her legs, too. but She can. You know, MoDog. and hey i'm on I'm on the Patreon, man.
02:15:57
Speaker
I'm just under different name. I was on your OnlyFans last night. oh I sent MoDog video of you swinging from tree branches by your toes.
02:16:11
Speaker
That's talent. And you didn't give me any of the money for it? the far well No, because you clearly give me pics away for free. right done but you're not gonna financially but i will i didn't do it on purpose i didn't know that's what he was searching for and until afterwards you know what you know what i didn't i wasn't it collect just in you know yeah i didn't i didn't benefit financially on purpose i just said hey bo dog 50 bucks and i'll send you this crazy ass video britney and he was like here's 100. i was like i got a benny laying here i ain't doing nothing wait i don't got any money but i still want to see some you need to send me the video dan i the first pickup man it took up the whole fucking screen on my inch She was literally from branch to branch by her toes swinging like a spider monkey. I i would like to see that very badly. I bet you one of her toes sticks up like a raptor claw.
02:17:14
Speaker
It's got the middle one. The middle one. When Brittany learns to open doors, we're all fucked. When when she gets that fungus like she gets that fungus under control, it's going to be pretty too, man.
02:17:28
Speaker
You know what she's doing? It just camps on the ground Got that big yellow corn on, you know? Oh. Ew. No, let's just paint. 50 bucks to my cash app, Jedi and Bradley, and I'll send you the video.
02:17:41
Speaker
Send me 50 bucks to my cash app, I'll send you the video. You got it. Out of control. Johnny Bungs, get control of your panel.
02:17:52
Speaker
johnny bungs get control of your panel What the fuck? People swinging from trees on their feet and nobody's saying nothing.
02:18:04
Speaker
I just got to say not Stop being a Karen. Stop being a Karen. How did she get that to fit in there? And it's not what you think.
02:18:15
Speaker
whoa my yeah Oh my God. It's past that point. I don't know how to handle it.
02:18:24
Speaker
No, she's covering it. What's your goodies, Glick? What?
02:18:31
Speaker
What's your goodies? You should read your chat once in a while.
02:18:39
Speaker
should You know, I i was. And you didn't send that. $50 to the Cash App, Angel. You know the rules. No. Oh, did you get my good? Oh, Chris Technician, you're the man. I love you, bro.
02:18:54
Speaker
Don't you worry about my goodies, sis. Chris Technician ran to Walmart and he got me a six-pack of Corona and some lemon and lime. Oh, nice. Hell yeah. Chris Technician, unlike you assholes, he he cares about me and he takes care of me. I care about you, too. That's why I bought a timeshare in your beard.
02:19:10
Speaker
he bought his beard? With the exception of Jedi, you assholes. yeah Jedi, yeah, Jedi pays, and then and then one weekend a year he can live in my beard.
02:19:25
Speaker
I will go to one day for you anyway. Uh-oh. And then sometimes sometimes we play this fun little game where I turn the light on and letting it charged up, and then I turn it off and he glows in the dark.
02:19:38
Speaker
i like we Like a firefly. Like a fucking firefly. can't play hide and seek and hear him buzzing in the other room. And and then he touches me and tells me goodnight. It's really sweet. I do.
02:19:51
Speaker
I tuck him in and I tell him sweet. I tell him a bedtime story. i write as i But not scary ones. I don't like the scary ones. No, but we don't do scary stories. I learned the lesson in the hard way.
02:20:03
Speaker
He was up all night. He wet the bed. it was just It was a whole thing. I wet the beard, you mean. the be He wet the beard. It was a whole thing. it was a whole it was It was a whole thing. He wet the beard in the way that I'm used to. This has gone way too far already. He kicked me out of his beard because I kept blocking the toilet.
02:20:26
Speaker
wi And wiping with the beard. That's where those streaks in Rick's beard come from is because you wiped. Actually, no, it would be all be white, but I kind of filled in some color with my son.
02:20:41
Speaker
Yeah, it was white until you wiped, but then that's where the color came. Bradley's not welcome anymore. Bradley's not welcome anymore. You shitting my beard one time and that's it, man. It's conversations like this that make the Looney Tude kids seem normal.
02:20:56
Speaker
um dog If you want me to add a little color to your beard, you know, I got a so little brown right in the middle. yeah but People are going to watch this replay and go, hold on a second.
02:21:11
Speaker
like right out what what what are they What is going on in his beard? to see the thing go back. i might smell like dirty as if you zoom in and like it can still see thing but I can get your beard flat if I eat enough burger. There's some little toilet paper Just Toilet paper debris. Yeah.
02:21:39
Speaker
yeah oh my character go roll up some the third gro people gary joe w So is that considered a beard-a-berry instead of a dingleberry? yeah hey hey Copyright or trademark that, MoDog. That's a one. Unlike build-a-bear.
02:22:00
Speaker
um just really different things I say, you don't want to get sued by that. You need to change the name of your company. I think you got a dingleberry right here.
02:22:11
Speaker
she go weird reading Is that in your beard? that's straight up shit, dude. like right hometown, man.
02:22:25
Speaker
He's funny as shit. my so you know guy you here because my beard's the shit g she me he's from my hometown man he's funny as shit
02:22:42
Speaker
I'm a singer in black, I got shit in my beard. know i was talking about him He's from Cincinnati. you're from Ohio. you make oh you pre shit motivat your fresh said any you pro yeah Goddamn, dude. You do this every fucking week, man.
02:22:58
Speaker
You got Britney-itis, man. very good What's that? That's a dangerous dude. Yeah, remember I'm Cincinnati, you're Columbus. I'm in the middle between you and Blaze.
02:23:10
Speaker
Is anyone coming back to you? No. yeah fuck that is yeah it's Clip that shit, right? yeah is it coming is it coming back unjackable so you You know what to do. It's pinned at the top. You know what to do. Go ahead and get that shit. It's your baby mama.
02:23:33
Speaker
There's not a cure for brittinitis, but doctors have made a pill that you can live normally while you sit. That pill comes in a form.
02:23:47
Speaker
yeah i calledqui is it penicillin No. it's nine millime yeah You have to unalive yourself, Jedi, if you get Britney. I had a question for you.
02:24:01
Speaker
I was listening to old Art Bell. He's a radio host. Did you used to call Art Bell's radio program? Because I swear I heard you on there.
02:24:12
Speaker
you know He's like, I have no idea what you're talking about. You strange little man. R.L. was an old New York radio host. And he talked about the conspiracies and aliens and shadow men. Crazy stories and shit. He was a weird dude. Homeboy was a weird fucking dude, guys. of you If you've never heard of him and you've never heard his stuff, you're not missing anything. was a weird guy. Listen to his fucking interview about the black hole and shit.
02:24:38
Speaker
That'll... You have a distinct way of talking, and I swear I heard you on the show. i I've only connected with a radio station call-in one time, and it was stories about hooking up with a fatty. and oh This was at like 5 o'clock in the morning while I'm driving to work, and I was like, bro, I got a story.
02:25:00
Speaker
So I called up. So like gold I called up. Not expecting that so one at all. So like i and I had a real story. So I told so a vague story. I didn't tell on anybody. i know I need to hear this story now. Oh, yeah.
02:25:20
Speaker
and you want to hear the story but Because I was the only one that called in. I automatically won the prize, which was a 12 pack. Yeah, I think it was like a sling fast. i thought it was a free trip to Piggly Wiggly to take your date. No, of the fatties. That was probably before a Zempick, too, huh?
02:25:44
Speaker
Oh, fuck. can't bring it. Of short glass bottles because they're wider, so they call them the nanny fatties. Oh, man. but You told a story about how you fucked Natty Fanny.
02:26:00
Speaker
Hey, I'm not worried. It's got a wide mouth at the opening. good There's this story about fatties like um pes tailer you have like those whaler spear things and if you had like ah like a harpoon ah har Thank you. Thank you. marpoon um A harpoon.
02:26:25
Speaker
If you were to sleep with one of the fatty chicks, you had to hang up the harpoon above your door. I hate it. And then somebody had to take it. If you were to sleep with one of the fatties, you you better have a hog on you. Otherwise, she's going to be disappointed.
02:26:42
Speaker
You can't reach. You can't reach. But then you they you have to tell them the reason why you had the harpoon above your door.
02:26:52
Speaker
He's got a harpoon in pants. Is that a harpoon in your pants? You're just happy to see me. yeah harpoon need a harpoon for Yeah. but you got was a kid That was my belly button.
02:27:10
Speaker
She says that was my belly button.
02:27:16
Speaker
I think I got your belly button pregnant. Are you in yet? Are you in yet? No. That's my belly button, fucker. That's my belly button. One of my the fat rolls.
02:27:28
Speaker
That's how you find it, man. You wet them down and, you know, a bit of erotica. And that is that she is the only um partner I've ever had in my life that requested a oral finish.
02:27:48
Speaker
And i I let her have it. So what are you going to I had one like that. Apparently you're going to call the radio station and tell them about it. yeah Why would you tell her?
02:27:59
Speaker
What kind of radio is that? Did cum get stuck in her baleen? I tried again. Hey, it wasn't her first, but it was mine. she took it like Does anybody know what baleen is?
02:28:13
Speaker
Yeah. It's like, what is that? no It's the stuff that whales have in their mouth to catch krill instead teeth. It comes in a huge fucking comb of it.
02:28:26
Speaker
I'm sorry, I had to explain that. To be honest, that's perfect representation, though. You think of all the sperm going and the whales that eat the... That is spot on. That is brilliant. Fuck. wouldn't say that. What was it that Scott all of us?
02:28:45
Speaker
I keep wanting to say Ming, and I don't remember if that's it or not. Do you remember what i'm talking about? A little bit. that That makes me think about evolution a little bit.
Unexpected Prizes and Marine Humor
02:28:58
Speaker
It's like, whales, they sperm so much.
02:29:01
Speaker
And ah other animals, they have so many eggs. So it's like, just imagine a whale sperm. The billions upon billions of gallons of sperm.
02:29:13
Speaker
ah spermwa And then they, a whale sperm finds like a turtle. I think recently we were able to see whales mating. We never knew how they made it.
02:29:24
Speaker
And I think just recently they first captured the footage of them mating. It sounds like I'm saying it was gay. The first footage of whales mating was gay. It was. It was two dudes. Male whales.
02:29:39
Speaker
Male whales. Male whales. Male whales. Holy fucks. Hey, get that out my bane. yeah Now you get it.
02:29:50
Speaker
My question is, if they're in the water, how doesn't it just mix with the water and then get all over the place and then, yeah. yeah Don't you hate it when your cum gets in water? i get men or some see glu Johnny, this is why you're not allowed to get into the jacuzzi he um well they They have to be close because each side has a short lifespan without the other. so without aid that payment doesn it create long The seed doesn't last very long without the egg.
02:30:20
Speaker
So the closer they are, the better. And that's why a turtles, like they they ride that, uh, that ocean stream. Why do you know so much about this on trackable?
02:30:32
Speaker
Yes, he'll be the fucking turtle. You watch a lot of Discovery Channel. Oh my God. It's nothing but mammals. Let's do it like we do on the Discovery Channel.
02:30:47
Speaker
I'm in motion of your ocean. Oh yeah, really. Oh yeah. Click is like, what the fuck happened to my channel, man? Has anybody ever come to the bathtub and played getting away from the cell? That's about to be... That's about to have a pure belly. Swear to God.
02:31:07
Speaker
Them oysters. Don't get me started on those.
02:31:14
Speaker
I feel bad for anybody who's still listening to this. All this come talk makes me need a goddamn cigarette. Why you calling me, Jed? Jed is still calling me. I'm in the middle of a show. Maybe we should take a break at three and a half hours. He's looking for that Three and a half hours.
02:31:35
Speaker
Brittany, it's two and a half hours, first and foremost. And if you need to go smoke, go smoke. We don't have to take a break. We... yeah The world doesn't revolve around you, Princess Brittany.
02:31:46
Speaker
um I'm like' not going to say Brittany was talking about her feet and then UnTrackable showed up. you know i didn't want I didn't want to bring it up, Moat. I didn't want to bring it up, Sarge, but since you brought it up. think i worked There's the Tootsies. He got a little too excited. What was that, two weeks ago?
02:32:06
Speaker
Yeah. Then he dropped off and we were like, where'd go, man? pinky's red. um Why is your pinky red? No, your pinky toe. Oh, because I just stubbed it
02:32:24
Speaker
That wasn't a toe. That was a smiled small child's arm, man. Yeah, like all my toes are long except for my pinky toe. It's like, I'm trying. I'm trying. I'm trying.
02:32:37
Speaker
I'm almost there, guys. I'm retorted. can almost reach the branch.
02:32:46
Speaker
Her pinky toe is is sloth and goonies. Hey, you guys. up, basically. it's It's got a Superman shirt on. You're not right.
02:32:58
Speaker
No, Angel. She ain't no queen. She'd be a little princess. Because I'm the goddamn king of the nonsensical network. I'm going to shit.
02:33:14
Speaker
I didn't do anything about incest. Well, it's just you're my bro. You said you're the king. I'm the queen, so that would be incest. No, I said you're not the queen.
02:33:26
Speaker
But I am. a Do you see that right there? Mm-mm. see what what you're You're not pointing to anything. Your queen thing is over on this side. On my screen, it's right here.
02:33:40
Speaker
Brittany britney pointed to everywhere on her screen except where the fucking name's at. She covered the fucking screen there.
02:33:53
Speaker
My screen is right here, bitches, so fuck you. Brittany, don't you have to smoke weed or something? Yes, I'm going to smoke some weed. Shut the ah fuck up. i need to go time take time ti I'll You hear my favorite impression of a dumb person?
02:34:14
Speaker
um but Panel, please take another look at her name, if you will. And
02:34:25
Speaker
let's see how long it takes you for she notices. i but She's got her fucking earbuds in. God damn it. You motherfucker. Why would you even say it out loud? I can hear you still. I can still fucking hear you. jumped back on that bed like a dog with a fucking zoomies, man.
02:34:48
Speaker
but You Whatever. I'm going to leave it like that. Harley dad did that to me one time and I didn't fucking realize it for like two hours. was so pissed.
02:34:59
Speaker
sorry just on it was I don't even remember what he put. It was something. It was fun that was wendy in high school
02:35:11
Speaker
but funny. took a second to look at their name tag to see if we changed that. I'm on high alert now. He's out of control. Oh, gosh. He's out of control.
02:35:25
Speaker
Man, I'm glad I found your network. I'm glad you found us, too, brother. You guys are a good time. Cheers.
02:35:38
Speaker
man i'm i'm glad i found your network nothing good and i'm glad you found us too brother you guys good time
02:35:47
Speaker
yeah cheers
02:35:51
Speaker
Cheers. no i find it I find it funny that um like, you know, it was been brought up lately about the holidays and, you know, whatever.
02:36:06
Speaker
But, you know, forget the days off the the labeling of the months as if there could be one label for a month. I think June is men's mental health mental health health health Mental health month. Let me help you out, man.
02:36:25
Speaker
Mental health month. Mental health Mental health, huh? I need a mental health month. and And it's also Pride Month, and it's also Military Appreciation Month.
02:36:38
Speaker
It can't be all those things. Yeah, let's just throw everything in with everything else. right How do you do all those things at once? Well, let me tell you, because this is where it's going. You joined the Navy. Is there...
02:36:49
Speaker
is that everything you do in the military is gay. It's like you take showers with other dudes, you sleep with dudes, you build shoes and camp out. I'm sold. And everything is dude-oriented.
02:37:10
Speaker
and But know what? The military got mental health issues is what we're trying to say. I know. I was just outside dying.
02:37:21
Speaker
If it doesn't drive you crazy, if it doesn't drive you crazy It could make you gay. no And if it doesn't make you gay, it's some sort master. I don't think you have too gay at all. i'm go other worries with because i lost seat don gayness You have to make it through the gayness before you become a master and realize you fucking know britney that utter men's mental health
02:37:52
Speaker
And then and you get to like where does it doesn't matter if you're gay or not. Did you do your fucking job?
02:38:05
Speaker
I gotta say, I gotta say, guys, I'm um'm loving, I'm loving Untrackables math here. One plus one equals seven. It means right to me.
02:38:16
Speaker
seems great to me I don't have a couch in English, Jeff. I thought you were going to say one plus one equals gay. Oh my god. Unstractable, you literally have me crying outside. Like, I had to walk back inside because I was laughing so hard.
02:38:31
Speaker
Unstractable is like camouflage, mental illness mental illness equals gay. Equals gay. Equals you take it up the ass. When I was in the Navy, I was playing... Oh shit, were were you in the fucking Navy, dude?
02:38:47
Speaker
I'm sorry, man. I was just joking. no i was the no I was just on board on an aircraft carrier and I was playing football with a bunch of the guys, you know, and I caught the ball and they all tackled me.
02:38:59
Speaker
I was covered in semen. the Thank you. Hang on a second. Let me do it again. I was covered in semen. Just let it die.
02:39:12
Speaker
He punched up the joke and re-delivered. did. Now it works. It's always better when you have to do that. Or does this work? I was covered in semen.
02:39:24
Speaker
i got all gadgets That's the winner. That third one, you got to stick with that. Actually, if you if you if you really if you really want to nail the joke, you should explain it because we don't understand.
02:39:35
Speaker
That's what I was saying. now please on a naval ship are oh The men that that aren that serve on a naval ship, they're referred to as seamen because they're on the sea and they're men.
02:39:48
Speaker
Because if they're yeah on a naval vessel, you would think they would be lint men. You know what? so yeah i'm about to start eating crowns with you. We're bumping nubs, man.
02:40:04
Speaker
create always together short but last year just a bunch of nus
02:40:15
Speaker
are like it got a plus happen in now no no no yeah we're not we're not bumping nubs um buck with it um we might not out of this Why's it got to be a nub, Brittany?
02:40:31
Speaker
Jenna doesn't even remember from last night. How fucked up are you, dude? Jedi's things yeah the stay pretty fucked up Jedi's not even real hey guys I hate to bring i hate to break it to you but Jedi's actually AI he looks at yeah i um make it card you and your game he looks like the default of any where you go to make a character that is the best one I've ever heard the little fucking white emoji dude man legit that is That is the winner.
02:41:02
Speaker
Everybody tells me Powder. i get I get random names, but that one is the fucking go right there. Default man. Default character, bro. I love that. I fucking love that. The default.
02:41:19
Speaker
being love the default but how do man how do i change it How do I change my name like you did to Brittany? Default Jedi.
02:41:31
Speaker
That's not even how you spell my fucking name, bitch. No, did it on purpose, you bitch. She's big mad. Big mad. I know she is. I did it on purpose.
02:41:46
Speaker
I did it on purpose. One T, bitch. That's a T too far. You're British to me. One T, a K, and a N, man. That's the T. She broke the camel's back.
02:41:59
Speaker
You know why it's only one T? She's not greedy. She doesn't need take all the T's. don't the T's. What's going on there?
02:42:08
Speaker
going on there picture didn't happen That was more distracting than your little wave thing you were doing. I know. Go to fucking Patreon. Whatever. Jedi, I picked your name.
02:42:19
Speaker
jedi picked your name that's your That's your default answer. answer. um um there's if probably you and Itty live whisper britain victoria it many have a again What's going to say? That's all right. It's all about the nipple anyway, Brittany. It's all good. Yeah. I love giant nipples.
02:42:48
Speaker
My co-host is in the chat. I love giant nipples. Pussy. bring your real Bring your faceless ass up here, shaman.
02:42:59
Speaker
You have like a nipple that's unusually darker than the rest of it. As long as it doesn't have that big wild hair. i coming out of the middle of it Oh, yeah. Hairy nipples. Come up here and just repeat my man's default and see what happens to me on this panel. I like floss on my teeth with the hairs.
02:43:17
Speaker
ah It's going to be that defaulting lazy shaman show. I mean, I grew up in the 70s and 80s, Brittany. I can ah i i know what you're talking about. and but Who needs floss? You know?
02:43:29
Speaker
appreciate it harry i can I can appreciate a hairy bitch. I don't want to, but I will
02:43:37
Speaker
will. How long have you been single now, g quick? who says single? Now that Untrackables stop saying such funny shit, I can't see who so small.
02:43:51
Speaker
Let's talk about men's mental health again. Brittany, take your earbuds out this time.
02:43:59
Speaker
like It's annoying how much I fucking love you, dude. It's so annoying. how much i know It really is annoying how much I love you Like, for real. Like, I love the hell out of Jeddah. Jeddah's my dude.
02:44:11
Speaker
I wish he wasn't in goddamn Canada so we could hang out together. It's Minnesota. It's close, but it's not there, okay? Calm down. Minnesota is close to Canada? According to the map.
02:44:25
Speaker
Am I wrong? like You're very wrong. You're like one maple syrup drink away from bitching about the roads in Canada. yeah You almost used kilometers. That's how I'm get through today.
02:44:44
Speaker
Oh, God. Gotta go wrestle some and stuff. I'll beat a moose's ass. I'm so sorry. You ever see a strange brew?
02:45:00
Speaker
a I will fight a moose to protect protect Jedi's honor. i gotta help you if the mount tuesday yeah Hey like got there. Mount me.
02:45:13
Speaker
you like nice mountain me hat you got there mountain Not now. Maybe after a couple more of these. After a couple more beers. Play some walking. Go to Timor. All hail tweeter.
02:45:27
Speaker
You guys have never seen Varsity Blues. You guys have never seen a... Varsity Blues is a great movie. Yeah. hu I was fucking wasted when I... I've only seen it one time and I was fucking wasted. I know I've seen it. It does. watched it recently.
02:45:42
Speaker
it does and what else should we welsh alman What? Shaman, if you know what else I'm going to do to that, if you want to know what else I'll do to that, Moose, subscribe to my OnlyFans. Subscribe to his OnlyFans. Oh, yeah. Bye. the video of the guy trying to ride a Moose?
02:45:59
Speaker
Subscribe to Lazy Glicks, fans. but la you or What where we recall was it? What was it? I forgot about that. and The Lazy Glicks. Subscribe to Lazy Glicks if you want to see what's going to happen to the moose next.
02:46:14
Speaker
It's worth every penny of the subscription cost. but The moose is happy too, okay? There is no animal cruelty. The moose is awesome. It's Friday.
02:46:27
Speaker
Jedi's page has nothing but default buttons on it. witness ah The only moose I've seen is what's in my hair. that's a safe that's as that's a safe That's a safe word. Hang on, let me try that again. It's in my hair. fall Pineapple is the safe word.
02:46:47
Speaker
Oh, God. Is it? Pineapple on pizza? What do you think? he You sons of bitches. Sorry, Glick. You need to fix your shit, Glick. Your taste buds are broken.
02:47:01
Speaker
There's a special place in hell for you and Brittany. britain I hope they have pineapple on I got a timeshare there, too, and I'm not in your beard. That's where I'm at. There's a special place in health for you.
02:47:13
Speaker
Where is the special place and what is it called? Oh, you know where the special place is. Stop it. yeah ah Stop it, girl. Flick can't find a special place.
02:47:26
Speaker
I know where Jedi's special place is. Oh goodness. yeah everybody knows It's here in my beard.
02:47:39
Speaker
It's his special place. I choose the worst time. Not anymore now that i know how many dingleberries are in there. Yeah, John, you got like bad time coming back, man. We're cleaning up our act.
02:47:57
Speaker
Actually, honestly, the whole time it's the wrong time because I don't think we ever stop saying something. when something goes in a special place, it makes this noise. Oh, my goodness.
02:48:11
Speaker
Do y'all ever get ah tinnitus? Like that ear thing where it's um like... Oh, yeah. I have it. Is that where it's always ringing? No, but I have ninnitus. Yes. You ever...
02:48:24
Speaker
you you ever um You know, get that um next and and then you you you twist your neck in that direction and you get a neck pain because you were just like, okay, I heard, you know, something came out of this ear.
02:48:40
Speaker
So i got ah I got to turn my head and it's like, I've cranked my neck so hard. Why do you turn your heads so aggressively? You can just do it. Am I having Tourette's?
02:48:53
Speaker
Is it like you can't control it or you do it on purpose?
02:48:59
Speaker
It's soot. and ida or the like i do that now and then I have Tourette's. That could be like a thing or whatever you have to no but yeah Why do you think I say fuck shit ass sometimes?
02:49:14
Speaker
I have never ever heard you do that. and if you did't It was in perfect context of the conversation so I didn't notice that it was Can we can we please have what your trigger words are so we can set it off? It's going to turn into the 4th of July if I know the words. She's like no I can't. Fuck you.
02:49:35
Speaker
Did you know that at the doctors, they have a faster like checkout or to to get released? and If you go to the doctors, I was there the other day, and it's a very fast line. It's called the 10-itis or less line.
02:49:50
Speaker
My ex-wife had chicken. Your jokes are so lame tonight. 10-itis or less line. Okay, and now the... But he punches them up and makes them good. Okay, where's the where's the whistle thing? Where's the whistle thing? Bring the whistle thing back.
02:50:06
Speaker
That's the winner. It's the tinnitus or less line. joke killed, but not every shitty joke that you do what huh ah I was going to say Bradley. You see the progression. The chicken, then the whistle, and that's when you know it's golden. You had perfect Just because you don't know what day lean is, don't make my jokes. You had a you you had a perfect opportunity and the tinnitus.
02:50:34
Speaker
My ex-wife suffered from not tinnitus. That's why she's with me. Not tinnitus. Not tinnitus. I don't need to punch it up. I didn't get that.
02:50:47
Speaker
or what I expected you not to get it because I assume you live in your mom's basement and you've never seen a woman naked in real life. I think it's a double dance. You saw mom naked.
02:51:00
Speaker
Damn it, mom. Your bush starts above her belly button. I saw this mom naked too. That's a skirt at that point. I'm just starting to say, to you want pics?
02:51:16
Speaker
Not even naked at that point, right? It's a grass. Sorry, we're sharing the same brain tonight. I think we we're sharing the same brain cell, man.
02:51:28
Speaker
I don't want to get it. But since we're talking about my mom's pussy. We just need somebody to yell at us. Jesus Christ, you dumb motherfuckers.
02:51:40
Speaker
Are you sharing the same goddamn brain cell? Right.
02:51:46
Speaker
No, in all seriousness, Bradley, tell your mom I said hi, man. I will. Okay. Mo Dog says hi! What? You don't know him!
02:51:58
Speaker
I don't know! Ma, the meatloaf! um Shut up! We might have two people on panel with Tourette's tonight. You know what the same part We should have a Tourette's battle.
02:52:10
Speaker
you you know you know't the part is we should have we should have a tourette's battle is a terre is The more that you guys are talking about the more it's fucking with me.
02:52:24
Speaker
how would i want an I would have never known, Brittany, if you hadn't said something. I've never known. I didn't know either. And and here's the crazy thing. As much as that as much as I give Brittany shit, I do know some of her trigger words.
02:52:38
Speaker
And i try my damnedest to never drop any of them. So, fuck you, crybaby bitch ex-boyfriend who says, don't cause your name to her. you I know her trigger words, and I try my damnedest not to drop any of them, because i don't want her to go full-on retard.
02:52:57
Speaker
Because, as we learned from Robert Downey Jr. in Tropic Thunder, you never go full retard. m I told you that in private, MK. Hey, do you like go part you like how I am...
02:53:11
Speaker
Was Kiwi Herman full retard? Sorry, just asking. Or just half. Change your what?
02:53:19
Speaker
I know I seen it and I just let you leave it. I seen it. so I love that. <unk>s It's Brittany, bitch. I like Brittany.
02:53:29
Speaker
I figured it out. I'm default character. Do you want to change any of my appearance? Why don't you shut the fuck up? My hair, my eyes, my face. my hair my eyes my face noc well I can't get this shit out of my head now. You're that guy on Snapchat that comes up and it's like time to pick your clothes and your outfit and your hair and all that shit. I was thinking more like the Wii.
02:53:56
Speaker
like like can we Yes, yes, that's kind of what I think. too i mean, it's same on most platforms, but we is actually the one that makes the most sense. Because yeah, it's like this fucking bald white dick. It's like a GPS. It's like God was tired that day. He's like, okay, I got to make another human. He'll figure it out himself.
02:54:21
Speaker
He'll have eyebrows. I don't care. but Fuck them eyebrows. I'm tired. It's the seventh day. I need to rest.
02:54:31
Speaker
Poor default.
02:54:42
Speaker
I just keep hearing snorting. Snorting cocks over here. Snorting cocks. for default default i think brittanney's got a pick in the room with her man and just keep hearing snort my people do snorting cock garing it' not yeah
02:55:02
Speaker
Brittany, your snorts are amazing. Don't ever stop snorting.
02:55:08
Speaker
Don't stop snorting. You just like the way it vibrates when she does it, man. That's true. It helps.
02:55:18
Speaker
It helps. It helps. the throat muscles It makes the throat muscles vibrate. The best humor you'll ever get.
02:55:28
Speaker
Come here. Sticking your dick in your mouth. I'm
02:55:33
Speaker
a big sucker in my dick. Hey, we call that hashtag good vibrations. Yeah.
02:55:40
Speaker
that
02:55:43
Speaker
getting snot on my dick. Jesus Christ. I feel like we're picking up Brittany way too much tonight. She's such a good sport. Yeah, that's what it is. yeah yeah Yeah, she's such a good sport. Tomorrow she's going be calling me whining and crying and boo-hooing and I have to pick her up and make her feel good about herself like does every Sunday.
02:56:07
Speaker
it's got Every Sunday I get it. Every Sunday she calls For a therapy sessions. Every Sunday she calls me acting like a little girl and I'm like, it's okay. ah Everybody loves you. You're awesome. Don't worry.
02:56:24
Speaker
It's something personal. You're a strong, independent woman. You got this. am a strong, independent black woman. Yes, you are. And then you play her some Destiny's Child. We don't know she doesn't sell her feet on OnlyFans. She goes away for free when she's out in the woods. and here mean the three Yeah, and then you tell her, I don't care who you are, where you're from, as long so know you have get along as you
02:56:56
Speaker
me again tourette's yeah
02:57:03
Speaker
I feel like Brittany would never call me if she was feeling bad about herself because she knows why my responses would be stop being a bitch fucking man up go smoke a bowl and get the fuck off my phone yeah well you already know it this guy right here is one of my new favorite people he's cracking me the fuck up
02:57:25
Speaker
I do it out of love, Brittany. Who gave you permission to talk to me. Speaking of which, you look like DT without the wrinkles. Oh, shit. Holy fuck. Don't start on her unless you're ready.
02:57:42
Speaker
i will let her I will let her hurt your feelings. Oh, shit. Who are you talking about? yeah you sure You short bus. actually Let's do it.
02:57:56
Speaker
um want to do it. oh I'm the only one let me mean to her. Hurt my feelings. Oh, I thought someone was going to hurt my feelings.
02:58:09
Speaker
I'm going to hurt something. Yeah. You're going to get that moose treatment. You're going to get that moose treatment. You got a hurt mouth. but you guys work mile Squid like a pig.
02:58:22
Speaker
Squid like a pig. Go on, do it one time, Bradley. good, Bradley? That's trigger for me.
02:58:33
Speaker
Squid like a pig. Kind of have to, because you know when I was young, they forced me. Never mind. repress Repress memories? Yeah, repress memories.
02:58:44
Speaker
Repress memories!
02:58:50
Speaker
oh You might have a dumb joke. do you mind if I tell it? You've told so many dumb jokes tonight. Why stop now? I know. Okay. So a door-to-door salesman walks up to a house and he noticed that he looks over in the field of this house that there's a farmer and he's ah fucking a donkey.
02:59:09
Speaker
Okay? You know? So he knocks on the door. yeah you know, like I do. you whatever he doesn't pay any attention to us he knocks on the door little kid answers and he goes hi and uh and guy goes is your father home and the kid goes he's out in the field and the guy goes oh uh well um do you know your father's fucking a donkey and the kid goes oh he always does that
02:59:35
Speaker
you um he always does that Chicken. That means the chicken. thing i The guy was out there fucking a chicken, and the kid goes, he fucking that chicken. That's what heard too, Brittany. It always does.
02:59:58
Speaker
but wait wait if you distribute about but the that my know that that's what i heard too but makes it mind always that If he be but it was a butt-fucking a chicken.
03:00:13
Speaker
Butt-fuck? Butt-fuck? Butt-fuck? but All right, stop it. ah but That's all i want to do now from all day. You're welcome. I gave that one to you.
Military Experiences and Moose Tales
03:00:28
Speaker
You didn't have to join our Patreon or anything to get that. That was a freebie. I know. Jedi said it there, man. The whistle's and The streak stays alive. The streak stays alive, Bradley. I want to say I'm proud of you.
03:00:42
Speaker
Yeah, Angel, smoke. I bet that kills in the special needs class. I think Angel said in the chat that she had. He fucked up a donkey. That's what they do.
03:00:56
Speaker
Brittany's going to go hard right now. What? Brittany's getting hard. What did she say? Uh-oh, girl. Little Tito's. What is your chaser?
03:01:12
Speaker
What are you chasing? it Jack Daniels. be Dr. Pepper. ah Dr. Pepper. Sarge is like a little Tito's with a Jack Daniels chaser. i'm sorry I usually don't drink photo and ah But you say it with confidence where I'm like, yep, him and I have had similar nights. Yeah. That's why his hair is as white as it is. There's 101 proof whiskey. yeah I'd say wisdom, but that's not it.
03:01:43
Speaker
No, I say bad decisions. And that's why I have to say that. all Exactly. right it pretty and i think And I think you've got about 20 years on me. And I don't mean that in any disrespect. That's just honestly. Oh, no.
03:01:56
Speaker
I got probably at least that. man I'm 60. Oh, yeah. oh yeah Almost. Yeah, yeah. You got like 16 years on me. No, no, wait. Math is hard. 16, 17 years on me.
03:02:09
Speaker
So, yeah, in 17 years, I'm going to look like that. Only a full-blown beard. And a full head of hair. You got 20 years of hair. My family... I actually have a full head hair. I just it short. The hair usually goes full white, like my aunt. You keep it somewhere else. How long were you in the Marines? Sorry. My ears.
03:02:30
Speaker
I don't know if I asked you that before, and I don't remember. How long were you in the Marines? Those hairs. I did three tours in 12 years. Oh. Okay. That's what's up. Thank you you know for that service thing.
03:02:43
Speaker
Yeah, that thing that you did. Thank you for that thing you did. For that thing you did, you know. i know. You don't you don't know, Brad. I had like three years like or three months left on my contract and I came home job hunting because was married and had kids and shit.
03:02:57
Speaker
yes So I was trying to find a fucking job in the civilian world. um'm sitting in the HR director's office and she's like all of 24 fucking years old probably. And I'd done my best to like put together a resume that would work in the civilian world.
03:03:13
Speaker
And she looks at it. She goes, she goes, I don't come from a military family. I never served in the military. so none of this stuff makes any sense to me. Can you just tell me in layman's terms what it is? And I said, what do you want? Politically, like politically correct answer. Or do you want an honest answer?
03:03:28
Speaker
And she got offended. She goes, well, I'm the HR director. Of course I want the honest answer. And i went, okay, i blew shit up and kill people. And her fucking eyes got about as big as silver fucking dollars. man do that hi you I'll see myself out door. yeah that's so best look to pain knee these people so i don't I'll see myself out.
03:03:46
Speaker
There should be a beeline direct. I mean, back in the day, we're still figuring shit out. But I mean, at this point, we should have that down to like you serve in the military. You do us a great fucking service so that we should be line right to these are the jobs that you can do.
03:04:02
Speaker
You are perfect fit in for this, this or this. And you can fucking pick whatever you want. And, you know, most companies like to say they do that shit, but they don't. Well, I think we see a lot of companies that are like, you know, we love the military, you know, or we hire vets all the They just want to say things. Exactly. They just want hire one just to make themselves. I've hired everyone.
03:04:25
Speaker
I've hired every military person I've ever interviewed. Every one of them. oh I can say also I left ah under different circumstances than you did, sir.
03:04:38
Speaker
However, However, ah yeah they were honorable. so chicken got yeah but fucking the chicken no I
03:04:51
Speaker
it good i was i was and i didn't want to cook anymore so when i got out um there you know there's a book with um that defines job duties um they said duties He said He said duty.
03:05:12
Speaker
so so but what I'm talking about. he you I spent ah about an hour with this book before I started looking for jobs and I was copy and paste and be like, OK, I've been through this.
03:05:26
Speaker
I've been through that. I've been through the other. But I was not trying to focus on what my military occupation was because I was trying to get out of the kitchen.
03:05:37
Speaker
And i swear, but i hey, maybe I don't know how to write a resume, but it it took me it took me but roughly 10 years to get out of the kitchen.
03:05:52
Speaker
And I've been ah ben for roughly 10 years. um I'm so happy to have escaped the kitchen because every every single lesson that I got from the military was um hey, just be open to learning.
03:06:10
Speaker
up you know That was my experience. so Having it translate to a job, when you say, oh, I put pins on grenades and I pull triggers on guns and i call in for artillery and and I'll fuck a dude in his ass if he misses me. Good at managing people.
03:06:32
Speaker
but you i I actually have another story. ah about what you're talking about, not wanting to be a cook anymore. i heard this story, and I would like to tell you it's called Moose Turd Pie.
03:06:46
Speaker
Have you ever heard it? No, I've never heard that. Just assume that we've never fucking heard it. and I worked on the railroad, on the train. You know, far out on the trains.
03:06:58
Speaker
And we all had different jobs out working on the railroad, and we didn't get to... Oh, he's trying to talk, and he's muted. I'm sorry, I'm telling a very... hey brad Hey, Bradley. what's up What's up? Let's all assume that we've already heard it.
03:07:13
Speaker
Okay, yeah. Let's assume we already heard it, man. You're right. I think that might have been what Brittany was trying to say. I haven't heard it, and I would like to. shit like spirit I would like to hear it. it. Sorry to throw a wrench into things, but I want to fucking hear it. You don't exactly hear it.
03:07:35
Speaker
You can go on the Jedi and Shaman show. On the train had a big cook car. And there had to be a cook. But they had to pick their cook in a very specific way. You didn't you didn't sign up to be a cook. Nobody wanted to be the cook.
03:07:49
Speaker
So the way they picked the cook is if whoever complained about the food had to be the cook. Well, I guess that was me. On my first day, I complained about the food. And they sent me out to be the cook.
03:08:00
Speaker
You picky Go on. No. so no I did not want to be the cook, so I went out. went out looking in the fields. You did this. I know. I'm regretting it already.
03:08:12
Speaker
I found a big steaming moose turd. And I lifted that thing up on its side, and I rolled it on down to the cook cart, and I prepared a nice pie shell. I crimped the sides and everything, and I put that moose patty in there over the top, and I baked that up.
03:08:30
Speaker
and i served it the big guy came up and he said i'm hungry i want something eat so i served no piece of this pie he took one big bite of it chewed it up threw his fork down he stood up and said this is moose pie it's good though what the actual book because if he complained he would have to be the yeah and then he'd have to be the cut jedi Jedi, this is your fault. You know what? We learn more from our mistakes than our successes.
03:09:06
Speaker
Okay? heard that and you know i gave um you you know what was I learned when he has a story, I'm going to just pass. No, no, no. It's okay. what You know what?
03:09:18
Speaker
Dr. Demento thought that was a good story. They just keep getting worse and worse. No.
03:09:26
Speaker
Moose turd pie. Jedi's in control. Jedi's driving this bus now. I'm sorry I said that. How do I move that? It's all going back to the default settings. I don't know if I can get high enough for that story.
03:09:46
Speaker
i don't know if i can get high enough for that so worry you didn't even do the way it wouldn't have saved it but would have helped it oh here comes a train now you didn't even do the way so it wouldn't have saved it but it wouldve help it ah here comes a train now One of my cousins that I know of, he's like so dumb. I feel like he would like that story.
03:10:14
Speaker
is He's so dumb. Jedi, we might have to revoke your timeshare membership after that.
03:10:25
Speaker
i I already yeah canceled my time share when I found out about pooing your beard. Oh my. At least when we took over your shit.
03:10:38
Speaker
At least when we took over your shit. It's good though. Wait, what did you say, Brittany? here it was kind At least when we took over your shit, it was funny. Oh, funny. She's got a point there. When the Nonsensical Network took over the Lazy Shaman show, we killed it.
03:10:56
Speaker
And the first and foremost, the first thing we did was kick the Canadians out. Get the fuck out. They're a problem. they We need a wall on the northern border.
03:11:06
Speaker
They are problem. Winter is coming, man. You need a nonsensical wall to keep the Canadians out because the Canadians know better because party because because I've already gone to war with the Canadians and they they signed a peace treaty where they have to mind their business and Act accordingly, otherwise Glick's going to invade Canada. what magic think we need to ah Just going to send your beard in?
03:11:33
Speaker
Boom. done Done. There's only 10 of them. It would be pretty easy to invade them. They're untrackable. Where are you at, man? The moose outnumber the people.
03:11:45
Speaker
i don't I don't mean the room in your house. right Geographically.
03:11:50
Speaker
yeah um I'm lost in space right now. I'm lost in space. Danger Will Robinson. Danger Will Robinson. I love that.
03:12:02
Speaker
I love that. well come over I have a star named after me. My cousin bought it from Everstate. Can you draw us a picture of the star that is named after you? I'll have to look it up again.
03:12:19
Speaker
There it is. It's right behind your head there, Jedi. It's right behind your head. Oh, yeah. Look, it's one of those ones.
03:12:29
Speaker
It's one of those ones back there. You can only see it with a telescope, unfortunately. What's the thing on your ceiling? What is that poster? Is that a pot leaf or just like a weird like... Oh, yeah. I'm so glad that I like hung out my ceiling.
03:12:43
Speaker
but Yeah, what is that? Yeah, it's a flag. I hung it on my car. I know it's a flag, but what of of what? that Poison Ivy, dude. Okay, it's like, I can't tell. voices iy Poison Ivy. Poison Ivy.
03:12:55
Speaker
i like Is the star called It's Brittany, bitch? The star? The reason why andt and I didn't answer is you had to write the fruit time. Oh. Missed opportunity. I have something that. Hey, you can find me star if you want. We can call it that.
03:13:12
Speaker
You know what? I'm going to name one of the ones behind me for free because I bet 38 other people have the same star named after them.
03:13:24
Speaker
There's like 40 fucking um what's his name? Kurt Cobains. Oh, fuck. Naming a star after somebody's kind of a skater. Do you think you're allowed to name a star the N-word?
03:13:37
Speaker
you the i be I bet there's a lot of them out there, to be honest. I don't know. Well, look at that. That's the galaxy. I'm not allowed to talk about that star because I'm white. No, you're default.
03:13:50
Speaker
yeah And I got the default picture to prove it. That's not in my programming. I cannot say that. You know, they... I am. Okay.
03:14:04
Speaker
Games are not but with a gamer tag. If you don't want any numbers behind it, yeah you know give up transantula you tell your boss you have to be very original.
03:14:17
Speaker
so if If a shooting star or a galaxy winds up being, nigga, what did I find? hu I'm pretty sure that's going to be the most original star in the entire galaxy.
03:14:34
Speaker
What's that name? What's the name of the stuff? You almost killed Bradley. Bradley. Bradley. Toot your Like a tomato.
03:14:54
Speaker
you almost died trying to do it too and you would do it
03:15:00
Speaker
and yeah
03:15:04
Speaker
Bradley, do it again. need more. Why are dodging so hard? More cowbell. We need more cowbell. Oh, shit. Headster's name was Ted Hobie. Hold on. Yeah.
03:15:16
Speaker
yeah yeah I guarantee there are no stars named... Nigga, what did I find? Zero, zero, zero, zero, one. That doesn't happen. That's one. I'm going to name one right now. How do I buy a star?...
03:15:38
Speaker
yeah i'm goingnna name one right now how do i buy a star interesting but
03:15:47
Speaker
Do they sell them on Amazon? I need two days shipping on that name. and Bradley's face is the color of Untrackable's hat and his shoulders the color of fucking Jedi. I was about to say, like white and then his face is like just red. Like he's about to explode.
03:16:05
Speaker
You gotta breathe, dude. That's a good answer. One word for that is. oh you That's for you, Untrackable.
03:16:18
Speaker
I love you, sir.
03:16:22
Speaker
You got it. okay Okay. Don't rely on me, please. What are you doing? You're relying on me. Don't do that. I'm i'm far gone.
03:16:33
Speaker
I'm far gone right now. Look how beautiful Mr. Default is. He's so beautiful. I think you're beautiful. Holy shit. great yeah just Doesn't everyone here think he's beautiful? Come on, people. like um You know how you walk into a room and it's really fucking quiet and awkward?
03:16:51
Speaker
um Yeah, that just happened. Yeah. You know, it happens every time I walk room. Every time Bradley walks into room. And I fart. Cricket. Cricket. Cricket. Hey, why'd it get quiet in here?
03:17:07
Speaker
Oh, my goodness.
03:17:11
Speaker
Yeah. is yeah Oh, my God. Thank you for that. No Johnny to get control of his panel.
03:17:26
Speaker
What the? Johnny got fired up. I love it. I'm just teasing you, Johnny. I got to keep you on your toes. Why are you fucking with Johnny? Why are you fucking with Johnny?
03:17:39
Speaker
Huh? ah yeah oh yeah' written me on Johnny's my bro. Fuck with Johnny. Fuck with me. stirring i'm just still in the pot without even knowing it. This is fucking great. How the fuck did Johnny know what he exactly what it is? Johnny's my fucking homie.
03:18:04
Speaker
Johnny's my homie. I've been hanging out with him longer than you've been hanging out with Johnny. ah johnny Johnny, we're fighting over you now. Do you realize this? You've caused a stir because we all love you so much. We're fighting over who loves you more. I stole him.
03:18:21
Speaker
Are you an artist, Lazy? No, but I appreciate Johnny's work. No, you can't. Johnny, how long have been coming to your channel and talking to you about your art? yeah no no no no No, no, no. Me and Johnny have been friends and you and longer. okay i'm Longer.
03:18:38
Speaker
I don't care. I'm an artist. He's an artist. We got that bond, bro. Longer. Okay. what is Would you get angry if I'm both correct? He's so Switzerland right now. He's like, you're both correct. I don't want to take a side. Is logistics considered an art?
03:18:56
Speaker
it Is logistics considered an art? ah Johnny, I hope you realize how much we all love you. That's why we're fighting over you. I'm talking about visual art. Visual art.
03:19:06
Speaker
We talked about collaborating our artwork together. Johnny. And we both love Madmead. We do, yes. I know. Johnny takes the best bong rips I've ever fucking seen. He gets below his desk and just fucking whoosh.
03:19:22
Speaker
I think that's why my guy friends busted at this point in my life. see I promote that. Anyway, I love you, Johnny. hope you don't die from your bong hits. Johnny, if your sideburns had a dead-end street, they went past it.
03:19:39
Speaker
My sideburns did a what-to-who? Your sideburns are too long. Let me see them, Johnny. When you were laughing and looking up... What do you mean? What's wrong with the sideburns? Those are great sideburns.
03:19:49
Speaker
It looks like a plane that went past the runway.
03:19:54
Speaker
I don't have good discipline. spot you know Bradley, go back to your corner and toot your horn. He's like, Johnny's getting too much praise. Bring him down a notch.
Personal Stories and Humorous Banter
03:20:04
Speaker
friend To be honest, we don't want Johnny's ego to get out of control because of how much we're all ragging about. don't don't don't Don't speak again, Bradley, until you can grow a proper period.
03:20:17
Speaker
I just and you like like to be humble. Until you can grow a mustache like his, you can't say shit. Okay, actually, I just took me a while to get it. I'm proud of this. is This is my only soul patch. Johnny, you're a heartbreaker out there. How many women you got lined up? That's definitely not default. Well, it's been many, and I've already been a husband to somebody in my life once, so there's that.
03:20:44
Speaker
Oh, really? Yeah. Tell us. yeah i Wait, what? You have phone in your body that says what? I might have been... That's what I heard. I can't hear shit. I might have been married for four years.
03:21:01
Speaker
You might have been married. You have been married for four years? was. Big was. Big was. Big woman. what I mean was.
03:21:16
Speaker
and it Straight out of high school, get my diploma too. ah tos On top of on top of i don't do it. Hopefully. Hopefully. No kids.
03:21:27
Speaker
ah but there was There was an almost. don't want to talk about that very often. and well You don't have to. you have to no No, no, no. We're not getting into that. No, no, no.
03:21:38
Speaker
There's probably some out there. No, no, no. They're there. He don't know about them. They were born with mustaches. Yeah. i start a scream some Three d default kids. She walks up and has a fucking mustache just like Johnny and shit.
03:21:58
Speaker
That's not my kid. ter Jerry, Jerry. That is your kid. His sideburns go on too long. Sorry, I brought it up again. i didn't mean I only ever talked about Pops once and it was on Facebook.
03:22:12
Speaker
Really? how good Seriously? My mom left when I was sevenfold, so we good. Wow. Oh, yeah. What happened to your mom? I've never spoken on your wife. She left when was 10 months old?
03:22:25
Speaker
She left when you were on pills? on I was 10 months old. Oh. Holy shit. I did not hear you. Her her husband was in jail. It was in the same prison cell as my dad.
03:22:42
Speaker
Would it be really bad if I laughed and pointed at you? I don't give a fuck. Okay. Well, you understand why I am the way am now. just being an asshole. I don't blame that.
03:22:55
Speaker
I don't really give a shit. I don't mean that. That's terrible. That's terrible. I'm just trying to be funny. I don't... Literally, I don't give a fuck. It's literally been my life for 31 years.
03:23:08
Speaker
know She's a stupid bitch if she left you. That's all I got to say. yeah yeah No, I mean, we're cool now. um yeah um Oh. twist. Holy shit. Didn't see that coming. Her and I spend mad weed together. It's awesome. yeah Oh, nice.
03:23:26
Speaker
I'm going to need more coffee. She's still with the man that was in the jail cell with my dad. He got out a little bit earlier. then Grandparents.
03:23:39
Speaker
but My grandparents gave him a place stay and that's where my mom cheated on my dad with him. He blew up his ex-wife's house. okay No. He was a Marine too, by the way. This this was my introduction.
03:23:54
Speaker
This was my introduction to Brittany when I first came on on panel and his it was like 30 seconds after she told that story. wolf okay Wolf cat, wolf cat, wolf cat. Yeah, now we're cool now.
03:24:06
Speaker
he He grows weeds. it just blew up my mom's house or something like that don't know no it wasn't my mom was his ex-wife's house oh yeah don't know i can't follow that that's whatever i can't follow it sounds like it was a very amicable divorce there's a lot to it can you stomachmer We got really drunk together one night and she cried. She's like, I'm sorry. I just thought you would be better with your dad because I wanted to do a bunch of crack.
03:24:38
Speaker
Sorry. She's right. She made the right choice. there's that Smart woman. I can't take care of a baby when I'm smoking crack. I should give it away.
03:24:49
Speaker
That's a smart person. I love you, Brittany. Just not as much as crack. Is your real name crack? She wanted to name you crack? No, she wanted to name me Chanel.
03:25:00
Speaker
Pipe. Oh, shit. no she wanted to name me she wanted to name me chanel pipe um but mean I like when people name their kids for things they can't afford.
03:25:13
Speaker
was either Chanel, so I'd be like Channel Cox. Or Mercedes. or Or, no, no, Fallon. So I would literally be Fallon Cox.
03:25:26
Speaker
yeah Oh, shit. Oh, thank God that didn't happen. No, I kind of wish him did because that'd be funny as fuck. Yeah, it would. Have you ever accidentally fallen on a cock?
03:25:39
Speaker
Jedi, he's talking to you. Yeah, Jedi. Damn it, Moe-Di. You fucker. That was good. The answer is yes.
03:25:50
Speaker
the answers yes No, no, that was no. direct did that It's accidental. It's accidental. See, that's just it. He hasn't accidentally fallen onto a cock. Oh, come on now. God damn it. He didn't say he's not falling onto one. Not one. Where are we coming?
03:26:12
Speaker
Coming on what? Cannonball on a cock. Cannonball. No, don't work. His logo is hiding my shit. Perfect. Good. You need to be censored. The logo.
03:26:26
Speaker
Well, I'll give you guys a break for a second because got to go take a piss. If you want to boot me, I'll understand it.
03:26:33
Speaker
Boot him. Hurry. we Just turn your mic off. You know, we we james ottaman you know we we... Just kidding, Bradley. keep letting them go we We keep letting come back.
03:26:44
Speaker
they has like i'm not I'm not even in control here anymore. so You kind of tapped out, Blake. Are you okay? What's going on here? talk about He's ah looking at pussy pictures. Take care untrackable. Be good, man.
03:27:00
Speaker
i know midget po you got You got to put the midget down while we have a panel. Oh my gosh, have y'all ever watched Midget Wrestling? Johnny Bong keeps Snapchatting me. but i watch Johnny Bong's mom keeps Snapchatting me. What? what you to be a Are you going to be Johnny Bong's stepdad? I might.
03:27:22
Speaker
You need to come up You need to come off. Sarge, I told you that. Sarge, I told you that. What? That was like a job. I just popped it like, what the fuck?
03:27:32
Speaker
i and grow that a jar poppped it like what the fuck What's going on here? The second I heard my name, I was like, what? I've seen professional comedy skits that weren't as well-timed one. It wasn't just that you came back into frame the way you came back into frame. And the best part is I still do a goddamn thing.
03:28:01
Speaker
oh Oh, you have a new stepdad. You have a new stepdad. He just heard his name. When I become Johnny Bong's new stepdad, I'm taking all of his Buffalo Bills shit away from him. And the only thing he can wear is Cleveland Browns. You monster. You monster.
03:28:16
Speaker
and you monsterka i know what was
03:28:23
Speaker
I'm just Johnny Boggs screaming like, you're not even my real dad and is walking in and slamming the fucking door behind him. I don't have to listen to you, fucker.
03:28:38
Speaker
He's got his bong in his hands. You're not even my real dad, you son of a bitch. The first time I've tried that shit with somebody, i got kicked out of the house. Me too.
03:28:49
Speaker
raise You can't make me get back with my ex-wife. Fuck you. Oh, shit shit. You can't make me accidentally fall into a cock.
03:29:04
Speaker
You're not my real daddy. Well, Glick, thanks for having me up, man.
03:29:12
Speaker
instructed and taking you guys with me to make coffee but glick thanks for having me up man I drop, brother. I got some shit I try to get done. heyar hey Good hanging out with you guys. ma Always a pleasure. Sarge. Good hanging out, man.
03:29:26
Speaker
I think you're beautiful. That was so fun. Now I can't leave fast enough. hanging out, man. Enjoy the rest of your weekend. too. Later.
03:29:36
Speaker
now now i can't leave fast good hangout man you guys hit enjoy the rest of your weekend you too chat later um I wish I could have put you in places. Oh, my goodness. My bad. so here that i'm stressed that I'm bringing you up with me over the microwave. What?
03:30:04
Speaker
I put lazy in charge, but I'm the only one who has any actual power in this panel. oh the Those two need to keep doing that the rest of the stream. The minute they tap, we end the stream.
03:30:15
Speaker
oh Oh, shit. You ruined it, Brittany. Hi, everybody. i There we go. oh that been A lot of people ask me to do that at festivals when they're tripping. They're like...
03:30:35
Speaker
You can do anything. You can do anything.
03:30:40
Speaker
And then I know how to moonwalk like a motherfucker. And people love that. You can moonwalk. Hold on a second. want to see that. don't know if I can show you on here.
03:30:55
Speaker
And if you don't do it like a motherfucker? I'm going to do it like a motherfucker. I'm going to do it a father you can't you can't say something like that and then You can't say something like that, and then when you get called out on it, make excuses.
03:31:13
Speaker
That's a statement to say. i mean they'd be like maybe like if i was i'll be like that would be like a if i said I can a triple-spirning thing. I can toss him around like a motherfucking rat dog. I wish a motherfucker would say I couldn't.
03:31:30
Speaker
And Jedi would be like, I wish you'd try. And then be like, all right, bring your ass over here. And then I'd wrap it I'm so fucking confused. Let's see if I can do it on my bed. You're going to fall and hurt yourself. Don't do it. No, I'm very confused. What? That was the worst idea I've ever even heard of. That's something Bradley would have thought of.
03:31:48
Speaker
The whole thing with moonwalking is sliding your feet quickly. Why would that ever even considered out bed? thought she was supposed to fall like Ric Flair. Y'all can right on up. Britney!
03:32:00
Speaker
the whole thing with moonwaling is sliding the quickly like why would that considered and just fall down like rick flairre you so yeah yeah great me it's like she did a rick flair flop she she she she rick flair flopped all right now now i'm doing i'm doing this i'm doing she is motivated umm fucking do you fuck around and but yeah
03:32:34
Speaker
did i'm doing it hello it's sorry my rooms are fucking i' you <unk> Bradley, get your horn out. Get your tootie tootie out.
03:32:45
Speaker
Whoa, wait. Which horn do you mean? The who who easy honky Ready? oh This looks like Schindler's list.
03:32:58
Speaker
This looks like the deleted scenes of Schindler's list. You got a full screener. What is is happening right now? Brittany, Brittany, Brittany, got to do it again. Brittany, you got to do it again. We need you on full screen. Full screener. screen screen like Full screen. Full screen.
03:33:12
Speaker
Full screener.
03:33:15
Speaker
Oh, my God. I don't know how to full screener. What do you mean? You got to do it again. I was like, I need kick it.
03:33:23
Speaker
laing repeat this christ wait for There should be a little box on her profile on StreamYard can click the full screen.
03:33:36
Speaker
and What is happening right now? There's a box on everybody's thing where you can click it. I think I got it. There we go. You do it again.
03:33:50
Speaker
yeah yeah Here we go. Oh, shit. You can't move on like a motherfucker or a father fucker, whatever. oh look at that.
03:34:03
Speaker
That was awesome. All right, one more time.
03:34:09
Speaker
yeah that was awesome okay hi well your time Okay. Don't do it with your chicken Fuck you with the chicken legs. That was awesome. I lost a lot of weight, man. sorry.
03:34:21
Speaker
I'm sorry. She's just on the floor drinking now.
03:34:31
Speaker
ah real back it just on the floor drinking now The professional idiot in the chat, Michael Copenhaver. Michael Copenhaven.
03:34:45
Speaker
What's up, Michael? like what Michael, get up here and fuck her around. Come on, bro. sit up
03:34:55
Speaker
Uh-oh. Somebody gave Bradley healing. You're going to get kicked the fuck out if you keep saying that shit. you Yeah, leave her. We can't make fun of her. We can't make fun of her size. Come on, Brad. Brittany, that was awesome. You are fucking good at moving. That was awesome. excellent That was legit.
03:35:16
Speaker
Skinny shaming is still a fucking thing, so fuck right on off. Right on off. I mean, it was good. was a moonwalk. It was definitely moonwalk. don't give us shit. Thank you. I know it's better. it I won the competition at the Dew Tour at the beach. Hell yeah. Very good moonwalk. That was a worked way better on the floor than it did on the bed. you know Like the blanket would come again and like. I was gonna say, what even crossed your mind and think that was a good idea?
03:35:49
Speaker
But you, you redeemed yourself though. That's the important thing. You redeemed yourself 100%. hundred percent My fingertips were gripping onto the blanket. yeah morning
03:36:02
Speaker
She's stirring up them sheets. oh my good I can make fun of myself, but don't. Yeah, Bradley, too. I'm sorry. No, no, no, I'm not doing that. No, no, I won't do that. No, no, no, no.
03:36:14
Speaker
I apologize. No, no, no, no. I'm just being stupid. You know I'm stupid. Just make a stupid, stupid joke. That's all. That is all. I apologize. Sometimes I'm stupid and I don't realize. It's like okay. It's okay. I know you got bigger titties than me, but it's all right.
03:36:33
Speaker
It's true. I can wiggle them. You wiggle your teeth. I'm jealous. No, I'm just kidding. A bit.
03:36:44
Speaker
A little bit. e It's all right. We're all good here. We're all good. I loves you all. This is good. yeah I'm just being stupid. you ah think investigation What is he?
03:37:03
Speaker
spending Oh, I thought he was singing. He's talking to his phone, but he's muted. Who's singing? I thought it was him. ah thought it was Glick. But he's muted and talking to his phone. I thought he was singing. and if Somebody is singing. think it's Tim Pong's.
03:37:18
Speaker
i hang it over can It was I was singing. The voice you heard was me singing into my phone. It terrible. It fucking sucked.
03:37:31
Speaker
I don't think it was. you i you' mut No, was It's I'm doing it. That's me. It's him. It's him.
03:37:41
Speaker
i'm doing that that's me and so if the will chair one It's not you. Who's doing that? and think It's me.
03:37:55
Speaker
he's judge Jedi's muted. mother fuck It's not Brittany. It's me. It's me. yeah we i think he I think Johnny's saying that it's him, but I didn't see his mouth moving.
03:38:08
Speaker
um'm a I'm a and I have my hand shoved up Johnny's ass.
03:38:16
Speaker
yeah yeah so yeah do know ro might Never mind. Do it one more time. that's his candle Just give me one more chance. just Oh my. I'm sorry, Johnny. You know, I got much love for you, bro.
03:38:34
Speaker
Likewise. Always. You have my actual phone number, so. You're fucking good.
03:38:44
Speaker
your flying Yeah, man. What is more? Just handing your fucking Snapchat and phone number out? You're just je handing your Snapchat and your phone number out on a randomized weekend list here.
03:38:59
Speaker
You can't even take my fucking word and use it against me, bitch, first of all. I can't. First of all, bitch, you can't go to my network and talk to me like that when I brought you on here.
03:39:15
Speaker
I fucking create.
03:39:19
Speaker
Somebody singing again. Who's doing that? <unk> but You're talking. I saw. I know it's not you.
03:39:29
Speaker
It is me. Who? It is me. It's Jedi. No, it was me the past three fucking times. They were fucking with him, Johnny. I don't think so. I don't know. They were starting to fuck with me for a minute. Holy shit. Holy fuck. Yeah, double teams.
03:39:52
Speaker
Let's go. think at a lost brain self What's going on? i um Oh, They don't know. i think time with peter ah I'd really like to know just what song you were singing.
03:40:08
Speaker
Bradley, I have a coffee filter, okay? That is not the answer to the question. but want to know where it's going to go? Is there a song called Bradley, i have a coffee filter?
03:40:24
Speaker
Sometimes. It depends on what the mood you're in. Uh-oh. Please. assert unit for copy filter Please don't do this to me right now.
03:40:37
Speaker
I can't. Do what? Do what to you? Doo-wop, doo-wop. but are you What are you doing? Oh, my God. Bradley, did you even subscribe to the Lazy Glick OnlyFans?
03:40:48
Speaker
I did. you oh my God. OnlyFans? I'm going to need more glasses. Some good stuff on there. I'm going to need a lot more glasses. Is there penises? No.
03:41:00
Speaker
Brittany's got boogie fever. She sounds like a Muppet.
03:41:07
Speaker
oh shit brittanney's got boy fever wo looking at but she sounds like a muppet but child With all this stuff. That was great. I usually do it really good, but I'm trying not to be loud. because No, no, no. Go ahead. No, it's me. You're all good.
03:41:30
Speaker
You're fine. Go ahead. Do it. Are you going to pay my roommate? Do it. are you gonna pay my roommate now um oh that's definite holy fuck do it
03:41:49
Speaker
Do what? Are you smoking? She fainted from laughter before even started. So it's going to be good when she actually composes herself. yeah Oh, shit. Angel's heading home. Angel's heading home. Hey, let's go.
03:42:12
Speaker
You don't really me.
03:42:16
Speaker
Is it okay if I support on the show? Do what? Why would you disrespect why would you just i like my I'm in charge. I'm in charge.
03:42:29
Speaker
It could be tobacco. I give you a rubber stamp. It's approved. It's approved. I don't know. I'm sorry. You're in charge. There could be tobacco. would you ever smoke weed on that? No, no no do shit not i'm I'm not.
03:42:46
Speaker
You're drawing more attention to it than is necessary. I'm smoking tobacco. Jedi's in charge. in charge. I'm in charge. Do it. I'm just smoking tobacco. doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Shut up, honky, and do it.
03:43:01
Speaker
Tobackey, not wacky tobacco. Even if it is, you two don't care. You smoking that goddamn devil's lettuce? That goddamn lettuce. It's legal where I'm from, I don't give fuck.
03:43:14
Speaker
You smoking that demon fumes.
03:43:18
Speaker
likedding mean back going view you know what's awesome? You get those weed pipes and they say that you can be not you used for tobaccos. so so You can't say that in the store, though. That's the places where I don't have it fully in the yard. They would say for tobacco use only.
03:43:36
Speaker
So, i mean, they can be used for tobacco. Well, that's why you can't say bong. have to say water pipe. but know Yeah. Who the fuck would say bong? Could imagine? ah out of a ball could you imagine people People smoke out of hookahs. Those are... I miss my hookah, yeah.
03:43:54
Speaker
Hookahs are kind of nice. o That's a waste fud, honestly, in my opinion. What? You wouldn't smoke tobacco out of a billabon? No, I mean, I have.
03:44:06
Speaker
But I'm just saying, because like you burn the shit out of so much fud. You would smoke tobacco out of another asshole. Look, the trick is with a hookah, you just have to light the top bit evenly. Yeah, I know, I know.
03:44:22
Speaker
But a lot of people don't know how the fuck to do it. I'm saying have to, like, hammer. Somebody else. I'm sorry, but I think. Love it. Like i'm sorry but i think love casual ah like what he was goingnna hear a jenna and i got oh we to a fucking egg Glick is my spirit animal. I got you by that.
03:44:55
Speaker
I want a bong or a pipe. Because you're my spirit animal. It's like a lower half of a man. I want a pipe or a bong that's like the lower half of a man.
03:45:08
Speaker
Direct penis. And you could like pack the anus. the anus and like i feel that do i hit you you know like How do I kick him?
03:45:19
Speaker
oh Oh, come on. That's a good idea. I mean, at this point in time, I'm sorry. You know what? Do your flu. like try not Do your flu. crazy but like Do your flu, that's right ratherley beginning judge Bradley, do you have special needs?
03:45:38
Speaker
That's right, Matt. Now, I always do this. always go too far. Place that hat with the helmet, Bradley. No shame in that. Don't kick me. I'm glad that you're reading it. I don't have the power. You'd have been gone. Isn't that kind of funny?
03:45:54
Speaker
Quit packing the anus smoking the pack. Jesus Christ. While they're just fucking off? The legs will be spread. No worries. You keep explaining it I get nauseous every time.
03:46:06
Speaker
ready so no worryrries can you smoke through the you's explaining it and i get nauseous every time this this is Hashtag don't pack the anus. Hashtag don't pack the anus. Holy shit. No. No. Pack the anus. My spirit animal knows the right thing to say in this situation. Hang on a minute. Full screen fuck? didn beat me know yeah Aliens have come to attack Britney.
03:46:39
Speaker
Aliens have attacked Britney.
03:46:43
Speaker
Everything's ruined so slow. My laptop cup is so old and bad. That's what it looks like when Jesus gives you a face. Oh, she's licking off one of the bulbs. The woman just gave me an idea. Oh, fuck.
03:46:55
Speaker
I wish someone would lick my bulb. Oh. oh for that you guys bro yeah You're not kicking me. The woman gave me an idea. Bulb.
03:47:06
Speaker
but look it again The woman gave me an idea. but both thirty so ins away but john Johnny Bong sounds like he's about 30 seconds away from giving Brittany the old wet board right across her face. Brittany, you're Or at least so don't hurt not they hot no not at all i used to put up no id that was like part of my job in the winter time don't know i'm stupid on christmas lights were you the although mine just broke this day a bunch of cheapies you know pandora jewelry why would we why would anybody other pay on this table yes i'm a gay guy so yes
03:48:00
Speaker
You have never given a woman a good gift then. I bet I still don't know I can talk about that. Pandora Joy is like those bracelets where they have like the charm. It was the gift they kept on giving. I can hear you and what you're showing me. It kind of looks shitty. So I'm pretty sure my girlfriend. I got her shit. that look like No, I don't have it. Oh, that's just a representation of what it's like. So suck my dick, bitch.
03:48:34
Speaker
Anyways. We have a... you mind Whoa. Tiger got out of the cage on that one. God damn. Let's see that jewelry. Let's see that jewelry. Oh my god.
03:48:46
Speaker
I don't have any of the jewelry. I'm saying that. Oh someone didn't love you enough to buy it.
03:48:53
Speaker
and She's going to fuck your day up now. as nice She's coming to find you. you better She's going to fuck your day up now. She's fucking done now. And we all get to walk it live.
03:49:05
Speaker
I'm praying for you, and I'm not even religious. bro ah Do you notice how high-pitched his voice got? He's terrifying. Shut the fuck up for a couple of seconds. I was going to say, you're going to do one of two things. Either Brittany's going to come unglued on you.
03:49:33
Speaker
Or I'm going to kick you out of here because you keep crossing the line with Brittany. I get that. on place just like If i'm talking, ah I cannot finish the sentence. Shut the fuck up. I understand it's funny sometimes. And I i can hang.
03:49:53
Speaker
You can hang. But chill.
03:49:58
Speaker
anyways all i was trying to say was i used to do christmas lights for the pandora jewelry guy he spent 25 000 on the christmas lights next year 50 000 that's it
03:50:12
Speaker
if you would just let me finish my goddamn sentence yeah i know i know will say this britney get rid of them britney X and A on the Bradley A. I don't care. Whatever. um That's all I wanted to say. Literally, how quick was that?
03:50:36
Speaker
Right? So what well You just got one string of lights from $50,000 worth of lights, or do you have more lights? That's my question. How many lights can we wrap Brittany up in tonight?
03:50:47
Speaker
Mm-hmm. um
03:50:52
Speaker
When she said Crystal, I thought she was going to say meth afterwards. It's going to happen.
03:51:05
Speaker
Brittany, wrap yourself up in all the lights so they can see you from space. Yeah. Basically, you literally could. Who spends $50,000 on lights?
03:51:16
Speaker
That's so many lights. The owner of the Pandora jewelry. what What's more expensive? Lights or fireworks? Fireworks are pretty expensive if you spend that much on lights.
03:51:28
Speaker
Well, they leased them out and we kept them in our warehouse and then we installed them and took them down. ah Yo, and he had a private chef that would make us food.
03:51:41
Speaker
It was tough. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. That's what's up. When I used to work for Two Minute and Shark back in the day, it was moving company. and i And I moved a lot of a lot of rich people, high-powered people in the area.
03:51:54
Speaker
And that was always the cool thing. like They always took care of us like as workers. And like Brittany said, that guy had a private chef who took care you guys. like rich people Rich people, they will take care of the people come and do the things that they don't want to do.
03:52:11
Speaker
That's good. They should. and Yeah.
03:52:17
Speaker
but yeah Sorry I blew up, but man, I hate getting cut off so many multiple times. oh ah burtany I'm sorry. I apologize. I'm just...
03:52:33
Speaker
Nobody has power here but me. I'm the only one with power. Even though Jedi is in control. I feel like Jedi should have taken control the situation because he's one driving this bus tonight. In the words of Blaze, this is my fucking network.
03:52:54
Speaker
and the words of blaze this is my fucking network in this shoes remove yeah okay You don't even have a timeshare in Glick's beard, Brittany. Come on i No, thanks.
03:53:13
Speaker
We're good. That's the insist. I will say this. um i will say this like Much like Blaze, brittany does does something does do something like blaze does When I tried to put her in the driver's seat, she said, ah not today, motherfucker. I ain't driving this bus.
03:53:30
Speaker
This is on you. When Rick brought me in here, that was the understanding that I had was like, it was all your like thing.
03:53:45
Speaker
it's I mean, yeah. Yeah. okay yeah Yeah. Kind of, sort of, ish. But... budget No, its but about finding people it's all about finding people that is artist like so find people that just want to do the same thing sch that are not like Bradley.
03:54:06
Speaker
But we have to be nice to Bradley because clearly he has special needs. Oh, shit. volumes. but she just had to go but get right speaks volumes Brittany is smoking and drinking.
03:54:28
Speaker
She already had that whole book. I don't have a sound effect. All you got to is give me the signal. I'll Ixnay the Bradley A. i All right. I'll let you know.
03:54:39
Speaker
Should I call it a night then, you guys? i can i can I'm trying to stay stay cool, or would you like me to... thanks
03:54:49
Speaker
cool exactly i left if you're saying saying do the fliming well that's her any much like the roman Much like the Roman gladiators. Thumbs up or thumbs down. Yeah, yeah, let's do that. does but i hide Or does he go?
03:55:08
Speaker
Yes. Are you not trying to change? He's calmed down a little bit, so we're good. This is Sparta.
03:55:18
Speaker
Holy shit. Maximus. As long as we keep I'm going to keep it chill. I'm going to keep it chill. All right. It's as nothing personal, Bradley.
03:55:34
Speaker
If she gives me a thumbs down, it's nothing personal. And maybe you can come back next weekend. But if she gives me a thumbs down, you got to go for the night. We don't know. We don't know yet. Well, yeah.
03:55:45
Speaker
You're on thin ice, Brandon. Don't fuck around. I'm very, very easygoing person.
03:55:51
Speaker
I subscribe. Now Jedi's taking control. Jedi's like, they nice looks back in control. Hold on. Jedi's like, looks back in control. You don't let me, you don't let me boot anybody or full screen anybody. I don't have any control really. and my leave This would be a whole different situation.
03:56:10
Speaker
But you, but you do have control because I have all the control. And if need to, I will. I actually have control. biual up on yeah give me good actually have It is what it is. Oh, wait. Is next weekend? No, yeah, we're yeah we're live next weekend. and The 4th of July, we're not live. The 4th of July weekend, we're not doing anything.
03:56:34
Speaker
Next Saturday, I'm probably not going to be here. I am. It's going to be like 70. So there will be no nods on the network? seventy so there will be naing numbers on the network Well, i'll I'll pull it up on my phone for like a second and then you'll get to meet my family. Brittany, Brittany, you only have to show up if you want to on Saturday.
03:57:00
Speaker
I do. I kind of want to show you some of my family. If you don't want to be here. kind of what is I actually kind of want to see some of your family. I'm not going to lie. I'm so I truly am not going to lie. I want to see some of your family.
03:57:16
Speaker
and i want to And I want to talk to them. I just want you to hand them the phone and let to them. I do, too. i do too It's to be so interesting. I'm just to talk to them.
03:57:29
Speaker
It's just going to be me. It's just going to be me.
03:57:33
Speaker
like i i were gonna go I'm going to go dual screen. You guys can come up on the panel on the panel and be here, but I'm going to put me and Brittany's family on the on the screen, and I'm going to talk to Brittany's family, and we're going to dive into what made Brittany like as a young child.
03:57:49
Speaker
What made her turn out the waste? Come and get on the panel, Angel. ah young tab they one like they what made haircha now and get on the channel angel
03:58:02
Speaker
yeah Who's Angel? What?
03:58:08
Speaker
Oh, Trancho's name is Angel. ah Holy shit. and I didn't know your name was actually Angel. mean Angel. Can you
03:58:24
Speaker
and you hear me? Oh, yeah. yeah My earbuds died. um So half of my family is like Christian cult type shit and then half of them are Mormons and Jehovah's Witness. No, not Mormons.
03:58:41
Speaker
No. No. yeah So it's going to be an interesting mix. It's going to be like 60 people there.
03:58:53
Speaker
wow. Wow. Jesus Christ, just think if they spread out how many doors they can knock on. ah giving yeah Are talking about a family reunion? No.
03:59:08
Speaker
and No, that's not what it is? what is that's just your That's just your siblings? The Shore family. the shore family they My great aunt has four kids and all of them have kids who had kids.
03:59:22
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what is this meetup called? It's not a family reunion? He's not my uncle. He's technically my cousin, but I call him my uncle because he's older. Is your uncle cousin? They're 40.
03:59:36
Speaker
forty
03:59:40
Speaker
okay yeah Uncle Grandpa? know, when i walk away yeah sometimes when I walk away, I should really just take my earbud out.
03:59:51
Speaker
I hear things that really... or family too bri Oh, my goodness. I just need to stop yeah If he's your cousin, just call him cousin.
04:00:09
Speaker
don't tell don't don't Don't tell us that he's he's your uncle who's really your cousin.
Family Dynamics and Live Shows
04:00:15
Speaker
All that's going through our mind is Uncle Kyle. I almost died right there. too much i'm here for you I'm here for you, girl. You know I'm here for you. I got your back.
04:00:26
Speaker
But really, sometimes... sometimes try yeah yeah of the mirror and um my oh yeah um to the so sometimes Sometimes I'm just
04:00:40
Speaker
you and sometimes i'm just like i don't know how to bring her back from this guy and sir um thousand know i I can't. I'm trying.
04:00:54
Speaker
I want to, but I can't. yeah Either he's your uncle or he's your cousin. Don't ever put the two words together. I don't think those two things are mutually exclusive.
04:01:06
Speaker
Yeah, and depending on what you're trying. Roll Tide, baby. only friend.
04:01:14
Speaker
my dad's only friend like oh Britt, you are amazing. are amazing, Brittany. Hashtag only friends. Brittany, you're amazing.
04:01:29
Speaker
I'm ah i'm looking that I just want to say, Brittany, thank you for being here tonight with me.
04:01:41
Speaker
Brittany and I were talking before the show. and she's like what the fuck are we doing tonight i was like i don't know we're just gonna turn our cameras on and go live and whatever happens happens she's like fuck honestly most of the time that's the best case scenario you just gotta figure it out saturday night yeah that's that's saturday night's in a nutshell on on the nonsensical network that's saturday nights in a nutshell and i'm like you know i'm really offended that and nobody has customized me for christ's sake know right
04:02:20
Speaker
just one goatee what light brown dark what would you do I don't know if can. Why didn't we boot Bradley earlier? I'm wondering now. Yeah, I didn't ask you a question. yeah Yeah. I haven't been told to. I told Brittany, she as long as it's thumbs up, Bradley stays. But as soon as she... ah it It seemed like everyone wanted me to leave before, but since I didn't get booted, I kind of just tried to stay quiet. So you didn't boot me.
04:02:49
Speaker
i think i think i think i think i think you're I think you down. little i still drinking too comfortable. comfortable. Yeah, I'm trying. I'm still drinking. I got my head. Got a little too comfortable.
04:03:05
Speaker
When I keep talking about my weight, fuck know how to tone it down, so I'm trying. It's like you just white. Oh, I don't give about that. We can talk about her giant ass feet.
04:03:21
Speaker
Wait, what? Whoa. And her fingertips. I love that she has tattoo on your foot. What size shoes do you wear? Wait, you got tattoo on your foot? I don't have that big of feet.
04:03:32
Speaker
What size, please? Eight and a half feet. No, I truly don't think you have that. Oh, that's like normal for a woman. they Yeah, look that's not bad. They just look good.
04:03:44
Speaker
yeah
04:03:47
Speaker
I would have left if they were bigger than mine. i can't. Actually, we're gonna be live next week. You're gonna be drinking the next week to turn angel. reg What?
04:04:00
Speaker
Yeah, my little sister, she wears size 1213. twelve thirteen Well, she's, I guess, like my big little sister. Are you sure she's a sister? my that's how my owner ah that's how my older sister introduces me to her friends. This is my baby big brother.
04:04:18
Speaker
Yeah. It's so funny. I'm like six times. My it goes like opposite. The oldest and the youngest.
04:04:32
Speaker
Angel, yeah, that don't make no sense. You can't come up.
04:04:37
Speaker
Angel, that don't make no sense. I can't come up this week because you're drinking, but you drink every week. so What's the difference between tonight and mean next week? Tarantula, get your ass up here. Crawl your ass up here, Tarantula. Angel, Angel, Angel. Come on, Angel. Do it. You know you want to.
04:04:55
Speaker
I drink almost every day, you're good.
04:05:00
Speaker
you know you answer like you every day so you're
04:05:05
Speaker
and enjoy don drink apparently Apparently, I drink every day according to what you people think about me, but I only drink Saturdays.
04:05:16
Speaker
No, you don't. and Is that a bad thing? I do. I drink most days. I drink most days. I drink some days.
04:05:27
Speaker
Are most days all days? That's how many days drink. The days that end in Y?
04:05:36
Speaker
That's when I'm gay. that's when i'm gay Days that end in Y is when I'm gay. and wow We knew that already. If you don't drink in the morning, you're okay.
04:05:47
Speaker
No, that's the hair of the dog, man.
Trivia Nights and Humorous Animals
04:05:49
Speaker
I just watched this awesome documentary about Dennis Rodman when he tried to go over to North Korea. I heard about it on something.
04:05:59
Speaker
I'm still confused. Kim Jong-un loves Dennis Rodman. I can't even know what it's called. It's called something weird. It's called like Pakikani Tan and Pani.
04:06:09
Speaker
It is a weird title. I can't even pronounce it. It's awesome because he gets he gets drunk. he gets He falls off the wagon when he goes over there. And I swear to God, you get nervous thinking that he's going to get him and all his crew killed.
04:06:25
Speaker
He starts yelling in a fucking... He's over in North Korea in some fancy restaurant place, and he starts yelling at people because he's drunk and getting out of hand, and he bows at people you know later on. you It's not a bowing culture.
04:06:42
Speaker
North Korea is not a bowing culture. I'm saying culture wrong, but whatever. I didn't know that. I don't know anything about North Korean culture. I'm sorry I went off about that, but I'm done now. but If you want to check out, it's very funny.
04:06:58
Speaker
Dennis Rodman. So next weekend you're going to come up. People start working. don't know that. Next weekend, Angel, a.k.a. Tarantula, a.k.a. Angel. I do that sometimes.
04:07:15
Speaker
She says she's going to come up next weekend, but i also think last night, I believe that I seen her say she was going to come up next Friday for trivia. She said last was going to tonight.
04:07:29
Speaker
Oh, I didn't know that, but she said she was going to come up for trivia. So I get a new victim. i get a new victim to embarrass on trivia night. Wait, what night?
04:07:41
Speaker
Thursday? No, Friday. Not on citizenship. this this friday This Friday is this Friday coming up. Well, i actually, I don't know. Actually, I don't know. I don't know if I'll be invited. So you guys will have an easy night because I won't be there.
04:07:55
Speaker
I really hate that I stream on the same nights as people I want to go see myself. You know what i mean? like it's Like, I'm doing my stream, but I want to be on your guys' stream. all right We'll see. We'll see.
04:08:08
Speaker
We'll see if it will be. We'll see if I'm there. If I'm there, I get to embarrass it. if it's If I'm there, if I'm still allowed to be there, I get to i get to punish a new victim. It's going to be awesome.
04:08:21
Speaker
I know. No, it will be. It will be. umm gonna I'll get to the bottom of it tomorrow. Ooh. what the bottom owner speaking but britney means bri britney career Brittany brittanney and I are over here speaking in code. but yeah yeah I'm looking forward to i'm looking forward to to ah to dominating not only Michael, but a new a new victim that will get dominated next Friday. And then next Saturday, the shenanigans, maybe Tarantula will be here hanging out with us.
04:08:57
Speaker
Fuck yeah. Hopefully. um the um the Is that a pun? Because you said tarantulas hanging out like a a spider hangs from a web. is Oh, Jesus. You're itching.
04:09:10
Speaker
You're doing too much. You're doing too much. Get your chicken whistle. Get your chicken whistle. Too much. Less is more. Keep it simple, stupid. get you less system less ah forgive me a simple stupid yeah Yep, yep Bradley's like I'm trying I'm trying so hard I'm trying so hard, don't try so hard Yeah, I love how you start reaching Okay, alright, whatever Friday too Yes, next Saturday and Friday too Friday and Saturday I'm not going to embarrass you I'm just going to dominate you in trivia Like i' do to everybody who steps up In trivia On Nonsense and Chill
04:09:54
Speaker
um good Learn about them before. wait a minute Learn about them before i open your mouth. What?
04:10:04
Speaker
but She herself. She said to you before you open your mouth. Oh, ah wait. Oh, yeah. Translators are cool. Translators are good. I love fucking spiders. Yeah, they're furry.
04:10:19
Speaker
what I Everybody's going to either kill a spider or burn their house down. and I'm just like, spiders are dope as fuck. i i was right I never kill spiders, but i don't want them on me or near me. I just like' i like i will i acknowledge their existence. like I have some in my basement, and I'm like, you're cool. You're eating other shit. I don't care. I relocate.
04:10:47
Speaker
um ine every yeah Yeah, I'll put them outside before I smash them. You had over 100 tarantulas? Oh, Lord.
04:11:02
Speaker
Is that a stupid question? Is a spider a mammal if it's got fur? Yeah, that's stupid as fuck. i'm small right to it yeah I just to throw it out there. it's got fur It's got fur. Maybe it's a mammal. That is one of the characteristics. Maybe take second and
04:11:25
Speaker
Okay, hold on, Bradley. I have a question. and I have a question. Is this a racket? No, no, no, no, no. Everybody shut the fuck up. Bradley, have a question. Yep. What makes a mammal a mammal?
04:11:38
Speaker
Fur. No. I mean, that's part of it. Mammary glands. Mammary glands, too. like Live birth, warm-blooded.
04:11:49
Speaker
there's There's many factors that qualify as mammal. I hit my elbow. You're right, Johnny, you're right. It's in the name. all right shit Mammal mammary gland. I'm sorry. Thank you.
04:12:02
Speaker
They produce milk. they they yeah They give birth to live young and they have warm blood. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The key ones. He's like, yeah, yeah, I knew all this. spider could be a mammal. That's what they do.
04:12:17
Speaker
Well, they're mammals. They produce sea milk. Yeah, but seriously, I my elbow on the coffee table. Big fucking nasty egg sacks that creep me out. I hit my elbow on the coffee table. I don't know. Holy shit, your elbow is whiter than me, bro.
04:12:34
Speaker
All right. Thank you. da I'm just making sure. Thank you. i thought I was done. It's not okay. yeah mean I mean, even if it was the worst elbow injury ever, you're not going to die from an elbow injury.
04:12:47
Speaker
Play your flute thing again. You need to ingratiate yourself to the chat again. Let's go. Play your flute thing. zero dinner oh Take control of your chat, Lazy.
04:12:59
Speaker
What the fuck? I'm just joking. I'm sorry. i was pulling prank out you. I'm sorry. My elbow is good, though. I think I smashed him. Brittany, get control of your panel. We got elbow injuries up here and everything. We're going to have to do some paperwork so he doesn't see the the channel.
04:13:20
Speaker
Yeah, dude. okay yeah You can see right there. um No, we can't see shit. Other than a white-ass elbow. no No, no, no, no. Right there. There's a red mark.
04:13:33
Speaker
That's a white-ass elbow and a honky motherfucker. No. No. You can see that right there. hit it against the camera. And that means that you're responsible because I'm on your website.
04:13:47
Speaker
What? On your website? which They don't own YouTube, bro. My elbow hurts. the o he Whoa! Trangela, you broke your fucking toe last night? How did that happen? Did you stub it on his elbow?
04:14:07
Speaker
Look at the bruises on my fucking call leg, bro. From where? Trangela stubbed her toe on Bradley's elbow and broke her toe. And Bradley swung crying. Can I tell you guys the truth?
04:14:21
Speaker
I got this drink right here. I can't even finish it. yeah Please don't. Fucking finish it, you pussy. I was going to say this same fucking thing.
04:14:32
Speaker
I was going to say it. This fucking quitter in the middle of us, we ain't going to quit. this fucking quitter in the middle of us we play Fuck this motherfucker. Pussy.
04:14:48
Speaker
I'm not going to drink what I poured. Okay. Well, then get out of this country. We're going to deport your ass. Ice is on the way. What? Because you ain't got no ice in that glass because they're on the way.
04:15:01
Speaker
ah can't even. um Tell him, Johnny. Tell him. What? aye Yeah, the sky's blue. I still got one. Sky blue and the grass is green. The sky is blue. Johnny knows what's up. are green Yeah, and I'm usually out of it.
04:15:23
Speaker
I'm just going to start making goat noises at him.
04:15:28
Speaker
should that johnny bos Maybe should Maybe I should put the fate of Bradley Johnny Oh. Oh, Johnny, you got deal with Bradley. We're sick. I don't think there is any. No, I feel like we need to have one night where Johnny phones.
04:15:47
Speaker
There's no. There's a turkey call. Wow. Turkey call. Bro, do you know how many the turkey called wow but but button turkey call as oh do dead sometimes and miss told has to mirror oh hard bro do you know how many Fucking female turkeys just dropped eggs right now.
04:16:10
Speaker
Ew. Oh, you could see me back during hunting season, man. It was fucking great. They're so fucking moist right now. They are the moistest turkeys you've ever seen. Oh, my God.
04:16:26
Speaker
Their feathers are... Yo, that baster got the baster in. I... i I can't tell you how much... God damn it, Brittany.
04:16:39
Speaker
Hey, that's why it's Brittany, bitch. She knows how to bring that fucking thunder. Oh, my God. That is incredible. Holy shit. No, no, no. Her jerks well-basted.
04:16:57
Speaker
They mean Moises. Fuck, Moises. Fuck, Moises. ah Moins! Moins! Oh my god, it's getting so hot. you hear them turkeys are laying hard-boiled eggs. You know how many people might be watching this live and or...
04:17:18
Speaker
They're either watching this live or they're watching this replay and every time we say moist, they're going moist. gruing like But if they listen to everything else we're saying, then they're really on top of laughing. Laughter and vomit is a bad comment. like garling it sounds like You better shut off my camera before you see the vomit part.
04:17:46
Speaker
Do that again, Brittany. I wasn't there last night. I'm not doing it again, motherfucker. I'm not. You have to, Brittany. It's so good. i just like the way you gargoyled.
04:18:00
Speaker
I'm sure you did, you fuck. Wait. Wait. Tarantula, what did you tell me last night? oh
04:18:13
Speaker
wait trianta what did you tell me last night um About her breaking her fucking toe, you jackass. God. ah program Come on, pay attention.
04:18:27
Speaker
I wasn't even there and I know what you said. I don't like when you turn against me like that. I wasn't turning against you. I was sticking up for you. I was making sure that they didn't make you look stupid. I didn't want them to make you feel stupid. I didn't want to make... I didn't want them to make you feel some sort of way so I had to step in and interject with my manly voice.
04:18:53
Speaker
My domineering voice.
04:18:58
Speaker
Okay, back to Brittany. Brittany, can you gargle those again? That wasn't Brittany, that was me. Sorry.
04:19:09
Speaker
no You know, I'm going to start a GoFundMe to get Bradley some sleeves. Dude.
04:19:20
Speaker
We need to raise money. cause bradley His arms are so cold. They're shivering. needs sleep, people. We need to raise sleep. This is awesome.
04:19:31
Speaker
I'm going to start working out. Don't worry. Don't you worry. going to start working out right now You don't need it. Sleeps cover all your failures. You don't need to work out.
04:19:43
Speaker
Are you sure? Let's do it. and sure like let's do and and and um um Unless you look like me, i wear sleeves.
04:19:57
Speaker
Looks like you, big J. person so You only cover your shit up in tattoos. That good. like that was good Unless you look like me. only cover my shit with tattoos.
04:20:10
Speaker
Oh, also, now Brittany has a problem with tattoos. person You're right. What do i have to show off? I don't got any tattoos. I shouldn't grow my body. I ain't got nothing to show off.
04:20:25
Speaker
What the fuck? Just outside. Just go outside. Just go outside. Tarantula. I'm nice and moist. It's little over 100. It's hot as balls where I'm at. It's 100 degrees plus where at, too. Sucks ass.
04:20:39
Speaker
okay it's hot is balls right metes it's a hundred degrees plus where i'm at two so fast yeah i'm gonna it this was awesome you guys thank you for not fucking booting me out of here but i'm i will take the leave right now because i gotta get out of here so love and peace love and peace thank you so much Have a good night, Bradley. It was fun hanging with you, bro.
04:21:09
Speaker
I mean, if I had the power, would kicked you three plus times. But but i'm glad i i'm glad i and I'm glad I didn't have the power because I actually like hanging out with you, bro. I do. You too, dude.
04:21:21
Speaker
Yeah, I apologize for the default thing. oh You're cool, dude. Why are you apologizing for the best part?
04:21:35
Speaker
i know i know it's just gotta learn boundaries she got i was only joking i know done yeah but got Oh, cool. oh That's all that matters. Check out my show on Rumble, All That Matters, with Jerry Separdini, if you can. and coach your last Hold on.
04:22:00
Speaker
funny i got my pen of paper what's your show I do a show with my friend Jerry Shepardini. He's from Scotland. It's called All That Matters on Rumble. All That Matters. I'm going to check it out, bro. I got Rumble account. Because we we broadcast on Rumble, too. So I will check it out. All That Matters.
04:22:22
Speaker
Thank you, everyone. This is awesome. I love you, dude. I will hopefully try and stop in again. Or you'll block me. That's what you should do. no yeah If he leaves me in charge, you're Kathleen Doc.
04:22:39
Speaker
but Oh my god, Michael's here. I can leave. I don't have to be honest. You can leave. Ah, shit. I gotta go smoke now. Michael's here. I broke it. I broke my camera.
04:22:51
Speaker
dying i broke it i broke my yeah
04:23:00
Speaker
Oh my god, thank goodness. feel bad for my girl. know you were, Britt. That's what said. Give me the signal. What the fuck did miss? It should pop off. No, it doesn't.
04:23:18
Speaker
the fuck that i miss it should pop on doesn't it yeah no bradley bradley Bradley crossed the line a couple times and i had to and i had and I had to put him back in place he made a couple comments that he shouldn't be making towards Britt and I had to check him or change the subject but then she was trying to talk and he kept interrupting her and she wasn't having it yeah who wants to hear what those things with vaginas in them have to say
04:23:51
Speaker
I'm going to fuck you up right now, Michael. I say that in front of Sue all the time just to get slapped. I like that shit. Bring that rough shit on. Yeah, no, I went off a little bit. I'm not going to lie. Look, y'all that are a part of the y'all that are part of the fucking pray, the bullshit, like, fucking go off if you need to go off.
04:24:17
Speaker
ah and If you can't block somebody or fix somebody or whatever, let me know. All i was trying to do was show my fucking moonwalk off. That was a sick fucking moonwalk, by the way.
04:24:30
Speaker
Thank you. I know. moonwalk like a motherfucker. i went up against hundreds of people and I won first place at the competition at Zootor.
04:24:43
Speaker
Damn, that's fucking terrible.
04:24:47
Speaker
I'll pop a Smurf beer, dude. Fucking terrible.
04:24:53
Speaker
I'm so proud of it. Whatever, man.
04:24:59
Speaker
ah I'm encouraged you to get full on fuck-faced. and Don't allow me. Who's he's getting fuck-faced?
04:25:13
Speaker
I do not put the governor on anybody. You figure that out for yourself.
04:25:18
Speaker
you guys I think it's my internet. Angel's going to get full on Fuckface next week. So your friends last night were a little hmm. What's the word? You didn't stick around for the end of the stream.
04:25:38
Speaker
yeah I couldn't. I had some place to be. and i've still No, I know. I fucking he went on yeah everybody and Everybody left behind the stream.
04:25:49
Speaker
He had some place else to be. I actually kind of went down here and I was so fucking mad about it. Anyway, yeah, not my best. You guys make me cool. My wife, or not wife, the neighbor's wife, she like keeps complaining about me smoking weed on my own motherfucking property.
04:26:11
Speaker
i mean, is it your property? You literally live in the basement. Yeah. Yeah. And I... i It's on my own property. She's complaining because she has a foster son. She doesn't want to subject him to that type of life.
04:26:25
Speaker
There is a major response to that. Dog poop put it in a paper bag. You put it on your doorstep. You light it on fire. You ring the doorbell and you run away. He called the shit poop.
04:26:38
Speaker
He called the shit poop.
04:26:42
Speaker
yeah and so yeah you're like Yeah, come on in and bring that funny. And I'm like, fuck, how can I make this funny? du Do you see how silent I was for a while yesterday?
04:26:54
Speaker
I know. I don't give a shit how people act or feel, but it's just. to and Yeah, no, I was. No, it's it's your face. that Like when you keep your face away from it, you're not as funny.
04:27:07
Speaker
Like, but
04:27:11
Speaker
Holy me broken and weirdos i holy fuck. Full screen. and Full screen. I want to see that. I'm going to have nightmares. why way what are you doing you know so How do you go from looking so normal to have such crazy eyes?
04:27:32
Speaker
I'm not normal. You look normal when you're not doing it. Oh, Jesus. Lord. jesus lord or That fucking verb. Sue goes, you doing that down it freaks me out. I go, do what?
04:27:45
Speaker
Can you do one eyebrow at a time? No. I'm not the rock. Oh, come on, bro. One eyebrow at a time so easy.
04:27:56
Speaker
Dude, the eyebrow is easy.
04:28:02
Speaker
The eyebrow is easy. Maybe for you. My computer is running so goddamn slow.
04:28:09
Speaker
I can't function my eyebrows like you can, but my dick works every time. ah um My dick works every time. Ask your mom. Rude.
04:28:21
Speaker
Rude. My mom is saving herself for fucking Blaze. i know I know she is. Well, she hasn't met me yet. <unk>s yeah I'm telling you right now. She's all for Blaze.
04:28:33
Speaker
It was just all lips and no sounds. He had nothing to say. and He could not believe she said that. like Now you see where I get my sense of humor from. My mom is fucking... She's a funny old bird.
04:28:45
Speaker
yeah
04:28:49
Speaker
Brittany, if you had more light, we could see your eyebrow.
04:28:54
Speaker
the Eyebrow? Eyebrow? You said you could do the eyebrow thing. Oh, shit. She can. but she but you i but i i can read I can write my lifetime i and so who Can you do a cock push-up?
04:29:15
Speaker
Yes, I can. I learned from... yeah I love that movie. ne I wanted to ask you earlier. Kurt Russell.
04:29:27
Speaker
brit Favorite role. Anytime you come, you're going to just envision that. Whoa. and I mean, maybe. You're welcome.
04:29:43
Speaker
I'm such a dick. I need time to go. She's cracking herself up. That's not good. Moe Dogg and I were talking about it earlier. Sarge and I were talking about it earlier. She's just in her own world over there and we're just hanging out. Like, we're just... You're welcome. She's the player and we're the NGCs. We were having a whole ass... Yeah, we were having a whole ass conversation and Brittany was ah ah in her little bubble over there just talking about something completely different and just loving life.
04:30:24
Speaker
It was like two Saturdays ago when me and Blaze and Carlos were talking and and no one else was. Mm-hmm. yeah Well, that's like when y'all talk and then Johnny Bonds and I are over here like having our own separate conversation. because y'all are talking Also, Michael, nobody
Documentaries and Comedic Highlights
04:30:47
Speaker
wants to see your fucking dick.
04:30:50
Speaker
Why don't you go in front of the camera? Look, I'm sitting here. And that is jeans, lady. You came in all slowly. You're like, oh yeah. Well, listen. I got big old white man balls.
04:31:05
Speaker
And they got to get adjusted or I'll sit on them So well, I missed it. oh Yeah, then you came back. It was like slow motion. You're like, yeah. Look, I'm not a believer personally. I'm not.
04:31:19
Speaker
non-denominational non non-believer and folks that do believe doesn't bother me at all i'm not here to disparage that shit but i will say this one thing about it if there is a god got to be a female has to be a female because no male god would have put my fault i've been saying this for years that's why i say everything you just fucking said don't care what other the people I don't believe but is if it I promise you and I will make funny you sons of bitches who go to church yeah fuck you Johnny Bones oh why are you actually talking that foul bro real quick I am Christian but I haven't gone to church in how many years because of that right issue
04:32:09
Speaker
dam Yeah, yeah, yeah. same what love Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. First and foremost, first first and foremost, Jedi and Brittany, pull your fucking panties out of your twats.
04:32:21
Speaker
All I was trying i not even aware on so but ah but trying to do is was wake Johnny up because I felt like he was falling asleep over there. and I just needed to get his attention.
04:32:33
Speaker
It wasn't even that fucking serious. No man with a fucking masculine stache like that falls asleep in the middle of a party. ah fuck now Thank you, bro. Your facial hair is on point.
04:32:45
Speaker
youre fifty theres on sometimes sometimes you't jump You jump rope. that's how good that mustache is sometimes sometimes you have to sometimes sometimes should you have to ah you have to throw throw a little gasoline on the fire to get Johnny Bong's attention, and and that way we can get those amazing one-lineers from Johnny.
04:33:09
Speaker
Never mind. Never mind. I was thinking a similar thing. Never mind. See, I knew I was doing it. if are you never mindd yeah she i know don't Don't ever jump my shit.
04:33:23
Speaker
I know what I'm doing. I'm professional host. There's to Glick's madness, and I respect you. There's always a method to my madness. He um makes it look like there's a method.
04:33:35
Speaker
He's shooting in the dark. even We know was just a happy accident. Either way, we're going to celebrate. Brittany, I'm going to go grab a drink, okay? Oh, my goodness. I'm going to tell Sue. Even when you guys think I've lost all control.
04:33:53
Speaker
iarying even even when you guys think lost control yeah Even when you guys think I've lost all control, I'm always in control, Jedi.
04:34:04
Speaker
I am the puppet master. that's false. No, no, no. That is false. it's not. Okay, I'm going to go back and watch some of these streams and get some clicks of these licks of you being out of control.
04:34:20
Speaker
That's going to be a new thing. I'm a Clicks and clicks. You know what, Brittany? You know what, Brittany? That's a good job for you. Clicks and glicks. I like that. That's a good idea.
04:34:31
Speaker
i love that. I love that. That's awesome. exactly you ah shit Sounds like you have a terminal illness and we're trying to save you with money.
04:34:44
Speaker
Clicks for glicks. We've got to save him.
04:34:48
Speaker
You don't watch documentary movies? He has amazing beard disease. We've got to fix him.
04:34:56
Speaker
Brittany's going to find all the clips of me completely out of control and and she's going to send them to me and I'm going post them on our page. She's going to still ignore them.
04:35:09
Speaker
Storny Cox. Ladies and gentlemen, Storny Cox. Y'all have me dying tonight. dying Oh my God. am. that's your job.
04:35:24
Speaker
Angel. You send them to me and I'll put up like i'll put them up on the social media. It's free flapping. Tarantula. It's not called free balling when you're a chick. It's called free lipping.
04:35:37
Speaker
It's free flapping. Free flapping. Flappy birds. You have some flaps. Nick is skydiving.
04:35:46
Speaker
Oh my. If you got roast beef, maybe it's free flapping.
04:35:52
Speaker
Calm down. going four Full Arby's with that roast beef. Yeah, exactly. we got hey She's the Arby's queen.
04:36:04
Speaker
Mommy.
04:36:07
Speaker
See this.
04:36:11
Speaker
What do you got going on there, Johnny? That's the roast beef we're talking about. Straight from the cow.
04:36:23
Speaker
Straight like
04:36:27
Speaker
from the cow. Just here munching down on steak, man. Oh, you son of bitch. I wish I had some steak.
04:36:42
Speaker
I'm a perfect businessman.
04:36:47
Speaker
Even better given the context.
04:36:54
Speaker
Holy shit. variina michael loves michael Michael loves my meat in his mouth, just so you guys know.
04:37:03
Speaker
You do have some fantastic meat. Last time he was here, I do. It's the condiments that make it the best. You turned me on to that shit. I've never tried honey mustard on a hot dog or a hamburger, and it was good.
04:37:19
Speaker
was amazing. and was a pleasure fucking money monster the entire the first time i The first time I ever met Michael, he came to my house and all he could talk about was how great my meat was in his mouth.
04:37:35
Speaker
yeah More than a pinch-fitting chicken. I didn't know you were cheating on me, Glick, so I don't know how to feel right now. First and foremost, Jedi, we're not in a committed relationship.
04:37:51
Speaker
You know you you know that you know how get down. I told him his a rolling stone i love you. i I love you, Jedi, but I don't love them.
04:38:03
Speaker
my spirit. Jedi's my spirit default animal. That sounds like I'm a lab rat.
04:38:09
Speaker
je my spirit default animal
04:38:15
Speaker
it sounds like i'm a labbra
04:38:21
Speaker
well like talking around how We got no lives. All we do is watch TV. Do you guys watch documentaries? I'm sorry. was funny. um watch I documentaries.
04:38:32
Speaker
um There's a documentary called Running with the Devil. The John McAfee story or something like that. Have you seen it? yeah Is that the tennis player?
04:38:45
Speaker
If not, watch it. Worst of watch it. Is John McAfee the tennis player? No, no, no. That's John McEnroe. Johnny Mac. John McAfee is in McAfee Antivirus.
04:38:58
Speaker
Oh, he got fucking yeah Epstein in a different country. Pat McAfee. Yeah. Oh, shit. Monday Night Raw and College Game Day and he has his own show.
04:39:11
Speaker
McAfee Antivirus. McAfee? No, that dude got fucking Epstein, though. Sometimes you just have to drop someone an island. Oh, are you talking about the computer thing, McAfee?
04:39:22
Speaker
Yeah. There's a documentary called Running with the Devil, the John McAfee story, something like that. Check it out if you seen it. Totally worth while. Is it on Netflix?
04:39:33
Speaker
I think so, yeah. now i'm um i'm sure i will i remember when I remember when he died, the articles that came out, but I didn't know they made a documentary about it.
04:39:44
Speaker
Yeah, I haven't watched it yet. I keep watching the same shit over and over again.
04:39:51
Speaker
Mortal Kombat! Taco Bell should bring back that for their ads. That shit was fucking i god and was sort of why did they stop using it have no idea it was so good grace sing yeah I think so. That's racist against who it was. No, it wasn't anything about race. It was about the whole healthy initiative.
04:40:27
Speaker
It was like, that's why they don't use the the cartoon camels for honestly cigarettes anymore and stuff like that. yeah If Panda Express used pets to progress their product, that would be a little bit more controversial.
04:40:43
Speaker
Oh, my God. If it's real. hand Dude, you know how great it would be had Panda Express and there was a real life panda in there. Oh, can I have a panda as a pet? I want a panda to be my best friend.
04:40:58
Speaker
Pandas are so cute. But they're also retarded. I was going to say they're like retard bears. Pussy bears. They're very no retarded. They're so dumb.
04:41:12
Speaker
Panda bears have special needs, but they're so goddamn cute. Oh my god, I want a pet panda. Just because they're Chinese doesn't make them handicapped. $5,000 and you need 20,000 acres of land to own one.
04:41:26
Speaker
No, I don't. I don't need 20,000 acres of land on a panda bear. My cousin and I used to look up 12 zone.
04:41:36
Speaker
and the twelve by twelve so Actually, you came in on a panda because they're almost expired or whatever the fuck it is. Extinct? Expired? They're coming up on their date.
04:41:49
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, their expiration date's coming up. They're almost extinct because they're retarded. Any animal that we have to save from the endangered species is because they're retarded. you no They don't know how to... They're no longer extinct.
04:42:06
Speaker
longer They're no longer extinct or almost extinct. They're expired. They're expired. They are expired. And you know what that means?
04:42:18
Speaker
Panda bear cottage cheese. Oh my gosh. I'm going to go in the bathroom. it got It got lumpy. who Who's going to be his first husband if he's the panda king?
04:42:34
Speaker
thing like back right my first time when when i would when i'm the panda king jedi will be my first husband hey hey do you know what i almost have i almost did an interview with tiger king but i fucking didn't because he was trying to raise money i would i i i almost pulled the trigger
04:43:05
Speaker
He wanted a donation for his legal fund, and I was like, don't know this is Smithy or not, but I don't was because it's his official account. Carol Baskin. Yeah, hell yeah. Bitch, Carol Baskin. Fuck, I might actually reach out to the county and do it.
04:43:22
Speaker
I'm like, he can't. He's in prison, so it's only not video. yeah videos i just I kind of was worried that people were going be like, that's not real if I did it.
04:43:35
Speaker
But at the same time, I'm like, I got to fucking come up with some decent questions if I'm going actually inter interview him. You don't think Jill Exotic. exotic. Yeah, he is. He's dropping the soap on purpose.
04:43:48
Speaker
He what? He's dropping the soap on purpose. Yeah, yeah, it is. Don't fucking... Shut up, MK, you bitch.
04:44:02
Speaker
but Sorry, MK, I love you. i didn't mean to lash out at you like that. I love you, MK. I just seen the comment up on the screen. MK is a good friend and my biggest fucking troll at the same time.
04:44:14
Speaker
Damn it, MK. He didn't even troll me right now, but I'm still yeah I always have it locked in order. Damn it, MK.
04:44:23
Speaker
MK fucks with me. andm MK is diabolical in the funniest way possible. That's why I love him. I love MK, but he always fucks with me.
04:44:35
Speaker
Yeah, that's what he does. that's What did you say about Belize, Michael? Where is he tonight?
04:44:42
Speaker
He knew you were coming, so he stayed home. When I'm coming, everyone wants to see him. That might be a private... that like That might be a private conversation. good to see you, fam.
04:44:54
Speaker
Damn it, MK. I'm innocent. You're a goddamn liar is what you are, Does that look white?
04:45:04
Speaker
What's happening here? You are Caucasian as fuck. Compared to me, no, but overall, yes. yeah You're that kid that was in powder, aren't you? Oh, man.
04:45:18
Speaker
Literally. My sweet little trans... Single fucking YouTube channel. You look like powder at Mikey, I know. ah Oh, gosh. My sweet little... My sweet little... My sweet little transparent NPC default character. I love you, Jedi.
04:45:37
Speaker
I like how my title has become a whole paragraph now. Great minds. It's a whole ass book. it's ah It's a whole ass book.
04:45:49
Speaker
I'm an encyclopedia of partenica. Hey, Glick, before I forget, the next Tuesday, you don't have a guest and you want to do Glick's House of Comedy. One of my dudes out of Pittsburgh area wants to jump in and talk to you.
04:46:04
Speaker
Wait, you have a Glick's House of
Comedy Show Plans and Music Debates
04:46:06
Speaker
Comedy now? but to is that Let's do it this Tuesday. Is he good for this Tuesday? Should be. guess that'll work 5 o'clock, it should be good.
04:46:16
Speaker
Yeah, let me know. He'll be there. Yeah, let me know. For real, let me know. I don't have anything going on this Tuesday. First and foremost, actually, in all honesty, Michael, if I'm going to interview a comedian, it should be you first.
04:46:32
Speaker
buts There's no need to interview me. There is. I don't fucking barely know anything about you other than that you're... nobody What do you want to know? I'm an open book. I don't know. I went with interviews, so like he knows the questions ask.
04:46:46
Speaker
don't know what I want to know. I've been drinking for like five hours. don't know. for question I questions. I have questions. have for Michael. Probably somewhere in my fucking dumb brain. First question is.
04:46:59
Speaker
First question have for Michael. Why are you gay? The videos that you send me at 3 o'clock in the morning every night. Okay. What can I say? I like showing off my sweet, sweet, supple body.
04:47:16
Speaker
It is sweet, sweet, supple body. I love that video. Over. Interview over.
04:47:23
Speaker
but i mean she so I mean, you know what? Sue might not think it. and What's that? That video. Sue might not think it.
04:47:34
Speaker
Sue might not think it, but she is a lucky lady. Sue is a lucky, lucky lady. No, no, no, no, no. no In every relationship, somebody steps down and somebody steps up. Call me the Jeffersons, motherfucker, because I am moving on up.
04:47:47
Speaker
yeah
04:47:51
Speaker
I it. I question her judgment. Do I get a picture for the way you're fingering me right now? I'm trying to find the damn video, but i don't see it in here.
04:48:04
Speaker
It might not be in here. and We played it once. i loveleting shit and Okay, you're your phone's going to have an orgasm.
04:48:15
Speaker
Not if I have anything to say about it. Johnny's... Johnny Bolls is about to have an orgasm.
04:48:22
Speaker
We i but might not be choking the chicken, but we sure are munching on it.
04:48:28
Speaker
Laughter Laughter Laughter Oh my yeah j God. I love you. joe You're the best man, dude. I would never expect that. You're always so.
04:48:44
Speaker
so love man good pe john did you know every every saturday Every Saturday night, he just comes up here. he doesn't say much. He just kind of hangs out with us.
04:48:57
Speaker
But he drops some of the best random ass one-liners you'll ever fucking hear on this show. People are great for that. They don't speak until they got something good to say. yeah but i was go to say yeah I don't talk often, but I try when I do to have something good to say.
04:49:12
Speaker
Nice. Nice, Angel. all right. So, yeah, this Tuesday, it'll be me and Michael, or it'll be Michael's friend, both And Michael, you're welcome to come up with me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely.
04:49:25
Speaker
Welcome to do what? Glick's House of Music. I'm up with you. probably yeah, yeah. Definitely.
04:49:34
Speaker
I can talk comedy all day, every day. I love that shit. glis Glick's House of Music is slowly turning into Glick's House of... Oh, that's what I was doing. mr I have two bands that want to do it.
04:49:48
Speaker
Huh. well Send them to me. They want to do what? What is it? What is it and will they fit? They're probably not everybody's types of music. One is more generic. One is like death metal.
04:50:07
Speaker
But they're both like my homies.
04:50:13
Speaker
Untravel is back. Wow, this is this a rare Saturday night event. we don't get the i'm gonna leave and then come back untrackable usually once untrackable leaves he's done for the night hey but look at it look that smile he's in rare form let's go that's my dude right there that's that's my guy right there yeah that's my homie right there well so hard why you smile so hard we need to know the secret but eventually
04:50:44
Speaker
He just went and banged his wife. That's what he did. He was like, I'm going to give you this dick. yeah He's like, I'm going to give you this dick, and then I'm to go jump back on the podcast with my boy Glick and all his idiot friends. youre like one fantastic beard there and they go yeah like yeah Honestly, though,
04:51:04
Speaker
that post-nut clarity when you're on a panel is amazing
04:51:09
Speaker
yeah i tell you like and track eventually on track war gonna eventually ah you he got late you know he just got so you know he just got some look at his donughnu ah um hang out to my but ear is right now yeah cant white this tip of my beard right now and Unshackable and I are going to hang out together eventually and all we're going to do is like sit down on in either his garage or my patio and just drink beer and show each other's beards.
04:51:40
Speaker
And it's going to be glorious. And you're both going to be smiling just like he is right now. just and don Don't waste my time. I have two hands.
04:51:52
Speaker
You know what I'm dody wait but One hand going have a beard. and the other hand's going have a beer.
04:52:01
Speaker
but Stroking and well-drinking. That's what's going to be... That's on the menu. That's the only thing... He wants to know the gentle caress of another man. I'm trying to get all the things... We could be so much more productive if we just rearranged the situation.
04:52:23
Speaker
but but Stroking and drinking and untrackable... Have you ever heard of the pretzel before?
04:52:32
Speaker
good
04:52:42
Speaker
That's a backwards hat. i thought it was a beanie. Hmm. Fantastic beard, buddy. Oh, do you think ah you think beanies are better?
04:52:55
Speaker
No, i didn't say that. i just thought you were wearing one. i didn't i didn't see the strap. Oh, okay. But I got beanies kind of my signature look. Me too.
04:53:07
Speaker
I love beanies. had some bandanas. I love every type of hat. yeah And not just to cover up my bald head, but because each and every one of them has a has a purpose.
04:53:21
Speaker
It's like, you know, some of them block the sun. You know, some of them absorb the moisture. Some of them hold in the heat. You know, there's all these things that hats do. Just have the right hat for, you know, like where you're going.
04:53:37
Speaker
Where are you from?
04:53:40
Speaker
I'm from the United States.
04:53:43
Speaker
I like your cadence. You got an interesting way to speak. Reminds me of an actor. It'll come to me eventually.
04:53:55
Speaker
Yeah, it's it's because I'm retorted. ah but you're at ah You're at the right group. but um Our Saturday night. or saturday night
04:54:10
Speaker
Man, I'm so fucked up. i can't even think. Yeah. It's the poor group. look at enter and Oh, yeah.
04:54:20
Speaker
Oh, my God, guys. First and foremost, untrackable. I fucking love you, bro. It's because I'm retarded. But I'm so excited right now because I thought I only had three beers left. In actuality, I had six beers left.
04:54:34
Speaker
If you're counting not enjoying them. Hashtag.
04:54:40
Speaker
Well, I need to know yeah I got to watch the clock. and if i need If I need to order more beer, I can only have a certain amount of time to DoorDash. You're from Ohio. 36 minutes.
04:54:52
Speaker
matthewo No, I have an hour to order more beer. MK, since you made this comment, MK, which one of us is which Avenger?
04:55:06
Speaker
Yeah, you got to go ahead. I'm interested to know. Okay, Glee. Okay.
04:55:11
Speaker
Why am I not in the cool crowd? What the hell, Angel? julie Only 26? I don't remember. I
04:55:22
Speaker
used to be pretty goddamn cool. Now Angel hates me. When's the next Cash is Cornered? like
04:55:32
Speaker
We were going to do it last week, but then then they wanted to go to the beach. So next Saturday, I'm hoping, maybe. We'll see what happens.
04:55:42
Speaker
If you can remember, throw me a heads up if you're going to do it, and I'll try to get my one buddy to join you guys, and you can talk to him about semi-pro wrestling and shit. And he's a comedian friend of mine.
04:55:54
Speaker
Good dude. Okay. And he's from... Yeah. He's from... Not Newark. Where's ah Wally at? Mount Vernon. Mount Vernon. Oh, that's where you're from. Wally's brother-in-law or some cousin, uncle, dad, something.
04:56:10
Speaker
Uncle daddy, what? That's me. Yeah. Let's not go to that. Brittany, you're a hot girl.
04:56:24
Speaker
but you're my hot mess yeah you that you're you're our you you're our hot mess brittan Steve, the Canadian, what's going on? And who let the goddamn Canadian in Jesus Christ, and anybody's welcome in here.
04:56:37
Speaker
Oh, you missed, Lazy. His face was showing. You just missed. He went out to smoke. thank you, Tarantula. Thank you. You never hate me.
04:56:52
Speaker
That makes one of us, Tarantula.
04:56:56
Speaker
i can't wait I can't wait to come to your wedding and when the when when whoever officiates it asks if anybody objects. I'm going to like, I know! You know he's officiating my wedding. What what kind of
Trivia and Iconic Film Roles
04:57:10
Speaker
jacket?
04:57:12
Speaker
and I'm just kidding. I love that guy. Nothing. I was joking. I love that guy. but What type of jacket? didn't see the show for that guy. Shut up, Glick. What's that, brother?
04:57:23
Speaker
What? but What type of jacket is this start with lonely heart yeahs
04:57:39
Speaker
This is a custom one I worked on. Shit. It's Panic at the Disco. What is that goddamn band? Not Bullet for My Villain. What is that? My Chemical Romance.
04:57:53
Speaker
yeah is that Are they the ones that did that that stupid parade song? Yes. but black My name tag, a rosary. And then you got the badge from fucking Halo. Oh, yeah.
04:58:05
Speaker
What is your name? It looks pretty simple. And then you get another one right around the cat. Don't. Don't. Music trivia.
04:58:16
Speaker
I got the ultimate question. No one's going to get it. You might be too young, Brittany, but some of these other guys got a little gray in them. You remember that shit? Of course.
04:58:28
Speaker
yeah There's the theme song. well well wow ah but ba um ba man now It's called Street Beater. The Street Beater. Who wrote it?
04:58:41
Speaker
i'll start i A fucking legend. but She said all fuck nuggets.
04:58:49
Speaker
Anybody know the answer? don't know. um but my um by wow out now what was that What was that? Oh my god, what was that show? Oh, fuck.
04:59:01
Speaker
Sanford and Son. No, no, no no that was so Oh, no! ah Scrubs. Scrubs. You ever watch Scrubs? Shame on you, Zach Braff sucks.
04:59:13
Speaker
Zach Braff sucks. Dr. Cox is the best part of that show. Hey, Cox, that's what's up. Yeah.
04:59:25
Speaker
I love Dr. Cox. And you know, that's my favorite. Duh. Well, that's what it's so You love Cox.
04:59:36
Speaker
We know. boom No, because it's my last name, too. You fuck. the Okay. I know. The way I said it sounded so wrong. Whatever. i don't give fuck.
04:59:48
Speaker
oh Well, that's all fine and then good and all, but, you know, some chicks do like Dr. Weenie. Both are right.
04:59:58
Speaker
You're not wrong either way.
05:00:01
Speaker
so so You know, some dudes do like Dr. Weenie. she sure hey we i' sure but So, who who wrote it? Because I honestly don't know that,
05:00:15
Speaker
michael Michael's not here anymore. Never mind. Holy shit. Technical
05:00:24
Speaker
difficulties. It's a Quincy Jones. Yeah, right?
05:00:33
Speaker
Was it Quincy Jones? Yeah.
05:00:38
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Peaking at y'all.
05:00:45
Speaker
I have munchies like a motherfucker, man. I did earlier. I was like fucking munchies. I smoked that bowl like two hours ago. Yeah.
05:00:56
Speaker
I ate so much today at work that I couldn't even eat when I came home.
05:01:04
Speaker
I normally eat once a day, but with what they got going on at work, they they gave us breakfast and, you know, as A sausage biscuit. a Chicken biscuit. Thank you.
05:01:16
Speaker
that That's awesome. And then they get ah wings and things for for lunch. and And then, you know, no there was no plans for dinner.
05:01:30
Speaker
However, there was leftover lunch. So I ate again before I even went home. That's how long my day was. But they fed the shit out of me and I normally only eat when I get home at the end of the day.
05:01:44
Speaker
So I had three meals that I normally have. I went home and it was like, I'm not even hungry. Just give me my beard. you have healthy poops?
05:01:57
Speaker
no so have I have poopy poops. i will not um I will not be artistic description of my boobs at this time. i apologize. You better say sorry about that motherfucker.
05:02:17
Speaker
I wanted to know about this shit. How the fuck are we at five hours already? I
05:02:27
Speaker
didn't want to do any more than three hours. don't want do anything. I know. i didn't think was going to make it past one hour. And now we're up to five hours. Hey, sometimes you... before are the some Sometimes you... was the show example yeah mark It's like, oh, give it to me, baby. Uh-huh.
05:02:52
Speaker
They wrote a whole song about it. And all the girls say I'm pretty fly for a white guy. Yeah. and and ba bla lamo little Those were two different songs. just just living in it.
05:03:14
Speaker
sometimes sometimes sometimes michael like the beatles said you just gotta to let it be
05:03:21
Speaker
oh remember remember yeah it's brittanney's world and we're just limiting like That's the same fucking song. what's that? It's And right there. Here you go.
05:03:41
Speaker
and did i make a rela so so that's exactly what it sounded like i but dear dear boy that was a plastic that shit right down it's yeah
05:03:59
Speaker
I slept like shit last night, so I'm barely here. Let it be. Let it be. Well, I'll put the alcohol and weed. That won't help either. Let it be. Let it be.
05:04:10
Speaker
No, that's
05:04:13
Speaker
the wrong song. Yeah, you were like, let Let it go. yeah that's the wrong song yeah you let it go let it go
05:04:28
Speaker
You're saying Frozen to the Beatles.
05:04:34
Speaker
Stop it. You give me flashbacks. know I the baby shark episode. i have the baby short hands I survived the living shit. Oh, fuck. Don't start with the baby shark shit. Dude, I just got that out of my head every day. Brittany earlier, you're Mount Rushmore of wrestlers.
05:04:59
Speaker
Snickers, chicken and waffles. It was supposed to be heels. Yeah, but we live... It's Brittany's word and we're just living in it and she's just making her own goddamn rules.
05:05:13
Speaker
Quincy motherfucking Jones wrote that piece of music. Oh, Brittany said that. She said that while you were having technical difficulties. She said Quincy Jones. I switched out to the iPad. It's a little better for me.
05:05:26
Speaker
better yeah ah but She might have Googled it, but i don't care if she Googled it or not. but No, no. You can check my phone. yeah You can check my phone through the interweb.
05:05:40
Speaker
No, I remember telling my grandpa. I'll be right over to check your phone, I guess. I don't know what the fuck's happening. Check my phone. She's going to mail it to you. You check it, and then you mail it back. Yeah, right. I can just pull up the history or whatever and show it to No one cares.
05:06:03
Speaker
I would rather get out of your history. We're losing Brittany. but What? Mountains? mountain yeah i Bro, I'm in great place here. Brittany was lost from the time she in here.
05:06:16
Speaker
Yeah. I don't know mountains. It's Minnesota. Public education failed you. I have a degree in spirit space. I'm supposed to be a teacher.
05:06:30
Speaker
And social studies. Yeah. Good thing you have the geography teacher. I don't want do too much. No, I don't teach at all. i yeah I use my powers for good instead. oh oh I was a teacher while I was still in high school.
05:06:50
Speaker
Did she just say saying I was a teacher when I was still in high school? mike Michael, did you just say you hate kids? I do. It was a long pause. You're like, yeah, I hate cats.
05:07:03
Speaker
It was almost like you were thinking out loud, which made it 10 times funnier. Oh, fart nuggets. My favorite pastime, killing 10-year-olds. Aw, love you.
05:07:14
Speaker
Thank you. America.
05:07:20
Speaker
Oh, my lads. What is Kurt Russell's best role? Um... um one Big Trouble in Little China. know What's his character name?
05:07:33
Speaker
I don't fucking remember. Jack Burton. What's the truck's name? I don't remember that either. not sure. I'm very impressed. You did your crazy eyes there. You threw me off. God damn it. I am crazy eyes.
05:07:48
Speaker
You are crazy eyes. The show one time, this lady in the front row, she's like, God damn it, dude. You so know what? I'm not going to say big Trouble in Little China is Kurt Russell's best role. I'm going to go ahead and say Tombstone is Kurt Russell's best role.
05:08:01
Speaker
Yes. Okay. That's great one too. I forget what all he's in. anyway keep putting Big Trouble no tell nickham in movie. wider last boy Wyatt Earp is the... But the problem is Wyatt Earp was also in... second banana Fucking Val Kilmer stole that movie.
05:08:23
Speaker
Val Kilmer stole that movie. I fast forward to watch his part when I watch it again sometimes. That's how good he is in that. That line, that Kurt Russell is Wyatt Earp, that line, you tell him I'm coming.
05:08:39
Speaker
And I'm bringing hell with me. Yes. year That's legit. And then that man walked into the middle of a river five on one. And they were shooting at him.
05:08:51
Speaker
Legit. And not a bullet touching him. and he yeah and there Later tonight, I'm going to take my gummy, I'm going to high as shit, and going to watch Jim Stone. It doesn't have to historically relevant. It was just a badass idea. watch ah there's another Right, gets it He Great fucking documentary.
05:09:12
Speaker
however however however historically Apparently, the the story of that okay i had a is a true thing, is it is a true story. Wyatt Earp did an interview that he was the man that could not, quote unquote, he was the man that could not be killed.
05:09:32
Speaker
And apparently, that river scene was historically accurate. Where he walked into a gunfight and his jacket, his coat that he had on was riddled with bullets and he was not touched.
05:09:49
Speaker
Crazy. And that's been an interview and also quote unquote Jesse James told that in ah in an interview as well. That was a very well-documented story. and How true it is.
05:10:01
Speaker
Wow. I stand corrected. You're right. Tombstone's most outrageous shootout scene actually happened on the river. Oh, shit. I mean, that must be related because... That makes the movie that much more cool. Just because that's... You see a movie based on true events, and there's like one actually true event.
05:10:17
Speaker
I love the Wild West. I love the Wild West. I kind of do, too. and When they're done, right? Okay, you know my other? Okay, so I love Tombstone, but also love Young Guns.
05:10:29
Speaker
Young Guns was a great fun one. Oh, Young Guns is great. You got Emilio! Emilio Esteban! Emilio! I was like, Emilio!
05:10:41
Speaker
Do you know the best part of rockcklesber best part of that movie is when they're making fucking... where Okay, in Young Guns, they all take peyote. And then they're all just shooting shit, fucking hallucinating, tripping balls.
05:10:56
Speaker
And the one dude just fucking like, you guys see the size of that chicken? Yeah. I fucking die every I haven't watched that movie in years. I love it. Every time I watch it.
05:11:11
Speaker
I also like where where Billy the Kid is like what was like, what was the guy's name? He's like, I see you got Jack Clayton out there with you. and Yes. He pops up. Hey, with you no more. Hey, with you no more. He just fucking snipers his ass with a fucking revolver. Like, holy shit. love that movie. I'm going to high and watch all the Westerns tonight.
05:11:35
Speaker
Fuck the day. I do love both of you. You're going to get high and watch them. I'm going to take a gummy, wait for it to kick in, and I'm going to go ape shit. Here's a little trivia for you.
05:11:49
Speaker
Here's a little trivia for you. Young Guns 2, director, producer, and soundtrack.
05:12:00
Speaker
What is your question? Who did it? I don't know. John Bon Jovi. That was Bon Jovi's movie. No, it wasn't. Fuck off. Yeah, John Bon Jovi. That was all his movie.
05:12:14
Speaker
No way. He did the soundtrack. He did one of the greatest Bon Jovi songs of all time, Blaze of Glory and Young Guns 2. What? and don't know if he was director, producer, writer, or whatever, but John Bon Jovi, that was his movie.
05:12:29
Speaker
director Jeff Murphy. Spelled G off. G off. Fucking jerk off. Steve the Canadian. Whoa.
05:12:43
Speaker
A great soundtrack. Bon Jovi killed the soundtrack in Young Guns. Blazing Lord, great too. Written by John Fusco, directed by Jeff Murphy.
05:12:55
Speaker
Soundtrack, Blazing John Bon Jovi was somehow in the... Oh, shit! I forgot. Kurt Russell was in The Hateful Eight. I got Kurt Russell's movies pulled up here. He was in The Hateful Eight.
05:13:09
Speaker
He's been in a ton of One of John Carpenter's favorite actors to work with.
05:13:19
Speaker
Y'all are boring. You know, Steve, I'm kind of done with you for the week. Mm-hmm.
05:13:27
Speaker
Bye. Oh, my God, I want to watch that. Yeah, I might talk to you later. Hell yeah. Or wherever you're at.
05:13:37
Speaker
Yeah. But y'all are boring with these fucking busy shits, so I'm out of here. Wow, but you're just going to abandon the panel like that?
05:13:49
Speaker
Boo. I can't chime in, so no. Who's stopping you? Why can't you chime Goddamn, toughen up. Okay, guys, it's Brittany, bitch. Let's go, Brittany.
05:14:01
Speaker
Let's hear it. What do you want to talk about, Brittany? What are you tired? She's tired as fuck, bro. Why are you tired? Let her go to bed. He's like, we get her the fuck out of here, this bitch.
05:14:18
Speaker
I'm just giving you shit, Brittany. If you want to go to bed, that's fine. I thought she was only going to last an hour. An hour, five hours. I'm with Brittany, but unfortunately, I'm in... I'm with Brittany, but unfortunately, I'm kind of the guy with... I'm the only guy with any power here, so... It's never stopped you from babbling before.
05:14:36
Speaker
on. The Brittany fade out. Hey, guys. You don't have a...
05:14:40
Speaker
ah on ah but the brittany fade the brittany fade out hey guys you have known That is really a thing, isn't it?
05:14:55
Speaker
I do do that. yeah but i feel the Britney fade out. The battery is just depleting. Yeah. Yeah.
05:15:05
Speaker
like the battery's just depleting
05:15:14
Speaker
yeah
05:15:18
Speaker
No, I just like, ah when I can't comment on certain things, like, especially when I'm this tired, yeah. Or stoned.
05:15:38
Speaker
ah You experienced me one night and you're done with me? What are you? No, it's not a problem. no um Oh, Glick,
05:15:51
Speaker
you laugh like Seth Rogen.
05:15:56
Speaker
um That's what everybody says, but I don't hear and like st Seth Rogen has a very distinct laugh, and I've not heard that from Glick. When he goes, yeah but Do you know what's funny, though? Earlier when Bradley was on, I thought he looked like Seth Rogen.
05:16:17
Speaker
No.
05:16:20
Speaker
I saw him. I didn't think that at all. No. He kind of looked like somebody who just got out of the psych ward. Somebody who just got out of the psych ward? You would know everybody. He acted like somebody who just got out of the psych ward.
05:16:35
Speaker
You are the authority. Yeah, that was a bit much. hu Lesbians don't just eat that pussy. They hell gnaw on it.
05:16:48
Speaker
Oh. So do I. Am I a lesbian? Am I
05:16:57
Speaker
a lesbian trapped in Sasquatch's body? I am. Well, not Sasquatch's body. The hell. La la la la la. La la la la.
05:17:08
Speaker
La la la La la la la.
05:17:13
Speaker
bala la la
05:17:16
Speaker
Wait, that's
05:17:32
Speaker
what's good ah we
05:17:38
Speaker
i won
05:17:43
Speaker
have you been looking at any open mics or anything brity to get on stage again ah not Not yet, no.
05:17:51
Speaker
um I'm like just getting back on my feet right now. Getting shit figured out. Every minute you spend on stage is more important than college. oh for sure. one hundred percent
05:18:07
Speaker
pretty 100%. I paid off all my debt. Got a car. Got a place. How old are you? I'm 31. thirty one Good job.
05:18:17
Speaker
I was just ah in a shitty place. And I got out of it. so but now yeah but
05:18:28
Speaker
Yeah, she was in Baltimore. Then she moved to PA. I was not in Baltimore. I never lived in Baltimore.
05:18:37
Speaker
Baltimore has the important prison in America.
05:18:42
Speaker
This what, huh?
05:18:45
Speaker
Baltimore has the most dangerous prison in America. More stabbings and killings there than any other place. Do I know how to make a shiv?
05:18:57
Speaker
I don't know. um but app It's not that hard to make a shiv, Randy.
05:19:08
Speaker
You're not me You can't even call it a whore. You have to call it fun. You have to enjoy the blameter.
05:19:22
Speaker
You're like, hey, I put my soap to make the end of my soap sharp as fuck. You know what I'm saying? I put time into this. yeah like i I had to make a bar of soap sharp. You know what I'm so your bubble I mean, the fact that The fat kid from Deadpool 2 literally took a pin that looks like this and shoved it up his head. And that was his prison ship. My prison ship. It was a great fucking movie. The first two were so good.
05:19:54
Speaker
Thank you, Johnny. You're very welcome. great fucking movie first two were so good oh that and bolver re was kind of thank you danny very welcome I loved Deadpool and Wolverine. I thought it was great. and i thought it was i like Not only did I think it was great, but I loved the addition of but Madonna and and and and and and a handsome Deadpool.
05:20:19
Speaker
Who could not reach Henry. Madonna was in that shit?
05:20:26
Speaker
No, them the music was Madonna in that. Oh. Madonna's a Michigander. She's a piece of shit. Don't, don't. Oh, shit. so You shut your fucking slut face right now. Never.
05:20:38
Speaker
Never. Don't you dare hate on Madonna. Just inna just because she's 75 and looks like a've a velociraptor right now. Well, you know what? makes great music in the and her fucking let's well you know what she made great music in the eighty s and eighty s She made great music in the 80s and 90s, and just because she looks like a velociraptor right now doesn't mean you can hate on her.
05:20:58
Speaker
Sure it does. I'd do what want. My hot body, I'd do what I want. you know what You know what? That's your that's that's your right. that's your that's your That's your right as a white American. and you are wrong You can have your opinion.
05:21:12
Speaker
but all i mean um I feel like you're wrong. well Your feelings don't matter to me. I am but a humble asshole. It's my network, so the only opinion that matters is mine. I am the dictator here, and you're just a dick taster. I don't think I'm anything. Dictator.
05:21:33
Speaker
well well not be assphalt so be i am na here and you're just a dickcttar ah yeah i don't think i'm anytator or dictator What am I?
05:21:49
Speaker
yeah I'm a dictator. You're a dick taster. yeah That's what you get when you cross. A potato, a dictator.
05:21:59
Speaker
ah who
05:22:02
Speaker
I knew I was right.
05:22:07
Speaker
Taters. I love taters. yeah
05:22:12
Speaker
I'll take some of them. They're French rat potatoes.
05:22:16
Speaker
I reckon I like them French fried tigers. What the hell are going to do with that lawnmower blade, retard? I reckon. a Great fucking movie.
Celebrity Stories and Historical Anecdotes
05:22:29
Speaker
oh yeahway The little ah fry shop owner guy, the little fry hop or whatever, you know I'm talking about? The guy who worked in French. You know who that was?
05:22:41
Speaker
but ah That was... ah No, no, I was going to say... and John Ritter, but it wasn't John Ritter. Fuck. one I can't think of who it is.
05:22:52
Speaker
I'll talk about it. anyways. I believe, yes. From Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio, Jim Jarmusch.
05:23:04
Speaker
Shout out to Ohio.
05:23:08
Speaker
yeah John Ritter was the gay best friend. You're familiar with the Kurgan? From Highlander? Yeah.
05:23:24
Speaker
Played by Clancy Brown. look and Also the voice of Krabs. Also from Ohio. Oh, shit. Yeah. Ohio, not only are we the birthplace of presidents in Ohio, not only are we the birthplace of presidents in Ohio, and not only do we have a fuck ton of serial killers that are either from and or related to Ohio. but I'm right there with you. I knew the dude. He was a ah retired cop, but he was still on the auxiliary force or whatever.
05:23:57
Speaker
He led the detail that combed Jeffrey Dahmer's old house in Bath, Ohio.
05:24:07
Speaker
Oh, nice. When went in scene...
05:24:12
Speaker
Jelly Roll. Oh, it was last year the year before. I fucking love jelly. At Orange Blossom. I was like, jabbed him i was like oh my god, the the hotel.
05:24:23
Speaker
So the hotel
05:24:26
Speaker
the hotel that we that that we were at, I was like, holy shit, we're literally like five minutes away from Jeffrey Dahmer's house.
05:24:39
Speaker
So I had to i had to like go buy it. And there's signs in front of it that are like, please don't stop. Please don't slow down. Don't pull in. Blah, blah, blah. but The current homeowners. But it's liket like, fucking Jeffrey Dahmer's childhood house, bro, where he killed his first victim.
05:24:58
Speaker
And I'm like, i'm fuck your signs. Skrrt, skrrt. We know Baltimore. taking pictures. Baltimore. No.
05:25:09
Speaker
stop it yeah like i'm doing all the things like fuck that shirt that fuck up yeah jeffre da from baltimo no australia and Hold a second. Hold on a second. Real quick, Brittany.
05:25:25
Speaker
Hold on a second. Do you know Edgar Allen Poe served in the United States Army? Do you know he where he was stationed at? In the station he was stationed at.
05:25:39
Speaker
He was stationed in Charleston, South Carolina. His first story he ever wrote. His first story he ever wrote. He fell in love with a plantation owner's daughter. yeah Plantation owner said he was a he was a poor bill dancing think no he was a poor military man that did not deserve Hold on, hold on, hold on, there's a reason, there's a destination to my story.
05:26:04
Speaker
He was stationed in the United States Army in Charleston, South Carolina, fellow fell in love with a plantation owner's daughter. Her father said, that you're too poor, you're a military man, you will never hold the hand of my daughter.
05:26:14
Speaker
His first story came from that. There is a bar down in Charleston. It's called Poe's. However, I say all that to tell you.
05:26:28
Speaker
I am a descendant of Edgar Allan Poe. Oh, that's what's up. You could have just said that ah because I know the whole story about Edgar Allan Poe. I just wanted to...
05:26:41
Speaker
just wanted to give you some information that didn't include Baltimore, Maryland, because nobody gives a fuck about Baltimore. So there's so many things that make Edgar Allen Poe. There's so many great things about Edgar Allen Poe that doesn't include him from Baltimore. You're just mad because I just fucking... Nobody...
05:27:06
Speaker
ah knew bachelor I want to move back to Stock Island. I can't wait to be back in Charleston. I would rather be in North Carolina than South Carolina. I thought you were leaving. thought you were going to bed. I am doing whatever the fuck I want to do. Here we go.
05:27:25
Speaker
You're going to kick me out, aren't no
05:27:31
Speaker
No, I'm not. No, I'm not. was just waiting for you to call me a bitch. That's all I was waiting for. I knew it. I had a real mic. that's okay that's what There's always a method to my madness. That's why I told that entirely long ass celebrity story. Because I was trying to entice you to bitch. come up with that excuse. so You don't want to be like Bradley. What do you mean?
05:28:00
Speaker
But a Augusta, Georgia, ah, fuck Augusta. If I was going to move in Georgia, I would go to Savannah, which is basically, as they call it, Charleston. It's it's ah the sister city Charleston. Savannah is fucking beautiful.
05:28:12
Speaker
savannah Savannah is beautiful, but they call it the sister city of Charleston because when they built Savannah, they they copied it from Charleston. Fuck. and and And Savannah is beautiful. Savannah is amazing. I love it. It's clean. It's nice. And the home of the very first really important competition ever won.
05:28:34
Speaker
Hell yeah. I did not have the money to get there and get back. But I went anyway. And turns out desperation makes me funny.
05:28:46
Speaker
All right. I'm out of here, y'all. Good night. Oh my god, she said that like an hour ago and she's still fucking here. Shut the fuck up before I come down. don't even want to see you. Get red stuff on the inside. Look at the grass. Don't feed it. Get you some rest, girl.
05:29:03
Speaker
Thank you for being here with me tonight. Thank you for hanging out with me tonight. Thank you for being a friend. Oh, Golden Girls. Blanche all the way. I'll be fucking my bitch all night. Anyways. Get in line.
05:29:15
Speaker
She's a slut. um get in line she's a slut
05:29:20
Speaker
Hashtag Sophia. I get her first. Okay, bye. Oh, one time you in Sicily. Good night, Angel.
05:29:33
Speaker
Good night, Britt. Be careful. do click How do you feel about that, John Cena? Are you a fan of John Cena?
05:29:42
Speaker
I mean, am. And I wasn't really a big fan of this heel-turn bullshit. However, I got to say for all you wrestling fans out there, hope you guys watched Friday Night SmackDown last night because that was the best, the fucking best John Cena heel promo since he's gone heel.
05:30:04
Speaker
and i owe and And everybody owes it to CM Punk because what CM Punk does is bring the best out in people. And God damn it, that CM Punk-John Cena rivalry was good in the day and it's good again.
05:30:17
Speaker
so I don't know where you're going with the John Cena thing. I just had to finish Well, you shut your fucking whore mouth. It's not what I do.
05:30:27
Speaker
But you probably should. The reason I asked Idris Elba and John Cena are in a movie coming out next month called Heads of State. Idris Elba plays is ah not to keep It's a film movie.
05:30:41
Speaker
It's on Amazon. that is it Is it like a comedy? or It looks like it probably will be just because Idris Elba's in it. He plays the British Prime Minister. And John Cena plays President of the United States.
05:30:56
Speaker
Like Jack. and He gets into the presidency. He's kind of like an action hero. Fucking Ronald Reagan. He was an action star in movies. And he gets elected. And they have to team up. They're targeted. to team up to stop some kind of global catastrophe.
05:31:12
Speaker
But, man, in the Suicide Squad, those two had such a great fucking and chemistry.
05:31:20
Speaker
Good night, Johnny Bong. That was abrupt. Yeah, that was... yeah they were they were great in Suicide Squad. um Yuta Zelda's amazing.
05:31:30
Speaker
Did you ever see the movie The Losers? Dude, she's... speaking Yes. That's awesome movie. Yeah, he was great. That's a great movie. I love that movie. And he was also in Not My... i think Yeah, it was he was he was in that.
05:31:51
Speaker
Dark Towers? Oh, Stephen King's The Dark Tower. Not a good movie. Him and him and him and McConaughey, right? Yeah. All right, all right, all right.
05:32:03
Speaker
and Yeah, i' not not my typical movie that I would like. I know you don't like McConaughey, but I do like McConaughey. Oh, he's grown on me He's done and better roles. i just I was immediately turned off by his creepy character in Days of Confusion. Yeah, but that that yeah but he was that was like the beginning of his career.
05:32:22
Speaker
Yeah, i mean and because of that, I shooed him for a long time. I just avoided him. But he was in some other good things I actually liked, and he he turned me around. Especially Tropic Thunder.
05:32:35
Speaker
What's up, TuggerNuts? Dude, him, him, I'm sorry. i Anybody who likes Tropic Thunder, judge me however you will. But him and fucking Tom Cruise.
05:32:47
Speaker
Tom Cruise absolutely stole the show in that movie. did did But him and Tom Cruise. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
05:32:58
Speaker
Not a fan of Tom Cruise at all as a person or really an actor in a lot of cases. but I like him as an actor. He was so fun in that movie. I just did not expect that. I didn't even realize it was him at first.
05:33:10
Speaker
Yeah, no, neither did I. And I was like, why does this guy look so damn familiar? Yeah, with the with the fat body suit and the hairy... Yeah, not fan of Tom Cruise. Rings on every finger, the chains. yeah but Not a fan of Tom Cruise as a person.
05:33:26
Speaker
I am a fan of him as an actor. I do love his movies. I'm a big fan i'm a big fan of his movies. but ah He's not my jack. ah Well, mr look at him compared to Alan Richardson. I mean, who who are you going to choose?
05:33:42
Speaker
Alan all day long. He's a type of guy who's in the real states. He fits the character. From the books. like that's When you read the books, and I didn't read, I dabbled in the books, but when you read the books, that's what you envision is that dude.
05:34:04
Speaker
Yeah, he's a beast. ah That guy is amazing. and Dude, talk about a good fucking person. I follow him following him on social media. That's a good fucking dude, man. He's a family man. He loves his kids. He loves his wife. He loves to have fun.
05:34:20
Speaker
Um, like that's a good fucking dude right there. Alan Richardson. And I'm happy for that. Actors are real people too. Yeah. Like I, I, I'm so happy for him and his success.
05:34:33
Speaker
Uh, especially because he, you know, most people remember him from blue mountain state. I never saw Which is a great television. He was Hawkman. He was Hawkman. He was, he was, he was, he was, uh, no, he was, he was, uh,
05:34:49
Speaker
He wasn't Hawkman. He was Dove and... He was Hawkman. Oh, he was Hawkman and Smallville. No, he was Aquaman and Smallville. He was Hawkman and... Teen
05:35:04
Speaker
t and Titans. No, he was... No, he was... Huh. He was... Shit. It was Dove and...
05:35:15
Speaker
it was dove and Because they were they they were the original Teen Titans. It was Robin.
05:35:26
Speaker
oh no shit. to to dead He was Hank Hall. Hank Hall. He was not Hawkman. Yeah, yeah. My bad.
05:35:42
Speaker
I fucked up. What's his name again? He was Hawk. He was Hawk. It was Dove and Hawk because it was his wife and Teen Titans. They were Dove and Hawk and it was Robin. They were the original Teen Titans.
05:35:54
Speaker
um And weren't they like faded lovers? They die or whatever and come back and then they find each other again? Well, well the original Hawk man and his wife, woman, whatever, they were. They were faded lovers.
05:36:10
Speaker
But Dove and Hawk were the original... Robin created, the original Robin created the Teen Titans. night was like It was kind of like the Birds of Prey.
05:36:22
Speaker
was that, but they were all, it was Dove, it was Hawk, it was Robin and whatnot. and And then actually in the and the HBO, of sorry, spoiler alert for anybody who hasn't seen it, but the show's been out for a long fucking time.
05:36:36
Speaker
They haven't seen it yet, they're not gonna. The new Teen Titans with Beast Boy and Starfire and all them and Superboy. um And they introduce rob the original Robin is Nightwing. They have Red Hood.
05:36:55
Speaker
Yeah, and they and then they have the Red Hood they and then they have Drake as Robin. And if you haven't seen the HBO Teen Titans show. Watch it. Yeah.
05:37:08
Speaker
And then there was like the the whole death of thought. it was really dark and the dark and the death of alan richardson as aka hawk and that was that was pretty goddamn emotional because ate man pills by the fistful man yeah yeah super super boy really tried to do his damnedest to save him man it was a great show i love that show um yeah but yeah Alan Richardson is is fantastic as as his Reacher. and yeah the next season is the next the new The next season of Reacher is already basically in the books.
05:37:47
Speaker
there it's It's happening. Yeah, it's happening. I'm digging it. I'm ready for That's good. i mean a lot of these yeah I love the show. Two and three years between seasons. What the fuck is going on?
05:37:58
Speaker
yeah I love it. I think what we're going into our fourth end of the fourth season with it. All three seasons have been fantastic. Yeah, I binged him when I saw that guy and I like, oh, shit, I'm going to check this out. I like that dude.
05:38:15
Speaker
How do you feel about Ben Stiller?
05:38:19
Speaker
I do like Ben Stiller. But I don't always like him in every movie.
05:38:27
Speaker
The one that you didn't like. He's kind of the same character over and over again. Yeah, he's basically the same guy in everything. He's kind of like Adam Sandler to me. I like Adam Sandler, but I don't like all of his movies.
05:38:42
Speaker
Oh, me either. He's stretched, though. He stretches. It's not all silly. yeah like back on But you gotta give Adam Sandler as a... Yeah, but you gotta give Adam Sandler as a person a lot of love.
05:38:57
Speaker
dude Dude keeps his people employed. Oh, yeah. His guys, he keeps them in his movies. Plus... Nine times out of ten, when you see him out in public, he's dressed like me.
05:39:09
Speaker
Basketball shorts and a fucking and ah and a fucking t-shirt. That's just who he is. If by some miracle I make it in this business and get real money, I'm the same way. I'm never going to forget who I am.
05:39:22
Speaker
Money doesn't matter what I am. Say some crazy shit happens and and we still like you even if you can't.
05:39:35
Speaker
I can't read. Hold a second.
05:39:39
Speaker
I got to check out. I got to get caught up on these. Come I can read. Tarantula's over here giving me all kinds help. Shut up, Azole. Hold on. Hold on on. She's giving you shit about it, right? But here, look at her.
05:39:53
Speaker
Not to sound mean, but comes on. Comes. yeah that's right right She's been drinking. And the worst part is I never even learned to read.
05:40:06
Speaker
yeah Bedazzled. Bedazzled, bedazzled episode. Bromance, 100%. Who's she mean? You and me or? You and Richardson. Bromance.
05:40:17
Speaker
ah Me and Richardson? Oh, dude, i would love for I would love to have a bromance with Alan Richardson. I love that dude. I really do. i really do i follow him on social media and he posts a lot of his personal life and a lot of his family life. And I love the guy.
05:40:31
Speaker
I love the guy. Dude, dude, he kills me because that son of a bitch can sing too. Huh. Multi-talent. You're like six foot five.
05:40:42
Speaker
You're you're you're You're built like a goddamn god. You're sexy as hell. you're you're You're fantastic in everything you do. And then, why not? Let's just give him a voice of an angel.
05:40:53
Speaker
Because he's like in the kitchen cooking, and he's fucking singing Whitney Houston. And it's like, no You shouldn't be allowed to do that, bro. like you should be able to to same yeah like You should not be allowed to sing Whitney Houston as good as you do.
05:41:07
Speaker
The fuck, bro? like Come on. There's got to be something. and He's got a small dick. Alan Richards. ah so I'm calling it right there has to be something bad about him and so far the only thing that I can think of at this point is he's got a small dick
05:41:27
Speaker
and I'm just saying I'm just throwing it out there I know I suck and that's on me. I'm sorry. Ignoring the chat. The two people who can add comments yet going on about movies, actors and so on. I know. I know. I'm sorry. I apologize.
05:41:43
Speaker
That's on me tonight. That's on me tonight. I am ignoring the chat. I'm sorry that I forgot you guys were there. Well, you were there. but
05:42:00
Speaker
But yeah, nonetheless. ah digress I love that guy I think he's a great dude I think he's a good dude i think he's a great actor I think he's you know just it is what it is
05:42:20
Speaker
none of them matter bullshit so anyways but we are coming to as boys to men once said We are coming to the end of the road.
05:42:34
Speaker
And we've got to get ready and wrap this bad boy up.
05:42:39
Speaker
Before you do, question. Who do you want to play you in your life movie?
05:42:50
Speaker
In life movie, who do I want to play I
05:42:58
Speaker
think the obvious answer is Seth Seth Rogen.
05:43:04
Speaker
andt But I don't really want Seth Rogen to play me. I'm just saying. ah he ah Yeah, i that's a good question. Who do I want to play me?
05:43:17
Speaker
Big show.
05:43:19
Speaker
That would be, doubt I wouldn't be mad at that, but I'm not as big as him. Yeah, right? i don But you've got larger than life personality.
Wrestling Stories and Closing Remarks
05:43:30
Speaker
you want to you want to hear You want to hear a fun story about me and the big show?
05:43:34
Speaker
Why not?
05:43:37
Speaker
Once upon a time, years ago, I used to work security at the Hyatt Regency anyways. This has been years ago, way before I had kids, way before I met my ex-wife. Anywho, WWE did a show at, I don't know who was Nationwide. It might have been Nationwide.
05:43:54
Speaker
All the wrestlers were staying at the Hyatt, the hotel where I worked at, and I was working security there. It was so it was a part-time gig. had another I was already in construction and doing my thing.
05:44:05
Speaker
And I was just working there to make a little extra money. And I was doing my rounds and I walked into the bar. Didn't even think anything of it. I just walked into the bar to do my normal rounds. And they were all all the wrestlers were in there.
05:44:20
Speaker
The Godfather, Shane McMahon, Big Show, Billy Gunn, Road Dogg, blah, blah. it You just name them from back then. And I'm like, holy shit.
05:44:32
Speaker
I'm a wrestling fan. These guys are here. So I'm talking to the bartender.
05:44:38
Speaker
and and And then just because I didn't want to completely fangirl the fuck out. So with talking to him, i wound up talking to The Godfather.
05:44:52
Speaker
and And then I was like, you know, I'm a huge wrestling fan, blah, blah, blah. So then I got the opportunity to set and talk to Shane and I talked to some other people and stuff like that.
05:45:02
Speaker
And then Big Show came over and he sat down. That man is fucking massive. That is a massive fucking man. He came over and he went, no, he's well over seven foot tall.
05:45:13
Speaker
<unk> I think he's seven foot Something like that. So him and I get to talking and Godfather, he goes, hey Glick, hey g quickck why don't you Why don't you, because I introduced myself as Glick.
05:45:29
Speaker
He said, hey, Glick, you should have Big Show palm your head. And I'm like, whatever. Dude, this man's hands are massive. He put the base of his hand on my chin, and his fucking fingers were like almost to the back of my head.
05:45:45
Speaker
Like he could have literally picked me up by my face. Wow. With ease.
05:45:51
Speaker
Height, seven foot, weight, 383. yeah like And his hands are fucking ginormous. Big gloves.
05:46:05
Speaker
and frank But no, an absolute gentle giant. One of the sweetest, most kindest individuals I've ever met in my life. ah Him and I talked.
05:46:16
Speaker
we We shot to shit. Absolutely one of the nicest guys in the world. Most of them were. most most Most of the guys I got to talk to that night were were amazing. and Good for you. They don't meet your heroes. try hard not defend yeah and i tried not and I tried really hard not to fangirl out, and I didn't ask for autographs, and I didn't ask for pictures. I wish I would have had pictures to kind of prove my story. All I have is my story.
05:46:43
Speaker
So many wrestlers were there that night, and and it was like, I know I'm here to do a job, but technically I am security. Wow. I'm securing the front lobby in the bar area, but at the same time, I'm getting to see guys that I watch on TV and guys that i that I'm fans of and and and and and and you know it's just kind of conversate with them.
05:47:05
Speaker
And I didn't conversate with them as a fucking fan. I just talked to them like they were normal human beings. And they were cool as hell, man. A lot of the guys were like, yeah Oh, it was. it was very It was very hard for me because I wanted to freak out.
05:47:20
Speaker
But it was cool because they were like, do this to so-and-so. And it was like it was like, because they were all drinking and having a good time. you know They were winding down from the show, and it was like, yeah know like challenge Billy Gunn to do like four shots of tequila.
05:47:35
Speaker
And it was like, why would I do that? And they're like, just do it. And I was like, hey, Billy, you want to do shots of tequila? And he was like, fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. and I wasn't drinking because I was on the clock and he just to to just slammed him down like it was nothing, like it was water.
05:47:53
Speaker
and was just It was just a really cool experience. What's that? Rustlers are partiers.
05:48:02
Speaker
Andre the Giant. It was just a really cool experience. Andre the Giant had somebody drive him from ah Cleveland, Ohio to Columbus, Ohio. If you know the state, it's about two-hour drive, two and a half maybe.
05:48:16
Speaker
Two, two, two and a half. Straight down 71. Beer in the limo on the way. And they had stop for more beer.
05:48:26
Speaker
Have you heard the story of Jake the Snake told it? Because Jake the Snake and Andre had their rivalry. and I love this story.
05:48:38
Speaker
Jake the Snake Jake Roberts told this story about one time him and Andre had a match together. And Andre did that thing where he would throw you into the into the corner and then he would come over and just like put all of his weight on you.
05:48:54
Speaker
you know He would just like kind of walk over and just lean on you. You got to look this up on YouTube because I won't do it any justice. jake Jake is telling this story and he's like, and Andre looks back at me and he smiles and he's like, huh, huh, huh, huh.
05:49:10
Speaker
I'm 14. ah hey jake's like And Jake's like, as he's saying it, all I could feel was the whole right side of my body just vibrating because this man was so large that when he farted, he breathed.
05:49:28
Speaker
There's so many hilarious stories about Andre the Giant and him drinking. There's a story with him. i can't remember who it was. but there's a story of him and another wrestler.
05:49:40
Speaker
i think they were in Europe doing a show, and they went to a bar, and he said this man had 47 shots and like 10 bottles of wine and was barely just just fine.
05:50:00
Speaker
Meanwhile, the guy he was with... Yeah. And meanwhile, the guy that he was out with was fucking blasted.
05:50:13
Speaker
And he was watching Andre the Giant. Yeah, watching Andre the Giant drink. Because Andre the Giant, unfortunately for Andre the Giant, because back in the day, Andre the Giant was an alcoholic, and he drank a lot.
05:50:29
Speaker
Obviously. you know But that man could drink. yeah Yeah, that story was killing me. like his Some security guy or whatever was hired to be his driver down there.
05:50:41
Speaker
And he killed a case of beer before he got to Columbus, made him stop and get more beer.
05:50:49
Speaker
Right? That man could drink. andre When I was a drinker, you were like you said I couldn't drink like that, but I did drink a lot. like We'd shotgun six, eight beers before we went to the bar. Yeah.
05:51:01
Speaker
the The man, like you said, he's he's seven foot plus tall. He's 500, 400 pounds. I i mean, this's plus that's a lot of ass. But to hear Jake the Snake do the impression of Andre was like spot on.
05:51:17
Speaker
And shout out to Jake the Snake Roberts, man. And shout out, actually, shout out to Diamond Dallas Page, GDP and the DDP Yoga. Man, he's gotten a lot of old school wrestlers clean, and he's got them healthy and he's gotten them healthy.
05:51:29
Speaker
And Jake the Snake was probably his biggest accomplishment because Jake was a mess, man. He didn't stick out his neck on the kit. No, no, no, no. Jake was a mess.
05:51:44
Speaker
oh yeah ja jake was a mess
05:51:48
Speaker
jake Did Jake die? No, Jake was in AEW. I don't think Jake is dead. Jake was in AEW.
05:51:57
Speaker
Just not too long ago. No, i'm not dead. jason's Holy shit, he's 70. Yeah. Yeah.
05:52:07
Speaker
No, did diamond dallas page do Diamond Dallas Page move that man into his house?
05:52:19
Speaker
My favorite wrestler back in the day, man, it's hard to say. mean, I loved the Ultimate Warrior when he came out. that Guy's a big hand this month.
05:52:33
Speaker
At this point in Glick's life, at this point in Glick's life, hold on a second, I'm trying to, he created himself. No, I truly didn't. I did, I did. had to, I really had to contain myself, Angel.
05:52:47
Speaker
ah I don't know.
05:52:51
Speaker
I've been told I have a big dick. cause I'm glad you had a good experience. I met one of my heroes once and it did not go well. She was a twat.
05:53:01
Speaker
Who was she? The Duchess of Doom.
05:53:06
Speaker
Allison Fisher. She was the number one player in her sport longer than anybody was number one in anything ever. Billiards. What's her sport?
05:53:17
Speaker
Oh, okay. Oh, oh, yeah. Okay, I know who you're talking about now. Yeah. Allison Fisher. Once you said billiards.
05:53:25
Speaker
Yeah, total fucking shit. Anyone even living in these? Oh, my Jesus. Oh, my Jesus. Angel, stop it. I've already done it. Beer serenitimatures. If you're ready to have a whiskey drinking contest, I'm putting you to bed.
05:53:44
Speaker
and I'm too old for that. I'm too old for that conversation. like as soon as you As soon as you open that door with that conversation, I'm going to out drink you.
05:53:55
Speaker
Okay. that's ah Let's say that's her mating call.
05:54:04
Speaker
Who's mating call? You can't out drink me. andop but boom boo bo bu Let's do it. yeah Meanwhile, they've only had they've only had three Zimas and they can barely stand up and they say they can't. Yeah, yeah.
05:54:17
Speaker
Dude, you just aged yourself. I don't give a fuck. I hated Zima back in the day. That shit was nasty. I'm the oldest one in the room. I know that, but still.
05:54:28
Speaker
um Yeah, fuck you, Canada. Fuck you, Canada, for Zima. I gotta take a piss.
05:54:39
Speaker
oh sorry yeah i don't go to doctors i don't want to know what's wrong with this thing i treat my body like a toilet and not a temple hey if you never go to a doctor then there's never anything wrong absolutely i'm the picture health me too i'm with you brother you're a picture all right
05:55:08
Speaker
I'm something. You're going to hear me anyway while you're pissing. Who should play me in my life story? so Yeah, who should play you in your life Who do you think should play? I'm still trying to figure out who should play me in my life story. ah My guy is dead. Who?
05:55:26
Speaker
Who's your guy? Burt fucking Reynolds.
05:55:31
Speaker
Dude, I can see that. I can see that. I just don't have that laugh. love and because you're not that You're not the first person to ask me that.
05:55:45
Speaker
and And every time I'm asked that, the first the first person that comes to mind is Seth Rogen. And I don't know why, because I'm not that big of Seth Rogen fan.
05:55:56
Speaker
I'm really not. But I don't know. i don't know. you you don't have a Seth Rogen vibe.
05:56:07
Speaker
You're more of a Jack Black,
05:56:12
Speaker
but with less talent. He froze.
05:56:17
Speaker
I can see that too. Which one?
05:56:21
Speaker
It's hard to keep up with what you're answering.
05:56:24
Speaker
He froze. Eww, Jack Black.
05:56:31
Speaker
Jack Black's multi-talented, and he's not a bad person.
05:56:39
Speaker
Yeah, he did. Or he's holding in a fart.
05:56:46
Speaker
He's back.
05:56:50
Speaker
He's gone.
05:56:54
Speaker
Hey, buddy. Welcome home.
05:57:06
Speaker
Glick.
05:57:15
Speaker
Can you hear me now? Yes. Okay, so we do got to wrap this up. We literally have less than three minutes left. So want to say this. Thank guys for listening. Thank you guys for hanging out.
05:57:26
Speaker
Appreciate y'all being up on the panel tonight. Everybody who came up. Chatters box. Thank you, guys. If you're not ready, go ahead and give us a follow. Bio.link slash nonsensicalnetwork. Click it.
05:57:36
Speaker
Give us a follow. Give us a like. Give us a share. And don't forget, nine out of ten grannies approved. Also, MichaelCopenhaver.com, right? MichaelCopenhaverComedian.com.
05:57:50
Speaker
Yeah, there it is. MichaelCopenhaverComedian.com. Go give Michael a follow. Go give him a like. Get you one of them fancy dancy shirts you see in the background. I got one. You got one.
05:58:01
Speaker
but well I got some. I'll have to wear it one night. But with that being said, thank you guys for listening. Thank you guys for hanging out. I will see you this Tuesday night where it might be Gluck's House of Comedy.
05:58:13
Speaker
It will be. I'll get my boy. Tyler, come on. He's good dude. Clip House Comedy, with that being said. Ladies and gentlemen, be good. Yeah, will.
05:58:25
Speaker
Ladies gentlemen, with that being said, be good. We'll be good at it, baby. Be safe or name it after me. walk out of like
05:58:43
Speaker
Nonsensical network, different flavor every day Movie talks, new flips, hitting the display Microphone magic, musicians spill the praise From reptiles to motorsports, burning rubber craze Football crashes, touchdowns, epic plays New spinning, catching on the tales, word and stories we embrace tune
05:59:35
Speaker
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05:59:46
Speaker
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