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140 - G.I. Joe: The Movie (1987)
116 Plays2 years ago
“When I'm through, scuzzbucket, they're gonna scrape you off the walls with a squeegee!”
The Movies that Marketed to Us month rolls on and this week we’re taking a deep dive into a real American hero who is always there. For freedom, for their country, and for your hard-earned allowance money.
The boys discuss their pleasant surprise at a coherent plot that’s only 50% explosions, the behind-the-scenes marketing decisions that led to changes and distribution of the film, and Tucker screams “COBRA!” a lot.
You can know more about us at the links below. Because knowing is half the battle afterall:
- @Disenfranchpod on Facebook, Instagram, Letterboxd, YouTube, and (for now) Twitter
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- Rate and review us on Apple Podcasts and Spotify!
- Find Stephen at @ChewyWalrus on Instagram, Letterboxd, and (for now) Twitter
- Find Brett at @sus_warlock on Instagram and Letterboxd
- Find Tucker at @icenine09 on YouTube and Instagram
- Join our Patreon for exclusive bonus content, like our upcoming DisenFIVEchised on the films of David Fincher: https://patreon.com/Disenfranchpod
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Transcript
00:00:21
Speaker
I'll sing one for you
Introduction to the Podcast and Hosts
00:00:25
Speaker
Yo, Joe, it's the disenfranchised podcast where that podcast all about those franchises have won those films that fancy themselves full fledged franchises before falling flat on their face after the first film. I am your host, Stephen Foxworthy, a real American hero. And joining me, as always, he's out of his coma. He's going to be OK. It's my co-host, Brett Wright. Hey, Brett. Hello, Stephen. How we do, buddy. I love you. It's been I feel like it's been forever. It's been two weeks, but I feel like it's been forever. How you been? I love you too.
00:00:55
Speaker
It's been great. I miss you, man. I miss you when you're not here. I miss being here when I can't be here. But you know, life always finds a way. You've done it just. And also joining us this week, Brett, it's the man with the itty bitty ditty bag.
Catchphrases and Character Names in 80s Movies
00:01:11
Speaker
It's Tucker. Hey, Tucker. Cobra! Hi. How's it going? Not bad, man. How are you doing?
00:01:21
Speaker
I'm all right. I find the amount of times that they feel like they have to like shout their various catchphrases during this movie a bit. You could cut about 30 percent off of that and maybe it's like everything they do, like go, Drew. It wouldn't be a movie, man. It would not be a movie.
00:01:39
Speaker
The guy's like, hey, man, I got I got to hit the head. I'll be right back. And everybody's like, go, Joe. He's like, no, I just it's not. I just have to go to the bathroom. It's not big to go, Joe. OK. All right. Fuck. You'll have to have the part where they have to talk to everybody like using their first names. Never mind. Hello, sir. It's like, yes. You know, roadblock. Yes. Whatever you say, roadblock. Absolutely dial tone. What was that mainframe?
00:02:05
Speaker
God. You have to know their names, guys. You have to look there. There is a character in this movie. There's exactly there's a character in this movie called Snow Job and a character in this movie called Beachhead. And I'm just like the 80s were a fucking wild time, guys. The 80s were fucking wild.
00:02:27
Speaker
Oh, yeah, we we know that's that's a joke for later. That was a really good one, man. I wish I could embarrass you on air, Stephen, but I'll do it later. There's there's a guy and then there's a guy who looks like a denim version of a leather daddy named Gung Ho. And like, what are we doing here, guys? What are we doing?
00:02:50
Speaker
Yeah, I know we can hear you Like you're shaking your entire computer as you type And as if you couldn't fucking figure it out based on that intro what we're talking about Brett What are we talking about this week as the third installment of our?
G.I. Joe: The Movie - Production and Pop Culture
00:03:10
Speaker
of our 80s animation extravigation months. I love you, Steven. We joke because we love. Fuck you all. I would teach you if I didn't like you, Steven. I love you, buddy. Come on. I love you. Tucker cut all this out. Okay, cut that, cut that, got it.
00:03:36
Speaker
What are we talking about? Sorry, the movie that we're talking about this week. Yeah, we are talking about G.I. Joe 1987's G.I. Joe the movie directed by
00:03:52
Speaker
Don Gerwich, written by Ron Friedman and Roger Slipher and starring, God, everybody fucking Charlie Adler, Jack Angel, Corey Burton, Francois Chow, Peter Cullen, Jennifer Darling, Brian Cummings, Dick Gaucher, Ed Gilbert, Don Johnson, Don motherfucking Johnson. I just smacked it. I just smacked it in this movie too, Steven.
00:04:19
Speaker
Burgess Meredith Rob Paulson playing the aforementioned snow job.
00:04:29
Speaker
Sargent slaughter as himself. As Sargent slaughter. I love Sargent slaughter. I'll be a bit worried about that later. I'm sure. I mean, he was always my favorite Joe growing up. Yes. Also, there's a character in this. And he was all razzling at the same time. Synergy, man. And of course, Frank Welker is in this movie. There's another there's another character in this movie called Big Lob, which feels dirtier than it is. But a lot of a lot of hidden innuendo here. I mean, just the horniest motherfuckers working at Hasbro in the 80s.
00:04:59
Speaker
House channel, their channel, their energy through Don Johnson in this movie. Mm hmm. Oh God. Sexually harasses or assaults every woman that he comes across. Walking H.R. violation. Lieutenant Falcon. The only Joe with an actual rank. Lieutenant Falcon. Except for Sergeant Slaughter. Except for. OK. Touché. But but Falcon outrank Slaughter. But Slaughter's bossing him around like a motherfucker. So.
00:05:25
Speaker
Well, only enlisted men can be training instructors. You can't be an officer and be a training instructor. You have to be enlisted, yeah. I've never been in the military. My father was, my grandfather was, but I was not, so. You broke the tradition, man. Too soft in the middle is. That's all right. I took care of it for you. You can count my service as yours, Steven. I'm not going to do that for fear of pissing off everybody. Thank you for your service, Steven. Don't do that. Thank you for your service.
00:05:52
Speaker
No. Stolen valor, baby. No, it's not stolen. I'm giving it to him. Gifted valor, baby. Gifted valor, baby. Yes. What a cast. What a what a picture. Honestly, probably not to bury the lead, but probably the best one we've watched so far this month. I didn't hate it. No. No, it's fine. Perfectly fine.
00:06:17
Speaker
Well, I probably like the lesson you guys did, but I think for me, it's you remember the Transformers episode when I was talking about how like since Craven and Solace at once. Yeah. Well, the way that Hollywood is and the way that toys are and the way that capitalism works and all that stuff. Art has to marry business. They have to be in a relationship. It is show business. Transformers is that's just all business.
00:06:45
Speaker
No art there. Now this, it was a good, a good, a good marriage. It looks, it looks good. The animation looked good. Fantastic, I thought. And like, it's, it's pretty okay. Like, sure, it's convoluted and it's stupid, but it's for kids. But it's not like a soul crushing, like existential nightmare, like Transformers was.
00:07:11
Speaker
Part of that I think is that they – because based on what I've read about this movie, they're basically working on Transformers the movie and GI Joe the movie in tandem. And they actually got the idea of Optimus Prime dying in Transformers the movie from the fact that they killed off Duke in this movie because Hasbro was going to retire the toy anyway.
00:07:33
Speaker
So they weren't going to have that action figure available. So they're just like, great, we can kill him off. We make him and Falcon family. So he's saving Falcon. It's perfect. It works thematically like it's good. Story wise, good works. But because of delays, production delays, G.I. Joe was delayed and Transformers came out first and people were so pissed off that Optimus Prime died that they backpedaled real fucking fast.
00:08:01
Speaker
Yeah, when people took to the streets and started destroying local businesses because Optimus Prime died. Yeah. Hasbro was like, ah, maybe we keep Dutch. Mm hmm. I think we could. We'll never forget the Transformers riots of 1987. Hashtag never forget. I wish we'd all been ready, you know. I mean, there's. I'm glad you got it. I'm glad you got it. I'm glad you got to kick out of that one, Steven. That was for you. I mean, yeah, of course it was. Not for Brad. Brad doesn't know what that is. Nope. Sure, no.
00:08:30
Speaker
It's an old Larry Norman song. You had to be a churchy Joe to get that one. Yeah, man. Cool church, Joe. Yeah. What would what would the chaplain of the G.I. Joe's be called? Tabernacle. Hey, I like that. That's good. Or yeah, no, I fucking love that or chaplain tabernacle or something something like that. But yeah, no, that's
00:08:59
Speaker
But yeah, there is no chaplain on the GI Joes because the GI Joes are a godless organization. No, they're not. Do you see the beginning of this movie? It felt it felt like Team America. It was like five minutes of a team part of a Team America movie. So I my partner did not watch this one with me because she's like, there is nothing for me in this movie. And I was like, yeah, you're right. But she I was texting her and I was like, this fucking movie
00:09:26
Speaker
begins with an elaborate musical number. There is an elaborate, and I was like, is this gonna be a musical? Like My Little Pony, the movie from last week? Is this also gonna be a musical? No, it's not a musical. But that opening number is pretty fucking phenomenal. Well, it's just an extended version of the regular cartoon theme. And...
00:09:51
Speaker
I know we haven't got to the part where we explain what our histories are with the movie yet. That's coming. But I do have a bit of a history with the GI Joe, so I'm familiar with that song, but I've never seen this movie. I've never heard this extended version. So when it started, it's like, OK. Go, bro. All right. All right. Go, bro! And I'm like, all right. Yeah. Yeah. OK. Keep forgetting the la, la, la, la, la, la's at the end. Oh, yeah. All right.
00:10:21
Speaker
I love the fact that they say Cobra and then you get the guy in the background literally screaming Cobra like he's looking for Cobra and can't find him. Like, Cobra? Cobra? It's great. I love it. I love it so much. Yeah. I thought it was great, too. And like, I didn't realize that's what it was at first, but then like,
00:10:43
Speaker
It started, kept going, kept going. Then all of a sudden they're talking about a real American hero, G.I. Joseph. Yeah. Yeah. And that's way into it.
Casual Banter and Personal Memories of G.I. Joe
00:10:56
Speaker
The way that ends with Duke grabbing the American flag and jet packing all the way up the Statue of Liberty.
00:11:02
Speaker
Perfect fucking rocket to your style. Hell. Yeah. Hell. Yeah. See our previous episode on the Rockets here. Yeah, fucking incredible. Like it's such a it's such a great opening and it perfectly sets the scene and sets the stage. It sets the tone to like you see that and you're like, yeah, this is going to be ridiculous. It's going to be really stupid. It's definitely for children.
00:11:25
Speaker
But it might be entertaining. Pure 80s. This might just be something that I don't mind watching. Pure 80s cheese. The open English movie has nothing but it's just an extended toy commercial. What happened over the last two weeks, guys? Did you become indoctrinated to capitalism? What happens? Like this is the first five minutes of this movie is just the Transformers movie read down again. What are you talking about? I understand that, Brett, but unlike the Transformers movie, this is good.
00:11:52
Speaker
I like hearing this song because I like hearing this song. It's a good song. And it's not I feel like this film at least has some sort of creative merit. I mean, it's like they actually.
00:12:07
Speaker
It's like they actually gave a fucking shit. They took the time to say what song would go good and how can we make the action that's happening on screen match up to the song we're going to pair with this movie? Not what song can we license and just throw in here regardless of whether or not it fits? Absolutely. Transformers was an executives movie. G.I. Joe was just the whatever idiots they had working on this trying to sell toys. And that's way different. Way different.
00:12:36
Speaker
And they also learned a lesson from My Little Pony, the movie. And that they. My little pony. Perfect. Cut, print, no notes. You didn't listen to last week's episode, Brett, because that's all last week was, was just Tucker and I doing that for about an hour and a half. I'm gone for a week and what the fuck happened? This is why you can't miss, man. This is why you can't miss.
00:13:05
Speaker
No, we go too far into the weeds when you're not here, man. You pull us out. We really fucking do. Look, you get to two guys who are who are known for tangents and you leave them alone in a room together. And you're you're you're you wonder what happens when they come out the other side, like completely the draggolds. Yeah, you love capitalism and a bronies now. Fantastic. Oh, no, neither of those things are true.
00:13:31
Speaker
But they didn't- What it sounds like to me, I'm saying. They didn't kill off the entire previous line in order to make room for the new characters. They removed them from the main action of the film, sure, but they didn't kill them off completely, which is what the mistake that Transformers, which I think is, again, part of the reason why Transformers, the movie feels far more craven than the last two movies that we've discussed, because it's clear like, okay, old toy line gone, new toy line here.
00:14:00
Speaker
And whereas this is like, hey, we're supplementing what we already have with these great new characters that you're probably going to love. Well, now that you mention it, Stephen, it does kind of seem like not only just the whole the whole not killing one of the main characters things, but it does seem like.
00:14:19
Speaker
Since this film was delayed, they learned a lot from Transformers. Because this could have been the same kind of movie, and for all intents and purposes, probably should have been. But they made Transformers, then they saw it, and they were like, what if we did this, but like we actually tried to kind of make it good? I feel like the only change they made...
00:14:42
Speaker
was the ADR lines about Duke not dying. Yeah. Instead of he's gone, it's he's gone. And it's kind of nowhere. Into a coma. I'm pretty sure that like that scene before there was no dialogue. It was just like kind of pulling away for the for the fade out at the end. There's like, oh, home but called and everybody's OK. It's cool.
00:15:02
Speaker
OK, OK. It honestly reminded me spoilers for a movie that came out in January. It reminded me of the end of Scream 6, where when Mindy hops off the the ambulance is like, I was in the hospital. I got stabbed real bad. You thought I died. I didn't. Oh, by the way, Gail's OK, too. Like when you're just like, wait, why? I'm on a lot of drugs. Right. Which is why I'm so happy and chipper, even though I was stabbed almost to death. Like really deep.
00:15:30
Speaker
Yeah. And by the way, the character that had a really moving death half an hour ago, she's fine. Like, ooh. And it felt like we were killing. Yeah, it felt like that, honestly, is what it felt like to me, like just a whole kind of like, oh, and by the way, because you notice no one's lips move for any of that. Like he's gone into a coma. Yeah. Yeah. And then at the end where it is like, he's OK and he's out of the coma. That's all like from like way in the background, like,
00:15:59
Speaker
Yeah, there's it's all completely 80 yard in later, like they're because animation is expensive to change. We can't change the animation. So we just have to like throw jokes in or, you know, throw dialogue in to fix the shit that we broke, because, you know, most people who get stabbed in the heart by a by a serpent staff are just just go into a coma. That's a thing that happens when they get stabbed in the heart with a giant stick by a guy dressed as a snake. I mean, look, I'm not a doctor, but that tracks.
00:16:33
Speaker
Yeah, well, I mean, I they may not have changed anything, but I do think that this movie is kind of the perfect for me, kind of the response to Transformers because it feels that way. It's a very similar film, but it's like they were like, yeah, but what if like we actually tried to like put like some creativity in this and make it, you know, look good and like like not just like actually fun, you know? Yeah.
00:17:04
Speaker
And I was it was refreshing. Like I said, I don't really like it. I don't hate it, but I'm glad I watched it. Yeah, it's it's it's not as craven as Transformers the movie. Again, I feel like they.
00:17:21
Speaker
they learned some lessons from the My Little Ponies. So this is the third of three films released by De Laurentiis Entertainment, Sunbo Productions, and Marvel Productions across the span of 1986 and 1987, all of which were a response to Care Bears, the movie, doing fucking gangbusters in 84. I'm so mad we don't get to do that one. That's actually good. That is an actually good one.
00:17:47
Speaker
It is. Yeah, I watch that a lot. The movie is the shit kind of slides. But we have not talked about our histories with the Joes. So Tucker, you you inferred that you had one. So why don't you go first? What is your history with the Joes that are GIs? I watched it on TV when I was a kid. Cool. That's it. Cool story, bro. No, I never I I may have had a couple of G.I. Joe figures, but I didn't really like collect the toys or anything. So
00:18:16
Speaker
As much as I liked the TV show, it wasn't working on me. Hmm.
00:18:22
Speaker
I did love I loved the TV show when I was kid like that and he man like before I got a little older and got into like Ghostbusters and Ninja Turtles like he man and he managed. Yeah, Joe was the shit. And also, like I said, the synergy with Rasslin because I was way into Rasslin back when I was a youngster, too. That trash and slaughter was the sergeant. Slaughter still is the shit. He's still sergeant. Slaughter was always my favorite Joe, always my favorite Joe.
00:18:51
Speaker
Um, so yeah. And part of it was because he, he was a real person that they just put into a cartoon. I was like, that fucking rules. And he can deliver dialogue, like itty bitty ditty bag and make it sound fucking menacing as shit. Yeah, dude. So being sound and dude, good. He doesn't sound like that in real life either. Like his voice sounds nothing like that. It just sounds like a regular dude. It's almost like he's, he's a performer putting on a performance acting. Hmm.
00:19:21
Speaker
Go figure. Yeah. Brett, what is your what is your history with the G.I. Joe's? None. None. Wow. Not at all. Outside of Sergeant Slaughter because I'm a wrestling fan. I mean, I was into I love that. It was cool. I I never really watched the G.I. Joe cartoon. No, because I knew he didn't really show up in a much and I didn't really want to watch the cartoon for the rare appearances he did pop up in. Now, so you were into wrestling. Did you watch the Hulk Hogan cartoon show? I did. Yeah. OK.
00:19:51
Speaker
Tucker, you look confused. Did you not know about this show that the show existed? No, I sometimes rock and rest up. No, I was aware of that. And I think I think even back then when I was that young, I had a three episode rule and I don't think it passed the mustard. No.
00:20:08
Speaker
Probably not. It probably doesn't hold up well. Nope. No, I can't imagine. I can imagine. My other history, though, Tucker, you might be the only one that knows this. So, you know, at the end of every GI Joe episode, there was the PSA. The PSA. Do you remember E-bombs World on Yield Internet?
00:20:30
Speaker
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know E-Bounds World. Yeah, I also know E-Bounds. It was like where all the funny videos were before YouTube existed. Yeah, and there was that series of GI Joe PSAs that were dubbed over with ridiculous shit. Oh, I do remember that. I don't remember any of them specifically, but I remember that concept.
00:20:51
Speaker
For sure. I remember watching those for sure. I just remember the pork chop sandwiches one. That's that's the one that I remember whenever I think about it. I'm going to have to see if those are on YouTube and put them on my watch later because I'm sure they are. I'm sure they are. I have not. I have not thought about those since I saw them back in the day. So I'm guessing that's very similar to the people who overdub the X-Men cartoon with the I'm the juggernaut bitch. Is that a similar kind of thing? Probably similar. Probably similar. Yeah. Do you not know? It was around the same.
00:21:20
Speaker
Same time. Do you not know about I'm the juggernaut, bitch? Who are you asking? Either of you. Because I do. I mean, because I feel like it's silly to ask either of us, Stephen. I feel like you wasted all of ours times. You wasted our listeners. This is time, Stephen. I was just asking this question. Was that was that too far, Steve? Did I teach you too much, Stephen? I do that sometimes with people I like. I tease them too much and I accidentally hurt their feelings and I feel bad. So I have to pull back. I'm so tired.
00:21:49
Speaker
That's what it is. I'm so tired. I do do that, though, you guys. I said doo doo. I do do that, though. So if if you guys I know if I ever tease you guys too hard, just holler at your boy because I don't mean to. I just get excited and I like to tease people. So I'll just I'll just start flipping you off. That's how that'll work. You do that all the time anyway. That's true.
00:22:17
Speaker
I actually, so I watched a couple episodes of the show.
The Evolution of G.I. Joe Toys
00:22:21
Speaker
I wasn't like a religious watcher of the show by any stretch of the imagination. I think I had an action figure that was given to me by a friend of mine. Like I didn't buy it. It was not purchased for me.
00:22:33
Speaker
My dad loved the old school GI Joes from the 40s and the 50s. The tall boys. Yeah. The ones basically based on the Barbie model that Hasbro purchased from Kenner so that they could make their military Barbies.
00:22:50
Speaker
And I actually bought him one for like there was an anniversary when I was a teenager. I bought him one for like Christmas or something. Just the Navy one because my dad that was his branch of the service was the Navy. Nice. So yeah, I bought him that. And they even had the the misprint like thumbnail on the other side of the thumb, which was kind of the thing that G.I. Joe's had.
00:23:11
Speaker
Um, but my, my main exposure to GI Joes was actually this movie, which I watched at a slumber party when I was in like third or fourth grade. Uh, we went to my buddy James's house and he had this movie and we put it on and watched it. And it was for a third grader.
00:23:31
Speaker
fucking slapped. It was so much fun. And that was what cemented Sergeant Slaughter as my favorite G.I. Joe. Again, because he was a real person, but that movie, because he kicks so much ass in this movie. So much ass in this movie. And yeah, he's fucking great. And I was like, where's Sergeant Slaughter? Where's Sergeant Slaughter? And then he came into the movie and I was just like, all right, I like this movie now.
00:24:00
Speaker
Yeah. So of the movies that we've seen this month so far, this is the first that I've actually seen. So nice. Right. Cool. I think it sounds like I was the only one who'd seen this previously. Yeah. Yeah. I haven't seen any of these before. None of the movies we're watching this month have I seen before in my entire life. Right on. Well, in that case, let's let's talk the plot of this movie before we start digging in even more into this movie. Yes, let's. So Brett is going to.
00:24:28
Speaker
I was gonna say, don't let me forget to talk about Christopher Collins because I did a deep dive on him. Okay. And I found some interesting things. So don't let me forget that plot. So the plot in 60 seconds is the part of the show where we at the behest of the D six of destiny will.
00:24:47
Speaker
be recounting the plot. One of us will be recounting the plot of this film GI Joe Cole in the movie from 1987 in 60 seconds or less or your podcast is free. That's a joke I haven't broken out in a while. Brett will assign us the what sides we are and then he will roll the d6 of destiny and the d6 of destiny will decide which of us will be recounting the plot. Brett, who is what?
00:25:14
Speaker
I usually assign them by how much each of us are into this. So I'll be one and two. Tucker will be three and four. Five and six will be used even. OK. Let's go. And that is a five. Dammit. Finally, it's not me. It's been me like the last 35000 times. Yeah. Welcome to my last year, bud. OK.
00:25:38
Speaker
And Brett had our streaks. I was going to say, Brett, we have a losing streak for a long ass time. I was going to say I was going to say I don't know if my streak ended up beating Brett's or not. Like I've not actually gone through the back catalog to see. I was going to do that for like our hundredth episode. But yeah, I might as well have just done it every week at that point. No need to flip the coin anymore. Brett's going to do it.
00:26:04
Speaker
I mean, yeah, although it did lead to some very great moments like the Speed Racer episode, like the three musketeers episode. Those are some of my those. Honestly, those two are probably my favorite plot in 60 seconds. I mean, yeah, you can't go wrong, really. No, not at all. If only we could market those and really. Yeah. Supercut.
00:26:28
Speaker
You know what we could do that we could do that or we could do release on patreon a top 10 top 10 plot and 60s Or we could do both or we could do both Or we could do both or we could do both Burkina list. Oh, I see listeners. Let us know on social media Yeah, we are at disenfranch pod on pretty much everything and you can also find us on You can also shoot us an email disenfranch pod at gmail.com
00:26:57
Speaker
Did you guys know we had a Patreon? Wait, what? No, we don't. What are you talking about? Did you know a simple one tier five dollars? But did you know multiple tiers? But did you know, Tucker, that this month you can actually sign up for a seven day free trial of our Patreon so you can see what it's all about without having to pay any money? Seven days for a full week. You and here's the thing you couldn't even get through like
00:27:25
Speaker
a tenth of the content that's on there in a week. No, it's just too much. You get that free trial. Your week is full. Just set aside your whole week because there's so much shit on there and not shit like bad, but like shit just like as another word for stuff. There's a lot of stuff like it's. Probably close to 20 episodes of this and five tries like.
00:27:50
Speaker
seven or eight episodes of unenfranchised four or five episodes of Upsal video game corner. Three Christianity corner. Three on the Christianity corner. The one that drives all the people away. But yes, we always have to clarify. That's about making fun of it. Not really, you know, enjoying it. So maybe Stephen a little bit. But that's a you know, I mean, it's most of my life. You can't really can't really turn off who I am, guys.
00:28:19
Speaker
Yeah. Well, I don't think I don't think it's something that promotes any particular rigid religion specifically. No, we would never. We're just talking about theology and how it relates to certain films, man. Ain't that deep? I'm a god is he then, man, we're not trying to push anything on you. You guys are. Yeah, calm down. It's all good.
00:28:42
Speaker
But, yeah, so someone got 60 seconds on the clock so I can do this fucking. Oh, yeah, that's the thing we were doing before you do that. Where do what? What is the how would you type into the address bar of a web browser to get to our Patreon, Stephen? Maybe patreon.com slash disenfranch pod. OK, we'll type that in right now. I'm going to subscribe, you guys. Go away. Do that plan 60 seconds. Stephen, go.
00:29:04
Speaker
Oh, fuck. There's GI Joes and they're fighting against Cobra, who's evil. Apparently, there's a struggle for power at the top of Cobra and Cobra commander and Sir Pentor like fighting for power and Sir Pentor is like the rightful leader and he gets like kidnapped by the Joes, but they they bust him out. And then while he's
00:29:24
Speaker
Apparently, like Cobra Commander gets turned into a snake. A bunch of G.I. Joe's get captured by Cobra, so they have to bring in the recruits. One of the guys is Lieutenant Falcon walking HR violation slash world class fuck up and also Duke's half brother. So they send him off to Sergeant Slaughter, who whips him into shape. There's an entire underground Cobra empire called Cobra Law, which is the worst fucking name ever ruled over by Spider Burgess Meredith.
00:29:52
Speaker
And it all leads to this giant showdown. They need this thing called the B.E.T. Black Entertainment Television to like defeat the world. And the G.I. does have it. They need it. They fight. Duke gets stabbed. He goes into a coma. That's the game. Joe's win. Duke survives. Game over. Do you guys remember when Homeboy got stabbed in the eye like strip in the face? Do you remember that part? And like they kind of moved the camera. They went somewhere else with it. But it was like the guys like.
00:30:20
Speaker
Right here, Chris, tell me right here. He's like, hey, hey, and like, that's not what happened at all. But that was my interpretation. Right now. I mean, it's the choreographic pretty hard. Was that was that the the snake guy's character? Burgess, but was that Burgess Meredith? They got stabbed in the eye. Probably because he had that really funky weird eye. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. He had that like robot side. He's like a cyborg alien spider thing.
00:30:47
Speaker
I'm sure that was an homage to Burgess Meredith's classic Twilight Zone episode where he breaks his glasses. Or maybe his role as the penguin because he's always wearing a monocle in Batman 66. That's true. Yeah.
00:31:03
Speaker
What a great show. Just Meredith is my homeboy. Bertha, Bertha Meredith. What a what a voice. What an actor for someone. I mean, again, for someone who is grandfathered into the Rocky franchise, Burgess fucking Meredith, man. You know, eat lightning, crap thunder, baby. Absolutely. That is my favorite episode of the Twilight Zone. So it's a good one. Big fat same. Absolutely. I like the occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge. Anyway, that a lot of people love that one. Yeah.
00:31:33
Speaker
I just I like this. I read the short story in high school and then I saw that and I thought it was cool that instead of like actually making a Twilight Zone episode, Robert Serling was like, there's this short French film that would fit really well here. Let's see if we can get that. He was like showcasing foreign short films on the. Was that before or after he changed his name from Robert to Rod? Oh, same thing, is it? Hey, a D is a backwards B. They're the same thing. Is it done?
00:32:00
Speaker
So, look, when I was a rod, a short for rodert could be. But like, Stephen, when I turn this way, am I the same person as I am when I turn this way? Well, you see that the difference is you're not language. You're a human being. And the symbols that we assign to things in order to give them my argument. Damn you, Stephen matter. Then.
00:32:25
Speaker
You win. What are we? What the hell are we even doing here, guys? Doesn't matter. I'm talking about this movie for some reason. Joe is there because they're there, Brett. And now that you've. Fuck, yeah. So now.
00:32:42
Speaker
The funny thing is that Rob Freeman, the guy who created this show, is it Rod or Rob? See, watch me give you such shit and then do this fuck up the same fucking thing. It doesn't matter. You know what I would say, Steven? It doesn't matter. It's Ron. I was way off both sides. You fucked it up twice. I fucked it up so bad. That's OK. You know what, Steven? Same thing.
00:33:02
Speaker
It's, but it's not. Tucker, we just went through this. It's not. I'm so fucking tired. We have to hold ourselves to a standard here in this podcast, Tucker. What are you doing? People look to us, Tucker. Out of all the sources that exist on the internet, people turn to us for their names. Straight talk, facts.
00:33:27
Speaker
Information. I just thought that they thought we were dumb and it was funny. Ron. So Ron Friedman, the guy who who kind of created the show, he says, I'm a liberal and always was. So it made sense that the Joes would be, too, which is really funny when you consider that this show came out in the 80s and was able to do what it was able to do because of
00:33:52
Speaker
because of Reagan's horrible capitalist screeds. So, yeah, you get this weirdly left leaning military organization that just doesn't make a lot of sense on really fucking loves America. God damn. This guy sounds like a rocket to the top of the Statue of Liberty with the American fucking flag. He sounds like fireworks everywhere. Excuse me.
00:34:19
Speaker
We were trying to make jokes, sucker. Excuse us. Mine was better, but you'll never hear it now because I've started I've started it a thousand times. I feel like the creator of the G.I. Joe show is like Paul Verhoeven, but just on paper. Like he's the bark, you know, but he's not have the bite because this is military propaganda from top to bottom.
00:34:42
Speaker
I mean, it did a lot. It did a lot for military service among this generation. Like for people our age, like it did a lot for for from and maybe a slightly older. It did a lot for military recruitment for for that age. I'd say for a couple of generations. Yeah. Joe's been around for a while. It's not fucking going anywhere. Had those two live action movies. The first one did pretty OK. Three guys.
00:35:10
Speaker
Oh, that's right. Oh, God. I had forgotten about that. That's right. I had also forgotten. We're going to have to cover that at some point. So that's not getting a sequel. They wanted it to. It's not going to. Now, since that's a spinoff, it would be a main feed or unenfranchised. That'd be a main feed. If we wanted to do the unenfranchised, we could do the retaliation.
00:35:30
Speaker
which is one of a long line of sequels to movies that they decided to add the rock to in order to get to get a bigger box office. It's that journey to the mysterious island. It's fast five. I think there's at least one more. He was in the first journey to the center of the earth. No, I wasn't. OK, anyway, I've never seen any of those G.I. Joe movies.
00:35:55
Speaker
I really don't have any desire to, but actually to cover them on the podcast sounds pretty fun. Yeah, they're probably stupid. I'm actually. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And sometimes there's a time and a place. Mm hmm. This feels like the time and the place, boys. Yes, this must be the place.
00:36:15
Speaker
Yeah, there there are a total of one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten credited actors in the first journey to the center of the earth. None of them is named Dwayne The Rock Johnson. Really? And I'm thinking of the Witch Mountain remake they did, aren't I? I'm thinking either of that or of the Mummy 2. I'm thinking of Witch Mountain because he was in the first one, the second one.
00:36:39
Speaker
OK, I feel like they came out around the same time, like probably was similar on the poster, you know, probably. Look, Journey to is a movie that I don't think anyone remembers exists, but it does. So much like a lot of the rocks films. Right. I mean, we could probably do a rock month at some point. We've covered two of his films on this podcast already. So we watch Rampage. And for unenfranchised, we do Be Cool.
00:37:05
Speaker
We could do either be cool, which is my favorite performance of his because he he plays a gay actor. Yeah, he's actually really good. Hilarious. He's actually doing something in that movie shows some range in that movie. It's kind of amazing. It's like back when he was trying to prove that he could act as opposed to now where he's just like, I'm the biggest star in the world. No one fucking cares if I can. He's comfortable, man. He's comfortable. And yeah, we do that or we could do Journey to the Mysterio silent.
00:37:34
Speaker
Well, I want to I want to reason to watch Be Cool again because it's certainly not to see you. Joe retaliation. We could do that, too. But. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, what was I saying? I don't know. So I think you were saying.
00:37:54
Speaker
Yeah, that's right. That's what that's what I would say. That's what it was. Yeah, that's what it was. Oh, my God. And then transition to. So G.I. Joe as a as a franchise, again, starts in the 40s and 50s with Hasbro buying the model for Ken from Barbie and basically creating military like Barbie sized
00:38:20
Speaker
not a doll, it's an action figure was the was the tagline there to make boys OK with buying dolls. And those fell out of favor around the 70s because of this little thing called Vietnam. Weird, I know. Vietnam, Vietnam, the war in Vietnam. Fucking damn. There is.
00:38:44
Speaker
He liked to say the F word. He liked to say the F word a lot. He they tried to keep the brand around, like to change it up a little bit here and there. And then Star Wars came along and just fucking bodied everything everyone else was doing. Mattel Hasbro. So everyone else is now playing catch up with Kenner, who's decided it was this tiny little toy company that didn't know shit about shit. And now all of a sudden they are the dominant force in toys and everyone else is playing, just struggling to catch up.
00:39:14
Speaker
So with the rising cost of oil, petroleum, which is used to make plastic, they have to kind of reconfig – because they can't do the full 12-inch figures anymore. So they scale it down to the three and three-quarters-inch figures that we all know and love from our childhoods. Which is too far the other way. That was why I didn't buy GI Joe toys because they weren't action figure size. They were like so tiny. They were like Star Wars figure size. I can't tell with that shit.
00:39:41
Speaker
The thing I simultaneously loved and hated is that if you pulled like they were so are so many points of articulation there, there were two separate pieces and they were held together by like a really like a rubber band, like a nylon band. And you could snap that bitch and you would have broken toy. And that was your favorite part is that you could break it easily. Correct. Cool. Because then if you're if your mom had a rubber band and was very careful, she could probably put it back together.
00:40:09
Speaker
So you could just go off and break it again because it's your favorite part. Yep.
00:40:16
Speaker
It's a real interesting commentary on the state of the military in America, I guess. Yeah, yeah, it's got real heavy there for a second. It hit me once. So and again, because of the 80s, 80s got an 80. They're like, well, how do we sell this toy at the time that before the D D legislation of marketing? You have ways to market the children. You couldn't have a television show
00:40:44
Speaker
to sell toys, but you could have one to promote the comics. And so there was a partnership that Hasbro made with Marvel. Marvel would write the comics, and then the show would promote the comics and the comics would promote the toys.
00:40:57
Speaker
Which is the fun little loophole that made GI Joe like absolutely tapping your forehead. Fucking stereo in here. So that's how you get around that. And again, because GI Joe's were huge in the 80s, like massive.
00:41:16
Speaker
Um, and so they released the TV show. The TV show is insanely popular. Um, and they wept for there were no more worlds to conquer, but wait, there's the silver screen, uh, spurred on by Care Bears of the movie. They decide, Hey, let's, let's release all of these movies within the span of a year. And so between.
00:41:38
Speaker
Well, I think it's like a year and a half. So My Little Pony and Transformers get released in 86. This gets released in 87. It was supposed to be a theatrical release. But because of how poorly My Little Pony and Transformers did the year before, they pushed it to direct to video and then they did air it on TV, first as an actual feature length block and then as a five part miniseries on the show.
00:42:07
Speaker
And that's a shame because I think this one would have done well. I think it's probably done well in the box office. It would have done better. A little bit of a profit. Yeah, it would have at least done better. But they got cold feet and then they also scrapped the in development gem in the rock gem in the holograms movie that they had planned. Which is a damn shame, because if you saw that one that came out in like 2016, which we can cover on this podcast one day, let's do it. I need to take a big shit sometime soon.
00:42:34
Speaker
Truly outrageous. Truly, truly, truly outrageous. Glamour, glitter, fashion, fame. It's all there.
00:42:45
Speaker
Damn, you guys know I love TV theme songs, right? Yeah. I've heard. Is that a thing that's come up on this podcast before? I think so. Once or twice. Yeah. But yeah, at any rate. So yeah, that's kind of the history around this one. And yeah, it did pretty well on home video. So all the elements from this movie then get folded into the
00:43:11
Speaker
into the second season of the show, which comes out immediately after this movie.
00:43:18
Speaker
As fans are getting older, they kind of bristle at the sci-fi elements, and so it only lasts one more season after this movie comes out, and they're kind of done. They reboot it, they reference the movie, and then they move on, and then they start dumbing it down for kids a little more as the audience, as people age out of it, they need to reappeal the kids. Ninja Turtles becomes big, so then they start to become more ninja-focused. Snake Eyes becomes a much more prominent part of the team at that point.
00:43:47
Speaker
And it's kind of one of those we're chasing the trends now as opposed to we're the ones that set the trends. Now we're chasing whatever the current hot thing is to try to capitalize on people's love of that, which I think Transformers also does a lot.
Cobra La's Placeholder Name and Video Games
00:44:00
Speaker
That's not the side of that you want to be on. No, absolutely not. Well, cool episode, boys. See you guys next week. If you do what you do and you do it well, the right people will find it.
00:44:16
Speaker
And maybe they will, maybe they won't, who knows. But yeah, so that's kind of the- I mean, I know they leaned more into the sci-fi elements later. I might have actually watched it as a kid, but- I mean, Cobra La was like a placeholder name. They just kind of stuck that in, obviously a reference to Shangri-La. They're like, I don't know, this is, we can change this later. This is fine. But the Hasbro executives were like, this fucking rips, let's do this.
00:44:41
Speaker
And that became the name and it fucking sucks out loud. I hate that I really I really love when they first introduced the the dude from Cobra Law and they just got done telling Cobra Commander
00:44:58
Speaker
how much he sucks. Mm hmm. I think that was one of my favorite scenes in the movie, because all the villains in those 80s cartoons were comically incompetent. Chris Cole or no, they didn't always get called out and they just straight up called like his colleagues and his boss are like, yeah, you kind of suck or not sure why you're here.
00:45:18
Speaker
He's got some real star scream energy like the same kind of like lackey to the to the big boss, but notoriously a fuck up and kind of a coward. He's got shredder energy. Yeah. Seven turtle shredder energy for sure. For sure.
00:45:35
Speaker
So, yeah, it but I love that voice. That voice is fucking iconic. That sounds so painful. It hurts every time I hear it. Oh, I don't know how you do that. And don't shred your vocal chords. I really I don't know how you know, but God for Collins. Oh, sorry. Go ahead. No, go ahead. No, I would say Christopher Collins, RIP, by the way, he did die in 1994. Oh, that's a bummer. Yeah, he had a medical issue.
00:46:03
Speaker
But he was in a lot of stuff and the one thing I thought was very interesting that he was in is there's a TV show that's been going the rounds on all the Lost Media channels on YouTube called King Koopa's Cool Cartoons. Okay. Where a human being dresses up in a Bowser from Mario.
00:46:25
Speaker
costume and has a live-action show where he shows cartoons to children and Our boy Christopher Collins. He was King Koopa in that show. Hell yeah He was a lot of other stuff. I mean in like I'm looking at his really insane and and voice work. He started out as a stand-up comedian and
00:46:50
Speaker
And he was doing some acting, got into voice work, continued doing live action acting. He has a pretty, pretty extensive resume he's in just about anything that you can imagine. He was, you know why Cobra Commander has big Starscream energy?
00:47:08
Speaker
because Christopher Collins is the voice of Starscream. Yeah, that's why he's also the four different characters in this. He's also the voice of of Dr. Claw on Inspector Gadget. Yes, he is. He was also the original voice of Mr. Burns in Simpsons, as well as he was.
00:47:31
Speaker
Not just Mr. Burns, what else was he? Let me look real quick. Because he died, like... In like, 94, right?
00:47:40
Speaker
yeah and so he was like the first four episodes the simpsons he did uh i don't there was a couple others but mainly mr burns and then he died and so uh what's his nuts uh uh not harry shearer uh it is harry shearer harry shearer is the one who does the voice of mr burns yeah yeah he took over i get him and hank Azaria not them physically i can tell them physically apart very well but therefore some simpsons i it blends for me um
00:48:10
Speaker
But yeah, he was, the original was to burns. He's only on four episodes of the Simpsons, actually. That's what he died. Like he recorded four episodes. So yeah, that's big old fucking bummer. But yeah, I just thought that that was a lot of interesting stuff to say about him. And I'm glad we were able to talk about him. Well, he died in 94, but he worked on the Simpsons up through only 1990. So there may have been something else going on there.
00:48:34
Speaker
I don't know. Neither do I. I do. No. Once again, you poked holes in my story, Stephen. Sorry, man. You made me look like an asshole, Stephen.
00:48:47
Speaker
You know, I was doing I was doing karaoke Tuesday night, killing it as usual. And I realized why I'm so good at karaoke. It's because karaoke is all about going up there and acting like a fucking idiot. And you know what? I make looking like a fucking idiot look good. I mean, you've been doing it long enough. Yeah.
00:49:10
Speaker
Mm hmm. I do it in a way that's not off putting, which is rare. Hard to do. So, yeah, I figured that I figured that that out about myself this weekend or this Tuesday. Right on. Good stuff. Right on. What songs do you what's your what's your go to karaoke song, Tucker? My go to. I have three. They are Sylvia's Mother by Dr. Hook. Parents Just Don't Understand by DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince.
00:49:41
Speaker
and No Diggity by Black Street. Nice. Mine is David Lee Ross, Justin Gigolo, since you asked. Oh, fuck yeah, dude. Yeah, we got to go karaoke together, friend. That would be that would be sweet. We'll be amazed. You're invited to Brett.
00:49:58
Speaker
Um, I don't have a go to carry out these songs. I've never done it because I'd be way too anxious. So my anxiety would never. I was going to say that that kind of track. I've also done. That's why you get drunk, Brent. I almost I almost like.
00:50:14
Speaker
I almost got a date at a bar once because I sang Somebody to Love by Queen in a bar one time. So I thought you meant Jefferson Airplane, somebody to love Jim Carrey style from The Cable Guy. Oh, that's what I thought. Yeah, it's performed by Jefferson Airplane.
00:50:31
Speaker
from a little documentary called Gimme Shelter. A little documentary called Gimme Shelter about the Rolling Stones, their nightmare at Altamonte, et cetera, et cetera, that night. The Oakland chapter of the Hell's Angels had their way tonight. It's my turn. Jesus, Steven, can we move on? Let's move on, because I wanted to comment how the main villain of this movie's overarching client is the same as Queen Koopa from the Mario Brothers movie.
00:50:59
Speaker
Which one? You mean globulous? Yeah, globulous. His name is globulous, guys. Well, it's real gross. I wonder what that implies. I don't want to think about it, quite frankly. Must be his birthday.
00:51:15
Speaker
Same plot. Same plot. Real annoyed that humans took over instead of his species. So wants to be of all of all the humans. It's the exact same plot. It is. That is a live action, Mario. That's wow. Going back to our very our very first going back to our very first episode there. Right on. That's the reason it devolves humans into weird monster lizard people and not monkeys. I'm not sure. That's what happens to Cobra Commander. They turn him into a fucking snake.
00:51:44
Speaker
Well, in the Marios, Dino Hatton was like a different dimension where humans had evolved from lizards. So, well, no, that still doesn't make sense. Never mind. But they will be stupid. OK, they they go through the but they go. Looks great. They go into Manhattan at one point and they shoot the dude and he and monkey. That's, you know, where that comes from. So, yeah. Dennis Hopper pointing at the guy and going monkey. Yeah.
00:52:13
Speaker
It's great. We love it. We stand a legend. Dennis Hopper, R.I.P. Best Dennis Hopper performance. Mm hmm. I'll settle into the dead. Maybe I was going to say, tell me you haven't seen Blue Velvet without telling me you haven't seen Blue Velvet. I mean, I'm totally joking. I would never. And nobody's performance in Mario Brothers movie is a good one. So the only way that Blue Velvet, it scares me. Blue Velvet's so good. The only the only way you can think that
00:52:43
Speaker
The only way that any of those performances in the Mario Brothers movie could be someone's best performance is if that was the only movie they were ever in. If that's the only thing you ever did, then that's probably your best performance.
00:52:56
Speaker
I mean, I don't actually know that I'm thinking about it. They played the Iggy and Spike, those two guys. Fisher Stevens and oh, what's there? I never remember that actor names. I'm bad with actor names, but Fisher Stevens is one of them.
00:53:14
Speaker
pretty good yeah i feel like they were delivering kind of what they were there for that's kind of what those actors were kind of known for around then they were really good i wouldn't say it was their best performance i would say it's on par with pretty much anything else that they've got richard edson is the other actor's name i just looked that up except when fisher stevens did brownface for short circuit correct
00:53:37
Speaker
Fisher Stevens, though, recently in succession, though, right? That's what you're seeing. And yeah, that is, in fact, Fisher Stephen playing Hugo. And he fucking ruled succession. Good show. Also, in a second season episode of Always Sunny, he's in as well. Probably. Yeah, that tracks. And it's really bad that whenever I see him, I'm like, oh, that's a dude from Super Mario Brothers. That's probably what I should be doing. That's probably not what I should be doing. I don't think so. He's done so many other things, though. Yeah, that's what I recognize him from. Like short circuit.
00:54:06
Speaker
Short circuit is what I know him from the most and as racist as that is in hindsight. He's so fucking good in those movies. He is. He's in the new Wes Anderson movie. If you're a Wes Anderson fan, he's an asteroid city. He plays a character called Detective Number One.
00:54:23
Speaker
He was also apparently in the French dispatch and apparently he's like in tight with Wes Anderson. He's an isle of dogs, too. He's he's he's part of that group now. Yeah. OK, I mean, good for him. I'm glad he's getting worthy. He's got the look. He's got to look for it, especially nowadays. And he will also be in a future episode of this podcast, one for the money when we talk about that. So what's that? I don't even know what the fuck that is. It's based on the it's based on a series of books.
00:54:53
Speaker
Uh, it stars Catherine Heigl. Uh, Stephanie Plum is the name of the main character. Janet Ivanovich is the author. Uh, it was supposed to kick off a franchise based on that entire series and it didn't. So yeah, we can cover it. You just said it like it was something that I was supposed to know and be excited about, but I've never.
00:55:11
Speaker
ever heard of that in my entire life. Someone out there has heard of it and is excited about it. It might not be you guys, but someone out there probably is. The only reason I even know about that is because I worked at a bookstore for many years. So yes, you did when those books were coming out. So people bought them all the fucking time.
00:55:28
Speaker
And I sold them to those people who bought them all the fucking time. So I sold them all the fucking time. Books are tight. Yeah. Books are good. If you want to know what book I've been reading lately, head on over to patreon.com slash disenfranch pod and listen to the most the upcoming episode of What Are We Watching? Where we talk about what media we've been consuming. You should do that because it gets pretty wild over there sometimes. It really does. Because it is the TV and video games.
00:55:52
Speaker
it is by nature tangential tension tension am I saying that right tangential tangential there you go there it is yeah it is by nature that
00:56:06
Speaker
It really is because this show is very structured and streamlined. Is it? No, I just say, well, I'm saying we go against the grain grain on this. We do have a format, but it is. We we go and do our own thing a lot. But I'm saying like the what are we watching is made for that instead of fighting against a format or working with it. So it's fun times. I'm saying it's fun times. Join the Patreon. Check it out every pretty much every week.
00:56:34
Speaker
Yeah, pretty much unless unless Tucker forgets to edit and upload it. Yeah, that happens sometimes every now and again. Can we also talk about the fact that the the McGuffin in this movie is called the BET? Yeah, I think that's great. Pretty funny. I kind of love it. And I absolutely forget what it stands for. BET did not exist as a network at that time, if I recall. It stands for in this movie, it stands for broadcast energy transmitter.
00:57:04
Speaker
Uh, is what it stands for in this movie. And apparently it is the thing that you need to turn the entire world into. It's an, it's an EMP. Basically. Um, reverse EMP, isn't it? Like it gives everything energy instead of taking it away.
00:57:22
Speaker
Man, I don't know. I wasn't paying attention. I just thought the pew pews were cool. So BET launched as a full time network on July 1st, 1983. So it is coming up on its 40th birthday here in just a couple of weeks. Couldn't just couldn't just let me be right for a minute. Could you see? No, not if I can help it. No, no, you know what? I always say it's always better to know.
00:57:49
Speaker
So yes, thank you for, I was looking it up as well. I was gonna say something too. I'd almost gotten to that point. It looks like the network launched in January of 1980, actually. As a USA Network timeshare, but as a full channel, at least. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:58:04
Speaker
That's cool. I didn't really like I didn't know about it until like the early 90s is when we got it on cable because. Yeah, because I don't think it was a part of particularly in the Midwest. I don't think it was a part of a lot of pack of cable packages. You know, I miss one hundred and six and Park. You guys are watch one hundred and six and Park. Nope. I don't know. It was like TRL set for on on BT. So it was all about an R&B videos and it was so good.
00:58:30
Speaker
Right on. Anyway, 106 and Park is rad. Go watch it. It's not on. But if you can somehow, I'm sure there's old episodes of it on the Internet. So because that's what the Internet is for is old episodes of shit that you're just like, I don't know where to find this. Oh, I don't know. I'll Google it on the Internet and see if anyone else has it. But and look, a lot of the times it's out there. You know, you can find shit on YouTube all the time, man. The other day, I remembered a show called that I used to watch on Nickelodeon called Wienerville.
00:58:59
Speaker
About the face and he had the little little hands. Yeah. Yeah, dude. And so I went and googled that and you better believe there's all sorts of Wienerville clips on YouTube.
00:59:12
Speaker
Yes, that's a rabbit hole. You can go down if you want to. I don't know. We lose the shit. All Nickelodeon shows. That's just a huge rabbit hole. You can go back down. Absolutely. I got some hey, dude, for a minute. Discovered some. Discovered some audio from the unaired Angry Beavers finale.
00:59:32
Speaker
Uh, where they, they talk about basically they just make fun of Nickelodeon the entire episode. Um, and why, and how they're canceled. It's like, basically they get noticed that they're canceled and then they have to figure out why. And they basically are shit on Nickelodeon for 15 minutes. It's great. And for some reason, Nickelodeon execs didn't like that. Hmm. Can't imagine. Cause they're too busy.
01:00:02
Speaker
Being that one guy that they did the documentary on. Oh, weird with. Yeah, they really liked feet. Yeah, they were they were busy doing that instead. Yeah, that guy's that guy's disgusting. Yeah, he was on he was on that show. Head of the class. Remember head of class. I do. He was an actor on that show. I had the board game based on that show. He was also an actor in a movie that we can no longer cover on this podcast called Good Burger.
01:00:28
Speaker
He was in that movie as well. So excited for the sequel. I can't wait. I just wrote that song for this moment in the podcast. So get to copywriting that, please. So no one steals it. Yeah, I don't know anything about that. But but, yeah, so I don't know what else we got to say about G.I. Joe. We've gone on for about an hour. What else we have to say? Joe is there. He's a real American hero. He's fighting who, Tucker?
01:00:59
Speaker
There it is. Yeah, there's some video games, guys. Did you know that? You think a toy line franchise movie like this would have video games? You bet your ass. I would rather not bet my ass, but, you know. Well, I mean, you could because it's a pretty safe bet. OK. Yeah, you wouldn't be listening to anything, Steven. You're good. All right. Well, I don't have much to lose. So so we get the first game in nineteen eighty three on the Atari 2600 GI Joe Cobra Strike.
01:01:26
Speaker
Yes. It is only loosely based on the toy line.
01:01:31
Speaker
Oh, it's an Atari 2600 game. Like it's loosely based on nothing. So pretty much it's like a couple like dots like doing maybe something that's recognizable. And I mean, their screenshots look like it was just a giant Cobra in the middle of the screen. Nice. Yeah. But yeah, no, I mean, it was published by Parker Brothers back when they were doing video game publishing before they got into the board game business. Huh? So yeah. Then.
01:02:01
Speaker
In 1985, we get a G.I. Joe real American hero for the Apple II and Commodore 64. Yeah, that's just a, here's a member of the G.I. Joe team, Fred Cobra. Some bleeps and some bloops. Some bleeps and some bloops. Then, it's kind of weird, we get into like,
01:02:28
Speaker
It was just action force games, which is what G.I. Joe was called in Europe. Right. So it's just a couple of action force games. And they're not an NES game, I guess, one that was an NES. Oh, we're getting there.
01:02:41
Speaker
So yeah another so like I mentioned there's the two action force games one in 1987 once in 1998 1988 I Can't tell if they were only released in Europe. I have to imagine they were since they're not labeled GI Joe Yeah, so I'm not sure we ever got those two, but they were available for the Commodore 64 and the Amstrad CPC whatever the fuck that is I'm Strad
01:03:10
Speaker
I want to see a game where snow job and beach head team up. Yeah. Yeah. And they just call it. But they're both doing fellatio. Call it. Call it. Call it snow job and beach head double team.
01:03:25
Speaker
There you go. Fire. Nice. Which I don't know. So funny. So it's what is weird. I don't know. Maybe it's no job is the new, you know, Tundra based character because in the next game in 1991, the actual one that you were talking about, talking to the one for the Nintendo Entertainment System has a character named Blizzard.
01:03:49
Speaker
It was pretty much addressed exactly like Snow Job. Yeah, just because they had already done like a Snow character didn't mean they couldn't do other ones. There were multiple characters that were similarly themed just with different silly names. Because, I mean, that's the GI Joes would just take on whatever threat was popular. So you would have to have a number of Joes equipped for that particular job.
01:04:13
Speaker
Right, so yeah, I mean this one This one fear looks like a mix between Contra and Metal Gear. Hmm. Oh nice. So Top-down or side scrolling side scrolling that's that's the Contra aspect and then it looks like there's other elements to make it a little bit like Metal Gear so That makes sense then in 1992 we get GI Joe the Atlantis Factor and
01:04:41
Speaker
Ooh, that sounds cool. Well, yeah, they explore the wonderful world of Atlantis. Hail Atlantis. Atlanta. So that one was also available for the only available for the Nintendo Entertainment System, even sports the Nintendo approved seal in the corner. Official seal. Did did wet did wetsuit get a prime roll in that one or?
01:05:09
Speaker
He does. Yes, yes. There are several playable characters. General Hawk, Roadblock, Wetsuit, Snake Eyes, Storm Shadow and Duke. And then finally, we have at least of the original, you know, cartoon G.I. Joe in 1992, we get G.I. Joe, real American hero.
01:05:32
Speaker
Um, which is just, so this one, this one was released in arcades. So this was an arcade game. I know this one. I know this third person rail shooting game. Yeah. And you're one of four GI Joe operatives. Um, you know, you had four up to four people at once. And yeah, it was one of the first like rail shooters, I think. So not common.
01:06:07
Speaker
that's probably where I saw it
01:06:18
Speaker
But yeah, after this, we don't see another G.I. Joe game until 2009, it looks like. The Rise of the Cobra tie on. Yeah, that's when that's when we get the live action video games of which there's like five or six. So but we're not talking about the live action G.I. Joe. We're talking about the cartoon. That's that's all. G.I. Joe. That's all for the video game. That's all. That's it. So this movie, G.I. Joe. Yo, Joe.
01:06:50
Speaker
If I recall in the cartoon, which a lot of 90s cartoons did, there'd be a transition between scenes and it was always like flash the logo and play a little bit of the theme song and then go to
Broadcasting Plans and Movie Features
01:07:01
Speaker
the next scene. Which is kind of how this movie starts. They start with the logo swooping down and fucking A.
01:07:08
Speaker
This movie was not released in theaters, so there's no box office on this one. It was released direct to video, and it was released, however, on August 14th of 1987, and the box office that weekend looked like this. And number one is a little movie called Steak Out. What if there was a Steak Out? That's the Emilio Estevez Richard Dreyfus two-hander.
01:07:35
Speaker
And then you've also got in second place, one of my top five favorite Bond movies, The Living Daylights, which is the first of the- Oh, you love that one. I do. That's the first of the Dalton Bonds. Dalton, my favorite Bond. Go check out our top five Bonds on the Patreon.
01:07:51
Speaker
Yep. Also check out the Rocketeer episode of Disney franchise for more about Timothy Dalton. Hell yeah. We go deep on Timothy Dalton, that episode as I recall. Timmy D. Timmy D, my favorite bond. I love that guy. In third place, can't buy me love out new this week. And in fourth place, no way out. How does Kevin Costner keep getting work?
01:08:13
Speaker
Um, and, uh, number five is a little biopic called La Bamba Parabala, La Bamba. Wait. And Lisa Cito in a polka de gracia. Wait, you guys. Guess what's coming out on the Criterion Collection in September, you guys. Guess what it is? La Bamba. It's La Bamba. I pre-ordered it, you guys. I'm so excited. I also pre-ordered The Trial, Steven, because I fucking love that movie. Yeah. Not only do you have Anthony Perkins, you got Orson Welles directing, and it is, in my opinion,
01:08:41
Speaker
the best Kafka novel. Metamorphosis is good. That's the most well-known, I think. That's what everyone knows. But the trial is so much better because it's like metamorphosis, but even more vague. And that's what's great about it.
01:08:56
Speaker
And I love that movie and I love that book. I love Anthony Perkins. And I love Orson Welles. And I just can't wait. I haven't seen it in so long. It's another lie. I've watched The Trial. I'm so excited to watch it. And it's 4K. It's one of the four that I don't own. So I'm actually very much looking forward to having that on 4K. Oh, I will. Don't worry about it. I will. Absolutely. I'll let you know how it is, man. Please do. I even look the special features on either of those because I don't give a fuck. No, neither do I.
01:09:22
Speaker
Gots to
Box Office Performances and Cultural Contributions
01:09:23
Speaker
have them. Rounding out the top 10, you've got Masters of the Universe, see our previous episode on that. In three weeks, it has earned $10 million, so not doing well. It dropped from two down to six in its third weekend. In seventh place, a little movie called Disorderly's, which I know absolutely nothing about. Starring a group of people called the Fat Boys, apparently.
01:09:47
Speaker
Oh, the fat boys. They were a rap group. They did a version of Wipeout, but it was a rap. And they also did a song for Nightmare on Elm Street, part four.
01:10:04
Speaker
about Freddie and Robert England was in the video and it's really cool. Okay. Bad boys, man. Footprints of the Fresh Prince doing a rap song about Freddie. This one was officially licensed though and they didn't almost get sued. Yeah, that's good.
01:10:21
Speaker
In eighth place, boys. Oh, OK. No, just roll right over the fat boys, Steven. Not like they were one of the seminal groups in rap history. You don't even worry about it. Like I was trying to roll right over them, but you won't let me. Apparently you can. They roll real well themselves, man, because they're fat boys. Oh, that was the whole thing. They were just really, really fat dudes, like just very rotund. And you know what? We respect them for it. We stand legends. Yeah.
01:10:48
Speaker
We stand a fat legend. We stand a fat legend. When you put it in your name, you know, you deserve respect. Right. You don't try to hide it up and call it fluffy or something else. No, no. They weren't the big boned boys, Steven. No, or the the Husky boys.
01:11:06
Speaker
That's the one. That's what if they were younger, they were the husky boys. Well, they were like preteeds. They were the husky boys. Uh, we have fun. We do in a place. Weren't you the one that had to go somewhere in talking about a soft out. OK. In a place we have maybe one of the best movies of 1987 RoboCop.
01:11:31
Speaker
I've been in theaters for five weeks and has earned $38 million so far. Yeah, you would. I have the criterion DVD of that and it is glorious. And then in ninth place, another maybe one of Schumacher's best, The Lost Boys.
01:11:51
Speaker
It's up there, yeah. It's up there. 10th place, a little movie called Summer School, which has been out for four weeks. And then in 11th place, I just going to mention this one real quick because it's another one of the best movies of 1987. A little movie called Predator. Yeah, that was pretty good. Yeah. An alternate version of Steven and Brett covered once upon a time.
01:12:12
Speaker
I guess I seem to recall that. Yeah, so. So there you go. That is the box office. The Tomatometer score on GI Joe Cohen. The movie is a 43%. No critics consensus to speak of. But there it is. Not a lot of critics like this one. It has absolutely no meta score.
01:12:34
Speaker
But it is on Letterboxd, and on Letterboxd the score is a 3.2.
Ratings and Comparisons with Transformers
01:12:40
Speaker
Brett out of five stars, how are you rating G.I. Joe, Colin, the movie? One and a half. Hey, Tucker, what about yourself? Eight millimeter is Joe Schumacher's best movie, and I give this movie two stars. I did say maybe. Maybe Schumacher's best. And I also give this two stars.
01:13:02
Speaker
So there you go. It's fine. So I didn't hate it as much as I thought I was going to, compared to you guys. So that's not bad. Well, for me, it was the kind of movie that I would never choose to watch. Right. But if I watched it, I would not be mad. Yeah, I would put this one just above Transformers, the movie. Just above. Yeah, I know you didn't like that one. Yeah, you made that very clear. Don't make me relive it.
01:13:33
Speaker
We've we've we've we've made it a point of pride on this podcast to try not punching down and then Tucker destroyed that in one episode. Fuck them. Fuck those motherfuckers. So there we go. That is that is our episode on 1987's G.I. Joe, Colin, the movie next week. We're going to wrap up our 80s animation extravaganza with a guest that
01:14:01
Speaker
I think we probably should have on any animated theme month that we ever have. But yeah. So.
Social Media and Closing Remarks
01:14:09
Speaker
Yeah, any any final words, gentlemen? Nope. All right. Well, in that case, Cobra Cobra, you can find us on social media at disenfranch pod. We're on Twitter, Instagram, letterboxed, Facebook and YouTube at disenfranch pod. You can shoot us an email disenfranch pod at Gmail dot com.
01:14:30
Speaker
Or you can swing by our Patreon, patreon.com slash disenfranch pod, which we've plugged multiple times throughout the course of this episode. While you're on the internet, swing on by Apple Podcast or Spotify, leave us a nice five star rating and review so that people can find us and we can build that sweet, sweet audience that we deserve or we feel we deserve.
01:14:50
Speaker
You can find me. I'm Steven Foxworthy. I'm your host. You can find me on Twitter, Instagram, and Letterboxd at chewywalrus. Brett, where can we find you on the socials? You can find me on Instagram and Letterboxd at sus underscore warlock. Fantastic. Tucker, yourself? I'm on the YouTubes at Einstein09.
01:15:14
Speaker
Um, you know, I've spelled it before you guys know what I'm talking about. If not, go listen to a previous episode. Yeah. This, this is, if this is your first episode, we hope you liked it well enough to listen to previous episodes because you'll have to figure that whole ice 909 shit out yourself. If you don't, uh, I also have, uh, an Insta scam.
01:15:34
Speaker
called Tux mugs. It's at instascam.com or whatever at Tuck underscore. I don't even know how it works. Tuck underscore mugs. I don't even know how the Internet works at Tuck underscore mugs. Yeah, you can tell you have a lot to do with that account. Yeah. I expect some posts soon because I have some in the backlog, so.
01:15:55
Speaker
Sorry. Maybe maybe they'll also get posted soon. Who knows? Nobody knows. We'll get to him eventually. That's it. That's all I do on the social media is Brett. I can't stand it. I need you to send me your cat right now. All right. Are you seeing how cute this motherfucker is, Steven? It's looking at his little ears. Look at his little ears. He's just very concerned about what Brett is doing right now. Like, why don't you love me? Father, don't you love me? Thank you, Father.
01:16:26
Speaker
Oh, hey, nobody said Happy Father's Day to me yet today, and the day is almost over. Can you believe that shit? Happy Father's Day. Sometimes I forget you're a father, but yeah, Happy Father's Day. Thank you. I get that a lot. Has your child wished you a Happy Father's Day today? In spirit, yes. OK, all right on. She's not good expressing those kinds of feelings, you know. It's a lot of big emotions. It's all good, man.
01:16:47
Speaker
But yeah, that is all for the episode on G.I. Joe, the movie from 1987. So until next week, I am your host, Steven Foxworthy, for my co-host Brett Wright and Tucker. Until next time, now you know, and knowing is half the battle. G.I. Joe. Fuck yeah.
01:17:16
Speaker
you