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This is How Society Portrays Age [ARCHIVE]
180 Plays11 months ago
I know I'm not that old, but with the standards of Hollywood and society, 25 is old enough. Here I'm talking about how many times over the years I was called older than I was because of the way I looked on social media and in real life.
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Transcript
Reflections on Age and Social Challenges
00:00:15
Speaker
Hi guys, so welcome back to Wild and Basic. So today I actually had like a completely different topic that I want to talk about and I literally tried to record for this solid 10 minutes, then I'm just like, this is very crap. It was very, it was not good at all. So since I recently had a birthday and I'm just like, so I feel like I'm always like thinking about like, birthdays has something been like so weird to me.
00:00:40
Speaker
Maybe it's just because of my childhood or whatever. I don't want to get into it honestly, but I want to talk about like age. I feel like at certain part of our lives, maybe from the start or just overall, we always have some sort of concern.
00:00:57
Speaker
Maybe this is just me, but I feel like it's not just me. There are so many people who probably go through the same thing that people either guess is their age wrong or they're just thinking that they're older or they're so much younger. I think there are so many occasions that some things can end up being just insulting or rude.
00:01:19
Speaker
or just kind of like, I don't know, judgmental. I feel like people are so many ways that that can interpret things in a different way and people don't see
Addressing Insensitivity in Age Assumptions
00:01:28
Speaker
that. So I feel like it's very important to just talk about how sometimes you can't just guess people's age or you can't just ask them their age. I feel like asking is one thing that's kind of like, I guess you're curious.
00:01:41
Speaker
but automatically assuming their age because of, I don't know, for what, it's kind of wrong. So that's what I want to talk about today. I'm not going to make it like super, super serious. I want to make it like fun because I think last episode was kind of like very deep. So this one I wanted to keep it light, insert some possible jokes if I can think of anything.
Maturity and Misjudged Age Perceptions
00:02:04
Speaker
I also don't think I'm that funny. I mean,
00:02:08
Speaker
I feel like I am funnier like on videos it's because like I'm so clumsy but I feel like with the sound there is just I don't know there's like not much to it here like maybe I can do it like ASMR here I have no idea
00:02:29
Speaker
So I'm going to start from the very beginning, although I don't want to make it all about my childhood, but I want to start where it's all started, I guess. So I think because the way I grew up, because I always had to be a self-starter and just learn to do my own thing,
00:02:52
Speaker
My parents weren't always around and same with my sister. We always kind of like very used to just like doing our thing, our things at a very young age. We were very used to just doing our own laundry, you know, getting things done, going to school ourselves very young age. So we never had a problem.
00:03:12
Speaker
So I remember when I was maybe turning, I don't know, 12, maybe 12 or 15, someone literally told me that I look like 18 or 19.
00:03:27
Speaker
Wait, wait, yeah, maybe something like that. Yeah, and that was the time I think it's because like, I guess I was so mature for my age because like I was in like as, I don't know, playful, like everyone else in school. I wasn't like so, I don't know, I wasn't like all over the place, I guess. Like, and not to say like that age, I guess people are all over the place, but like I was very mature for my age.
00:03:49
Speaker
Which is not to like burst my bubble. It's just more like I guess I was more thinking about my future. I was thinking about college and everything. I wasn't just, you know, like, oh, my God, let me get Starbucks every day or let me get like what else do people get nowadays? Pumpkin spice latte. I was too fucking broke for that.
00:04:10
Speaker
I mean I'm still broke for that but I still get coffee, not pumping spice anymore because I am what I mean I'm getting older so I'm not getting fat I'm not I'm not I don't want to get fat so
00:04:26
Speaker
Hence, no pumpkin spice, no flavor, no vanilla, no French vanilla I meant. Hazelnuts. I missed those. Anyways, I'm so digressing. I wanted to say I didn't have those. I never got those anything. I was just, you know,
00:04:47
Speaker
going to school, focusing on saving money so I can just, you know, get something for my sister for birthdays or like I would get something for myself. I don't know. I was always like trying to save money from my stipend that I would... Is that how it's called now? Oh my god. Not stipend. Allowance. Oh my god.
00:05:07
Speaker
I swear, guys, I am okay from my allowances because I would get like not a lot, I have to say. It was not a lot. And so I would sometimes save that because I would, I mean, I would tell my dad that I was gonna buy something from the cafeteria, but I would actually not buy it.
00:05:27
Speaker
I would maybe not eat, which now I'm thinking that was not a good idea because I would essentially starve myself for six, five hours, then come home and eat. So I would use that money. I would save that money because I guess I think I was getting maybe 20 bucks, $15, not a lot I mean.
00:05:47
Speaker
then I would save that. So like for one week, I would make like maybe a hundred dollars or something. So then I would, you know, save that money to get myself. I don't know. I mean, I don't think it was close that I would saving for, but I was saving for something else. Anyways, I am going so deep into it because like, this was just so weird. But those times that I was just,
00:06:10
Speaker
You know, I was thinking about all other stuff like the college and everything else. I always had like thought about the future. I wasn't just thinking about nowadays, parties, going to drinking because people, I mean, I was like the weirdest kid in college. Well, not in college, in high school. I mean, college is a completely different story. But I don't think I have ever mentioned so much about my high school. But in high school, I was like the weirdest kid. No one would talk to me because I was so quiet in the beginning.
00:06:36
Speaker
of high school, then just the regular times in high school, like other days, I mean, years, I guess, in high school, I was just, I don't know, like, no one generally would hang out with me because people would only hang out with me was because they wanted me to do their homework or something. It was just that kind of stuff. Once in a while, there would be like prom, I mean, that kind of stuff, you know, like dances and stuff. We would like
00:07:02
Speaker
save like I remember like they would you know ask money for it you know because it's always like you have to get a ticket for prom or the you know dances and stuff and I would be like oh my god it's kind of expensive I don't know if I want to go so people would always see me like a party pooper
00:07:19
Speaker
Which now I'm thinking, I guess that time makes sense. But I was just really not into it. And I swear it wasn't just about the party. It was just because I feel like there was more things that I could focus on also because I really didn't like my high school crowd. It wasn't just fun. And people were making fun of me all the time, which is a completely different story. But what I'm coming at, because I was so like that. So whenever we would go to, I don't know,
00:07:46
Speaker
family gathering or like we would go celebrate someone's birthday or Christmas anything like that people would always assume that I would be so much older which is like at to their extent I kind of kind of understand like why would they think like that but it's more like
Weight Loss and Age Perception
00:08:03
Speaker
I mean, it is kind of, I mean, I feel like at that time, because I was such a, I was a kid, I really didn't give a shit, I have to say. I really didn't care. I kind of liked being called old, like older age, because I was like, Oh my God, like, do you think I'm so mature? You know, shit like that. I was like, Oh, yes, people think I'm so mature. Also, because I was like, Oh my God, I can drink.
00:08:24
Speaker
Well, I mean, you know, like if you think that like you're older and like because every time I was getting called older age all the time, like I'm being serious. Like so even when I was like 18 people thought like I was 21. So I was called like that. I mean, there was also the time. This is so weird to like when I was maybe I think 17 or 16.
00:08:49
Speaker
I was called, no, when I was actually 21, that's like the weird part. When I was 21, people thought I was 18 because weird thing is that when I was in high school, so I was kind of like, I don't know, like I was eating well and anything like that. So I was just like, you know,
00:09:08
Speaker
Focusing on myself a little bit. But then like, I guess during that time, 21, 22, something like that, there was like a rough patch for me, you know, starting a college or right before going to college. It was just very difficult times for me. I lost a lot of weight and I was like skinny and stuff.
00:09:26
Speaker
So I guess maybe that's just why it made me look like I was 18. So I was kind of like, I have to say, I kind of like that. I was like, Oh, okay. Like people think I'm younger. So it's just so cool. But at the same time, I realized they were saying that not because not in like in a good way, they were saying it is because I look physically ill.
Social Media vs. Real-Life Age Perceptions
00:09:48
Speaker
Maybe I'm just projecting or overthinking, but like that's what I thought like they were saying it is because like, you know, I was so skinny. I had like, I mean, even nowadays, I still do, which I honestly because people will make fun of me all the time, but I'm just like, I don't care. So I do have dark circles.
00:10:05
Speaker
And this is sometimes like just happens is because I don't get enough sleep or just I don't know. It just happens, honestly. So that's why like I literally use eye cream all the time. So it's just kind of like my go to. I have been using eye cream for such a long time.
00:10:21
Speaker
So yeah, people would always make fun of me that I look like a dead kid, like I was falling apart, like that kind of thing. And also because of when I shave, also my face, people were just like, oh my god, yeah, he's such a kid. I would get ID'd all the time when I was that time, actually 23, 22. Even nowadays, actually, sometimes when I shave, completely shave, people always ID me.
00:10:47
Speaker
which is kind of fun. I have to say, when you get IDed, it feels nice. I remember when I was younger, I didn't want to get IDed because I was like, you know, I want to drink.
00:11:04
Speaker
But when I was, like now that I am older, I am like, I want people to ID me because I'm like, oh, such a compliment that like I look young. I mean, okay, this is like not going anywhere. It's not being helpful. I was just trying to be helpful. But what I'm saying is like, I feel like there's so much, there's various ways of like people are judging you for your age.
00:11:33
Speaker
Most of the time, if people have seen you, and I don't mean just seen you, it's more like if they have hung out with you and also kind of like they have seen, hang out with you, they have been in the crowd with you. They know you sort of, not completely, but they know you sort of. So they could kind of assume from your personality, also from the way you look, that you look older or you're older, you're younger.
00:12:02
Speaker
But if, you know, if it is someone from the outside or if they have only seen you like physically, like once or twice, they don't really know you or anything like that, or they haven't even hung out with you. That's kind of weird, you know, them assuming because actually a couple of times that people assume that I was literally so much older.
Dating, Feedback, and Age Misunderstandings
00:12:23
Speaker
People were like, little, I'm being serious. This happened to me actually on Instagram a lot.
00:12:28
Speaker
Which is like I was I mean, because I got so many comments on Instagram, like now that because I'm not as active, I I really don't care, honestly. But also, even if I got anything, I wouldn't care nowadays because I honestly just feel like a retired Instagram person personality, I guess.
00:12:48
Speaker
So that time, I think this was like two years ago or so. Or maybe a year. No, it was definitely two years ago. So I would sometimes get comments like that. People were thinking that I was like maybe 29, 27, 30. And I remember one time I dated this guy.
00:13:05
Speaker
And I swear, and this is, I mean, I guess nothing against him, but like, it's also kind of like, I mean, I wasn't insulted, but again, he was like, are you sure like you're not 27 or 28? Like, and apparently his coworker, like, because he showed my picture to his coworker, he was like, oh, like he must be 28 or 29.
00:13:31
Speaker
so he's like are you sure he's like not lying to her anything like that so then he asked me that which was super weird um i'm just like no why would i i mean i mean yes it would be nice to like just lie about my age and be like yeah i am so much younger than you guys think but
00:13:48
Speaker
I mean, at that time, I was 23. So, I mean, it was just so weird to me. Again, I wasn't taking any insult or anything like that. But sometimes I do take an insult. I feel like it really depends on the situation and what is going on. Because I think
00:14:07
Speaker
I mean, maybe this is just me, but I think you will know from someone's tone, again, this might be just me projecting, I generally analyze, I'm very good with analyzing people's tones, or the way they speak to me, or just generally the way they speak to generally, the way they just speak generally.
00:14:27
Speaker
I can pick up that like if that's hostile in certain way or just sincere, it's not sincere at all or just judgmental. It's just I think it's because I have gone to so many events now. Well, now it's just nothing is happening. But I can tell from someone's voice the way they're talking to me that if they are being honest with me or they're not being honest with me or they're just doing this for, I don't know, for a reason, I guess.
00:14:51
Speaker
So I can pick up that easily. So when that guy I was dating was asking me that, I can tell he wasn't like...
00:15:01
Speaker
He wasn't asking that to be like, oh, you're fucking old. It was just more like he was genuinely curious, which is funny. But no, at that time, I was literally 23. So I'm just like, yeah, I have got old so many times, and especially on social media, that people were always saying that I am this much older, older, or this old, something like that.
00:15:27
Speaker
That's why I don't think, I think only once or twice, this was like maybe two, three years ago, that I posted like my age. Then ever since then, I never did because every single time when I say my actual age, there has always been a shock. And this is honestly, don't even know how to take it that like, oh, you're shocked that I am at this age, like that like I look
00:15:51
Speaker
young or just like you're shocked because I look so fucking old. So it's very strange that like the way they speak to me. And recently, there was some other incident that happened. This was like, I don't have anything against or anything like that. But I
00:16:08
Speaker
So she was like gonna talk, I don't know, it was just like some weird thing. I was supposed to talk to someone about, someone from her friend group or something. And she was like, yeah, he's kind of like same age as you. He's 32. I was like, oh, I'm 25. So that was just like, I mean, it was like, I mean, come on, like 25 to 32. That's like a very big difference. Like you can't just,
00:16:36
Speaker
I don't know. I feel like, again, this is like not to say like it's a bad thing or anything, but I feel like sometimes you have to, you can't just guess people's age. And then you're guessing at least like you can try to be close to it because I feel like that sometimes puts people in like, I don't know, especially because like I feel like if that person, like you met that person in real life, like social media is totally different story.
00:16:58
Speaker
I honestly could care less whatever people say to me on social media because I have very thick skin through social media comments and stuff. So I literally even have a folder on my phone that's called hate comments because I don't even want to make a hate comments video.
00:17:15
Speaker
That's not even that case. But I feel like in real life and people just guess my age and if when it comes to just like certain way like they're judging in a way or it seems like they're judging that kind of feels hurtful because like they're essentially saying that like oh I look ugly or like I look ugly today or I look better before some shit like that. And I feel like that's just like that is very insensitive to guess people's age or ask them or guessing that like they're older or younger.
00:17:42
Speaker
Even nowadays, I mean, we can talk about all these TikTok stars. I just don't have anything against them and I can totally even understand what is happening or where they're coming from. Because I don't want to make this whole thing about me because it doesn't even get anywhere good, I have to say. So this is where I will end it with my age. But I want to talk about just generally, sometimes with age, people just go all over the place and go crazy.
Young Celebrities and Success Perceptions
00:18:09
Speaker
because like, you know, with Charlie DMLU, everyone is like, oh my gosh, she's only 16 and she's doing this and that, like she looks older or anything like that. Or there's other girl, this, everyone probably knows this, the girl from Stranger Girl, Stranger Things, I was gonna say Stranger Girls, oh my God, Stranger Things, you know, she's like the one with the main character.
00:18:30
Speaker
People were, I remember one comment, one picture she posted, everyone was like, I think it was like a makeup and stuff. Everyone was like, oh my gosh, she looks so old. Like she looks like 32 or anything like that. And I'm pretty sure similar comments, like Kyla got it too. I think it's just like this social media or like the makeup, I mean like acting modeling or anything like that, you do tend to use a lot of makeup or like there's so much that goes into your face, even with me.
00:19:01
Speaker
Nowadays, there's not much going on with me. I use, generally, skincare. But I have to say, whenever you have commercial shoots or shoots like that, you always have so much stuff that they put on your face. Even if you say no, they just do it anyways.
00:19:16
Speaker
So there's always like, I mean, a lot. So your skin can only take a lot, you know, like even if you take care of it. So that's why it can affect you a lot. But not to say like they look old, but I'm saying like makeup can also make you look different, too. But people were just calling her old. And that's that's just so hurtful. I feel like there because she could be 16, she could be 18, whatever the age the people are now. But like,
00:19:40
Speaker
They're at that age and they're more mature and that's why they're achieving so many things. Like look at Charlie. At 16, she has like now a drink, a drink at Dunkin'. She has, what is it? She has like this makeup, this Morphe. She has a collaboration with Morphe and she has this brand deal. There's another, oh Hollister. So she has a lot going on.
00:20:08
Speaker
And same was that that girl from Stranger Things and same as Kylie. I mean, Kylie is now 20. Is she 22, I think, or 23? Anyway, she's like that age. But I remember before they were like calling her the old two or like they still even now call her like she looks like 42 or something like that.
00:20:25
Speaker
I think it's just because some people, not to say like, that's also me too, but like, I feel like in some ways, yes, that they tend to grow up very fast for their age.
Societal Expectations for Young Success
00:20:37
Speaker
And this will happen to me when I was like little, because I didn't have my parents weren't always around. So I had to learn so many things myself. So I kind of grow up so fast.
00:20:46
Speaker
And I feel like same thing that applies to like these famous people, too. And or other people, too, like sometimes for their age, people are way more mature. And that's why they achieve so many things and that's why they get so many things. But that's why also they get attacked so many times because people are like, oh, at 16, I was doing different thing or I was doing that. I was doing this. But like now people at 16, they have like mansions or they have, I don't know, like businesses and everything like that. I am all for it. That means like they have goals and dreams.
00:21:16
Speaker
And I think that is just amazing. And that's what I'm trying to come at. I feel like people tend to just value or try to diminish you sometimes because of your age, because you look younger and they want you to kind of have older status, making you more mature.
00:21:36
Speaker
And that's why something I hate the most. This has happened to me multiple times on various occasions, even when I even got on a job and anything like, like trying to get a job, I guess that's one reason I feel like corporate America is just fucked. I mean, sucks. So like, because like, you would be like, I mean, I think this couple times when I was even applying for just I was like, maybe 22 or 23.
00:21:57
Speaker
they would be like expecting five or six years of working experience and I don't mean like just general experience because I feel like if there's like experience about just certain things I can count what I have been doing at school and stuff as an experience but it was more like solid in-house like in-office experience.
00:22:16
Speaker
or like in-studio experience. And that was just so different. Like how come I could have done that? Hence, I feel like so many people nowadays, when they are young, they are starting so early because like sometimes, like especially for some jobs, they really require so much experience and you have to start so slow, so small, like so early. And that's why like sometimes like your age and everything, people are always automatically assuming that like you're so much older because of how much experience you have. And that just like,
00:22:44
Speaker
Very hard, because that's what I'm saying. There's always advantages and disadvantages. When you have a lot of experience at such a young age, people automatically kind of assume that you're so much older. And none of it just assume. They kind of believe, or they tend to just crack it down and anything like that to like, oh, yeah, this is the age
Corporate Age Bias vs. Experience
00:23:03
Speaker
you're at. And I have to kind of like, I don't want to just put this out there. We kind of have to blame this on society, and I think it is a true fact.
00:23:13
Speaker
This is something I also recently read somewhere and people were like going crazy over it, which I was like, whatever. If you guys have watched Selling the Sunset, so there was this girl, Divina, she is supposedly about on the show, they were saying that she's 32, but actually she's 40 and everyone was like going crazy. They're like, oh my God, whatever, like what's happening? She lied about her age or anything like that.
00:23:38
Speaker
But I can totally understand why that might happen. First of all, I mean, it's a reality show, but there are so many times in reality shows nothing is real. And I also have to say, like most of the time, whatever you see on TV, 90% of it is not real. That's one thing. The other thing is like sometimes, but because of the society that we are viewing at,
00:23:58
Speaker
They want to make people so successful at a young age. They want them to look like, oh my God, she's 32 and she has $75 million listing. Because if she's 40 and they're already expecting so much from her because of her age, but if she's younger, people are going to be like, oh, she's so successful.
00:24:20
Speaker
maybe this is just me assuming but I'm just saying like this is literally what people are thinking. Everyone is like now just like shitting on Divina because like she lied her about age. So I'm just like well you know that's kind of hurtful that like I mean I wasn't upset about it or anything like that so and same thing goes to that too like I feel like generally it's just people are like
00:24:40
Speaker
yeah like if you're so much younger you have you know there's always two sides so it's so much younger and if you have so much success and goals anything like that at a younger age people are automatically like oh yeah like you're successful at a younger age then also there's other parts to it in the corporate America I guess
00:24:59
Speaker
that if you are younger and if you have even more experience, sometimes in corporate, they're not going to see that experience. They're going to just see your age and that's what they're going to make their decision on and that's what makes it sometimes so fucked up because
00:25:17
Speaker
I guess if someone, I mean, if the corporations or some people are very open-minded and understanding, that's where the comes into like, you're young and you have a lot of experience and they totally get like, oh, you're young, but you have a lot of experience. So that's very cool.
Age Judgments Reflecting Insecurities
00:25:32
Speaker
But if they're old fashioned or traditional and stuff like that, people are automatically thinking that like,
00:25:41
Speaker
Yeah, you're bullshitting about this. You don't have this much experience. You need to have more years or anything like that. That's why they would expect you to be like 40 or something. You're like, yeah, you're 40. You must have a lot of experience just because of your age. And that's what I feel so crazy sometimes. And that's why I want to mention it too.
00:26:05
Speaker
Like, how is that even like, I just feel like it's so like crazy that like people are automatically guessing ages based on your life and based on like how you're, you know, how you're acting in front of them. It's just so crazy.
00:26:21
Speaker
I think we can just automatically assume that and or just guess people that because sometimes some people take that very seriously or some people very sensitive towards that because they have had multiple occasions on that like someone like me I know I have like granted so much in this episode but I want to just mention it too
00:26:39
Speaker
Like there are so many occasions that like I have called in different ways and that's why it was so sensitive to me and I'm pretty sure it might be also sensitive to other people too because people some people and it's not even just sometimes about the age people are sometimes automatically thinking that if you are calling them old.
00:26:57
Speaker
they're like, oh, like, or older age, because they're like, oh, because I look old, or like, because my physical appearance, like, like they don't automatically assume other things. I remember even like I saw this. I'm just gonna end up with this, like, because it's funnier. If you guys have watched Office in the one of the episodes, I think Michael Scott was seeing this woman.
00:27:20
Speaker
for a date, and he's like, yeah, you look nice for someone like your age. Someone like your age who's 75 or something like that. And she's probably 40 or something.
00:27:37
Speaker
And she's like, that is very rude. So I just feel like you can't just assume that based on their look and stuff. Because people go through different things. And I think there are some things that are just kind of sacred. And also, you have to keep it that way. You can't just assume things. Because I feel like this all goes back to the way they are. And if they are assuming that is kind of their insecurity, it's never about you. That's what I want to end it with.
00:28:06
Speaker
If someone is guessing your age and guessing you wrong, or if they are offending you in a certain way, you have to remember that. It's never about you. It is about them and their insecurities, and they want to project this on you. So anyways, guys, this was the episode for today.
Feedback and Next Week's Preview
00:28:22
Speaker
It was a little me. It was a bit me ranting about the situation, but I feel like it was something that a lot of people went through, so I just wanted to share it. If you guys like this episode, please make sure to give a review on Apple Podcast, and I'll see you guys next week.
00:28:36
Speaker
Bye!