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Reflecting on Moving Away from NYC
155 Plays1 year ago
I got asked about this quite a lot lately and I thought it would be interesting to make an episode about it. NYC is such an interesting city, but it is also very a difficult place to live. There is always that honeymoon stage with every place, but after a while dust settles in and we realize the true experience of living in this place. I think that's exactly what happened with me & NYC and overtime I just realize it wasn't the place for me so I hope this would be helpful to some of you who are either considering leaving NYC or would like to move there, but not sure if they should.
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Transcript
Introduction to Episode 3
00:00:15
Speaker
Hi guys, so welcome to Wild and Basic. This is episode 3 of this new season.
Challenges in Video Production
00:00:24
Speaker
I honestly don't know how I'm making it so far in this episode because these video recordings have been so challenging and it takes so much work like editing it.
00:00:35
Speaker
And thank God I'm not doing it, but I just can't believe that I'm saying it. It's a lot
Living and Leaving NYC: Reflections
00:00:39
Speaker
of work. So in today's episode, because I've got this question so many times and I feel like also this would be very interesting to talk about because a lot of people have been asking me, but it was just a very popular topic. New York City and reflecting on my time living in New York City and why I left New York City.
00:01:02
Speaker
I wrote down some things that I have learned over the years, but also things that one should think about.
00:01:10
Speaker
If you're considering moving there permanently or just checking it out and see how it feels, this is going to be the episode for you. So that's what we're going to talk about today. It's not going to be just all my reasons of living in New York City, but also more about the lifestyle and the things that I have experienced when I used to live there. So I'm not going to give an update this time because I feel like I gave so much update last time about
The Cost of Living in NYC
00:01:40
Speaker
like my life and I feel like that's going to be a long topic so I'm gonna put that into next episode and next episode is also going to be a guest episode I have already recorded and it's going to be a very fun one so I'm very excited for that but let's get started on like one of my reasoning like living in New York City so the first one this is actually a pretty obvious one that I feel like a lot of people
00:02:05
Speaker
would definitely like say or so you're already expecting it the high cost of living it's obviously very very expensive place there's just a lot of cost associated with it it's starting from housing eating
00:02:24
Speaker
just like living honestly but also on top of it like taxes like it's a lot so starting by living is like so rent obviously is very expensive you can definitely find more affordable places but the word affordable is kind of relative to everyone like it really depends on who you are or where you are because like what i'm paying right now in miami
00:02:54
Speaker
is actually considered affordable in your city versus in Miami, it's not really considered affordable. Like does that make sense? That's what I'm trying to say. So it's very, very different to look at. But in your city, like if you want to find something that is like affordable and then like a good area, that's going to be very difficult. And like people would consider paying three, 4k for a studio.
00:03:22
Speaker
as affordable because that's just how messed up the how messed up and how crazy expensive the rent is but usually most of the time people end up paying like 4 to 5k for a nice one-bedroom apartment and they know like how crazy that sounds but that's just so normal on top of it is just like the whole lifestyle so in Miami or a lot of places like California
00:03:51
Speaker
You're more used to just like cooking because you don't want to drive all the time. You're at home. It's like, even if you go out, you go out once in a while or you just go for drinks. New York City is very different in that style because you're constantly, constantly going out for coffee, for lunch, like for dinner. It just, that's like the lifestyle. Like it's always like that. And you end up spending a lot of money.
00:04:20
Speaker
Like, just the coffee alone, I mean, coffee is so expensive everywhere these days, honestly, but just the coffee alone, you could be spending like $7 to $8 for something like so basic, like a latte, and even if you add like, ultimate milk or something like, non-dairy alternative, it could even go like, I don't know, as close to like $10, which is like so ridiculous, I just can't justify that.
00:04:48
Speaker
Okay, so those are one things. And other thing is like, people definitely go out a lot. So that adds up to the whole price of like, just living, I guess. Cause people don't cook a lot. That's the whole thing. In New York City, people just don't cook. Like, even if you have a nice apartment, many people that I have met and or I have been to their apartment, it's just like, you would never see them cooking. Versus like, it's very different story in other places.
00:05:17
Speaker
Lastly, the taxes. This is a lot. I am self-employed, so this year still will be, as a New York president, I will be paying New York taxes. You pay state tax, you pay federal obviously, but also on top of it,
00:05:38
Speaker
If your address is based on like the city, you are going to be paying city taxes as well. So that is something just so outrageous that adds up on top of the whole thing that you are paying. It could add up a lot. I mean, thank God I have business expenses that I can kind of like deduct it from what I'm paying for my taxes, but it is definitely a lot in taxes and comparing to the lifestyle that you're getting.
00:06:07
Speaker
it's just not adding up. So those are the whole things that's associated with the cost. This cost is definitely really, really expensive in New York City or just whole New York area. Honestly, the state itself is just like, it's a lot, but you do get to save some more if you're living outside of New York a bit, like New Jersey or maybe like upstate New York or maybe a little bit Long Island, but then there are those Hamptons that's like even more expensive. Everything is like,
00:06:37
Speaker
overpriced for no apparent reason, so you're not going to be getting so much for your value. That was the first reasoning.
Personal and Social Impacts of NYC Life
00:06:46
Speaker
So the second reasoning, this is very also a common thing that people would expect, is just New York City is a very crowded place. Every single corner, every single place that you're going, you're always going to have a crowd, you're always going to have a wait time. It's just a lot. Sometimes I feel like
00:07:05
Speaker
you get so caught up and you're like, oh my God, I want my own personal space. I want to be like by myself for a bit or just like walk around without touching anyone, without getting shoulder checked all the time. Like it's just, it can be a lot. And I feel like in the beginning that made me feel good that like, Oh my God, there are like so many people like just, it's a lot, like it's fun. Like it's really crowded. Like there's that energy that's coming.
00:07:34
Speaker
But over time that gets super super exhausting and you're kind of like in your own world even though you're in this like crowd but you end up feeling like I don't know alone and also somewhat like lonely and that's that feeling I feel like it brought living in New York City which I feel like some people did mention that like a lot of people never say it it's just I feel like this is a fact it's like New York, Manhattan is an island
00:08:03
Speaker
so and I feel like everyone is kind of like feel like an island in their own way although like you're always accessible to like places always accessible you can go to places you can reach out to people so quickly but everyone is kind of like doing their own thing like their own little island and like it does feel like that in many ways that people don't realize I mean it's easy to socialize it's easy to make friends but there's that like
00:08:30
Speaker
lack of connection sometimes because everything is happening so quickly and you're meeting so many people, sometimes that doesn't really work out in a way that you would make long-lasting friendships or connections over time. Which is not a lot of people talk about. Lastly, from that jumping on, is the hustle culture. Because New York is such a fast-paced place,
00:08:58
Speaker
There's just like, everything is so quick, like it's just on and on, one meeting after another, one work after another.
00:09:06
Speaker
People rarely have one job. They literally have like, I don't know, two, three jobs or side hustles, which is, I feel like it's a cool thing, but then you don't have a life. People rarely have lives in New York. Honestly, I feel like 90% of what they do is literally associated with their work. And that's kind of like a toxic environment in a way. I feel like it's great to have some sort of a discipline, especially in your earlier twenties or like,
00:09:35
Speaker
even like your teen years, I feel like it teaches you a lot. And I feel like that's what I learned at that time when I like was in New York and like the whole time. I feel like it taught me so much, but I feel like over time he realized like you're getting so tired, you're agitated, constantly working, constantly just like hustling on your way through to like make it to the top, which is that's what everyone wants in New York.
00:10:04
Speaker
And I feel like that's why they're there. When you're at a party or something, yes, people will try to be nice with you, but 9 out of 10, they are more curious about what kind of job you have, where do you work, and they need to think about how they can use you or how you can use them. Something sometimes doesn't feel so genuine.
00:10:26
Speaker
And that's just kind of like, I guess, like the lifestyle because everyone is like trying to make it to the top and trying to achieve their goals and dreams. In a way, they do have a purpose. I can see that. Okay. Number four. This is one of my reasonings that I'm kind of like, huh, I'm not sure. Like at first I didn't notice this, but almost every activity in like New York City, it involves drinking.
00:10:55
Speaker
And I don't mean like just involve drinking. It's just like it is all about drinking. Like in Miami, in California, California is maybe a little different story. But yeah, like people drink socially here and there, but not everything is around drinking.
00:11:20
Speaker
But because New York, right? Like, weather changes, things are different, right? Like, it's not always, like, warm. So there, almost every other activity would be drinking. Like, going out, eating, drinking. That's it. Versus, like, in Miami, you know, there's so many activities you could do. So you could go to a beach, you can play sports, like, you can do jets, you can ride a jet ski. Like, there's so many activities you could do. It's not just drinking. Yes, some of it you could do this while drinking.
00:11:50
Speaker
But I feel like in New York it's just like, it's just drinking. Like, 9 out of 10, every activity is just drinking. And that was kind of like... I don't know, it was like, it was not my vibe. It's like, don't get me wrong, it's like, drinking socially is fun and like...
00:12:06
Speaker
Like, it's a cool... I mean, it's a thing. Like, I would do it, you know, because it's like a fun thing to do. Like, in a social crowd, in a social gathering. But is this something that I would be like, I want to be doing? Is that just like having fun doing other things? Probably not. But sadly, that's what all the activities involved in there. And I was kind of, like, tired and I got to a point that I was like, I don't know if I want this anymore.
00:12:34
Speaker
And every other weekend, I was just kind of like, I'm over this. I don't want to be going out all the time. I don't want to be like...
00:12:43
Speaker
just drinking all the time like I want to go to a beach I want to like I don't know enjoy my life but like I can't do that in New York it's like even in like the summer in order to go to the beach you have to take a train you have to drive for an hour or two to get to a beach and like then the area is so crowded you can barely do anything just saying like there's a lot that you have to sacrifice for your mental health or just for yourself and I was just kind of like not having it
Safety Concerns in NYC
00:13:13
Speaker
Number five, this is something changed over the years because it was such a different experience when I first got to New York versus like nowadays or after the pandemic because things really, really escalated.
00:13:30
Speaker
New York has always felt safe place for me. I never, for a second, I was like, oh my God, I'm scared. But over the years, things changed. And when I start to use the subway or when I start to go to places, I start to feel certain type of way. And I never, ever felt like that before.
00:13:55
Speaker
New York has always been a safe place for me. But ever since the incident, people getting pushed over in front of the train, on the train tracks, and things like that, I was kind of starting to feel a certain way. And I can see that people were too. People always tried to be against the wall, not close to the train track, and many other things. It just never felt like what it was before. Subway,
00:14:24
Speaker
It was never a place in New York that people would be like, oh my god, I'm so scared to use the subway. I don't think any New Yorker would have said that or has said that. But that's what it has come to. I don't know how it is now. Maybe it's changing. But it was still mixed thoughts. People were still like, I'm not sure if I want to use the subway. I'm not sure if it's a safe place. People were using a lot of Uber.
00:14:53
Speaker
Like it was just not really the vibe. Like I feel like New York is a place that like young people have fun. It's like it's like a place that you go out, drink and fun. Like it's, it's like a fun place to be at. But I feel like if it's not a safe place to be at, then you're like, what's going on? Like perfect example, put the subway aside. Hell's Kitchen is one of the very popular areas in New York for gay crowd. Like it's a gay neighborhood.
00:15:22
Speaker
a lot of gay bars like a lot of crowd like that like you would see like 9 out of 10 there's a lot of gay crowd there you would see it's like 90% is gay crowd but for the past few months or so like there have been like
00:15:40
Speaker
videos and like or the news articles that saying that like people have been throwing rocks into like gay bars or like people getting I don't know harassed after they're leaving the bar something like that
00:15:54
Speaker
That is so unreal because New York City has one of the biggest gay populations. So imagine if people are going through something like that in New York City. I cannot imagine someone else going through this similar thing in somewhere else. It could be way worse. If people are experiencing that in New York, I cannot imagine what people are experiencing in Idaho. That was just a random thought, but I'm not sure if this is happening in Idaho. I just ran like in other states.
00:16:22
Speaker
So I'm just saying, it's pretty crazy that that stuff could happen in a place like New York. That it's so diverse, people come from all cultures, all places, there's so much going on, but the fact that people are experiencing something like this, people have to think twice before they have to go to certain places, before they go out. That was never a thing in New York, like ever. I don't think anyone ever be like,
00:16:51
Speaker
Because in New York, everything is so spontaneous. People can go to Brooklyn, they can go to Queens, they can go to Bronx. It's like here, here, here. But nowadays, you're like, oh, do I feel safe in that place? Do I want to go? You have more things to think about. And that changed the way I thought about New York City. And that wasn't what I wanted to do. And that wasn't the place I wanted to be at.
00:17:21
Speaker
Lastly, this is like, some people might disagree with me on this, but at least that's how I felt.
Building Relationships in NYC: A Challenge?
00:17:29
Speaker
I would say there's almost like a lack of community and social isolation in your city. Because you meet so many people, you make a lot of connections.
00:17:44
Speaker
And that's like the greatest part about New York City is like it is so easy to network. You can definitely network. You can meet really influential people. But when it comes to actually making friends or making like this long term friends or connections, like very big connections that that will last for years.
00:18:05
Speaker
that is probably not true. Because everyone is so focused on their own lives, their own problems, or the things that are going on in their life. I feel like friendships is almost kind of like another thing, another level. And they're like, oh, like, they think, nine out of ten, they're thinking about like, is this friend useful for me? Versus like, is this the friend that I want to hang out with because they are my friend?
00:18:33
Speaker
It is a very different environment. It feels very different. And that's one reason I felt so disconnected many times. Because even at the events, sometimes I meet creators in my community. It would just be like, hi, hey. We never get to do anything. We never get to be, I don't know, actually connecting versus
00:19:00
Speaker
many places that I have visited especially in California even like I made deeper connections versus the ones that I made in New York because in New York it was straight out
00:19:13
Speaker
just a business deal, business connection, acquaintance, nothing wrong with that. But I just feel like there were so many of those happened versus like the actual friends that I wanted to make because I don't know. I just feel like people have different mindsets when they are in New York. Everything is so focused around their work and their goals. And like they sometimes forget that like you want to have friends around.
00:19:44
Speaker
Yeah, I feel like people always use this like terminology that like, Oh my God, Lamborghini has like only two seats. Like you don't need too many people, but you need like friends. Like you need like.
00:19:55
Speaker
people that you want to hang out with, not just like just business connections, not just acquaintances that you would see once in a while and just hang out with just for the camera or just for the things that you would do for a brand deal or for this kind of thing. It is like that gets you sometimes you're like at the end of the day when I come home like do I feel
Weather and Transportation Issues
00:20:23
Speaker
happy or do I feel like I am so I don't know like lonely or so empty like you don't want to feel like that and I feel like that's something I was feeling a lot like and I mean a lot in New York City I think weather definitely contributed a lot obviously I mean I feel like biggest reason one of the biggest reasons I chose to leave New York is because of the weather because I was so tired of New York City's weather
00:20:54
Speaker
yes there are times that it could be nice like even in the winter sometimes it could be like 60 degrees but nine out of ten it's either very cold like i mean really really cold or it's like really warm and almost like humid so humid like in the summer it's almost impossible to walk it's awful and you don't drive so it's obvious it sucks so you have to walk everywhere yes it's a walkable place but like
00:21:24
Speaker
I feel like sometimes people think that like, you're, people sometimes walk like 30 minutes in New York and they don't even realize that because they are walking in your city, but that's like a lot of walking. I'm so glad that like I can have a car here. I had a car, like it's the same car obviously, but like in New York, but it was such a hassle to have a car in New York, like having a garage because most people don't have garages. You have to have another garage and like pay for that. Like it was expensive, but not the fact that I don't have that.
00:21:55
Speaker
My car is literally in the same floor as me. I can literally walk to my car and I don't pay.
00:22:02
Speaker
for my charging, I don't pay for stuff like that. There's so many overhead costs that associated with my car, but also on top of it like once in a while finding parking, it was awful. Yes, parking can be difficult in Miami two times a time, but it's nothing crazy as New York. And the times that I even got like scratches on my car because of some people parked too close to me, like it's awful. Like I would never, I would not recommend
00:22:30
Speaker
anyone having a car in New York, unless you absolutely need to have it, but especially if it's a nice car, oh my god, you're gonna get scratches parked on the street with this parallel parking everywhere, unless you're gonna do a garage and the car arches are so expensive. It's like, if you want to drive in New York, it's like, don't, I mean, don't, don't drive in New York.
00:22:52
Speaker
I mean, I love driving, so I wanted to have a car, but I'm glad I moved somewhere that I can drive if I want to, and also walk if I want to. That's why I like so much about Miami, that I got the best of both worlds. I can walk if I want to, but I can also drive if I want to. I don't have to pick and choose in between. I can make my own decision in that department.
Personal Events Influencing Departure
00:23:14
Speaker
But yeah, those are some of the reasons that I left New York City, and
00:23:21
Speaker
It was like finally the time for me to start my own chapter. That's what I want to actually conclude it with because I think there were obviously many, many questions that people asked about, but these were some of the reasons that I left. But obviously there are other personal reasons that is associated with it. But obviously my breakup contributed a lot to that department, but I did not like
00:23:49
Speaker
leave New York City because of my breakup it was just associated with it because I would not recommend anyone to to make a drastic decision like this just because of a breakup because you're overcompensating it you need to understand the problem because even if you leave even if you move
00:24:09
Speaker
that your problems won't go away they come with you and I know that so I'm not saying that like I did it because of it but it was definitely one of the reasons that I considered it because I don't think if my breakup didn't happen I'm not sure if I would be in Miami right now I mean I always wanted to leave New York City but I think I always thought I would end up in LA
00:24:33
Speaker
but just things really happen in a way that we never expected to and that's why Miami is my place right now at the moment I'm definitely going to make an episode about what it is like to live in Miami as well but I want to learn more about it as it's been only like two months that I've been living in Miami so
00:24:53
Speaker
there's still so much I can learn but these are some of the reasons why I left New York City and why I don't think it's good for me anymore but also why some of the reasons people actually leave as well it's not just my reasoning there are many reasons that included in this podcast episode that people left New York City because I was just in a creator meetup recently in Miami and I think that like almost all of the
00:25:21
Speaker
All the people in the group were living in New York City at one point. They all had the same reasoning and same things that we said. It's just not just me who is living in New York City. A lot of younger generation are living in bigger cities because we want more quality of life.
Seeking Better Quality of Life
00:25:36
Speaker
not just constantly working all the time. And I think that is something to think about for a lot of us. Like if you want more comfort, more quality of life, you might not be able to find that in bigger cities like New York City, San Francisco, or even L.A. So it's something to think about. And I hope you guys like this episode. If you do, please don't forget to rate us on Apple podcast or very big podcast. And I'll see you guys next week.