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227 - Zatōichi (2003) w/ Samuel Dumas
43 Plays17 days ago
“Death is too good for you. Finish your life as a blind man.”
It’s the second week of our Big in Japan 2: Even Bigger theme month and we’re welcoming back our good buddy Samuel Dumas from The Department of Menial Humor to talk about this modern remake of the classic Japanese blind swordsman character that’s influenced everything from Daredevil’s mentor to Richard “The Fugitive” Kimble! Along the way, you can also hear Sam and Stephen talk speculate on the future of their original podcast Rule of Thirds and experience Tucker having an existential crisis in real time! Listen now!
Even with his eyes closed, he still can’t see a thing. If your eyes are open, maybe you can see for yourselves what our buddy Samuel Dumas has going on right now:
- @iamyourpallbearer on Instagram
- Find The Department of Menial Humor online by looking for them @dept.menialhumor on Instagram, @dept.ofmenialhumor on TikTok, and @TheDepartmentofMenialHumor on YouTube! Make sure you also join their Patreon and buy their merch!
We may not see much and, honestly, we may not post all that much, but what we DO post you can find in the following places:
- @Disenfranchpod on Bluesky, Letterboxd, and YouTube.
- Email us your thoughts or requests to disenfranchpod@gmail.com
- Rate and review us on Apple Podcasts and Spotify!
- Find Stephen at @ChewyWalrus on Bluesky and Letterboxd.
- Check out Stephen’s first novel - Check In, Check Out - on Amazon, now available in paperback or ebook: https://amzn.to/44idk8y
- Find Brett at @sus_warlock on Letterboxd.
- Find Tucker at @icenine09 on YouTube and Instagram and @tuck_mugs on Instagram.
- Join our Patreon for exclusive bonus content, maybe one day including the entire back catalog of Rule of Thirds at https://patreon.com/Disenfranchpod
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to Failed Film Franchises
00:00:15
Speaker
you
00:00:22
Speaker
The franchise rights alone will make us rich beyond our wildest dreams. Even with our eyes wide open, we can't see a thing. We're the Disenfranchised Podcast, that podcast all about those franchises of one, those films that fancy themselves, full-fledged franchises before falling flat on their face after the first film.
Movie Critique: A Relieved Discussion
00:00:40
Speaker
Joining me as always, my co-host, ah the man who would gladly trade his sense of sight for the opportunity to never have to see this movie in the first place, it's Tucker. Hey, Tucker.
00:00:52
Speaker
Hello, Steven. how we doing, buddy? Doing alright. Doing fantastic. I feel really good. In fact, I'm elated because you know what? No, what? The movie's over and I don't ever have to fucking watch it again.
00:01:09
Speaker
So, Ivan, it's like, you know, you guys ever almost die? Never happen you? Yeah. Maybe? No? Okay. We'll see what, when you almost die and you wake up the day after and realize that you're not dead,
00:01:22
Speaker
Like, you're in the best mood. So that's why, like, Stephen was getting my texts during this movie, and they were not nice, and they were upset, and the angry, and distraught.
00:01:35
Speaker
But as soon as it was over, best mood ever.
00:01:40
Speaker
Feeling good. Feeling great. How are you?
Theme Month: 'Big in Japan 2, Even Bigger'
00:01:42
Speaker
it doing Doing fine. um we are ah This is episode two of our second ever sequel theme month, Big in Japan 2, colon, even bigger.
00:01:53
Speaker
ah Last week, we covered a movie we did not enjoy, Versus. This week... this week We're covering another movie, Gio Wonder, How Tucker Felt About It.
Guest Samuel Dumas Joins the Talk
00:02:03
Speaker
But we're not alone. We are joined by friend of the podcast. And I would wager the biggest fan I know of this series. In fact, we have him on for the stuff I know he's a fan of because I know he's got a ton of things to say.
00:02:16
Speaker
And I don't know half as much as he does. It's Samuel Dumas, everybody. back Welcome back to the show. Sam, how's it going? Hey, it is going. Thanks for having me back. I also hate 2000s Versus.
Critique of 'Versus': Plot vs Action
00:02:28
Speaker
why is that highly oriented movie it's too much i never finished it it was too boring i'm like yeah oh god yeah it is simultaneously too much and not enough in the plot department um it goes like highly right i think the director's like uh supposed to be good but i've never seen he's the may not meet train guy Versus is like a Pixies song, but like in a bad way.
00:02:51
Speaker
Because like a Pixies song is loud, quiet, loud. You know, like there's a quiet part and there's a loud part. And that's how Versus is. Like there's action and then there's so much not action. And then there's action.
00:03:02
Speaker
and But just in the worst way. yeah Like the action is too much. And the stuff that's not action is not enough. Oh, wait, he did a Zoomy. I liked a Zoomy.
00:03:13
Speaker
That was good. Okay. Okay. Well, anyways. Okay. Redemption. Guys. Godzilla Final Wars. Hey, that's the one where he fights the American Godzilla. Yeah.
00:03:23
Speaker
the one where he fights the American Godzilla. Yeah. Yeah. And just like, he's there for five seconds because regular ass Godzilla's like, nah, dude. Well, yeah. And all a sudden, Satan's coming back around on this movie.
00:03:34
Speaker
They had a roster to get through for that. He killed every monster. Yeah, well, that's... Well, you know, I read that actually that Godzilla is ah the American Godzilla is officially part of like the whole Godzilla canon, but they call him Zilla. Yep.
00:03:50
Speaker
Because, yeah, I think that's the one who explained this to me. Yeah, yeah. Look at that. Yeah. I love that. Also, that was the first movie I realized that sometimes people speak English in foreign movies.
00:04:03
Speaker
I was so confused by some of that movie because there's an American actor in it who's the best part of that movie, by the way. ah But he speaks English. He doesn't speak Japanese. Why everyone else is speaking Japanese, it's kind of funny. Oh, that's wild. Well, because they can read each other's subtitles. so Yeah. Like the Japanese people can see his words as subtitles and he can see all the Japanese but le yeah Speaking of subtitles, Zatoichi...
2003 Zatoichi Movie: Initial Thoughts
00:04:27
Speaker
Yes, we are covering the 2003 Takeshi Kitano remake Zatoichi based on the franchise of the same name ah written by, directed by, and starring Takeshi Kitano, aka Beat Takeshi as Zatoichi.
00:04:43
Speaker
ah Several other actors in it as well. I'm going to do my best. ah Tadanobu Asano, Michio Okusu, Yui Natsukaya, ah yui nata naukaya Kawa, sorry, excuse me.
00:04:58
Speaker
i'm gonna I'm just going to stop there. I'm i'm just going to further embarrass myself and probably create an international incident if I keep going. Probably. but But yeah, um what a cast.
00:05:09
Speaker
What a picture.
Diverse Opinions on Zatoichi Remake
00:05:14
Speaker
can't agree with either of those. It's actually going to be silent. like here's Here's the thing. i don't I think it's pretty safe to say none of us really enjoyed our time with this movie. um yeah But Sam, you... Sam's like, I did. what are you talking about? No, don't throw me under that bus.
00:05:32
Speaker
i' I have more emotional connection to this and I feel the same way about what what what does. Who? who Oh, I'm sorry. The letter J. Sorry, guys. I'm trying to figure it out still.
00:05:43
Speaker
um No, Sammy is grandfathered in So for the rest of this episode, Sammy is allowed to call me by my first name, my Christian name. um Is this the first time your Christian name has ever not been beeped on the main feed?
00:05:59
Speaker
Who says it hasn't been beeped? Touche. ah Because Sammy, maybe as a challenge, you just keep calling me by that name. We'll see how far I get into the episode before I give up on beeping it.
00:06:10
Speaker
Okay, just, I'm gonna
Casual Chat: First Names and Nicknames
00:06:12
Speaker
get this in here while we're still early on. Fuck you, man! Fuck you, dude! Since you're gonna be beeping shit anyway, I figured you might as well.
00:06:23
Speaker
about to listen this whole episode while I edit it, aren't I? I mean, you did just give Sam the challenge. I did, i did. Yes, Sammy, like, for real. I don't like to deadname people, so i want to make sure that I'm giving you the proper names. No, no, no, no, no. no no no no no no it's it's Look, it's not that deep.
00:06:40
Speaker
Like, if it if it were a dead name situation, I would instruct my parents not to call me the J word anymore. But, you know, they are grandfathered in. In fact, they gave me that name. So I'm going to let them tell call me that, you know. I'm a little bird.
00:06:54
Speaker
And Sammy, you're in that same boat. Like, you you have known me. That's true. That's true. You were part of that process somehow. Even though it was like, I don't know, four or five years before you were born? At least, yeah. At least. At least, yeah.
00:07:11
Speaker
It's a spiritual thing, guys. Yes. i yes yeah Very much so. For real, Sammy, don't worry about it. You can call me what you want to call me, but Steven, you have to call me Tucker.
00:07:22
Speaker
i'm I was not planning on calling you anything else. Look, I respect you enough not to blaspheme in front of you, Steven, but not enough to let you use my first name. I'm not planning on using your first name.
00:07:34
Speaker
Okay. i Why am I getting chucked under the bus here? What the fuck did I do? i just thought it would be a fun bit. I was looking around with you. Throwing Steven under the is always a fun bit.
00:07:44
Speaker
yeah yes greg at thunder Yeah, it's that. It's the best. It's our national pastime. Yes. Chuck in my fat ass under a bus. Hooray. there we go but but We are here to cover the 2003 Zatoichi.
First Encounters with Zatoichi
00:07:59
Speaker
And the reason I asked if you wanted to be on this episode, Sam, is because I seem to recall years ago having a conversation with you in which you shared with me your love of this character and this franchise.
00:08:13
Speaker
Is that safe to say? Yes, even though i've only, up before you asked me to be on this podcast, I had only ever seen five movies. The first five. Out of a possible 26 in the original series, yes. Correct. Yeah, 26 in the original series, I had only seen up to five. And I'll explain why. There's actually a good reason why.
00:08:31
Speaker
You gotta to get to six. six But at this point, I have seen 11 of the originals. I've seen 11 of the originals. And then this 2013, I wouldn't even call it a reboot. I would actually call it a continuation.
00:08:44
Speaker
Okay. I mean, it feels very remake. It's got remake vibes all over it just because those early 2000 remake things. Yeah. Yeah. It's really weird. There's a weird history with this one.
00:08:55
Speaker
This, this, this cursed movie. I can't wait to hear you get into it. Yeah, weird. So, yeah. Yeah, but yeah, no. Yeah, it's safe to say I'm a big fan of the character. I first saw a trailer for a Zadouichi movie on a Shogun Assassin DVD.
00:09:09
Speaker
I thought, oh, shit, I want more of this. And then I thought I got the first movie. And apparently the trailer I saw was for movie number like 24. So, You had a long way to go.
00:09:20
Speaker
had a long way to go and I hadn't got that far yet. But I'm going to finish. i am like I'm locked in into the series now. series awesome. 11 movies, not one bad one. Imagine 11 good movies. So here's here's the thing, Sam. much Much in the same way that the Roland Emmerich Godzilla, another episode you were on, was my first exposure to the character of Godzilla...
00:09:42
Speaker
This movie, the Takeshi Kitano remake, is my first exposure to the character of Zatoichi. So what should I have known going in? What would have increased or maybe prohibited my enjoyment of this film?
00:09:56
Speaker
What should I have known as resident Zatoichi scholar? School us all, please. I would actually want to hear from you guys first on your pi on your opinion. I want to hear what your opinion of this character is first.
00:10:09
Speaker
ah so for For a reason. But I would actually argue this is not your first exposure to Zatoichi, because he is arguably one of the most popular characters of all time. Because
Zatoichi's Cultural Influence
00:10:19
Speaker
every single piece of media... Right, it's a commonly recurring trope. yeah Right, because every piece of the media that he had consumed has had that trope in at some point, as a throwback, and he is the original of that.
00:10:30
Speaker
trope like that character also daredevil movies daredevil yeah like there's no way daredevil wasn't some in some way inspired by that no his master is straight up the is straight up zadoigi oh that's true yeah dickens yeah see yes yeah that's right yeah makes a lot of sense yeah that you think yeah yeah no that's an example right there that of of that you you see the character and everything uh um So probably not your first, technically, not your first exposure, but your I guess your first exposure to the character proper.
00:11:02
Speaker
To that that specific. And again, I knew about the character. I knew about the trope. I could probably have recognized it in a few places, but this is yeah my first Zatoichi movie. And there have been, like we said, scads.
00:11:13
Speaker
Yeah, I want to hear what you guys think of the character first. Like, okay would you watch more movies with this character? And it what's what's your opinion on this character? may May I begin with just one question?
00:11:26
Speaker
Can begin with just one question here? um Is he really blind in the original ones? Yes. Yeah. Okay, good. I think. I'm only 11 movies in. I'm pretty sure. Like, that was such bullshit at the end where he's like, look, I'm not actually blind.
00:11:44
Speaker
Because I'm just... But then at the very end, like, psych, I really actually am. Is that what he was saying? don't get it, man. He trips over a rock and is like, i I'm still blind as a bat, even with my eyes open, is basically what he was saying.
00:11:57
Speaker
But he's not actually... He can see, though. That's supposed to the final part line. i' I don't think you can. I don't think you can. Actually, I am interested because if there's 26 of those motherfuckers,
Zatoichi Character Analysis
00:12:10
Speaker
obviously they were doing something right. There's only one of these.
00:12:13
Speaker
yeah And it's been 22 years. ah yeah And we are covering it on this podcast because of our format. There's been two or three other reboots since then. Yes, but there hasn't been sequel to this movie, is I'm saying. Right, right, right. Correct.
00:12:26
Speaker
There's a Takeshi Miike play that was filmed. ah Miike, a guy that we've covered a couple times on this podcast. Very prolific. And yes. And then there was another one called Zatoichi The Last.
00:12:39
Speaker
And then I think there's a female Zatoichi called Ichi. I've heard good things about that from Zatoichi fans, so but I've not seen Right. And her like master is Zatoichi, but she is kind of following in his footsteps. so yeah So she's daredevil in that one.
00:12:54
Speaker
Yes. I heard it's good, but that's from Zatoichi fans. But Zatoichi fans also like this movie for some reason. Dude, everybody likes this movie. IMDB, 10 out of 10. The whole free review, 10 out of 10. And I'm like, did we watch the same movie?
00:13:09
Speaker
Did we watch the same cut of the same movie? I was so bothered. I went into the deep forums looking for like sub forums for people to decide. But no, it's all just like, oh yeah, it's a good movie. Underrated. Really good.
00:13:19
Speaker
Yeah. like There's no dissenters here? Yeah. We're the three. We're the voices of dissent. We did it. We did it, you guys. We're the weird ones.
00:13:32
Speaker
here Okay, so in the interest of folding full disclosure, i was high when I watched this movie, which may affect my rating. Fantastic. um movie I you went to my local dispensary, and I got an infused latte, and I had a great afternoon.
00:13:51
Speaker
And I i was just coming down as we were starting recording. I'm sorry that the that the movie ruined your latte.
00:14:03
Speaker
Honestly, if i could go back if I could go back in time to save your day, i would like show up in a portal and give you movie number six in the original series to watch. I wouldn't have had a damn thing to talk about on this podcast, but... don't care. At least maybe the guy that saw the good one.
00:14:18
Speaker
I was telling Tucker before we started, like i was... um I had a really great afternoon. I put this on. I watched it. i I had the hardest time following this movie. yeah And I wasn't sure if it was because of the editing or the fact that I was stoned. But I had the toughest time following this movie. I had questions about the plot to ask you.
00:14:39
Speaker
Because I don't know. but Look, it's it's because the this movie is it's about four or five different plots, none of which involve our main character. No. Apparently.
00:14:51
Speaker
He's just kind of there. i ah He's there. He passes in and out of them sometimes. Yes. Fantastic. Whatever. but And none of them go anywhere. like The best that they wrap anything up...
00:15:02
Speaker
is he kills the bodyguard, bodyguard's wife kills herself. I'm like, I guess that's the ending to their story. Well, they got screwed. Which, what what the hell was their story? Okay, no, we'll come back to that.
00:15:12
Speaker
She was sick. Did she know he's going to die? He's an idiot. Yeah. They're both fucking idiots. I don't know. Okay, that's actually... that's actually her or something so I'm to give you a little thing. Every single character that wasn't Zadwichi in this movie was amazing. It would belong in a classic Zadwichi movie.
00:15:32
Speaker
But like that Ronin, like that character right there, that's something that that that there's actually characters like that in the original series. Because this also takes place during the time right before the Meiji Restoration. So samurai are almost all illegal at this point too. So they're all bandits and wandering Ronin.
00:15:51
Speaker
Did they have handguns at that point in history? Yes. So the isolation is starting to break down so you're getting more influx of guns were illegal. That was a very illegal thing.
00:16:03
Speaker
Okay. Because I saw the good dude pull out the gun and I was like, wait a minute. Yeah, they would Wait, are we? Yeah. ah know If we can, if we can. 40s, 50s. Sorry. If we can step back momentarily to what we were talking about, um about, see, I lost it. I knew it, man.
00:16:21
Speaker
Fuck. I was like, remember it, remember it, remember it, remember it, okay, here's my chance. Sorry. You held it too tight. No, what I was going to say is this does really give like fugitive vibes where like if this were a series, it would just be him going to different places, interacting with different people and saving them.
00:16:37
Speaker
It's like the fugitive series or something like like X-Files or Supernatural, like that kind of show where somebody goes around and just tells That's what the series is.
Zatoichi: The Traveling Hero
00:16:45
Speaker
That's he goes, he's, cause ah these aren't samurai movies. I'm way that. These are samurai movies.
00:16:49
Speaker
These are Yakuza gangster movies. And he was one from town to town, helping townsfolk in the downtrodden and the injustice. He is a malevolent force of good. Like the original character. He's the A-Team.
00:17:02
Speaker
I would say... the A-Team. Yeah. He is the A-Team? Yeah, he is the one man 18. and and and If you can find if you need help, if you can or ah if you need if you you feel have a problem, if no one else can help and if you can find him, maybe you can hire Zatoichi.
00:17:18
Speaker
That's what I'm saying. In these in these kinds of setups, like I say, with like the fugitive and supernatural stuff like that, you're not you don't hire someone. You don't seek them out.
00:17:30
Speaker
They come to you. Like in in the instance of what I'm assuming how Zatoichi is in the original films and how the fugitive is, this motherfucker is just wandering around. and The fugitive, he's trying – he's a fugitive.
00:17:42
Speaker
So he's obviously going from place to place. He finds the trouble. He finds the trouble. I want to point at that actually is another example of knowing Zatoichi in ah culture. The fugitive is a remake of Zatoichi.
00:17:55
Speaker
Okay. believe that. feed the fugitive that no yeah that follows that' because zadoicchi is a fugitive in the thing he is killed so many yakuza biting the first couple of movies a man fucked up the underworld he is actually fugis so he's constantly on the run but he ends up in town in town he doesn't like violence he tries not to fight he tries to resolve everything peacefully And he actually resolves a lot of stuff without his sword. Like, he's super clever, very intelligent, very charming. He talks a lot.
00:18:20
Speaker
Like, the movies are about this character. This is a lovable, fun character that gets dark real fast because he's got severe PTSD and a hatred for, her like, underworld crime. But in the movies, all the characters...
00:18:33
Speaker
That sounds very nuanced. like It is sounds just like a very nuanced kind of thing. It is. It really
Depth of Original Zatoichi Films
00:18:39
Speaker
is. Yeah, the movies are actually... And it helps that 26 movies is the same actor in all 26 of the movies.
00:18:45
Speaker
And there's only six or six... He directs some of them too, He directs some them too. And there's only six or seven directors that rotate in and out. So you have a pretty cohesive like vision. You've got a crew, yeah.
00:18:55
Speaker
Yeah, they turn out a couple of these a year. Nice. So the in the quality... The production quality varies drastically from movie to movie.
00:19:07
Speaker
But yeah, that's what he is. He's a lovable, like really very intelligent, like he like like mind games level intelligent. Like a lot of the best scenes in the original movies are all these mind games because he's a gambler and he loves gambling. And each movie they have to come up with a creative way of being of whatever that dice game is of seeking it out, of like finding the catch to it.
00:19:25
Speaker
Yeah, it was it was very weird because that kind of had gave me like James Bond vibes, like how James Bond's always got to find like a Baccarat game in the books or in the new movies, a ah Texas Hold'em game for some reason. like And he does that and that's that's the Zadouichi. I would compare Zadouichi to James Bond without all the gadgets and stuff, but he's very much, yeah.
00:19:47
Speaker
And I love it because he always somehow, like the women always love him, but he can never be with a woman because he's a fugitive. So he's always got to run because violence follows him around everywhere he goes.
00:19:58
Speaker
and And that even, that I mean, zata we which came first, Zatoichi Young Wolf and Cub? Because that's kind of a similar. like So fun fact, those actors are brothers and they appear. That's funny.
00:20:09
Speaker
Yes. And they, told yeah the Shogun Assassin, Lone Wolf and Cub guy, he actually plays his brother in this, in the Zatoichi series. Oh, okay. That's really funny.
00:20:21
Speaker
And does his brother have a kid? Because that would be even even funnier. No, he doesn't. But Zaduichi number... 8.
00:20:33
Speaker
Which I just ranked as my favorite one. He does have a kid. Zaduichi has a kid and he has to get that kid to his father. And there's this thing that follows him around and that's my favorite one. It's so effing. It's so damn good.
00:20:44
Speaker
It's so damn good. That's number 8. I know that the character is probably in the public domain, but like if Lone Wolf and Cub is too... At this point, at least in the United States, I'm sure.
00:20:58
Speaker
Yeah. Hopefully they won't make a ah cheap, shitty horror parody of it. ah Yeah, think i mean but fingers crossed no one listens to this and realizes that Oichi is in the public domain. Does that bother... that i think so. I'm saying it has to be.
00:21:17
Speaker
um When I ask Google, here, let me ask without the AI results.
Is Zatoichi Public Domain?
00:21:23
Speaker
Yes, please. i if I think it's anything published before 1929, so it depends on when the original novels were posted. 1948. It was not an original novel.
00:21:38
Speaker
It's a short story. The Zaduichi starts at these movies. so Okay, yeah, i was going say. i There's a short story that's lifted from that came out in 1948, but there's no books or comics or anything that predate this.
00:21:49
Speaker
This is actually a fairly original. yeah and It sounds kind of like how, how yeah, well, how Dog Day Afternoon is like, it was a newspaper article that was two paragraphs, and they made a two-hour movie of it. And so, like like, a short story that they've just expanded on so much that it it just has taken on a completely different life.
00:22:10
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. yeah So yeah, maybe it is, maybe, I don't know. If it is, I want to see more stories with Zatoichi. Otherwise, just keep using the trope and renaming it.
00:22:21
Speaker
like Another future episode of this podcast, Blind Fury, is another Zatoichi movie. With Rutger Hauer. I love that guy. yeah We should put it on the list, Sammy. You're coming back for it We're all going experience it for the first time. I love Rutger Hauer too.
00:22:37
Speaker
Do it me too. The greatest speech in cinematic history. Tears have rained. Time to die. Like, what's even comparable to that? The speech from Independence Day?
00:22:48
Speaker
No. um We will not go quietly into the night, Sammy. We will not go on without a fight. Look, I still can't get through that. going survive.
00:23:00
Speaker
and Today, we celebrate our Independence Day. at least we're here. i can't do it. Like, I know it's corny, but every to Bill Pullman just really fucking sells that, dude.
00:23:12
Speaker
He sells it so hard. like just like I almost kind of tear up a little bit. like No, he does. so it's Maybe her baby it is fate. and Fourth of July, you guys. Maybe it is fate. I'm
00:23:28
Speaker
getting misty. We gotta move on. we got yeah okay so Okay, so the general consensus, which is what my consensus, or my opinion of the movie too, was this movie doesn't have any kind of characteristics of Zadouichi except that he's blind and has a sword.
00:23:42
Speaker
Yeah. i mean catch you i At no point am I even really zeroed in on what he's doing in town. Thank you. Other than like gambling.
00:23:52
Speaker
Yeah. Right, that's the thing. Why is this old man here? i think they i think what they were going for, what it seems like, is like, ah this is a remake, but you're familiar with how this goes.
00:24:04
Speaker
So we're just going to drop him somewhere. Right. and like for people who aren't familiar with how that fucking goes, like you're just like, okay.
Zatoichi 2003: Violent Beginnings
00:24:12
Speaker
and that's why or Nobody knows this guy seems like he just got here? don't know.
00:24:17
Speaker
time frame here. Give me some context. A little bit exposition wouldn't hurt you, would it? Right. And that's my why I pissed off about it. Because, yeah, they didn't set the character up at all. Also, in 11 movies, no movie has ever opened with him killing people with a sword.
00:24:33
Speaker
they They portray his sword skills in the most imaginable possible ways. they Like that save the cat moment. They go about it to show off positive features of him without having to kill people.
00:24:45
Speaker
So you're saying this is someone who waits until the absolute last... moment to use violence. Yes. Like David Carradine. I liked that. In Kung Fu. Yeah, dude. Kung Fu like a motherfucker. i'm Dude, I'm already into all these other Zatoichi's.
00:25:00
Speaker
This one can suck a fuck, though. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. i In the computer... may Well, the difference is that the original actor had sword skills, and I'm guessing that...
00:25:11
Speaker
Takashi Katano does not have sword skills because they're animated. From what I've read, right, everything is animated and very poorly animated. i will We'll get back to the computer shit here in a second. i do what We will circle back and be very angry about this momentarily.
00:25:29
Speaker
I prefer the CGI and Deep Rising to this, and I like Deep Rising. Future episode of this podcast, Deep Rising. I love that movie. Good. You're going a fun time when we cover it. I can't wait. Let's do it. feel like talking talking about better movies when we're talking about this movie that you hate is really probably going to be the best way to get you through this movie. No, I want to focus on the other Zatoichi's because like the whole time I was watching this shit sandwich, I was like, I'll bet the thing this is based on is fucking cool, though.
00:26:00
Speaker
It is. like The whole time I was like, this sucks, but I could see like where they took things from something that was very rad. Yes. And just sucked them up real bad. There's so many Zadouichi moments in this movie that are just so underplayed.
00:26:15
Speaker
The gambling scenes out of Zadouichi are always the best scenes in the movies. ah yeah yeah I don't feel like they were the best scenes in this movie. No, they were very boring. in mid and then yeah i miss something did He slaughtered an entire gambling house at some point.
00:26:31
Speaker
What led to that? Yes. What led to that? I missed that. They switched the dice out. They switched the dice out. and Oh, yeah. They tried to fool him. And also the gals were there.
00:26:42
Speaker
Were the geisha guys gals there? Yeah, the geisha girls were there. They were helping him out. They were part of that. I don't know why. I don't know why. no they were with the boss. No, they came later. They came later. They came after.
00:26:55
Speaker
I really wish that that this movie had been better written because I inherently like their story. yeah Except I don't need to see a child almost getting sexually abused. That's that a little too much for me. They could have just implied that. yeah i mean They could have implied that. I did not need to see that. Early 2000s gritty shit, like shock value for shock value's sake kind bullshit. No, dude. So I think this is...
00:27:21
Speaker
involve kids that's when i'd start to be like so this is where you're off base here steven so here we need to get into something the director okay very very famous takashi katano so when i sat down and watches i thought i was watching takashi miyake's i thought takashi miyake made this and i thought it's different guy yeah different guy but it's kyer doo i love there are a few different consonants there yeah I love Takashi Katano so much.
00:27:46
Speaker
Like he's honestly one of my favorite Japanese filmmakers, so that guy. And like, if if anyone could have done this character justice, it was going to be Takashi Katano because he makes heart attacks, dead serious Yakuza films.
00:27:58
Speaker
They have like the Studio Ghibli film ah feel where they kind of meander on the mundane and the quirky. But he used to be a comedian. So he was going to be the best. I was say. And the thing is, Zadweeji is funny.
00:28:12
Speaker
Zadweeji makes jokes and he's very sarcastic. Okay. So I thought, oh my gosh, this is going to be the best thing ever. And then I found out that apparently he didn't want to do this. He got peer pressured into doing it.
00:28:25
Speaker
So he, so I feel like this whole movie is a middle finger to the franchise. maybe Maybe so. Because it it felt like it was funny in like really dark, weird, and inappropriate ways that I didn't care for. It didn't work. There was comedy there. It didn't work.
00:28:42
Speaker
Like the dancing stuff, like I know that was meant to be a little silly, but it was so out of place. And something I appreciated early on, something that alluded to that, the the dancing and the music at the end, um was when the four...
00:28:57
Speaker
workers were in the field and they were using their hose and it was going to the beat of the music. I was like, oh, that's kind of cool. Because it was subtle. yeah It was subtle. It was like a background thing that like, you're watching this one thing and you're like, oh, that kind of goes to the beat, but you're watching this other thing happen.
00:29:12
Speaker
Yeah, and that's the thing. But then, I mean, five minutes later, I was like, no, this fucking sucks. Yeah, and I hate it because like in the movies, the original movies, that com that kind of comedy that you saw in there, that would have worked. I could see the original Zatoichi doing those jokes and it would have worked in those movies.
00:29:26
Speaker
But it didn't set up. Yeah, it came out of nowhere. But it was like sarcastic. And people apparently like that. That's a lot of commentary that for the people that like it. like Yeah, it's like a weird sarcastic, like visually, viscerally dark and then light, like drastic. It's so random. The stuff with like the the ah the guy joining him in the gambling hall that just becomes like his sidekick for some reason in the movie. That's his Adoichi thing.
00:29:53
Speaker
And it happens to be the nephew of the gal he's staying with. And now, do you think that he went to the gambling to get close to that nephew? No, because he was going before she told him about him, though. I was going say, like, maybe he went to kind of try to help him out, but he was going to kind exposition would have been nice, but... Some kind of exposition would have been nice.
00:30:16
Speaker
There are scenes in this movie that the where the editing was so jarring, i feel like it was dropped in the middle of a scene without any kind of establishing information. yeah You're like two minutes into it. Like they cut the first like two minutes of the scene and they drop you in the middle of it is what it feels like. One of the first times the girls are doing their their trade-off thing where they like kill people.
00:30:36
Speaker
And I feel like one of them is taking another around the side and I'm just like, wait a second. What's what's happening here? Like why are we – Like, we why are we just dropping? that We're doing something completely different in the previous scene.
00:30:48
Speaker
And it feels like I'm dropping in here in the middle of a line and watching you guys go off. like it was just really And again, I was high. So it could have been that. Or it could have been that this movie was badly edited. It was a very confusing and badly edited and meandering movie, which sucks. So it's like so Takashi Kasano...
00:31:07
Speaker
ah what is the son sonateen is the movie that blew me away that he made and what it is and I thought I was sitting down for a dark gritty Yakuza movie like underworld shit what do you get is a bunch of Yakuza guys who are ah go into hiding on a beach and just are depressed and have an existential crisis and it meanders it meanders depressed gangsters on a beach I love it yeah and it's great and it works so well for that and it kind of meanders and it's got these quirky humane moments that are kind of rhythmic and
00:31:38
Speaker
And there's a lot of that in this movie. And this does not work for this movie. Even though the Zadweezy movies have canned meander. But that's... It's fine to meander if the character you're watching is interesting.
00:31:52
Speaker
And Zadouichi, the character, was not interesting. And I love the characters, all of the B characters. I didn't like how uninteresting the actors were in their actual portrayals.
00:32:03
Speaker
That was also a little dull. Like, every one of those characters is gold. Like, the the nephew, the hanger-on, he gets hanger-ons. You know, he's really good at money, so you get the little skeevy guys who, like...
00:32:14
Speaker
going to hang out with the guy with the money. So you get the hanger on, right ah hanging out with the old lady, stay on her farm, help her move stuff and work. ah The mentally handicapped guy I thought was going to pay off. So what I call those, if you remember... Is there a way that can pay off? Well, that's the funny thing is one of my reviews out of each of the movies, there's a lot I call them check-offs than literally any other household item that's not a gun.
00:32:39
Speaker
Because it's something that's so weird and unique as a setup and then it just never pays off. It's just there. like i don't Like, yeah. like you Well, and that that that kind of... the The fact that nothing came of that I think was even more... Even more damning, honestly. i hesitate to say offensive because the whole point of that character was to laugh at that character.
00:33:05
Speaker
At that character. Not with that character. at that developmentally disabled person. that's actually where you're wrong that's fucked up no that's where you're wrong that's where you're wrong that's where both the zadoichi movies and takashi katana would not do something like that in their movies so the what he's trying to do is the the movies portray honestly very dark and gritty reality the world that they live in is not a pleasant
Middle Finger to the Franchise?
00:33:28
Speaker
world it is a horrible horrible world and zadoichi in his comedy is the only actual piece of light in that and his ability to just kill everyone all the bad guys.
00:33:36
Speaker
the like the like There are characters in some of these in some of the older movies that will have a happy ending, and then two movies later, so they just are in a bad... They kill off for some reason. like They have bad ending. I'm into that, sure.
00:33:49
Speaker
ah So... He wasn't really paying that guy up for laughs because Katano, his stuff, I mean, I think his humor, where he would do stuff like that, but they were trying to, think, more portray how oppressed they were, like how defunct everyone was in is in that in that village.
00:34:08
Speaker
I see. Damn it, Sammy, I can't believe you've done this. I was highly offended. Yeah. Highly offended. have the I have the text thread to prove it.
00:34:19
Speaker
Oh, boy. boy I was mad. I almost texted you, Sam, to let you know how hot Tucker was coming in, and I was like, no. I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what. yeah I'll tell you what. And I understand you're coming from, Justin. If it turns out I'm wrong about this, I will buy a ticket to Javan and go punch him in the face, because I kind of want to punch him in the face for this movie anyways. The director.
00:34:37
Speaker
will punch him in the face. No, no, no. No, no, no. I feel... No, no, no. Hear him out. Hear him out. I just want to know. I know I defended him, and I am defending him, but this movie puts me in a weird way. if you I could turn the coin on him so fast, and I will. so If I'm wrong with you, I find him.
00:34:55
Speaker
I 100% see what you're saying, though, and it kind of puts it in a different context yeah that I did not consider before. and probably Probably because I am so close to the issue, I was a little quick to get...
00:35:07
Speaker
offended understandable yeah but and but no that's the thing is i and it's like i say compared to the original movies i genuinely enjoyed all of the side characters in this i just don't think the editing was very good and the actors weren't really good it didn't him justice yeah yeah because i also had a very old transfer too like my transfer was not good so it made you rent it from i rented it from youtube Yeah, me too. Mine was fine.
00:35:33
Speaker
Was it? Oh, damn. Did you buy standard def? Did you get the cheaper one, Stephen? I might have accidentally done that. goofy bastard. Well, you know. so mistakes Mistakes have been made. They do be like that sometimes.
00:35:47
Speaker
And the Zencaster bill just came due yesterday, so it was kind of one of those, the cheaper option, the strain on my wallet, the cheaper option won out, I'm afraid. I saw that. I saw that. I had to i had to really quickly, like...
00:36:01
Speaker
shuffle some stuff around for that because I was not expecting that. But it's April. April, the cruelest month. Not only do we have to watch all these shitty movies, but the Zencaster bill is due.
00:36:13
Speaker
And I still got to do my taxes. So yeah. Boy, that was like four days ago you're supposed to have that done. No, it's the 15th. fifteenth He's got a couple days. He's got a couple weeks.
00:36:25
Speaker
LOL, can I tell you guys something? And I hope that she's gone to bed so she doesn't hear this. But my roommate texted me on April 1st and she was like, no, she called me. And she was like, yo, did you hear Trump is renaming Lake Gwinnipesaukee? Because we live in New Hampshire, obviously.
00:36:41
Speaker
And and i was like, dude, look at the date. Look at the date on the story. Look. Look right there at the date on the story. She was like, oh, fuck. And I was like, yeah, don't look at any news today. It's April 1st.
00:36:52
Speaker
Just turn your phone completely off until April 2nd. you You texted something to the group thread on April 1st, and I was like, that's really cool yeah if it's true. And then it was like, okay, there's been articles before this on this topic, so I think we're okay.
00:37:07
Speaker
Like, i went I googled that shit for you, man. And I appreciated it. Respect the day, but also hate the day. April 1st. Look, Pranks are lies, and lies aren't funny, you guys. don't know what to tell you.
00:37:20
Speaker
Pranks aren't Integrity's rad as shit, and like lies are not funny, dude. Yeah. I'm with you on that. You know who else is with you on that? Zatoichi. Zatoichi? Is it motherfucking Zatoichi?
00:37:32
Speaker
The real one, not whatever this movie is doing? Honestly, I say that, but his is nothing but lies and pranks. That's all he does. He lies the way to get food with other people, but... you know, desperate times and all that.
00:37:44
Speaker
Correct. Correct. Life's lot harder. But yeah, right. I did. One thing I did like about this movie ah is the, the, the cane sword was fucking rad as hell.
00:37:56
Speaker
Yeah. The cane sword is the coolest thing ever. I also love the fight scene with the bodyguard at the end where the bodyguard's like got it all figured out and knows exactly how it's going to go. And then all he does is just rotate his staff like 10 degrees at all and he wins. Like it's amazing. Yeah. The fuck with the bodyguard.
00:38:16
Speaker
Was he supposed to be a sympathetic character? I think he was. Yeah. Only because he was so stupid. Like, look, this is an able-bodied man. Yes.
00:38:26
Speaker
His specialty is, you know, the violence and all that shit. But this is a dude. This is a dude that is physically, he's athletic because obviously because does the sword shit. Yeah.
00:38:38
Speaker
He could get a number of jobs. They may not be as lucrative as bodyguard.
00:38:45
Speaker
But your wife would probably hate you less. Well, you gotta understand that Bushido is really stupid anyways. The Samurai Code, they're idiots. is They're really stupid. Hey, said it.
00:38:59
Speaker
No, I will say it. Bushido is... No, that's why they fail. like that's actually like I'm a Five Rings guy myself. The Two Swords. oh go fuck Fuck honor.
00:39:09
Speaker
ah But it is. It's stupid. that The Code of Honor... Smiling politely. Yeah. And the samurai weren't good people. So he was being an idiot because he was so, but because he did mention, he said he, it's for his honor.
00:39:22
Speaker
He's got to restore his honor. ah So I couldn't tell when this one was taking place. think traditionally in the movies, they take place in like 1840s, 50s. So think the samurai are outlawed at that point.
00:39:34
Speaker
So you get a lot of Ronin like that. So I don't know if that was... If he had done something that to cause him to be a Ronin, or if that was just because... Ronin the Robert De Niro movie, or... Yeah. No, like the Keanu Reeves movie.
00:39:47
Speaker
Oh, okay. There were 47 of them, I think, in that one.
00:39:53
Speaker
Yeah, the Ronin. They're running they're there's their're masterless samurai. They don't have no job. Yeah. So I couldn't tell if he was dishonorably discharged, or if that was just because it was illegal. Like Hawkeye!
00:40:07
Speaker
You guys. From the comic book movies. Yeah, come man. That was Jeremy Renner ain't got shit on me. look at that.
00:40:18
Speaker
like I got one of my Marvel props here. yeah oh I like that. That's nice. and It's from mixedte it's the the orb from Guardians. Everybody loves that. so do you yeah Okay, but going back to that Ronan, was he on revenge for something?
00:40:34
Speaker
Was he seeking revenge? i you I think he was trying to pay for his wife's medical. Yeah, that was his only motive. There was a brief line early about how she was sick and he was stupid.
00:40:45
Speaker
um was early in the movie. That's the depth of those two characters. She is sick and he is stupid. Correct. that's the That's all we know about those characters.
00:40:59
Speaker
So, maybe... But there was like a thing where he went, the guy was beat. Was there like a flashback where a guy was beating him up with a stick? I think. Yeah. That was like the guy that was training him. Right.
00:41:13
Speaker
But then that guy is there at some point. I was going to say, doesn't that guy come back? Yeah. I don't know, man. I was confused. And he kills him like nothing. Yeah. I, I, Again, this movie is very hard to follow and I could never tell if it was a flashback or ah a current timeline situation.
00:41:32
Speaker
i couldn't tell how like the this the the gambling scenes, they kept would cutting, they would keep cutting back to those. And I was like, is this the same gambling scene? Have all these cutaways been like to things in the past or is this a different gambling scene? And some of this stuff has been happening in the present.
00:41:50
Speaker
I literally can't tell, but also I'm pretty high right now. yeah i can't tell either and I was i was at work because I was not high I would hope not and I don't do that shit till the kids go to bed so uh and I watched it before the kids went to bed so I was sober I got no kids sober sister yeah Yeah. I'll give you ah couple if you want. see if You want a couple kids?
00:42:15
Speaker
I do not. Thank you for the offer, though. I appreciate offer. got couple available. i am i'm You know what? I i have two cats. That's all I can take right now. Fair. Fair. That is fair. That's a lot of cats.
00:42:29
Speaker
Yeah, it maybe That's more than one cat. There's so many more than one cat. It would necessitate a cat rack. and I have office now where I can close the door so the cats don't dive bomb the screen like they did on the very first episode of the upcoming Wells U podcast.
00:42:46
Speaker
I can't wait to hear that. And I have access to it. I was going to say you have that audio. so by all i could listen I could listen to it before anybody else in the world. But you haven't. Maybe I will.
00:42:58
Speaker
would um yeah Like was saying, after the kids go to bed, your boy gets crazy. So like i ah i might that might be ah thing that gets in my head one night. I'll be like, you know what?
00:43:09
Speaker
I'm just fucked up enough to listen to all these episodes of Steven's other podcast. Just to do it before anybody else. Just do it before any of the other 25 listeners that we'll have at launch.
00:43:24
Speaker
It'll grow. Dozens. It'll ebb and flow. We'll be up to 60 some months and then down to 30 or like what happened. You don't know. You try to be funnier. Give some more structure. It doesn't work.
00:43:37
Speaker
Who knows? yeah add another co-host that never works it never works it does for a while but after it gets old thank you savvy thank you fun fact about the cane sword that in history that cane sword is actually very weak compared to a katana so you wouldn't actually use it to fight against people katana which is made of like aluminum right yeah It's like aluminum? Aluminium, as they say?
00:44:04
Speaker
it's not It's steel, but it's not their... Japanese don't make good steel, so they have to do a folded steel style, which is why the katanas are so... good because it's technically low quality steel that they perfected to be effective.
00:44:16
Speaker
so It's just very like like ridiculously sharpened, right? They made lemonade. Yeah, got it. Yeah, yeah exactly. But those the blade that he uses, the little tiny sword, can ah cane sword, is not ah folded steel. It's not folded steel. So it's not it's a low quality steel.
00:44:32
Speaker
And in the fourth movie, it actually breaks during one of the fights. he hits it Someone hits and it just snaps and goes flying off.
00:44:40
Speaker
And he still manages to feed all their asses. Yeah, yeah. Oh, man, guys. The old movies are so good. You should watch them. You guys, am I going to watch all those movies in like the span of a month? Is that about to happen?
00:44:54
Speaker
You straight up might. It's like a TV series. I'll give it three. After the third one, if I'm not on board, I'll quit. but yeah No, no, no, no. Here's the deal. If you're going to watch the first one, you have to watch watch the first four.
00:45:09
Speaker
Because there's an overarching theme to them. Oh, it's like a quadrilogy, as they say in the business. It's like a trilogy. A narrative arc. with Yeah, with a fourth movie. yeah With an epilogue. Kind of an epilogue, maybe? With a thematic finale. ah Yeah, an epilogue. yeah Fantastic. Love that. The fifth movie is mid. It's fine.
00:45:28
Speaker
But the sixth movie is like one of the fucking coolest samurai movies I've ever seen in my life. It's like the Fast and Furious franchise. If you can get to number five, it's smooth sailing the rest of the way. You have to get past the movie. But here's the thing. You don't have to actually... That's the thing. If you start with the first one, you have to do the first four.
00:45:45
Speaker
Other than that, you don't actually have to start with the first movies. You could pick these up and you where you want. Well, yeah. And see, that's that's why like ah The Fugitive was so cool. Because even before I started watching it, like it's just on TV. like Back in the day, you couldn't just dial up TV.
00:46:03
Speaker
You know, you had to be there at a time and a place. So they had to make these shows. dance where yeah streaming Yes, there was an overarching story, but every episode has to work on its own.
00:46:14
Speaker
right Like every episode has to potentially be someone's first episode. So if that's how those films are, yeah, like jumping in and out of it. and and like not really Yeah, you understand the fact that he's a blind masseur who does sword stuff, and then he's always on the run.
00:46:30
Speaker
That's all you gotta to know. Does masseur have two meanings in Japan like it does in America? Is he giving happy endings? Because there's the scene after they cut, like after she's like, don't get any ideas. I'm not giving any. And he laughs.
00:46:44
Speaker
We cut to this overhead shot and it's going down and he's like, it looks like he's thrusting. And they said something like, is it too hard? And she's like, no, it's fine. No, he's giving her massage. Well, then you zoom in and right. then you zoom in and he's like actually giving her a massage. But the implication leading up to that is that he's boning her.
00:47:01
Speaker
Like there's an earnestness to that scene, but I feel like they're kind of like, just kind of dangling a little bit in front of your face. they like, Oh no, no, no. It's almost like they purposefully. You're the one with the dirty mind perverse.
00:47:13
Speaker
Yes. And as much as i applaud that, I'm also offended. Well, I mean, that's not that that's a comedy thing. like of Like, that was a pretty stock standard comedy thing in the 80s. Yes.
00:47:26
Speaker
And yo, like, that can be a funny joke, but the comedy that's in this movie, it's not, it's never consistent with the tone of the rest of the film. Right. There's some silly, silly fucking bits in this movie, but they just appear out of thin air.
00:47:44
Speaker
Right. And don't fit the tone of the rest of the film at all. It works in the originals because it keeps it grounded in humanity. And the movies are, that's the the highlight of them is they are very humane movies.
00:47:56
Speaker
They're really about the plight of the downtrodden people. And they try to flood it with characters that you are like, every like, site yuck you don't want to see the villagers get killed. You like the villagers. You love the villagers.
Editing and Character Development Critique
00:48:08
Speaker
And they even give a lot of the Yakuza guys and the Ronin and all the bandits like fleshed out backstories and like emotional attachments and stuff.
00:48:15
Speaker
Nine times out ten though. Not this one. Yeah. Yeah. yeah yeah
00:48:21
Speaker
the the The twist at the end, I i saw coming a mile off. No, but yeah the the real, no well, that, but also the, i I'm the real mob boss the whole time.
00:48:34
Speaker
It's been me, the senile old man the whole time. like saw that one coming in my okay so like i didn't care enough to see that coming like it happened i didn't feel like it was earned that's the thing it's like when it happened i didn't give a fuck because i didn't feel like it was earned the only thing that that made me realize it is the only time you see that guy is there's a shot from the back and his hair is very gray and i'm like there's only one character in this movie with hair that's very gray so it's got to be grams and sure enough yeah Well, no, it completely makes sense, but also who fucking cares at that point?
00:49:08
Speaker
Who fucking cares? it's It's like a return of the king all over again. You got 12 different endings. Once this movie starts ending, it can't stop ending. And then we got a big Bollywood dance number.
00:49:20
Speaker
um if i logged I loved the Bollywood dance number. That's my favorite part of the movie. i was watch I did too, but it makes the movie worse because again, out of place. I loved, I had a fun time watching that, but it was just like, why am I watching this in this movie?
00:49:38
Speaker
Why? yeah Again, it was fantastic though. I didn't really like it. yeah Again, that would have worked better in one of the old movies. In those wooden shoes and everything? Like, respect.
00:49:49
Speaker
Yeah, it was... That was dope. I really liked that. People criticized him for having modern soundtrack. I actually really liked the soundtrack and sound design of this movie. I would say it's something... i did not like the score. You did not? Okay.
00:50:01
Speaker
I did not like the score, and I also did not like the sound design. Everything was... Well, outside of the fight sequences, that was really bad. Okay. Yeah. Alright. That would be fair. But I was going to say the fight sequences, like...
00:50:13
Speaker
i Like, who was doing the Foley on this? Like, have they ever heard anything? Ever? Probably the same people doing the blood spatter. Like, at no point does anything. There was a scene where a sword was thrown into someone's back and the person falls over. And it is obvious that that sword is painted in. Like, who framed Roger Rabbit?
00:50:35
Speaker
there's several instances of that there's one where the ronin stabs a guy and the blade isn't actually attached to the hill it like moves away from the hill and back to the hill so the blood splatter apparently the director requested that specifically to be like an artistic contrast to the darkness that's what he said after people fucking hated it yeah
00:50:59
Speaker
he's like no man no no no i did it cause like yeah like that was on purpose It was like Paul Verhoeven levels of unrealistic blood spatter, but at least Paul Verhoeven has the good sense to use an honest-to-God physical squib in a guy's
CGI and Blood Effects in Zatoichi
00:51:14
Speaker
chest.
00:51:14
Speaker
Yes.
00:51:17
Speaker
This one's hard to watch at work, because all the violence is lot more violent. No, it's just hard to watch in general. Well, you know, the first 11 aren't really that bloody.
00:51:28
Speaker
they' not They don't have a whole lot of blood spray or anything like that, so I turned that on and all sudden bloods. Yeah. Like, look, I don't, I badly animated. And yes, yeah like that extreme kind of gore like that is an added bonus to pretty much any movie. Like if your movie is good enough, you don't really need that, but it's not like Dawn of the dead, the original 1978 Dawn of the dead.
00:51:51
Speaker
It doesn't need all that ultra violence, but boy, it's like, it's like the dessert after a good meal. You know? you know And you kind of have to earn that. yeah I feel like for this level of not only, but it sucks though. So my point is completely not valid.
00:52:12
Speaker
Nevermind. in vallet Dessert.
00:52:16
Speaker
and Yeah, in this movie, it's just, it's poorly done. it it really is just very badly done. It's like if you're looking forward to dessert and then you realize it's Rachel from Friends and she made that awful trifle she made for that one Thanksgiving episode.
00:52:31
Speaker
With the lady fingers and the jam and the cream. I will take your word for that, Stephen. And then beef sautéed with peas and onions. Stephen, did you learn the the theme to 227? Not yet, no.
00:52:42
Speaker
won't.
00:52:45
Speaker
Well, I mean when you mean, not yet. Like, there's no reason to after this episode. It's episode 227. Oh, okay. Yeah, sorry. I'll learn it. I'm familiar with the show. I just don't know the theme song.
00:52:58
Speaker
It's so good. You stumped the chump. Congratulations. I did. I did the thing. i wasn't even trying to. just wanted hear you sing it, Stephen. It just came out of my need to hear you sing the 227 song. I wasn't trying to fuck with you or anything. I didn't say you didn't say you were.
00:53:15
Speaker
No, it just it ah it have I'm not infallible. there There are obviously gaps in my knowledge, so that we found one. Congratulations. Look, i'm I'm not someone who revels in ah in outsmarting a friend.
00:53:33
Speaker
Are you sure about that? No, i'm I'm telling you right now that I'm not. so Well, you've done it just the same, so congratulations. That's why I said it, because I didn't mean to, and I apologize.
00:53:44
Speaker
No, it's all good, man. It's all good, man. That's a show I've been watching a lot of this week. i wear Better Call Saul's. Better Call Saul. Oh, yeah. i like I'm having good time. and A lot of people have said that. My partner thinks that is an insane opinion, but you know. Well, they're not really comparable.
00:54:00
Speaker
They're not really comparable, but I just enjoy it a matter of preference. Yeah, I just prefer for it more. It's my favorite lawyer show. Like, it's so realistic. Like, that's what want to see. It's so much fun. And there's an entire season. That's what watch.
00:54:12
Speaker
There's entire season with Carol Burnett, and I don't laugh one time. I haven't gotten to that season yet. I mean, I saw that she's in it, but she's in it. There's something to look forward to. You guys, I watched the first three episodes of Better Call Saul, and I was bored, and I never revisited it, but now you guys are kind of making me want to go back. Carol Burnett, a whole season?
00:54:33
Speaker
and It's the last one, but yeah. Is Vicki Lawrence there too? Is it a Mama's Family crossover? Here is the thing. this get way into that Vince Gilligan knows how to use comedic actors in dramatic ah dramatic performances better than anyone else, it seems like. And who better than Carol Burnett?
00:54:52
Speaker
I mean, get I'm in. You get him using Bryan Cranston, Bob Odenkirk, Michael McKeon and Carol Burnett in serious roles. It is phenomenal.
00:55:05
Speaker
And another show that did that really well was that Glenn Close show, um Damages, because they had like John Goodman and Martin Short on that show. i like all those people. It's so good.
00:55:16
Speaker
John Goodman's amazing. Season 3 or Season 4 of Righteous Gemstones, anyone? Just me? Oh, I haven't seen it yet. Yeah, no, I'm there. um no good I don't get time to watch fun shows. The last episode might have been my favorite episode of the series so far. yeah So I'm watching Better Call Saul, and what's the other one?
00:55:36
Speaker
Damages? The Glenn Close Show Damages? With Martin Short and John Goodman? breaking bad that's fine no there's lots of ichi movies yes there you go better call saw and all the zatoichi the thing we're literally here talking about tonight yes but like the good version of it yeah so thing from what i hear that's what i heard if you're gonna watch all of them you should approach it like you're watching netflix series where the episodes are like an hour an hour and a half long because that's how it should watch it like a tv series
00:56:07
Speaker
But boy, I don't binge, though. Should should i do should I do one? Should this be like... This would take me almost a year. Like breaking up the movies? It would be the third. If I started in January and watched a movie a week, which is how I would do a series like that, i it would be like, what, September before I was done?
00:56:30
Speaker
Yeah, with the TV shows and everything, yeah. I might be able to do two a week. When you get to six, you start to find you find yourself actually looking forward to the next one. And what's keeping me going. I'm an 11.
00:56:41
Speaker
yeah they i There are varying levels of quality, but I wouldn't call any of them a bad movie. I have thoroughly enjoyed the first 11 of the original series. it would And you're you're doing the Zatoichi crossovers as well? Where it crosses over with Yojimbo and Django? Those are all Zatoichi movies. Those are all Zatoichi movies. They're not crossovers. And the TV series? Yeah.
00:57:02
Speaker
What about the TV? There was a TV series, right? There is a TV series. There's been a couple. Again, that's what I've heard. And it's the same actor and same director in the whole series as well.
00:57:13
Speaker
I found out today that only only some of the plots are lifted out in the movies. That's all original stories. So yeah, I'm going to probably watch the series if I get my hands on it. Dude, that does sound rad. Again, very Fugitive-esque.
00:57:25
Speaker
Big Fugitive fan right here. yeah Yeah, if you watch it, like yeah just like like a Netflix series where they got the long-ass episodes. Each movie is an episode. It's really good. Because they were they're making them so fast. It's like two or three a year in the beginning.
00:57:40
Speaker
Damn. and like That's impressive. But they're also yeah but there are also very low budget movies. like you watch yeah I can see how they can do two or three of these in a year. because they're very they're all The early ones are all on stage. They're very much like soap operas.
00:57:53
Speaker
And that's what it really is. it's more of a soap opera, which is why it's got that stay.
Cinematography in Original Zatoichi Series
00:58:00
Speaker
They're cool. Got good cinematography.
00:58:04
Speaker
Oh, and number seven and number seven, that movie so mid up until the end when he's in a castle and all the candles are lit and he's running around the castle, putting out all the candles or all these guys trying to chase them and he makes it dark so they can't see.
00:58:17
Speaker
nice he takes out that was That was so cool. That was so cool. I love that this episode has just basically become Sam describing scenes from better Zatoichi movies. Yes, please.
00:58:29
Speaker
Please. I'm into that. Like I said, number eight, there's this kid. like Oh, man, number eight. It's so good. it's all the ending is so like The ending's obvious, but it's so disgusting. It's so great.
00:58:40
Speaker
He's got a kid. like This lady who is a slave. Oh, is this the one you were telling us about earlier where he's got the kid and he has to fight the other dude?
00:58:51
Speaker
Yeah. like he Like he was in a cab where they carryt you know they carry him around and he saw a lady with a kid in distress so he got out and let her take the cab because she couldn't walk anymore.
00:59:02
Speaker
But then some assassins after him thought he was in that and killed her. So he felt guilty and then has to take the baby to its dad. And there's this lady thief that's like a tag along and she keeps showing up and she just she just follows him the whole time.
00:59:16
Speaker
Oh, it's so good. Oh, the ending is so good. I
00:59:23
Speaker
i don i don't want to spoil it for you because it's i mean it's really good. I liked it. And number six. What other Zatoichi movies have you enjoyed?
00:59:35
Speaker
Oh, me pull my reviews here. i mean because I mean, because, okay, so we i just I just made you skip ahead in your your list and watch this one um because, you know...
00:59:49
Speaker
Well, no, that's fine. i feel like i feel like I have enough under my belt that I could get a good... I mean, 11 movies. like that i got maybe maybe theyre I was going to say, maybe 12 through 26 are just so bad that this move that that's why Zatoichi fans are like, yes, this one.
01:00:06
Speaker
Because like you're you've watched the only good ones in the franchise and then the best are like all the best are oh behind you and now you've just got like... you know Like the Exorcist movies. like You watch the first one, you're like, great, the good one's out of the way. Now I gotta watch all the other ones.
01:00:22
Speaker
No, I don't think so. because i think i think I don't think people liked Zatoichi versus Yojimbo. But there's a couple of them later on that I've heard are a lot of people's favorites as well. Zatoichi and the One-Armed Swordsmen?
01:00:35
Speaker
ah Yes, that one, because that's a crossover with the Shaw Brothers, I guess, ah which is funny because his brother from the Shogun Assassin series played a one-armed samurai in movie number three. But his brother is actually in the movement in the franchise twice.
01:00:48
Speaker
He shows up in number six as the psychotic Ronin, and he's just freaking terrifying in it. He's great. It's probably one of the coolest fight scenes. He's on a horse. He's got a bullwhip. fighting a blind guy.
01:01:00
Speaker
You can imagine how that happened, how that goes. Nice. I mean, yeah that sounds great. That sounds wonderful. Love love all of this um So yeah, a lot of... and And yeah, so this is a franchise that crosses over with a couple. Like we've got Yojimbo and the One-Armed Swordsman, like i characters established in different films that Zatoichi just, you know, meets up with. Like just regular Batman v Superman Dawn of Justice shit, but with, you know, ah samurai movies or you know, Blind Ronin and stuff.
01:01:31
Speaker
There was another crossover. can't remember what it was. Like it was the two obvious ones. There was another one. Isn't there one that stars Toshiro Mifune? Isn't he in one of these? I think that's Mitsuyo Jumbo.
01:01:48
Speaker
Even though he's not playing the Kurosawa character, it's the whole line like ah it's a pun,
Zatoichi and Yojimbo Crossover
01:01:54
Speaker
I guess. His name's a pun in this as well. So it's like a huge riff. So it's like their way of being able to use that character without it being in that character.
01:02:02
Speaker
Okay. So it's they're legally distinct from, but really it's probably kind of this guy. Yeah, I think so. Yeah.
01:02:12
Speaker
Yeah. I like that second, like the sequel to the Nosferatu remake.
01:02:18
Speaker
Right? Nosferatu in Venice with Klaus Kinski? Yeah. Yeah. No, that's direct sequel. Because he wasn't even... Dracula was in public domain by that point.
01:02:30
Speaker
Yeah, it's a direct No, know, but like it's... From the same producers. Yeah, but... Okay, alright. ah The reason that he doesn't do the makeup is because he didn't want to. Well, obviously, yes. He was too busy sexually assaulting people on the set.
01:02:43
Speaker
Correct. didn't have time that shit. Or just regular assaulting them. Right. Because he did both. Right. yeah you don't have time for makeup man of many talents yes the only reason he wore the makeup for the herzog versions because herzog was the director i was gonna say because herzog say no more right like fucking say no more and then why do you do the second movie because you don't want to we're gonna tell him no we're gonna tell him like yeah where that you're not herzog Only Herzog can tell him to do something. yeah Exactly.
01:03:15
Speaker
and then he'll still end up assaulting Herzog over it. Well then Herzog takes her gun away and hangs it over his fireplace mantle. There you go. yeah Yeah. Wild times. Wild times.
01:03:28
Speaker
wild times Boy, the 20th century, I'll tell you what, what a wild time that was, you guys. The wild fucking West. Speaking of which, Wild West, heavily influenced by the samurai films.
01:03:40
Speaker
Is there a like blind gunslinger type of character based on Zatoichi, or am I imagining things? Yeah, there is a... ah ah There is. i just The idea of a blind gunslinger. I guess a blind swordsman is somehow less funny.
01:03:56
Speaker
i was gonna say. yeah Well, no, it makes more sense because like if you're shooting guns, like you have it's a projectile, so it's there's space between you. like I can imagine if your other senses are heightened because you're blind, how you would have an advantage if the combat was up close.
01:04:15
Speaker
Yeah. Well, the cool thing... So I would say a blind gunslinger would be a lot less grounded and practical than a blind swordsman. At the same time, a blind gunsman could hear the direction the sound just shoot the bullet towards it without having to do fancy sword work.
01:04:30
Speaker
Correct. But, on the other hand, the gun, like, those senses he's using to hear, that gun, that's those are not quiet. No. Pressure comes off those things, so it's... And they're really fast, too. Like, bullets bullets be fast, Sammy. Bullets be fast.
01:04:46
Speaker
Yeah. That's true. That is a thing I've heard Like, real, real fast. Yeah. but Apparently, there's a Spaghetti Western series called Blindman. Like, blind man, but, like, together. One word. Blindman. Damn, I don't want to be interested in that, but I think I kind of am.
01:05:00
Speaker
Damn it. It's a Spaghetti Western series, Sam, so you'll probably love it. Oh, fuck. I know Sam only likes only likes his westerns at tet with covered in marinara sauce. It's true. With the exception of Tombstone and The Quick and the Dead.
01:05:16
Speaker
And The Unforgiven, obviously. Which one was that? I also love The Quick and the Dead. Yeah, we've all seen Unforgiven.
Confusion Over Clint Eastwood Westerns
01:05:25
Speaker
Yeah, i but I get confused with the other one how that Clint Eastwood is in.
01:05:33
Speaker
Other one? Other one? All the other... Clint Eastwood Westerns. The other one... Man No Name trilogy. Got it, okay. It was just the one, right? All of his American Westons... Copy that, Sammy, copy that.
01:05:44
Speaker
No, I don't think I saw this one.
01:05:48
Speaker
I don't think I saw this one, actually. You gotta see it, dude. It's like, it's straight up a deconstruction of the genre. And it's ah pretty fucking fantastic. I think Steven could could agree Yeah. that's right ah Unforgiven is great.
Blind Man Movie Discussion
01:06:03
Speaker
I prefer gene Hackman in The Quick and the Dead, but he won his Oscar for Unforgiven,
01:06:09
Speaker
ah Hey, Tucker, look who the number two is in the cast of Blind Men. Just just look at look at the number two actor on the call sheet there. IMDB.com Blind Men, 1971, directed by Fernando Baldi.
01:06:22
Speaker
Ringo! Ringo Starr is the second name on the call sheet for nineteen seventy one Blind Men. Wait, first on the call sheet, someone named Tony Anthony. That's like being named Bob Robert or Dick Richard.
01:06:37
Speaker
Yep.
01:06:39
Speaker
Correct. You're not even a little bit wrong. Tony Anthony. He's like two-thirds of Tony, Tony, Tony.
01:06:51
Speaker
He's the more upper-crust version of Tony, Tony, Tony. Tony Anthony. ah Yeah. Oh, God. we We have fun here on the Disenfranchised Podcast.
01:07:03
Speaker
Someone on IMDb 30 years ago said that this is one of the most stylish and enjoyable spaghetti questions I've ever seen. Is this the blind man? Is this blind man?
01:07:13
Speaker
Yeah. Should I be watching this? It's on Tubi. It's on straight up Tubi. You got Tony and Tony and you got Ringo. I think you kind of have to.
01:07:24
Speaker
you guys, cancel cancel whatever is the next episode. We're all watching blind man on Tubi. See you guys next week. was going to say, we actually have a spot open in June. and we could We could squeeze blind men in we wanted to.
01:07:39
Speaker
Do it. I need to know if it was a franchise, though. that so I'm going to look that up real quick while you guys continue to not talk about the 2003 Zadoichi film. No, it goes straight to more like this on IMDb. So yeah, there's it's not a franchise. It's just the one movie.
01:07:56
Speaker
cult status over the years mainly due to the involvement of Ringo Starr a former member of the Beatles in one of the roles what he was a Beatle i something yeah all I like and remember is Tony Anthony he's he's the same guy twice oh there you go I don't know what to tell you films by Tony Anthony that's the sub on on Wikipedia yeah it looks like we could probably squeeze Blind Men in here can we do a Tony Anthony month Or no, no, no, no. no
01:08:27
Speaker
and We don't do a Tony Anthony month. We do a month where we do movies that star people who have first names for both their first name and their last name. Bruce Willis. Okay.
01:08:39
Speaker
Hey, there's one. Yeah, that's a pretty famous one. Nice. We can finally cover Hudson Hawk. Oh, yes. I love that movie. Spoilers. We Andrew Dice Clay, Adventures of Ford Fairlane. Rennie Harland's Adventures of Ford Fairlane. Dude, not like that guy, but I'd watch that movie.
01:08:56
Speaker
Right? It's on our list. It's on the list, man. Fuck it. So, I mean, yeah, we've got- First names month. First names month. First names, last names month. Yes.
01:09:08
Speaker
What a weird theme, I love it. It's it's it's ah it's the weird one of the weirder themes we've come up with yet. All of our themes of months have been fairly straightforward. Like this one on films originally released in Japan.
01:09:20
Speaker
um Yeah. And this one, I mean, again, it's it's
Failed Franchise Potential of Takeshi Kitano's Zatoichi
01:09:24
Speaker
a reboot. Like, you've got a fairly well-known comedic actor at the helm and directing as well. Like, this feels like a slam dunk for a franchise.
01:09:34
Speaker
But if if what you say about Takeshi or Takeshi Kitano not wanting to be involved in it, then it's probably a good thing. It never... Yeah, it never went further than this movie. But it is sad, because I was so excited.
01:09:47
Speaker
i was so excited. i almost wet myself. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was punched in the stomach. like, man, this movie sucks. Yeah. wonder if they thought, but I couldn't, but I couldn't, but I couldn't tell if it's because like, I was, I got maybe unconsciously. I was comparing it to the original one too much, but like I was missing like the regular. How can you not?
01:10:06
Speaker
Like if you have that context, how can you not? Well, I don't have that context. So I wasn't doing it, but well, no, because like I can read a book and go see the movie adaptation. I can separate myself from the book and enjoy the movie for the movie. Cause there's certain rules of make filmmaking.
01:10:19
Speaker
They still have to hit. And he didn't hit any of those. have to adapt. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And like, like, I mean, i just saying even as an adaptation, not good. Yeah. And even though it's just like, as a movie, like the structure was bad. There was no characterization. He didn't have a good save the cat place. I'm not trying to be so like corporate in Hollywood, but like, that's kind of the thing is he didn't have very important beats that made us a very hard, and confusing movie to follow.
01:10:44
Speaker
And you would say that it regular the in you know a normal Zatoichi movie would still be hitting those beats just the same. Yeah. Oh, I mean, yeah. even if this is Even detached from the character, this was just not a good movie by itself.
01:10:58
Speaker
If the character did not exist as a purely original character, that might have actually given a little leeway and made it a little bit okay. Because obviously we have no context with the character Zatoichi, but still, it's not a good movie.
01:11:11
Speaker
Because you guys walked away and even know who Zatoichi is. And I got that vibe too. Yeah, had no context. I got that vibe too. like The things you like to see about Zatoichi were not
Focus on Side Characters
01:11:20
Speaker
in that movie. This was not a Zatoichi movie.
01:11:23
Speaker
Right. Which um makes perfect sense to me. Like it... It's like Batman Returns, which is one of my favorite Batman movies, but it's not a Batman movie because Batman's barely in that motherfucker. It is a Penguin movie with some Catwoman in it too.
01:11:39
Speaker
Like that movie is not, ah it's not a Batman movie. As much as I love Michael Keaton as Batman, as much as I love Tim Burton going full Burton in that movie. um Nah, it's not, it's not really a Batman movie and in the way that every other one of those is fundamentally.
01:11:57
Speaker
Right.
01:11:59
Speaker
Yeah. Like, I get that. It's it's more focused on the Naruto kids ah more than anything, which I can't tell if that was respectful trans representation or not.
01:12:11
Speaker
I feel like it was because I think at the end when um when the nephew was like, hey, you know, and then you can just be a boy again. And homeboy was like, nah, good.
01:12:23
Speaker
Yeah. Until then, though, I was like, making fun of her, like, I couldn't tell. No, that, I mean, everybody, i don't know, it didn't seem like it was a negative thing. that was And I was kind of surprised by that because of how I initially perceived the, what I thought was ableist representation of of the one dude.
01:12:48
Speaker
Right. and So I was kind of surprised. i was like, yeah, that is actually kind of Yeah, I liked I really liked the characters, all the side characters. like I liked the nephew. the nephew like All those characters would fit in well in the older movies. like that That plucky, homey they're just people.
01:13:09
Speaker
Yeah. Just doing their thing. yeah and like he And he saw that and he was trying to figure out, the he asked about the makeup and then she told him it was all about the face. But then later on, putting the makeup on himself just trying to see what it was like.
01:13:22
Speaker
And he just turned, it's not his thing. And then, yeah, that final scene where says... Yeah, I was going to say, it doesn't work for him, really. It doesn't. Yeah, it was like... Yeah. It's a's that funny thing where he has to go running out of the house and and all the kids are looking at him like, is, is this what you do in your spare time? Like, is this what you need to do to fall asleep? Like, it's that kind of weird, almost gay panic kind of stuff where I'm like, if we, if we put ah even more of a button on this, it would be offensive, but we're like, right. Coming right up to the line here yeah on this. Now it's 2003 and also Japan. So I'm not, so they're not a very, right they're not a very forward thinking liberal company, a country.
01:13:59
Speaker
So I'm not saying I'm not going to go out here and shoot like, oh, yeah, he's he's really sensitive about this kind of stuff because there could be maybe he is sensitive, but at the same time still using styles that are insensitive. They just haven't learned yet.
01:14:13
Speaker
You know, right? Yeah. Like sensitive for that time. Maybe it doesn't hold up by today's standards. which is okay and that i mean that's the another thing you have to i had to realize is that this movie was made 22 years ago and so and like japan when i think of other stuff that was right i mean even american filmmaking like just less than 10 years earlier had been doing like ace ventura and shit like that so like yeah yeah again yeah there were much less um sensitive portrayals over here so right
01:14:46
Speaker
But no, I actually liked that portrayal. And I liked this character. I just feel like we didn't need to go that much in the backstory, like you said.
Complex Morality in Zatoichi Films
01:14:53
Speaker
well But again, that ended up being like the crux of the film was their story, and Zatoichi was there for some reason.
01:15:00
Speaker
Right. It was their story. Well, it was weird because all of the other subplots that were happening seemed like they had higher stakes. And it was weird that they kind of focused on that one. I realized that they that those two characters rounded out like the the main character group.
01:15:20
Speaker
But still, it just seemed like there were so many other, there were other stories that had to do with all those main characters that either didn't get a resolution or the resolution was just kind of hand waved.
01:15:32
Speaker
lot of hand waved. As much as I, as much as I did enjoy the, the Geisha storyline, like it just, nobody else got the time that they needed to like develop.
01:15:44
Speaker
Right. And like, I didn't, there wasn't any reason for him to help them. Like in the like so far in the first 11 movies, he doesn't just do stuff like that. He doesn't just go and kill. Right. don't know.
01:15:55
Speaker
He does, but normally he's more intertwined with the story. Like a lot of he is very intertwined with the story, just which, which caused him to go and do that kind of stuff. Like, right like he always follows into these weird circumstances. He's just wandering around and gets stuck in things.
01:16:11
Speaker
um it's they seem obligation and to morality he ends up murdering a lot of people but he didn't really have any reason to stay there or help them right none no narrative reason whatsoever again it doesn't there's no reason given for why he's there he's just there for some reason yeah and I think the geishas honestly are probably have proven themselves up to this point incredibly capable of dispatching people all on their own the only reason they end up needing him is because they kind of get ambushed by like 50 people And that's another problem, I think, is that they kind of make these characters out to be the characters that you should empathize with the most.
01:16:49
Speaker
Because even though they're doing bad things, it's because something bad happened to them. But it's implied, based on what they say, that they just rob and kill motherfuckers. Yes, i got that too. Even motherfuckers that have anything to do with what happened to them, they'll just find a dude and fucking kill him and rob him.
01:17:06
Speaker
They were about to do that to our homeboys. That's what was about to happen. I caught that too. They did that to someone else later in the movie. They actually did it to someone else later in the movie. They looked at someone and said, him?
01:17:17
Speaker
Him next? like They just do this. Taking lives, man. just often and that's cool who are just like you know There's a lot of the older movies where Zadwichi ends up helping like really morally nebulous people like that.
01:17:30
Speaker
Just by circumstance. And it like, he doesn't feel good about it. Like but the people he helped aren't always the total good, are always the good guys. Sometimes. And he never helps the bad guys, but they're not, they're not always, they're not always super great people.
01:17:47
Speaker
The bad guy's always going to be in government. Sometimes. I, yeah. Yeah.
01:17:57
Speaker
Like on the A-Team. no. I guess, Steven. I'll give you that one, I guess. Gangsters in the government. Go A-team. Yes, dude, I guess. But still, have to call for the A-team, though. Yeah.
01:18:12
Speaker
yeah Toichi just like, balls up on this shit like Mr. Magoo. Yeah, and they people try to hire him. I mean, people try to hire him because, you know, he's really good. so you're like, oh, you're good with the sword?
01:18:24
Speaker
Come hang out my gang. But Toichi's not about that gang lifestyle anymore. He's retired. guy He did it for like three years and was like, nah, this is awful. Not for me, dog. Yeah. yeah there But now he's so tied into it because he pissed so many people off. He just can't. He's forever on the run.
Wrapping Up Zatoichi Discussion
01:18:43
Speaker
Well, there you go. Never get out of it. and Never can, never will. How could you? Why would you? How could you? Why would you? He wants to. what what else What else we got to say? i'm I'm ready to land the plane. What else we got to say about 2003's Zatoichi? Or just how cool the original character is divorced from this movie.
01:19:03
Speaker
I knew I should have written notes because I know there are things that stood out to me that I wanted to discuss because they disgusted much. because they disgusted me so much I was going to say, you were you came in with like your knives out for this movie. oh the slow motion. so low the motion. You hated that. There was only one little tiny part where it happened.
01:19:29
Speaker
And in a better movie, it would have been forgivable, but don't do post-production slow-mo. That shit is choppy as fuck. If you're going to do slow-mo, you need to think about that shit before you shoot it and shoot it at a higher frame rate so that shit looks good.
01:19:43
Speaker
Don't ever do that. Even if it's a good movie, I'm like, this movie's so good, but why would you do that? Well, this is before 300. And to put that in your bad movie? oh This is before 300 came out Oh, there was still high frame rate slow motion before that. If you wanted something sure to look good in slow motion, motherfuckers knew how to do it.
01:20:04
Speaker
oh yeah i'll do I'll do it. I'm not right now, but this is a challenge I have accepted, Sammy. Good, because I'm curious. and This isn't me just being a dick. I'm actually like, oh, I wonder what the history of slow motion is now.
01:20:16
Speaker
All right. I will have a report on your desk and on Monday morning, Sammy. Well, whatever the next episode is. so Yes. Yes.
01:20:27
Speaker
High frame rate slow motion. I'll know what that means in the morning. Yeah, there we go. And I mean, thankfully, since this movie comes out this coming Thursday, there's actually a Monday in between. So he's got a little time. He's got over a week if he really wants to get a good report. There may be an addendum.
01:20:42
Speaker
Who knows? I'm not above it. I'm not above it. So, oh, there's Ninja. There were Ninja in this movie. Did you guys catch that? A couple. Yeah, that one scene.
01:20:52
Speaker
Well, no, apparently the entire gang was in Ninja Clan. But they were only dressed as ninjas that one time, and the rest of the time they were dopey as fuck. Like, didn't even know how to use a sword. and Yeah.
01:21:03
Speaker
How does that work? I don't know. Also, fun fact, that's not how ninjas dress. Do you know that? Well, that's how they dress in the movies, though. It is, yeah because i think that's what because that's actually traditional theater garb.
01:21:17
Speaker
and And so in the old days stories, they like you dress like that, the guys that put the mask on everything is they move the sets around. But then when Ninja became popular in the stories, they had to use like, how how are you supposed to hide and people on stage and do surprise and sneak attacks?
01:21:31
Speaker
So they dress like that because like, oh, she's a stagehand plot twist. It's the assassin important to the story. And that just kind of carried over into culture. So now our ninjas are dressed like in the black garb like that.
01:21:44
Speaker
What a fun bit of trivia. Right? I will always remember it. If if that were I could make that into a physical object, I'd put that on my whatnot shelf, Sammy. Could you put the more you know like theme music like right in here, Tucker?
01:22:00
Speaker
No, absolutely not. Wow, you know I tried. would be taken down so fast. I am used to it, honestly. I'm used to coming to the table with, hey guys, got this idea, it's gonna be great. And everyone's like, no. Everybody's like, fuck you, Steven.
01:22:16
Speaker
Fuck you, Steven! out of here, man. What do you mean you're taking a week off? Disallowed! though did care i move in No, vacationious den' denied.
01:22:28
Speaker
Oh, I'm gonna give my ranking of the Zadouichi movies I've seen so far real fast.
Ranking the Zatoichi Films
01:22:32
Speaker
Yes, a word please do. Okay, yeah so, eight which is fight Zadouichi fight six, which is Zadouichi in the chest of gold.
01:22:43
Speaker
Nine adventures of Zadouichi four, 11, one, two, three, five, seven, 10. then Zadouichi 2003, really far down there.
01:22:56
Speaker
really far down there Wow. Bottom of your list. um I can't say I'm terribly surprised, honestly. yeah I'm sure it'll stay down there. I can't imagine. Yeah. Well, I mean, who's to say? We never know. We never really know.
01:23:12
Speaker
never really know now Sam, do you own the Criterion Collection like box set of the first 25 movies? No, I had download from like 20 years ago. oh right So I found that guy on Dailymotion. That's why I watched some of them. okay I had to watch my downloads on my Plex server.
01:23:30
Speaker
There you go. Yeah, Plex servers. Remember when we all used to share Plex servers? That was a fun time. I saw Kale's Plex server, but my internet's so mad. I've been kicked off of that thing a long time ago.
01:23:42
Speaker
Yeah.
01:23:45
Speaker
that's all I had to say about this uncool movie. All right. Well, in that case, it was, uh, it's American release was, uh, July 2004. Uh, it earned, domestically here in America,
01:24:02
Speaker
Another $30 million in the worldwide box office for a total worldwide box office of $30.9 million dollars in the long run. um That's actually not bad. like i mean, it's not good, but expect this to Not if you want a sequel, no.
01:24:21
Speaker
No, I expect in the U.S. box office, I expect this to be like only in artsy-fartsy theaters and make like maybe... 500,000. Maybe. had a pretty aggressive following when it released.
01:24:38
Speaker
It did. So people already knew about it. like They were hip to it. So people went see it multiple times probably. yeah i mean, it's the early days of the internet and people like Quentin Tarantino and Harry Knowles are like driving people to shit like this.
01:24:51
Speaker
Yeah, and i'm kind of I'm kind of impressed that it It made that much. Like i said, it's not good, but like to for a U.S. release of a film like this, that's right. 30 million kind of that's mind blowing for that kind of shit.
01:25:06
Speaker
And this is actually a box office we've reviewed before because this movie releases the exact same weekend as Catwoman opens at number three. So let's go back and listen to our Catwoman episode when we covered Catwoman that one time.
01:25:19
Speaker
um Also opening this week at number one, The Bourne Supremacy, opening to $52 million dollars in its opening weekend. At number two, down from number one in its second week, a future episode of this podcast, iRobot, the Will Smith, Alan Tudyk film.
01:25:38
Speaker
so ah Three, as we said, was Catwoman. Four, Spider-Man 2. which yeah Spider-Man 2. Get me pictures of Spider-Man. um Which has been open for four weeks and is only down from number two. It's earned $328.5 million dollars up to this point.
01:25:56
Speaker
um In fifth place, A Cinderella Story. That Hilary Duff Cinderella story. Cool. In six, rounding out the top ten, we've got Anchorman, The Legend of Ron Burgundy at number six. did it again. I did it again.
01:26:10
Speaker
um at seven, we have Fahrenheit 9-11. Eighth place, we have The Notebook. In ninth place, future episode of this podcast, King Arthur. That's the one with Clive Owen and Keira Knightley.
01:26:22
Speaker
Oh, wow. Who cares? Really? Yeah. Is that a Paul W.S. Anderson joint? No, that is Antoine Fuqua, actually. Oh, wow. I was going to say close enough, but damn, that's surprising and a bit disappointing.
01:26:35
Speaker
But here's the thing. Like, Antoine Fuqua's always kind of had his foot in both worlds kind of thing with that kind of shit. I guess. so I guess. We'll watch it. We'll talk about it. We will. and then And then finally at number 10, Shrek 2.
01:26:49
Speaker
So there we go. You guys, I'm so fucking over Shrek, you guys. I'm so over it.
Shrek Memes and Nostalgia
01:26:55
Speaker
We're getting a Shrek 5 this year. Those movies, fine. Whatever. They're great. And like I love that people enjoy it from their childhoods and it's like nostalgic for them, but the memes ruined it.
01:27:06
Speaker
like It's just annoying to even think about Shrek anymore. Because there's other memes. I thought Shrek was fine and then I rewatched it during pandemic and I was like, this sucks.
01:27:17
Speaker
I will never watch it. Actively sucks. I just rewatched that with Beatrice. You were the right age for that movie when it came out though. so Yeah. Sammy. Yeah. yeah Your context up with that shit in a way that we did not.
01:27:36
Speaker
We love you. Sorry, I can't be as old as you'd, Steven. We love you, sweet baby Sammy. We love you, sweet, sweet baby Sammy. Sweet little swaddling cloned baby Sammy.
01:27:48
Speaker
Rocking him to sleep in our giant arms. Sorry, old man. All these bleeps. Getting old man's heart attack. And while we're beeping stuff, I'm just going to say one more time. Stephen, why you got to complicate shit?
01:28:01
Speaker
That one was for ****. Oh man. You guys, there's gonna be nothing except for beeps. Okay, you gotta space them out, you guys. Jeez.
01:28:14
Speaker
well I'm not a miracle worker. between the i did that monologue about... Motherfucker. I did i did the yeah the monologue about Sweet Baby Sammy. That's all stand-in, right? We're not cutting that, are we?
01:28:27
Speaker
I don't think you said f***ing during that. and I didn't, no. Did you say f***ing during that? I did not say f***ing. and I did not say... Oh, oh Stephen.
01:28:37
Speaker
Oh, Stephen, you stepped but you crossed a line there, bud. You crossed a line, Stephen. You have crossed line. No, you know I'll cross a line when I start talking about...
01:28:49
Speaker
Then I crossed Full circle.
01:28:54
Speaker
Moving on. ah The tomatometer score for this movie is an 87% certified fresh in point of fact.
Critical Reception of Zatoichi
01:29:03
Speaker
is wrong Critics consensus. People love it.
01:29:06
Speaker
Yeah. Colorful, rich with action and wonderfully choreographed Takeshi Kitano takes on the classic samurai character no it was bad with his own brand of cinematic flair. I feel like there was a fight sequence that was inexplicably good.
01:29:19
Speaker
was like a flashback to a desert. There's like that sandy rocky area. was like a flashback or something. didn't know what's happening. Where he trips over the rock because even with his eyes open, he can't see a thing. no that's at the end. Silly. Okay. Okay. My favorite okay quick, quick, hilarious thing. I love that. When a guy pulled the sword out at beginning and slice the other guy's arm.
01:29:40
Speaker
yeah that was that was that was that was nice touch and then he ran and then that was that was fun in a better movie that would have been really rad i was gonna say that was before i realized how bad this was going get right i i i had allowed myself to believe this could be fun at that point well mere seconds later you see the cgi very clearly and you're oh shit yeah this isn't gonna be a good movie yeah Exactly. You're disabused of that notion so quickly. Yeah. um The Metascore is a 75. That's based on generally favorable reviews from 33 critics.
01:30:12
Speaker
And Tucker, you want to take a stab at the, no pun intended, at the Letterboxd score for this movie. Letterboxd probably ironically and unironically likes this movie.
01:30:25
Speaker
So that I feel like that's going to pump it up. Normally, I try to play it safe and keep it within the low threes, high twos. But on this one, I'm going to say... Fuck, I don't know.
01:30:37
Speaker
Is it worth the risk? I'm going to say 3.8 and 4.2. Between 3.8 and 4.2. What is it, Steven? 3.7. Son of a bitch! So close!
01:30:49
Speaker
Damn. I was so back for so long. almost i honestly... so damn close. Bastard.
01:30:58
Speaker
So damn close on this one. um So you guys, i I love that so much. um I'm not high anymore. i just is a heads up. So um Sam, as our guest, how are you going to rank out of five stars? The 2003 Zatoichi. We know it ranks at the bottom of your Zatoichi movie list. how What do you give it as a star rating?
01:31:23
Speaker
I did give it two and a half stars. Two and a half Which sounds higher than I would But there was a lot of things I liked about it It just wasn't a good movie So it gets the two and half stars based purely off that I like the characters I like some of the slow motion I like some of the scenes There was a good fight choreograph The comedy bits were funny if they would have been in a different movie There were things I liked, but overall, it was not a good movie.
01:31:49
Speaker
it It pisses me off more than anything. No, totally fair. ah Tucker, whose name is not anything else that I'm going to say to get beeped out. How many stars are you ranking this one?
01:32:01
Speaker
ah Actually, initially it was zero stars, but building upon Sammy's review, he did remind me of some of the things that did stand out that could have been rad in a good movie.
01:32:16
Speaker
And outside of the context of that bad movie, ah there were endorphins, you know, like I was having happy times in my brain. So I'm going to say a half a star. Okay, 0.5 for you. You talked me into it, Sammy.
01:32:30
Speaker
You talked me into half of a star. Whereas i'm I'm going with two. just Just plain old two. I don't know. That sounds like a sell. I probably gave it a half star based off my biases.
01:32:41
Speaker
It probably deserves that too. i ah That gives us a 1.6 repeating, so that'll factor in. Yeah, the overall average between the three of us. That's fair. Yeah.
01:32:54
Speaker
I think we're all happy with that number. Also, also also side note, his hair was bleached. yeah and Why was he blonde? I don't know. Is that to which he blonde? No, no.
01:33:07
Speaker
I mean, I get he wouldn't be able to have a stylist, so he really wouldn't be able to comment on what the stylist is doing with his hair. Like Mary J. Blige, we know your hair is not blonde. is all they have Did they bleach hair in that time period?
01:33:20
Speaker
I don't know. They probably could have, but like I cannot confirm that personally. Back in the day when they made movies like this, Sean Burrow films, they were actually like period pieces, so there was a lot of historicity in it.
01:33:32
Speaker
And if you get the old DVDs, there'll be like fun commentaries on the history that goes into it. This one didn't give a shit about history or anything. Wait, are these how many of these are in color, the original films?
01:33:43
Speaker
Do start out in black and white, or are they all in color? No, they start out black and white. I think five and on is color. Oh, okay. Alright. I do like a good black and white aesthetic.
01:33:55
Speaker
Like, back then you had to know how to shoot on black and white, so... Oh, the cinematography is pretty good for what it is. Which are, I mean, they're low budget, but they tried to... bad They may do with what they had.
01:34:07
Speaker
Okay. Yeah. Dude, yeah. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. All right. so So Tucker now has his assignments for for future viewing.
Guest Sam's Comedy Show
01:34:18
Speaker
um And that's that's been our episode. Sam, what are you up to these days? Where can we find you, if at all, on social media? I know you've actually got a project you've been working on for several months, and I would love to hear you talk more about it.
01:34:30
Speaker
Hell yeah. Actually, I would say for my personal social media, go to my Instagram, I am your pallbearer. That is my Instagram handle. ah Because I will be posting a lot more there moving forward.
01:34:41
Speaker
If I ever get the time to make the post. it's very I have a very suffocatingly busy... I don't think I've ever seen a post from you, Sammy. And I'm totally following you. Well, the algorithm probably... Aren't I? i don't I don't post a whole lot on there. But I'm saying moving forward, you're going to see a lot more coming from me.
01:34:59
Speaker
I post very rarely on there anyways. um But yeah, i starting back in August... A co-mutual friend of Stephen and I's, Zach Zuba, and me started our comedy show down here in Indiana, in Indianapolis.
01:35:16
Speaker
It's called the Department of Humanity. Can i go to it? Yeah. It's a thing, like stage thing? Yeah. It's the wonderful bar and grill on the east side right by my old house off of Pendleton Pike and 38th. Dude! Yes, to the house. Yes.
01:35:29
Speaker
Hell yeah. That's fantastic. You guys, I'm so excited. You guys are going to keep doing this, right? Like, so when i when I move back in June, like, you'll still be doing it and I can go, right? I sure hope so. We have until we have a contract for twelve episodes which so july It is our last episode until we have renewed the contract at the venue because they have 10% equity in the show.
01:35:51
Speaker
ah But the show itself isn't just strictly a comedy show. It is a stand-up comedy show as the main like core. And we have a musical guest at the end. Musical guest at the end. A variety show. A variety show. Having a variety.
01:36:06
Speaker
Because in between the kind of the comedians on the actual show I post on YouTube, we try to get short films, trailers for movies made here in Indiana. We do interviews with artists. Little sketches and shit. Little sketches, yeah. We need more content. We need you guys from Indiana. for like kind west here Can I watch this on the internet right now? What is this, Sammy? And how did I not know about it before?
01:36:26
Speaker
It's on the YouTubes. Direct me there. Okay. It's called the Department of Menial Humor. Department of what now? The Department of Menial Humor.
01:36:39
Speaker
Menial. Okay. There it is. Okay. And check out... And you know, the but the quality the quality is varying. I'm pissed off about this little little side side note stuff here.
01:36:49
Speaker
I'm pissed off about the upcoming episode because we didn't have enough light. Someone tried to sabotage our show. Oh my gosh. How did I not know about this? I know I didn't use metering. I should have used metering. I should not have trusted the camera LCD, but I did.
01:37:04
Speaker
Well, that's a mistake you won't make again, though. Yeah, but you know who else made that mistake? Murph. So think he does this for a living. Now that's true. But we do another mutual friend of ours.
01:37:17
Speaker
We do love who you met because of a stray ass comment that you made about how the Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise is not a slasher franchise. And you went on this huge rant and Murph was like, this guy is my kind of guy.
01:37:33
Speaker
like you just went on this tirade and but Murph was like, interesting. Interesting. like And that was what I think like caught Murph's attention initially, which is hilarious to me. like Now that you know Murph, you know why that's hilarious.
01:37:47
Speaker
I would see him in the wild on the internet. At cigar forums and stuff. Like, what the fuck? This is Stephen's friend. And then we would comment on your things. Fun in fact, our lore goes deeper.
01:37:58
Speaker
I was going through my old emails. He sent me an email back when I was trying to put fun and games together. Trying to audition for one of the parts. Yeah. He auditioned. I sent him part of the script and never heard back from him again.
01:38:11
Speaker
you know, he right in. Oh, this sucks. like Goes to that guy. You guys, I love friendship lore. Friendship lore is so rad. Sam sends me a picture of himself, our friend Zach, who I know through community theater and um my, our, our friend Murph, who I met through church.
01:38:29
Speaker
So I've got Sam who I met through my ex and, And then Murph, who I met through church, and Zach, who I met through theater, all in a picture together. And I felt like George Costanza when his worlds are colliding.
01:38:42
Speaker
I'm just like, this is the weirdest shit I have ever received. And I cannot compute this right now. Because it's three friends I know from three different places who all connected because of me. yeah And there are some place where I am not.
01:38:55
Speaker
Right. and Well, i I talk about her friendship with Stephanie, too, because our connection is also really weird. Because, yeah, it was we went out. ah Stephanie was like, hey, I want to go out and do a couples day with my work friend. It's like, OK, I'm talking to Stephen. I'm like, hey, where do you work? He's like I work at Horizon Christian School.
01:39:12
Speaker
was like, yeah, I graduated from Horizon Christian School. so And you you graduated like the year the year before I got there. So we like just missed each other. Yeah. Yeah.
01:39:24
Speaker
But yes, this is a comedy variety show hoping to showcase local talent. yeah I'm so there for it. And maybe you could could perform there too, Tucker. I know you've done some stand-up in your time.
01:39:37
Speaker
No. standup i would We need no musicians. We need musicians. You're a musician, Tucker. yeah That's true. i mean did you did you I'm an entertainer, really.
01:39:51
Speaker
Did you go to our YouTube page and click on the playlist and see one that's just music? I did and I subscribed to it. Hell yeah. We're going to post it in the show notes.
01:40:02
Speaker
How many months, Sammy, and how did I not know about this? Yeah, it turns out i'm not very good at marketing, so I'm trying to get better. Yeah, but look, like, Sammy, we we are good friends that do not need to constantly be in contact.
01:40:17
Speaker
But also, like, when you start some shit like this, you gotta... Like, I'm the audience for it. Like, holler at your boy is what I'm saying.
Past Projects and Future Collaborations
01:40:28
Speaker
I'm sorry. not for my sake, but for yours, like... Yeah. Come on, man. I'm so bad right now. I've completely reevaluated our entire friendship, Sammy. Oh, no. k so oh Yo, you bastard. And and Department of Media Humor also on TikTok as well.
01:40:48
Speaker
um well you know There's there's lots of lots of different places to find. Yes, we have a website. And you can also give us money and buy shirts on our website as well. Buy shirts.
01:41:01
Speaker
Merch is tight. Merch is tight. We do we do love merch. yeah We should get some merch going, Tucker. Maybe. One day, when we're old enough. Well, you know, ah Printful, that's a website that I used.
01:41:13
Speaker
Sure is. yeah it's yeah it's you know It's a dropshipping thing. but i think god right I think Brett started a Redbubble account for one point. I it's like a Redbubble thing, like TeePublic kind of thing.
01:41:25
Speaker
Yeah. Where they're like, IP? What IP? What? What what i be What are you talking about? i don't know. don't see the IP.
01:41:36
Speaker
What? ah But you'll see more coming from me down to pipeline because I did the video contest for the... ah Internet Archive that you sent me a link to, Stephen. I did not win, obviously.
01:41:48
Speaker
i was too... Too cerebral. that's so see come down and out ah Me and have been doing Miss Rachel parodies that you'll actually see if you watch episode 7 of the show worth watching. or mr Wow, this is something I'm tuned into. I'm also... share a space with a toddler.
01:42:07
Speaker
Oh, okay. I'm familiar with this. That's fantastic. Totally made it up on Saturday. She's doing like... improv uh like it's she's miss rachel but for like teaching ah people entering the workforce how to use office supplies oh that's funny that's a fun concept i like it's actually and some of the stuff's funny uh we we could plan it out better we're gonna do some more i hope they're pretty funny and then me zach and murph and some comedians that we had never met until the night before decided to do a short film just this last saturday about it very serious it's a very serious drama thriller
01:42:41
Speaker
Nice. You guys also had an entry in the the Doritos Super Bowl. Yes, we did. I saw that. That was good. We were in there. Yep. And then in the next month or so, I believe our short film that we got started all this with, which is a horror spider film, should be released. And I think I'll have word from the final film fest if we made it in or not.
01:43:05
Speaker
But I'm going to write on publicly because we have lost every single yes film festival. Well, when when you do release it, let us know and we'll have you on to promote it. We'll schedule a Tarzan or a Conan or something during that time frame. I've got a lot I have to work on also to get stuff out too.
01:43:23
Speaker
I took on some work with a ah startup tech company here. they need someone to edit videos for them so working on that and their stuff is a lot lot to sift through so I gotta work on Stephanie has her painting classes which if you guys want to Bob Ross painting in the Indiana area look her up she's doing the Bob Ross stuff now I remember she was doing the wine and canvas stuff for a while but she's on to Bob Ross now that's all yeah she's yeah she got certified and everything no what's social yeah She does a lot of that at the Anderson Museum but ah and she does some down in green Greenfield so she doesn't have a set place where she does it so if you want it for like parties or you want to get someone into your venue bar whatever to do classes she's your gal.
01:44:04
Speaker
Teaches how to make happy little trees. Yeah. Right on. when to use that big ass brush and when not to. Exactly. like I can't figure it out. I look at it. I'm like, it's not my thing.
01:44:18
Speaker
I know. I know. I know she's always really loved that. So that's really awesome. Yeah. god Glad to know you guys are doing well. That's awesome. and But yeah, check out the Department of Media and Humor. I was ah initially a part of the core group on that a long time ago. And then my life went to hell and I moved.
01:44:35
Speaker
So yeah, I got out on that pretty quickly. well There's even lore that I didn't know about. This is fantastic. I'm getting just a huge lore dump. This is what it started 2018, I think, is when we started this.
01:44:48
Speaker
yeah there was a yeah Yeah, that was when Zach originally had the idea. There were a lot of people involved. That's pre-podcast. yeah yeah Wait, was that before your guys' podcast, though? No, we were we were podcasting at that point. oh Sam and I were.
01:45:02
Speaker
Rule of thirds. Don't check it out. You say don't check it out? yeah so their best That's some of your best words. Too late, motherfucker! Why did you say that? i mean Also, you can have I feel like Rule Thirds is such a clever title. If you want to take that, you can have that.
01:45:21
Speaker
I mean, we don't have ah three people consistently on the podcast at any given time. so Yeah, I mean, I know. I'm just saying. We and I can find time. No, you resurrect the podcast as a like quarterly Patreon podcast.
01:45:39
Speaker
Or we just take all of it and put it up behind a paywall. Like we pull it from the archive and we just put it up behind a paywall. If you want to listen to rule of thirds, you got to pay us. But then, well, you've got different creatives then. Are you going to put it under the disenfranchised umbrella? is it going to be its own separate thing?
01:45:54
Speaker
I would, it would almost have to be its own separate thing. Cause yeah, it would be me, Sam and Caleb would be figuring, figure that out. I told Caleb like, Hey, should we just give Steven all that? He's like, yeah, just turn over. I beat it him. He can do whatever he wants. Yeah.
01:46:06
Speaker
I mean, okay, in that case, that I guess I'll, we'll put it up maybe behind the disenfranchised paywall. Maybe. Who fuck knows? If we've got the blessing. I'd thoroughly join that. There's one episode of that I really wanted to do that we never did. I still really want to do it, which is the best you guys should do it best ah action movie from every Asian country.
01:46:28
Speaker
we I remember the list for that one. that was That was going to be a four movie one so we could have Tucker on for one. it was going be five, actually. Was it going to be five? I think we had Hard Boiled, Battle Royale, yeah The Good, The Bad, and The Weird.
01:46:43
Speaker
ah Yes. We had Ombach, TIE Warrior, and yeah the The Raid. Yeah, so five. Wait, that's really cool, but you guys thought of me?
01:46:55
Speaker
just saying. I'm thinking of you now. You said you were Oh, okay. All right. I'm thinking of you now. Sam was like, I wanted to do it. And was like, well, if we did it now, and you're like, well, you can do it now. And I was like, well, we do it now, I'm still flattered, but not, no, it's about 60% as flattered as was when I thought thought I'd meet. I didn't really know you when we were doing the other podcast. I didn't meet you until couple years later. but you can tell rad dude.
01:47:20
Speaker
Okay, if you say so. Just from your limited interactions with me. The only interactions that I had actually had with you up to that point were ah me speaking to you through a microphone in a film because I was the voice of the the brain in a jar.
01:47:36
Speaker
Oh, no. Well, yeah, that. But also, we did that one diner scene together, right? Yeah. That was later. That came later. but We were at the diner at the same time. I don't remember if we were in the same scene. We were at the diner.
01:47:47
Speaker
No, because we were all sitting there. it was me and you ugly and Julie. It was the one day he got everybody down there, like almost everyone that had ever been. Because yeah the three of us were there. His sister-in-law was there. Like the girl that played the in the first movie was there.
01:48:02
Speaker
Like somehow Julie was there. damn. She there. We were all there at one time. That was big comeback. I forgot about her. Look, now she worked at the clinic. And so, like, whenever myself and another unnamed person would go, like, to the doctor, she was just there. Like, she was the receptionist.
01:48:23
Speaker
It's the girl from the, you know, the first couple in this elsewhere, the goners things. Not the goners things, but the other things And I gave your, ah Sam, I gave your brother such a hard time about not getting a group photo when everyone was there.
01:48:34
Speaker
was like, you had all of us in one place and you didn't just make a photo. get a group photo. you kidding me, Steven? No, we got to give we got a group photo. It was another time that we got a group photo. When we were at the diner.
01:48:45
Speaker
Yeah, you, me, Joe, Julie, and um Lauren. Yeah. It was just the five of us. Like, Sam wasn't there that day. Mindy wasn't that day. Sammy, were not there? I feel like you were there, but like,
01:48:57
Speaker
You weren't on camera. Because I kind of remember you maybe being there. Maybe you were just helping out. You weren't on camera. Yeah, I think you're right. I think I was off camera, but I think I was still there.
01:49:11
Speaker
Because i think cause yeah also so I think Joseph did that on purpose. Because I don't normally come out to help him too much. But think he did that purpose because I think all of all us were going to be there. I'm actually remembering this now. Yeah, well everybody was there.
01:49:23
Speaker
like It was rainy or something like right? Something like that, yeah. Yes. And Mindy only stopped by for like 10, like 20 seconds and then she was like, she like dipped. He's like, I'm going to get her stuff done real quick. You guys just sit there.
01:49:36
Speaker
And then I introduced myself to her as she was leaving and I think that was like the last thing she ever did with him and then he like killed her character off. Like he killed off half the character. that year well she had like you know like she had kind of started a family so right yeah she had twins and that whole her yeah her life changed so we kind of dramatically yeah i'm sorry he kind of had to yeah i give my myself more credit than i deserve we the royal way like guess so oh But yeah, check out check out the Department of Media and Humor. Check out the old um the old was it the Endless Elsewhere stuff that we did together. I think the first one that the three of us all worked on together was, if I'm not mistaken, The Roman.
01:50:23
Speaker
I had worked with Sammy before that. Right. i'm the That was the first one I worked on, and you guys, I think, were both either in it or helping with it. We were in, like, the pre-Endless Elsewhere stuff.
01:50:34
Speaker
I've seen all that stuff. I think that's where most of our crossovers... crossed over like we did a lot of crossovers on the radio plays the three of our three characters oh yeah that's true well also i mean obviously me and justin worked on the goners in all that stuff way before correct even became a thing yo i was you before you were you like i did a clint eastwood impression
Nostalgia Over Old Music
01:50:59
Speaker
and that was the voice of your character and yeah i think that like your physicality of it
01:51:06
Speaker
I don't know if that's what you're trying to do, but it really matches. like That radio play with the the photos and everything, fantastic. i still i have I have the whole freaking photo. i have the box, sealed box. I have the photo book.
01:51:22
Speaker
I also have a c that has i have CD has the original recording on it as well. It has one of my favorite. It has my third favorite song of all time by... Tucker on it? it's That's me.
01:51:34
Speaker
That's, well. you know Actually, human you d you are my third favorite song of all time, by the way. Wow. That's wild because like my audience is so small.
01:51:45
Speaker
Yeah, Don't Fear the Reaper, Heaven Raining Bullets by Empire Hideous, and then Tucker, and then a bunch of MCC stuff after that. Yeah, DED. d that was That was a track. yeah I've always kind of wanted to redo it Because like I see what's good about it.
01:52:04
Speaker
But also, i see how much better I could make it now. I almost sent you a video the other day, by the way, of my daughter bobbing her head and smacking her knee to your music. Oh, wow. wow to Death and Taxes. That's flattering.
01:52:22
Speaker
Oh, that's a good one. Yeah, she was she like i kind of tired. I kind of rap in that one. Those were written as raps. She was leaning on the cat going...
01:52:33
Speaker
I was like, ah, but I didn't get a good enough video, so I didn't send anything to you. was Justin's got to see this. I thought it'd also be weird if I just sent you a picture of my kid. and So, out of the blue, I don't know.
01:52:44
Speaker
Nah, he'd be up there. I am straight up blushing right now. ah Like, I don't have... Like, my music... Like, I put my music out there. It's just out there for preservation purposes.
01:52:56
Speaker
Some people, like Sammy and a couple people I knew from high school, like, they're, for some reason, into it. And it's so flattering when any of those, like, four people are like, Hey, man, like, I was listening to your music the other day, and I was like, Why?
01:53:10
Speaker
Why? Yeah, I put it on. I'm like, I will see you. It's cool, but also, like, I listen to it a lot, but why? Yeah, it's not just like, oh, I don't even do it as a courtesy. I'm genuinely, so we'll sit here and be like, I'm going to listen some today.
01:53:24
Speaker
sort of Sorry, you have to bleep out half of this. No, it's fine. like no He's like, maybe I won't bleep those out after all. No, I have to. It's, I've already accepted the challenge.
01:53:37
Speaker
Sorry. This is going to be so sentimental and emotional. It's getting beeped out like a Jerry Springer show. It truly is. to this ive I have not been this flattered in a decade at least.
Philosophical Talk on Intelligence
01:53:50
Speaker
Well, I feel like we're going probably bullshit for a while longer. um You can find the Disenfranchised Podcast wherever you get your podcasts. Shoot us an email, disenfranchipod at gmail.com. Join the official content conversation, excuse me, of the Disenfranchised Podcast over at patreon.com. Hey, that's on Patreon. Disenfranchised Pod, correct. That's what I just said.
01:54:11
Speaker
um For absolutely free, you can- I was affirming like a hype man. Right. Yeah. Thank you. You are the flavor of flavor. I'm kind of trying to turn this into like a morning drive show. you know He's going have the the sound effects board with the the honks. and I mean, we've already got the sound effects we don't use anymore. because Which I wish we could. I wish we could because they're there.
01:54:33
Speaker
But I don't understand how to use them in the final mix. Like, am I supposed to edit this shit on Zencaster? I don't get it All I know, was going to say all I know is that it is.
01:54:47
Speaker
Fucking stupid. And our audience will never hear that. No, I'll paste it in. I'll paste it in, man. just Just there. Right there, I'll paste it in. I already have to listen to the whole thing.
01:54:58
Speaker
do. There's so many. and and fucking.
01:55:05
Speaker
i I have to listen to the whole thing.
01:55:12
Speaker
So what anything goes at this point.
01:55:18
Speaker
Bless you, Tucker. Fucking A. You bet.
01:55:22
Speaker
You said anything goes. It's true, I did. In open days, a glimpse of stocking was found to something shocking, but now God knows anything goes.
01:55:32
Speaker
um And for five bucks a month, you can get access to everything behind the paywall, which may be episodes of my old podcast, Rule of Thirds, now that I apparently own the IP. Maybe. no Steven's the sole stakeholder in rule of thirds. like He owns every share of that stock.
01:55:49
Speaker
Which, by the way, you don't mean shit to him because it's all his money. It was a very memorable stuff. I thoroughly enjoyed the Coen Brothers saga we did on that.
01:56:00
Speaker
We watched every fucking Coen Brothers movie. I want to hear that. We got to put it on the Patreon because I am a patron of my own podcast. And I want to hear that.
01:56:12
Speaker
yeah yeah So maybe we'll start maybe we start dropping weekly episodes of The Rule of Thirds, which was a monthly podcast. Or maybe we drop them monthly as they were initially released. asramer I was going through a bad time then, so I don't know what I said during any of those podcasts. So if you hear something from me that's offensive, I'm sorry.
01:56:32
Speaker
You guys shut me down a lot. That's all I know. It's almost like being on this podcast. Hey. i truckerers that had Tucker and Brett have very similar sensibilities, so it's usually me going, what about this? And I'm going either a yeah, that's fine, whatever, or B, abso-fucking-lutely not. You're the worst guy in world. Fuck you, Steven.
01:56:52
Speaker
I was a little more aggressive then. Remember, I'm a recovering edgelord. so yeah that's that true that's true that is true and always forget because you made such like a swift and like really caleb both had that energy and over encompassing recovery from that yeah yeah well the first time i saw someone on facebook i thought was stupid post man everybody's stupid i thought oh shit are we all stupid they just unraveled my entire mind wait a minute There you go.
01:57:22
Speaker
No, that's fair. That's fair. i have often thought about that myself. Because if someone truly is kind of stupid, can can we get mad at them for their mistakes?
01:57:36
Speaker
I just can't take myself too seriously about anything. That's that's kind of where I am. But like as long as I'm self-aware,
01:57:44
Speaker
and i am. I like think I am. Yeah. Where is the like like, how stupid am I? Like at what point do I become not responsible we' talk for something but because of my like intellect, whether it's high or low? Yeah.
01:58:00
Speaker
You guys fuck. What the fuck? It's two hours in and you're bringing up this existential shit, man. I'm trying to end the fucking episode. Yeah, well... To my credit, oh I'm trying to end this sumbitch.
01:58:13
Speaker
Well, I'm up until seven in the morning. Thanks, guys. Well, I'd love to hear your thoughts, because, yeah, that's what unraveled me. so Hey, what are your thoughts? I have avoid philosophy.
01:58:25
Speaker
What are your thoughts on that? Let us know. Shoot us an email at disenfranchepod at gmail.com or hit us up on blue sky or YouTube or letterboxd at disenfranchepod.
Social Media Handles
01:58:35
Speaker
I am your host, Stephen Foxworthy. You can find me on letterboxd and blue sky. That's it. Just those two at chewy walrus. Brett can sometimes be found on letterboxd at sus underscore warlock. Tucker, where can we find you these days?
01:58:51
Speaker
I am on Instagram and YouTube at Ice909. That's I-C-E-N-I-N-E, the number zero and the number nine. um You should really check out the YouTube because Sam has, little Sammy here has, you know, like, it's not often people are like, hey, your music's all right. So, like, I feel compelled in this moment to be like, anybody who hasn't been to my YouTube To check out some of my old bullshit. like Maybe check it out.
01:59:24
Speaker
It might be your thing. ah definitely Maybe check out that bullshit. It's probably not, but maybe it is. like it's there's and there i have I have taken those kind of chances my entire life when it comes to music.
01:59:38
Speaker
And more often than not, good comes of it.
01:59:44
Speaker
It's their thing. It's your thing, listener. Trust me. It's it's your thing. Do what you're going to do. I can't tell you who to suck it to. You could, but why would you? I would never.
01:59:55
Speaker
um You shan't. I can't and I shan't and won't. Also, Tuck Mugs is on Instagram for now. That's Tuck underscore Mugs. We are currently not submitting anything to Tuck Mugs.
02:00:07
Speaker
But if you want to send us guest mugs, we will throw those up when we figure out our migration that we've been planning for a while.
02:00:19
Speaker
So keep sending them. Instagram at tuck underscore mugs. We'll collate and figure out what to do with them. It has been a while. if you have a submission, also email it to disenfranchepod at gmail.com.
02:00:33
Speaker
It's been a while because like we kind of fell out of favor with Betta. Yeah. We don't want to really really want to give ah you know Zuck anymore. But at the same time, like i'm sometimes I get inebriated enough that I do be posting on Instagram, though.
02:00:51
Speaker
I know. I've seen it. It's okay. I'm not proud of it. I still scroll and like shit, too, but I don't post it anymore. I appreciate your likes. Yeah. It depends on what account I'm signed in on. If I'm signed in on a disenfranchised, disenfranchised will give you a like. If I'm signed in on a Julie Walrus, Julie Walrus gives you a like.
02:01:10
Speaker
It do be like that. It do be like that. Well, that should just about wrap it up. Two hours in and going strong. Here we are, listeners. We made it through another episode of our Big in Japan 2, even bigger theme month. Join us next week for another ah big old Japanese movie straight from Japan. And yes, it does involve something quite giant. Is it a kaiju movie?
02:01:35
Speaker
Yes, it is. And Tucker's very excited. I mean... i am. Look, every... You want to come back next week, Sam? No, because... So the deal was, i said, Stephanie, which one should I do? And she said, well, the g***a thing. Because I've never watched g***a movies. I've seen one long time ago.
02:01:52
Speaker
okay shit she said Should i be beeping this? Yeah, beep this. just You're beeping everything else. you sorry Copy, copy, copy, copy. ah The thing I can do with Beatrice.
02:02:04
Speaker
because b I've never seen it. I can watch the first time with Beatrice. cause there I wore kid friendly. I remember that. yeah the old one it's the kid It's the kid kaiju. Yeah. yeah yeah ah so That's why I chose Zatoichi. Friend to children, right?
02:02:18
Speaker
Friend to children. I've only seen like five Zatoichi movies. I'm not expert.
02:02:23
Speaker
that's for the children. Yeah, go on. It's something, but yeah. That's why I chose Zatoichi over the ah other one. i And we're going have you, i've I've got an episode that we're we have on the schedule for later this year that we're going to have you back to discuss because it's another one of those franchises that I know you hold near and dear. so Well, I do feel like you overestimate how much I hold near and dear. I've only seen the first one and a half of them.
02:02:47
Speaker
I couldn't to same one. What is it? I'll bleep it. I want to know what it is. What is it? We're going to do the Eli Roth, Bruce Willis 2018. What was the one where they changed the name when it was Kevin Bacon? Death Sentence.
02:02:59
Speaker
Death Sentence. Yeah, that's a James Wan movie. Yeah. can we which is another Can we do that like one after another? ah Let me see if I can make it work in the schedule. we those together and have Sandy back on both? I really like.
02:03:10
Speaker
I do like that movie. It's not because not what I thought it was going to be. But yeah I never really watched the other ones. i didn neither I haven't seen anything. i haven't seen any of them motherfuckers. I just know about them peripherally because I'm a genre fan. so like way you would care The way you and Caleb would talk about and Dirty Harry when we were doing ah Rule of Thirds just kind of made me feel like yeah that would be a franchise that you had a lot of lot of strong feelings for. yeah know I really do like the first one. With caution.
02:03:42
Speaker
I know that Dirty Harry and gets put in the same category as like Red Dawn and Lethal Weapon. Correct. So yeah I do like them with caution. I don't like Lethal... If it helps me, guys, I hate the Lethal Weapon movies, every single one of them, because ACAB.
02:03:57
Speaker
Really? Yeah, I really actually truly Well, I mean... No, they suck. don't know. and And look, the Dirty Harry movies don't even make sense, because in the first movie, he's one character. In the second movie, he's taking down characters that are him from the first movie. and But I love them both.
02:04:14
Speaker
I love them both. yeah so I'm okay. Yeah, no, I get it. and I don't think that you have to agree with the ideology to appreciate the filmmaking yeah and the experience as a whole.
02:04:33
Speaker
yeah For sure. like that I mean, that first Dirty Harry movie, like that what are the first not the first scene, but one of the first scenes of that movie, this motherfucker is just trying to eat a hot dog. He just goes to the spot and gets his hot dog. It's lunchtime.
02:04:47
Speaker
And damn it, if there isn't a bank robbery going And this boy shoots like six dudes while he's eating his chili dog. He's actively eating his chili dog and stopping this robbery.
02:05:00
Speaker
And it's magic. It's cinematic magic. Do I agree with the ideology? No. But it's fantastic to watch. you'll You'll never catch eating a hot dog and shooting people.
02:05:12
Speaker
Which is good for all of Never. I would never do that. But will I watch it in a silly fantastic way? Yes.
02:05:23
Speaker
Yes. And that's all we got for this episode of the disenfranchised podcast. Thank you all for listening. Very special. Thanks to our very special guest, Mr.
Final Promotions and Gratitude
02:05:33
Speaker
Samuel Dumas. Sam, thanks for joining us. we It's always a pleasure. Always.
02:05:36
Speaker
Thank you for having me. Absolutely. Again, whenever whenever you got something you want to plug or promote, give give me a holler and i'll I'll put you on the schedule, man. We'll figure something out. Watch my show.
02:05:48
Speaker
There it is. Yeah, watch watch a show worth watching. Also, give us money, please, because we lost our sponsorship with Robert, so we don't have cameras for our next episode. Unless Murph comes through. So yeah help us out. Give Sammy money.
02:06:01
Speaker
We have a Patreon, but we don't have anything interesting there. Like, it's free. It's just there for you to give us money. go Okay. Yeah, give them money. Why don't you? not like the collapsing around. You gotta do that buy me a coffee thing, right?
02:06:16
Speaker
That's more of like a one-time donation thing. It's like called buy me a coffee, right? It's kind of like Patreon, but instead of a subscription, like people just donate on a trip a Twitch stream or something. I'm gonna look for other stuff, because we already set the Patreon account up before we even realized how to actually use it.
02:06:33
Speaker
And it really, I don't think, still works super well unless we had a whole lot of behind-the-scenes stuff. So did we. Yeah. So right now, everything on there is free to see, but there is stuff on there that I didn't post on YouTube. Oh, there you go.
02:06:45
Speaker
Behind the scenes. One thing. Yeah. There. Yeah. There's a, there's a great video where Zach just absolutely loses his fucking shit. Oh, that's always fun to see. Not a bad, not in a bad way. He doesn't get mad. He's just like talking. He's just fixing the microphone and I'm running everything. He's fixing the microphone and he's talking. And then like, he goes on this insane tangent and never gets to a point.
02:07:05
Speaker
And he just goes all these tangents. Yeah, he just goes and goes and goes and goes. And then the show, I just start the show. I'm like, we're rolling, man. And so he just segues into the opening of the show. That's amazing. I didn't include that. That's awesome. Yeah.
02:07:15
Speaker
I may included that right in the episode. So yeah, technically it is on YouTube, but. That's the kind of shit Patreon's for, though. Exactly. ah So until next time, i have been your host, Stephen Foxworthy, for my co-host, Tucker the Absent, Brent Wright, and the very present, very special Samuel Dumas.
02:07:33
Speaker
Until next time. du to da do du yeah dada du da datada da down daed and da and du ah Should I be done? Okay.
02:07:49
Speaker
That's not 227, Steven. That's Zatoichi is the A-team, motherfucker. Yeah, but what? Come on, man. 227. 227.
02:08:19
Speaker
Bye.