Neither Extrovert Nor Introvert

Transcript

Speaker: Hey guys, so welcome back to another episode of Wild and Basic. I picked the setup a little bit. I swear every single time I'm recording something, it's like I keep changing the setup because I get bored so easily. Anyways, so today we are going to be talking about a topic that I think I have mentioned maybe once or twice, but I never really like dedicated an episode about it or just talked about it solely.

Speaker: what it is like being an ambivert. And I don't necessarily know if I consider myself ambivert, but that's kind of like a textbook definition of what I am, I guess, because I have tendencies of being an extrovert and also introvert at the same time. I just go through phases. Some might consider me

Speaker: introvert some people consider me extrovert so that's why i feel like it's very um i don't know difficult for me to just be like oh yeah i guess like i remember because i wouldn't say like i'm 50 50 it just depends and i just want to talk about this from my perspective maybe some people will understand because i think everybody loves to put people in a box

Speaker: not just about this topic but about many other things is that like you're this person you're that person you do this and that's why when i come to that like no one is just that one thing i feel like there are definitions there for a reason but

Speaker: Feel like we are so complex human beings are so complex and it's so hard for us to be just one person Hence, I just don't think that's that That's the case for everyone. Some people could be I mean, I feel like I could be a textbook definition of Basic that I completely admit that like I could consider myself a

Speaker: basic like i feel like i am in many ways that i could say 100 many other things i feel like not exactly the point anyways that's what we're going to talk about today but before that let me give you guys like a little bit of announcement

Speaker: Because I keep switching my podcast hosting like a lot. I think it's my fifth time or fourth time. I don't know. Just want to let you guys know that video version of this podcast, it used to be on Spotify and YouTube.

Speaker: now it's only on YouTube it's not going to be on Spotify anymore just want to let you guys know so you guys know I mean if you guys do want to watch the YouTube definitely go in there I just think that it makes it a lot easier for me to just like dedicate it to YouTube but also I can get it

Speaker: posted a lot faster on Spotify because sometimes rendering and editing takes a lot of time to just put it on to processing, I don't mean rendering processing takes a lot of time to put it up on Spotify so I feel like it makes it a lot easier for me because if you do want to watch it, go on YouTube and also that helps a lot with my YouTube channel so that will help me a lot and I would appreciate it so much

Speaker: So now we got that out of the way, let's talk about the first thing. I think one thing I wanna mention, and I feel like this is probably, I mean, I'm sure everybody agrees with this, right? Everybody technically goes through phases. Not just when it comes to this stuff, but just I feel like overall stuff.

Speaker: Maybe I will talk about this in another episode for sure. But I think there are times in our lives that we prioritize certain things like our social life.

Speaker: Sometimes we we are like well this stage of my life I think I need to really focus on building my social life meaning like Spend more time as friends or spend more time as my loved ones and like just go out more You know like social be more social That's your priority right now, but then there are other times that

Speaker: that you have other priorities like school right like when you're in school it's very difficult and like i think you go through a lot of other things that you need to be doing at school so you don't necessarily have too much time for that kind of stuff like social stuff sometimes actually this school social and like school kind of combines depending on what kind of school you're going to because i'd be honest if you go to a school that's a party school

Speaker: not the throw shade but like if you go to UM or if you go to like some schools like in Boston area like I know from the experience like liberal arts college or just actually a lot of schools in Boston like even like Ivy League schools like even Dartmouth I would say yes it's a decent school I mean it's a good school but it's very party school so I'm saying like kind of social life comes together

Speaker: Then other factor is work or your career. I guess in that case sometimes You have to prioritize your career. Yes, people always say this And I always want to take this with a grain of salt because I want to believe it I really do want to believe it, but sometimes it's just not the case. I

Speaker: They say you can have it all, meaning as long as you balance things out, you can have it all. You can have a successful career, you can have amazing social life, and you can also be in a great relationship. Stuff like that.

Speaker: I feel like that just sounds so good to be true because I'm just telling you guys it just from my experience at least I'm just saying that just BS big BS like I just don't think that is feasible like realistically it's just not possible I think we go through so many things in life and I think there are times that those one of the one of the areas

Speaker: needs more attention than the other hence you cannot necessarily have it all you can have it somewhat all but that doesn't mean that all of them is working you might think it is but i feel like once you look at it like at the bigger picture and you're like hmm actually i feel like maybe i neglect certain certain things

Speaker: And that's why I say that I feel like that's why we go through phases. Because I think sometimes we are social and that means we are more extrovert. Then there are times that we are not as social, that means we are introvert. And I think that in between these times, I feel like we also go through other things, mentally maybe, or physically sometimes too.

Speaker: maybe we are it's not necessarily the priority of one of these things like social life career like being in a relationship but sometimes it's just like you are not necessarily feeling your best and i think sometimes people don't understand that and that's why i just want to put it out there that i think

Speaker: Sometimes if you think someone is not in the picture in your life or not as close as before or like you're not seeing them as much before, that's not always the case that like, oh, they just don't want to hang out with you. Um, I just think sometimes people go through things that they don't want to share or they don't want to talk to. They don't want to share it with anyone personally.

Speaker: and that's why they like isolate themselves for a while to just like deal with their own stuff and like once they're out of it they just come back like you know what they say like you know sometimes you try so hard to keep your head above the water and I just feel like that's sometimes what people do like I think they just don't wanna like share or put

Speaker: Burden on other people and that's why like they want to just keep this to themselves So they can like deal with their own problems Not like put that on someone else and once they are done with their own mess they can come back to you and

Speaker: sadly is like this is what happens sometimes that i feel like once you're doing that you might end up like isolating yourself a bit too much that like people are like what is going on he was like he used to do this now he doesn't do this anymore and that's what happens right sometimes and that's why i want to come up with like i feel like there are times besides like these priorities i think

Speaker: being extrovert, I sometimes, sometimes it gives me so much energy. And like, I don't know, I feel like I'm getting new perspective in life. I'm like, I'm making connections. It's like, it feels fun. Like I don't feel drained. And that's literally the definition of what being extrovert is. Like when you meet people, you feel, you know, energized and like you are happy. You don't feel like you're tired.

Speaker: But then there are times...

Speaker: I feel like an introvert even when I am in these settings I feel that my energy is being sucked out and I just need clarity and I feel like I would be better off alone at this time and that's just I feel like what sucks so much about it because I feel like I cannot necessarily predict that I cannot necessarily be like okay today I'm feeling extroverts

Speaker: or tomorrow I'm gonna be feeling intro worked like it just doesn't work like that I just know sometimes I do it on purpose because I want to prioritize certain things like that's why I was trying to say so like I feel like if there's something else going on in my career or I need to do I need to focus on certain things that I have to be doing that when I try to I feel like I am like in my own cocoon like I just don't go out so much

Speaker: All I do is eat, workout, post videos, and that's it. And I just think because at that stage I feel like that's more important for me rather than hanging out with people and socializing. But then there are times that I feel like it's not that case, but I feel like it just feels like going out, it just doesn't feel like

Speaker: for me at that time. And that's why I'm saying it's so hard to explain, but I just think maybe it's based on your company as well. Not to put this on people at all, because I think everyone is different. Everyone's crowd is different. You obviously have more to say, depending on how you feel people around you.

Speaker: Like I feel like definitely your crowd sets the tone for you. And that's why I feel like there are times that I have gone out or I have been with people and I'm just like, Oh my God, this was so fun. But there are times that I have done that out of obligation.

Speaker: That's why I'm just kind of like, oh my god, I feel so drained. And I feel like this is just so on and off thing. That's why I admire people.

Speaker: who are just extrovert or who are just introvert because I think maybe that just makes things more clear right like in a way that like wow like you don't necessarily guess you just know exactly how you feel I think that's such a great feeling that aspect that I would say for sure because I think for me

Speaker: There are many times that I have been super unsure. Like I know this for fact, like big fact. Like my dad, he's the most extroverted person I know. He loves talking to people. He loves like, he would literally go out of his own way to just like talk to people sometimes. Maybe it's the age thing, like older you get, like more socially you become. I have no idea. Um,

Speaker: I mean like he would say hello like he would like he wouldn't mind being in the crowd so much like he wouldn't mind asking so many things like going to details with someone like some stranger he just met like it's very different story but I think there are times that like especially around him I'm just like

Speaker: i don't know i feel like it just takes so much out of me because he's so social in a way that i'm just like okay great you were talking to this person that's great but just i just don't want to do that like i just want to eat my food all right i'm gonna get my drink and get the hell out of here like i don't want to talk to anyone i don't want to like have an interaction with anyone like please i tell this to like a lot of people too like i just don't know i feel like every place is different obviously too

Speaker: I just don't think anyone should take an offense if someone doesn't say hello to you in case you might potentially know them.

Speaker: or like or you just like hang saw them like at the like you're like a neighbor or something or you come to the same coffee shop or something just because you see each other like i feel like don't take this the wrong way just like sometimes you're not in the mood like sometimes i'm just not in the mood to just be even fake pretend that like hey how are you like i don't honestly want to talk to you like nothing personal

Speaker: just at all, it's just that I just don't feel like talking to you. And same thing with like when I even sometimes go into the Uber, like I just want to get into their car, tell them like this is me, yeah, like you're picking me up, and don't talk the whole way, then you drop me off at the destination, that's it. That would be like my perfect scenario.

Speaker: I feel like, yes, there are times that if you ask a couple things, I wouldn't necessarily mind talking, but it's just like, it's a lot. I feel like, I know, again, this might ruffle some feathers, but I don't care. I really don't care what you do. I don't care about your life. I don't think you should care about my life either. I don't wanna share my life with you. I don't wanna share where am I going.

Speaker: I want to share which airport going or I don't well you probably have to see that or terminal this different store I don't want to share why am I going to that place or what place I'm going like

Speaker: You don't need to know that I don't need to share with you. Like don't take it personal. Like that's it. Like I just don't care. Really, really don't care. And maybe it's because like I am reserved person in some ways. I feel like maybe I don't come across as that, but I feel like I really am.

Speaker: I just think it's very particular. Like when it comes to strangers, I wouldn't talk that much. I would be friendly, but I have like, what is the word for it? Like a barrier that you don't want to pass.

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Speaker: you're being rude or anything and I just feel like there are times that I could be like open and I could be open to be talking but I feel like sometimes you really have to read the social cues and that's why I'm trying to say like I feel like we are everybody goes through phases and that's why I feel like it's kind of connected and people automatically just love to slap these um names and like terms they're like you're an introvert or you're extrovert like

Speaker: I feel like yes, I feel like to an extent you could consider me like that. Yeah, there are times that I love, absolutely love, being in my bed, or I mean, being on the couch, watching TV, and eating my food, or I don't know, like...

Speaker: eating my ninja creamy ice cream that I made yeah there are times I like that but then there are times that I do want to hang out I just think that like sometimes people don't understand that because I feel like most parts of my life the way I have been surrounded with most people it's always been like the people either that don't go out like I mean at all

Speaker: They love to be in bed by 9, which is no judgment. But that's all they want to do almost all the time. Then the other side of the spectrum, I have been similar with people that like who almost always go out Friday through Sunday or even sometimes Thursday through Sunday.

Speaker: and that just rubs me the wrong way because I'm like I do want to hang out with you but don't take me off your list just because next week I don't come with you like I just want to come once in a while but I don't want to come

Speaker: I don't want to go out every weekend. So I feel like that's what I'm saying. Like it just doesn't, I feel like I never, I don't fit into any of these categories. There are times that I want to go out, I don't want to come home until 2am or something, I don't know. But then there are times that I also want to be in bed by 9pm. But I just feel like it's so hard for me, like I haven't found that crowd. That crowd that exactly matches my energy.

Speaker: That's why I say that I feel like many people say like, oh yeah, I'm an ambivert. But I feel like, I don't know. In an extent, I feel like sometimes people expect that it would be 50 -50. But it's just not the case at all. And that's why I feel like people always sees you different way. Because I know for facts, like big, big. Like my dad would 100 % describe me as introvert.

Speaker: Some people, from my other crowd of close friends, would describe me as extrovert. And maybe some new people who just met me, they might describe me as introvert. That's what I'm saying. I feel like I never thought... I don't think I've ever gotten a concrete answer of what people would describe me as. But I feel like I am sharing this experience to tell people that it's not a concrete answer. They're like, yeah, today I am feeling introvert.

Speaker: tomorrow i'm gonna go like extra work like it's just not the case a lot of it has to do with that your energy like how you're feeling that day but obviously also like what i just mentioned before it could be with your lifestyle as well because i think depending on where you're in your life

Speaker: Priorities do change and I think even Emma Chamberlain was saying this and that's why I agree with her 100 % and that's what kind of like inspired me to make this episode because I think it's just so refreshing to hear that from someone else like her that like

Speaker: Yeah, like there are times in your life you tend to focus on your social life and that's okay but I feel like that's why like your social life is thriving and that's why like you feel like this extrovert person at the time but then there are times that you're focusing on your career and that's why I feel like then your social life suffers and you become people more and people associate you more as like introverts

Speaker: and that's why i feel like i'm gonna come to like conclusion that i feel like you're not going to be having all all the time and this is what has happened to me over the years that i want to share so like most times in my life it has always been like this maybe out of the year right like 12 months

Speaker: maybe two three months it has been like social and i mean like almost extremely social like every weekend go out and sometimes i'm puked on that weekend because it was like too much alcohol um yeah like i hate it i feel like it's always like this with me is that like those couple months i have been going out too much

Speaker: Not really, like obviously it seems like fun, but it always comes to a point that I'm like, oh my god, I hate going out, I hate liquor, I hate alcohol, it makes me hate everything about going out.

Speaker: that's why I'm like oh okay I need like a break like I don't want to do this and that's why like I go into my cocoon and like become an introvert but sometimes that end up lasting like not a couple months sometimes it lasts like six months that like I don't necessarily do much and for me also I think sometimes there's like a little bit of a confusion there as well because I think

Speaker: For a lot of people it's very distinct thing that like you either go out, right, or you just stay in. But then there are times for me, for my job, right? I have events that I need to go to, right? And those are like kind of like almost like going out because like you go out, you have drinks, you talk to a brand, you talk, they talk about the new product and like

Speaker: you talk with the PR person, the manager and stuff like that and like that in many ways feels like going out and for me if I never have to go out in my life ever again and just do that like only go out for business purposes I wouldn't necessarily be upset about it because I feel like that kind of concludes that because I think many times yes I do like going out but I don't necessarily like

Speaker: can't randomly ever go out to a club unless it's like a holiday or something that's what i'm saying i feel like i don't think i ever see myself just like going out on a random friday or thursday for no apparent reason unless it's a holiday unless it's like halloween or i don't know like um christmas like some holiday going on that i am you will see me out

Speaker: And that's why I feel like if it is like a brand event, then I'm like, okay, I could be extrovert today because it's for my career. That's why I feel like I have learned to adjust myself for that purpose. And that's why I feel like it was kind of confusing to me because many of those times whenever I would be introvert certain times,

Speaker: there would be these events happening and I'd be like, okay, time to act extrovert today and do this and I would try to talk to as many people as possible because that's where my career is in the line and it's better to make connections. That's why I feel like then I would come back to my usual introvert routine.

Speaker: that's why i feel like if i have that option to like not ever go out and like only be at home most of the time but then go out for events i wouldn't mind and even sometimes maybe after the events go out for a few more drinks i wouldn't necessarily mind that either so that is something that i would be like okay

Speaker: i can work with that but that's why i feel like it sometimes makes me question that i am like what is going on like why am i feeling like this but i i see that this is what's been happening a lot more with me and that's why i want to see if like

Speaker: I guess like other people feel the same but like do you have like these phases that like you feel extrovert for a while then you're introvert then you're extrovert again and that's why I feel like I'm trying to find better balance that like even the times that I feel extrovert I don't wanna I don't want it to get to a point that I hate going out

Speaker: or i hate alcohol and that i'm just like i'm so over this i don't want to do this again so i feel like that's why i want to find a balance that i don't do that again and i don't like isolate myself for too long so that's why i wanted to share with you guys today

Speaker: I hope you guys find this episode helpful. This is so much just my perspective on how I'm feeling as I guess technically being an ambivert. I just wanted to share that with you guys because it's very difficult to sometimes even explain this because I think people love to just like put you in a box and that's why I share that like if you don't resonate with any of this, that is okay too. I think we all have our own version of

Speaker: you know, being an extrovert and being an introvert or ambivert. So it's not necessarily means that you are that person. Um, I know I, sometimes it might be nice to just be like just introvert or just extrovert because that might make things so much clearer for you as well. But I just think, uh, someone was kind of like in the middle, like we don't necessarily going to,

Speaker: either direction 50 50 and that's okay and that's why I wanted to share it so I hope you guys like this episode if you do please don't forget to give a thumbs up and subscribe on my youtube for the video version and anywhere else on podcast platform